April 23, 2024 • 39 mins
Ben and Ashley are hanging out with one of the superstars from last season of Bachelor in Paradise, John Henry!
We discuss if opposites really do attract, and John opens up about why things didn’t work out between him and Kat.
And you won’t believe the story of WHO nominated John for The Bachelorette!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast
with iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Hey guys, welcome to the Almost Famous Podcast. Today, we
have a man that you will remember from last season
a Bachelor in Paradise on the show. His name is
John Henry, John Henry. I have a question for you.
Is Henry the last name or is it like a
combined first name.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
It's actually my middle name.
Speaker 4 (00:25):
Okay, So my family, they're kind of old school growing up.
John Henry is like what everybody called me my family,
A lot of my like my hometown friends growing up,
you know, it was always John Henry.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
And then like my sister, she's Kate Marie. My other
sister is Lauren Ann. So I've kind of gone by
John Henry pretty much like my whole life. But then,
I mean, I go by John two. Like, I don't
introduce myself as John Henry. I'll just say John. But
then once they get to know me, it's John Henry.
Speaker 5 (00:57):
And this is one of the worst phenomenons in the
United States. And I'll tell you why. I'm married a
girl from the South and all of her friends have
two first names, and so when I first met her,
it was hard enough to know the one name, then
I have to know the two names, and all of
them are like Anna, Lie, Anna, Kate, Anna, Meredith, like
(01:19):
they all have two names.
Speaker 4 (01:20):
It's hard, yeah, but with a name like John, everybody's John,
so it makes it easy. You know, if someone just
sells John, everybody looks. But then you know, if they
say John Henry, it's like, okay, that's me. So it
just makes it easier. What's your last name, Spurlock?
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Okay, all right, John Henry Spurlock. Well, we wanted to
have you here today, of course to talk about your
experience in Bachelor in Paradise. You are one of the
engaged couples this season, season nine, and it's how do
you feel about the reputation that like season nine ruined
the whole thing because because so many failed relationships that
(02:02):
came from it and that's why we're not getting another paradise.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
It doesn't bother me. I mean, I I don't know.
I just I did it.
Speaker 4 (02:12):
I had fun, found somebody, you know, gave it a shot,
and I'm happy about like my experience.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
You know, I wouldn't change it for anything.
Speaker 4 (02:22):
But as far as the rest of the season goes
and how people view it, I mean, I don't really care.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
It doesn't bother me.
Speaker 5 (02:27):
The interesting thing, I think from your perspective would be
why did so many relationships look like they could work
coming off the show and ended up not working, you know,
a very in a very short time from the show.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
I don't really know.
Speaker 4 (02:47):
It's kind of hard for me to talk about that
because I'm not really too focused on the other relationships.
You know, Obviously, me and Kat we ended up getting engaged,
and I know our story, and I don't really want
to talk about the other couple's stories because you know,
that's I feel like that's kind of for them to
touch on. But you know, as far as me and
(03:10):
Kat go, like, you know, I gave it my all
and we tried it and it didn't work out, but
that's okay.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
And uh, I mean, yeah, you and Kat seems like
an odd couple right off the bat. You seem like
a very salt of the earth, grounded type of guy,
sweet southern and she and I think Kat is hilarious
and I like loved her personality for TV and I
(03:37):
think she has a good heart, stunning, but like, yeah,
you guys are definitely an odd couple. And how did
that work out in your favor, and how did it
ultimately not?
Speaker 4 (03:50):
I mean, yeah, like we couldn't be any more different.
You know, I knew that, she knew that. Everybody else
at the beach, you know, everybody said like we were
probably like the last couple.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
They ever would have imagined getting together.
Speaker 4 (04:04):
Yeah, but like you said, like, I don't know, it
just worked, like because she's you know, she's really vocal.
She's like loud, and she's always all over the place.
And then like I'm a little more grounded, So like,
I don't know, it just it worked like we couldn't
be any more different, but at the same time it fit,
you know.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
So yeah, it's like one of those situations where it's
opposite a tract and that's a good thing for the
shirt short term, but for the long term it often
doesn't work out.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Yeah, you know, like you know that in meme.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
I don't know if it's like a meme, but like
it's like if I order French fries at a restaurant
and they give me tater tots, like you need to
find a girl that's gonna tell the server like he
didn't order, you know, tater tots. So it's like, I'm
not gonna complain. You know, I'll eat the tater tots.
I don't care. But like, you know, Kat's a kind
of girl like she's gonna speak up. She's gonna be like, no,
he didn't order that, he ordered for us.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
That's hilarious. Both Jared and I are not going to
complain about the tator tosts though we're right there.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
I'll eat them. It's not the end of the world.
Speaker 5 (05:12):
But you know, stand up for your man, Ashley.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Wait then then what what you and Jess? Who's going
to tell the waiter that you guys.
Speaker 5 (05:20):
Didn't know about? Not a single soul. But it's an
interesting concept, John Henry, because you know, I'm from Indiana
originally and from an incredible agriculture town, and we have
some very like prominent, really successful farmers. And these farmers
are oftentimes from farming families, you know, third four generation farmers,
(05:44):
and their life is hard, right, wake up at five am,
you close the barn door at eight pm. But you're
you're very wealthy. Typically these farmers are very wealthy. And
we had this thing in town wet It kind of
called it farming princesses, where you'd have the farmers who
are as simple as simple can be. They could ask
for nothing ever, and they're just good doing what they're doing.
(06:07):
But they'd have their wives who would kind of push
them and stretch them to experience the world in a
different way. Right, maybe, Hey, I want to go to
a fancier dinner tonight. So can you throw on your
nice jeans and your nice shirt and your boots and
take me to a fancy dinner. Is that kind of
what you're talking about where it felt like kat might
just be that enough of a difference for you to
(06:27):
push you into a realm that you would never go
into on your own.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Uh.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
Yeah, And you know, that's one of the big things
that really call my attention from the beginning with her,
is like, you know, I want somebody different than me.
I don't want someone exactly like me with the same hobbies.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
You know.
Speaker 4 (06:45):
I like having my hobbies and doing my own thing,
and she has her hobbies and does her own thing,
and I don't know like that. That's that's always kind
of what I liked and like knowing Kad is totally
different than me, Like she can show me a lot
and at the same time, you know, I can show
her a lot. So I like change, I like doing
different things, So like, yeah, I mean that I really
(07:09):
liked the idea of that with her. You know, that
was one of the things that I first noticed and
was like, okay, like, you know, it's kind of what
I'm looking for.
Speaker 5 (07:15):
I think my follow up to that would be what
do you look? I mean, I don't want to skip
too far ahead here, but what are you looking for now?
Now that you've experienced a cat in your life and
seeing kind of that difference, are you now as you
focus on what you're into now in the future, is
it back to kind of comfort and somebody that will
just like ride along with you and you guys can
(07:37):
do what you do or is it still that kind
of more cat style that will push you outside of it?
Speaker 3 (07:44):
Uh? Both.
Speaker 4 (07:46):
I still I still like the idea of having, you know,
somebody that's totally different than me. But it kind of
made me realize too. It's like like the like down
to the core, like you have to be similar, you
have to you know, there's a lot of things that
you have to be similar on. But then like all
the things that don't matter, like that's what I want
(08:06):
to be different, But like when it comes to all
the deep stuff, you know that has to be on track.
Speaker 5 (08:13):
Yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Okay, So when you propose, it was kind of hilarious
because you said, my head is telling me not to
do this, but my heart is telling me to go
for it. To your future self proposing one other day,
do you want both your heart and your head to
be at the same place.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Yeah, I mean obviously.
Speaker 4 (08:37):
But Paradise is such a a not like a normal
way of getting engaged, Like you know, it's such a
short period of time, and going on the show, like
I knew that, Like I knew it was going to
be a lot different than like every day dating. And
(08:57):
like in everyday dating, you know, I think two three
years then I'll be, you know ready.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
But going to.
Speaker 4 (09:04):
Paradise, it's like I know how it works, you know,
I know the end goal, and like in order to
go on the show, I guess you have to be
open to it.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
So I was, you know, in my head.
Speaker 4 (09:18):
Like we got along really well, and you know, things
couldn't have been any better at Paradise, So you know,
it's getting down to the end and I have to
make up a decision, and I was all in but
like it was such a short period of time, So
it's like I was thinking back on like just normal
everyday dating, Like, yeah, it's absolutely insane to get engaged
(09:39):
after just a couple of weeks. But knowing that that,
you know, that's what I signed up for, I had
to be open to it. And uh, you know, I
was leaving the beach and I was thinking myself, well,
I mean, it couldn't go any better with Kat, so
it was like, let's let's just do it, you know,
let's give it a shot.
Speaker 5 (09:56):
You just don't seem like the type of guy to me.
Out of anybody maybe I've ever seen from the show
Chris Souls would be a close second, but you don't
seem like a guy that would ever have any interest
in doing this thing.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
I didn't. I didn't. You're absolutely right.
Speaker 5 (10:15):
So two questions here that you have to answer, probably
in one response, okay, would be why did you do it?
And then how did you get yourself? Because you just
said that you were going onto the beach with the
right intention, like what everybody else there says they're doing.
I believe that you went with the right intention because
I don't believe you to be a man trying to
(10:36):
make up something that's not true, So why did you go?
And then how in the world did you get your
mind in the right place to even do it without
wanting to do it at all?
Speaker 4 (10:50):
So I guess I have to kind of go back
to the Bachelorette because that's where the whole decision came
to do it all.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
And I didn't apply.
Speaker 4 (11:01):
You know, I was floating out on a barge out
in the middle of the ocean and I got a
phone call, and you know, it was one of the
casting producers and she basically told me, like I got
nominated online and they were just like curious if I was,
you know, still single, and if i'd be interested. And
at first I told him no, I was like, absolutely not,
(11:22):
Like do you know, I don't really know for sure.
I think it was my buddy's ext girlfriend at the time. Wow,
So it was a long it was a long time ago. Yeah,
it was a long time ago. And like I told
him no, I was like, because I know, like about
the show. I know, you got doctors and lawyers and
personal trainers and then I work construction, so like, I
(11:44):
have no business being on that show. So at first,
when she first started talking to me. I told him no.
I was like, I'm not going to do this. But
she was like, you know, this isn't a guaranteed that
you're going to be on. She was like, just think
about it. She was like, go through the process, and
you know, if they end up picking you, then you
can make up your mind. And I was like, okay, whatever,
you know, I'll go through it and.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
See what happens. And then I made it to the end.
Speaker 4 (12:08):
You know, they told me that they wanted me to
be on it, and I was like, well, I was like,
now I got to do it, you know.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
Yeah, So I don't know, I decided.
Speaker 4 (12:17):
To do it, and then I kind of I knew
about how it works and everything, so then I had
to change my mindset to be like, okay, so like
this isn't like typical dating.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
I have to be open to how this is all going.
Speaker 4 (12:28):
To work and you know the situation, and so I
just decided to do it. But you know, I'm the
kind of guy like, if I'm going to do something,
I'm going to give it my all. I'm not just
going to half ask it. I'm just you know, I'm
going to give it everything I got and see what happens.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
Okay, So I want to go to the moment where
you and Kat cameras stop rolling. You're at the hotel
in Mexico. You probably get a few days just to
rocks the two of you. What was your vibe, because
it just like everything can change in those days, you
like really know, you're like, oh, is this gonna last
or not. I think in those.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
Days, I don't think it was anything like too crazy,
because like me and Kat, we did have a lot
of conversations, like without cameras, and you know, I think
you get you get a really good idea on what
someone's all about when the cameras are not around. So
I've already had, you know, several moments with Kat where
(13:33):
I got to see, you know, who she really is,
like without all the cameras. So when we're in Mexico
in the hotel afterwards, you know, I already already already knew,
and I was just excited. I was so excited that
the whole thing was over, and like I was just
looking forward, like you know, we're all we're super excited
about the relationship. We were still one hundred percent in
(13:55):
and you know, we started making plans and when we're
going to start seeing each other. So I was really excited,
like it was. It didn't really catch me by just
like surprise. I didn't like see a side of Cat
then that you know, I didn't see before. So I
was I was just very comfortable, and I was I
was ready to, uh, you know, see where things were
gonna go.
Speaker 5 (14:15):
And then things went sideways, right.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
I wouldn't, I don't.
Speaker 4 (14:21):
I mean they they went a little sideways, but nothing
too drastic, Like we didn't have a crazy.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
Breakup story like you know we have. We had a
very healthy relationship for months after filming, and then I
don't know, things didn't go sideways. It's just I started to.
Speaker 4 (14:43):
See our differences and you know, we decided to end up,
you know, ultimately just going our different different ways. But
looking back on the relationship, like we had a beautiful
relationship for months. We did a lot of cool things together,
and like I have a lot of good memory, he said,
I'm truly thankful for so like me and Kat, we're
still cool. We can still talk and you know, there's
(15:05):
no hard feelings. So you know, I don't look at
it as like a fail because I had some great
times with her.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
So you'd say it was mutual.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
It's mutual. It's mutual.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Now I'd say, oh, it's mutual. Now elaborate please.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
All right. Okay, so if you guys want to go
into detail, I guess I can go and do. This
is a long story. You guys got time.
Speaker 5 (15:29):
Yes, I have nothing else going on.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
All right, Where do I start? I guess I have
to start this story ten years ago?
Speaker 5 (15:38):
Oh wow?
Speaker 3 (15:39):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (15:39):
So I got into commercial diving, well about eight years
ago now, and I knew what I was signing up for.
I knew it was going to be a lot of traveling.
It was going to be a lot of long days,
long nights every day, you know, seven days a week.
And I knew it wasn't going to be a very
(16:01):
relationship friendly career. So when I first got into it,
I told myself, I'll do it for ten years, and
then after ten years, I'm going to get out and
I'll find, you know, a little more stable career where
I can stay local and actually like start a relationship.
So anyways, you know, I've been doing my thing, and
(16:21):
then I get the call for the show and I
was like eight years in, and I knew I only
had a couple more years and then I was going
to fully get out of diving and you know, try
to start a relationship and everything.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
But the show like didn't. I didn't plan on the show.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
It just kind of fell in my lap, right, So
I was like, okay, you know, if it, if I
end up meeting somebody, you know, I did eight years.
I didn't do the full ten like I said I
was going to do, which is you know, I'm good
with that. So me and Kat, you know, we meet
at Paradise and we talked about it, and like I
told her, you know, like as of right now, like
my career.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
Is not relationship friendly.
Speaker 4 (17:00):
She knew that, but I was like, it's you know,
my plan is to get out of it anyways, and
you know, do something where it's it's easier, you know
for that.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
Can I stop you right there? Can you tell us
about your day to day? Like I know, so you're
a commercial diving welders, so basically you're like down there
making bridges and stuff, welding underwater, which is like the
most mind boggling thing. I Bridge creation and all that
is like so cool, and I don't know how you
guys do it. But is that what you do.
Speaker 4 (17:31):
Yeah, I mean my job title technically is just a
commercial diver, so like underwater welding, that's just part of
the job, you know, I'm not specifically just like welding
underwater all day every day. So it just depends on
the job. I could be on a bunch of different things.
It could be a ship that sank that we're bringing
back up, or like you said, building bridges.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
Or I don't know. We've done all kinds of crazy things.
But okay, that's that's what I love about it.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
You like living on boats and in hotels and stuff
wherever the job like, wherever they need you pretty much.
Speaker 4 (18:07):
I haven't bounced around a ton, but you know, I've
worked in Virginia Beach and then I went and you know,
I was in Charleston. I've done some stuff up in
New York, and then I went and worked in Germany
for a year, and then I worked in Austria for
a little bit, and then now I'm back in Virginia Beach.
But this is coming to an end. I have, you know,
(18:28):
something lined up. But uh so, yeah, So, I mean
I've kind of bounced around whatever jobs, you know, if
they have something really cool going on, and I don't know,
let's say Sweden, you know, I'll up and go to
Sweden for a while and do that job and then
go to the next one. So it's kind of all
over the place. But like I knew that's what I
signed up for when I got into this career. Okay,
(18:50):
So anyways, like with Kat, you know, we start to
have a relationship and she knows my schedule, she knows, like,
you know, what I was, what I was doing, what
she kind of got involved with. And then I started
it's hard for me to take time off. It really
is hard for me to take time off. And we
(19:12):
started making all these plans, like she first came up
to Virginia and we had a nice little weekend here,
and then I went to Tampa and seeing her, and
then she ended up moving to Asheville, North Carolina.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
Why she took a travel nurse gig.
Speaker 4 (19:28):
So her plans were to go to San Diego, but
she wasn't able to go as soon as she was
hoping to, so she had a several weeks like kind
of just to wait around to figure out what's going
on with San Diego. So she decided to take a
travel nurse gig in Ashville, which was closer to me,
so that we could, you know, be closer to each other.
(19:51):
And so she moved to Ashville, and then I went
to Asheville a couple couple times in seeing her, and
then you know, things were going really well.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
But then you know.
Speaker 4 (20:02):
I'm I'm now so I'm I have this job and
then I get in there this relationship, and then now
it's like, okay, well now I have to start figuring
out what I'm going to do, how I'm going to
make this transition to a career that is going to
be a lot easier for me, like in her to
work with. And he kind of called me by surprise because,
like I said, I originally, you know, I had two
(20:24):
more years and then I was going to make that happen.
But now you know, started this with her and got engaged.
It was like, okay, so now I need to start
doing this now, and uh it just called me by surprise.
So now I'm starting to stress out about how I'm
going to.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
Make this move. I know she wants to go to
San Diego, so.
Speaker 4 (20:42):
Now I'm I'm kind of looking at jobs out in
San Diego, Like do I want to keep diving just
because it's what I do, and I could move there
and die for a little bit at least get me
over there, and then once I'm there, I can figure
something out. And uh so, I don't know, I really
started to get stressed out on how I'm going to
make this work on my end.
Speaker 3 (21:04):
And I think once.
Speaker 4 (21:06):
I really started to get stressed out, I don't know
how do I say this? So I started to have
my doubts right, and I started to think about like
am I fully ready to drop diving? And it started
(21:29):
to worry me because you know, my end goal was
to like, you know, fall in love, find a wife,
and I thought this whole process would be a lot easier,
but it wasn't, and it was really stressful.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
And then it just started to make me think, like
why am I so stressed? Why is this move and
transition so hard for me? Like this should be easy, you.
Speaker 4 (21:53):
Know, like I'm in love, I'm with someone that I
really like. This should be no problem for me to
switch career years and find something else. But that wasn't
the case. So then I started thinking to myself, like,
is this is this really it?
Speaker 3 (22:07):
Like? Is this is this really what?
Speaker 4 (22:09):
I want, and I guess once I started kind of
thinking that, it just kind of started spiraling for me
and everything else. Everything just started to get more stressful.
And then I started to see our differences a lot
more so things just really got hard for me. And
(22:29):
then at the same time, like you know, at this point,
the show's airing, and you know, Kat is just getting
so much hate and it was really hard for her too,
just dealing dealing with that. So now you have this
like she's all she's really stressed out, and she's just
(22:50):
everyone's coming at her on a day to day basis.
And then I'm stressed out trying to make my move,
you know, trying to make this work, figuring out careers,
and then I'm getting stressed and now I'm having doubts,
so I'm trying to It's just it got to a
point where it was just extremely hard for the.
Speaker 3 (23:07):
Both of us.
Speaker 4 (23:08):
And then basically I just I, you know, I called
it quits. I said, I just this doesn't feel right.
I think this should be a lot easier than what
it is, and it just it wasn't the case. So
then I was like, well, why isn't the case, Like,
what's what's wrong, and then I just started thinking to myself,
like maybe this just isn't for me. And then once
I got that in my head, you know, it just
(23:30):
kind of spiraled from there.
Speaker 5 (23:32):
Was she shocked.
Speaker 3 (23:33):
She was shocked.
Speaker 4 (23:34):
I think that uh, you know, it wasn't wasn't really
fair to her because at the time, you know, I
was her you know, I was her fiance. You know,
I'm supposed to be her rock. I'm supposed to be
there for her. And I think the hardest thing for
her was like, you know, so I don't I don't know,
(23:57):
but like I had, you know, a thing about like depression,
and I made a post about it and I had
a walk for depression, and you know, this is kind
of new to me. Well at first started you know,
I started dealing with it like seven eight years ago,
but this was my first relationship that I was in
where I dealt with depression. So I'm getting stressed out
(24:19):
about everything. And then you know, I definitely got in
like a loaf from it. And then now Kat, you know,
she's just she she really needed that support for me.
But now I got all this all this anxiety and
I'm dealing with depression and then I shut down, So
I definitely wasn't there for her like I should have been.
(24:42):
So I think that was the hardest thing for her,
was like you know the fact that like I'm supposed
to be her guy, I'm supposed to be there for her,
and I was struggling with that because of all the
issues that I was dealing with myself. So that was
that was the hardest thing for her, I think for sure.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
And it was all happening while the show was airing,
and then you guys basically broke up like the last
week that it was airing.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
Yeah, we actually broke up right before the finale.
Speaker 5 (25:12):
Actually, I'm curious, though, would you say, I mean you
were engaged from the show? Is Kat to date the
greatest love that you've had?
Speaker 4 (25:23):
Kat is amazing? You know, she really is something special,
Like she's not my longest relationship, but but cat Cat's
Cat's a catch. Like you know, I'll tell you, Like,
she she definitely did her part, you know, because like.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
Distance is hard, distance is hard for everybody. But she did.
Speaker 4 (25:49):
You know, she when she loves you know, she gives
it her all. And uh, she did everything that she
needed to do and then some in order to try
to make our relationship work. And uh, you know even
after even after we ended up breaking up, you know
it was it was hard at first for sure, but
we definitely kept in touch and like, you know, dealing
(26:11):
with all my depression stuff. Like she's reached out several times,
like she's always checking in. Uh, she's sent me a
lot of podcasts and stuff to listen to and like
some books and stuff to read just to help, and
like she's been nothing but supportive, you know, after.
Speaker 3 (26:25):
The breakup, and so like she's Cat's Cat's a good one.
Speaker 4 (26:31):
You know, it didn't work out with us, but someone's
definitely going to be very lucky.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
To have her.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
Would you say that you were in love with her?
Speaker 3 (26:39):
Or maybe absolutely? Yeah, yeah I would, I would.
Speaker 5 (26:54):
Thanks for sharing all that, I mean, it makes things
make more sense too. And you are taking a lot
of the ownership and in this relationship and why it
ended the way it did and I and all and
it all makes sense. Like none of this is nobody's
hearing any of this and be like what are you
talking about? Longest relationships are easy and you know mental
health struggles, Yeah, you just move on. No, those are
(27:15):
real things that were going on and The hope here
is that you know your future is bright, and we
know cats will be bright, and that things you know,
new loves will come into your life. But today your
relationship the only It's funny, one of the only markets
we have people are still getting along is social media.
(27:36):
And you still follow Cat on social media, but we
noticed that Cat doesn't follow you any longer, which made
us think that there was, you know, a more of
a divide here than what we understood it to be.
Can you speak to that a little bit?
Speaker 4 (27:51):
Yeah, So, like I said, we kept in touch for
a while even after the breakup, and she moved to
Sandy because that was her dream, that's what she wanted
to do. So she made that happen. And you know,
she would always call me and show me all the
sunsets and stuff, and she was talking about her new
(28:12):
place and how excited she was and how much she
was loving it. And then you know, at the end
of the day, I'm the one who cut it off
with her, and we stayed civil, we stayed friends, and
I think it was definitely it was hard for her
because it's not what she wanted. She was still fully invested.
She wanted to make you know, make it last and
(28:33):
do everything that she could and try.
Speaker 3 (28:35):
To make it work.
Speaker 4 (28:36):
But you know, I just started to see our differences
and I was just really struggling with you know, making
it work on my end. So when I cut it off,
I mean, she's doing great. She's living her life in
San Diego. She's a nurse practitioner now, she's got a
really good job. She's doing her own thing, having a blast,
(28:57):
and like I'm you know, I'm still working on my
stuff here. I got a lot to you know, to
figure out on my end. But it's just it became
clear to me that I think this was the right decision.
But when it comes to, you know, us talking, we
don't really talk much anymore. Now we're civil. If she
(29:18):
called me, I'd be there in a heartbeat if she
you know, if I needed her, I know she'd answer
the phone and she'd do anything she couldn't help. But
from like a relationship standpoint, I think, you know, after
a little while, she told me, she was like, I
don't think we should talk anymore because it's just it's difficult,
and I think she did it just to kind of
(29:38):
focus on herself and try to move on. She said,
just keeping in touch and always talking all the time.
It just wasn't helping her. So she made the decision
we just weren't gonna you know, really talk and keep
in touch like we're civil we're friends, but also it
was time for us just to totally separate. Yeah, so
(29:59):
I she unfollowed me, but you know, it doesn't bother me.
But I mean I still follow her because I still, like,
you know, seeing what she's doing and everything that, you know, all.
Speaker 3 (30:09):
Her goals that she always talked about. It's nice. It's
nice for me to see you know, her getting everything
done that she wanted to get done. So that's why
I still follow her, just because I'm I'm proud of her.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
That's sweet. How's your mental health now doing good?
Speaker 4 (30:26):
I'm getting definitely getting a lot better. But you know,
just like I said, being in a relationship while dealing
with it, this was my first time, so it definitely
opened my eyes to a lot of things that I.
Speaker 3 (30:40):
Didn't really know before that.
Speaker 4 (30:41):
It took me getting in a relationship to realize, like
I got some things that I got to get figured out.
But after getting rid of, you know, getting out of
that relationship, and like I'm done trying to figure out,
you know, trying to make everything happen and move in
such a short period of time. You know, I'm just
back on a normal I'm going to make it happen
when it's meant to you know, meant to be, and
(31:04):
it's just way less weight off my shoulders. I just,
you know, I can. I can just make this transition
like I originally thought, you know, without it being so stressful.
Speaker 5 (31:15):
Are you going to continue to dive then?
Speaker 4 (31:19):
I mean for now, because yeah, now I'm back to
being single, and you know, I I definitely I don't
see myself getting into another relationship for a little while.
Like I said, I've got some things that you've got
to get figured out.
Speaker 3 (31:31):
But I'm getting there. You know, I'm definitely getting better.
Speaker 4 (31:35):
But you know, I'm just gonna get myself right because
I know I hurt Cat, and you know that's the
last thing I want to do is.
Speaker 3 (31:44):
Hurt somebody else.
Speaker 4 (31:45):
So before I get into another relationship, I have to
make sure that you know I'm mentally ready for it.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (31:53):
Well, since so you haven't been out there dating, you're
kind of focused on yourself.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
Not really, No, I just I took new job.
Speaker 4 (32:02):
I can't really speak on it right now, but I
am making a move.
Speaker 3 (32:08):
I'm really excited. It's gonna be super good for me.
Speaker 4 (32:11):
It's gonna be a super fun job that I'm going
to and uh yeah, so I'm just gonna I'm gonna
go and then I'm gonna enjoy this for my last
couple of years and then you know, I'll be ready
to figure out my next move after that. But for now,
this was something that I couldn't pass up and I'm
super excited about it.
Speaker 5 (32:30):
We do as a favor and at least share on
social media what this new job is. In a week,
then when you can't talk about it, so everybody can.
Speaker 3 (32:37):
I will.
Speaker 4 (32:37):
It's it's still diving, okay. I'm just building something really
cool and a really cool location.
Speaker 5 (32:45):
Oh, super fun. Good for you, man, that's awesome. Now,
speaking of diving, total change is subject this week on
National News, the largest tagged great white was found on
the shelf of Jupiter, Florida. There was a free diver
and people are down there filming the free diver, and
(33:07):
out from the depths of the ocean came the biggest
great white I've ever seen in my life. Did you
see this? Picture yet No, I actually have not. Okay,
you got to look at it. And then the second
question is have you had anything similar happen to you?
Have you had any massive sharks come up while you've
been diving.
Speaker 4 (33:27):
I was actually cutting a big steel pipe underwater, and
it's a pretty wild concept of how we cut steel
underwater because we actually cut it with like electricity and fire,
but underwater. Yeah, so it's a pretty wild you know,
you say, like cutting stuff with fire underwater, Like people think,
(33:47):
like how does that even work?
Speaker 3 (33:48):
But it's like it does because of electricity. But so anyways,
I'm down there and uh.
Speaker 4 (33:54):
It's pitch black, it's muddy, I can't see anything, and
I'm just cutting this pipe and then and all of
a sudden, something just smokes me from my back and
it just throws me like eight feet and h It
was in the area where there's you know, there's a
lot of shark all the time, and you know, just
with how how it hit me, how hard it hit me,
(34:17):
and like I could tell like this thing's huge, whatever
it is, it is way bigger than me.
Speaker 3 (34:21):
But I you know, I'm.
Speaker 4 (34:23):
Cutting with fire, so like this thing hits me and
I just turn around. I get up and I can't
see anything, but I point this thing at him and
I just start shooting fireworks at him. And he didn't
come back, but you know, it was it was there,
but uh, after a little while, it just it didn't
come back.
Speaker 3 (34:40):
So I just had to go back to work.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
How many feet deep do you go?
Speaker 3 (34:43):
Furthest The deepest I've been is one hundred and seventy
five feet rap, which actually, you know, in the diving
world is actually not even that bad at all.
Speaker 5 (34:54):
Still in the in the recreational scuba diving world, that's
a lot.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
I can only imagine the pressure on your body hole
and molly.
Speaker 3 (35:05):
But it's fun. I mean, I love it.
Speaker 4 (35:07):
It's every day is a thrill. Every day's something new.
Things happen all the time that like just it keeps
things interesting. And it's just it's one of those jobs.
Like at the end of the day, like you know,
I come home and I kick my boots off and
I just think to myself, like, like what a day
that was, And then going tomorrow and it's it's something different,
(35:28):
something else happens. You know, it's not always good things,
but you know.
Speaker 3 (35:33):
It keeps it keeps my drolling up, So I love it.
Speaker 5 (35:36):
For now, have you seen the Instagram trend or the
TikTok trend right now where boyfriends are telling their girlfriends
that they're getting into underwater diving as a career.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
Now, I did see that.
Speaker 5 (35:50):
What do you think of it?
Speaker 3 (35:52):
It's it's pretty funny. I actually wanted to do one.
Speaker 4 (35:55):
I wanted to like, are you talking about the one
like where you got the job an Excellon mobile down
in the golf and like all their reactions are like no,
like you know, they flip out.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
It's so dangerous. Well, I was thinking about.
Speaker 4 (36:07):
Doing one, but like calling my mom and telling her
because she would just be like, oh cool, like yeah,
we'll have fun. But I'm not a big social media guy.
So it was like I just never got to it.
So I probably never will.
Speaker 2 (36:21):
Your parents worry about you. It's like it's a dangerous job, right,
yeah it is.
Speaker 4 (36:26):
But you know, I just just got to be safe.
It's one of those jobs that you know, you really
have to take serious and you can't cut corners and
you have to do it the right way, and uh,
you know, it's just I just make sure that everything
I do on my end, I do it right and
the way I'm supposed to do it. And then so,
(36:48):
I mean, I can only control so much, but I
just you know, I just have to make sure everything
that I can control, I do it the right way.
Speaker 2 (36:56):
You say that you want your future spouse to be
adventures enough to dive with you. What if you find
a girl that's scared of water? Is as a deal brigger?
Speaker 3 (37:06):
No, I'll talk her into it one day.
Speaker 5 (37:08):
It just start small, start small. I have no concerns
for you, John Henry. You're a good looking man who
can go to any bar or any place and they
say what do you do for a living? You say,
I am an underwater diver, and everybody is going to
be intrigued.
Speaker 1 (37:25):
You have.
Speaker 5 (37:28):
A lot going for you, and we appreciate you coming on.
I wish we could celebrate you because of this next
season of your life and this next job that sounds
super fun and exciting, and you get a smile on
your face when you talk about it, so obviously you're
pumped about it. But you know we will respect that
you can't talk about it now, so please share it
(37:49):
when you can talk about it, so that we can
celebrate you from a distance.
Speaker 4 (37:53):
I'll let everybody know. But yeah, I am super excited
and I can't wait to share it. It's just it's
it's a weird story right now, so I can't, okay,
but when I can, When I can, I will tell
everybody and you know, make it known.
Speaker 2 (38:08):
He's going to build Atlantis.
Speaker 3 (38:10):
I wish, but it's it's just as cool, honestly.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
Like it's gonna be like something in Dubai. Anyway, John Henry,
thank you so much for opening up to us. It
really means a lot sharing this story and well we
hope yeah the very best for you and can't wait
to find out all right.
Speaker 3 (38:30):
Yeah, thank you guys for having me. This was fun.
Speaker 5 (38:33):
Yeah, we'll talk to you soon. Thanks John Henry, see
you all later. That's been John Henry, great guy, a
lot of good things coming in his way. Wish him
and Kat the best clarity on the breakup, which is
good to have because obviously so many of these breakups
leave so many unanswered questions. We got the questions answer
today and so until next time. I've been Ben and.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
I've been Ashley. Bye.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
Follow the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcasts on
iHeartRadio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts,
This is the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast
with iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Hey guys, welcome to the Almost Famous Podcast. Today, we
have a man that you will remember from last season
a Bachelor in Paradise on the show. His name is
John Henry, John Henry. I have a question for you.
Is Henry the last name or is it like a
combined first name.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
It's actually my middle name.
Speaker 4 (00:25):
Okay, So my family, they're kind of old school growing up.
John Henry is like what everybody called me my family,
A lot of my like my hometown friends growing up,
you know, it was always John Henry.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
And then like my sister, she's Kate Marie. My other
sister is Lauren Ann. So I've kind of gone by
John Henry pretty much like my whole life. But then,
I mean, I go by John two. Like, I don't
introduce myself as John Henry. I'll just say John. But
then once they get to know me, it's John Henry.
Speaker 5 (00:57):
And this is one of the worst phenomenons in the
United States. And I'll tell you why. I'm married a
girl from the South and all of her friends have
two first names, and so when I first met her,
it was hard enough to know the one name, then
I have to know the two names, and all of
them are like Anna, Lie, Anna, Kate, Anna, Meredith, like
(01:19):
they all have two names.
Speaker 4 (01:20):
It's hard, yeah, but with a name like John, everybody's John,
so it makes it easy. You know, if someone just
sells John, everybody looks. But then you know, if they
say John Henry, it's like, okay, that's me. So it
just makes it easier. What's your last name, Spurlock?
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Okay, all right, John Henry Spurlock. Well, we wanted to
have you here today, of course to talk about your
experience in Bachelor in Paradise. You are one of the
engaged couples this season, season nine, and it's how do
you feel about the reputation that like season nine ruined
the whole thing because because so many failed relationships that
(02:02):
came from it and that's why we're not getting another paradise.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
It doesn't bother me. I mean, I I don't know.
I just I did it.
Speaker 4 (02:12):
I had fun, found somebody, you know, gave it a shot,
and I'm happy about like my experience.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
You know, I wouldn't change it for anything.
Speaker 4 (02:22):
But as far as the rest of the season goes
and how people view it, I mean, I don't really care.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
It doesn't bother me.
Speaker 5 (02:27):
The interesting thing, I think from your perspective would be
why did so many relationships look like they could work
coming off the show and ended up not working, you know,
a very in a very short time from the show.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
I don't really know.
Speaker 4 (02:47):
It's kind of hard for me to talk about that
because I'm not really too focused on the other relationships.
You know, Obviously, me and Kat we ended up getting engaged,
and I know our story, and I don't really want
to talk about the other couple's stories because you know,
that's I feel like that's kind of for them to
touch on. But you know, as far as me and
(03:10):
Kat go, like, you know, I gave it my all
and we tried it and it didn't work out, but
that's okay.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
And uh, I mean, yeah, you and Kat seems like
an odd couple right off the bat. You seem like
a very salt of the earth, grounded type of guy,
sweet southern and she and I think Kat is hilarious
and I like loved her personality for TV and I
(03:37):
think she has a good heart, stunning, but like, yeah,
you guys are definitely an odd couple. And how did
that work out in your favor, and how did it
ultimately not?
Speaker 4 (03:50):
I mean, yeah, like we couldn't be any more different.
You know, I knew that, she knew that. Everybody else
at the beach, you know, everybody said like we were
probably like the last couple.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
They ever would have imagined getting together.
Speaker 4 (04:04):
Yeah, but like you said, like, I don't know, it
just worked, like because she's you know, she's really vocal.
She's like loud, and she's always all over the place.
And then like I'm a little more grounded, So like,
I don't know, it just it worked like we couldn't
be any more different, but at the same time it fit,
you know.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
So yeah, it's like one of those situations where it's
opposite a tract and that's a good thing for the
shirt short term, but for the long term it often
doesn't work out.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Yeah, you know, like you know that in meme.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
I don't know if it's like a meme, but like
it's like if I order French fries at a restaurant
and they give me tater tots, like you need to
find a girl that's gonna tell the server like he
didn't order, you know, tater tots. So it's like, I'm
not gonna complain. You know, I'll eat the tater tots.
I don't care. But like, you know, Kat's a kind
of girl like she's gonna speak up. She's gonna be like, no,
he didn't order that, he ordered for us.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
That's hilarious. Both Jared and I are not going to
complain about the tator tosts though we're right there.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
I'll eat them. It's not the end of the world.
Speaker 5 (05:12):
But you know, stand up for your man, Ashley.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Wait then then what what you and Jess? Who's going
to tell the waiter that you guys.
Speaker 5 (05:20):
Didn't know about? Not a single soul. But it's an
interesting concept, John Henry, because you know, I'm from Indiana
originally and from an incredible agriculture town, and we have
some very like prominent, really successful farmers. And these farmers
are oftentimes from farming families, you know, third four generation farmers,
(05:44):
and their life is hard, right, wake up at five am,
you close the barn door at eight pm. But you're
you're very wealthy. Typically these farmers are very wealthy. And
we had this thing in town wet It kind of
called it farming princesses, where you'd have the farmers who
are as simple as simple can be. They could ask
for nothing ever, and they're just good doing what they're doing.
(06:07):
But they'd have their wives who would kind of push
them and stretch them to experience the world in a
different way. Right, maybe, Hey, I want to go to
a fancier dinner tonight. So can you throw on your
nice jeans and your nice shirt and your boots and
take me to a fancy dinner. Is that kind of
what you're talking about where it felt like kat might
just be that enough of a difference for you to
(06:27):
push you into a realm that you would never go
into on your own.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Uh.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
Yeah, And you know, that's one of the big things
that really call my attention from the beginning with her,
is like, you know, I want somebody different than me.
I don't want someone exactly like me with the same hobbies.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
You know.
Speaker 4 (06:45):
I like having my hobbies and doing my own thing,
and she has her hobbies and does her own thing,
and I don't know like that. That's that's always kind
of what I liked and like knowing Kad is totally
different than me, Like she can show me a lot
and at the same time, you know, I can show
her a lot. So I like change, I like doing
different things, So like, yeah, I mean that I really
(07:09):
liked the idea of that with her. You know, that
was one of the things that I first noticed and
was like, okay, like, you know, it's kind of what
I'm looking for.
Speaker 5 (07:15):
I think my follow up to that would be what
do you look? I mean, I don't want to skip
too far ahead here, but what are you looking for now?
Now that you've experienced a cat in your life and
seeing kind of that difference, are you now as you
focus on what you're into now in the future, is
it back to kind of comfort and somebody that will
just like ride along with you and you guys can
(07:37):
do what you do or is it still that kind
of more cat style that will push you outside of it?
Speaker 3 (07:44):
Uh? Both.
Speaker 4 (07:46):
I still I still like the idea of having, you know,
somebody that's totally different than me. But it kind of
made me realize too. It's like like the like down
to the core, like you have to be similar, you
have to you know, there's a lot of things that
you have to be similar on. But then like all
the things that don't matter, like that's what I want
(08:06):
to be different, But like when it comes to all
the deep stuff, you know that has to be on track.
Speaker 5 (08:13):
Yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Okay, So when you propose, it was kind of hilarious
because you said, my head is telling me not to
do this, but my heart is telling me to go
for it. To your future self proposing one other day,
do you want both your heart and your head to
be at the same place.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Yeah, I mean obviously.
Speaker 4 (08:37):
But Paradise is such a a not like a normal
way of getting engaged, Like you know, it's such a
short period of time, and going on the show, like
I knew that, Like I knew it was going to
be a lot different than like every day dating. And
(08:57):
like in everyday dating, you know, I think two three
years then I'll be, you know ready.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
But going to.
Speaker 4 (09:04):
Paradise, it's like I know how it works, you know,
I know the end goal, and like in order to
go on the show, I guess you have to be
open to it.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
So I was, you know, in my head.
Speaker 4 (09:18):
Like we got along really well, and you know, things
couldn't have been any better at Paradise, So you know,
it's getting down to the end and I have to
make up a decision, and I was all in but
like it was such a short period of time, So
it's like I was thinking back on like just normal
everyday dating, Like, yeah, it's absolutely insane to get engaged
(09:39):
after just a couple of weeks. But knowing that that,
you know, that's what I signed up for, I had
to be open to it. And uh, you know, I
was leaving the beach and I was thinking myself, well,
I mean, it couldn't go any better with Kat, so
it was like, let's let's just do it, you know,
let's give it a shot.
Speaker 5 (09:56):
You just don't seem like the type of guy to me.
Out of anybody maybe I've ever seen from the show
Chris Souls would be a close second, but you don't
seem like a guy that would ever have any interest
in doing this thing.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
I didn't. I didn't. You're absolutely right.
Speaker 5 (10:15):
So two questions here that you have to answer, probably
in one response, okay, would be why did you do it?
And then how did you get yourself? Because you just
said that you were going onto the beach with the
right intention, like what everybody else there says they're doing.
I believe that you went with the right intention because
I don't believe you to be a man trying to
(10:36):
make up something that's not true, So why did you go?
And then how in the world did you get your
mind in the right place to even do it without
wanting to do it at all?
Speaker 4 (10:50):
So I guess I have to kind of go back
to the Bachelorette because that's where the whole decision came
to do it all.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
And I didn't apply.
Speaker 4 (11:01):
You know, I was floating out on a barge out
in the middle of the ocean and I got a
phone call, and you know, it was one of the
casting producers and she basically told me, like I got
nominated online and they were just like curious if I was,
you know, still single, and if i'd be interested. And
at first I told him no, I was like, absolutely not,
(11:22):
Like do you know, I don't really know for sure.
I think it was my buddy's ext girlfriend at the time. Wow,
So it was a long it was a long time ago. Yeah,
it was a long time ago. And like I told
him no, I was like, because I know, like about
the show. I know, you got doctors and lawyers and
personal trainers and then I work construction, so like, I
(11:44):
have no business being on that show. So at first,
when she first started talking to me. I told him no.
I was like, I'm not going to do this. But
she was like, you know, this isn't a guaranteed that
you're going to be on. She was like, just think
about it. She was like, go through the process, and
you know, if they end up picking you, then you
can make up your mind. And I was like, okay, whatever,
you know, I'll go through it and.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
See what happens. And then I made it to the end.
Speaker 4 (12:08):
You know, they told me that they wanted me to
be on it, and I was like, well, I was like,
now I got to do it, you know.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
Yeah, So I don't know, I decided.
Speaker 4 (12:17):
To do it, and then I kind of I knew
about how it works and everything, so then I had
to change my mindset to be like, okay, so like
this isn't like typical dating.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
I have to be open to how this is all going.
Speaker 4 (12:28):
To work and you know the situation, and so I
just decided to do it. But you know, I'm the
kind of guy like, if I'm going to do something,
I'm going to give it my all. I'm not just
going to half ask it. I'm just you know, I'm
going to give it everything I got and see what happens.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
Okay, So I want to go to the moment where
you and Kat cameras stop rolling. You're at the hotel
in Mexico. You probably get a few days just to
rocks the two of you. What was your vibe, because
it just like everything can change in those days, you
like really know, you're like, oh, is this gonna last
or not. I think in those.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
Days, I don't think it was anything like too crazy,
because like me and Kat, we did have a lot
of conversations, like without cameras, and you know, I think
you get you get a really good idea on what
someone's all about when the cameras are not around. So
I've already had, you know, several moments with Kat where
(13:33):
I got to see, you know, who she really is,
like without all the cameras. So when we're in Mexico
in the hotel afterwards, you know, I already already already knew,
and I was just excited. I was so excited that
the whole thing was over, and like I was just
looking forward, like you know, we're all we're super excited
about the relationship. We were still one hundred percent in
(13:55):
and you know, we started making plans and when we're
going to start seeing each other. So I was really excited,
like it was. It didn't really catch me by just
like surprise. I didn't like see a side of Cat
then that you know, I didn't see before. So I
was I was just very comfortable, and I was I
was ready to, uh, you know, see where things were
gonna go.
Speaker 5 (14:15):
And then things went sideways, right.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
I wouldn't, I don't.
Speaker 4 (14:21):
I mean they they went a little sideways, but nothing
too drastic, Like we didn't have a crazy.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
Breakup story like you know we have. We had a
very healthy relationship for months after filming, and then I
don't know, things didn't go sideways. It's just I started to.
Speaker 4 (14:43):
See our differences and you know, we decided to end up,
you know, ultimately just going our different different ways. But
looking back on the relationship, like we had a beautiful
relationship for months. We did a lot of cool things together,
and like I have a lot of good memory, he said,
I'm truly thankful for so like me and Kat, we're
still cool. We can still talk and you know, there's
(15:05):
no hard feelings. So you know, I don't look at
it as like a fail because I had some great
times with her.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
So you'd say it was mutual.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
It's mutual. It's mutual.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Now I'd say, oh, it's mutual. Now elaborate please.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
All right. Okay, so if you guys want to go
into detail, I guess I can go and do. This
is a long story. You guys got time.
Speaker 5 (15:29):
Yes, I have nothing else going on.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
All right, Where do I start? I guess I have
to start this story ten years ago?
Speaker 5 (15:38):
Oh wow?
Speaker 3 (15:39):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (15:39):
So I got into commercial diving, well about eight years
ago now, and I knew what I was signing up for.
I knew it was going to be a lot of traveling.
It was going to be a lot of long days,
long nights every day, you know, seven days a week.
And I knew it wasn't going to be a very
(16:01):
relationship friendly career. So when I first got into it,
I told myself, I'll do it for ten years, and
then after ten years, I'm going to get out and
I'll find, you know, a little more stable career where
I can stay local and actually like start a relationship.
So anyways, you know, I've been doing my thing, and
(16:21):
then I get the call for the show and I
was like eight years in, and I knew I only
had a couple more years and then I was going
to fully get out of diving and you know, try
to start a relationship and everything.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
But the show like didn't. I didn't plan on the show.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
It just kind of fell in my lap, right, So
I was like, okay, you know, if it, if I
end up meeting somebody, you know, I did eight years.
I didn't do the full ten like I said I
was going to do, which is you know, I'm good
with that. So me and Kat, you know, we meet
at Paradise and we talked about it, and like I
told her, you know, like as of right now, like
my career.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
Is not relationship friendly.
Speaker 4 (17:00):
She knew that, but I was like, it's you know,
my plan is to get out of it anyways, and
you know, do something where it's it's easier, you know
for that.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
Can I stop you right there? Can you tell us
about your day to day? Like I know, so you're
a commercial diving welders, so basically you're like down there
making bridges and stuff, welding underwater, which is like the
most mind boggling thing. I Bridge creation and all that
is like so cool, and I don't know how you
guys do it. But is that what you do.
Speaker 4 (17:31):
Yeah, I mean my job title technically is just a
commercial diver, so like underwater welding, that's just part of
the job, you know, I'm not specifically just like welding
underwater all day every day. So it just depends on
the job. I could be on a bunch of different things.
It could be a ship that sank that we're bringing
back up, or like you said, building bridges.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
Or I don't know. We've done all kinds of crazy things.
But okay, that's that's what I love about it.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
You like living on boats and in hotels and stuff
wherever the job like, wherever they need you pretty much.
Speaker 4 (18:07):
I haven't bounced around a ton, but you know, I've
worked in Virginia Beach and then I went and you know,
I was in Charleston. I've done some stuff up in
New York, and then I went and worked in Germany
for a year, and then I worked in Austria for
a little bit, and then now I'm back in Virginia Beach.
But this is coming to an end. I have, you know,
(18:28):
something lined up. But uh so, yeah, So, I mean
I've kind of bounced around whatever jobs, you know, if
they have something really cool going on, and I don't know,
let's say Sweden, you know, I'll up and go to
Sweden for a while and do that job and then
go to the next one. So it's kind of all
over the place. But like I knew that's what I
signed up for when I got into this career. Okay,
(18:50):
So anyways, like with Kat, you know, we start to
have a relationship and she knows my schedule, she knows, like,
you know, what I was, what I was doing, what
she kind of got involved with. And then I started
it's hard for me to take time off. It really
is hard for me to take time off. And we
(19:12):
started making all these plans, like she first came up
to Virginia and we had a nice little weekend here,
and then I went to Tampa and seeing her, and
then she ended up moving to Asheville, North Carolina.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
Why she took a travel nurse gig.
Speaker 4 (19:28):
So her plans were to go to San Diego, but
she wasn't able to go as soon as she was
hoping to, so she had a several weeks like kind
of just to wait around to figure out what's going
on with San Diego. So she decided to take a
travel nurse gig in Ashville, which was closer to me,
so that we could, you know, be closer to each other.
(19:51):
And so she moved to Ashville, and then I went
to Asheville a couple couple times in seeing her, and
then you know, things were going really well.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
But then you know.
Speaker 4 (20:02):
I'm I'm now so I'm I have this job and
then I get in there this relationship, and then now
it's like, okay, well now I have to start figuring
out what I'm going to do, how I'm going to
make this transition to a career that is going to
be a lot easier for me, like in her to
work with. And he kind of called me by surprise because,
like I said, I originally, you know, I had two
(20:24):
more years and then I was going to make that happen.
But now you know, started this with her and got engaged.
It was like, okay, so now I need to start
doing this now, and uh it just called me by surprise.
So now I'm starting to stress out about how I'm
going to.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
Make this move. I know she wants to go to
San Diego, so.
Speaker 4 (20:42):
Now I'm I'm kind of looking at jobs out in
San Diego, Like do I want to keep diving just
because it's what I do, and I could move there
and die for a little bit at least get me
over there, and then once I'm there, I can figure
something out. And uh so, I don't know, I really
started to get stressed out on how I'm going to
make this work on my end.
Speaker 3 (21:04):
And I think once.
Speaker 4 (21:06):
I really started to get stressed out, I don't know
how do I say this? So I started to have
my doubts right, and I started to think about like
am I fully ready to drop diving? And it started
(21:29):
to worry me because you know, my end goal was
to like, you know, fall in love, find a wife,
and I thought this whole process would be a lot easier,
but it wasn't, and it was really stressful.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
And then it just started to make me think, like
why am I so stressed? Why is this move and
transition so hard for me? Like this should be easy, you.
Speaker 4 (21:53):
Know, like I'm in love, I'm with someone that I
really like. This should be no problem for me to
switch career years and find something else. But that wasn't
the case. So then I started thinking to myself, like,
is this is this really it?
Speaker 3 (22:07):
Like? Is this is this really what?
Speaker 4 (22:09):
I want, and I guess once I started kind of
thinking that, it just kind of started spiraling for me
and everything else. Everything just started to get more stressful.
And then I started to see our differences a lot
more so things just really got hard for me. And
(22:29):
then at the same time, like you know, at this point,
the show's airing, and you know, Kat is just getting
so much hate and it was really hard for her too,
just dealing dealing with that. So now you have this
like she's all she's really stressed out, and she's just
(22:50):
everyone's coming at her on a day to day basis.
And then I'm stressed out trying to make my move,
you know, trying to make this work, figuring out careers,
and then I'm getting stressed and now I'm having doubts,
so I'm trying to It's just it got to a
point where it was just extremely hard for the.
Speaker 3 (23:07):
Both of us.
Speaker 4 (23:08):
And then basically I just I, you know, I called
it quits. I said, I just this doesn't feel right.
I think this should be a lot easier than what
it is, and it just it wasn't the case. So
then I was like, well, why isn't the case, Like,
what's what's wrong, and then I just started thinking to myself,
like maybe this just isn't for me. And then once
I got that in my head, you know, it just
(23:30):
kind of spiraled from there.
Speaker 5 (23:32):
Was she shocked.
Speaker 3 (23:33):
She was shocked.
Speaker 4 (23:34):
I think that uh, you know, it wasn't wasn't really
fair to her because at the time, you know, I
was her you know, I was her fiance. You know,
I'm supposed to be her rock. I'm supposed to be
there for her. And I think the hardest thing for
her was like, you know, so I don't I don't know,
(23:57):
but like I had, you know, a thing about like depression,
and I made a post about it and I had
a walk for depression, and you know, this is kind
of new to me. Well at first started you know,
I started dealing with it like seven eight years ago,
but this was my first relationship that I was in
where I dealt with depression. So I'm getting stressed out
(24:19):
about everything. And then you know, I definitely got in
like a loaf from it. And then now Kat, you know,
she's just she she really needed that support for me.
But now I got all this all this anxiety and
I'm dealing with depression and then I shut down, So
I definitely wasn't there for her like I should have been.
(24:42):
So I think that was the hardest thing for her,
was like you know the fact that like I'm supposed
to be her guy, I'm supposed to be there for her,
and I was struggling with that because of all the
issues that I was dealing with myself. So that was
that was the hardest thing for her, I think for sure.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
And it was all happening while the show was airing,
and then you guys basically broke up like the last
week that it was airing.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
Yeah, we actually broke up right before the finale.
Speaker 5 (25:12):
Actually, I'm curious, though, would you say, I mean you
were engaged from the show? Is Kat to date the
greatest love that you've had?
Speaker 4 (25:23):
Kat is amazing? You know, she really is something special,
Like she's not my longest relationship, but but cat Cat's
Cat's a catch. Like you know, I'll tell you, Like,
she she definitely did her part, you know, because like.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
Distance is hard, distance is hard for everybody. But she did.
Speaker 4 (25:49):
You know, she when she loves you know, she gives
it her all. And uh, she did everything that she
needed to do and then some in order to try
to make our relationship work. And uh, you know even
after even after we ended up breaking up, you know
it was it was hard at first for sure, but
we definitely kept in touch and like, you know, dealing
(26:11):
with all my depression stuff. Like she's reached out several times,
like she's always checking in. Uh, she's sent me a
lot of podcasts and stuff to listen to and like
some books and stuff to read just to help, and
like she's been nothing but supportive, you know, after.
Speaker 3 (26:25):
The breakup, and so like she's Cat's Cat's a good one.
Speaker 4 (26:31):
You know, it didn't work out with us, but someone's
definitely going to be very lucky.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
To have her.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
Would you say that you were in love with her?
Speaker 3 (26:39):
Or maybe absolutely? Yeah, yeah I would, I would.
Speaker 5 (26:54):
Thanks for sharing all that, I mean, it makes things
make more sense too. And you are taking a lot
of the ownership and in this relationship and why it
ended the way it did and I and all and
it all makes sense. Like none of this is nobody's
hearing any of this and be like what are you
talking about? Longest relationships are easy and you know mental
health struggles, Yeah, you just move on. No, those are
(27:15):
real things that were going on and The hope here
is that you know your future is bright, and we
know cats will be bright, and that things you know,
new loves will come into your life. But today your
relationship the only It's funny, one of the only markets
we have people are still getting along is social media.
(27:36):
And you still follow Cat on social media, but we
noticed that Cat doesn't follow you any longer, which made
us think that there was, you know, a more of
a divide here than what we understood it to be.
Can you speak to that a little bit?
Speaker 4 (27:51):
Yeah, So, like I said, we kept in touch for
a while even after the breakup, and she moved to
Sandy because that was her dream, that's what she wanted
to do. So she made that happen. And you know,
she would always call me and show me all the
sunsets and stuff, and she was talking about her new
(28:12):
place and how excited she was and how much she
was loving it. And then you know, at the end
of the day, I'm the one who cut it off
with her, and we stayed civil, we stayed friends, and
I think it was definitely it was hard for her
because it's not what she wanted. She was still fully invested.
She wanted to make you know, make it last and
(28:33):
do everything that she could and try.
Speaker 3 (28:35):
To make it work.
Speaker 4 (28:36):
But you know, I just started to see our differences
and I was just really struggling with you know, making
it work on my end. So when I cut it off,
I mean, she's doing great. She's living her life in
San Diego. She's a nurse practitioner now, she's got a
really good job. She's doing her own thing, having a blast,
(28:57):
and like I'm you know, I'm still working on my
stuff here. I got a lot to you know, to
figure out on my end. But it's just it became
clear to me that I think this was the right decision.
But when it comes to, you know, us talking, we
don't really talk much anymore. Now we're civil. If she
(29:18):
called me, I'd be there in a heartbeat if she
you know, if I needed her, I know she'd answer
the phone and she'd do anything she couldn't help. But
from like a relationship standpoint, I think, you know, after
a little while, she told me, she was like, I
don't think we should talk anymore because it's just it's difficult,
and I think she did it just to kind of
(29:38):
focus on herself and try to move on. She said,
just keeping in touch and always talking all the time.
It just wasn't helping her. So she made the decision
we just weren't gonna you know, really talk and keep
in touch like we're civil we're friends, but also it
was time for us just to totally separate. Yeah, so
(29:59):
I she unfollowed me, but you know, it doesn't bother me.
But I mean I still follow her because I still, like,
you know, seeing what she's doing and everything that, you know, all.
Speaker 3 (30:09):
Her goals that she always talked about. It's nice. It's
nice for me to see you know, her getting everything
done that she wanted to get done. So that's why
I still follow her, just because I'm I'm proud of her.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
That's sweet. How's your mental health now doing good?
Speaker 4 (30:26):
I'm getting definitely getting a lot better. But you know,
just like I said, being in a relationship while dealing
with it, this was my first time, so it definitely
opened my eyes to a lot of things that I.
Speaker 3 (30:40):
Didn't really know before that.
Speaker 4 (30:41):
It took me getting in a relationship to realize, like
I got some things that I got to get figured out.
But after getting rid of, you know, getting out of
that relationship, and like I'm done trying to figure out,
you know, trying to make everything happen and move in
such a short period of time. You know, I'm just
back on a normal I'm going to make it happen
when it's meant to you know, meant to be, and
(31:04):
it's just way less weight off my shoulders. I just,
you know, I can. I can just make this transition
like I originally thought, you know, without it being so stressful.
Speaker 5 (31:15):
Are you going to continue to dive then?
Speaker 4 (31:19):
I mean for now, because yeah, now I'm back to
being single, and you know, I I definitely I don't
see myself getting into another relationship for a little while.
Like I said, I've got some things that you've got
to get figured out.
Speaker 3 (31:31):
But I'm getting there. You know, I'm definitely getting better.
Speaker 4 (31:35):
But you know, I'm just gonna get myself right because
I know I hurt Cat, and you know that's the
last thing I want to do is.
Speaker 3 (31:44):
Hurt somebody else.
Speaker 4 (31:45):
So before I get into another relationship, I have to
make sure that you know I'm mentally ready for it.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (31:53):
Well, since so you haven't been out there dating, you're
kind of focused on yourself.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
Not really, No, I just I took new job.
Speaker 4 (32:02):
I can't really speak on it right now, but I
am making a move.
Speaker 3 (32:08):
I'm really excited. It's gonna be super good for me.
Speaker 4 (32:11):
It's gonna be a super fun job that I'm going
to and uh yeah, so I'm just gonna I'm gonna
go and then I'm gonna enjoy this for my last
couple of years and then you know, I'll be ready
to figure out my next move after that. But for now,
this was something that I couldn't pass up and I'm
super excited about it.
Speaker 5 (32:30):
We do as a favor and at least share on
social media what this new job is. In a week,
then when you can't talk about it, so everybody can.
Speaker 3 (32:37):
I will.
Speaker 4 (32:37):
It's it's still diving, okay. I'm just building something really
cool and a really cool location.
Speaker 5 (32:45):
Oh, super fun. Good for you, man, that's awesome. Now,
speaking of diving, total change is subject this week on
National News, the largest tagged great white was found on
the shelf of Jupiter, Florida. There was a free diver
and people are down there filming the free diver, and
(33:07):
out from the depths of the ocean came the biggest
great white I've ever seen in my life. Did you
see this? Picture yet No, I actually have not. Okay,
you got to look at it. And then the second
question is have you had anything similar happen to you?
Have you had any massive sharks come up while you've
been diving.
Speaker 4 (33:27):
I was actually cutting a big steel pipe underwater, and
it's a pretty wild concept of how we cut steel
underwater because we actually cut it with like electricity and fire,
but underwater. Yeah, so it's a pretty wild you know,
you say, like cutting stuff with fire underwater, Like people think,
(33:47):
like how does that even work?
Speaker 3 (33:48):
But it's like it does because of electricity. But so anyways,
I'm down there and uh.
Speaker 4 (33:54):
It's pitch black, it's muddy, I can't see anything, and
I'm just cutting this pipe and then and all of
a sudden, something just smokes me from my back and
it just throws me like eight feet and h It
was in the area where there's you know, there's a
lot of shark all the time, and you know, just
with how how it hit me, how hard it hit me,
(34:17):
and like I could tell like this thing's huge, whatever
it is, it is way bigger than me.
Speaker 3 (34:21):
But I you know, I'm.
Speaker 4 (34:23):
Cutting with fire, so like this thing hits me and
I just turn around. I get up and I can't
see anything, but I point this thing at him and
I just start shooting fireworks at him. And he didn't
come back, but you know, it was it was there,
but uh, after a little while, it just it didn't
come back.
Speaker 3 (34:40):
So I just had to go back to work.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
How many feet deep do you go?
Speaker 3 (34:43):
Furthest The deepest I've been is one hundred and seventy
five feet rap, which actually, you know, in the diving
world is actually not even that bad at all.
Speaker 5 (34:54):
Still in the in the recreational scuba diving world, that's
a lot.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
I can only imagine the pressure on your body hole
and molly.
Speaker 3 (35:05):
But it's fun. I mean, I love it.
Speaker 4 (35:07):
It's every day is a thrill. Every day's something new.
Things happen all the time that like just it keeps
things interesting. And it's just it's one of those jobs.
Like at the end of the day, like you know,
I come home and I kick my boots off and
I just think to myself, like, like what a day
that was, And then going tomorrow and it's it's something different,
(35:28):
something else happens. You know, it's not always good things,
but you know.
Speaker 3 (35:33):
It keeps it keeps my drolling up, So I love it.
Speaker 5 (35:36):
For now, have you seen the Instagram trend or the
TikTok trend right now where boyfriends are telling their girlfriends
that they're getting into underwater diving as a career.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
Now, I did see that.
Speaker 5 (35:50):
What do you think of it?
Speaker 3 (35:52):
It's it's pretty funny. I actually wanted to do one.
Speaker 4 (35:55):
I wanted to like, are you talking about the one
like where you got the job an Excellon mobile down
in the golf and like all their reactions are like no,
like you know, they flip out.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
It's so dangerous. Well, I was thinking about.
Speaker 4 (36:07):
Doing one, but like calling my mom and telling her
because she would just be like, oh cool, like yeah,
we'll have fun. But I'm not a big social media guy.
So it was like I just never got to it.
So I probably never will.
Speaker 2 (36:21):
Your parents worry about you. It's like it's a dangerous job, right,
yeah it is.
Speaker 4 (36:26):
But you know, I just just got to be safe.
It's one of those jobs that you know, you really
have to take serious and you can't cut corners and
you have to do it the right way, and uh,
you know, it's just I just make sure that everything
I do on my end, I do it right and
the way I'm supposed to do it. And then so,
(36:48):
I mean, I can only control so much, but I
just you know, I just have to make sure everything
that I can control, I do it the right way.
Speaker 2 (36:56):
You say that you want your future spouse to be
adventures enough to dive with you. What if you find
a girl that's scared of water? Is as a deal brigger?
Speaker 3 (37:06):
No, I'll talk her into it one day.
Speaker 5 (37:08):
It just start small, start small. I have no concerns
for you, John Henry. You're a good looking man who
can go to any bar or any place and they
say what do you do for a living? You say,
I am an underwater diver, and everybody is going to
be intrigued.
Speaker 1 (37:25):
You have.
Speaker 5 (37:28):
A lot going for you, and we appreciate you coming on.
I wish we could celebrate you because of this next
season of your life and this next job that sounds
super fun and exciting, and you get a smile on
your face when you talk about it, so obviously you're
pumped about it. But you know we will respect that
you can't talk about it now, so please share it
(37:49):
when you can talk about it, so that we can
celebrate you from a distance.
Speaker 4 (37:53):
I'll let everybody know. But yeah, I am super excited
and I can't wait to share it. It's just it's
it's a weird story right now, so I can't, okay,
but when I can, When I can, I will tell
everybody and you know, make it known.
Speaker 2 (38:08):
He's going to build Atlantis.
Speaker 3 (38:10):
I wish, but it's it's just as cool, honestly.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
Like it's gonna be like something in Dubai. Anyway, John Henry,
thank you so much for opening up to us. It
really means a lot sharing this story and well we
hope yeah the very best for you and can't wait
to find out all right.
Speaker 3 (38:30):
Yeah, thank you guys for having me. This was fun.
Speaker 5 (38:33):
Yeah, we'll talk to you soon. Thanks John Henry, see
you all later. That's been John Henry, great guy, a
lot of good things coming in his way. Wish him
and Kat the best clarity on the breakup, which is
good to have because obviously so many of these breakups
leave so many unanswered questions. We got the questions answer
today and so until next time. I've been Ben and.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
I've been Ashley. Bye.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
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