May 17, 2024 • 8 mins
Weird news stories from around the world… with a healthy dose of lasers added in. Does it make sense? No not really, but it doesn’t HAVE TO… it’s “Laser Stories”!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
It's the segment that's giving back to the community with
an event.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
For all ages called the obg y n Family Fun Fest.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Okay, they grease you up when you arrive, then have
the kids run through two large flaps of the giant
inflatable bouncy canal, and then at the very end, every
child six and under gets a free pair of birthing tongs.
And you didn't think Laser Stories was doing anything for
(00:34):
the people, You'd be wrong.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
Those are helpful when you barbecue as well.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
That's right, it's Laser Stories, the segment where we read
weird news stories around the globe, just like everyone else does,
except we've got a laser Yeah, and those other Keegel
cowards just first Laser Stories out of the Big Apple.
A new art installation called The Portal opened in New
York last week.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
That's interesting you call it that after your It's.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
A different than the own e g y N Family
Fun I'm gonna show my host a picture of it
right now, so cool, so you can see it on
our instant stories Afroke and Jeffrey. It does look pretty cool.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
It's amazing.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Each portal shows a live feed of the other city.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
Yeah, it's like a huge, like circular cement thing with
a video screen in the middle.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Yea, or like a portal if you will. Ye, you've
ever seen a portal, That's what it looks like.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Sometimes they look like black holes as well, Jess.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Yeah, I know you're all just like waving at each other,
but it's so crazy.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Less than a weekend, though, they had to temporarily shut
it down after too many people on both sides were
flashing and mooning each other.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
I just said happy hugs, but you didn't say wave
with one. Yes, this is why we can't have nice things.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Folks have also been giving each other the finger, blinding
on the portal and holding up inappropriate photo.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Hey, nobody got tempting.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Dublin turned theirs off this week so designers could add
tech that filters out images on your phone if you
hold it up. It was also supposed to be running
twenty four to seven, but sounds like they might start
turning it off at night.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
Yeah, that's probably a good choice.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Yeah, nothing happens at like three am.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
You sound like my grandmother.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
As of right now, the portal is back up and running,
with security.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Standing close by.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
The artists behind it. Are hoping to add more of
them to other cities around the world soon.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
So it was supposed to be a look at kindness,
and it kind of was more a look at where
we're at, kind of look.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
At society full the waist.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
This next laser story is out of Saskatoon, Canada. Cool
An eighteen year old named Mason Prima was in the
drive through line at McDonald's minding his own business.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
As his vehicle inched around the order screen, he pulled
out his phone to open the McDonald's app.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Okay, and that's when the cops showed up.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
By unfortune for Mason, he happened to be in line
right in front of a motorcycle cop. So the officer
got off his bike and approached his window, and Mason
showed him that he was just loading up the code
to get the free meal on his McDonald's Appeah.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
He thought that would be the end of it, but
it wasn't.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Mason was given a five hundred and eighty dollars ticket
for distracted driving.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Angry, Mason told the officer that he needed the app
to complete his order and it's the first thing McDonald's
staff asks you for when you.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
Get there and he's not driving, He's like, it's like
sitting with a little bit of tiny movement.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
That's what he told the cop.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
That his foot wasn't on the gas or to break
his car was barely rolling, but that all fell.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
On deaf ears.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Mason said he will definitely be parking first from now
on because that was the most expensive McDonald's meal he
has ever had.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
Some Way, how on a motorcycle are you going to
get drive through?
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Like?
Speaker 3 (03:58):
How are you gonna eat it in the car? You're
on a motorcycle.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
He's the one we should give a ticket to.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Yeah, next laser stories out of Food News. Every now
and then a fast food join in fringes in another
brand's territory.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
It's like gang Wars. You can't do that.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
It's like back in the eighties when McDonald's briefly added
mcpizza No did not work out. So doubtful this will
fare any better because Pizza Hut has just announced that
they're adding burgers. Come on, they're called cheeseburger melts. Brooke,
(04:35):
I'm showing you a picture. How would you describe what
you're seeing in this?
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Describe?
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Well, it looks like a.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
But like a very unhealthy look.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
Yeah, but we're not going to Pizza Hut for health.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Jeff, get out of here with that business. Pizza Hut
describes it as a.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Parmesan thin crusted melt which is folded and loaded with
beef apple with smoked bacon, onions, ozzarella, and cheddar.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Tasty. It actually looks really good.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
They're embracing the fact that they don't come with a
traditional bun, saying quote, goodbye the soggy burger bun deliveries. Okay,
hello grease mom. It also comes with quote the world's
best burger dipping sauce on the side, which starts at
six dollars and ninety nine cents sauces.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
No, the whole thing. Yeah, like, where's inflation?
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Let's go to your next laser story. Out of the
update of the polls, two thousand Americans were asked which
celebrity they would like to see run for president.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Interesting game now.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Yeah, Surprisingly The Rock did not come in at number one.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
Though here yeah he's fallen man.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Here's the top ten list that they came out with
numbers ten through eight, where a basically three way tie
between Mark Cuban, Elon Musk and Gates Kabaragoya.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
I mean I thought he's going to be more fun
celebrities ner rule, so I wanted Kevin Hart. Number seven
is Matthew mcconaughan, right right there, the hot guy.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
Can you imagine a shirtless president?
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Just oh yeah, the time we still have.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
The tie on. Number six, America would love to see
Oprah run for president. Number five George Clooney. Ten percent
of people, which shockingly were all women over fifty, love
to see him in the White House.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
See I would vote his wife in before him.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
She's a smart one.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Number four Clint Eastwood.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Oh, I can't get that.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
We need someone older running.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
He's still around by the time this segmentaries. Number three
Tom Hanks.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Come on, just Tom Hanks with his little typewriter.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
He loves that typewriter.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
I'm already making my sign for the convention. Run Forrest run.
Number two is Dwayne the Rock Johnson thirteen. They could
smell what the Rock is cooking for president. But America's
number one choice for the celebrity they want to see
run for the presidency is Denzel Washington.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
Why he's so sexy, he'd be like sexiest.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
President, sexier than the current president. Good luck.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
And he seems like he's got it together. Why why No,
Like he talks and you're like.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Oh, what does I guess heveryone listens.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Whopping fifteen percent said yes to Denzel. But I do
think we have to finish up by telling everyone who
got honorable mention, who's a Oh, okay, mister slow and
steady wins the race?
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Super slow, super stiff. Okay, that's what we need in
the Oval office. That's how Mean Blazer Stories has come
to an end for the day. We'll do it again,
same time on Monday.
It's the segment that's giving back to the community with
an event.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
For all ages called the obg y n Family Fun Fest.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Okay, they grease you up when you arrive, then have
the kids run through two large flaps of the giant
inflatable bouncy canal, and then at the very end, every
child six and under gets a free pair of birthing tongs.
And you didn't think Laser Stories was doing anything for
(00:34):
the people, You'd be wrong.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
Those are helpful when you barbecue as well.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
That's right, it's Laser Stories, the segment where we read
weird news stories around the globe, just like everyone else does,
except we've got a laser Yeah, and those other Keegel
cowards just first Laser Stories out of the Big Apple.
A new art installation called The Portal opened in New
York last week.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
That's interesting you call it that after your It's.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
A different than the own e g y N Family
Fun I'm gonna show my host a picture of it
right now, so cool, so you can see it on
our instant stories Afroke and Jeffrey. It does look pretty cool.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
It's amazing.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Each portal shows a live feed of the other city.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
Yeah, it's like a huge, like circular cement thing with
a video screen in the middle.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Yea, or like a portal if you will. Ye, you've
ever seen a portal, That's what it looks like.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Sometimes they look like black holes as well, Jess.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Yeah, I know you're all just like waving at each other,
but it's so crazy.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Less than a weekend, though, they had to temporarily shut
it down after too many people on both sides were
flashing and mooning each other.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
I just said happy hugs, but you didn't say wave
with one. Yes, this is why we can't have nice things.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Folks have also been giving each other the finger, blinding
on the portal and holding up inappropriate photo.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Hey, nobody got tempting.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Dublin turned theirs off this week so designers could add
tech that filters out images on your phone if you
hold it up. It was also supposed to be running
twenty four to seven, but sounds like they might start
turning it off at night.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
Yeah, that's probably a good choice.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Yeah, nothing happens at like three am.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
You sound like my grandmother.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
As of right now, the portal is back up and running,
with security.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Standing close by.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
The artists behind it. Are hoping to add more of
them to other cities around the world soon.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
So it was supposed to be a look at kindness,
and it kind of was more a look at where
we're at, kind of look.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
At society full the waist.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
This next laser story is out of Saskatoon, Canada. Cool
An eighteen year old named Mason Prima was in the
drive through line at McDonald's minding his own business.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
As his vehicle inched around the order screen, he pulled
out his phone to open the McDonald's app.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Okay, and that's when the cops showed up.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
By unfortune for Mason, he happened to be in line
right in front of a motorcycle cop. So the officer
got off his bike and approached his window, and Mason
showed him that he was just loading up the code
to get the free meal on his McDonald's Appeah.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
He thought that would be the end of it, but
it wasn't.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Mason was given a five hundred and eighty dollars ticket
for distracted driving.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Angry, Mason told the officer that he needed the app
to complete his order and it's the first thing McDonald's
staff asks you for when you.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
Get there and he's not driving, He's like, it's like
sitting with a little bit of tiny movement.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
That's what he told the cop.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
That his foot wasn't on the gas or to break
his car was barely rolling, but that all fell.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
On deaf ears.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Mason said he will definitely be parking first from now
on because that was the most expensive McDonald's meal he
has ever had.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
Some Way, how on a motorcycle are you going to
get drive through?
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Like?
Speaker 3 (03:58):
How are you gonna eat it in the car? You're
on a motorcycle.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
He's the one we should give a ticket to.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Yeah, next laser stories out of Food News. Every now
and then a fast food join in fringes in another
brand's territory.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
It's like gang Wars. You can't do that.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
It's like back in the eighties when McDonald's briefly added
mcpizza No did not work out. So doubtful this will
fare any better because Pizza Hut has just announced that
they're adding burgers. Come on, they're called cheeseburger melts. Brooke,
(04:35):
I'm showing you a picture. How would you describe what
you're seeing in this?
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Describe?
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Well, it looks like a.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
But like a very unhealthy look.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
Yeah, but we're not going to Pizza Hut for health.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Jeff, get out of here with that business. Pizza Hut
describes it as a.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Parmesan thin crusted melt which is folded and loaded with
beef apple with smoked bacon, onions, ozzarella, and cheddar.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Tasty. It actually looks really good.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
They're embracing the fact that they don't come with a
traditional bun, saying quote, goodbye the soggy burger bun deliveries. Okay,
hello grease mom. It also comes with quote the world's
best burger dipping sauce on the side, which starts at
six dollars and ninety nine cents sauces.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
No, the whole thing. Yeah, like, where's inflation?
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Let's go to your next laser story. Out of the
update of the polls, two thousand Americans were asked which
celebrity they would like to see run for president.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Interesting game now.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Yeah, Surprisingly The Rock did not come in at number one.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
Though here yeah he's fallen man.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Here's the top ten list that they came out with
numbers ten through eight, where a basically three way tie
between Mark Cuban, Elon Musk and Gates Kabaragoya.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
I mean I thought he's going to be more fun
celebrities ner rule, so I wanted Kevin Hart. Number seven
is Matthew mcconaughan, right right there, the hot guy.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
Can you imagine a shirtless president?
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Just oh yeah, the time we still have.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
The tie on. Number six, America would love to see
Oprah run for president. Number five George Clooney. Ten percent
of people, which shockingly were all women over fifty, love
to see him in the White House.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
See I would vote his wife in before him.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
She's a smart one.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Number four Clint Eastwood.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Oh, I can't get that.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
We need someone older running.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
He's still around by the time this segmentaries. Number three
Tom Hanks.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Come on, just Tom Hanks with his little typewriter.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
He loves that typewriter.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
I'm already making my sign for the convention. Run Forrest run.
Number two is Dwayne the Rock Johnson thirteen. They could
smell what the Rock is cooking for president. But America's
number one choice for the celebrity they want to see
run for the presidency is Denzel Washington.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
Why he's so sexy, he'd be like sexiest.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
President, sexier than the current president. Good luck.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
And he seems like he's got it together. Why why No,
Like he talks and you're like.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Oh, what does I guess heveryone listens.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Whopping fifteen percent said yes to Denzel. But I do
think we have to finish up by telling everyone who
got honorable mention, who's a Oh, okay, mister slow and
steady wins the race?
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Super slow, super stiff. Okay, that's what we need in
the Oval office. That's how Mean Blazer Stories has come
to an end for the day. We'll do it again,
same time on Monday.
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