December 7, 2023 • 23 mins
The holidays are here and Amara keeps it real on what her Christmases were like being raised by a single mom and what she’s doing, now, as a single mother to her twin daughters.
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome guys Gherrico, Grico, Benilo and Minilo Mihinti. I am
a girl Marra and you're listening to Exactly Amada, a
production of iHeart. Thank you so much for tuning in,
for following, for supporting.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
For still rocking with me after so so long.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast on your favorite
podcast platform, rate us five stars, and leave us a review,
Loka saying that you have to say, I am grateful
for your review.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Okay, so hopefully you'll say something good.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
By the way, Also head over to the YouTube where
you can also watch or listen to the podcast by
searching for micro through that podcast and clicking on exactly
Amada so you can hear some of those episodes you
missed out on. Today, I want to talk about Christmas
memories and how you know how I want to make.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Christmas special for my daughters.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
I want to talk about Christmas, what it means to me,
what I wanted to mean for my girls, how having
my daughters have changed my perspective on Christmas. How you
know family, what family means to me and during Christmas times.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
And I also want to know about your experiences.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Please let me know, how has Christmas been for you
throughout these years? What would you like to do that
you haven't done? What are the best memories the worst memories?
If you guys have any like special routines, uh that
you guys do?
Speaker 2 (01:34):
I want to know.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Also, every different Latino culture we celebrate Christmas differently, and
we all have our own thing, right, because I know
that Puerto Ricans have the au and their casala, that
good stuff. You know, in La Republicamnicana we've been eating
platinos all the time, that mesa.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
We have our traditions, right.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
They go knocking on your door and they come and
they sing like it's a very it's a very Caribbeanish energy.
There's people over social media planning their decorations, shame what
they're gonna be doing for the holidays, and the stories.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
You know.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
I love going to social media and watching the happiness
that people feel during the Christmas season. I truly love that.
And in the Hispanic culture, Christmas is a really big deal.
It's like it's a big thing, and we even celebrate
the Three Kings the day in January and for most
Latin homes that's the day that the kids you know,
(02:31):
get their presence, which is different from the American culture.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Anyways, with that being said, I really just want to
talk about my experience. Okay. I know this is a
beautiful thing.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
I know that I see on social media and everybody's
loving the Christmas spirit ioo im.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
But I am the grin of Christmas? Is it just me?
I'm sorry, I just come't gay. I don't feel it.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
I don't mean I think I'm gonna I'm gonna take
it all the way back until my my my traumas,
my childhood traumas. So during the holidays for the most part,
my mom as a single mom, as an immigrant in
this country and us not having any family here. My
mom was always working. I guess that's where I got
my you know, being a workaholic from. My mom was
(03:15):
always working during the holidays, and she never really celebrated
Christmas with me. I was always home by myself. I
always knew to lock the door, don't open the door
for anybody, you know, unless I tell you it was
me or whatever. My mom would sometimes, you know, let
me go to her friends' houses and stuff like that
so that I could spend Christmas with their family. Because
she had to work, or in many occasions, my mom would.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
End up taking me to her job.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
And because my mom was a cook, I would end
up having to you know, sit down and not you
know a little acta or a little table inside the kitchen
hot as hell while my mom was cooking, you know,
and just cooking. And because my mom was a cook,
and she would cook for all these you know, different
activities for like, for example, Christmas, those people that didn't
(04:03):
want to cook, they.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Would hire you know, where my mom used to work.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
At and then they would do a call me up
or leave it like by the pound.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
So she was cooking for hours and hours and days.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
And I just remember that my holidays really growing up
was my mom working.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
So I kind of hated it because I hated.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Seeing how everybody got to spend their family time, you
know and Christmas together. They used to you know, play
Domino and it was just the cokeuitha and everybody. Like
I loved seeing other people do it. I just hate
that I didn't have that myself. So I guess it
growing up, I just grew up like being the Grinch,
like I hate this holiday. And not to mentor the
(04:44):
fact that now as an adult and even growing up
after I understood what Christmas was about. Yeah, it's beautiful
that you have all your family together and all this,
but it's also kind of trash because it's a whole
bunch of hypocrites. It's a whole bunch of the family
who's being a hypocrite. You haven't been around and God
knows how long, you know, you haven't called your tea,
(05:06):
your theo.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
You're away and God.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Knows how long, and all of a sudden, once a year,
you want to show them all this love and affection,
how much you love, and then you want to come
with your phony ass gifts and all this stuff that
you know you really don't mean. I can't generalize and
say it's everyone. No, there's some families that are actually
really tight. There's some families that are actually very close
(05:28):
and they do have a real bond like that. But
for the most part, when you do these big Christmas
parties and your family comes together, I just hate the phoniness.
I hate the I ain't kid, Oh my god, you're
so big, or you're so curious, Oh you look like this.
Knowing that in those parties ekwon no machi me i
(05:52):
knowing that in those parties is when people gossip the most.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
You're looking at.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Your uncle, you're looking at your aunt, you're looking at
your niece, you're looking at your You're looking at all
these people, like showing them all this up and affection.
But within two point zero seconds, you're gonna turn around
and you're gonna tell another family member some gossip about
them or some I don't know, you're gonna talk about
how they look, or how fat they've got in, or
(06:16):
how her hair looks, trash or whatever.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Is it me? I don't know, Maybe it's me.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Maybe I'm the one who hasn't lived good Christmas experiences, and.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
I don't know. I'm really really doing my best.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
To change that now as an adult, now, as a mother,
and even now I see how I'm suffering because my
daughters are only they're about to be two years old,
and I have no Christmas decorations in my house. I
know that they probably shouldn't, but then I feel like
they don't even know what the hell is going on.
So why do I have to do it? Not to
(06:51):
mention the fact that it's such a like this is
a business. Christmas is a business. You're out here spending
all your money that you wouldn't spend through Friday. But
you're gonna spend all this money buying all these people
that you know you really don't give a damn about gifts.
You went on the you went on the Amazon, you
went on the on the Black Friday, and you bought
(07:13):
as many cheap little things that you can get, just
so that you don't feel guilty that you didn't give
a present. I'm not saying everybody. I'm just talking about
the experiences I have seen and lived, and you know
I'm not lying, So I don't know. I just feel
like you spend so much money buying this Christmas tree,
and not just a Christmas tree. Now you have to
(07:33):
spend all this money buying bolitas and stuff, all these
little balls to put on the tree. I remember when
I was when I first got pregnant, my mom put
a Christmas tree up.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
It was the most beautiful Christmas tree I've ever seen.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
She didn't pink, and my mom had never in the
history of my life as long as I can remember,
ever ever, ever bought a Christmas tree. When I told
her I was pregnant, she was like, oh my god,
oh this is the best Christmas she put the Christmas
tree and let me tell you something, it wasn't until
like the other day.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Then Mommy put down the Christmas tree.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Like the Christmas tree was up during summer, during a ball.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Like the whole two years the.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Christmas tree was up, and whenever she got tired of it,
she would just come and add more different color balls.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
I'm like, bro, what is going on? You do know
you're only.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Supposed to have this Christmas tree up to like January
or something like that, right, which, by the way, when
are you supposed to put the Christmas tree up?
Speaker 2 (08:26):
And when are you supposed to take it down?
Speaker 1 (08:35):
And don't say, on top of that, every year you
have to change the color of the balls and the
cutor of the decoration.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Who's paying for all of this? So you're doing all
of this for who? For yourself?
Speaker 1 (08:45):
No?
Speaker 2 (08:45):
No, no, no, no, that seems like too much work. Do
I have problems? I the Omeo?
Speaker 1 (08:50):
I don't want to be the Grinch. But okay, I
don't get it. I don't get it. I don't understand.
Oh my god, my mom bought this Christmas Santa Claus
Ruh with the bathroom toilet seat covers with the with
the all the toilet accessories and the Christmas I.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Said, ma'am, ma'am, don't do it. That is too much.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
I understand you want to fill in the spirit, but
can you spill the spirit within yourself because this looks terrible,
but it's supposed to bring people joy.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Now I am trying to be a better person. I'm
trying to be a better person for my daughters.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
I want to take them to the you know here
in Miami they call it Centers and Centa's Forest where
it's like a big you know park, you know, Christmas
related and inspired take the girls there to enjoy that.
I think that taking family pictures is so important. I
feel that we've lost the essence of taking pictures. I
love going back into the albums with the real pictures,
even if they look if they look you know, crunchy
(09:47):
and the color is fading. I love to see the
original footage with no filter, with none of that. I
love taking family pictures, and not only that, but printing them.
I think is so important that this year I want
to make it my mis to take pictures, print them
out and do an album because later on those are
the real memories you have. If God forbid your phone,
(10:08):
your your iCloud, your Android r whatever, something would have
happened in the system and the internet world, and all
of it disappears and e rases. All your memories, everything
you've ever accomplished, everything you've ever been or done completely
will be deleted and gone. So that's why I think
it's so important. That's what really matters to me this
year is to print out family pictures of us spending
(10:31):
time together.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
With their I mean I put a hand from me,
meaning as with their with my mom.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
I want them to have pictures with their grandmother and
print them out and have them on an album, and
later on when they're like fifteen sixteen, they can go
back and actually see those pictures. Those are real gifts
to me, Those are real memories to me. You know
that really matters to me. Christmas For the most part,
(10:57):
I spend it home, no adult with my mom or
by myself because I'm always working and it's not really
like a thing for me. It's just another day in life.
You also have to understand my point of view. I
didn't grow up with any family, just with my mom
and the family. Essence of what Christmas is was never
(11:17):
something I grew up learning or understanding, so it hasn't
been a thing for me. But I definitely wanted to
be a thing for my daughters. I want them to
have the fantasy and the you know, all those nice
the childhood memories of Santa Claus and you know, the
cookie next to the Christmas tree and all those things
I've seen other cultures do. I want to be able
(11:40):
to do that for them. Even though, like I said before,
it's never been a thing for me.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
I don't want to.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Put my childhood traumas you know, on my children. I
want them to create their own and I want to
do the best that I can to make sure that
they enjoy these holidays because eventually they'll go to school,
they'll have friends too, and they'll see, you know, what
it's suppose to look like, what it's supposed to be.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
I never want them to feel like in my household,
we don't do that. We don't have that.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
So I'm gonna do my best to involve them in there.
You know, I know that my mother as well, She
is doing her best to make.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
Sure that the girls feel the Christmas spirit. Like I said,
for me, this is a business.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Christmas is a business for you to spend your money,
for you to spend as much as you can, not
only in your house decre but buying dinner food.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
This that Christmas is such a good time for most business.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Now let me ask you this, would you guys like
better for Christmas to just be given some cash app
or a gift card? I feel like you can't go
wrong with that. Give me a gift card or give
me cash ap, give me some cash app. Money sALS
about right to me, because Yo, I know, I know,
you know where I'm coming from. How many times I
have a they giving you gifts that you didn't even
(12:51):
want them in the first places, and you're just out
of being courteous to get Oh my god, thank you.
I love it knowing that you're just gonna throw that
somewhere in the garage, in your closet, somewhere creating dust. Right,
I'm sorry, I'm just saying all the things y'all have
thought about but havn't said. Don't say, give me a
little gift card or be like, you know, here's here's like,
(13:14):
you know, one.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Hundred dollars from cash app. I'm happy with that now,
here's another thing.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
I also understand. You don't always have to give a
gift some people. You know, this is tough out here
in these streets. You may not have the money to
be buying people gifts, and that's okay too. I think
it's important to even express those things. Listen, I know
it's the holidays. I really wish that I can. You
know that I could have bought you something, but right
now times of stuff I can.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
But I you know I am.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
I am sending you all prayers, positive energy one day
whenever I can, I got you. That's that's also a
gift because and honesty could also be a gift these days.
You know, I don't mind if you don't have it,
because in many occasions, I haven't had it as much
as I've wanted to, I haven't had the money like
that's a go buy you or anything.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
But am being in many occasions.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
As much as we may think that the gift is trash,
let's talk about the positive side of things. Let's not
be ungrateful and be grateful because nobody has to give
you their hard earned money to buy you nothing. The
fact that you got in your car or god knows
how you got there to go to a store and
buy something and think of me and give it to me.
I am grateful for that. We also, as much as
(14:26):
we want the Lue batons and the Gucci and now
the expensive things for the Christmas, let's also take this
moment to just talk about gratitude and being grateful for
the things that we do receive during Christmas. Like them
spoiled as little kids that be doing them tantrums when
they don't like what they get. No nobody has to
give you nothing, nobody Navida. If they do, it is
(14:51):
because they came out of the goodness of their heart,
even if it's just a Christmas card. Be grateful, Be
grateful that somebody has even thought of you to even
bother to give you something. Okay, because I think that
in moments like this and the way that the world
is moving, we really need to take moments to just
be grateful for the things that we do have, for
the things that we do receive, for the people that
(15:13):
we do have in our lives. And that's another thing
now during the Christmas holidays, as much as I hate it,
because I feel like I do not be like a
whole bunch of hate for kids in the family coming
together to act all happy and then talk trash about
you as soon as they get in the car and
as soon as they get home, and then they wild
tap little group chats and not a crap.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Let's also talk about how.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
We really need to embrace these moments because we're here
today and we don't know what's going to happen tomorrow.
And even though we have that thea and who na
chief Mosa, one day you're gonna miss that, you know.
One day you're gonna miss achievement. One day you're going
to miss that grandparent. One day, you're going to miss
that uncle. They laugh too much, they dance too much,
even even the drunk uncle, or that family member that
(15:54):
be doing the most, the one that's always trying to dance,
the one that's always being loud, the one that's always
being bougie and you know, thinking that she's the most
high class or whatever it may be. Those kids running
around being loud and scandalous and pushing everybody around, as
scandalous as it may look, as as uncomfortable as it
(16:15):
may seem. One day you're gonna miss that. One day,
you're gonna miss those memories. One day, you're gonna wish
that you can go back into that space. So while
you're there in that moment, live in the present, Live
in that moment, enjoy your willite that, Enjoy your mother
and your father, Enjoy your brother, your sister, enjoy those
(16:37):
moments because that will never happen again. That moment in
that way will never ever happen again. And I also
think it's so important to talk about. You know, Christmas
also is about receiving, giving, spending time with each other,
embracing each other, creating memories. And part of creating those
memories is living and being in the present. Stop recording
(17:08):
all these damn moments. I know you want to record it,
and I know you want to take pictures, and I
know that that's super cool, and I know you want
to TikTok, and I know you want to do all
these lives and I get it, But can we also
take some time to live in the present, to live
in the moment. Sometimes you're so caught up trying to
record everything, trying to look sexy and look cute, and
trying to TikTok dance, trying to do all these extra
(17:28):
things that you missed the moment you missed the moment
where you literally just sit there, breathe in, breathe out,
and look all around and try to record.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
Those memories in your mind. You know what I'm saying,
in your mind.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
Look at that Christmas tree, look at the core, the
taste of the food, just the smell of the environment
that you're in.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
All those little details matters.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
And I feel that the more we live in this
new general, you know, this new generation of social media
and techno and everybody being you know, everybody's connected through
the phone instead of being connected in person and all
those things, the more we live in those moments, the
more we disconnect each other from the people that really matter,
the people in our lives, the people in that moment.
(18:15):
You get what I'm saying. So I'm not over here
trying to preach, but I'm just trying.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
To let you know.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
You know, with all the wars, with the the things
that we're living with a disconnect of life and society
is important for us to do moments that you know,
really matter to us, to our family, to our growth.
Also changing a little bit of the route of this conversation.
I know that not too long ago, I did an
episode talking about you know, holiday behaviors. And here goes
(18:42):
another one too. Let's talk about if you go to
someone's house for the holidays again, and this okay, during Christmas,
it would be so nice if you bring a plate
of food, bring a soda, bring a bag of chips,
bring something, you know, anything not impart that brings of
hot talks. And sometimes it's not even what it is
(19:02):
is the act of courtesy is the act of I'm
trying to share, you know, don't go over there just
with your empty stomach and your big ass mouth ready to.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Destroy everything in that kitchen.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
So in my perfect world, that would love to be
in the Dominican Republic. That is so beautiful, that people
are so warm and welcoming. You know, you could feel
the happiness no matter how much property there is, how
many struggles my people may be going through. In my cultura,
we we sing, we dance, we we love, We embrace
(19:35):
each other. Just seeing the apples hanging out, you know,
lo caramelos outside, which is something very cultural to us.
You know, in the Dominican Republic, we have los paranas
that they come out, you know, in the streets and
they'll get, you know, whatever they find in their kitchen
and they just start making music. I love all that,
you know, the the neighbors will come together and go
(19:56):
door to door singing Christmas songs to each other. And
I know it seems crazy, and I know it seems
like what the hell is wrong with you? But back
in the days, it used to be a thing. And
when I see it, you know, I still love it
because it makes me feel like we haven't completely lost
the essence of us. We haven't completely lost our culture,
who we are as people. And I think it's important
(20:17):
to at least now figure out a way to evolve
yourself in it, share share those those cultural.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
Memories and moments, and continue it. Continue. I've done it before.
I once remember I.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Joined the Dominican Republic Wunaparanda, and we just went door
to door, knocking on people's door. They would open the
door and be like, what the hell's going on? And
then we would just sing Christmas songs, you know, and
then the people would join us too, and it became
like a whole thing. But it's so amazing the power
of music. It's so amazing the power that music and
sometimes holidays have that makes people come together.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
By the way, for Christmas. What do you guys eat
because in my house those.
Speaker 3 (21:02):
Gomemos and.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
I mean the list goes on and on and all
the things that we eat. It be terrible the diaby
out the door during Christmas time because we make sure
to eat a little bit of everything. And I definitely
take advantage of that time to eat as much as
they can. And I repeat, as much as they can.
And then I lightened myself, like everybody does that. During
January New Year, we're gonna go to the gym and
(21:45):
do diets. You know, we be lying, but sounds good
with that being said, I hope I didn't kill your spirits.
It's just that Christmas has never been a thing for me.
I'm working on it. Though I'm working on it. I'm
trying to be a better person. I'm trying and I
get into the Christmas bird. But anyways, for today, this
has been exactly Amada. I hope you guys enjoyed it.
(22:07):
Please let us know how you celebrate Christmas, Kwanza, Hanukkah,
whatever it is that you celebrate. Let me know on
exactly Amada what it is you guys do, Send me videos, pictures.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
I want to see it all.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
I wish you guys nothing but the best to you
and your family. I hope you guys create those memories
I was talking about. Live in the present, live in
the moment, embrace it, create as many.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
Memories as possible, because whatever happens.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
During this Christmas event, this Christmas party, this Christmas.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Gathering, it will never happen again the same way.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Thank you so much for being part of Exactly a Mata.
And catch my show by searching for my podcast on
YouTube and clicking on exactly a Mata. Follow me on
Instagram at amarala al and and remember that this has
been a production of Iheart's my cul through that podcast network.
For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Welcome guys Gherrico, Grico, Benilo and Minilo Mihinti. I am
a girl Marra and you're listening to Exactly Amada, a
production of iHeart. Thank you so much for tuning in,
for following, for supporting.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
For still rocking with me after so so long.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast on your favorite
podcast platform, rate us five stars, and leave us a review,
Loka saying that you have to say, I am grateful
for your review.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Okay, so hopefully you'll say something good.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
By the way, Also head over to the YouTube where
you can also watch or listen to the podcast by
searching for micro through that podcast and clicking on exactly
Amada so you can hear some of those episodes you
missed out on. Today, I want to talk about Christmas
memories and how you know how I want to make.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Christmas special for my daughters.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
I want to talk about Christmas, what it means to me,
what I wanted to mean for my girls, how having
my daughters have changed my perspective on Christmas. How you
know family, what family means to me and during Christmas times.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
And I also want to know about your experiences.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Please let me know, how has Christmas been for you
throughout these years? What would you like to do that
you haven't done? What are the best memories the worst memories?
If you guys have any like special routines, uh that
you guys do?
Speaker 2 (01:34):
I want to know.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Also, every different Latino culture we celebrate Christmas differently, and
we all have our own thing, right, because I know
that Puerto Ricans have the au and their casala, that
good stuff. You know, in La Republicamnicana we've been eating
platinos all the time, that mesa.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
We have our traditions, right.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
They go knocking on your door and they come and
they sing like it's a very it's a very Caribbeanish energy.
There's people over social media planning their decorations, shame what
they're gonna be doing for the holidays, and the stories.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
You know.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
I love going to social media and watching the happiness
that people feel during the Christmas season. I truly love that.
And in the Hispanic culture, Christmas is a really big deal.
It's like it's a big thing, and we even celebrate
the Three Kings the day in January and for most
Latin homes that's the day that the kids you know,
(02:31):
get their presence, which is different from the American culture.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Anyways, with that being said, I really just want to
talk about my experience. Okay. I know this is a
beautiful thing.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
I know that I see on social media and everybody's
loving the Christmas spirit ioo im.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
But I am the grin of Christmas? Is it just me?
I'm sorry, I just come't gay. I don't feel it.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
I don't mean I think I'm gonna I'm gonna take
it all the way back until my my my traumas,
my childhood traumas. So during the holidays for the most part,
my mom as a single mom, as an immigrant in
this country and us not having any family here. My
mom was always working. I guess that's where I got
my you know, being a workaholic from. My mom was
(03:15):
always working during the holidays, and she never really celebrated
Christmas with me. I was always home by myself. I
always knew to lock the door, don't open the door
for anybody, you know, unless I tell you it was
me or whatever. My mom would sometimes, you know, let
me go to her friends' houses and stuff like that
so that I could spend Christmas with their family. Because
she had to work, or in many occasions, my mom would.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
End up taking me to her job.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
And because my mom was a cook, I would end
up having to you know, sit down and not you
know a little acta or a little table inside the kitchen
hot as hell while my mom was cooking, you know,
and just cooking. And because my mom was a cook,
and she would cook for all these you know, different
activities for like, for example, Christmas, those people that didn't
(04:03):
want to cook, they.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Would hire you know, where my mom used to work.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
At and then they would do a call me up
or leave it like by the pound.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
So she was cooking for hours and hours and days.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
And I just remember that my holidays really growing up
was my mom working.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
So I kind of hated it because I hated.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Seeing how everybody got to spend their family time, you
know and Christmas together. They used to you know, play
Domino and it was just the cokeuitha and everybody. Like
I loved seeing other people do it. I just hate
that I didn't have that myself. So I guess it
growing up, I just grew up like being the Grinch,
like I hate this holiday. And not to mentor the
(04:44):
fact that now as an adult and even growing up
after I understood what Christmas was about. Yeah, it's beautiful
that you have all your family together and all this,
but it's also kind of trash because it's a whole
bunch of hypocrites. It's a whole bunch of the family
who's being a hypocrite. You haven't been around and God
knows how long, you know, you haven't called your tea,
(05:06):
your theo.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
You're away and God.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Knows how long, and all of a sudden, once a year,
you want to show them all this love and affection,
how much you love, and then you want to come
with your phony ass gifts and all this stuff that
you know you really don't mean. I can't generalize and
say it's everyone. No, there's some families that are actually
really tight. There's some families that are actually very close
(05:28):
and they do have a real bond like that. But
for the most part, when you do these big Christmas
parties and your family comes together, I just hate the phoniness.
I hate the I ain't kid, Oh my god, you're
so big, or you're so curious, Oh you look like this.
Knowing that in those parties ekwon no machi me i
(05:52):
knowing that in those parties is when people gossip the most.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
You're looking at.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Your uncle, you're looking at your aunt, you're looking at
your niece, you're looking at your You're looking at all
these people, like showing them all this up and affection.
But within two point zero seconds, you're gonna turn around
and you're gonna tell another family member some gossip about
them or some I don't know, you're gonna talk about
how they look, or how fat they've got in, or
(06:16):
how her hair looks, trash or whatever.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Is it me? I don't know, Maybe it's me.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Maybe I'm the one who hasn't lived good Christmas experiences, and.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
I don't know. I'm really really doing my best.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
To change that now as an adult, now, as a mother,
and even now I see how I'm suffering because my
daughters are only they're about to be two years old,
and I have no Christmas decorations in my house. I
know that they probably shouldn't, but then I feel like
they don't even know what the hell is going on.
So why do I have to do it? Not to
(06:51):
mention the fact that it's such a like this is
a business. Christmas is a business. You're out here spending
all your money that you wouldn't spend through Friday. But
you're gonna spend all this money buying all these people
that you know you really don't give a damn about gifts.
You went on the you went on the Amazon, you
went on the on the Black Friday, and you bought
(07:13):
as many cheap little things that you can get, just
so that you don't feel guilty that you didn't give
a present. I'm not saying everybody. I'm just talking about
the experiences I have seen and lived, and you know
I'm not lying, So I don't know. I just feel
like you spend so much money buying this Christmas tree,
and not just a Christmas tree. Now you have to
(07:33):
spend all this money buying bolitas and stuff, all these
little balls to put on the tree. I remember when
I was when I first got pregnant, my mom put
a Christmas tree up.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
It was the most beautiful Christmas tree I've ever seen.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
She didn't pink, and my mom had never in the
history of my life as long as I can remember,
ever ever, ever bought a Christmas tree. When I told
her I was pregnant, she was like, oh my god,
oh this is the best Christmas she put the Christmas
tree and let me tell you something, it wasn't until
like the other day.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Then Mommy put down the Christmas tree.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Like the Christmas tree was up during summer, during a ball.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Like the whole two years the.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Christmas tree was up, and whenever she got tired of it,
she would just come and add more different color balls.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
I'm like, bro, what is going on? You do know
you're only.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Supposed to have this Christmas tree up to like January
or something like that, right, which, by the way, when
are you supposed to put the Christmas tree up?
Speaker 2 (08:26):
And when are you supposed to take it down?
Speaker 1 (08:35):
And don't say, on top of that, every year you
have to change the color of the balls and the
cutor of the decoration.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Who's paying for all of this? So you're doing all
of this for who? For yourself?
Speaker 1 (08:45):
No?
Speaker 2 (08:45):
No, no, no, no, that seems like too much work. Do
I have problems? I the Omeo?
Speaker 1 (08:50):
I don't want to be the Grinch. But okay, I
don't get it. I don't get it. I don't understand.
Oh my god, my mom bought this Christmas Santa Claus
Ruh with the bathroom toilet seat covers with the with
the all the toilet accessories and the Christmas I.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Said, ma'am, ma'am, don't do it. That is too much.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
I understand you want to fill in the spirit, but
can you spill the spirit within yourself because this looks terrible,
but it's supposed to bring people joy.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Now I am trying to be a better person. I'm
trying to be a better person for my daughters.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
I want to take them to the you know here
in Miami they call it Centers and Centa's Forest where
it's like a big you know park, you know, Christmas
related and inspired take the girls there to enjoy that.
I think that taking family pictures is so important. I
feel that we've lost the essence of taking pictures. I
love going back into the albums with the real pictures,
even if they look if they look you know, crunchy
(09:47):
and the color is fading. I love to see the
original footage with no filter, with none of that. I
love taking family pictures, and not only that, but printing them.
I think is so important that this year I want
to make it my mis to take pictures, print them
out and do an album because later on those are
the real memories you have. If God forbid your phone,
(10:08):
your your iCloud, your Android r whatever, something would have
happened in the system and the internet world, and all
of it disappears and e rases. All your memories, everything
you've ever accomplished, everything you've ever been or done completely
will be deleted and gone. So that's why I think
it's so important. That's what really matters to me this
year is to print out family pictures of us spending
(10:31):
time together.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
With their I mean I put a hand from me,
meaning as with their with my mom.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
I want them to have pictures with their grandmother and
print them out and have them on an album, and
later on when they're like fifteen sixteen, they can go
back and actually see those pictures. Those are real gifts
to me, Those are real memories to me. You know
that really matters to me. Christmas For the most part,
(10:57):
I spend it home, no adult with my mom or
by myself because I'm always working and it's not really
like a thing for me. It's just another day in life.
You also have to understand my point of view. I
didn't grow up with any family, just with my mom
and the family. Essence of what Christmas is was never
(11:17):
something I grew up learning or understanding, so it hasn't
been a thing for me. But I definitely wanted to
be a thing for my daughters. I want them to
have the fantasy and the you know, all those nice
the childhood memories of Santa Claus and you know, the
cookie next to the Christmas tree and all those things
I've seen other cultures do. I want to be able
(11:40):
to do that for them. Even though, like I said before,
it's never been a thing for me.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
I don't want to.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Put my childhood traumas you know, on my children. I
want them to create their own and I want to
do the best that I can to make sure that
they enjoy these holidays because eventually they'll go to school,
they'll have friends too, and they'll see, you know, what
it's suppose to look like, what it's supposed to be.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
I never want them to feel like in my household,
we don't do that. We don't have that.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
So I'm gonna do my best to involve them in there.
You know, I know that my mother as well, She
is doing her best to make.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
Sure that the girls feel the Christmas spirit. Like I said,
for me, this is a business.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Christmas is a business for you to spend your money,
for you to spend as much as you can, not
only in your house decre but buying dinner food.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
This that Christmas is such a good time for most business.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Now let me ask you this, would you guys like
better for Christmas to just be given some cash app
or a gift card? I feel like you can't go
wrong with that. Give me a gift card or give
me cash ap, give me some cash app. Money sALS
about right to me, because Yo, I know, I know,
you know where I'm coming from. How many times I
have a they giving you gifts that you didn't even
(12:51):
want them in the first places, and you're just out
of being courteous to get Oh my god, thank you.
I love it knowing that you're just gonna throw that
somewhere in the garage, in your closet, somewhere creating dust. Right,
I'm sorry, I'm just saying all the things y'all have
thought about but havn't said. Don't say, give me a
little gift card or be like, you know, here's here's like,
(13:14):
you know, one.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Hundred dollars from cash app. I'm happy with that now,
here's another thing.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
I also understand. You don't always have to give a
gift some people. You know, this is tough out here
in these streets. You may not have the money to
be buying people gifts, and that's okay too. I think
it's important to even express those things. Listen, I know
it's the holidays. I really wish that I can. You
know that I could have bought you something, but right
now times of stuff I can.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
But I you know I am.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
I am sending you all prayers, positive energy one day
whenever I can, I got you. That's that's also a
gift because and honesty could also be a gift these days.
You know, I don't mind if you don't have it,
because in many occasions, I haven't had it as much
as I've wanted to, I haven't had the money like
that's a go buy you or anything.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
But am being in many occasions.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
As much as we may think that the gift is trash,
let's talk about the positive side of things. Let's not
be ungrateful and be grateful because nobody has to give
you their hard earned money to buy you nothing. The
fact that you got in your car or god knows
how you got there to go to a store and
buy something and think of me and give it to me.
I am grateful for that. We also, as much as
(14:26):
we want the Lue batons and the Gucci and now
the expensive things for the Christmas, let's also take this
moment to just talk about gratitude and being grateful for
the things that we do receive during Christmas. Like them
spoiled as little kids that be doing them tantrums when
they don't like what they get. No nobody has to
give you nothing, nobody Navida. If they do, it is
(14:51):
because they came out of the goodness of their heart,
even if it's just a Christmas card. Be grateful, Be
grateful that somebody has even thought of you to even
bother to give you something. Okay, because I think that
in moments like this and the way that the world
is moving, we really need to take moments to just
be grateful for the things that we do have, for
the things that we do receive, for the people that
(15:13):
we do have in our lives. And that's another thing
now during the Christmas holidays, as much as I hate it,
because I feel like I do not be like a
whole bunch of hate for kids in the family coming
together to act all happy and then talk trash about
you as soon as they get in the car and
as soon as they get home, and then they wild
tap little group chats and not a crap.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Let's also talk about how.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
We really need to embrace these moments because we're here
today and we don't know what's going to happen tomorrow.
And even though we have that thea and who na
chief Mosa, one day you're gonna miss that, you know.
One day you're gonna miss achievement. One day you're going
to miss that grandparent. One day, you're going to miss
that uncle. They laugh too much, they dance too much,
even even the drunk uncle, or that family member that
(15:54):
be doing the most, the one that's always trying to dance,
the one that's always being loud, the one that's always
being bougie and you know, thinking that she's the most
high class or whatever it may be. Those kids running
around being loud and scandalous and pushing everybody around, as
scandalous as it may look, as as uncomfortable as it
(16:15):
may seem. One day you're gonna miss that. One day,
you're gonna miss those memories. One day, you're gonna wish
that you can go back into that space. So while
you're there in that moment, live in the present, Live
in that moment, enjoy your willite that, Enjoy your mother
and your father, Enjoy your brother, your sister, enjoy those
(16:37):
moments because that will never happen again. That moment in
that way will never ever happen again. And I also
think it's so important to talk about. You know, Christmas
also is about receiving, giving, spending time with each other,
embracing each other, creating memories. And part of creating those
memories is living and being in the present. Stop recording
(17:08):
all these damn moments. I know you want to record it,
and I know you want to take pictures, and I
know that that's super cool, and I know you want
to TikTok, and I know you want to do all
these lives and I get it, But can we also
take some time to live in the present, to live
in the moment. Sometimes you're so caught up trying to
record everything, trying to look sexy and look cute, and
trying to TikTok dance, trying to do all these extra
(17:28):
things that you missed the moment you missed the moment
where you literally just sit there, breathe in, breathe out,
and look all around and try to record.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
Those memories in your mind. You know what I'm saying,
in your mind.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
Look at that Christmas tree, look at the core, the
taste of the food, just the smell of the environment
that you're in.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
All those little details matters.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
And I feel that the more we live in this
new general, you know, this new generation of social media
and techno and everybody being you know, everybody's connected through
the phone instead of being connected in person and all
those things, the more we live in those moments, the
more we disconnect each other from the people that really matter,
the people in our lives, the people in that moment.
(18:15):
You get what I'm saying. So I'm not over here
trying to preach, but I'm just trying.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
To let you know.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
You know, with all the wars, with the the things
that we're living with a disconnect of life and society
is important for us to do moments that you know,
really matter to us, to our family, to our growth.
Also changing a little bit of the route of this conversation.
I know that not too long ago, I did an
episode talking about you know, holiday behaviors. And here goes
(18:42):
another one too. Let's talk about if you go to
someone's house for the holidays again, and this okay, during Christmas,
it would be so nice if you bring a plate
of food, bring a soda, bring a bag of chips,
bring something, you know, anything not impart that brings of
hot talks. And sometimes it's not even what it is
(19:02):
is the act of courtesy is the act of I'm
trying to share, you know, don't go over there just
with your empty stomach and your big ass mouth ready to.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Destroy everything in that kitchen.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
So in my perfect world, that would love to be
in the Dominican Republic. That is so beautiful, that people
are so warm and welcoming. You know, you could feel
the happiness no matter how much property there is, how
many struggles my people may be going through. In my cultura,
we we sing, we dance, we we love, We embrace
(19:35):
each other. Just seeing the apples hanging out, you know,
lo caramelos outside, which is something very cultural to us.
You know, in the Dominican Republic, we have los paranas
that they come out, you know, in the streets and
they'll get, you know, whatever they find in their kitchen
and they just start making music. I love all that,
you know, the the neighbors will come together and go
(19:56):
door to door singing Christmas songs to each other. And
I know it seems crazy, and I know it seems
like what the hell is wrong with you? But back
in the days, it used to be a thing. And
when I see it, you know, I still love it
because it makes me feel like we haven't completely lost
the essence of us. We haven't completely lost our culture,
who we are as people. And I think it's important
(20:17):
to at least now figure out a way to evolve
yourself in it, share share those those cultural.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
Memories and moments, and continue it. Continue. I've done it before.
I once remember I.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Joined the Dominican Republic Wunaparanda, and we just went door
to door, knocking on people's door. They would open the
door and be like, what the hell's going on? And
then we would just sing Christmas songs, you know, and
then the people would join us too, and it became
like a whole thing. But it's so amazing the power
of music. It's so amazing the power that music and
sometimes holidays have that makes people come together.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
By the way, for Christmas. What do you guys eat
because in my house those.
Speaker 3 (21:02):
Gomemos and.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
I mean the list goes on and on and all
the things that we eat. It be terrible the diaby
out the door during Christmas time because we make sure
to eat a little bit of everything. And I definitely
take advantage of that time to eat as much as
they can. And I repeat, as much as they can.
And then I lightened myself, like everybody does that. During
January New Year, we're gonna go to the gym and
(21:45):
do diets. You know, we be lying, but sounds good
with that being said, I hope I didn't kill your spirits.
It's just that Christmas has never been a thing for me.
I'm working on it. Though I'm working on it. I'm
trying to be a better person. I'm trying and I
get into the Christmas bird. But anyways, for today, this
has been exactly Amada. I hope you guys enjoyed it.
(22:07):
Please let us know how you celebrate Christmas, Kwanza, Hanukkah,
whatever it is that you celebrate. Let me know on
exactly Amada what it is you guys do, Send me videos, pictures.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
I want to see it all.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
I wish you guys nothing but the best to you
and your family. I hope you guys create those memories
I was talking about. Live in the present, live in
the moment, embrace it, create as many.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
Memories as possible, because whatever happens.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
During this Christmas event, this Christmas party, this Christmas.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Gathering, it will never happen again the same way.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Thank you so much for being part of Exactly a Mata.
And catch my show by searching for my podcast on
YouTube and clicking on exactly a Mata. Follow me on
Instagram at amarala al and and remember that this has
been a production of Iheart's my cul through that podcast network.
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