September 28, 2023 • 26 mins
This week on Exactly Amara, Kelvin Davis of Notoriously Dapper joins Amara to discuss the portrayal of masculinity in popular media. They explore the need for diverse representation, encouraging vulnerability and self-expression without judgment.
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome, Welcome, Welcome.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Once again, you guys already know it's your girl, Amada
Laira and you're listening to Exactly Amada, a production of Ihearts.
Thank you guys for tuning in as usual, and don't
forget to give us.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
Those five stars.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Subscribe to the podcast on your favorite podcast platform. Today's show,
it's gonna be super fun because I already had him
in the past as a guest, but today's gonna be
co hosting Exactly Amada with me HAARLEI.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
First of all, how are you doing, Amana?
Speaker 4 (00:30):
I am super excited about this topic. It's one that
I know you've been wanting to talk about for a
very long time. Today on the show, we are talking
about masculinity in popular media that of course covers so
much ground from masculinity in our culture, toxic masculinity in
society on social media. For today's topic, we have a
(00:54):
very special guest. You may recognize his voice from a
previous show. His name is Kelvin David. He's from Notoriously
Dapper and he is back to bring his insights for
this very important topic.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Kelvin, Welcome to the show.
Speaker 5 (01:08):
Yay, thank you, Yay, thank you. Thank you for having
me again. I'm excited to be here.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
So there's so many things, there's so many different points
to discuss when it comes to exploring masculinity in popular media.
When you hear the word masculinity, what exactly do you hear?
What exactly do you envision or think of?
Speaker 6 (01:27):
Well, I think of a word in masculinity. I'm thinking
of a man that knows who he is and a
man that lives with his own purpose. I think the
media and societal standards of masculinity because sometimes construe man
because you have one side of the standards saying that
men need to be more vulnerable, men need to open up,
(01:48):
men need to do this and that, and then you
have another side of the same. You know, men aren't
supposed to open up. They're supposed to be tough, They're
supposed to be all these things that have this hard shell.
So I think when a man can be both hard
and soft at the same time and really be, you know,
in tune with his purpose, to me, that's the definition
(02:11):
of masculinity. I mean, you really can't get any better
than that than having the best of both.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Worlds, right, And how does the portrayal of masculinity evolved
over the years in popular media.
Speaker 6 (02:22):
In your eyes, I think some of the keys is
definitely time, because you know, when you think back like
the nineteen tens and twenties and shit, like, the definition
of a man or masculinity is a lot different than
what it is now in the modern right, right, Like,
you have men from like back in the days like
the night and like the nineteen tens and twenties that
(02:43):
just because they dressed nice, they were considered men, like
they could be wife beaters, they could be obviously they
were you know, more than likely racist during that time,
so there was a lot of hatred in their heart.
There was a lot of you know, negative attributes. But
just because dress nice and they were a part of
the community, they were considered like masculine and considered like
(03:06):
a gentleman and stuff. But in this modern day and age,
the way you dress doesn't make.
Speaker 5 (03:12):
You a man.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
You just hit a really interesting point to me, because
I feel that we're in a generation, in an era
where men now have evolved from their closet to ours, right,
doing certain outfits, certain looks that go into like you
know what now is known as unisex, right, So let's
talk about the physical aspect, the wardrobe aspect of it,
(03:34):
the visual aspect of it. Where now which you would
have never seen this before, it's a popular trendy thing
to see men wearing nail polish. It's now a statement
of art. Back in the days, there was an era
where men used to somewhat wear and I don't even
thinks back in the day certain cultures where men used
to wear like the skirt. It's like the skirt, pants, pants, skirts.
(03:55):
We see more of that happening. We see more men
now becoming more Even when it comes to colors, there
was a time where certain colors define this is for women,
this is for men, or this is for girls, this.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
Is for boys.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Not anymore.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Colors is just colors and everybody can do the same thing.
I think the same thing goes with the hair. You know, clothes,
hair that when you see them, masculinity does the way
that you dress in your eyes or you know, the
fashion statement of these days doesn't affect the masculinity for
the popular eye, should it or does it?
Speaker 6 (04:29):
It shouldn't, but it does. I feel like in some
societal standards, a lot of people would view a man
that does those eclectic thing as not being masculine, okay
in my eyes, you know, I've known plenty of men,
including myself. You know that because they wear bright colors,
(04:49):
or they get their nails done, or because you know,
they wear something that's considered feminine to me doesn't make
them less of a man. But that's just my personal,
you know, opinion, in my personal life experience. And I
feel as though, like the societal standard you know, has
to change in some way because you know, if people
do their history, heels were originally invented for men.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
I mean, we did have our disco day because I
remember that was really trendy when men used to wear
like those big platform shoes or whatever, and they weren't
perceived as less masculine or less of a man because
they were wearing these big ass heels that today you
wouldn't barely ever see a man of rocking these you know,
platform disco shoes whatever. That definitely hasn't evolved, but it
(05:35):
was a thing back in the days.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Here's something else that is interesting to me.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
As much as we have.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Grown and visually been like, you know, accept me as
I am, there is certain media platforms that tend to
reinforce the traditional masculinity. For example, obviously when you see
the news anchors, is there in your eyes certain media
platform that just reinforce the fact that, you know, the
masculinity should be portrayed in a certain way, I feel like.
Speaker 6 (05:59):
But then black culture, you know, there's a lot of
stigma around black boys and black men. They need to
be a certain way and be a certain standard, right,
and there's like this, you know, there's a certain standard
of what a black man should be in Black culture.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Okay, talk about it.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Latinos too, Latinos too. Let me tell you something because Latinos.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Are also portrayed for the most part, and there's this stigma,
you know, the macho man, you know, a machismo thing.
So definitely it goes from one generation to the other
when they're reinforcing that. In order for you to be
a man u, macho, masculino, whatever, you have to act
a certain way or look a certain way or whatever.
(06:40):
Emotionally you can't be vulnerable or whatever. So not just
for the black people, but go ahead, yeah.
Speaker 5 (06:47):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 6 (06:47):
So like within our cultures, it's like it's hard for
young black boys, it's hard for young black men to
sometimes you know, if they're feeling different, if they feel like,
you know, they want to be a little vulnerable, or
they want to cry, or you know, there's something happens,
and you know, they want to dress a little different.
It's hard for them to come into their own when
they're in their community because within a Black and Latino culture,
(07:12):
you know, we are so strict about this is the
way a man should act this, This is the way
a man should be. You need to weigh your pants
this way, you need to dress this way, talk this way.
And you know, that can be detrimental to how you know,
they grow up, especially when they leave that community and
they go somewhere else, like they go to a college,
(07:33):
or you know, they just go on like a field trip,
or they go somewhere else and they see that, you know,
other places are more accepting of who they are.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Now, let's also talk about the emotional aspect of it,
because I feel that that goes from one generation to
the other, and I think that unconsciously they don't realize
how it does affect.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
You know, we live in in a world where when
a man cries, you're seen as being soft, You're seen
as being you know, weak.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
I think that being able to be emotionally available and
vulnerable is actually it showcases how strong you are. You know,
you're in control of your emotions. You are in you
are in tune with your emotions. And it's usually seen
in such a negative light when it comes to men.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
Why do you think that is?
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Like why is it not okay?
Speaker 2 (08:24):
And you do see that a lot in the in
the black community, where it's like stop currying, you know,
men up, or even for girls, you know, suck it
up like a man, or take it like why does
it have to be so hard?
Speaker 3 (08:37):
And so you know, there's no great area.
Speaker 5 (08:47):
I think it has to go back.
Speaker 6 (08:48):
To the way that the societal standard of men, the
way men are viewed. I feel like, you know, men
mostly fight wars, right, men mostly do all these hard
and you know, tough things. So you know, there's always
been a stigma attached where you know, don't cry, you
don't do this, you don't do that, right. So I
mean I remember as a kid, my dad telling me
(09:11):
that it was okay for me to cry, and you know,
as a black dad, like.
Speaker 5 (09:15):
That was rare to be heard of, especially in.
Speaker 6 (09:18):
Like the early nineties, like that was rare to have
a dad say it's okay for you to cry. He
probably had similar feelings but were not able to express
those feelings. So I think he wanted to make it
okay for me to do so. And you know, I'm
really not much of a crier. You know, I'm not
really much of like an emotional crier kind of guy.
Speaker 5 (09:40):
Now.
Speaker 6 (09:41):
I react out of like, you know, frustration, and sometimes
I feel like like a little angry. But you know,
as far as like crying, you know, it takes a
lot for me to cry.
Speaker 5 (09:51):
And what I do.
Speaker 6 (09:52):
I usually cry in private because I don't like for
I don't like for people to see me cry.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
Why does that happen?
Speaker 3 (09:58):
I'm a private c as well, you know.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
I think that also, Ladies, tell me if you feel me,
I don't know me. Kid is being raised by a
single mother, immigrant mother, which has really you know, they
have really high expectations for what they expect your future
to be, because they're like, if I crossed you know,
the desert period to get here, you better not cry
over this little patty thing like YO about to that,
(10:23):
you know, so they have very high standards. It's always
a man up, tough enough, Ma Tito you can't cry
keep it up. And I am a private crier. It's like,
I'll cry in the shower to myself. I ye me,
and I'm not gonna say, oh, I give myself advice
like you're doing good. I try to encourage myself and talk,
you know. And it sucks that you have to do
(10:45):
it privately. It sucks that you can't just be open
and vulnerable. And I'm going to talk about it from
even an entertainment side. I work on reality TV keyword work.
I will work on a reality TV show and in
many occasions we touch certain topics that make me vulnerable
and I'm open enough to be emotional about it and
cry and be like, yo, that really hurt my feelings
(11:07):
or that really made me feel some type of way.
And they look at look at this weak bitch, look
at this da dah da da dah. And I'm like,
why are we in a society where when you're emotionally
open like that, it's so perceived in such a negative way.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Instead of being like, damn, I can relate.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
I hate the fact.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
That there's so many people that are stuck in a
room where they can't cry, they can't be vulnerable and
then we see so many people committing suicide or stuck
on drugs or you know, stuck on alcohol or just
trying to find an outlet. Have you ever felt in
a space of like, damn, this is so unfair, Like
I have to come cry in a corner because or
maybe you did bent to someone publicly, maybe a family member,
(11:52):
and then they judge you for it.
Speaker 6 (11:55):
Yeah, you know, I do feel like I have to
cry privately because you know, I don't want people to
see that side of me sometimes. And I know that's
sad to say, because it's like, you know, I'm this
guy that's like everybody should be vulnerable and do this
and that. But I do live this double edge sword where,
you know, in front of my daughters sometimes when I
(12:17):
want to cry, you know, I'll wait until they go
back home with with their mom or you know why why,
I don't know, because it's just like I don't want them,
you know, to see me in that state and maybe possibly,
you know, for some odd reason, see me as like
being weaker, soft.
Speaker 5 (12:34):
Than I am. Yeah, it's soft weak, you know.
Speaker 6 (12:37):
And that's sad to say, because it's like I want
my daughters to be like, you know, daddy has emos's
daddy cries and all this stuff. Yes, I've only cried
in front of my daughters once and it was only
like a like three three little tears and wife them
my real quick.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
And it was like you you know what I mean, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
That's crazy.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
But then at the same time, we expect them to
feel open enough to trust us and talk to us
and be like, it's okay to cry, It's okay to
do this, but you can't see me do it, but
you can come to me and do.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
It and unconsciously, you don't know how that is damaging.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
It's it's you know what, I think that my mom
and I everybody admires our relationship.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
It's a roller coaster because now i'f it.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
Fact, no, nothing is perfect, but people that admire our relationship.
I think the part of it was the fact that
I saw her in so many vulnerable stages and she
allowed me to see it. There's a lot of parents
that they don't want their kids to see them cry.
They don't want them to know that we're struggling. They
don't want No, I want you to see I'm hurting,
I'm human, because then like that you can connect with me.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
You can connect emotionally the struggle, the pain, the sadness,
the whatever it may be.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
Sometimes as a parent, I think it's important for your
children to see the human side of you. Daddy is strong,
but you know what, Daddy has emotions, He has feelings,
like I really heard his feelings or let me not
do this, Like if you can see your parent in
such a not strict light and see them as a
human I think that is very important, and I'm glad
(14:03):
that we touched that because there's so many young parents
out there, just people overall, that the way that we
have to raise our children is different than the way
that we were raised because times have changed. Those things
are important, and talking about the emotional part is important.
Something I else want to talk about because I know
that you've been passionate about it before and you've spoken
about it. Is the physical aspect of what the world
(14:23):
perceives as masculine. I know that men also have a
lot of pressure that for the most part, we don't
hear because we always hear about women talking about how
insecure they feel about their body, how TV, social media,
music videos, all of this makes women feel so insecure
as if we all have to go get surgery.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
My body is not perfect. That da da da da.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
It creates bullieve me, It creates arexia, it creates eating disorders,
it creates so many other things. But we never talk
about the men they go through this. So what is
your perspective when it comes to when it comes to
men and the physical aspect of masculinity.
Speaker 6 (14:57):
There's definitely a harder standard for men to reach when
it comes to reaching that physical version of masculinity because
you know, we'll see these guys that have an extremely
massive amount of muscle or like abs, all these things, right,
and then that's what they portray as being masculine or
being like, you know, ferocious and you know all these
(15:20):
you know, masculine beauty, I would say, right. So it's
like when you have a man that doesn't fit that standard,
you know, men do feel insecure, especially when you know
there's a whole media platform that dedicates their time to
saying this is the way men should look, this is
the way you know men are supposed to look. And
then you have the other aspect of you know, men
(15:42):
should just be who they are, right. Body positivity is
for everybody. It's for every size, every gender, every age,
every race. Right, I want to also talk about height
because people feel short.
Speaker 5 (15:54):
I'm like, mean, he's not a man.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Oh that is true.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
That is true.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
We always see women saying I want a tall man.
I want to So what happens to all the short men? Mean, like,
I never thought about that, but I'm glad that you're
talking about it.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
And by the way, there's gonna go out, you know, there's.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
Gonna be crazy or whatever.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
But then they saw on the Instagram, right, ladies, they
were doing like the survey or whatever about man's penis,
and they were doing it based on height, with.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
All due respect, and they actually.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Saw that most of the shorter men actually had the
large you know, the larger penis. And you're one of
those girls that I need a man. They has Unamama
reads Bay has it.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Well, you know what, you might not want to discredit
the short men because a lot of them be packing.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
So with that being said, a lot of the short
men too, I feel like they have they feel the
need of having to fight. They're like really feisty, and
they have this stigma they can the shorter you are,
the feistier you are, because they feel like they have to.
I don't know, fight against the world for making fun
of them because they're shorter.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
That is so fair.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Just because the man is tall doesn't make him any better.
Speaker 6 (17:04):
Yeah, and now you have this like new version of
BBLS where like men are getting their legs broken to
be taller, and that to me is like fucking sound
like they get they really get dudes out here paying
thousands of dollars the steamers broken in half to be
three to six inches taller. Yeah, that's crazy, Like to me,
(17:26):
that's really crazy.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Because no, no, no, no, no, you can't say that that's
really crazy because when you see the women out here
full of surgery, you think that they look fine as hell.
But anyways, get your boobs done, get stabbed inside so
they can take the fat out, and then they turn
you around and say.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
All the fact they took out of your stomach into
your ass. Then you're laying there for crazy.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
You're really looking that's crazy.
Speaker 5 (17:47):
That's crazy, Like I mean, that's crazy. That is crazy.
That like the whole societal standard has caused people to
feel that way, do you know what I mean? Yeah,
but society has to be held accountable in some way.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
They're not. But if we yeah, they're not.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
But if we lived in a world where it would
be like all of a sudden, it is illegal to
get surgery anywhere and everybody just had to be who
they are.
Speaker 5 (18:13):
Yeah, what a baby.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
Let me tell you, it would be a tough world
out here because a lot of the girls that you
see out here looking all fine and crispy. By the
way she stretched out her eyes, her she faked her eyebrows,
her noses, that her cheekbels are added, her lips is
not hers, her jawline is really not hers. That week
that she got on, plus her tisses that her leg
bulls done, her hits are not real, her ass is faked,
(18:38):
you know when you.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
Were to look at it.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
And then now we're also in the world where men
do the same thing, which is also kind of giving
equality and fairness. Where the men are wearing lace fronts
for though they ain't got no hair, they're adding on
these glued on hairlines.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
You know, they're getting the six packs done.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
Like, we live in a world where we're so faked,
but we expect so much realness from each other.
Speaker 5 (19:06):
That was good. That was good.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Bars, your bars, you know, were living up.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
We live in a world where we expect so much
perfection from each other. We expect these perfect bodies, these
perfect hairlines, these perfect skin, this that all this other craft.
But we expect so much realness from each other, like
be real, to be to me, be honest with me,
be loyal, to be be allest.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
But you're not even that to yourself exactly.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
Yeah, So you know, if we really have to live
in a world where we accepted everyone as they are,
I don't know if well. I mean there was a
time where things were like that, but it would be
very hard to go back. It would be very it
would be very hard to go back. And not to
mention the fact that society, who needs to somewhat be
blamed for it, has made so much money out of
(19:54):
our insecurities.
Speaker 3 (19:56):
For sure, you know, talk about it.
Speaker 6 (19:58):
Men are responsible for the way women feel about the body,
or do you think it's other women? Because there's this
online debate thing that says that men really prefer women
more natural and women and other women that needs to
be in competition with other women?
Speaker 5 (20:18):
Do you think that's true?
Speaker 1 (20:19):
Are for he's looking and swimming data he's looking. I'm
gonna tell you why.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Yeah, you know, why, I honestly think that we're really
messes up the mentality when it comes to the physical
part is porn.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
I'm blaming you. I'm blaming it important because I'm gonna.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
Tell you why.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
When the porn that that these boys grow up as
men to watch, they're looking at these perfect bodies, right.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
The boobs don't even jiggle, most of them.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
They're like all these perfect boobs, the ways the skin
which you know, it's like they have makeup on it.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
It's like a whole thing. I've been on a porno set.
It's definitely not what you see in the movie.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
So there's like a whole you know, production behind this,
and men create this mentality of this is what I want,
this is what makes me hot, this is what I've seen.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
When you look out in the street, you're.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Looking like you're looking for the comfort of your mother,
right with the sexiness of the peel of what you
grew up watching that turned you on on these porn
videos and all this stuff. So you're looking for this
this mix and that mix when you go.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Out here to these streets.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
There's great women out here who are responsible, well educated,
financially stable, all these great things morals, values, but doesn't
look like what you see.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
Or what you what makes you hot, whatever. So it
just puts a really.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
High standard for women to fit into this this perfection.
And then you have society that gives you Victoria's Secret models,
that gives you photoshop images of these women all this
other stuff.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
And I think the.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Women naturally are competitive and we compete against each other.
But between society and the men that we want, we
want you to want us, and you don't want us
because we don't look this way.
Speaker 3 (22:11):
It makes it very hard.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
If you even look at the porn for the most part,
you have some fig guys, but a lot of them
are not even fig.
Speaker 3 (22:18):
They could be fat.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
You could be fat, you could be square, you have
no ass, you can have a little dingling, you have anything,
and we'll still take you.
Speaker 5 (22:26):
That's true.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
So it's very it's very unfair. Is the standards are
very uneven?
Speaker 6 (22:33):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, especially especially when you put it
in that way. You know, I didn't even think about
the whole porn aspect of it, and how young boys
are growing up with this, like you know, with this
ideal like body image of what a woman should be,
and it's hard to shake that when you're like a
fifteen year old boy and you view this, I'm not
a porn and then you're like twenty and you're trying
(22:55):
to get this girl, You're like, wait, she doesn't look
like the girl I saw when I was fifteen.
Speaker 5 (22:59):
Yeah, that's some fuckf.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
And even sexually, and even sexually women, a lot of
them become insecure because I've had this conversation before where
they become insecure because they feel that they have to
do what their men like or what they've seen based.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
On what they've watched.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
It's not even real because if you were to be
on a sess and you see that there's five cameras,
there's the hairstyles, the makeup of this that that does assist.
There's a whole bunch of people making sure that this
image gets created for your entertainment. It makes it unfair
for women as well. So I'm glad that we reached
this topic because these are the things that people think
about a lot of times but don't have the guts
(23:35):
to talk about publicly. And I love the fact that
you are willing to be open, vulnerable, honest, transparent. Maybe
not with your kids, but you might want to work
on that. Yeah, I work on but we need more
people that are willing to be open and honest and
just accept themselves for who they are and still work
on themselves because things are not perfect.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
It's a working process.
Speaker 5 (23:57):
You know.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
I'm so glad to have you working with Find you
all right.
Speaker 6 (24:00):
You can find me on Instagram at Kelvin Davis and
then you can find me on Facebook at no Torsti
Dapper at nottorsidepper dot com.
Speaker 5 (24:09):
And you know you could get my book wherever you
know books are sold.
Speaker 6 (24:12):
It's no how to be a modern dealer maate with
men or telling body confidence.
Speaker 5 (24:16):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
Strong, I know that's right.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
And by the way, guys, listen, if there's anything you
could take home with you today from today's conversation.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
In my eyes, it's just before you go ahead and
judge someone else, especially also you know a man, before
you go judge somebody else, check you first. You know
what I'm saying. It's it's tough out hearing this world
for everybody. Everybody's going through their own struggles in different levels,
in different ways. It'stop being so damn judgmental about somebody's
body about the way they should dress, about the way
that they should act. Mind your own damn business. The
(24:46):
same way that you don't want people to judge you,
let other people be who they are. We were all
born different and that's what makes us us, and that
combination is why we're in this world.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
To accept each other for who we are.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
Whether a man is sure, whether he's and that's another thing, ladies,
if you feel that you have a lot of pressure,
let's also think that men. Men are also going through
their own demons. They're also going through their own struggles
with society in their household, the way that we're raised
at work, whatever it may be. Some judging people for
the how tall they are, what they're wearing this, and
that you know where they live, what car they drive.
(25:21):
Today you could have everything and tomorrow you could lose it,
you know, and vice versa. I've known a lot of
men that didn't have nothing, and all it took was
this one opportunity for his whole life to change. And
you missed out on this good man because of this situation.
So just be more open minded and less judgmental. With
that being said, guys, today's episode, I've really, really enjoyed it,
(25:41):
and if you didn't get an opportunity to, you know,
tell anybody about it, they can go ahead and watch
it again on the YouTube channel. Just go to the
search part and ready. Exactly Amada. Thank you once again
for being part of Exactly Amada. Follow me on Instagram
at Amala al And amadat Latinika al And and remember
that this has been a of Iheart's Microfuda podcast network.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
For more podcasts from.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
My heart, visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or
wherever you listen to your favorite shows. This is your girl,
Amara Negra and you just heard exactly among
Welcome, Welcome, Welcome.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Once again, you guys already know it's your girl, Amada
Laira and you're listening to Exactly Amada, a production of Ihearts.
Thank you guys for tuning in as usual, and don't
forget to give us.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
Those five stars.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Subscribe to the podcast on your favorite podcast platform. Today's show,
it's gonna be super fun because I already had him
in the past as a guest, but today's gonna be
co hosting Exactly Amada with me HAARLEI.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
First of all, how are you doing, Amana?
Speaker 4 (00:30):
I am super excited about this topic. It's one that
I know you've been wanting to talk about for a
very long time. Today on the show, we are talking
about masculinity in popular media that of course covers so
much ground from masculinity in our culture, toxic masculinity in
society on social media. For today's topic, we have a
(00:54):
very special guest. You may recognize his voice from a
previous show. His name is Kelvin David. He's from Notoriously
Dapper and he is back to bring his insights for
this very important topic.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Kelvin, Welcome to the show.
Speaker 5 (01:08):
Yay, thank you, Yay, thank you. Thank you for having
me again. I'm excited to be here.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
So there's so many things, there's so many different points
to discuss when it comes to exploring masculinity in popular media.
When you hear the word masculinity, what exactly do you hear?
What exactly do you envision or think of?
Speaker 6 (01:27):
Well, I think of a word in masculinity. I'm thinking
of a man that knows who he is and a
man that lives with his own purpose. I think the
media and societal standards of masculinity because sometimes construe man
because you have one side of the standards saying that
men need to be more vulnerable, men need to open up,
(01:48):
men need to do this and that, and then you
have another side of the same. You know, men aren't
supposed to open up. They're supposed to be tough, They're
supposed to be all these things that have this hard shell.
So I think when a man can be both hard
and soft at the same time and really be, you know,
in tune with his purpose, to me, that's the definition
(02:11):
of masculinity. I mean, you really can't get any better
than that than having the best of both.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Worlds, right, And how does the portrayal of masculinity evolved
over the years in popular media.
Speaker 6 (02:22):
In your eyes, I think some of the keys is
definitely time, because you know, when you think back like
the nineteen tens and twenties and shit, like, the definition
of a man or masculinity is a lot different than
what it is now in the modern right, right, Like,
you have men from like back in the days like
the night and like the nineteen tens and twenties that
(02:43):
just because they dressed nice, they were considered men, like
they could be wife beaters, they could be obviously they
were you know, more than likely racist during that time,
so there was a lot of hatred in their heart.
There was a lot of you know, negative attributes. But
just because dress nice and they were a part of
the community, they were considered like masculine and considered like
(03:06):
a gentleman and stuff. But in this modern day and age,
the way you dress doesn't make.
Speaker 5 (03:12):
You a man.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
You just hit a really interesting point to me, because
I feel that we're in a generation, in an era
where men now have evolved from their closet to ours, right,
doing certain outfits, certain looks that go into like you
know what now is known as unisex, right, So let's
talk about the physical aspect, the wardrobe aspect of it,
(03:34):
the visual aspect of it. Where now which you would
have never seen this before, it's a popular trendy thing
to see men wearing nail polish. It's now a statement
of art. Back in the days, there was an era
where men used to somewhat wear and I don't even
thinks back in the day certain cultures where men used
to wear like the skirt. It's like the skirt, pants, pants, skirts.
(03:55):
We see more of that happening. We see more men
now becoming more Even when it comes to colors, there
was a time where certain colors define this is for women,
this is for men, or this is for girls, this.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
Is for boys.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Not anymore.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Colors is just colors and everybody can do the same thing.
I think the same thing goes with the hair. You know, clothes,
hair that when you see them, masculinity does the way
that you dress in your eyes or you know, the
fashion statement of these days doesn't affect the masculinity for
the popular eye, should it or does it?
Speaker 6 (04:29):
It shouldn't, but it does. I feel like in some
societal standards, a lot of people would view a man
that does those eclectic thing as not being masculine, okay
in my eyes, you know, I've known plenty of men,
including myself. You know that because they wear bright colors,
(04:49):
or they get their nails done, or because you know,
they wear something that's considered feminine to me doesn't make
them less of a man. But that's just my personal,
you know, opinion, in my personal life experience. And I
feel as though, like the societal standard you know, has
to change in some way because you know, if people
do their history, heels were originally invented for men.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
I mean, we did have our disco day because I
remember that was really trendy when men used to wear
like those big platform shoes or whatever, and they weren't
perceived as less masculine or less of a man because
they were wearing these big ass heels that today you
wouldn't barely ever see a man of rocking these you know,
platform disco shoes whatever. That definitely hasn't evolved, but it
(05:35):
was a thing back in the days.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Here's something else that is interesting to me.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
As much as we have.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Grown and visually been like, you know, accept me as
I am, there is certain media platforms that tend to
reinforce the traditional masculinity. For example, obviously when you see
the news anchors, is there in your eyes certain media
platform that just reinforce the fact that, you know, the
masculinity should be portrayed in a certain way, I feel like.
Speaker 6 (05:59):
But then black culture, you know, there's a lot of
stigma around black boys and black men. They need to
be a certain way and be a certain standard, right,
and there's like this, you know, there's a certain standard
of what a black man should be in Black culture.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Okay, talk about it.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Latinos too, Latinos too. Let me tell you something because Latinos.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Are also portrayed for the most part, and there's this stigma,
you know, the macho man, you know, a machismo thing.
So definitely it goes from one generation to the other
when they're reinforcing that. In order for you to be
a man u, macho, masculino, whatever, you have to act
a certain way or look a certain way or whatever.
(06:40):
Emotionally you can't be vulnerable or whatever. So not just
for the black people, but go ahead, yeah.
Speaker 5 (06:47):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 6 (06:47):
So like within our cultures, it's like it's hard for
young black boys, it's hard for young black men to
sometimes you know, if they're feeling different, if they feel like,
you know, they want to be a little vulnerable, or
they want to cry, or you know, there's something happens,
and you know, they want to dress a little different.
It's hard for them to come into their own when
they're in their community because within a Black and Latino culture,
(07:12):
you know, we are so strict about this is the
way a man should act this, This is the way
a man should be. You need to weigh your pants
this way, you need to dress this way, talk this way.
And you know, that can be detrimental to how you know,
they grow up, especially when they leave that community and
they go somewhere else, like they go to a college,
(07:33):
or you know, they just go on like a field trip,
or they go somewhere else and they see that, you know,
other places are more accepting of who they are.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Now, let's also talk about the emotional aspect of it,
because I feel that that goes from one generation to
the other, and I think that unconsciously they don't realize
how it does affect.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
You know, we live in in a world where when
a man cries, you're seen as being soft, You're seen
as being you know, weak.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
I think that being able to be emotionally available and
vulnerable is actually it showcases how strong you are. You know,
you're in control of your emotions. You are in you
are in tune with your emotions. And it's usually seen
in such a negative light when it comes to men.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
Why do you think that is?
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Like why is it not okay?
Speaker 2 (08:24):
And you do see that a lot in the in
the black community, where it's like stop currying, you know,
men up, or even for girls, you know, suck it
up like a man, or take it like why does
it have to be so hard?
Speaker 3 (08:37):
And so you know, there's no great area.
Speaker 5 (08:47):
I think it has to go back.
Speaker 6 (08:48):
To the way that the societal standard of men, the
way men are viewed. I feel like, you know, men
mostly fight wars, right, men mostly do all these hard
and you know, tough things. So you know, there's always
been a stigma attached where you know, don't cry, you
don't do this, you don't do that, right. So I
mean I remember as a kid, my dad telling me
(09:11):
that it was okay for me to cry, and you know,
as a black dad, like.
Speaker 5 (09:15):
That was rare to be heard of, especially in.
Speaker 6 (09:18):
Like the early nineties, like that was rare to have
a dad say it's okay for you to cry. He
probably had similar feelings but were not able to express
those feelings. So I think he wanted to make it
okay for me to do so. And you know, I'm
really not much of a crier. You know, I'm not
really much of like an emotional crier kind of guy.
Speaker 5 (09:40):
Now.
Speaker 6 (09:41):
I react out of like, you know, frustration, and sometimes
I feel like like a little angry. But you know,
as far as like crying, you know, it takes a
lot for me to cry.
Speaker 5 (09:51):
And what I do.
Speaker 6 (09:52):
I usually cry in private because I don't like for
I don't like for people to see me cry.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
Why does that happen?
Speaker 3 (09:58):
I'm a private c as well, you know.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
I think that also, Ladies, tell me if you feel me,
I don't know me. Kid is being raised by a
single mother, immigrant mother, which has really you know, they
have really high expectations for what they expect your future
to be, because they're like, if I crossed you know,
the desert period to get here, you better not cry
over this little patty thing like YO about to that,
(10:23):
you know, so they have very high standards. It's always
a man up, tough enough, Ma Tito you can't cry
keep it up. And I am a private crier. It's like,
I'll cry in the shower to myself. I ye me,
and I'm not gonna say, oh, I give myself advice
like you're doing good. I try to encourage myself and talk,
you know. And it sucks that you have to do
(10:45):
it privately. It sucks that you can't just be open
and vulnerable. And I'm going to talk about it from
even an entertainment side. I work on reality TV keyword work.
I will work on a reality TV show and in
many occasions we touch certain topics that make me vulnerable
and I'm open enough to be emotional about it and
cry and be like, yo, that really hurt my feelings
(11:07):
or that really made me feel some type of way.
And they look at look at this weak bitch, look
at this da dah da da dah. And I'm like,
why are we in a society where when you're emotionally
open like that, it's so perceived in such a negative way.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Instead of being like, damn, I can relate.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
I hate the fact.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
That there's so many people that are stuck in a
room where they can't cry, they can't be vulnerable and
then we see so many people committing suicide or stuck
on drugs or you know, stuck on alcohol or just
trying to find an outlet. Have you ever felt in
a space of like, damn, this is so unfair, Like
I have to come cry in a corner because or
maybe you did bent to someone publicly, maybe a family member,
(11:52):
and then they judge you for it.
Speaker 6 (11:55):
Yeah, you know, I do feel like I have to
cry privately because you know, I don't want people to
see that side of me sometimes. And I know that's
sad to say, because it's like, you know, I'm this
guy that's like everybody should be vulnerable and do this
and that. But I do live this double edge sword where,
you know, in front of my daughters sometimes when I
(12:17):
want to cry, you know, I'll wait until they go
back home with with their mom or you know why why,
I don't know, because it's just like I don't want them,
you know, to see me in that state and maybe possibly,
you know, for some odd reason, see me as like
being weaker, soft.
Speaker 5 (12:34):
Than I am. Yeah, it's soft weak, you know.
Speaker 6 (12:37):
And that's sad to say, because it's like I want
my daughters to be like, you know, daddy has emos's
daddy cries and all this stuff. Yes, I've only cried
in front of my daughters once and it was only
like a like three three little tears and wife them
my real quick.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
And it was like you you know what I mean, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
That's crazy.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
But then at the same time, we expect them to
feel open enough to trust us and talk to us
and be like, it's okay to cry, It's okay to
do this, but you can't see me do it, but
you can come to me and do.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
It and unconsciously, you don't know how that is damaging.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
It's it's you know what, I think that my mom
and I everybody admires our relationship.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
It's a roller coaster because now i'f it.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
Fact, no, nothing is perfect, but people that admire our relationship.
I think the part of it was the fact that
I saw her in so many vulnerable stages and she
allowed me to see it. There's a lot of parents
that they don't want their kids to see them cry.
They don't want them to know that we're struggling. They
don't want No, I want you to see I'm hurting,
I'm human, because then like that you can connect with me.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
You can connect emotionally the struggle, the pain, the sadness,
the whatever it may be.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
Sometimes as a parent, I think it's important for your
children to see the human side of you. Daddy is strong,
but you know what, Daddy has emotions, He has feelings,
like I really heard his feelings or let me not
do this, Like if you can see your parent in
such a not strict light and see them as a
human I think that is very important, and I'm glad
(14:03):
that we touched that because there's so many young parents
out there, just people overall, that the way that we
have to raise our children is different than the way
that we were raised because times have changed. Those things
are important, and talking about the emotional part is important.
Something I else want to talk about because I know
that you've been passionate about it before and you've spoken
about it. Is the physical aspect of what the world
(14:23):
perceives as masculine. I know that men also have a
lot of pressure that for the most part, we don't
hear because we always hear about women talking about how
insecure they feel about their body, how TV, social media,
music videos, all of this makes women feel so insecure
as if we all have to go get surgery.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
My body is not perfect. That da da da da.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
It creates bullieve me, It creates arexia, it creates eating disorders,
it creates so many other things. But we never talk
about the men they go through this. So what is
your perspective when it comes to when it comes to
men and the physical aspect of masculinity.
Speaker 6 (14:57):
There's definitely a harder standard for men to reach when
it comes to reaching that physical version of masculinity because
you know, we'll see these guys that have an extremely
massive amount of muscle or like abs, all these things, right,
and then that's what they portray as being masculine or
being like, you know, ferocious and you know all these
(15:20):
you know, masculine beauty, I would say, right. So it's
like when you have a man that doesn't fit that standard,
you know, men do feel insecure, especially when you know
there's a whole media platform that dedicates their time to
saying this is the way men should look, this is
the way you know men are supposed to look. And
then you have the other aspect of you know, men
(15:42):
should just be who they are, right. Body positivity is
for everybody. It's for every size, every gender, every age,
every race. Right, I want to also talk about height
because people feel short.
Speaker 5 (15:54):
I'm like, mean, he's not a man.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Oh that is true.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
That is true.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
We always see women saying I want a tall man.
I want to So what happens to all the short men? Mean, like,
I never thought about that, but I'm glad that you're
talking about it.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
And by the way, there's gonna go out, you know, there's.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
Gonna be crazy or whatever.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
But then they saw on the Instagram, right, ladies, they
were doing like the survey or whatever about man's penis,
and they were doing it based on height, with.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
All due respect, and they actually.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Saw that most of the shorter men actually had the
large you know, the larger penis. And you're one of
those girls that I need a man. They has Unamama
reads Bay has it.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Well, you know what, you might not want to discredit
the short men because a lot of them be packing.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
So with that being said, a lot of the short
men too, I feel like they have they feel the
need of having to fight. They're like really feisty, and
they have this stigma they can the shorter you are,
the feistier you are, because they feel like they have to.
I don't know, fight against the world for making fun
of them because they're shorter.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
That is so fair.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Just because the man is tall doesn't make him any better.
Speaker 6 (17:04):
Yeah, and now you have this like new version of
BBLS where like men are getting their legs broken to
be taller, and that to me is like fucking sound
like they get they really get dudes out here paying
thousands of dollars the steamers broken in half to be
three to six inches taller. Yeah, that's crazy, Like to me,
(17:26):
that's really crazy.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Because no, no, no, no, no, you can't say that that's
really crazy because when you see the women out here
full of surgery, you think that they look fine as hell.
But anyways, get your boobs done, get stabbed inside so
they can take the fat out, and then they turn
you around and say.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
All the fact they took out of your stomach into
your ass. Then you're laying there for crazy.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
You're really looking that's crazy.
Speaker 5 (17:47):
That's crazy, Like I mean, that's crazy. That is crazy.
That like the whole societal standard has caused people to
feel that way, do you know what I mean? Yeah,
but society has to be held accountable in some way.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
They're not. But if we yeah, they're not.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
But if we lived in a world where it would
be like all of a sudden, it is illegal to
get surgery anywhere and everybody just had to be who
they are.
Speaker 5 (18:13):
Yeah, what a baby.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
Let me tell you, it would be a tough world
out here because a lot of the girls that you
see out here looking all fine and crispy. By the
way she stretched out her eyes, her she faked her eyebrows,
her noses, that her cheekbels are added, her lips is
not hers, her jawline is really not hers. That week
that she got on, plus her tisses that her leg
bulls done, her hits are not real, her ass is faked,
(18:38):
you know when you.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
Were to look at it.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
And then now we're also in the world where men
do the same thing, which is also kind of giving
equality and fairness. Where the men are wearing lace fronts
for though they ain't got no hair, they're adding on
these glued on hairlines.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
You know, they're getting the six packs done.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
Like, we live in a world where we're so faked,
but we expect so much realness from each other.
Speaker 5 (19:06):
That was good. That was good.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Bars, your bars, you know, were living up.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
We live in a world where we expect so much
perfection from each other. We expect these perfect bodies, these
perfect hairlines, these perfect skin, this that all this other craft.
But we expect so much realness from each other, like
be real, to be to me, be honest with me,
be loyal, to be be allest.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
But you're not even that to yourself exactly.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
Yeah, So you know, if we really have to live
in a world where we accepted everyone as they are,
I don't know if well. I mean there was a
time where things were like that, but it would be
very hard to go back. It would be very it
would be very hard to go back. And not to
mention the fact that society, who needs to somewhat be
blamed for it, has made so much money out of
(19:54):
our insecurities.
Speaker 3 (19:56):
For sure, you know, talk about it.
Speaker 6 (19:58):
Men are responsible for the way women feel about the body,
or do you think it's other women? Because there's this
online debate thing that says that men really prefer women
more natural and women and other women that needs to
be in competition with other women?
Speaker 5 (20:18):
Do you think that's true?
Speaker 1 (20:19):
Are for he's looking and swimming data he's looking. I'm
gonna tell you why.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Yeah, you know, why, I honestly think that we're really
messes up the mentality when it comes to the physical
part is porn.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
I'm blaming you. I'm blaming it important because I'm gonna.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
Tell you why.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
When the porn that that these boys grow up as
men to watch, they're looking at these perfect bodies, right.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
The boobs don't even jiggle, most of them.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
They're like all these perfect boobs, the ways the skin
which you know, it's like they have makeup on it.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
It's like a whole thing. I've been on a porno set.
It's definitely not what you see in the movie.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
So there's like a whole you know, production behind this,
and men create this mentality of this is what I want,
this is what makes me hot, this is what I've seen.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
When you look out in the street, you're.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Looking like you're looking for the comfort of your mother,
right with the sexiness of the peel of what you
grew up watching that turned you on on these porn
videos and all this stuff. So you're looking for this
this mix and that mix when you go.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Out here to these streets.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
There's great women out here who are responsible, well educated,
financially stable, all these great things morals, values, but doesn't
look like what you see.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
Or what you what makes you hot, whatever. So it
just puts a really.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
High standard for women to fit into this this perfection.
And then you have society that gives you Victoria's Secret models,
that gives you photoshop images of these women all this
other stuff.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
And I think the.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Women naturally are competitive and we compete against each other.
But between society and the men that we want, we
want you to want us, and you don't want us
because we don't look this way.
Speaker 3 (22:11):
It makes it very hard.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
If you even look at the porn for the most part,
you have some fig guys, but a lot of them
are not even fig.
Speaker 3 (22:18):
They could be fat.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
You could be fat, you could be square, you have
no ass, you can have a little dingling, you have anything,
and we'll still take you.
Speaker 5 (22:26):
That's true.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
So it's very it's very unfair. Is the standards are
very uneven?
Speaker 6 (22:33):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, especially especially when you put it
in that way. You know, I didn't even think about
the whole porn aspect of it, and how young boys
are growing up with this, like you know, with this
ideal like body image of what a woman should be,
and it's hard to shake that when you're like a
fifteen year old boy and you view this, I'm not
a porn and then you're like twenty and you're trying
(22:55):
to get this girl, You're like, wait, she doesn't look
like the girl I saw when I was fifteen.
Speaker 5 (22:59):
Yeah, that's some fuckf.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
And even sexually, and even sexually women, a lot of
them become insecure because I've had this conversation before where
they become insecure because they feel that they have to
do what their men like or what they've seen based.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
On what they've watched.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
It's not even real because if you were to be
on a sess and you see that there's five cameras,
there's the hairstyles, the makeup of this that that does assist.
There's a whole bunch of people making sure that this
image gets created for your entertainment. It makes it unfair
for women as well. So I'm glad that we reached
this topic because these are the things that people think
about a lot of times but don't have the guts
(23:35):
to talk about publicly. And I love the fact that
you are willing to be open, vulnerable, honest, transparent. Maybe
not with your kids, but you might want to work
on that. Yeah, I work on but we need more
people that are willing to be open and honest and
just accept themselves for who they are and still work
on themselves because things are not perfect.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
It's a working process.
Speaker 5 (23:57):
You know.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
I'm so glad to have you working with Find you
all right.
Speaker 6 (24:00):
You can find me on Instagram at Kelvin Davis and
then you can find me on Facebook at no Torsti
Dapper at nottorsidepper dot com.
Speaker 5 (24:09):
And you know you could get my book wherever you
know books are sold.
Speaker 6 (24:12):
It's no how to be a modern dealer maate with
men or telling body confidence.
Speaker 5 (24:16):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
Strong, I know that's right.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
And by the way, guys, listen, if there's anything you
could take home with you today from today's conversation.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
In my eyes, it's just before you go ahead and
judge someone else, especially also you know a man, before
you go judge somebody else, check you first. You know
what I'm saying. It's it's tough out hearing this world
for everybody. Everybody's going through their own struggles in different levels,
in different ways. It'stop being so damn judgmental about somebody's
body about the way they should dress, about the way
that they should act. Mind your own damn business. The
(24:46):
same way that you don't want people to judge you,
let other people be who they are. We were all
born different and that's what makes us us, and that
combination is why we're in this world.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
To accept each other for who we are.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
Whether a man is sure, whether he's and that's another thing, ladies,
if you feel that you have a lot of pressure,
let's also think that men. Men are also going through
their own demons. They're also going through their own struggles
with society in their household, the way that we're raised
at work, whatever it may be. Some judging people for
the how tall they are, what they're wearing this, and
that you know where they live, what car they drive.
(25:21):
Today you could have everything and tomorrow you could lose it,
you know, and vice versa. I've known a lot of
men that didn't have nothing, and all it took was
this one opportunity for his whole life to change. And
you missed out on this good man because of this situation.
So just be more open minded and less judgmental. With
that being said, guys, today's episode, I've really, really enjoyed it,
(25:41):
and if you didn't get an opportunity to, you know,
tell anybody about it, they can go ahead and watch
it again on the YouTube channel. Just go to the
search part and ready. Exactly Amada. Thank you once again
for being part of Exactly Amada. Follow me on Instagram
at Amala al And amadat Latinika al And and remember
that this has been a of Iheart's Microfuda podcast network.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
For more podcasts from.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
My heart, visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or
wherever you listen to your favorite shows. This is your girl,
Amara Negra and you just heard exactly among
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