Gringo's Guide To: Starting Before You're Ready w/ Eliana Reyes

Dramos shares a recording from the Just Be Social Club featuing show runner,actress and film maker Eliana Reyes sharing her journey of making her first documentary about the incarcerations and deportation fo her father.

Email [e-mail] to join the Just Be Social Club

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:06):
Let me talk about here we go.

Speaker 2 (00:11):
He said, you live in life pas a ringo where
you question where you fit in every time you mingle.

Speaker 1 (00:15):
They say, you do this with none of that my
rappings this lingo.

Speaker 2 (00:22):
Yeah, hello, and welcome to another episode of Life as
a Gringo.

Speaker 1 (00:26):
I am dramas of course, and man, I'm really excited.

Speaker 2 (00:32):
I'm gonna be sharing with you a recording from the
just Be Social Club. This was a well Actually, I
should say, anybody that is new here doesn't know what
the just Be Social Club is. Just Be is my
wellness brand, and we have a mastermind group called the
just Be Social Club.

Speaker 1 (00:52):
We actually have two groups that we've done.

Speaker 2 (00:54):
We wrapped up one at the end of last year
and we're in the midst of our second group. But
it's a mastermind group of like minded people who come
together just with the idea of like personal growth and
wanting to do better for themselves and their community and
just have a safe space to kind of grow together, right,
And that's what we're creating with the just Be Social Club.

Speaker 1 (01:15):
So one of the things that we.

Speaker 2 (01:16):
Do for current members and past members is every other
month we have.

Speaker 1 (01:21):
A we call it an expert call right.

Speaker 2 (01:24):
Where you can hop on a zoom with us and
we'll have a different guest and I'll interview them and
we'll talk about their story and can ask them questions,
and basically all this is done with the intention of
seeing somebody who looks like you or comes from your background,
has a similar story, sharing their story and you know,
humanizing the experience of not only you know, chasing your dreams,

(01:47):
but also just living right.

Speaker 1 (01:48):
And I think that's the beauty of it.

Speaker 2 (01:51):
So this is a call we had with Aleanna Hayes,
who's an incredible individual.

Speaker 1 (01:56):
I've had around the podcast before.

Speaker 2 (01:58):
I think it was last season, but we actually dove
a bit deeper into her story. Eleana works in media.
She's a showrunner. She's also been an actress, a model.
She's a filmmaker now with a documentary about her her
family and her father who was incarcerated. So she has
a lot going on and a lot of this is

(02:19):
really just her having an idea and then figuring it
out along the way. And I think that's so incredibly inspiring,
and I know everybody else on the call with her
got a lot out of this, so I wanted to
share it, especially as we're getting ready to launch the
new version of the Just Be Social Club at the
end of this month in April, looking like I believe

(02:41):
it's April twenty ninth is what we're looking at, or
April thirtieth, I think April thirtieth Tuesday, where we're going
to be opening the group up to even more people
and it's gonna be a lot more streamline process. Before
we had kind of done it, you know, via zoom
invite only and it's been amazing, but I want to
just keep creating this and building it out. And the

(03:01):
idea of this is really creating community where we could
have a safe space to share emotions, feelings, stories, but
at the same time a place where you can go
to network and engage with other people from the community,
where you can get you know, content on demand that
might be relevant towards what you're going through, as well
as having like the sort of live monthly meetup that

(03:24):
we do where I'll usually talk about one of the
you know, four pillars of conscious living and just talk
about life in general, where people can you know, ask questions,
pick each other's brain, having the expert calls, all those
different things. Like we're really trying to build this into
a community where it's like a one stop shop where
you can get you know, your your soul advice, you
can maybe find your creative soulmate right, find a partner

(03:47):
in creativity, or even just if you're working on something,
getting real time feedback from people, you know, a safe
space to share what you're working on and getting people's advice,
and they're taking things like that. I think there's so
much value in that. So that we're building with to
just Be Social Club. If you want to be put
on our email list for when we launch it, and
I don't have your email yet, you could just DM

(04:08):
me on Instagram at DJ Dramas and just send me
your email and I'll add it to the list so
we can send it to you when we open that up.
We really want to just build this incredible community that
is just like a one stop shop for everything that
you need and to surround yourself with people who look
like you, come from your background, and are just trying
to improve their life, you know, make their life better

(04:29):
as a whole.

Speaker 1 (04:30):
So that's the goal with just Be Social Club.

Speaker 2 (04:32):
So I wanted to share this this conversation we had,
I think it was the last month, I want to say,
and I was really inspired and energized after and we
got a lot of really good feedback kind of diving
into Eleana story, so I wanted to share it on here. Also,
if you're watching the video version of the podcast, I'm
wearing a sweatshirt as you can. Yeah, there you see it.

(04:52):
We just dropped our new core merchandise merch line. I
hate the word merchandise, but I love it. It says
be you. They're like beautifully embroidered sweatshirts and hats as
well that I feel really passionate about. I just think
it's a great message to be like walking. I feel
like a walking billboard of like positivity when I wear it,

(05:13):
which I love, and it's been really inspiring for me
just creating content around it and things like that. So
that's all out. Just bed NYC is a website if
you want to check that out. We do ship internationally
and that's it for for housekeeping here. I always get
the the like feeling like I should keep talking, like
you don't want to make sure im adding value, But

(05:34):
I'm not gonna keep battling wasting your time. We're gonna
get into the conversation that I had with ies just amazing,
amazing stuff. I think you're gonna be very inspired by
the conversation, so I want to make sure I shared
it with you here.

Speaker 1 (05:44):
On the podcast.

Speaker 2 (05:45):
So without further ado, let's get into an Army Hante segment.

Speaker 3 (05:53):
We'll just kind of.

Speaker 2 (05:54):
Start starting getting into it. I think brand and I
really wanted to have Lea hop on.

Speaker 3 (06:01):
And by the way, this is she's a.

Speaker 2 (06:04):
Actor, oppached the model, a filmmaker, a jack of all trades, just.

Speaker 4 (06:10):
Doing a whole lot of yeah.

Speaker 2 (06:15):
Doing so much, but yeah, I mean is doing doing
so many different things. And I really wanted to have
her come on because I think getting started is the
hardest part. And a lot of times we be talking
ourselves out of shit just because maybe it's the first
time we're doing it, and we think that we are
unworthy of doing said thing. Right, And I was, I

(06:38):
was really sort of inspired when you and I talked.
I had you on the podcast last year, and you've
been working on this, this project amongst all the other
things you do, but like the labor of love this documentary, right,
and it's about your father.

Speaker 5 (06:53):
Yeah, And.

Speaker 2 (06:56):
The idea of a documentary is obviously just fucking wild.
I think for any body who's even done it before,
it's a labor of love much.

Speaker 3 (07:04):
Yeah, but like this is your your first four.

Speaker 2 (07:07):
Ya, and you kind of just like went with this
feeling right of like I need to tell this story.
And I think for a lot of people on this
car have a lot of people who are creative, or
a lot of people who struggle with perfectionism, and myself included,
and sometimes it holds me back from really going in
on an idea and exploring it.

Speaker 3 (07:26):
So I let's start there with with me, then web.

Speaker 2 (07:29):
I mean first and foremost or any but not familiar
to just kind of give us a quick, you know,
a couple of lines of what it's about, and then
sort of this choice you made in going into the
idea of filmmaking, you know, and just figuring it out
along the way.

Speaker 5 (07:44):
Yeah, Okay, Well is a docu film about me and
my siblings reunited with my father after he was released
from serving twenty six years in prison and he was
supported to Dominican republ So you know, we filmed part
of it here in Los Angeles. I have one sibling
here in Los Angeles, and I have other ones in

(08:06):
New York. So we just decided when we found out
that he was going to come out, we decided, okay,
let's tell this story, but not just about this reencounter,
but also about the reintegration, right, Like we're adults, now,
how do we how do we show the story of like,
this is what long term incarceration did to our lives

(08:28):
and our families. Here's how it impacted us. Also here
we are reintegrating. And then what does forgiveness and and
moving forward look like? And it seems really simple because
it's you know, it's really just the story of a family.
But I know that me and my siblings were not
the only ones impacted by long term incarceration. But whatever

(08:50):
the reason is that someone goes in like it's something
that specifically affects black and black brown Latino communities. So
to show that, And I also wanted to show immigration
through the lens of Dominican you know, because we often
see immigration in a certain light, but there's a whole

(09:11):
other there's other populations that are also impacted by immigration
and deportations in the US, and so and so I
wanted to show that as well. So it really is
a story about it's a love letter to forgiveness. Really
what it is.

Speaker 3 (09:26):
I love that love.

Speaker 5 (09:28):
We were like upset, not that were like we hate
our father because we have a good relationship with him.
We always did. We maintained as much communication as you
can maintain with, you know, with your father while he's
in prison it's twenty six years. But really just forgiveness
of everything, because I was even upset on myself a
lot of times for like not knowing how to manage

(09:50):
this relationship or not knowing how to be there or
you know, but it's like who does. Yeah, there's not
a rule book for like here's how you with your
power of a bas yourself. Yeah. Yeah, it's a long story,
but that's pretty much what it is. I like to
call it kind of a love story to a love
letter to forgiveness.

Speaker 3 (10:08):
That's beautiful. I love that.

Speaker 2 (10:10):
Yeah, And it's just happening on Eleanna is talking about
a document documentary that she's working on about her father
who's incarcerated, and the relationship and sort of reuniting with
her siblings and her father after the fact. And I
want to like really break down though, aside from the

(10:30):
story itself, you taking this project upon yourself, Right, you
getting this sort of creative idea in your head and
then just like running one hundred miles an hour towards
it essentially, right, I know you, Like, obviously you do
a lot of different things. You've been working in entertainment
and media for a while now, but this is a

(10:51):
whole other animal. So set the tone for me your
skill set before getting into making this project, Like, what
were you What were your qualifications that made you think
that you.

Speaker 3 (11:03):
Could produce an entire documentary?

Speaker 1 (11:05):
Right?

Speaker 3 (11:05):
What were you?

Speaker 6 (11:07):
You know?

Speaker 1 (11:07):
On paper?

Speaker 7 (11:10):
Right?

Speaker 5 (11:11):
You know what's crazy? I'm audacious, Right, I'm an area retriever.
I would have done it with her without qualifications. I
would have been like, this is what y'all gonna get.
You know what I'm saying, because it's not about y'all. Really,
it's about me and the healing process that is for
me and my family, and it's about honoring this calling
that I received. So for me, filmmaking does come from

(11:31):
a very spiritual place. It doesn't matter anything that I make.
It comes from like something like pulled me to be
like you have to do this, And I might be
like na, like I'm not ready, But if like you
don't do this. So, you know, I think what I
didn't realize because I spent a lot of time in
Minneapolis before I moved out to LA So part of
the reason how I ended up in Minneapolis was because

(11:53):
my father was in jail, so we ended up in
the Midwest. I worked for years and in banking and
project management, and I did know that those project management
skills would translate into everything you need as a filmmaker
to keep to put together the pieces of the ship
and also to get it to move forward. So and

(12:17):
also being a storyteller. Since I was young, I've always been,
whether it's writing stories, performing stories, writing songs. I come
from a spoken word background, so really crafting stories and
getting into the necessity of storytelling that's always been in
my nature. So I literally just had a moment where
I was like, Okay, I'm a producer at LA TV.

(12:39):
I've done this independent, no budget short film series. I've
done spoken word, I've done this, I've done that. Almost
everything that I do revolve around this identity of who
I am, and who I am is a direct impact
of this man being taken away from my life. Right,
So ill was I often I call myself a storyteller
if I don't tell the biggest story of my life.

(13:01):
And that was the impetus. Honestly, it was it was
just kind of like, I have to do this. Did
I know how difficult doing a feature line?

Speaker 6 (13:11):
No?

Speaker 5 (13:12):
I didn't, because I have what I can tell you
that I was that I'm very confident about I know
how to I remember being like, I can do this
because I know what it's like to manage several moving
pieces all in the same direction, you know. So I
knew that, like my production that my producer background, my

(13:35):
project management background was going to help this come through.
But also I knew that I had people in place
that believe in me. That the moment I called and
I was like, yo, I need a VP, you know,
I need an AD, Yo, I need an EP that
they were going to be like, let's do it because
they believed just from stuff that I had done before.
So I really didn't ask me. I kind of was

(14:00):
just like this needs to happen. It was more like,
what do I need to make this happen? And I'm
the type of person, mom, that you got a camera,
You're good at this, You're good at this, all right,
let's go crack it back. So that's really I was.
We didn't have much time to think because we found
out that he was getting released from the BOP system

(14:22):
like just a week or so before. So the whole
film in LA that that was very like last minute,
and then throughout the whole process, the US Marshall, they
kept changing the day to when he was going to
get supported. We didn't know what the process was going
to be like. So everything was very like, we're just
in this for this ride, and it was a lot
of anxiety. But most of what I banked on was

(14:46):
my my my love for storytelling and my desire to
have to tell the story. The skills came in kind
of after, you know, because I was like, how am
I going to make this happen? Okay, well this is
no different than any other projects that I've managed, you know,
So and that was it, you know, it's you kind

(15:07):
of just take a step by step, you know. And
what I really flushed it out was when I did
the creative back for my team, when I was like
when I sat down and I was like, Okay, this
is what I want to capture here in LA. This
is what I want to capture in the Minicar Republic.
I had no idea what the Minican Republic was going
to look like. I had no idea if we were
going to be there the day that he came out
of the government building, if we were just going to

(15:28):
like randomly run into him, if I wanted to stage it,
you know, like, I had no idea. I just knew
in my mind. I had this vision of like I
have to get this embrace, you know what I mean,
Like I have to get this first embrace of all
of us embracing each other, because even though we went
to visit him, we never all work together at the
same time during the twenty six years. So I just

(15:50):
kind of imagine it and then and then I kind
of worked backwards. When I imagine these sayings, I was like, Okay,
what do I need to do to make this division
come to life? And then I kind of worked my way.

Speaker 2 (16:01):
Back m hmm, yeah, you right, Yeah. But I love
what you said when you started, where you were saying like,
first and foremost, this is for me more than anything else, right,
And I think I think that's what so many of
us get lost upon because we our mind immediately goes

(16:24):
to the finished product, right And that's where we begin
to start second guessing or what is this person going
to think, Oh my god, it has to look this way,
or us it's fucking awful, right and first and foremost,
it has to be something for you. That's the only
way you're ever going to be able to push through
all the trials and tribulations of it. You know, it's

(16:47):
the only way that you're actually going to be able
to follow through. Right and and more importantly, even if
this becomes the biggest fucking documentary the world has ever seen,
you know, like it first and foremost has to fill
your heart, right, Like that's the most important above any
other accolade. Yeah, And I think even if then the

(17:10):
worst case scenario happens, at the very least, you went
out on this journey and got to scratch your creative
itch and challenge yourself and have fun along the way of.

Speaker 3 (17:20):
Challenging yourself in a new way.

Speaker 2 (17:23):
And the process in itself of even just doing this
project and going after it, you know, you've grown as
a human being, I'd imagine, right, You've learned so much
along the way. And I'm sure it was fun as
just as much as it was stressful. But there was
something fulfilling about it.

Speaker 1 (17:41):
I'm sure, all right, I'm gonna hop in here real quick.

Speaker 2 (17:43):
We will take a quick little break and then we'll
be right back.

Speaker 1 (17:50):
All right, we are back, And.

Speaker 3 (17:52):
That's like where I'm at right now.

Speaker 2 (17:53):
I like to drive home with people. Also, it's like,
let's not always get caught up on the finished product.
Let's also realize that even if they is it by
like ticket to financial freedom, if I'm enjoying it along
the way, that that's still valuable as well. That's that's
something I kind of like try to.

Speaker 3 (18:09):
You know.

Speaker 5 (18:10):
I look at it as like, listen, we don't we
don't seconds ourselves when we work for other people. Right
when you're looking for a job, right if you really
want to become or whatever your quip to take an
internship that doesn't pay you to get to where you're going.
I look at it the same way like your first
big film. It might not be a blockbuster, that's fine.
Is it going to get distributions? The goal is yes,

(18:31):
if it doesn't, the story is so told, the story
is so accessible for those that need to see it.
And the truth is that you know this is something
especially you know for me, it's something that I felt like, Okay,
this is calling me like I need to do this.
At that point, I'm not worried about.

Speaker 8 (18:53):
Not that I'm not worried about feedback, but at the
end of the day, it's like, how are you going
to tell me when this is story?

Speaker 5 (19:00):
Right, This is a story of me and my family,
So whatever the end product is. But when as a director,
you have to say faithful to your vision because if
you don't, especially with documentaries, you don't have a strip
that you're never going to be able to get out
of those lines. A documentary can go many different directions.
At any point. You can have an epiphany while you're

(19:21):
walking away from it and come back and it looks
completely different. So you really have to trust, like, this
is this is how I feel when I watch this.
This is this is me honoring the vision that I had.
This is me honoring the cadence that I wanted to have.
This is me honoring the sequencing and what I believe

(19:42):
makes sense and how to present the story to you guys.
And and for me, it just became one of those
things where it was like it might not be for everybody,
and that's that's okay, you know, what I'm saying, like,
I want to honor the relationship that I know we
have with my father. I want to honor my brothers
being able to to open up because they had never

(20:02):
done that in the past. And I want to honor
just this calling of like we all decided okay, yeah,
let's do it, you know, and that's all that matters
to me.

Speaker 3 (20:12):
You know.

Speaker 5 (20:12):
It's it's an only place to be sometimes, sure, because
you want everyone to like your work and you're like, oh,
I hope people whatever, but whatever day when you're doing
it independently and different, right, if you're creating for a
studio and you have any p from the studio, that's
a whole different bogain, Right, You're also in a different timeline.
You kind of have to do it at their standards.

(20:34):
They wanted to look a certain way, to feel a
certain way. But this is like straight up like grass
roots storyteller, you know, so other than you telling me like, hey,
I think this shot was a little blown out, or
this and this and that. Even then, bro, that might
be the only shot we had. Because with documentaries you
have what you have, you know, right, So it was

(20:54):
like I have to be okay with the fact that
that moment when we saw my father for the first
time and he was walking towards Funny story, right, we
set up we had a red camera here, we had
a canon whatever over there, we had a sony and
then the DP was in a handheld. And you want
to know what the best footage is.

Speaker 8 (21:13):
The best footage is from the ad from behind my
dad walking behind him, wear her freaking iPhone.

Speaker 5 (21:21):
That's the best footage because from the front, you know
what I'm saying, Like where we were meeting, it was
kind of like a bygone like a balcony or whatever
we were dealing. It was nighttime. We had literally just
flown in that night, and we didn't want to be like, oh, prop, wait,
put tomorrow the scene. We were like no, bang, like
let's do this, you know. So we had limited lighting.
We hadn't we had We had only seen the villa

(21:42):
in pictures, so we just kind of did what we
had to do. Like an hour after we landed, we
set everything up. So when I'm going through all the footage,
as amazing as the red camera is, as amazing as
everything is, the absolute most chilling shot is she just
intuitive me was like, I'm gonna record this from the

(22:04):
back justin case, and she was following him up the
stairs and then when he gets to the top of
the stairs, you see his back and then you see
all of us lined up in a palm tree. And
it's to me, that's the most beautiful shot. And it's
from like an iPhone twelve, you know what I'm saying. Yeah,
And I think that's part two of like, as a director,

(22:27):
you can have all the vision and all the things
that you think are going to happen, but you have
to leave room for like things that you don't know
are going to happen. And I didn't know that Ludarina
was going to do that. And at the end of
the day, that's that's the shot we ended up using
for kind of this this building up, this moment of
him coming up the stairs and like when he.

Speaker 8 (22:47):
Finally gets to the top of the stairs and he
sees us, you know, it's like stuff like that that happens.

Speaker 5 (22:54):
Another you know, other things. Was like I didn't know
my brother was going to open up the way that
they did. Yeah, So emotion as a director, I wasn't
prepared to take on talking to my brothers for the
first time about how this emotionally and psychologically and and
just impacted them. So on, like right on site, I
have to I have to figure out several different shootings,

(23:18):
sting several different spots to do these interviews. It's a
lot of unknown and you've got to roll with the punches.
But again it comes back to you trusting you right,
you know, and you knowing that like if you bet
on yourself, there's no wrong way to do it, you know,
And you're going to spend a lifetime trying to figure

(23:39):
out the right way to do it and to trying
to please everybody, and that's it's impossible. So at the
end of the day, it's really about honoring you and
your vision and and believing in yourself. That's why I said,
you've got to be a little bit delusional. Yeah, it's
a little crazy.

Speaker 3 (23:54):
Like you definitely do right well. I think it's I mean,
I like the idea you have.

Speaker 2 (24:00):
This whole thing in the literal sense is like great
advice for filmmaking, but it's also an analogy for everything
else in life, right where it's like you can prepare, prepare,
or prepare, but once you're thrown out there, you have
to be okay with moving with the ebb and flow
of whatever comes up naturally, whatever happens right, the natural

(24:21):
waves of life, the rhythm of life, and you have
to be you know, on your toes and figuring out
the best possible thing that you can do in that
situation and be open to it not looking exactly as
you had it planned in its head, because I also
in your head, because I also think a lot of
times we think that if it doesn't turn out exactly

(24:41):
as planned, and that means it's bad. And that's not
the case. Sometimes things turn out differently, but they're oftentimes
even better. Right, Like that shot you're talking about is
an analogy for that. Never did you think somebody should
be shooting from behind?

Speaker 3 (24:53):
Right? That was like a fluke that you know that
this person just decided to.

Speaker 2 (24:56):
Do it, But like being open to that, even watching
the footage, like all right, let me just check out
what this iPhone footage looks like for the hell of it.
Like that led you to getting a better outcome than
you intended. And I think that's a beautiful analogy for
life and leaving ourselves open to all the stuff that
we're creating or participating. And I think even there was

(25:17):
something else you mentioned about being a project manager, right,
because I'm big on the idea of also, like when
you're listening to people speak, even if their story doesn't
resonate it exactly like not everybody here as a filmmaker,
but pay attention to what you can take from it
and apply to your life in the way that it

(25:38):
makes sense. Right, And it's the same way with skills
we learn on the random mess jobs, beat our jobs
as a teenager or whatever it was along the way experiences,
all that shit can be applied to anywhere, right, Like me,
you know, operating in the entertainment business and running a
business and entertainment, I can use those skills and go
into real estate if I wanted to in some sort

(25:58):
of way and still have a comprehensive understanding of business. Now,
obviously there's certain nuances and things like that. But through
a degree, you can apply those skills that you've learned
in so many different places. And I think a lot
of people sort of fail to maybe take information from
places that are unexpected, or don't give themselves enough credit

(26:19):
for maybe these skills that aren't as obvious but that
they definitely possess. That, you know, give them the ability
to go do whatever else that they really feel like doing.

Speaker 1 (26:28):
If that makes sense.

Speaker 5 (26:30):
I see. I think that all skills are transferable, like
I think a lot of people, you know, because we're
stuck on job titles. I always tell people listen, when
you're looking to change careers or when you're looking to
change the job or whatever, it's not about the job title.
It's about the skills, Like what are you doing at
that job? Because nine percent of the time it's gonna

(26:53):
chance it's going to transfer. That's why I remember when
I was at the title reserve as a project manager
deep in finance. I remember fighting to because they had
me as like a business analyst or something like that,
and I was like, I'm not a business analyst and
they're like, oh, we don't have another title. But I
actually like advocated through HRY. It's like a whole thing.
There's like a whole new career path that would started

(27:14):
because of me, because I was like, that title does
not resonate with what I actually do, and that title
is going to pigeonhole me, not only mentally, but it's
going to pigeonhole me like physically, Like if I put
on Lincoln. I'm a business analyst. It's finance. There's no
you know what I'm saying. So we changed as a
project coordinator and then eventually it was project manager and
the project director or whatever. But all those skills are transferable,

(27:38):
and that's something that, like I think is really important,
and I think in anything that you do in life,
because I feel like we're out of time where a
lot of people are realizing like where is my time going?
You know, and a lot of people like we have
to work, like we have to pay our bills, and
you know, you might not be in a position where
you could just be a whole time self employed person.

(28:01):
You have to have a job or you have to
have it. You have to do this. But if you
want to get out of your industry, if you want
to move around in different industries and do different things,
really focus on just like what are you doing every day,
Like what are the skills that you're using, because that's
what's going to make you stand out, whether it's in filmmaking,
whether it's in music, whether it's you know, completely changing

(28:21):
to a different company or a different industry. Like I said,
I had no idea that the way I was running
things at the FED, and the way I was having
to communicate with people, the way that I was having
to put together these proposals and all of it like
it's the same thing, well, proposal, Well, when I submit,

(28:41):
if I want to do an independent shoot, I have
to submit a proposal to someone. I have to say, Hey,
here's my vision, here's what I can do for you,
here's my team, here's what basis is for you, here's
our budget. You know, when I'm creating a project, I
have to create a creator. I have to make a
creative debt, so you know those skills of like vision
to paper, you know that synthesizing of information too, like

(29:04):
simple skill that I didn't know I had. Right in
the stommaking process, I've been working close with the editor,
so I'm the story producer as well of the documentary,
which takes a lot of energy because they're going through
all of the footage and they're figuring out, okay, from
this time code to this time code, then from that
time code. I want you to go to this footage
and go from this timecode to that time quote. And

(29:26):
it's like taking this idea you have in your mind
visually and translating it into numbers and then putting it
into an expel sheet so that.

Speaker 8 (29:35):
The editor on his end can then go through the
footage on his own and literally cut those timecodes and.

Speaker 5 (29:42):
Start piecing together this sequence. And I had no idea.

Speaker 8 (29:48):
That I had that skill, and a lot of it
came from the work I did at the fact, you
know what I'm saying, Like, but I just I always
tell people I've never underestimated or never.

Speaker 5 (30:00):
Regret the time that you're spent. Listen, millennial, we didn't
know that things were profitable, right, Like the world was
presented to us in a certain way and then and
now we're like, oh, I could do this, like right right,
So a lot of us are kind of like, wait
a minute, I don't have to sit here and like,
you know, wait till I've worked somewhere for forty years

(30:21):
to then start living my life. So I'm really big.
I'm telling people, like, don't regret the time that you
spent doing something that you know, maybe you weren't happy doing,
or maybe that you didn't know you know, like like
you don't know how that job or how those skills
are going to help you get to the next level

(30:41):
of where you're actually supposed to be.

Speaker 2 (30:43):
It's all interconnected, like yeah, no, and even I also
love where you're like you knew about it like a
week in advance, like Okay, we got a week where
we're gonna just started setting all this up, and I
think that's like that that so you basically, in that
moment finding out I have a week to set all
this up, you're put at a very significant sort of

(31:05):
fork in the road. You can either say I don't
have the time to set this up the way I
want to, that's not right for right now. We're gonna
have to put this project off but it's just not
meant to be right, or you take the other path
you said, and you're just like, fuck it. I'm going
to figure out as much as I possibly can because
I want to do this. I'm not going to lose that,
you know, and then for their momentum build. I mean,

(31:26):
I take me into that point because I think a
lot of people, I think a lot of times we
don't realize opportunities are going to present themselves in some
of the most uncomfortable manners. You know, like it's going
to be like this is your shot, it's not how
you planned it to be it is. It feels like
chaos and dive in or lose this opportunity basically, and

(31:47):
that's your choice. And a lot of people to come
to fear at times end up losing on opportunities. And
we've all been there in different aspects of our lives.
But I want to know like in that moment you're
going through your mind that made you actually take the
other you know, uh fork in the road and actually
just be like, fuck it, I'm gonna try and figure
this out in the next week.

Speaker 3 (32:06):
It's that's what's gonna happen.

Speaker 5 (32:08):
Yeah, you know, a lot of it is surrendering. It
sounds crazy because there's a physical element of like I
have to go do this, but there's a mental element
of surrendering. So the the you know, the other option
is rooted in fear and perfectionism. You know, this option
is rooted in I'm gonna love myself regardless of what

(32:32):
this outcome is, and I'm gonna do this regardless of
what it looks like. So it's not up to me
what it looks like. I'm the vessel to make to
get this done. I just have to put one foot
in front of the others. So that's really how I
looked at it. And to be completely honest, I before
I did the creative debt, I really I didn't know,

(32:52):
like what is this going to look like? And I
thought it was going to be a short documentary because
I was like, Yo, I was like, we could go
with I had literally bought the new iPhone. I was like,
we can go out there. We could do this on iPhones,
Like there's films and film festivals that are done on iPhones,
you know. And my brother he was like, nah, like
let's do it legit and this and this and that.
And I was like, well, you got legit money.

Speaker 8 (33:16):
And I'm just lucky that I have people that either
owed me favors or that really believed in me.

Speaker 5 (33:21):
And they hopped on a plane and met us in
dr It was kind of crazy. Yeah, I can tell
you that I didn't get the vision for how I
wanted things to look and feel until the day that
we got the call that he was actually released from
the Bop system, which was December twenty third, twenty twenty three.

(33:45):
Right that night, I went home and I sat down
and I dipped Glable the music or whatever, and a
song just came to me. Literally, it just came to me,
and I was like, I couldn't start, and I just
started writing a song. And then as I'm writing this
song and I'm like singing this song into my laptop
on girl, I started to with the song, I started

(34:06):
to piece together the film and what's really wild and
I and I don't know if this is just this
we will manifestation thing, or if this is actually something
that I alchemized, is that the way that it ended
up happening is exactly how I saw it when I

(34:27):
was writing this song, and the song is the song
that you hear when this big moment is happening. But
we had already been filming in La at that point.
I was just collecting footage. And I think that that
is that's a big part of documentaries, right if you
have an idea of the story you want to tell,
so you just start collecting footage. But really the art

(34:49):
happens in story producers and you sit down and you
go to the footage and you're like, Okay, this would
be good for this, this would be a opening. This
interview needs to go here. That person needs to talk
after this person, because this person is the precipice to
that person's role in the story, and it just if
it really just was a process of like surrendering and

(35:11):
working with what I had. So I was like, there's
no way that I'm not going to put together a
dope story if I don't get dope stop footage. So
I just focused on getting dope footage. Yeah, and then
I worried about the story telling me how I wanted
to be cold in my story, producing time and post production.
And that's the type of surrendering I'm talking about, right, Like,

(35:32):
had I went in there with a very strict like
this needs to happen here and that needs to happen there,
Number one, it would have it would have fucked with
the just the energy of all of us coming together
and like this organic, this organic moment that was happening,
right even if I was spending time together, Had I
been so regimented and restricted, it would have added an

(35:52):
unnecessary stress to the moment. But also I feel like
I would have missed out on a lot of things,
like simple thing. One of my uncles, he's that uncle
that always pops up out a barbecue with like friends
and you're like, who is this, Like he's one of those.
So we're about to go film to a gamble. He
hops in the car with a lady and I'm like,
I'm like, come on time to this, you know, like

(36:15):
was like daylight and he knows that. And I was
like fussy. And she was my father's sixth grade teacher
in the car, so I was like, oh, I was like,
do you still come to talking on camera? She was like, see,
I've even got to the party. Can look at kid.
I like whatever. So we did a little interview with

(36:36):
his freaking sixth grade teacher who hadn't seen him, you know,
because my uncle I don't even know how he ran
to this lady, but she was in the car with us.
She was the man. So it's like, you know, had
I not had just like the flexibility to just like
do that, or other moments where the DPS he would
just kind of go off and he would like He's like, oh,

(36:57):
there's this really cool you know spot over here, or
there as some kids playing on this rift over here.
There's just so many magical moments that happened that weren't
necessarily like pre plan I think that when you're telling
a story, you you do have to I look at
stories that have like their own entity. I'm just a

(37:18):
vessel to tell them, right, And so a lot of
times for me, I let them. I let the story
tell me how it wants to be told. And you
do that by honoring the process. And a lot of
people are obsessed with the output because all we see
is output, and they don't fall in love with the process.
And creating is a very vulnerable, very personal process. And

(37:42):
you have to be able to go through all the stuff.
If I tell you how many breakdowns I had through
this by how many fights I got into with my
older brother, with my brother, right, how many disagreements, how
many arguments I've gotten into with my dad? Do you know,
not just because I don't love him, but because I'm
reintegrating this man into my life? You know what I'm
saying round as woman now, all while still trying to

(38:03):
tell this story. And I would have to take a
breath and come back to it, and then I'd be
like it would be like after a conversation or after
i'd have one of these arguments, for one of these
like great conversations with one of my siblings, I'd be like, hump,
and then I'd go back and I'd like sit in
front of the footage and then the footage would literally
be like I need to go here, and then I
would just be like, boom, this needs to go here,

(38:25):
this needs to go there. But it's weird because as
a director, people think that you are like overmanaging everything
and micro managing everything, and you do in a sense.
You have to have a good handle on all of
these moving parts that support the ships that you're searing.
But at the end of the day, you also have

(38:46):
to let the waves take the ship because if you
if you try to fight against the way, we don't
know what happens, Like the ship is going to put over,
you know what I'm saying. So there is an art
in even though directing is a very masculine energy job,
there is a part of it that you have to
embrace the very feminine piece of it, which is being

(39:06):
in the flow. And I think that applies to everything
in life. You know. Yeah, there's an element of linear
and then there's an element of flow, and you have
to find that magic space in between. You know.

Speaker 3 (39:20):
Yeah, it's like it's an active surrender, you know.

Speaker 2 (39:24):
It's it's not just like all right, I'm gonna sit
in my bed and life is gonna come to me.

Speaker 3 (39:29):
It's not like that.

Speaker 2 (39:30):
It's like, you know, like what sticks to me is
like even before you had the real storyline in your head,
you're still collecting.

Speaker 4 (39:37):
Footage, right, so like you're taking action and then you're
just like, listen, I'm gonna do what I can do now,
and the rest is gonna come to me naturally, you
know what I mean, Like the the I'm gonna receive
the download of the message just by sheer, uh, you know,
by just by me taking action.

Speaker 9 (39:52):
It's gonna fucking shake something loose eventually, right, And I
think that's that's sort of what it is that we
talk about with the idea of surrend, right, because I
think when it's not explained properly, it's just.

Speaker 3 (40:03):
People just think I just supposed to keep going about life.
That's gonna happen.

Speaker 10 (40:06):
We don't just like sit there and give up and
let Yeah, that's like a secret.

Speaker 3 (40:15):
That's like a secret they tell you.

Speaker 4 (40:17):
Manifesting is just like write some ship down a piece
of paper and think about it and then you just.

Speaker 2 (40:20):
Go about your day and next thing you know, it's
gonna fucking you get a check for a million dollars.
It's like there's there's a whole process of taking action,
and belief obviously is a part of it, but like
the literal you know thing is you're just you're going
after things, but you're.

Speaker 3 (40:33):
Not being so rigid in it.

Speaker 2 (40:35):
You're you're understanding that what is unknown will eventually present
itself as a result of you just fucking trying and
trial and error and putting yourself out there and going
for it.

Speaker 3 (40:44):
You know.

Speaker 2 (40:45):
And and I think that's the the sort of beauty
to to you know, the creation process and and and
the idea of surrender. You know, all right, I'm hopping
here one more time. We'll take a quick break and
then we'll be right back. A right, we are back, And.

Speaker 3 (41:02):
I want to get this is pop in my head.
How long has this project going on?

Speaker 5 (41:06):
A year and a half? No, well, yeah, a year?
A year? And what are we a year and three months?

Speaker 3 (41:13):
And that's a substantial amount of time to not have
a tangible thing in your hand at this point, necessarily, right.

Speaker 2 (41:22):
And I think that is is also a part of
the discipline that it takes to bring ideas to life.

Speaker 1 (41:31):
Is no because what was your way?

Speaker 2 (41:33):
What was your projected timeline just out of curiosity, did
you think it'd be quicker listen?

Speaker 5 (41:37):
Yes, When I thought that it was a short, I
thought that this was going to be done, like we
filmed in January of twenty twenty three, and I thought,
by like May, I would have short ready because I
could do a short in that in that, yeah, fine,
And this is a lot of a lot of the
like budding heads that me and my brother were had,
because he's a very like yo, like let's say on

(41:59):
schedule business that and then I would be like, Yep, Nope,
that's not happening. I was like the process needs more time,
or like it's not coming to me, or I need
to step away from it because if I remember, I'm
not telling your story, I'm not telling someone else's story.
I'm looking at myself five on camera. I'm looking at
myself and break my father for the first time in
twenty six years and watching him cry and fall to

(42:21):
his knees, and like it's a lot. And it's like
every time I thought about, oh my god, I have
to sit here and have a six hour editing session
with my editor, it was daunting, you know what I'm saying.
And it takes a lot of me balancing my emotions
as well to be able to put this story together,

(42:45):
process my emotions and also stay in a place where
I can suggestively look at the process. Yeah, and you
know as a consumer. So it's been it's been challenging.
And then the longer the footage gets right. This is
my first time doing something that's an hour and a half.

(43:05):
So when you're filming and when you're when you look
at a film in these in these pro in these
in these programs like da Vincure Resolve, which is where
we're editing right when it's like five minutes whatever, you know, Yeah,
a couple of little colors or whatever line. But think
about this timeline of like little itty bitty micro little
pieces of like different colors. And every time you say, hmm,

(43:29):
drama's interviews need to come before Alana's interview, you have
to disconnect the entire timeline and moved it around and
pray to God that you didn't like delete something or
set the timeline. And it's nerve wracking. And I've been
doing it remote. So I've been doing it on the
thirteenth in streams pro Zoom with my editor in Minneapolish,

(43:53):
so we're finding him out for this final edit to
get it final license. The cut is done. Now we're
just embellishing, you know, and making it look funny. But
it's it's been wild, yo, it's been well. And it
also brought up a lot of uh things that I
didn't know I needed to heal through. So it's also
been a healing journey. That's for me, but for my father.

(44:15):
From my siblings, I don't think we realized what exactly
happened in dr until months later. And I also don't
think we realized that, like our sense of identity kind
of changed because for so long you're like, you're like
this kid that whose dad is in jail and you know,
and it's part of your identity, and no, well he's

(44:37):
here and he is he is wanting to reintegraate, and
he's calling you every day and sending you the tiktoks
and what's up, and sending you all the weird piano songs.
So you kind of have to like refigure out who
you are because this wound is now supposed to be closed,

(44:59):
or it's supposed to be in the process of clothing,
and some of us are more comfortable being wounded than
being healed. So that was happening too in this at
the same time that my actual career took a huge
Just another example of surrendering is like I modeled for years.
I asked it for years, like to tons of commercials,

(45:21):
lots of my modeling print stuff. All of a sudden
it just stopped working. And then I got offered just
this job as a producer. And do you think that
when they were like, hey, you want you to produce
these two TV shows that I was like, oh, yeah,
I can do that. I've done that before. Hell no,
I was like, I'm don't figure it out. And then
they offered me a salary job as a showrunner, so

(45:42):
they wanted me to completely take over the pillars. So
an interesting thing that happened that I didn't know what
was going to happen was that, you know, my life
went from oh I did a modeling gig here, I
can live off of it for two months. Oh I
did a commercial here, I can live off of it
for two months. So now I'm working forty something hours
a week using the same muscle that I have to

(46:03):
use to make the film. I'm using that same muscle
to cut these episodes and direct and produce these episodes
at work. So the level of the option that that
I was experiencing, I'm just kind of coming out of
that because it's it's a lot of splitting your brain

(46:23):
and ten million different you know, directions and it and
it did affect my health to the point where I
ended up having to go to the hospital and like
they were diagnosed. And now I have to now I'm
on the wellness journey and and I've had to like
take weight off, and I've had to reassess how I eat,
and I've had to reassess how I take care of

(46:43):
myself and and how I you know, feed inflammation in
my body because because of the shop. So still Megan
is not just film making. It's a it's a Avas
Vernie said it in her new Massacre, She's like, you
are a director of your life, like you choose to
make a film. When you are a director, it's it's

(47:06):
literally like it's it's kind of like a condensed fast
track of life, you know, all of it, figuring things out,
you know, honooring your vision, managing egos and relationships, managing money,
you know, everything that you have to do in your life.
You're doing that in a very incutated process with filmmaking,

(47:29):
and it could be very emotional. And and then to
do to be a big filmmaker, you got to be vulnerable.
So you're throwing yourself into this like emotional journey of unknown.
You only have so much control of it, and then
it requires you to be vulnerable. So I I don't

(47:50):
know why I chose this, but I absolutely love it.
I love the process, and it's and now to the
point where I can say, you know what, you know,
you're actually really good at this, you know, and and
you should you should.

Speaker 6 (48:07):
Take ownership of that.

Speaker 5 (48:09):
You're a really great producer, You're a really great like
you know block and being director and filmmaker. And and
I'm just now giving myself permission to be like, you
know what, Yeah I am, and I can do these things.
And when bigger opportunities come, I'll be ready because I've
done it all with no budget. You know.

Speaker 2 (48:32):
Yeah, I believe, like, oh, one person that's like the
that sometimes that's the only thing that's getting you through
is that little belief that you got, you know what
I mean, Because sometimes the outside world is always going
to see what the fuck you see? So they have
a hard time believing in in what it is that
you're creating and what you're crafting. And you have to

(48:54):
be your own biggest fan at times to get through
some of those more difficult moments. I mean, there's it's
too thing want I want to touch on the vulnerabille thing,
vulnerability thing for.

Speaker 3 (49:03):
Sure, But before I get to that, you had.

Speaker 2 (49:07):
Just talking about like it's mentally exhausting, is what you're
talking about this whole process, right, It's like it's a
different kind of tired. You know, it takes a lot
of brain power to be sitting there meticulously looking at
things and and you know, racking your brain about what's
the best shot or where this goes, blah blah blah,
like all these little nuances of things.

Speaker 3 (49:27):
And I think when a project like this one, which
is incredibly overwhelming.

Speaker 2 (49:31):
Because of what's involved in it, it's easy to talk
yourself out of it, even after you've done so much
of the work already, right, especially when you're feeling tired,
uh or or when you're past what you know, the
time period you thought it was going to be. And
then there's also the other side of it where your
brain is actually right, you do need to take a break,
you know, for your own health and things like that.
And I think that that's another really difficult balancing act

(49:56):
to know what is sort of maybe uh self sabotage speaking,
or what is legitimately your mind telling you what would
be healthiest for you.

Speaker 3 (50:06):
And I think myself included. So many creative people.

Speaker 2 (50:09):
Have trouble delegating or or deciphering which is the actual
right voice that they should be listening to, like which
is actually trying to help them, or which is them
just sabotaging them from actually achieving their greatness.

Speaker 3 (50:22):
Because this is really challenging.

Speaker 2 (50:23):
I'm curious, do you, if they have any insight on
how you figure out what is the proper voice to
be listening to in your mind?

Speaker 5 (50:34):
That's a good question. I can tell you that because
of the structors around this projects, because of some of
the relationship stress around this project, there are several contracts
I was gonna be like, I'm not doing this, you
know what I'm saying. Sure, And then there was a

(50:57):
time where life was like picture apps down, you know,
And I think the way that I try to do it,
I'm still learning. You know. The way that I try
to differentiate it too, is that at one it's scarcity based,
and you can tell because it spikes your nervous system.

(51:17):
It it puts you in a place where you start
to only see the negative, where you start to you
you start to almost like resent the like the the
what you're creating, like it's a weird st energy. So
I always I always try to say, like is this

(51:40):
I'm like, no, this is some bullshit. You know what
I'm saying, Like, this is scarcity showing up. This is
nervousness showing up. And so I I when I can
identify it. For me, journaling is my is my thing
where I allow myself to not I don't even call
it journaling. I call it jump writing. Yeah, so any

(52:02):
of those negative I just allow myself to put them
onto the paper, right to get rid of them. Whatever
the thoughts are, whatever those doubts are, you just got
to get them out of your head. I have a
good friend that once told me, like, so, like ninety
percent of anxiety is in the head, and so the
number one thing you have to do is drop to
your body, and so simple things like shocking your your

(52:25):
your system, like putting your hands on the cold water.
That's why tapping really works, because it takes you out
of here and it puts you into like, you know,
other sensations going for a walk. There have been dates
where I wake up and all I see and feel
is negative about the project that I'm going my life,

(52:47):
and I have to go and recalibrate and reset. And
that's how I know. I'm like, this is not me
and this doesn't feel authentic to my original intent with
this project. So you have to have that self awareness.
I try to always be self aware in that way.

(53:07):
And then the other way that it happened was legit,
like I put on so much weight. I was so
and not that that matters, but it was like in
a small amount of time, like my body kind of
grew up. My stomach got really big. I started having
a lot of issues like women's health issues. I like
I stopped eating, Like it was weird, Like I wasn't

(53:27):
big because I was overeating. I like wasn't eating. And
I didn't realize that my anxiety was showing up in
me skipping meals, you know, And and it's a it's
a form of anxiety that that shows up and I'm not.
I'm not the anxious person that's gonna like get nervous
in front of people whatever. I guess I'm the anxious
person that's just not gonna eat. You know. It's like

(53:49):
my body's way of like you know, hiding but also
feeling stressed because everything about my life is I can't
necessarily show it all the time, you know what I'm saying.
So when that happened, and I ended up in the hospital,
and then I met this doctor through my show and

(54:11):
she was like, hmm, something sounds office to come see me.
And then in a month she decreested that like nobody
had done my entire life. And I ended up finding
out I had like stage four in the betrialsis, which
is like I'm like, first, well, I'm like comes in
stages and and it was it was like really really
affecting my life. And and then I didn't know that

(54:31):
some of the foods that I love to eat that
aren't necessarily bad foods, but they are horrible like inflammatory
agents and uh. And so then that's where my my
my collaboration with Mafiadios came in, where I'm collaborating with
her now to be the transformation of her like to
supplements and true training, because.

Speaker 11 (54:54):
You know, a lot of times we don't realize that
when we're putting in our body is affecting us mentally,
affect our anxiety, it's affecting our creativity, and it's all
sorts in our food and the way.

Speaker 5 (55:05):
That we address nutrition. You know. So I had to
be complete, like literally this this is like in November
where my body hit rock bound, Like it literally hit
rock like throw fact was out of control. My cholesterol
got out of control. It was hard to get out
of bed physically, it was hard for me to do things.

(55:26):
I was got to beyond measure. So that's when I know,
you know, like those are signs that I'm like okay.
And then to have something like a diagnosis of of
something like that, I was just kind of like, okay,
So this is real and I need to find balance,
you know, and I need to understand that, like these

(55:49):
stories are gonna get told if I'm dead, you know,
so take care of ourselves in a better way.

Speaker 1 (55:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (55:58):
So also, you know, because there's a lot of people,
and especially as people of color, like we are doers
and doers and doers and we're gonna keep doing it,
and we're gonna keep doing and avoiding and doing, you know.
And and unfortunately right now there's an epidemic but a
lot of black and Latino people dye.

Speaker 10 (56:18):
Of just like just that you want to think of it,
like partiac aros and like getting diabetes and all this stuff.

Speaker 5 (56:25):
So I feel like that really gave me a wake
up call and a chance to be like, hey, I
want you to fulfill this purpose, but I need you
to take care of yourself first. And so that's that's
when I knew it wasn't it wasn't just me being
like lazy or tired or procrastinating, because that's the thing,
you know, you know. But then I also found out

(56:47):
that procrastination is a trauma response, you know. And and
so I'm still working to achieve balance. But I think
once I feel that it's coming from scarcity and fear,
I can then say, Okay, this is not me, per se,
this is everything around me telling me you're not good enough,

(57:11):
you can't do this. Who do you think you are?

Speaker 2 (57:14):
Right?

Speaker 5 (57:14):
You think you can do this? You know? Yea? And
everybody goes to that you just have to. I always
tell people, like, you know, we spend so much time
learning things outside of ourselves, Like we really have to
spend time learning ourselves. If you, if you, if we can,
if we pay, The greatest project you will ever take on,

(57:34):
the greatest anything you will ever do, is learning yourself.
And I think that if more of us went in
and studied ourselves, then the fact we can be like
a Aleana, you're you're operating in scarcity, like go for
a walk, go do something you love, or go I
don't know, go do something the ten year older you love,
both paint in the colored book or watch Rocky for

(57:57):
or whatever. To kick you out of your phone, go
through that. But having that self awareness is cheating. Yeah,
life can draw you in a lot of different directions.
The next thing, you know, you're not even like living
your own life. You're just like living to please all
of these external things that have nothing. Yes, what you're

(58:17):
actually here for?

Speaker 3 (58:19):
No, No, absolutely.

Speaker 2 (58:20):
And also it's like, you know, you have to look
at yourself like an operating system, right, and what is
going to achieve the best results in set operating system right,
and that is awareness and knowing yourself. Like I've been
figuring this out even like very recently, where I've like
a to do list, and I'm like, by the time
Thursday hits, I'm exhausted from the week. So me scheduling

(58:42):
difficult things on Thursdays and Fridays is setting myself up
for disaster because I'm tired, I'm not giving it my
best effort, or I end up not even checking it
off to the do list, and then I'm beating myself
up because I didn't finish the to do list right
where now it's like, I know my best days are
Monday Tuesday. Schedule the hardship at the beginning of the week,
so therefore I get it over and dub with, and
I'm setting myself up for when I am tired, when

(59:05):
I am beat up by the week, I have an
easy slate of things that can ease me down, and
I'm then operating far happier because I got the important
stuff done first, you know, and the rest of this
stuff is just little shit that's not really going to
affect me, you know. But that's all coming from like
taking notes on, Okay, how am I feeling right now,
what is actually working, what is not working right?

Speaker 3 (59:23):
Where am I where can I improve upon?

Speaker 5 (59:26):
You know?

Speaker 2 (59:26):
What I'm already doing, and that is awareness and your
health and all that stuff. Like for me, I don't
sacrifice my sleep for nobody, you know, like that's that's
you know, those are non negotiables for me. Before I
would sleep two hours and be like I think I
was cool because I was burning the canda like that.
It's like, you know, like that's not to be proud of.

Speaker 3 (59:43):
I'm not.

Speaker 2 (59:44):
I'm not operating up my best self. I'm destroying my body.
That is the thing I need to actually be able
to live this life. And I'm hoping to get to live,
you know, and that's all important to be minds love.
So I want to if he me has any questions
or comments, you can start getting that mentally prepared. But
I do want to just end on the idea of vulnerability,
like I'd love to hear quickly just you whatever messaging

(01:00:10):
you had to tell yourself to be okay with being vulnerable,
particularly on camera talking about family shit that is so
taboo in general, right and and and being able to
open yourself up in that way, knowing that it's gonna
be great for the film, but also probably it's going
to be a really amazing way for you to find

(01:00:32):
healing as well.

Speaker 5 (01:00:34):
Yeah, I remember telling myself when I sat down in
front of the camera, I was the last one to
do the interviews. I remember saying, if this wasn't meant
to happen, you wouldn't be here. And I think like
that gave me just like a security of like so
much had happened to get me to that point where
I was sitting in front of the camera and I

(01:00:56):
would open up about my pain and I would cry
in front of people, you know. So it was a
lot of it was that if this isn't meant to happen,
you wouldn't be here. If you were not meant to
do this, you wouldn't have these skills, if you were
not meant to do this, your friends wouldn't have said
yes and met you in Dominican Republic, you know. So
I kind of had this inner dialogue of this is

(01:01:21):
meant to happen, and this is not only for us,
this is going to be for other families as well,
and it's also for me personally to to kind of
I don't want to say proved, but to be able
to say like to affirm, yeah, I'm meant to do this,

(01:01:47):
you know. So my vulnerability came. My ability to be
vulnerable came from giving myself back security that nobody else
could give me. You know, so many people are like, oh,
you're going to degrae, Oh it's going to be fine,
Oh this and this and that bada. But I needed
to be the one and to be honest, I wasn't
speaking to me per se, to the thirty eight year
old me, was really speaking to the ten year old me,

(01:02:10):
you know, the ten to twelve year old me who
lost her father, who had to go through that pain.
Because it's different when that happens when you're two, three
four years old and when you are in your teenage years,
form dear, when you have established a relationship with your
parents where you are a total daddy's girl and every
summer you're looking forward to go to CRS on time
is your dad? So I was. I had to comfort

(01:02:31):
her so that I could be vulnerable because I was
exposing her. I wasn't necessarily exposing me right now. And
also a lot of that vulnerability came from being honest
with that version of myself, giving her security, but also
knowing that once I did that, she was going to

(01:02:52):
feel so much better, you know, what I'm saying, and
I've done like past self meditation or whatever, where you
kind of see yourself, you see the younger versions of yourself.
And I remember seeing that version of me, that that
tens to thirteen year old version of me. Something happened
to her, right, and I know exactly what it is
and what we're rooted in, and and she wasn't dancing,

(01:03:16):
and she wasn't like playing with her color and books.
That she was not the Eleana that you know that
I remember her being. And it's a lot of times
it is this like unhealed child's boom. So I remember
sitting in that chair and my Grandma's lands in the
Midigran Republic, being like, we're going to be vulnerable, and
not just to heal ourselves, but to heal our past

(01:03:38):
selves and to also feel the generations coming because when
you heal, you're not just healing yourself, you're healing you're
kind of setting a new, a new path for the
lineage that's coming after you. So I just kind of
have to give myself the security that it was okay
for me to be open and vulnerable. And I'm still nervous.

(01:04:01):
I'm not gonna lie like, you know, I was really
emotional bad for the song. Do people really haven't seen
the film publicly. I'm just now starting to sprinkle the
crowdfunding me, which has a teaser in the in the
crowdfunding video, and I'm still kind of like, oh my god,
people are going to see me like a mess, like
I do well, I don't go well.

Speaker 10 (01:04:22):
In the documentary you can tell that I am stressed,
like it's like visibly noticeable.

Speaker 5 (01:04:29):
But I was just like, it's this, this is what
it is, you know. And and after you create something
like that, everything else is funny games.

Speaker 3 (01:04:40):
Yeah, it's freeing, you know.

Speaker 2 (01:04:42):
And I think I think that's what as scary as
it is to be vulnerable, it's like the more you
do it, the like lighter you feel, you know. And
and there's something really beautiful about I have my parents
on on my podcast this this last week, and I
was so nervous, like it was the second time I
had a mom, but like this was this one got
really deep and I remember after I felt like lighter,

(01:05:05):
I just felt like good. I felt uh like I
had cried it for my parents the first time and
god knows how long.

Speaker 3 (01:05:10):
And I remember like.

Speaker 2 (01:05:13):
Feeling so grateful for just having released that, like that
was held up inside of you for so.

Speaker 3 (01:05:18):
Long, you know, and and you know, and then you
think about the greater good.

Speaker 2 (01:05:22):
It's like, hopefully this touches somebody else and and you know,
leaves them with some sort of impact, you know.

Speaker 3 (01:05:29):
And I think that's that's like something I've read about
a lot.

Speaker 2 (01:05:32):
It's like the idea for human beings to really be happy,
we have to be living for something bigger than ourselves,
you know. That's that's real fulfillment at the end of
the day, which is it's just a beautiful thing.

Speaker 1 (01:05:42):
Yeah, yeah, that's what it is.

Speaker 5 (01:05:44):
A lot of people get caught up in like artists
pretty art is this art is that money? Are? You
started because of a necessity to heal and to communicate
and you know what I'm saying. First it then became
a source of entertainment. But it's like, you know, what
I'm creating is art at it most vulnerable.

Speaker 2 (01:06:05):
Yeah, that's the most freeing, you know that that that's like,
that's that's really you know, the beauty of life is
exposing yourself in that way, you know, and holding on
to less and less, which is it's just amazing.

Speaker 3 (01:06:20):
So I appreciate you sharing, sharing all this and coming
on here, like I feel, I feel great about it.

Speaker 2 (01:06:26):
I feel like I always love hearing other people's thought
process processes in these really difficult moments and like the
ups and downs of it all. And I also think
it's comforting to know you're not alone in that journey,
right that that we're all we're all like, yeah, he's
on Instagram where you're like, oh, look they're doing that,
they're doing this, but like, you know, the behind the scenes.

Speaker 12 (01:06:52):
Like the argument, the doubt that my god, it's been
it has been a lot, you know, but that's three
years have been.

Speaker 5 (01:07:00):
A lot, you know. So so you know, I appreciate
getting to just getting up, getting an opportunity to just
like share and and just like talk and communicate with
other people that are also just kind of searching for,
like how do we navigate life in a way that
like resonates with like authenticity and purpose but also recognizing

(01:07:24):
the self work that needs to happen. It's I I
don't know, I've I'm just grateful. I'm super grateful that
I made it through the worst part of it and
then now I can sit here and hopefully help others
or just like share insight, you know, I hopefully inspire

(01:07:46):
others to just tell their stories, you know, and in
whatever way that is, Like, it doesn't have to be
a feature learned documentary. It can be anything. But if
you're being called to it probably means you got to
do it in some way, shape or form, and don't
worry about it's not your job to worry about. How
is your job to put one foot in front of
the other and do it how that surrender you just

(01:08:07):
kind of like go with the flow and things will
fall in place.

Speaker 9 (01:08:09):
You know.

Speaker 3 (01:08:10):
That's beautiful. That's beautifully said. I appreciate that. That's great.

Speaker 2 (01:08:13):
To end it, I'm gonna open it up if anybody,
anybody has any comments, questions, concerns.

Speaker 3 (01:08:20):
While we have.

Speaker 5 (01:08:22):
Yes, you have any concerns.

Speaker 1 (01:08:25):
But first we'll take a quick break and then we'll
be right back.

Speaker 2 (01:08:33):
As Freida to chime in before we wrap things.

Speaker 1 (01:08:42):
Up, but let us go.

Speaker 13 (01:08:45):
Yeah, go ahead, if you're thinking about it, ask the
question please, like these opportunities don't happen often. And thank
you Eleana onto Like from the moment I heard her
talk about the story, like I was here, it was
like a week conversation, right, Oh, be like an office
hofurs or something. And I'm like with my tissues because

(01:09:06):
like I've shared with Dumas. At this point, Dramars and
I have seen each other almost every week, and so
I laugh when he said, like I do the hardest
stuff at the beginning, I'm like, I meet with him
five thirty eight Pacific time Monday morning, So I'm.

Speaker 5 (01:09:16):
The hardest thing to do.

Speaker 13 (01:09:20):
But like I've been meeting him and it's virtual, right,
We've never met in person, but I've shared with him
details of like how when you told that story it
opened up and started helping me heal because I have
a family member whore I looked up as like a
male role model in my life, and my relationship has
been with him more with him in prison than ever

(01:09:40):
in person.

Speaker 6 (01:09:41):
Right, So when you opened up about the story, I.

Speaker 5 (01:09:44):
Was like, Oh my god, somebody else that.

Speaker 13 (01:09:46):
Looks like me that, like I could I understand, Like
you're in La, I'm from La, you know, and I'm
all of this stuff, like and she's living it and
like how because we just got word too that he
might be up for coming out, and I'm like, how's
is going to inticate. Remember how does his work, you know,
like and and now I know that it's just going

(01:10:06):
to be what you said, right, And that's kind of
what I'm expecting. And that's why I hang around these
communities where like when life we like, they're like you're good,
the sky's not fun, you know. Like I've had calls
with dramas where I was like, I can't do this.
I started the nine to five, even though it's something
I love it and that I'm passionate about, right, like
the scarcity comes up and I'm like, oh no, right.

(01:10:28):
But when I told her, I was like I can't
do this. He like, let me vent it out and
like okay, Like this is entrepreneurship and like how it
is and I understand that it's a lot, and like
I don't even have kids, so I don't know how
you're doing. But like I'm here and like I'm your partner,
and like drop some stuff on me when it's too
heavy on you. And like the way he explained it

(01:10:49):
and made that community, I was like, I do got this,
you know. And now like when opportunities come up, and
I'm always in like we all grow stuff when I
can be and I'm always like and she and her
and let's and blah blah blah, because I'm like, we're here,
like it is our time to shine as people of color.
Like I was showing my husband and your crowdfunding right

(01:11:09):
because I was like, totally point is waiting for some
classire to come in. And I was like, look, you
see how everyone started like twenty five dollars twenty one
hundred and fifty, Like it's not big amount, but there's
a lot of fucking up, so if a lot of
us do a little bit, it goes a long way.
And my husband was like, yeah, like we're up, Like

(01:11:29):
oh like me and like other things like this, because
I'm like, these are our people telling our stories.

Speaker 6 (01:11:36):
How the fuck can we not support?

Speaker 13 (01:11:38):
So thankfull Leanna for coming on and if somebody has
a question, ask it, because.

Speaker 5 (01:11:42):
Please, I'm open. It was very hard for me to
put out that crowdfunding. I'm not gonna lie. Like I'm
also learning how to ask for more help. I'm a
super collaborative person, but I feel like if I'm going
to ask you to do something for me or with me,
like I feel like I have to be able to
give something in return to whether it's like get you
a job or get you something that's paid or whatever.

(01:12:05):
Like I'm starting to embrace more the idea of like, no,
I see things for people because I want to help, Like,
and there's people out there that want to do stuff
for me because they want to help. So just learning
how to receive and ask for help has been and
knowing that I don't have all the answers, Like I
may have the vision, you know, but I don't know.
I don't know everything, and I don't know all the answers.

(01:12:25):
And it's a humbling experience because the world tells you,
especially as a woman, as a Black woman, as a
Latino woman, as a woman of color, it tells you that, like,
if you're going to put yourself out there and you're
gonna take on the title of filmmaker, you better be
a damned filmmaker, you know. And I always for a
long time, I was like, man, it's really outdacious of
me to like put producer filmmaker, you know, on my resume.

(01:12:49):
But then I'm like, when I look back, I'm like,
I got like fifteen minute documentaries under me. I'm the
whole ass producer of like two TV shows, I have
three short films like of course I'm allmaker. You know
what I'm saying, It's just the world tells you otherwise.
So thank you for that, Brent, because yeah, we need
to hear it.

Speaker 6 (01:13:12):
Hey guys, good evening and nice to meet you. Eleanna.
Thank you for sharing your journey.

Speaker 7 (01:13:17):
I went and checked out your ig page when Brian
shared this last week, and I saw lots of like
serendipitous alignment, and so I appreciate you sharing something that
is so beautiful, transparent and vulnerable and I'm all in, like,
obviously I haven't seen it yet, but I'm fully invested.
So and kudos to Dramas setting this up in terms

(01:13:40):
of at the very beginning when he in his interview
style that I've learned after us being on this journey together,
of so tell me about the qualifications, knowing damn well,
this group is very much like fuck the qualifications we're
going but I appreciate you reiterating that to verbalize it
and to you know, actualize it for this group. And

(01:14:03):
so one of the things that I'm thinking through and
just listening to kind of everything that you said about
the you know, if if it wasn't meant to be,
I wouldn't be here very much aligned with I think
I shared with this group, like one of my cards,
my mantras and some of the stuff that I have
is you know what I seek is seeking me and
that's a big journey for kind of where I feel
like this group is for what's next. And I think

(01:14:24):
that when we talk about that slow down to speed
up when we feel like we've achieved, you know this
big weight being lifted in that you have the next
wave where this is being introduced. So that's going to
take you through a different journey. But a lot of
the legwork, the tears, all the things that you described
are essentially behind you because you kept going to go
through when you get to this point. In terms of projects,

(01:14:47):
I'm also a project manager with a lot of other
fucking transferable skills.

Speaker 6 (01:14:50):
So all the things we're just hitting.

Speaker 3 (01:14:51):
I was like, yep, yep, yup, got it.

Speaker 7 (01:14:53):
Different industries, But where do you see yourself when you're
in this moment of reflection and are you someone that
is automatically thinking about what's next for the bigger picture
that this is for the impact for your culture, for
your family, for you, or are you taking the moment
as well to sit, receive and be able to embrace

(01:15:18):
exactly where you are in the journey and finding that balance.
How do you manage that for yourself? Yeah, that's a
good one, Sexbot. I'm glad that everything resonant with you.
That's why I love doing what I do because.

Speaker 5 (01:15:30):
I know there's other women out there that that are
feeling the same. So thank you for sharing that. I
I have been in this place of Okay, I have
worked myself to the bone, right, I have made really
cool things happen unlimited resources. I also have, you know,

(01:15:53):
took on a really cool job. But I do every
what I do at LATV as a showrunner producer. It's
probably like six different roles at a bitter studio. So
I've been. I've been in kind of like my sit
and reflect garrow And what keeps coming up for me

(01:16:14):
is how can you continue doing the thing that you
love to do in a way that isn't going to
work you to the bone? So how do you work smarter?
And what I realized is that since I was a child,
since I was that chiby girl in Puerto Rico, that
was like, I'm gonna be in a dance school, I'm
gonna be on dance slide and they were like, you
do that, you gotta lose weight. You can't be in

(01:16:35):
the stand school. And I would go and make my
own dances and like win the trophy. You know.

Speaker 8 (01:16:40):
I've always just like done it all myself. Like I've
always been like just like, oh, you tell me I
can't do it.

Speaker 5 (01:16:45):
I'm gonna learn every single part of the process and
I'm gonna do it and I'm gonna make it work.
So I think, like I'm done with that, Like I've
proven that. I'm like, what does it look like now?
Even at work at LATV, I've just and like, you
know what, I want to hire a JUnit producer, even
if it's twenty hours a week, I'm hiring. Instead of

(01:17:05):
one PA for my production days, I'm hiring two pas.
And then I make I do I'm just making sure
that when I hire, I'm hiring, you know, within like
black Latino communities, because that's important to me, and that's
where the culture and the impact part comes into my work,
because I'm really passionate about us getting opportunities because not

(01:17:25):
just in front of the camera, but behind the camera.
Because that's where the control and the impact is. And
you know, and what does it look like when I say, Okay,
I'm going to do this, but then I'm going to
hire people that are really great at what they do,
so that then we can build the ecosystem you know,

(01:17:48):
of not only opportunities, but also I can then just
remain at a level where I can make sure the
vision comes through. But then people that love to do
what they do are doing what they do and they're
getting paid for so rather than like me getting before
thousand dollars and five ten thousand dollars for whatever gig,
it might be like maybe I'll lose three four g's,

(01:18:09):
but I'm hiring other people that love to do what
they do and I'm paying them, and we're building an
ecosystem which alleviates their stress financially and alleviates my stress
of having to do it all. So I'm starting to
think more of like what does exponential growth look like?
And what those working smart versus hard look like. And

(01:18:31):
there's always going to be an element of hardworking obviously
in filmmaking and in the industry, but then like, you know,
what does it look like to find opportunities or investors,
so that there's bigger budgets, so that I don't have
to be the line producer, the editor, the producer, the filmmaker,
the editor, you know, the director, the writer. And when
you start to look at it, when you start to

(01:18:53):
build those ecosystems, then you realize all these really big
things that we love to see. When you look at
the cruise, they are massive. Like there's someone that literally
is just in charge of like taking your microphone off.
That's a whole last job, you know what I'm saying.
Like there's someone in charge of literally just making sure
that our craft cable has water bottles on it at

(01:19:15):
all times. That's a whole last job. So I'm trying
to look into that. What does exponential growth look like
for me? And how can I alleviate some of the
stress by building a team and building an ecosystem of
people that love to do what they do and that
I just want to create together, and how can we
get paid.

Speaker 1 (01:19:35):
For it.

Speaker 5 (01:19:36):
I'm also trying to figure out how do I make
money while I sleep? Okay, is this a problem? You know?
That's my only fans? Like, how do I make you know,
how do I wake up to a couple more genes,
because I do think that it's a scam. I feel
like the way we're taught capitalism, the way we're taught,
you know, our relationship with money and our relationship with

(01:19:56):
work and all of that, like it's crazy. And the
thing about I'm my business, so a lot of times
my money comes in from me physically having to be
places or me having to actually physically do things, and
I want to get paid for like sitting on a
beach somewhere. What does that look like? You know? I
hope that answered your question.

Speaker 6 (01:20:16):
No, it did.

Speaker 7 (01:20:17):
I think that's further alignment for drums doesn't have to
be lonely at the top. And also I think i'm
reading living into rich af is.

Speaker 5 (01:20:27):
I'm not.

Speaker 6 (01:20:28):
I'm usually read more fiction to kind of like escape.
But that is one of the ones.

Speaker 7 (01:20:33):
When we talk about like the differences of working smarter
versus harder, exponential compounding investing, and that definitely seems to
be the next step in just how how to make
money while we sleep.

Speaker 6 (01:20:43):
So I appreciate you sharing that, girl, We deserve it.

Speaker 3 (01:20:47):
Absolute.

Speaker 2 (01:20:50):
I appreciate you, Eliotta, for for lending us your time
and your voice to give everybody so much needsy inspiration
this evening.

Speaker 6 (01:20:59):
So I shoot, I appreciate you'all.

Speaker 5 (01:21:01):
Hopefully, you know, once the film is out and and
we'll do a film festival run, we'll do some screening.
People are in LA, they can come check it out.
We'll probably do one in New York as well.

Speaker 1 (01:21:14):
Love it.

Speaker 5 (01:21:15):
But yeah, and then there's more down the pipeline.

Speaker 3 (01:21:17):
So as I.

Speaker 2 (01:21:20):
Like to hear, man, big shout out to Eleana for
being a part of that conversation. I hope y'all got
something out of it. I really felt it was a
special one. So big shot to her for for hopping
on here. Let's uh, let's tie everything we talked about
today in a neat little boat in a segment we
called conclusion.

Speaker 1 (01:21:37):
STU.

Speaker 2 (01:21:45):
All right, so I know that we we had a
nice lengthy conversation there, so I'll try to keep this short.
But I think, you know, when I when I hear
back that conversation, and even in the moment when we
were having it, the main thing that really came from
mind that like stood out to me that as really special.
You know, obviously it all is special, but like the

(01:22:06):
one thing that really like I honed in on.

Speaker 1 (01:22:09):
It was the idea of just starting before you're even ready.

Speaker 2 (01:22:15):
You know, I think a lot of us, myself included
our perfectionists, you know, and I even you know recently,
like had gotten hit up by somebody who wanted some
advice on starting a podcast, and like they were falling
into the same trap that most of us do. They've
wanted to do this for a long time, but like
they wanted to be so legit, and they wanted to

(01:22:37):
look a certain way. It's not all this different stuff,
and it's like, yeah, all of that is amazing, but
you've been doing on this idea for so long now
and you're not getting anywhere with it. You're not progressing
in anywhere any in sort of any way of bringing
it to life because you're so concerned with all of
the other factors about it, like the way it looks, or.

Speaker 1 (01:23:01):
Do you like the name? What about the concept? All
these different things.

Speaker 2 (01:23:04):
Like a lot of that stuff is really going to
work itself out when you begin the process, right, but
a lot, but you're not going to know or have
those answers.

Speaker 1 (01:23:14):
Or or you know, grow and learn.

Speaker 2 (01:23:19):
And and and get to a place that you're happy with.
You know, all of that isn't going to come until
you actually start putting yourself out there and and you actually,
you know, go all in on the project, right, A
lot of those questions will be answered as you go.

Speaker 1 (01:23:34):
I think that is is.

Speaker 2 (01:23:36):
The one thing that's like a commonality that so many
people fall into that trap, right, And I've I've been
there before as well, you know, for for various things.
But what I will say is for me, when I
think about my life my career, like there's a lot
of different things that I think are contributing factors as
to why I've been able to do some of the

(01:23:57):
things that I've I've been able to you know, get done.

Speaker 1 (01:24:00):
But for the most part, man, it really is just
like I don't.

Speaker 2 (01:24:05):
Live in a place of overthinking an idea. And by
the way, this can get me in trouble at times,
right where I take on too much, or I enroll
other people into a project before I have it fully
fleshed out, and then I realize I'm not really that
into the project and I've kind of wasted some of

(01:24:25):
his time unfortunately.

Speaker 1 (01:24:26):
Right, those are the unfortunate parts about it.

Speaker 2 (01:24:29):
But on the other side of it, me diving in
headfirst without really thinking about it is the reason why
I've been able to create so many different things and
create so many different opportunities. And it feels like I'm
always on the verge of the next thing, and I'm
always sort of advancing little by little. But it's because

(01:24:50):
I don't allow myself to get stuck too much in
the analysis paralysis mode where.

Speaker 1 (01:24:55):
I'm just over analyzing, overthinking.

Speaker 2 (01:24:58):
Right, even this podcast Life is a get guys, this
was my second Like when I had to pitch myself
to the Micropuda podcast network, Life as a gingo was
a like not even the priority for me at the time.
I was gonna this Life Is a was gonna be
a book idea. I had a whole other podcast idea
that I thought was the idea, and Life Is I

(01:25:19):
kind of just kept in the back of my pocket
in case they didn't love that other idea. So I
really hadn't fleshed it out completely. I had the general concept,
of course, but like, it wasn't something that I overthought
too much.

Speaker 1 (01:25:31):
I was there in the meeting and.

Speaker 2 (01:25:35):
You know, I pitched the first idea and they didn't
love it, and it was kind of like, oh, I
have this other idea as well, and that ironically was
the one that they ended up loving. And obviously here
we are three seasons later. But again it's because I
didn't overanalyze it. I didn't, like, you know, stop and
have to ask every single person I know, what they

(01:25:55):
thought of the name or the concept, and of course,
like I had people in my life where I might
run it by, but I didn't allow their opinion or
I didn't allow the fact that I hadn't gone through
that process completely to slow me down or to stop
me from pitching it essentially right, And that's.

Speaker 1 (01:26:10):
Why we've been able to move the way we have.

Speaker 2 (01:26:12):
And of course there have been so many things I've
had to figure out along the way because I didn't overplan.
But with that said, it's worked out very well for me, right,
and I think that's what holds so many people back. Right,
even when she was talking about like, you know, the
one angle, the one camera angle, the shot that was
like the best shot of the documentary ended up being

(01:26:35):
one that they didn't plan on. It literally was just
I think, I don't know if it was her assistant
or somebody that was on set with her filming from
their iPhone who just randomly was just capturing the moment
and ended up filming the best angle of like this
moment of them embracing their father as he came home
from prison.

Speaker 1 (01:26:54):
And that's life. You can only plan but so much.

Speaker 2 (01:26:58):
But the magic often times is in what happens once
you're on the path, once you're walking in your journey,
and you have to embrace it and be open to
it and understand that as long as you're putting yourself
out there and you're doing the work and you're moving
towards your intended goal, magic is going to find you

(01:27:18):
in some way, shape or form along the way, even
if it's not exactly how you intended it or planned it.

Speaker 1 (01:27:23):
Right, But you.

Speaker 2 (01:27:24):
Have to get past the fear that holds you back
from actually, you know, taking a step on your path.

Speaker 1 (01:27:31):
Right.

Speaker 2 (01:27:33):
It's like, you know, you want to, I don't know,
run a marathon, that's your goal, but you literally never
walk out of your front door. How are you supposed
to properly you know, train for the marathon or get ready?
I mean shit, you can't even run the marathon if
you don't actually leave from your front door. Right, you
have to actually go to a location, And that's what

(01:27:54):
a lot of us are doing. We're like, oh, I
want to do this, I want to do that, but
we're just we're never actually stepping out of the house.
Sometimes literally This time figure is what I'm talking about.
That's what we do when we overplan, overanalyze. It doesn't
have to be perfect. I know, we live in an
internet era where it feels like everybody's watching everything you're
doing and they're gonna be judging it right away, and
maybe there are going to be some people who do it,

(01:28:15):
but also who gives a fuck about those people? Right
at the end of the day, there are so many
things on your journey and in the creative process that
can only happen once you're actually knee deep in it. Right,
you don't know all the questions, all the problems that

(01:28:37):
are going to arise. You can't plan for everything. A
lot of it is on the job training, and you're
only going to get it when you actually go and
do the thing you've been wanting to do. And that's
to me, the most powerful piece of advice I can
give to anybody, you know, is like, if you have
an idea, just start doing it. Don't overthink it. You know,

(01:29:00):
plan to the best of your ability, but just start
doing it. And in the process of you starting to
do it, you're gonna learn, you're gonna get better, you're
gonna refine. And who cares if the world quote unquote
is watching via social media. Most people are too afraid
to even get started, so you have a leg up
on them. That would be my greatest piece of advice.

(01:29:23):
I'm gonna stop that. I could have gone on a
whole We could do another hour of me just talking
about that, but that's that, to me, is the best
thing I always can tell people. And I love that.
Ileana's story was that you know, start before you're ready.
She had never made a documentary film before. They didn't

(01:29:44):
have it all figured out, but she was like, fuck it,
We're just gonna do this and I'm gonna somehow some
way pull it together in the next I think, I
don't know how long she had a camember off the
top my head, but it was like a very short
period of time to pull together this documentary before her
father was being released, right, And you just do it.

Speaker 1 (01:30:00):
You just have to do it.

Speaker 2 (01:30:02):
So that's that's my takeaway for today's show. I hope
you enjoyed that. Conversation. I know it is incredibly inspiring
for me in the moment, and I just love being
able to connect with people like her who are really
pushing themselves to do amazing things and being honest about
their journey and the struggles and as a result, are
being an.

Speaker 1 (01:30:19):
Inspiration to all of us. So just love it.

Speaker 2 (01:30:22):
Shouts out for being so damn vulnerable. What a vulnerable
story to share. But that's the way we make the
greatest impact. Well, we humanize ourselves and our experiences and
are unafraid to be vulnerable, and in being vulnerable, we're
giving others the permission to be vulnerable themselves.

Speaker 1 (01:30:38):
I think that's the beauty of all this stuff as well.

Speaker 2 (01:30:39):
That's a whole other conversation I can get into as well,
where the more you give the you know, to yourself,
the more you give the world of yourself.

Speaker 1 (01:30:47):
Is that what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (01:30:48):
The more of yourself you give to the world, there
we go, I think the more you're going to get back.
And I don't mean that just in terms of like
attention or monetary stuff. I mean also your soul is
going to be filled, right because the lives are going
to touch as a result of being that giving person.
It's all going to come back tenfold for you. That's

(01:31:09):
the last thing I'll say now Again, if you want
to be a part of the new Just Be Social Club,
DM me your email at dj Drombos on Instagram, or
you can email Brenda at mindofa Young Lord dot com.

Speaker 1 (01:31:22):
I'll leave that link in the show notes.

Speaker 2 (01:31:25):
But whatever is easier for you, You could send us
your email say you want to be added to the
waiting list for the Just Be Social Club, and once
it opens up, we'll send it out to you.

Speaker 1 (01:31:34):
So you can go ahead and click it and join again.

Speaker 2 (01:31:36):
This is our Mastermind group, a bunch of like minded
people from the community meeting up together, all with the
purpose of personal growth and inspiring and connecting and building
genuine community with one another where we can be interacting
and sharing our work, our lives and helping build each
other up in the process. So that's the goal, to
Just Be Social Club, and I think that's it. Just

(01:31:58):
Be n y see, if you want to pick up
some of the bu merch that we just dropped again,
I'm really excited. It's beautiful, like embroidered sweaters. The hats
are really dope. They say be on them. I've been
wearing them a lot recently. If you can follow my
socials and that's that. Thank you all so much for
the support, and I'll catch you man Thursday. We'll be
Thursday back here as usual for our Thursday trans episode

(01:32:19):
to that Stay safe, We'll talk soon. Life as a
googo is a production of the micro Thura podcast network
and iHeartRadio.