May 18, 2024 • 36 mins
Does corn belong in queso? How much taxation is enough? Inspiring a marathon runner. How to embarrass kids. Prediction: Vivek is going to run in 2028 as the next Trump guy. Should single women be allowed to vote?
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Speaker 1 (00:11):
This is a Jesse Kelly show. It is the Jesse
Kelly Show. Final hour of the Jesse Kelly Show on
an ass doctor Jesse Friday, and then it's weekend time. Baby.
Are you ready? I am ready. So let's talk about
this convention, Joe Biden, bouncing him thing, homeschooling, Let's talk
(00:32):
about Wilm, Grandma vodka, old Democrats, the National Anthem, so
many other things coming up this hour on the world
famous Jesse Kelly Show. Let's start here. Jesse, you say
the commies will bounce President poopy pants at the convention.
Do you think the debate in June is going to
be the reason? Why? Think about it? He says. They
(00:55):
send him out there without his medical fortifications, he falls
flat on his face, and Trump surges in the polls.
Now they have to get rid of him. Thoughts question Mark. Okay, first,
that's just my theory. I need to clarify that it's
just a theory. I don't have inside knowledge that they're
going to jump dump Joe Biden. I could be wrong.
(01:17):
I have so many of my friends who vehemently disagree
with me on this, and they're all sharp people. Buck
Buck Sexton like we're buddies, like we have a bed
about this. We have texted back and forth about this.
He thinks I'm insane. He thinks there's no way they
can dump him, that it's too late in him, And
he might be totally right. He's no idiots. Buck knows
(01:37):
what he's doing. So it's just a prediction of mine.
The reason I made the prediction was, the system doesn't
care about anyone. Remember, the system cares about the system.
The system doesn't care about Joe Biden. If the poll
numbers continue to look bad, the approval rating's bad, he
(01:59):
can't talk. If it looks like Joe Biden is the
most unpopular president in American history after four years, and
right now, that's what it looks like. I just cannot
see how they would ever run him. Now, let me
clarify again. There are a couple of technical things I
need to clear up here. He's not going to drop
(02:20):
out and cannot drop out now. And there's not going
to be a new challenger to Joe Biden now. The
way the rules in the primary system is set up,
that's not something that can happen. Zero zip silch. It
will never happen. Delegates that Joe Biden has already won
and will continue to win. They are what's called bound
(02:42):
to him, meaning the delegate can't just say I'm leaving
change my mind. They aren't his. They belong to him.
What has to take place if what I'm saying turns
out to be true. What has to take place is
Joe Biden has to go to the convention. He has
to accept the nomination and then hand it off. After
(03:06):
he accepts it, he can turn because of the way
the Democrats wrote the rules, he can essentially turn and
hand it to anyone who freaking wants. He can hand
it to anyone he wants. That if it's going to happen,
that's how it will happen. Now, now that's a theory,
your theory on. They're not going to medicate him for
(03:28):
the debate and drop him out afterwards. What am I
supposed to do? Tell you? And you're an idiot. It's
just as solid as my theory. I gave you my theory. Now,
I don't believe you that they'll withhold his meds for
the Trump Biden debate because remember, yes, Joe Biden is
controlled and goes where he's told and whatnot. But him
and his wife. They still do make sure some things
(03:52):
are done a certain way. They would never let him.
Jill would never let them skip on Joe Biden's medication.
She just wouldn't allow that. Remember Jill Biden, Remember how
horrible this human being is. Jill Biden's husband has dementia.
Now this is her husband. Remember what. I know. Life
(04:13):
is hard and it doesn't always work out that way.
But I want you to listen to this. I want
you to listen to this speaking of Jill Biden. Listen
to that. We played it last night, We'll play it again.
Now let it play longer. Listen to how Harrison Butker
speaks about his wife, and you can just tell how
she must speak about him.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
For the ladies present today, Congratulations on an amazing accomplishment.
You should be proud of all that you have achieved
to this point in your young lives. I want to
speak directly to you briefly because I think it is
you the women who have had the most diabolical lies
told to you. How many of you are sitting here
now about to cross this stage and are thinking about
(04:54):
all the promotions and titles you are going to get
in your career Some of you may go on to
leads successful careers in the world, but I would venture
to guess that the majority of you are most excited
about your marriage and the children you will bring into
this world. I can tell you that my beautiful wife, Isabelle,
would be the first to say that her life truly
started when she began living her vocation as a wife
(05:18):
and as a mother. I'm on this stage today and
able to be the man I am because I have
a wife who leans into her vocation. I'm beyond blessed
with the many talents God has given me. But it
cannot be overstated that all of my success is made
possible because a girl I met in band class back
(05:40):
in middle school would convert to the faith, become my wife,
and embrace one of the most important titles of all homemaker.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Now let me ask you something, having never even heard
from her. If Harrison Butker was President of the United
States of America and developed dementia as happens in older people,
and embarrassed himself in front of a single room of
people even one time, how quickly do you think his
(06:17):
loving wife would step in and say we're done, my
husband's retiring and We're going to go get care because
the man I love is not going to be humiliated
at the end of his life in front of the
whole world. How quickly if she was president then she
developed dementia, how quickly would that man step in one
(06:40):
flub once grew up one time forgetting where she was?
He would step in. No, this is my bride, this
is the end of her life. We're going to go
get her some rest and care. We're done here. Joe
Biden's husband, Joe is mocked across the planet. Saudi Arabian
(07:02):
television shows do mockups of how old and lost Joe
Biden is. It is in intern It's not a national joke.
It's not a joke in Republican circles. Oh, Italy too,
I forgot about that, Chris, good call Italy did it too?
It is an international joke. Joe Biden at the end
of his life is an international embarrassment and an international punchline.
(07:28):
Everyone in separate languages make fun of him, and Jill,
Biden's wife doesn't give a crap. Must be good to
be first lady, is all I gotta say. Must be
real good to be first lady? What kind of a woman.
What kind of a witch would allow her husband, at
(07:52):
the end of his days to embarrass himself for what money, power, prestige?
Who would do such a thing? Yeah, so Jill Biden
is gonna make sure that Joe Biden has a souped
up cocktail and be ready to go because she got
(08:14):
to stay first. Lady Baby air Force one. Hey, Joe,
go out there and poop your pants in front of
the Pope again. If you need me, I'll be at Bloomingdale's.
Woo freaking terrible. Yeah, that just it seems me to
no end. And I hate Joe Biden, right, I can't
stand him. I can't stand him. He's been a liar
(08:35):
and a jerk to everybody the entirety of his career.
He's treated his staffers like crap, He's treated everyone around him.
I don't even like that man. And I look at
Joe when he embarrasses himself and yeah, we have fun
with it here on the show, and every time he does,
I think about his wife and I say, how in
the world could you allow this to go on? How
(08:55):
in the world could you allow your husband to be humiliated?
Have you been around people going through this? This is
what we see on camera, the anger, the stress they
struggle with behind it. It's heartbreaking. Maybe you know someone,
maybe someone very close to who's going through dementia right
now at the end of their lives. It's heartbreaking on everybody,
(09:16):
on the people suffering from it, on their loved ones.
They need rest, they need care, they need these things.
Jill Biden throws a suit on her husband and kicks
him to the wolves every day so she can be
first lady. Oh oh, she's gonna make sure he has
his drugs for the debate. Trusts me. Hey, oracle, he
say that comedies will bounce President All. I already read
(09:37):
that one, oracle. My wife and I are about to
have our first child. I'm a farrier and my wife
is a veteran. I have no idea how we'll pull
it off. Chris, what's a farrier? Will you look that up?
F A R R I E R. I want to
sound smart on the radio. I have no idea how
we'll pull it off, but we both want to homeschool her.
We refuse to hand our baby girl over to a
(09:59):
bunch of turbo communists so they can turn her into
one of them. What are your thoughts on homeschooling. He says, ps,
suck it up and buy the Night Vision. Your family
is depending on you. My wife and I love the show.
You can say my name is name is Jordan. Ah.
It's just so wonderful. They're about to have their first baby, Jordan.
Congrats to you and your bride. All right, homeschooling always
(10:21):
a spicy topic. I'll give you all my thoughts on
homeschooling in just a moment. Then we still have to
talk about KSO and many other things. First, though, let's
do something really quickly. Takes ten minutes. You got ten minutes.
Let's switch your cell phone service. It's not difficult. When
(10:41):
I tell people to switch from Verizon, switch from Att,
switch from T Mobile. What I tell people to do it,
they think it sounds like a pain. I gotta drive
down to the store, I got to wait in line.
Or I tell people to call Pure Talking. People think, well,
everyone already has my number. I don't want people to
lose my No, I've got my phone. You don't understand
(11:03):
it takes ten minutes on the phone. With Pure Talk,
you speak to an American who speaks English, and you
don't have to change your phone number or your phone.
It's all just done on the phone and by mail,
and you will pay significantly less, significantly less. Your bill
is gonna get cut in half. Switch to Pure Talk.
(11:25):
We switched to T Mobile and our bill got cut
in half. Dial pound two five zero and say Jesse Kelly.
Support a company that supports you and your values. Pound
two five zero, say Jesse Kelly. Tonight is the night.
Switch to Pure Talk. We'll be back. It is the
Jesse Kelly Show on a Friday. And ask doctor Jesse Friday.
(11:49):
And we are moving along here. Let's get to some
more emails, because we have many. Dear Oracle, I love
the show in the book, I hated the day myacpin broke. Yes,
I wore it nearly every day, and yes it went
through the wash of time or two. We need to
churn out another batch of those. By the way, don't
let me forget that, Chris. We'll find a discount or something.
You go find us, find us a good deal somewhere.
(12:10):
Ten months ago I was a couch potato when my
dime asked me to go to the gym with her.
Five months ago, I started running. Three months ago, I
signed up for my first marathon. Dad gun, This dude's
an animal. I listened to you via podcast every single
training run, and your Friday evening show gets me through
most of the way, most of the way through my
long runs. The longest so far is eighteen miles. Dang,
(12:34):
you inspire me, and I hope this inspires someone else.
I'd be honored if you said my name and his
name is Jason. How about that? PS. The Cleveland Marathon
is Sunday, May nineteenth. If you read this Friday, May seventeenth,
during hour three, it might give me the boost I
need to finish. And he finishes it off by saying
(12:54):
I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.
I have an idea that Jason is going to do
just finding Cleveland on Sunday, and best of luck to you,
sir marathons. The wife ran a half marathon one time,
and I thought about trying to do it with her.
It was back when we lived in DC, which is
a really cool place to do a marathon or something
like that. Well, probably not anymore because you get shot,
(13:16):
but back then you would run by all the monuments
and everything. I thought about doing it with her, and
then I watched there's just so much running. They were
just always running a lot of running. And I remember thinking,
that doesn't that doesn't look like fun. That's way too
much running. But it's it's very impressive the people that
do it. I did find out that a lot of
the marathon runners pooped themselves if they have to go,
(13:38):
and that wasn't ideal. I mean, it made me laugh,
but that, well, yeah, Chris, if you're like the competitive ones,
if you're out there and you're doing your thing, you
know you're running along and you gotta go and you're racing.
You're racing other people for time. You can't bank on
it being a fifteen minute or you gotta just unleash
the fury. What, Chris, They've got to have a diet
(14:02):
they go on to cleanse all that. Well, I don't
know how it works. I don't have any idea what
they're doing exactly, but you can go look it up
right now. There's some poopy pants on these marathon runs,
I'm telling you, And imagine running behind one of those guys.
All of a sudden you're slipping and you don't be terrible,
absolutely terrible. Now we know why the guys from Kenya
(14:22):
do at barefoot. Dear doctor Jesse, while I'm literally old
enough to be your mother, I have to tell you
how much I enjoy your sense of humor. My dad
was always doing things to embarrass my brother and I
when we were kids, such as standing up in a
movie theater and leading the national anthem like a conductor
on the orchestra. My question for you is, what's your
(14:44):
favorite thing to do to embarrass your boys? Hats off
to you and your wife were raising them right. Our
men could use, Our country could use more strong men
with a sense of humor. Her name's Wendy. Oh, that's easy.
Whether what's the thing I do that I love to
do to embarrass them the most?
Speaker 2 (14:59):
All right?
Speaker 1 (15:00):
Oh? You know I love food, and I fully acknowledge
that I have, as my wife calls it, an unhealthy
obsession with food. I know that, I know. I know
food actually governs my happiness in a lot of ways.
It's really unhealthy and wrong, I know. But I love food.
I love it. I love eating it, I love smelling it,
(15:23):
and I love talking about it. And I will. I
am that guy forty two going on eighty two, I
will talk to strangers about their food and I have
always been under the impression I've never had a negative
reaction to this at all, especially when you're dealing with
another dude. Long before I had a wife kids. If
(15:46):
I'm eating in a restaurant and some dude orders something
beside me, I'll look over. I'm gout, Dude, that looks good.
What is that I want to order that I've never
once had? Never once? Is there bring a negative response
all the time. Look, dudes take it as a compliment.
They're all, oh, yeah, man's this is the booden sandwich.
I highly recommend it. I get it anytime I come
(16:08):
in here. All right, thanks, man. It's very very cordial.
It's very very cordial. Well, boys, especially young men and women.
This applies to young men and women, even ones who
are raised in good homes and confident and happy. You're
not quite sure of yourself yet because you're just growing,
especially when you hit the twelve and thirteen year old
(16:30):
You're skinny, you can't talk to girls, you can't talk
to boys, you got a pimple on your face. You're
just not as sure of yourself as you will be
when you go on later in life. And so I
take advantage of that by whenever I'm out with the family,
if you're at a table next to me, I'm gonna
ask you what you're eating. If it looks good, I'll
(16:51):
ask them. I've done it to my sons because they're
so horrified by it, they'll just put their head in
their hands. I've done it in airports. Last time we
were in an airport. We were flying out of Houston.
I forget where we were going. We were flying out
of Houston and we were walking somewhere and some dude
walked was walking the other way. It walked right by us,
and he had a pizza and he had it open
(17:11):
and he was eating it and it looked fantastic. And
as we walked by, this look right there, said dude,
that looks amazing. Where'd you get that? He said, oh, man, thanks,
If you walk down there, it's like five gates down
on the left. My son's By the time I got
done talking to him, they were a half mile ahead
of me in the airport, just trying to get away
as fast as humanly possible. It is one of my
(17:31):
most favorite things to do because it combines two things.
I love food and embarrassing my sons. When you can
do both of those things when you look, as the
old saying goes, when you find something you truly love
to do, you will never work a day in your life,
embarrassing my wife and children. It's a passion project of mine.
(17:54):
And I have to say I'm pretty good. All right,
Let's move on to other things. Taxes. You haven't talked much. Taxes.
How how much is too much? Hang on? He doesn't
care if you believe him, but he's right. Jesse Kelly.
(18:16):
It is the Jesse Kelly Show on a Friday, and
asked doctor Jesse Friday, and I want to touch on
this really quickly before I get back to the questions.
This is a local news report out of Mississippi. Mississippi
pass legislation to keep the train. He's out of the
women's room.
Speaker 3 (18:34):
Now eight years later, Mississippi is passing a bathroom bill,
but supporters say it's legislation designed to protect women and girls.
The Safer Act stands for securing areas for females effectively
and responsibly act.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Have do not know of anybody in this body that
does not want to protect our women, our teenage daughters,
or our young granddaughters.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
Are young boys and young men for that matter as well.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
But the ACLU argues, yeah, yeah, yeah, we got it.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
I just I would get and point out that I'm
glad they passed this law. It's good that we're protecting
young women. It's good. It's good. It's good. But probably
not a great sign for the society we have when
you have to pass laws preventing men from going into
the women's room, that's that's a bad sign. Dear King
(19:23):
k SOO connoisseur, curious what your thoughts are of kso
that has corn added to it. It's an automatic no
for me. His name is Jake, he requested this. Corn
is Corn's okay? Look, I'm anti vegetable as a rule,
as a general principle, I'm anti vegetable, what Chris I am. However,
(19:48):
corn on the cob is actually not that bad when
you smear it in butter and then you dump pepper
all over it. Buttered and peppered corn on the cob
is fantastic. You could just sit and munch on that.
Watch your ear force buddies eat it with two hands.
Corn on the cob can be delicious, But anything other
(20:09):
than that corn is very, very, very average, And I
would never taint caso with it. What, Chris, corn tortillas
are not great. Chris, corn tortillas are for people with
no taste and no class and no sophistication. I have
to make them fresh. I'm sorry, but I married a
(20:29):
white woman. How am I supposed to make corn tortillas?
And how no one makes corn tortillas? In my eye,
I don't know anyone who makes corn tortillas. What you're
outside of your mind? You need a Mexican woman to
make the best tortillas. White dudes and white people do
not what Michael.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
A.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Low Tas, I don't know her. Who is she? What?
Speaker 2 (20:53):
What?
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Either way, corn tortillas are garbage and corn's garbage. Jessie,
I don't believe I heard any politician answer this. But
how much taxes are enough? Well, I'm not going to
answer the question me Personally, I would go with something
like a flat tax every single person pays ten percent.
But I will say this, it's very very revealing if
(21:18):
you know how to listen to the communists, It's very
revealing the things they say. What's What's one of the
ultimate lines that democrats use every time Republicans try to
do the one decent thing they ever do, which is
cut your taxes. What do Democrats say? What do they say?
They pass tax cuts that weren't paid for. They pass
(21:44):
tax cuts that weren't paid for. Excuse me, it's our money.
The government spending is what's not paid for. But what
it really reveals is how how they view the government
citizen relationship. Because when you say that they pass tax
(22:06):
cuts that weren't paid for, what it does is it
makes it very, very obvious that you think all of
my money actually belongs to you, and that anything I
keep you have simply allowed me to keep in your benevolence.
That's why they talk the way they talk tax cuts
that weren't paid for. Gosh, these people, Jesse. Don't you
(22:28):
think Trump's pick for VP must be the best person
to become president after Trump's second term ends. That person
is Ronda Santis. We are in an unprecedented situation. Desantus
knows d C, knows our state houses. He can help
Trump the most, while Trump can groom him to run
for president. Your thoughts, I need to burst everyone's bubble again.
(22:50):
If you're a Trump person hoping for this, or if
you're a DeSantis person, hoping for this. I know this
is going to be difficult to hear, so I'm going
to explain something to you. And this is not a theory.
Remember I tell you when I have a theory, and
I tell you when I know things. These two men
do not like each other. They do not like each
other even a little bit. Donald Trump is offended beyond
(23:12):
belief that Ron De Santis challenged him in the primary.
He is so offended by it that as recently as
a month ago, he was trying to find primary challenges
against any congressman who endorsed Rond de Santis. That's how
all I know it's bad. That's how deep it goes.
He is offended beyond belief. And Ron de Santis is
(23:35):
mortified by Donald Trump. They are not friends. He is
not an admirer. He considers Donald Trump to be the
most selfish idiot in politics. Now, I know nobody wants
to hear that. Everyone wants to think that these two
juggernauts are gonna get together and work everything out. I
don't care what you think about anything I just said.
I'm telling you right now, these two were not going
(23:55):
to get together. The Santas endorse Trump has announced he
will fund raise for Trump as kind of a that's
kind of a thing everybody does. Trump's the Republican nominee.
I'm a Republican governor. I'm a gonna throw you a
big fundraiser at some fantasy mansion in Florida and then say,
I fundraised for you. These two men are never getting together.
They have completely opposite views on life and government. And
(24:19):
now the rift is way too deep. And you can
email me and say, but they should set aside that.
Trump should set that outside. Desantus should set that aside. Okay,
should have Kuda woulda. These are men gigantic type as
with gigantic egos, and they're not going to do that.
That's not how men work. Donald Trump is the billionaire,
former president of the United States of America and now
(24:40):
Republican nominee to be president again. Donald Trump thinks pretty
highly of himself. Ron DeSantis is the greatest governor in America,
probably the greatest governor in my entire lifetime. Has turned
Florida from a purple state into a blood red bastion
of freedom. And he's pretty stinking common that he knows
(25:00):
exactly what he's doing. He has a big ego too,
and he ain't gonna sacrifice it for him. They're not
going to work together. You can drop the DeSantis for
VP stuff. You know it's gonna be. You think it's
too bad now, Chris, I think I've said this before,
but you can go ahead and write it down again.
Wait for the next one. You want to know what's
(25:21):
coming in twenty twenty eight, here's what's gonna come. So Vivek.
You know Vivek, A lot of you are Vivek fans. Well,
you saw how Vivek treated Ron DeSantis during the primary
versus how you treat he treated Trump right every day.
It was the Santus is a scumbag. This guy sucks.
I love Trump, He's the best wood Trump. Love you.
(25:44):
You know why he did that. You know why he
did that, right. Vivek, for whatever you think of him,
love him or hate him, is a very intelligent, very
ambitious person. He wants to run for president again in
twenty twenty eight. He did all that at to set
himself up as the Trump heir apparent. He's gonna try
(26:06):
to take all those America First Maga Trump people and
get Trump's blessing. Trump's endorsement and be the Republican nominee
for president in twenty twenty eight. And Ron de Santus
is one thousand percent going to run again in twenty
twenty eight. There's going to be a vvak vivak. However,
say it Ron DeSantis clash coming again in about four years,
(26:31):
So you can might as well gird your loins for
it now and buckle up because it's coming. Chris. I
know that's a long one. Go ahead and notch that
one down, buddy, because when that one comes true, I'm
just gonna be obnoxious. Don't worry, Chris, it's not complicated.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
Not an attempt to ban TikTok.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Well, it's an attempt to make TikTok better. Tick tech
toe A winner, a winner, A winner, Chris. We'll see
who the winner is going to be. You can be
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(27:09):
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We have one segment left and there are questions all
over the map. Political and non kurger Loins were getting ready.
It is the Jesse Kelly Show. Final segment of The
(28:14):
Jesse Kelly Show on a Friday, and ask doctor Jesse Friday,
I hope you are ready to dominate the weekend by
spending time with your family in your community. I had
to do a political thing last night. They asked me
to moderate the debate. There was a forum a candidate
for him. I don't think I call it a debate.
(28:35):
They're trying to choose who's going to run the Republican Party.
In Texas and whatnot. And I'll say this, it was
really old in there, and I didn't like it. And
it's not that I don't mind. It's not that I
don't like spending time around old people. But man, I'm
forty two and I'm pretty sure I was the youngest
(28:57):
one in the building. Oh, we have got to have
more than just old people get involved in politics. Yeah,
old people are gonna get involved in politics, and that's good.
We need them involved. But we can't just rely on
the freaking senior citizens. It was an old crowd out there,
an old crowd. We younger people have got to dig in.
(29:19):
We got to dig into. We can't just leave it
on the poor senior citizens. They're on the back nine
and we're banking on them to save us. All to
your showgun oracle. My wife finally heard about the meme
of how often men think about the Roman Empire and
asked me if there are other weird her words things
I think about. I'm a little embarrassed to admit the
(29:39):
amount of time I've spent thinking about and watching videos
of hypothetical animal fights. If there's a video about a
lion versus a tiger or a silver back versus a grizzly.
I've seen it, thought deeply about it, and played Devil's
advocate about what I decided. Do you have any weird
obsessions you'd like to confess on radio? Okay, First of all,
(30:02):
you should understand something, sir. Your animal fights video is
the most dude thing ever. And here's how you know
it's the most dude thing ever. Won I do the
same thing I have since I was a child. Always
wanted to know who would win this or that, this
or that, who would win what would happen here? So
(30:23):
you're not alone? And here's how not alone you are.
They used to do things like this in the ancient
world all the time, the gladiator games. They'd put the
animals in there against people against each other because there
is an appetite to see who is the strongest, who
is the best. As for me, all right, so I'm
(30:49):
not a survivalist. I really am not. Yes, I do preparations,
I do, you know, ammunition and food in emergency water.
And I do make prep I really genuinely do. But
I do not freak about it, and I'm not obsessed
about it. I don't spend the weekends building a nuclear
bunker in my backyard. However, being abandoned on a desert island,
(31:15):
you know, cast away sto Robinson Crusoe's style. I probably
probably once a day I think about how I would do,
what I would do. I've gone through. If I'm sitting
there daydreaming on the way to work, I've gone through
on my head, how I would catch fish? Am I
(31:36):
one hundred percent sure I could start a fire? What
would I do for shelter? If I have thought about
this extensively, And I don't know why, it's it's not
a it's not that I want it, obviously, it's a
I want to know if I if I'm made of
strong enough stuff to survive, and would I try to
(31:58):
get off the island? Would I stay there forever? Would
I try to build a raft? Would I just write
SOS in the sale? Oh? I've done it all in
my head. I've done it all in my mind. I've
built an entire city for me. I've bet all I
know and I'm not even a builder. I don't even
know what I'm doing. But I don't know why. I
want to know if I could do it. And no,
(32:19):
I'm not going to sign up to do the show
Survivor or something like that. I'm not doing any of that,
but I tell you I've thought about it many, many,
many times, and I'll tell you one thing. If I went,
I would most definitely have a hatchet. If I was allowed,
I'd have a knife, and I would definitely bring along
my burn a pistol launcher, because what Chris listen burn
(32:43):
a pistol launchers. Not only are they a non lethal option,
I believe in lethal and non lethal. They're a non
lethal option. They shoot these pepper balls or tear gas balls.
They're legal in all fifty states with no background check,
no permit required. They mail it to your on tour,
so no matter what island I'm on, it will be
(33:03):
legal for me to have my Berna. What Chris, go,
get a burn a pistol launcher. Swap teams around the
country use it. These things save lives. They're already saving lives.
Go look, over half a million are already gone and
climbing people are obsessed with these things, and they should be.
Berna is b Why RNA Berna dot com slash Jesse
(33:26):
gets you ten percent off B Why Rna susy? These
things are awesome and practicing with them is so much fun.
Get the practice rounds, you won't regret it. And now
here's a headline by go you know you know the
thing emails we didn't get to you. What do you
(33:47):
think about the Glen Youngkin as Donald or think about
Glen Younkin as Donald Trump's vice president? I like it
a lot. If we thought Virginia was in play, and
it might be, I guess I like it a lot.
I hear great things about Glenn. I hear he's not
nearly as as moderate establishment as he appears. He has
to appear that way because it's Virginia. But from what
(34:08):
I hear, and I don't know him, but I know
people who know him. I've heard he's hardcore, but he
has to do the kind of will I'm just a
nice Republican type things. He's trying to get elected in Virginia.
I've heard he's pretty good. Hey, mister soft mouth, crispy
chip hater. My wife is the epitome of a norma.
She literally knows nothing about politics. She comes to me
(34:28):
for all her political opinions. Do you think single women
vote Democrat because they're uninformed doults like my wife? He said,
just kidding. If so, can we amend the Nineteenth Amendment
to married women only? What stay you listen? I don't
know why you guys complain about this. You think my
wife doesn't ask me who to vote for, who to
vote for, what issues to vote on? And she is
(34:50):
a political person, but she still comes and asks me.
And you know what, I wouldn't want it any other way.
Because I get two votes in my house, I have
twice the voting power of you. Mister pre diabetic, I'm fine,
I'm not pre diabetic. When I was in the Corps,
guys in the galley and in the band were promoted
more easily over the grunts. Why was this? There's a
(35:13):
launtery list of reasons why guys in some fields get
promoted faster than guys in other fields. A lot of
it can come down to simply room. How much room
is there? Meaning, if you're in the Marine Corps, they're
only going to promote so many guys to sergeant in
an area or in a unit. So do a lot
(35:36):
of guys qualified? Do not many guys qualified? If you're
in one of the band, I mean, how many frigging
guys are in the band? So there are gonna be
slots that are going to open up. Jesse. When people
show up at my door uninvited, I have a blanket
policy to slightly open the inner door, but keep the
security door closed. Tonight, an order teenage girl came by
(35:56):
and I pulled my standard standard operation and I got
yelled at by my wife and kids. Am I a jerk?
I think I'm helping because I never give money or
buy their stuff so they save time. See I'm helpful. Listen, Uh,
I don't think it's wrong to answer the door halfway.
To only open the door halfway, it's certainly better than
(36:17):
how I answer the door. I answer the door with
a weapon every time. Every time. It's in my right hand.
It's hidden behind my thigh. You can't see it, but
every single time I'm turned to the side if I
answer my door, I have a gun. It all. There's
that's That's how I do it. My family's mortified. Now
I'm not changing. I like me. It's the weekend. Time
put your phone down. We'll pick it up again on Monday.
(36:38):
Medal of honor Mondays come and we'll have a blast.
All right, that's all.
This is a Jesse Kelly show. It is the Jesse
Kelly Show. Final hour of the Jesse Kelly Show on
an ass doctor Jesse Friday, and then it's weekend time. Baby.
Are you ready? I am ready. So let's talk about
this convention, Joe Biden, bouncing him thing, homeschooling, Let's talk
(00:32):
about Wilm, Grandma vodka, old Democrats, the National Anthem, so
many other things coming up this hour on the world
famous Jesse Kelly Show. Let's start here. Jesse, you say
the commies will bounce President poopy pants at the convention.
Do you think the debate in June is going to
be the reason? Why? Think about it? He says. They
(00:55):
send him out there without his medical fortifications, he falls
flat on his face, and Trump surges in the polls.
Now they have to get rid of him. Thoughts question Mark. Okay, first,
that's just my theory. I need to clarify that it's
just a theory. I don't have inside knowledge that they're
going to jump dump Joe Biden. I could be wrong.
(01:17):
I have so many of my friends who vehemently disagree
with me on this, and they're all sharp people. Buck
Buck Sexton like we're buddies, like we have a bed
about this. We have texted back and forth about this.
He thinks I'm insane. He thinks there's no way they
can dump him, that it's too late in him, And
he might be totally right. He's no idiots. Buck knows
(01:37):
what he's doing. So it's just a prediction of mine.
The reason I made the prediction was, the system doesn't
care about anyone. Remember, the system cares about the system.
The system doesn't care about Joe Biden. If the poll
numbers continue to look bad, the approval rating's bad, he
(01:59):
can't talk. If it looks like Joe Biden is the
most unpopular president in American history after four years, and
right now, that's what it looks like. I just cannot
see how they would ever run him. Now, let me
clarify again. There are a couple of technical things I
need to clear up here. He's not going to drop
(02:20):
out and cannot drop out now. And there's not going
to be a new challenger to Joe Biden now. The
way the rules in the primary system is set up,
that's not something that can happen. Zero zip silch. It
will never happen. Delegates that Joe Biden has already won
and will continue to win. They are what's called bound
(02:42):
to him, meaning the delegate can't just say I'm leaving
change my mind. They aren't his. They belong to him.
What has to take place if what I'm saying turns
out to be true. What has to take place is
Joe Biden has to go to the convention. He has
to accept the nomination and then hand it off. After
(03:06):
he accepts it, he can turn because of the way
the Democrats wrote the rules, he can essentially turn and
hand it to anyone who freaking wants. He can hand
it to anyone he wants. That if it's going to happen,
that's how it will happen. Now, now that's a theory,
your theory on. They're not going to medicate him for
(03:28):
the debate and drop him out afterwards. What am I
supposed to do? Tell you? And you're an idiot. It's
just as solid as my theory. I gave you my theory. Now,
I don't believe you that they'll withhold his meds for
the Trump Biden debate because remember, yes, Joe Biden is
controlled and goes where he's told and whatnot. But him
and his wife. They still do make sure some things
(03:52):
are done a certain way. They would never let him.
Jill would never let them skip on Joe Biden's medication.
She just wouldn't allow that. Remember Jill Biden, Remember how
horrible this human being is. Jill Biden's husband has dementia.
Now this is her husband. Remember what. I know. Life
(04:13):
is hard and it doesn't always work out that way.
But I want you to listen to this. I want
you to listen to this speaking of Jill Biden. Listen
to that. We played it last night, We'll play it again.
Now let it play longer. Listen to how Harrison Butker
speaks about his wife, and you can just tell how
she must speak about him.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
For the ladies present today, Congratulations on an amazing accomplishment.
You should be proud of all that you have achieved
to this point in your young lives. I want to
speak directly to you briefly because I think it is
you the women who have had the most diabolical lies
told to you. How many of you are sitting here
now about to cross this stage and are thinking about
(04:54):
all the promotions and titles you are going to get
in your career Some of you may go on to
leads successful careers in the world, but I would venture
to guess that the majority of you are most excited
about your marriage and the children you will bring into
this world. I can tell you that my beautiful wife, Isabelle,
would be the first to say that her life truly
started when she began living her vocation as a wife
(05:18):
and as a mother. I'm on this stage today and
able to be the man I am because I have
a wife who leans into her vocation. I'm beyond blessed
with the many talents God has given me. But it
cannot be overstated that all of my success is made
possible because a girl I met in band class back
(05:40):
in middle school would convert to the faith, become my wife,
and embrace one of the most important titles of all homemaker.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Now let me ask you something, having never even heard
from her. If Harrison Butker was President of the United
States of America and developed dementia as happens in older people,
and embarrassed himself in front of a single room of
people even one time, how quickly do you think his
(06:17):
loving wife would step in and say we're done, my
husband's retiring and We're going to go get care because
the man I love is not going to be humiliated
at the end of his life in front of the
whole world. How quickly if she was president then she
developed dementia, how quickly would that man step in one
(06:40):
flub once grew up one time forgetting where she was?
He would step in. No, this is my bride, this
is the end of her life. We're going to go
get her some rest and care. We're done here. Joe
Biden's husband, Joe is mocked across the planet. Saudi Arabian
(07:02):
television shows do mockups of how old and lost Joe
Biden is. It is in intern It's not a national joke.
It's not a joke in Republican circles. Oh, Italy too,
I forgot about that, Chris, good call Italy did it too?
It is an international joke. Joe Biden at the end
of his life is an international embarrassment and an international punchline.
(07:28):
Everyone in separate languages make fun of him, and Jill,
Biden's wife doesn't give a crap. Must be good to
be first lady, is all I gotta say. Must be
real good to be first lady? What kind of a woman.
What kind of a witch would allow her husband, at
(07:52):
the end of his days to embarrass himself for what money, power, prestige?
Who would do such a thing? Yeah, so Jill Biden
is gonna make sure that Joe Biden has a souped
up cocktail and be ready to go because she got
(08:14):
to stay first. Lady Baby air Force one. Hey, Joe,
go out there and poop your pants in front of
the Pope again. If you need me, I'll be at Bloomingdale's.
Woo freaking terrible. Yeah, that just it seems me to
no end. And I hate Joe Biden, right, I can't
stand him. I can't stand him. He's been a liar
(08:35):
and a jerk to everybody the entirety of his career.
He's treated his staffers like crap, He's treated everyone around him.
I don't even like that man. And I look at
Joe when he embarrasses himself and yeah, we have fun
with it here on the show, and every time he does,
I think about his wife and I say, how in
the world could you allow this to go on? How
(08:55):
in the world could you allow your husband to be humiliated?
Have you been around people going through this? This is
what we see on camera, the anger, the stress they
struggle with behind it. It's heartbreaking. Maybe you know someone,
maybe someone very close to who's going through dementia right
now at the end of their lives. It's heartbreaking on everybody,
(09:16):
on the people suffering from it, on their loved ones.
They need rest, they need care, they need these things.
Jill Biden throws a suit on her husband and kicks
him to the wolves every day so she can be
first lady. Oh oh, she's gonna make sure he has
his drugs for the debate. Trusts me. Hey, oracle, he
say that comedies will bounce President All. I already read
(09:37):
that one, oracle. My wife and I are about to
have our first child. I'm a farrier and my wife
is a veteran. I have no idea how we'll pull
it off. Chris, what's a farrier? Will you look that up?
F A R R I E R. I want to
sound smart on the radio. I have no idea how
we'll pull it off, but we both want to homeschool her.
We refuse to hand our baby girl over to a
(09:59):
bunch of turbo communists so they can turn her into
one of them. What are your thoughts on homeschooling. He says, ps,
suck it up and buy the Night Vision. Your family
is depending on you. My wife and I love the show.
You can say my name is name is Jordan. Ah.
It's just so wonderful. They're about to have their first baby, Jordan.
Congrats to you and your bride. All right, homeschooling always
(10:21):
a spicy topic. I'll give you all my thoughts on
homeschooling in just a moment. Then we still have to
talk about KSO and many other things. First, though, let's
do something really quickly. Takes ten minutes. You got ten minutes.
Let's switch your cell phone service. It's not difficult. When
(10:41):
I tell people to switch from Verizon, switch from Att,
switch from T Mobile. What I tell people to do it,
they think it sounds like a pain. I gotta drive
down to the store, I got to wait in line.
Or I tell people to call Pure Talking. People think, well,
everyone already has my number. I don't want people to
lose my No, I've got my phone. You don't understand
(11:03):
it takes ten minutes on the phone. With Pure Talk,
you speak to an American who speaks English, and you
don't have to change your phone number or your phone.
It's all just done on the phone and by mail,
and you will pay significantly less, significantly less. Your bill
is gonna get cut in half. Switch to Pure Talk.
(11:25):
We switched to T Mobile and our bill got cut
in half. Dial pound two five zero and say Jesse Kelly.
Support a company that supports you and your values. Pound
two five zero, say Jesse Kelly. Tonight is the night.
Switch to Pure Talk. We'll be back. It is the
Jesse Kelly Show on a Friday. And ask doctor Jesse Friday.
(11:49):
And we are moving along here. Let's get to some
more emails, because we have many. Dear Oracle, I love
the show in the book, I hated the day myacpin broke. Yes,
I wore it nearly every day, and yes it went
through the wash of time or two. We need to
churn out another batch of those. By the way, don't
let me forget that, Chris. We'll find a discount or something.
You go find us, find us a good deal somewhere.
(12:10):
Ten months ago I was a couch potato when my
dime asked me to go to the gym with her.
Five months ago, I started running. Three months ago, I
signed up for my first marathon. Dad gun, This dude's
an animal. I listened to you via podcast every single
training run, and your Friday evening show gets me through
most of the way, most of the way through my
long runs. The longest so far is eighteen miles. Dang,
(12:34):
you inspire me, and I hope this inspires someone else.
I'd be honored if you said my name and his
name is Jason. How about that? PS. The Cleveland Marathon
is Sunday, May nineteenth. If you read this Friday, May seventeenth,
during hour three, it might give me the boost I
need to finish. And he finishes it off by saying
(12:54):
I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.
I have an idea that Jason is going to do
just finding Cleveland on Sunday, and best of luck to you,
sir marathons. The wife ran a half marathon one time,
and I thought about trying to do it with her.
It was back when we lived in DC, which is
a really cool place to do a marathon or something
like that. Well, probably not anymore because you get shot,
(13:16):
but back then you would run by all the monuments
and everything. I thought about doing it with her, and
then I watched there's just so much running. They were
just always running a lot of running. And I remember thinking,
that doesn't that doesn't look like fun. That's way too
much running. But it's it's very impressive the people that
do it. I did find out that a lot of
the marathon runners pooped themselves if they have to go,
(13:38):
and that wasn't ideal. I mean, it made me laugh,
but that, well, yeah, Chris, if you're like the competitive ones,
if you're out there and you're doing your thing, you
know you're running along and you gotta go and you're racing.
You're racing other people for time. You can't bank on
it being a fifteen minute or you gotta just unleash
the fury. What, Chris, They've got to have a diet
(14:02):
they go on to cleanse all that. Well, I don't
know how it works. I don't have any idea what
they're doing exactly, but you can go look it up
right now. There's some poopy pants on these marathon runs,
I'm telling you, And imagine running behind one of those guys.
All of a sudden you're slipping and you don't be terrible,
absolutely terrible. Now we know why the guys from Kenya
(14:22):
do at barefoot. Dear doctor Jesse, while I'm literally old
enough to be your mother, I have to tell you
how much I enjoy your sense of humor. My dad
was always doing things to embarrass my brother and I
when we were kids, such as standing up in a
movie theater and leading the national anthem like a conductor
on the orchestra. My question for you is, what's your
(14:44):
favorite thing to do to embarrass your boys? Hats off
to you and your wife were raising them right. Our
men could use, Our country could use more strong men
with a sense of humor. Her name's Wendy. Oh, that's easy.
Whether what's the thing I do that I love to
do to embarrass them the most?
Speaker 2 (14:59):
All right?
Speaker 1 (15:00):
Oh? You know I love food, and I fully acknowledge
that I have, as my wife calls it, an unhealthy
obsession with food. I know that, I know. I know
food actually governs my happiness in a lot of ways.
It's really unhealthy and wrong, I know. But I love food.
I love it. I love eating it, I love smelling it,
(15:23):
and I love talking about it. And I will. I
am that guy forty two going on eighty two, I
will talk to strangers about their food and I have
always been under the impression I've never had a negative
reaction to this at all, especially when you're dealing with
another dude. Long before I had a wife kids. If
(15:46):
I'm eating in a restaurant and some dude orders something
beside me, I'll look over. I'm gout, Dude, that looks good.
What is that I want to order that I've never
once had? Never once? Is there bring a negative response
all the time. Look, dudes take it as a compliment.
They're all, oh, yeah, man's this is the booden sandwich.
I highly recommend it. I get it anytime I come
(16:08):
in here. All right, thanks, man. It's very very cordial.
It's very very cordial. Well, boys, especially young men and women.
This applies to young men and women, even ones who
are raised in good homes and confident and happy. You're
not quite sure of yourself yet because you're just growing,
especially when you hit the twelve and thirteen year old
(16:30):
You're skinny, you can't talk to girls, you can't talk
to boys, you got a pimple on your face. You're
just not as sure of yourself as you will be
when you go on later in life. And so I
take advantage of that by whenever I'm out with the family,
if you're at a table next to me, I'm gonna
ask you what you're eating. If it looks good, I'll
(16:51):
ask them. I've done it to my sons because they're
so horrified by it, they'll just put their head in
their hands. I've done it in airports. Last time we
were in an airport. We were flying out of Houston.
I forget where we were going. We were flying out
of Houston and we were walking somewhere and some dude
walked was walking the other way. It walked right by us,
and he had a pizza and he had it open
(17:11):
and he was eating it and it looked fantastic. And
as we walked by, this look right there, said dude,
that looks amazing. Where'd you get that? He said, oh, man, thanks,
If you walk down there, it's like five gates down
on the left. My son's By the time I got
done talking to him, they were a half mile ahead
of me in the airport, just trying to get away
as fast as humanly possible. It is one of my
(17:31):
most favorite things to do because it combines two things.
I love food and embarrassing my sons. When you can
do both of those things when you look, as the
old saying goes, when you find something you truly love
to do, you will never work a day in your life,
embarrassing my wife and children. It's a passion project of mine.
(17:54):
And I have to say I'm pretty good. All right,
Let's move on to other things. Taxes. You haven't talked much. Taxes.
How how much is too much? Hang on? He doesn't
care if you believe him, but he's right. Jesse Kelly.
(18:16):
It is the Jesse Kelly Show on a Friday, and
asked doctor Jesse Friday, and I want to touch on
this really quickly before I get back to the questions.
This is a local news report out of Mississippi. Mississippi
pass legislation to keep the train. He's out of the
women's room.
Speaker 3 (18:34):
Now eight years later, Mississippi is passing a bathroom bill,
but supporters say it's legislation designed to protect women and girls.
The Safer Act stands for securing areas for females effectively
and responsibly act.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Have do not know of anybody in this body that
does not want to protect our women, our teenage daughters,
or our young granddaughters.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
Are young boys and young men for that matter as well.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
But the ACLU argues, yeah, yeah, yeah, we got it.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
I just I would get and point out that I'm
glad they passed this law. It's good that we're protecting
young women. It's good. It's good. It's good. But probably
not a great sign for the society we have when
you have to pass laws preventing men from going into
the women's room, that's that's a bad sign. Dear King
(19:23):
k SOO connoisseur, curious what your thoughts are of kso
that has corn added to it. It's an automatic no
for me. His name is Jake, he requested this. Corn
is Corn's okay? Look, I'm anti vegetable as a rule,
as a general principle, I'm anti vegetable, what Chris I am. However,
(19:48):
corn on the cob is actually not that bad when
you smear it in butter and then you dump pepper
all over it. Buttered and peppered corn on the cob
is fantastic. You could just sit and munch on that.
Watch your ear force buddies eat it with two hands.
Corn on the cob can be delicious, But anything other
(20:09):
than that corn is very, very, very average, And I
would never taint caso with it. What, Chris, corn tortillas
are not great. Chris, corn tortillas are for people with
no taste and no class and no sophistication. I have
to make them fresh. I'm sorry, but I married a
(20:29):
white woman. How am I supposed to make corn tortillas?
And how no one makes corn tortillas? In my eye,
I don't know anyone who makes corn tortillas. What you're
outside of your mind? You need a Mexican woman to
make the best tortillas. White dudes and white people do
not what Michael.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
A.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Low Tas, I don't know her. Who is she? What?
Speaker 2 (20:53):
What?
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Either way, corn tortillas are garbage and corn's garbage. Jessie,
I don't believe I heard any politician answer this. But
how much taxes are enough? Well, I'm not going to
answer the question me Personally, I would go with something
like a flat tax every single person pays ten percent.
But I will say this, it's very very revealing if
(21:18):
you know how to listen to the communists, It's very
revealing the things they say. What's What's one of the
ultimate lines that democrats use every time Republicans try to
do the one decent thing they ever do, which is
cut your taxes. What do Democrats say? What do they say?
They pass tax cuts that weren't paid for. They pass
(21:44):
tax cuts that weren't paid for. Excuse me, it's our money.
The government spending is what's not paid for. But what
it really reveals is how how they view the government
citizen relationship. Because when you say that they pass tax
(22:06):
cuts that weren't paid for, what it does is it
makes it very, very obvious that you think all of
my money actually belongs to you, and that anything I
keep you have simply allowed me to keep in your benevolence.
That's why they talk the way they talk tax cuts
that weren't paid for. Gosh, these people, Jesse. Don't you
(22:28):
think Trump's pick for VP must be the best person
to become president after Trump's second term ends. That person
is Ronda Santis. We are in an unprecedented situation. Desantus
knows d C, knows our state houses. He can help
Trump the most, while Trump can groom him to run
for president. Your thoughts, I need to burst everyone's bubble again.
(22:50):
If you're a Trump person hoping for this, or if
you're a DeSantis person, hoping for this. I know this
is going to be difficult to hear, so I'm going
to explain something to you. And this is not a theory.
Remember I tell you when I have a theory, and
I tell you when I know things. These two men
do not like each other. They do not like each
other even a little bit. Donald Trump is offended beyond
(23:12):
belief that Ron De Santis challenged him in the primary.
He is so offended by it that as recently as
a month ago, he was trying to find primary challenges
against any congressman who endorsed Rond de Santis. That's how
all I know it's bad. That's how deep it goes.
He is offended beyond belief. And Ron de Santis is
(23:35):
mortified by Donald Trump. They are not friends. He is
not an admirer. He considers Donald Trump to be the
most selfish idiot in politics. Now, I know nobody wants
to hear that. Everyone wants to think that these two
juggernauts are gonna get together and work everything out. I
don't care what you think about anything I just said.
I'm telling you right now, these two were not going
(23:55):
to get together. The Santas endorse Trump has announced he
will fund raise for Trump as kind of a that's
kind of a thing everybody does. Trump's the Republican nominee.
I'm a Republican governor. I'm a gonna throw you a
big fundraiser at some fantasy mansion in Florida and then say,
I fundraised for you. These two men are never getting together.
They have completely opposite views on life and government. And
(24:19):
now the rift is way too deep. And you can
email me and say, but they should set aside that.
Trump should set that outside. Desantus should set that aside. Okay,
should have Kuda woulda. These are men gigantic type as
with gigantic egos, and they're not going to do that.
That's not how men work. Donald Trump is the billionaire,
former president of the United States of America and now
(24:40):
Republican nominee to be president again. Donald Trump thinks pretty
highly of himself. Ron DeSantis is the greatest governor in America,
probably the greatest governor in my entire lifetime. Has turned
Florida from a purple state into a blood red bastion
of freedom. And he's pretty stinking common that he knows
(25:00):
exactly what he's doing. He has a big ego too,
and he ain't gonna sacrifice it for him. They're not
going to work together. You can drop the DeSantis for
VP stuff. You know it's gonna be. You think it's
too bad now, Chris, I think I've said this before,
but you can go ahead and write it down again.
Wait for the next one. You want to know what's
(25:21):
coming in twenty twenty eight, here's what's gonna come. So Vivek.
You know Vivek, A lot of you are Vivek fans. Well,
you saw how Vivek treated Ron DeSantis during the primary
versus how you treat he treated Trump right every day.
It was the Santus is a scumbag. This guy sucks.
I love Trump, He's the best wood Trump. Love you.
(25:44):
You know why he did that. You know why he
did that, right. Vivek, for whatever you think of him,
love him or hate him, is a very intelligent, very
ambitious person. He wants to run for president again in
twenty twenty eight. He did all that at to set
himself up as the Trump heir apparent. He's gonna try
(26:06):
to take all those America First Maga Trump people and
get Trump's blessing. Trump's endorsement and be the Republican nominee
for president in twenty twenty eight. And Ron de Santus
is one thousand percent going to run again in twenty
twenty eight. There's going to be a vvak vivak. However,
say it Ron DeSantis clash coming again in about four years,
(26:31):
So you can might as well gird your loins for
it now and buckle up because it's coming. Chris. I
know that's a long one. Go ahead and notch that
one down, buddy, because when that one comes true, I'm
just gonna be obnoxious. Don't worry, Chris, it's not complicated.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
Not an attempt to ban TikTok.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Well, it's an attempt to make TikTok better. Tick tech
toe A winner, a winner, A winner, Chris. We'll see
who the winner is going to be. You can be
a winner too if you take a male vitality stack
from choc Did you know that? Hey? Look, do you
feel down a lot? Do you want do you want
(27:09):
to be able to carry ten box? It is as
heavy as ten boxes that you might be moving. Then
you need to get your t levels up. Look, I
can't make any guarantees. I'll just say this. You take
a male vitality stack from Chalk natural herbal supplements, twenty
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(27:31):
could carry eleven or twelve is as heavy as ten
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want to carry twelve boxes. Go to c hoq dot
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Promo code Jesse. Huge discounts on subscriptions for the lifetime
(27:52):
of the subscription. So go ten boxes, maybe twenty boxes.
Who knows they have female vitality stacks for the ladies too.
We have one segment left and there are questions all
over the map. Political and non kurger Loins were getting ready.
It is the Jesse Kelly Show. Final segment of The
(28:14):
Jesse Kelly Show on a Friday, and ask doctor Jesse Friday,
I hope you are ready to dominate the weekend by
spending time with your family in your community. I had
to do a political thing last night. They asked me
to moderate the debate. There was a forum a candidate
for him. I don't think I call it a debate.
(28:35):
They're trying to choose who's going to run the Republican Party.
In Texas and whatnot. And I'll say this, it was
really old in there, and I didn't like it. And
it's not that I don't mind. It's not that I
don't like spending time around old people. But man, I'm
forty two and I'm pretty sure I was the youngest
(28:57):
one in the building. Oh, we have got to have
more than just old people get involved in politics. Yeah,
old people are gonna get involved in politics, and that's good.
We need them involved. But we can't just rely on
the freaking senior citizens. It was an old crowd out there,
an old crowd. We younger people have got to dig in.
(29:19):
We got to dig into. We can't just leave it
on the poor senior citizens. They're on the back nine
and we're banking on them to save us. All to
your showgun oracle. My wife finally heard about the meme
of how often men think about the Roman Empire and
asked me if there are other weird her words things
I think about. I'm a little embarrassed to admit the
(29:39):
amount of time I've spent thinking about and watching videos
of hypothetical animal fights. If there's a video about a
lion versus a tiger or a silver back versus a grizzly.
I've seen it, thought deeply about it, and played Devil's
advocate about what I decided. Do you have any weird
obsessions you'd like to confess on radio? Okay, First of all,
(30:02):
you should understand something, sir. Your animal fights video is
the most dude thing ever. And here's how you know
it's the most dude thing ever. Won I do the
same thing I have since I was a child. Always
wanted to know who would win this or that, this
or that, who would win what would happen here? So
(30:23):
you're not alone? And here's how not alone you are.
They used to do things like this in the ancient
world all the time, the gladiator games. They'd put the
animals in there against people against each other because there
is an appetite to see who is the strongest, who
is the best. As for me, all right, so I'm
(30:49):
not a survivalist. I really am not. Yes, I do preparations,
I do, you know, ammunition and food in emergency water.
And I do make prep I really genuinely do. But
I do not freak about it, and I'm not obsessed
about it. I don't spend the weekends building a nuclear
bunker in my backyard. However, being abandoned on a desert island,
(31:15):
you know, cast away sto Robinson Crusoe's style. I probably
probably once a day I think about how I would do,
what I would do. I've gone through. If I'm sitting
there daydreaming on the way to work, I've gone through
on my head, how I would catch fish? Am I
(31:36):
one hundred percent sure I could start a fire? What
would I do for shelter? If I have thought about
this extensively, And I don't know why, it's it's not
a it's not that I want it, obviously, it's a
I want to know if I if I'm made of
strong enough stuff to survive, and would I try to
(31:58):
get off the island? Would I stay there forever? Would
I try to build a raft? Would I just write
SOS in the sale? Oh? I've done it all in
my head. I've done it all in my mind. I've
built an entire city for me. I've bet all I
know and I'm not even a builder. I don't even
know what I'm doing. But I don't know why. I
want to know if I could do it. And no,
(32:19):
I'm not going to sign up to do the show
Survivor or something like that. I'm not doing any of that,
but I tell you I've thought about it many, many,
many times, and I'll tell you one thing. If I went,
I would most definitely have a hatchet. If I was allowed,
I'd have a knife, and I would definitely bring along
my burn a pistol launcher, because what Chris listen burn
(32:43):
a pistol launchers. Not only are they a non lethal option,
I believe in lethal and non lethal. They're a non
lethal option. They shoot these pepper balls or tear gas balls.
They're legal in all fifty states with no background check,
no permit required. They mail it to your on tour,
so no matter what island I'm on, it will be
(33:03):
legal for me to have my Berna. What Chris, go,
get a burn a pistol launcher. Swap teams around the
country use it. These things save lives. They're already saving lives.
Go look, over half a million are already gone and
climbing people are obsessed with these things, and they should be.
Berna is b Why RNA Berna dot com slash Jesse
(33:26):
gets you ten percent off B Why Rna susy? These
things are awesome and practicing with them is so much fun.
Get the practice rounds, you won't regret it. And now
here's a headline by go you know you know the
thing emails we didn't get to you. What do you
(33:47):
think about the Glen Youngkin as Donald or think about
Glen Younkin as Donald Trump's vice president? I like it
a lot. If we thought Virginia was in play, and
it might be, I guess I like it a lot.
I hear great things about Glenn. I hear he's not
nearly as as moderate establishment as he appears. He has
to appear that way because it's Virginia. But from what
(34:08):
I hear, and I don't know him, but I know
people who know him. I've heard he's hardcore, but he
has to do the kind of will I'm just a
nice Republican type things. He's trying to get elected in Virginia.
I've heard he's pretty good. Hey, mister soft mouth, crispy
chip hater. My wife is the epitome of a norma.
She literally knows nothing about politics. She comes to me
(34:28):
for all her political opinions. Do you think single women
vote Democrat because they're uninformed doults like my wife? He said,
just kidding. If so, can we amend the Nineteenth Amendment
to married women only? What stay you listen? I don't
know why you guys complain about this. You think my
wife doesn't ask me who to vote for, who to
vote for, what issues to vote on? And she is
(34:50):
a political person, but she still comes and asks me.
And you know what, I wouldn't want it any other way.
Because I get two votes in my house, I have
twice the voting power of you. Mister pre diabetic, I'm fine,
I'm not pre diabetic. When I was in the Corps,
guys in the galley and in the band were promoted
more easily over the grunts. Why was this? There's a
(35:13):
launtery list of reasons why guys in some fields get
promoted faster than guys in other fields. A lot of
it can come down to simply room. How much room
is there? Meaning, if you're in the Marine Corps, they're
only going to promote so many guys to sergeant in
an area or in a unit. So do a lot
(35:36):
of guys qualified? Do not many guys qualified? If you're
in one of the band, I mean, how many frigging
guys are in the band? So there are gonna be
slots that are going to open up. Jesse. When people
show up at my door uninvited, I have a blanket
policy to slightly open the inner door, but keep the
security door closed. Tonight, an order teenage girl came by
(35:56):
and I pulled my standard standard operation and I got
yelled at by my wife and kids. Am I a jerk?
I think I'm helping because I never give money or
buy their stuff so they save time. See I'm helpful. Listen, Uh,
I don't think it's wrong to answer the door halfway.
To only open the door halfway, it's certainly better than
(36:17):
how I answer the door. I answer the door with
a weapon every time. Every time. It's in my right hand.
It's hidden behind my thigh. You can't see it, but
every single time I'm turned to the side if I
answer my door, I have a gun. It all. There's
that's That's how I do it. My family's mortified. Now
I'm not changing. I like me. It's the weekend. Time
put your phone down. We'll pick it up again on Monday.
(36:38):
Medal of honor Mondays come and we'll have a blast.
All right, that's all.
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