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May 15, 2024 16 mins
Sorry, starters. Conversation starters!
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Episode Transcript

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(00:00):
So, obviously we are in thattime of year where there's a lot of
graduations taking place, a lot ofgraduation parties taking place. But not just
that, there's also a lot ofreunions taking place. There are going to
be situations where maybe you're not theperson having the reunion, but you are
a guest of someone having the reunion. Even if it is your reunion.

(00:23):
You may meet somebody at the reunionor see somebody at the reunion that you
weren't really close to and stuff.But the point that I'm getting at,
there's a lot of there's a lotof activity going on right now where you
could be in a kind of alarge group of people with people that you're
not normally around, right And oneof the important things that you need to
be able to do is in avery quick short amount of time, is

(00:47):
engage in small talk. Okay,right, and listen. There are some
people that are not good at smalltalk, and then there are some people
that are like, hey, let'sgo. I feel like the look at
someone when he says, you,Elliott, fancy yourself as being very good
at it. I do feel likeI'm good at small talk. I do

(01:07):
feel like that is he looking atsomeone yet No, I already know you're
not what not really me? Yeah? Not really? Yeah, and uncomfortable
with it? Yeah it can be. Yeah. I feel like though,
if somebody drives it, you're you'rebetter than you driving it. Yes,

(01:32):
I would say, yes, right, no I'm not. That's that's how
I see you. Okay, Sonot horrible at it? Okay, not
I mean I'm no you no,no, no, no, But if
somebody else drives it, you're better. Yes. So that's why I for
you have eleven full proof ways tostart a conversation. So I will start

(01:56):
the conversation with you, and thenyou will just respond on these are great
what what do they call these?Like little conversation starters? And listen,
here's what you don't want to do, right, here's what you don't want
to do, Diane. You don'twant to get up to somebody and go,
hey, so you're having a goodtime. I would never say that,
so and what are they going tosay? Yes? Yeah? And

(02:17):
then that's okay, one word answer. Okay, I gotta take notes.
Is there is there? So that'sthat could be applied to any If you're
gonna yes, no, you couldrun into some trouble is there one?
Because the event I'm worried about isa reunion? Is there? Or do
you have twenty from college? Oh? That's right, that's right. It's

(02:39):
the weekend before we go to aDisney right, are you supposed to stay
away from? Like? So,like, what what have you done for
two decades? Yes? Fill mein? No, no, you don't
know? No, no, no, no, no no, because that's
opening up a can of worms.It's opening up a can of worms.

(02:59):
And also show that you have nolike you. At that point you may
as well go and go. Iknow, I don't talk. I've never
talked to you in twenty years.Like, it's just it's not good.
Well for some people, that isthe truth. I will not have seen
actually the majority of these people fortwenty years. All right, So listen.
Instead of instead of Nicol and Diamondthis thing and nippicking this to death,

(03:22):
I the three of us were we'reall together, were gathered up and
again, don't think, just speak, Okay, I'm going to like we're
it's uncomfortable. We haven't really seeneach other. We kind of know.
Diane is even part of the reunion. She's just a wife of somebody said,

(03:43):
so we're just here and again,please don't think, just speak right.
Oh hey everybody, Hey, what'sthe best dining experience you've ever had?
Oh, ConA, let's say againSouth Africa. Oh really, Oh
that sounds nice. Diane, Well, that's kind of weird out of a
box, isn't it. I've nevertalked to you in my life and you're

(04:06):
gonna go, hey, what's thebest dining experience you've ever had? Yeah,
that's the first time. I ateit. Me. I've got to
create like a whole best of inmy mind of the like, oh,
these are like you should know thatlife highlights. I've never thought about that.
The best meals I can tell youboth actually the first meal I ever
had at Melos in Montreal and thevery first meal I had at Olives when

(04:29):
Steve was there. Let me tellyou about my buddy, Steve, Like,
thank you, I had no transition. Yes, I tell you too.
I'm still waiting on Diane and anything. I ate its last week we
Scott number one. Even Kristen hadone. The oh yeah, Kristen,

(04:51):
what was yours? Just made aface like she had an answer. Oh,
she's still dealing with the chaos.The don't turn your mic on if
it's not if it's going to hurtthe food delivery. Wait, what when
was it my food experience? Yeah, it's not like thank you, Diana.
Formal? What does that mean?Mine wasn't formal? I eat seafood?

(05:15):
Well, mine's it turtle fries.So I'm sorry you eat turtle had
a turtle fries? You take them, you throw them right in the big
old friar. Listen to that shellgy pop pop pop pop pop. Well
it sounds like celebration. So allright, very good, all right Christmas.

(05:36):
Back to the issues at hand.Let's just start on focus. Hey,
so hey, listen, this isawesome like seeing everybody again. Hey,
what's been the best part of yourweek so far? I would say
my, uh, catching up withold friends, had a great dining experience.

(06:02):
Wait, am I supposed to answerthis like I'm ether union or right
now? Are you just asking meright now? Because that doesn't make sense.
No, like he like our actualweek this week or any situation.
Oh, I just found out I'mdoing out and back for Disney. Call
it a day trip to Disney.Police were day tripping to Disney. Diane,

(06:27):
let's see I got a summer vacationbooked. Really excited about that.
See that's good because she could transition. You can transition into people will walk
away from me. I may aswell have said my turtle fry. Oh
you know what, what's the hobbyyou've always wanted to pick up? Oh
my god? These are these areodd? Just speak, these are ice

(06:49):
breakers. I always wished I playedthe drums. The never played a musical
instrument. But what brought that on? Why the drums? Because I think
chick drummers cool, sexist. Yes, you're asking me to speak and not
think. So who, like,who are your favorite chick drummers? I

(07:10):
like, well all of them?Really, there's so many. Diane sucks
at this. I do, don't, don't, but I'm helping you.
These are these are odd conversation starters. But they're very odd, kind of

(07:30):
off the wall, which I doappreciate. They're they're they're they're actually not
off the wall. It is youknow what's off the wall? Hey,
so who are you here with?Scott? Oh? Okay, which one
is? Hee? He's standing overthere? Yeah awesome, he's about six
feet Till you ever measured things,I know, Diane too well. So,

(07:54):
hey, oh Diane, nice tomeet you. What's the nicest thing
Uh, anyone's ever said about you? Oh? I look like you and
McGregor. Oh, that's funny.I look like Eric Banna. Okay,
those were real answers. Okay,okay, well now now I'm just thinking

(08:15):
of famous people. I've been toldthat I resemble. But that's what you
both answered with. That's the firstthing that came to mind, the superficial.
Okay, I can't think of anythinganybody said that's nice to me.
Oh, go to hell. Ohyou're fishing for a compliment. No,
that said nice things about you inthe past. Oh, you said you

(08:37):
like my voice. My boss saidhe likes my voice. Yeah, I
would talk to hr. I knowwhat you do. I can't answer.
I can't answer anything. Right,y'all are going to crap on it.
But you're not even answering. Ijust did after being prom because you're both
like, oh, I look likeEric Banna said nobody, that's not that's

(09:00):
true. Somebody said that somebody forsomething. Hey, y'all giving away a
trip. Where's that guy that lookslike Eric Bannon? Oh? Here we
go, Here we go. I'mjust enjoying a beer. Hey, do
you have any recommendations for any goodbooks or TV shows? I'm really looking

(09:22):
for something new to start. I'mreally looking forward to that the Brat Pack
documentary, which is coming out onHulu in a couple of weeks. So
is it good? Oh my god, vander Pump Reunion last night? Thank
you, thank you, thank you. Okay, I'm all in on baby

(09:46):
Rein Deer. I mean I've alreadyseen it. I hated him. Yeah,
no, I'm ready to go.I'll take any angle. Ready to
go? Are you allowed to gowith something so like serious? Oh?
Yeah, that could trigger somebody.We know people who have had soccers in
college. The hey man, Hey, can I get in on the convo?

(10:09):
Where'd everyone go? He needs adrink? Hey, Elliot alreadys had
a beer? Elliott can't leave?He has a beer? Is that the
key of these? Never have alcoholon you? Hey? Did anybody try
the uh span of cope? Ihaven't. I've just been eating this pile
of dog crap. I picked itup outside. So good. Hey,

(10:35):
good to see you. Jack theBulldoye just pooping everywhere, funny thing.
I'm not even circumcised. Oh hey, I'm just thinking while we're all standing
here. Yeah, yeah, Hey, would you rather be a time traveler
or mind reader? Mind reader?Why you figure out what somebody's really thinking

(11:05):
about when they're sitting there talking toyou about something. No, you go
time traveler, because if you answerwith what you did and your reason,
then everyone's thinking like, oh,she's hated this conversation or he's wishing he
was getting a beer. I'm alltime traveler. I like to go back
to the point right before it quit. That's you have to say time traveler,

(11:31):
right, that's a trick question.The mind reader is rough because you
can paint yourself into a corner,which is like the last thing you want
to be doing. Oh so,like, uh so, mind reading?
If I could read your mind rightnow, what would it say? I
hate this? That's on the listof things not to discuss at Thanksgiving?

(11:52):
Politics, religion and mind reading.The Yeah, mind reading, I mean,
I get it. But you don'twant to come out and just go,
hey, y'all believe in time travellike then you're the free okay,
Like, oh I dropped my beer, I better get another one like you
did a week ago with that TikTokguy. That guy was good who went

(12:15):
into the shed. Remember that Igot a good story that I could relate
to mine. Oh my gosh,listen, I'm excited to see my friends,
but as we said, there area lot of people that I haven't
seen in twenty years. Well,then feel free to ask them, what's
the most interesting thing you've learned recently. I learned about Oh boy, I

(12:37):
like Diane, I got nothing.Oh. I learned all about the vehicles
that were featured in the James Bondfilm franchise. Oh I didn't even know
you were in the Bond I canI can transition to the spy music,
because that's what I say, whatyou do. That's why I was to
say, like the pressure and howmany weeks Saturday, two weeks now?

(13:01):
Right, the pressure of knowing howmany conversations I'll be having to think two
and three steps ahead. That makesme nervous. Yeah, but that's what
you gotta do. No, you'retrying to give us the tools to not
have that happen. Oh no,No, But then you would say,
oh I learned No, But oh, I was just saying, like,
oh, I learned about the JamesBond vehicles. I didn't know you were

(13:22):
into bond Well, no, actuallyI'm not. But I went to the
Spy Museum. They have this awesomeexhibits called bond in I'm forty minutes into
a conversation right now. Oh,and then you know what I can do,
because I know none of these kidsknow about the wharf because it was
obviously developed after we graduated. Yes, I can do Pendry Moonraker and then
tell them all about the retail optionsthere, storefronts, bars, restaurants,

(13:46):
everything, anthem, the whole thing. Diane still over there trying to get
that one fly to land back inher mouth. Yeah, this is good.
Are you done? Hey? Thatbelt pairs nicely with your outfit.
How did you learn to be socreative with your accessories? Honestly, I

(14:13):
I've seen the Devil wears Prada alot, and I know those two belts
they're so different. But I wasable to pair them that way because you
know that just that saloon skirt.Yeah, yeah, I didn't realize I

(14:39):
was this awkward and bad Adam,and these are with people, you know,
I know, but we're trying toimagine it in a context of what
have become kind of strangers. I'lltell you what it was like. Did
you guys have any issues getting here? No? I mean it was fine.
I mean was expensive. But youknow that always gets me thinking,

(15:03):
if you could do anything you wantwithout having to worry about money, what
would you want to do. Itraveled the world, and why because there's
a million countries I haven't seen andI want to see them. The like
which was I don't get any timeoff. That's the problem. Oh my
god, you have so many avenuesyou could pick now for work, pleasure,

(15:24):
world affairs. That could be dangerous. I thought I could be dangerous.
I thought, didn't I I justtalked to I just talked to Scott.
I thought he said that you wereyou were going somewhere. Didn't you
just go to Disney? Or areyou going to Disney? Well, yeah,
Scott didn't get to go. Hewouldn't have gone anyway, but he
But no, it was a itwas a work trip. It was fun
though we missed our flight. Wehad to drive thirteen hours backs. I

(15:48):
promised you guys, it would bework. Hey, what's your perfect Saturday?
Get up early on coffee? Ido get up early anyway, I
get up early because the cats wakeme up to eat, and I get
up and have coffee when the houseis quiet, and I clean the kitchen
and start laundry. Cat lady alert, Okay, I like to put her

(16:15):
around the house and tidy things.Got your ultimate Saturday. She has pneumonia.
No, she doesn't. That back, I got a chip. All
right. Well, Diane, you'reready to go? I am you are
ready? Yeah? Got it.I hope I don't meet any strangers in
the next couple of weeks. Ihope you do. In a forty minute

(16:40):
line on June fifth,
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