Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Man and a woman get married,right, they're in their early twenties.
Unfortunately, does not work out right, so they get divorced like two years
later, and it doesn't matter.I mean, it matters, but like
they don't have anything, you knowwhat I mean. So there's no kids,
they're not tied up in things.So in terms of it being a
divorce, easy, peasy, limitssqueezy. Yeah, it gets done.
(00:22):
Obviously, the two of them don'treally like each other that much. I
do know just from reading. Thewoman really has a low opinion of the
ex husband, a low opinion likehe was really immature, like whatever,
you know, she's blaming. Soanyway, she does not like him.
Let's just suffice it to say.Okay, now let's fast forward fifteen years.
(00:47):
Okay, the woman, Okay,forget about the guy. The woman.
She's now remarried. She has twokids of her own, she's happily
married. She lives in a Idon't know where she relocated to, in
the in the in the in thearea, but she she moved into a
you know, a nice neighborhood andthere's other kids in the neighborhood, and
(01:08):
as is normal there, they meetpeople in the in the neighborhood, right,
So anyway they they're in, they'relike the neighborhood has like a little
park or something in it. Soanyway, mom takes her two kids.
This divorce mom who's now fifteen yearslater married and has kids, she takes
the She takes the kids and theygo to like the little neighborhood park.
Fine, that's normal. While she'sthere, there's a bunch of other kids
(01:32):
that are there, she ends upmeeting this woman who also has kids around
the same age, and they kindof become mommy friends. Right, So
they're they're friendly with each other.Their kids get along, which is nice.
And so she's got like this friendin the neighborhood that she's kind of
become close with. They'll go tocoffee together. The other woman will come
(01:53):
over to her house and they'll havecoffee and everything's fine, and everything's good,
right, no problems you're following,Yeah, good. The they decide,
both of them decide, hey,you know what, let's sign the
kids up for swim team. Okay, So the woman divorce woman now has
(02:14):
she signs her two kids up.Her mommy friend signs their two kids up,
and now everybody's going to be onswim team, and then everything that's
involved in that swim team coach orcoaches send out an email welcoming everybody,
and it's one of those emails that'sgot fifty five thousand people in the two
lists or field right right, Soshe starts reading through it and a name
(02:40):
really sticks out to her. Now, keep in mind, the mommy friend
says that she's also married and everything. Her husband travels a lot for work
and whatever. No problem. Soanyway, the list comes out and she's
reading through the list to see who'son it, and she sees mommy friend
(03:00):
right right there, very common lastname on mommy friend, but attacked right
next to mommy friend is what ismommy friend's husband's name? Okay, it's
her ex husband. Oh like,so I'm a little confused. Yes,
(03:21):
so this is this This woman's newfriend from the park turns out to be
her ex husband's new stay. Yes, and they have kids and she has
been She had no idea, butthey've got an established friendship. It's just
now is when she figures it out. Yeah, she had no idea that
the mommy friend husband is her exhusband who she hated. Okay, well,
(03:46):
well, I thought, as theysaid it was, it was two
years, but it wasn't awful.No, but she she found him really
immature, like she just she didn'tlike him. Clearly they got divorced,
but the terms weren't like criminal fromher. No, no, no,
no, no, no no,she just hated him. How did that
not come up until? Yeah,the sign up sheet for a swim team.
(04:10):
How would they come up? Idon't know the other woman talking about
conversation, Yeah, the other womantalking about her husband, like she said,
oh no, everybody. You know, everybody that you met when Marley
was a kid, you know theirhusband's name probably not thank you. I
don't mean just the name itself,though, but he says the last name
was common. The first name isnot as much like what the kids looked
like. Why why if you sawthis other woman's kids, you would look
(04:35):
at him and go like, wow, it kind of looks like my ex
husband. No, how weird wouldthat be? How would you know?
But Okay, so fifteen years later, she hasn't. It's not like she's
had any contact with the ex.Right, No, okay, So I
mean if you're gonna like, areyou gonna tell mommy this Mommy, you
(04:58):
have to so you're gonna go.Hey, by the way, you know
what I haven't known for the lastsix months that we've really hit it off.
And guess what I just figured out? And then the the kind of
guy that you're married to. Iused to be married to him and I
hate him. The current well,I wouldn't say that. Well, what
are you gonna say, you like, fifteen years later, you still hate
him? Or do you? Areyou asking me? You know, I'm
(05:19):
just saying, like everybody I everdated I hate Okay? Would she?
But would at this point? Wouldshe be indifferent? Like we've moved on?
I wouldn't be okay, would bezero chance. No, But I
mean, at least give the Imet a guy like hanging out in the
park and it turns out that heis now married to the Shannon girl that
(05:39):
I was with for seven years.I would I'd move, Okay, I
wouldn't. I'd force them to move. But maybe, I mean definitly,
trench Yard. Maybe current wife ismature. Is this why you guys broke
up? Yeah? No, Iactually we got along. You have to
be like, guess what I justfigured out? Okay, but that looks
suspect. Yeahs like you just figurethat out with each other. God,
(06:03):
I didn't realize it until I sawthe name on the distribution list for the
swim team. Why say anything?Oh well, I guess if you're gonna
see that swim you know, youknow what looks even more suspect when you
don't say anything, no, no, no, no, then you have
to be all performative. What no, I was gonna say. What if
you go the other way where yousee him a swim team and you're like,
oh my god, dick okay,and then the woman goes, what
(06:27):
do you mean to go? Liketeen years later, like move on,
you both you've both got would hateit. I would tell Jackie you can't
be friends with the new families andby the way, kids sit down because
you there's I don't care. Idon't care, no no, no,
no, I don't care. Youfigure out how to beat them in the
pool. I'd have those kids traininglike I am not losing God to my
(06:49):
ex's kids. Oh my god.I would be petty swim team, it's
not okay. Tell tell Katie Lideckiit's up and swim teams putting yourself in
the wait. Yes, if you'rethe ex husband, do you tell your
(07:10):
new wife, like, please pleasestop hanging out with my ex? Oh?
Oh oh yeah, I understand you'rethinking about I'm thinking of the sporting
of aspects of it, right,But what about like I would say I
don't want those kids at my house. Well, no, these are your
(07:33):
kids. If you're the ex husband, they're your kids. No, I'm
talking about her kids. Oh okay, but are you Are you requesting that
they break off the friendship or youwill at least open to allowing the two
of them to still be at leastplayground friends. You can be playground friends,
(07:56):
but I will never interact with thatfamily, right, because ultimately it's
not I have one of those situationsdecision alone. Yeah, but Jackie has
a friend whose husband I don't getalong with. And I'm not telling Jackie
she can't be friends with them,but I have said I will never I'll
see I'll see the woman. Thesame thing. It's not no, but
I'm saying you can. You canmanage that relationship. Uh yeah, So
(08:20):
like I'll tell Jackie I'll see thewoman, but I'll never, I'll like,
don't ever ask the four of usto go to dinner. Don't never
ask like, hey, can wego over there? Their kids are having
a birthday when they were younger.No, never see him again in my
life. So you want to befriends with them, fine, but you'll
be a single mom friend with themunless the wife comes over. Then I'll
be there, which she never has. But I won't be around the husband.
(08:46):
Your sin. Yeah, so that'swhat you would do. You could
say, hey, listen, youwant to be mommy friends and go to
the park, that's fine, butI never I never want that. And
by the way, when we goto swim team, you could choose.
It's your choice. You choose,and I'm not saying that in the pa
way. You could sit with youcould sit with them and and cheer on
the kids, or you could sitwith me. But I will not sit
(09:09):
with them, am I patty yahy. So obviously you weren't in a relationship
with this husband. No, whydo you have some sort of heated rivalry
You just don't like the person.We don't get along because of there was
yeah, well several yeah, therewere. There were several fallings fallings out.
(09:31):
Oh so you guys were close,We were friendly, So it's nothing
like being married to him. Zerozero, No, not at all.
I'm just saying you can manage thattype of relationship. Yeah. Now,
if you're the friend, the mommyfriend, if you're the if you're the
mommy friend, so the person who'snot in that house, right, the
(09:54):
ex husband or the new wife.If if you're the if you're the ex
wife, are you comfortable keeping thatrelationship going? That's on you. I
mean, I don't know because I'venever been in that I've never been in
that model. I have no idea. Well, it's not like they're vacation
together and their besties. They're prettyfriendly, Diane. Okay, because they're
(10:16):
hanging out, they're having coffee.Okay, true, but their house Okay.
Like, I know you accidentally befriendedyour ex husband's wife, but could
you be friends with your ex husband'snew wife? See what I did there,
Christen? Doesn't I be friends withmy ex husband's new wife. You
have to pull a space between beand friends so they know it's not the
(10:37):
word be friend again? Rights,So can I be friend friends my ex
husband's new wife? No, eventhough you didn't know, it was an
organic start to the relationship, whichone am I who am I? Who
am I? Am I the exhusband? No? We already discussed that
role. Who am I mommy box? No, mommy friend? You are
(11:00):
the ex wife okay from fifteen yearsago? Who's not who? Right now,
we're not really talking about her newlife. We're just talking about her
being a separate unit who accidentally befriendedtogether befriended her ex husband's new spouse,
right right, So what is thequestion for me? Could you continue to
(11:20):
be friends with her that new spouse? I mean, I question their judgment.
Oh my god, it's fifteen yearsMove on, you're you're not the
same You're not the same person youwere fifteen years ago. There's other fish
go out, that's yeah, there'sa million people you're gonna be friends with.
(11:43):
That. That's what You've already gotthis established friendship going before you were
able to figure this wrinkle out.Well, we're never having family life.
It's fine. Yeah, that's fine. You don't want to get that familiar
that's I don't. I don't.So you can the two of us still
have coffee? That's what it is. Yeah you can? Yeah, No,
(12:03):
you're the one? Yeah? Areyou? Would you still go get
coffee with this new wife. Yeahyou will. Wait, am I you
are the ex wife? Okay?Am I still going to get friends with
the mommy friend? Yeah that wasthe question. And probably not as I
mean not now now you're going tocut things off definitely, not as frequently
(12:24):
like maybe often, but you wouldn'tyou wouldn't try to sabotage their relationship.
Now he's just sabotazing, sabotaging swimthe No. No, I don't have
to because I know, I knowit's gonna end because the guy with the
guy was a total ass h.Okay, you're you're not adding a lot
to the story that you did sayat first, young and dumb, in
(12:46):
full of ash, you move on? Okay? I have you haven't?
Okay, so you're still talking.You've been married for twenty years and you
still talking about how, first ofall, it's only fifteen years later.
How have I been married for twentyNo? No, I was married for
(13:07):
twenty years. Have you being marriedto ass h? I'm talking about real
life scenario right now. You've beenmarried for twenty years and you still talk
about how you hate old ex girlfriendslike, move the f on? Are
you talking about current Elliott? Yes? Oh yeah, I know I hate
everything. I hate them, butI do. That was the only thing
so far in this discussion that's beenobvious. Some of it's been very convoluted
(13:30):
and hard to understand. We allknew she was talking about current Elliott the
yeah no, no, no,I'm not moving on. No, I
don't like any of them. No. Do I sit at home and like
stick needles and dolls. No?No. But like if somebody was like,
oh, but if you ran in, like you and Jackie are walking
into like, uh, Walmart,and you you happen to run into somebody,
(13:54):
would you not say hello? Iwould say hi, okay, but
I'm not stopping and going, ohmy god, it's so good to see
you. How are you? No, not at all okay? Like if
I walk by Shannon, who Iwas with keme On, I was went
for seven years. If I walkedfinding her, I moved her ass twice.
If I want, god, Ihope she's not listening. If I
walk if I walk byer, Iwould I would just walk by her and
(14:15):
go, oh, hey, goodto see you AnyWho, and then I
just keeping I have nothing to say. I haven't I haven't seen you in
twenty seven years. But I'm justgonna go, oh, hey, yeah,
I told you she was at awedding that Milkman was at and recognized
her and forget to they. Yes, he talked to her because he's a
(14:37):
grown up, and she said,hey, how's Elliot doing? And Sam
was great, He's awesome, he'sfantastic, he's hot, like all those
things, all those Still how longthen? Did you not talk to Sam
before you forgave him? But willyou? Probably because it sounds like you're
obsessed with your ex husband. Youwould probably be upset with your self because
(15:01):
you didn't do enough, didn't putthe math together. No, but enough
like spying on social media because Ifeel like the person you're describing would know
who his ex or her ex wasmarried to. Now, oh see,
but I wouldn't. I wouldn't likestalk around on social media. I don't
even have Facebook. So you youhate the person? Yes, but you
(15:24):
don't cheer on No, I don'tcheer on their kids, So you're not
you're not following up with them.It's just it's scorched earth and forget about
them. Yeah, and well notreally, I mean you are still talking
about it. I'll remember you,oh like Madonna, but you but you're
(15:45):
not trying to keep tabs on theperson. Uh oh, I'm not google
the no no, no, nono no. I thought you meant like
dry by their house. My god, no, well that's a far line.
I watched Baby Reindeer the Did youjust take the original story? If
(16:07):
you're this new friend, right,you're the bomby friend, I'm mommy friend.
You're the ex wife, but you'rebut you're my god, who am
I? You're the ex wife?Okay? Would you be frustrated that you
didn't figure it out? Yeah?Okay, yeah, oh one hundred because
I could have. Because you knowwhy, I could have, Like now
(16:29):
I had no one, never wouldhave started the friendship. Bingo, bigo
bengo. I could have shut thisdown day when it been like, hey
listen, here's what I can tellyou. That family that lives around the
corner. I don't know if you'verun into him big Dick and that wife
whoror like I would have never,well, you got it, you gotta
cut sharp. So yeah, II could have shut it down. Do
(16:51):
you search any new person, whetherit's Jackie or you, that brings someone
into your social circle do you guysGoogle? No? Okay, no,
Like I may look up where theywork, but that's about it, really,
Yeah, because I don't like askingpeople where they work. Oh my
god, who cares the That's anormal question when you're first starting, but
(17:12):
I like to do that. Idon't like to I don't like to ask
people do work. That's fine,and they may say, like for example,
for example, there was one guyin our old neighborhood. I knew
he was a lobbyist, which Ireally don't know what he does. But
he was like, oh, I'ma lobbyist and does whatever. And I
was like, oh, cool,that's nice. And then but I don't
whatever. I don't know. Idon't know. I don't know who or
(17:33):
what he was a lobbyist for.But then I got home and looked at
up. Yeah, but I didn'tbecause I didn't want to effort. I
didn't want to ask. Yeah,if you're filling in blanks, yeah yeah,
okay. Yeah. Like if somebodysaid I'm a doctor, I would
ask like what kind of doctor,and he would go like, I'm a
I'm a guany and I'd be like, oh sweet, the I bet you
tell it joke. I'd be no, but I wouldn't ask, like,
(17:56):
hey, what practice and who whoyour patient? So like i'd go look
that up. You're not asking whothey're patient? I am. Yeah,
Well anybody famous, anybody in theneighborhood. Oh my god, An,
maybe it's that woman around the corner. You know, I used to be
married to her husband. Yeah,I know everything. Hi Elliot in the
(18:18):
morning. Hi, Yeah, Hi, who's that? Hi? This is
Christiana. I wanted to ask,how did how did mommy one I guess
the divorce one xife not see pictures? Okay, x fife? How did
the ex wife not see pictures ofher ex husband if she went over to
(18:41):
the other mommy's house? No,No, for social media, new mommy
mommy friend always was at They wouldeither see each other at the park where
they would go for coffee. Butthe only the only in house was new
mommy or new wife coming to uhcoming to ex wife's house, So she
was never in in mommy friend's house. Oh okay, yeah, I mean
(19:04):
even social media, they would haveto be friends on social media, how
would they not see pictures? I'mnot on social media. That's a fair
point you're talking about. No,no, no, I agree, Thank
you. I agree that. Listen, the odds of that that's how you
stumble on it are a little bitlow, but still that's how you stumbled
on it. By the way,you could have been friends. I don't
(19:27):
know how quick as an adult youask, you know, like, hey,
what's your Insta? And now you'rechecking each other out? Is it
pretty fast? Iron I too?Am not on social media in terms of
no, I don't think I yeah, I'm not. My kids who like
they know each other's instagrams before theyeven speak to them. Yeah, no,
(19:47):
no, no, I think that'syeah, like you meet people in
doing like your kids stuff, andthen maybe eventually you yeah, exactly because
they're from the neighborhood. Yeah right, exactly exactly, So you don't know
that right away now and even atthat point you're already friendly with them.
And then uh, and then youfind out banging your ex husband after you
did by the way, Okay,that's the other thing, Like, I
(20:08):
hope the sex got better? Ishe doing this anymore? Hi Elle?
I can't say that. Why not? Well, now you may as well
just cut the thing off. Ifyou're going to start wanting with your friend
and her husband. Hey, stillquick draw. Huh oh, I thought
those dynamite sticks were only for soonthrowing him around here at the park?
(20:33):
Hi, Yes, who is this? Yes Ashley? What can I do
for you? So this actually happened, So I just breeze and keep that.
High School Jersey and my parents gota divorce when I was like eleven
years old, and my mom woundup having a child and my dad got
(20:56):
remarried and had another child. Andmy sisters are the same age, they're
six months apart. And so whenwe moved down here to Virginia, my
mom and I and my sister,my sister wound up going back to New
Jersey to stay with her dad fora little bit. And when she went
to school, she made a friendin school, and so she started going
(21:19):
to this friend's house and my sister'sdad was telling my mom about this friend.
Well, when my sister said thather friend's name was Desiree, my
mom was like, wait a minute, what is Desire's last name? And
so my sister told her what herlast name was, and my mom was
(21:41):
like, Shyana, what is yoursister's last name? And so she set
mod off name and she was like, they have the same last name,
Shyanna, and she's like, Ithought it was just a coincidence. Yeah,
but I know that my dad knewthat my little sister was my little
sister because of you know name.It's not that it's so, it's just
(22:08):
he knew. There was no wayhe didn't know, and that my little
sister was going over to my dad'shouse. Did your mom put the kid?
Did your mom kind absolutely not?Yeah, no, exactly. You
know why because like your mom,absolutely, it's stop with the home,
get over it, get over it. Wow, that's something. But by
(22:33):
the way, everybody is everybody,thank you, ma'am. Everybody's so quick
to judge nobody. Nobody's doing that. You don't want you don't want to
get tangled up in that. There'sso many people in the world. Here's
my favorite comment in that it willset you off the most. Really,
this is a win win win.Your kids have new friends, you have
(22:55):
a new friend, and you canresolve your negativity towards your ex just by
being happy in your second marriage andloving his new family. I can't win
win win. So now it's supposedto be like, oh, we've all
grown up, and yeah, we'veall moved on the years, so you're
gonna, you're gonna. So nowyou're having you're having dinner with your your
(23:15):
your your your new husband you don'tand your mommy friend and your ex husband,
who, by the way, youhate it. I didn't say we
have to go out to dinner,but no, this is saying it's a
win win win. I'm I'm movednow. I'm all good with no.
But you can see that, Okay, we've all moved on and progressed,
and we don't have to be bestieswith the husbands, but they're to be
(23:37):
besties with the husband. This isa chance to get over any negative feelings.
The comment continues on with it canresolve what you carried with you when
you left the marriage. Wouldn't itbe nice if you didn't have to hate
anybody? No, absolutely, that'swhat that's you know what that is fuel.
That's what gets me up in themorning.
Man and a woman get married,right, they're in their early twenties.
Unfortunately, does not work out right, so they get divorced like two years
later, and it doesn't matter.I mean, it matters, but like
they don't have anything, you knowwhat I mean. So there's no kids,
they're not tied up in things.So in terms of it being a
divorce, easy, peasy, limitssqueezy. Yeah, it gets done.
(00:22):
Obviously, the two of them don'treally like each other that much. I
do know just from reading. Thewoman really has a low opinion of the
ex husband, a low opinion likehe was really immature, like whatever,
you know, she's blaming. Soanyway, she does not like him.
Let's just suffice it to say.Okay, now let's fast forward fifteen years.
(00:47):
Okay, the woman, Okay,forget about the guy. The woman.
She's now remarried. She has twokids of her own, she's happily
married. She lives in a Idon't know where she relocated to, in
the in the in the in thearea, but she she moved into a
you know, a nice neighborhood andthere's other kids in the neighborhood, and
(01:08):
as is normal there, they meetpeople in the in the neighborhood, right,
So anyway they they're in, they'relike the neighborhood has like a little
park or something in it. Soanyway, mom takes her two kids.
This divorce mom who's now fifteen yearslater married and has kids, she takes
the She takes the kids and theygo to like the little neighborhood park.
Fine, that's normal. While she'sthere, there's a bunch of other kids
(01:32):
that are there, she ends upmeeting this woman who also has kids around
the same age, and they kindof become mommy friends. Right, So
they're they're friendly with each other.Their kids get along, which is nice.
And so she's got like this friendin the neighborhood that she's kind of
become close with. They'll go tocoffee together. The other woman will come
(01:53):
over to her house and they'll havecoffee and everything's fine, and everything's good,
right, no problems you're following,Yeah, good. The they decide,
both of them decide, hey,you know what, let's sign the
kids up for swim team. Okay, So the woman divorce woman now has
(02:14):
she signs her two kids up.Her mommy friend signs their two kids up,
and now everybody's going to be onswim team, and then everything that's
involved in that swim team coach orcoaches send out an email welcoming everybody,
and it's one of those emails that'sgot fifty five thousand people in the two
lists or field right right, Soshe starts reading through it and a name
(02:40):
really sticks out to her. Now, keep in mind, the mommy friend
says that she's also married and everything. Her husband travels a lot for work
and whatever. No problem. Soanyway, the list comes out and she's
reading through the list to see who'son it, and she sees mommy friend
(03:00):
right right there, very common lastname on mommy friend, but attacked right
next to mommy friend is what ismommy friend's husband's name? Okay, it's
her ex husband. Oh like,so I'm a little confused. Yes,
(03:21):
so this is this This woman's newfriend from the park turns out to be
her ex husband's new stay. Yes, and they have kids and she has
been She had no idea, butthey've got an established friendship. It's just
now is when she figures it out. Yeah, she had no idea that
the mommy friend husband is her exhusband who she hated. Okay, well,
(03:46):
well, I thought, as theysaid it was, it was two
years, but it wasn't awful.No, but she she found him really
immature, like she just she didn'tlike him. Clearly they got divorced,
but the terms weren't like criminal fromher. No, no, no,
no, no, no no,she just hated him. How did that
not come up until? Yeah,the sign up sheet for a swim team.
(04:10):
How would they come up? Idon't know the other woman talking about
conversation, Yeah, the other womantalking about her husband, like she said,
oh no, everybody. You know, everybody that you met when Marley
was a kid, you know theirhusband's name probably not thank you. I
don't mean just the name itself,though, but he says the last name
was common. The first name isnot as much like what the kids looked
like. Why why if you sawthis other woman's kids, you would look
(04:35):
at him and go like, wow, it kind of looks like my ex
husband. No, how weird wouldthat be? How would you know?
But Okay, so fifteen years later, she hasn't. It's not like she's
had any contact with the ex.Right, No, okay, So I
mean if you're gonna like, areyou gonna tell mommy this Mommy, you
(04:58):
have to so you're gonna go.Hey, by the way, you know
what I haven't known for the lastsix months that we've really hit it off.
And guess what I just figured out? And then the the kind of
guy that you're married to. Iused to be married to him and I
hate him. The current well,I wouldn't say that. Well, what
are you gonna say, you like, fifteen years later, you still hate
him? Or do you? Areyou asking me? You know, I'm
(05:19):
just saying, like everybody I everdated I hate Okay? Would she?
But would at this point? Wouldshe be indifferent? Like we've moved on?
I wouldn't be okay, would bezero chance. No, But I
mean, at least give the Imet a guy like hanging out in the
park and it turns out that heis now married to the Shannon girl that
(05:39):
I was with for seven years.I would I'd move, Okay, I
wouldn't. I'd force them to move. But maybe, I mean definitly,
trench Yard. Maybe current wife ismature. Is this why you guys broke
up? Yeah? No, Iactually we got along. You have to
be like, guess what I justfigured out? Okay, but that looks
suspect. Yeahs like you just figurethat out with each other. God,
(06:03):
I didn't realize it until I sawthe name on the distribution list for the
swim team. Why say anything?Oh well, I guess if you're gonna
see that swim you know, youknow what looks even more suspect when you
don't say anything, no, no, no, no, then you have
to be all performative. What no, I was gonna say. What if
you go the other way where yousee him a swim team and you're like,
oh my god, dick okay,and then the woman goes, what
(06:27):
do you mean to go? Liketeen years later, like move on,
you both you've both got would hateit. I would tell Jackie you can't
be friends with the new families andby the way, kids sit down because
you there's I don't care. Idon't care, no no, no,
no, I don't care. Youfigure out how to beat them in the
pool. I'd have those kids traininglike I am not losing God to my
(06:49):
ex's kids. Oh my god.I would be petty swim team, it's
not okay. Tell tell Katie Lideckiit's up and swim teams putting yourself in
the wait. Yes, if you'rethe ex husband, do you tell your
(07:10):
new wife, like, please pleasestop hanging out with my ex? Oh?
Oh oh yeah, I understand you'rethinking about I'm thinking of the sporting
of aspects of it, right,But what about like I would say I
don't want those kids at my house. Well, no, these are your
(07:33):
kids. If you're the ex husband, they're your kids. No, I'm
talking about her kids. Oh okay, but are you Are you requesting that
they break off the friendship or youwill at least open to allowing the two
of them to still be at leastplayground friends. You can be playground friends,
(07:56):
but I will never interact with thatfamily, right, because ultimately it's
not I have one of those situationsdecision alone. Yeah, but Jackie has
a friend whose husband I don't getalong with. And I'm not telling Jackie
she can't be friends with them,but I have said I will never I'll
see I'll see the woman. Thesame thing. It's not no, but
I'm saying you can. You canmanage that relationship. Uh yeah, So
(08:20):
like I'll tell Jackie I'll see thewoman, but I'll never, I'll like,
don't ever ask the four of usto go to dinner. Don't never
ask like, hey, can wego over there? Their kids are having
a birthday when they were younger.No, never see him again in my
life. So you want to befriends with them, fine, but you'll
be a single mom friend with themunless the wife comes over. Then I'll
be there, which she never has. But I won't be around the husband.
(08:46):
Your sin. Yeah, so that'swhat you would do. You could
say, hey, listen, youwant to be mommy friends and go to
the park, that's fine, butI never I never want that. And
by the way, when we goto swim team, you could choose.
It's your choice. You choose,and I'm not saying that in the pa
way. You could sit with youcould sit with them and and cheer on
the kids, or you could sitwith me. But I will not sit
(09:09):
with them, am I patty yahy. So obviously you weren't in a relationship
with this husband. No, whydo you have some sort of heated rivalry
You just don't like the person.We don't get along because of there was
yeah, well several yeah, therewere. There were several fallings fallings out.
(09:31):
Oh so you guys were close,We were friendly, So it's nothing
like being married to him. Zerozero, No, not at all.
I'm just saying you can manage thattype of relationship. Yeah. Now,
if you're the friend, the mommyfriend, if you're the if you're the
mommy friend, so the person who'snot in that house, right, the
(09:54):
ex husband or the new wife.If if you're the if you're the ex
wife, are you comfortable keeping thatrelationship going? That's on you. I
mean, I don't know because I'venever been in that I've never been in
that model. I have no idea. Well, it's not like they're vacation
together and their besties. They're prettyfriendly, Diane. Okay, because they're
(10:16):
hanging out, they're having coffee.Okay, true, but their house Okay.
Like, I know you accidentally befriendedyour ex husband's wife, but could
you be friends with your ex husband'snew wife? See what I did there,
Christen? Doesn't I be friends withmy ex husband's new wife. You
have to pull a space between beand friends so they know it's not the
(10:37):
word be friend again? Rights,So can I be friend friends my ex
husband's new wife? No, eventhough you didn't know, it was an
organic start to the relationship, whichone am I who am I? Who
am I? Am I the exhusband? No? We already discussed that
role. Who am I mommy box? No, mommy friend? You are
(11:00):
the ex wife okay from fifteen yearsago? Who's not who? Right now,
we're not really talking about her newlife. We're just talking about her
being a separate unit who accidentally befriendedtogether befriended her ex husband's new spouse,
right right, So what is thequestion for me? Could you continue to
(11:20):
be friends with her that new spouse? I mean, I question their judgment.
Oh my god, it's fifteen yearsMove on, you're you're not the
same You're not the same person youwere fifteen years ago. There's other fish
go out, that's yeah, there'sa million people you're gonna be friends with.
(11:43):
That. That's what You've already gotthis established friendship going before you were
able to figure this wrinkle out.Well, we're never having family life.
It's fine. Yeah, that's fine. You don't want to get that familiar
that's I don't. I don't.So you can the two of us still
have coffee? That's what it is. Yeah you can? Yeah, No,
(12:03):
you're the one? Yeah? Areyou? Would you still go get
coffee with this new wife. Yeahyou will. Wait, am I you
are the ex wife? Okay?Am I still going to get friends with
the mommy friend? Yeah that wasthe question. And probably not as I
mean not now now you're going tocut things off definitely, not as frequently
(12:24):
like maybe often, but you wouldn'tyou wouldn't try to sabotage their relationship.
Now he's just sabotazing, sabotaging swimthe No. No, I don't have
to because I know, I knowit's gonna end because the guy with the
guy was a total ass h.Okay, you're you're not adding a lot
to the story that you did sayat first, young and dumb, in
(12:46):
full of ash, you move on? Okay? I have you haven't?
Okay, so you're still talking.You've been married for twenty years and you
still talking about how, first ofall, it's only fifteen years later.
How have I been married for twentyNo? No, I was married for
(13:07):
twenty years. Have you being marriedto ass h? I'm talking about real
life scenario right now. You've beenmarried for twenty years and you still talk
about how you hate old ex girlfriendslike, move the f on? Are
you talking about current Elliott? Yes? Oh yeah, I know I hate
everything. I hate them, butI do. That was the only thing
so far in this discussion that's beenobvious. Some of it's been very convoluted
(13:30):
and hard to understand. We allknew she was talking about current Elliott the
yeah no, no, no,I'm not moving on. No, I
don't like any of them. No. Do I sit at home and like
stick needles and dolls. No?No. But like if somebody was like,
oh, but if you ran in, like you and Jackie are walking
into like, uh, Walmart,and you you happen to run into somebody,
(13:54):
would you not say hello? Iwould say hi, okay, but
I'm not stopping and going, ohmy god, it's so good to see
you. How are you? No, not at all okay? Like if
I walk by Shannon, who Iwas with keme On, I was went
for seven years. If I walkedfinding her, I moved her ass twice.
If I want, god, Ihope she's not listening. If I
walk if I walk byer, Iwould I would just walk by her and
(14:15):
go, oh, hey, goodto see you AnyWho, and then I
just keeping I have nothing to say. I haven't I haven't seen you in
twenty seven years. But I'm justgonna go, oh, hey, yeah,
I told you she was at awedding that Milkman was at and recognized
her and forget to they. Yes, he talked to her because he's a
(14:37):
grown up, and she said,hey, how's Elliot doing? And Sam
was great, He's awesome, he'sfantastic, he's hot, like all those
things, all those Still how longthen? Did you not talk to Sam
before you forgave him? But willyou? Probably because it sounds like you're
obsessed with your ex husband. Youwould probably be upset with your self because
(15:01):
you didn't do enough, didn't putthe math together. No, but enough
like spying on social media because Ifeel like the person you're describing would know
who his ex or her ex wasmarried to. Now, oh see,
but I wouldn't. I wouldn't likestalk around on social media. I don't
even have Facebook. So you youhate the person? Yes, but you
(15:24):
don't cheer on No, I don'tcheer on their kids, So you're not
you're not following up with them.It's just it's scorched earth and forget about
them. Yeah, and well notreally, I mean you are still talking
about it. I'll remember you,oh like Madonna, but you but you're
(15:45):
not trying to keep tabs on theperson. Uh oh, I'm not google
the no no, no, nono no. I thought you meant like
dry by their house. My god, no, well that's a far line.
I watched Baby Reindeer the Did youjust take the original story? If
(16:07):
you're this new friend, right,you're the bomby friend, I'm mommy friend.
You're the ex wife, but you'rebut you're my god, who am
I? You're the ex wife?Okay? Would you be frustrated that you
didn't figure it out? Yeah?Okay, yeah, oh one hundred because
I could have. Because you knowwhy, I could have, Like now
(16:29):
I had no one, never wouldhave started the friendship. Bingo, bigo
bengo. I could have shut thisdown day when it been like, hey
listen, here's what I can tellyou. That family that lives around the
corner. I don't know if you'verun into him big Dick and that wife
whoror like I would have never,well, you got it, you gotta
cut sharp. So yeah, II could have shut it down. Do
(16:51):
you search any new person, whetherit's Jackie or you, that brings someone
into your social circle do you guysGoogle? No? Okay, no,
Like I may look up where theywork, but that's about it, really,
Yeah, because I don't like askingpeople where they work. Oh my
god, who cares the That's anormal question when you're first starting, but
(17:12):
I like to do that. Idon't like to I don't like to ask
people do work. That's fine,and they may say, like for example,
for example, there was one guyin our old neighborhood. I knew
he was a lobbyist, which Ireally don't know what he does. But
he was like, oh, I'ma lobbyist and does whatever. And I
was like, oh, cool,that's nice. And then but I don't
whatever. I don't know. Idon't know. I don't know who or
(17:33):
what he was a lobbyist for.But then I got home and looked at
up. Yeah, but I didn'tbecause I didn't want to effort. I
didn't want to ask. Yeah,if you're filling in blanks, yeah yeah,
okay. Yeah. Like if somebodysaid I'm a doctor, I would
ask like what kind of doctor,and he would go like, I'm a
I'm a guany and I'd be like, oh sweet, the I bet you
tell it joke. I'd be no, but I wouldn't ask, like,
(17:56):
hey, what practice and who whoyour patient? So like i'd go look
that up. You're not asking whothey're patient? I am. Yeah,
Well anybody famous, anybody in theneighborhood. Oh my god, An,
maybe it's that woman around the corner. You know, I used to be
married to her husband. Yeah,I know everything. Hi Elliot in the
(18:18):
morning. Hi, Yeah, Hi, who's that? Hi? This is
Christiana. I wanted to ask,how did how did mommy one I guess
the divorce one xife not see pictures? Okay, x fife? How did
the ex wife not see pictures ofher ex husband if she went over to
(18:41):
the other mommy's house? No,No, for social media, new mommy
mommy friend always was at They wouldeither see each other at the park where
they would go for coffee. Butthe only the only in house was new
mommy or new wife coming to uhcoming to ex wife's house, So she
was never in in mommy friend's house. Oh okay, yeah, I mean
(19:04):
even social media, they would haveto be friends on social media, how
would they not see pictures? I'mnot on social media. That's a fair
point you're talking about. No,no, no, I agree, Thank
you. I agree that. Listen, the odds of that that's how you
stumble on it are a little bitlow, but still that's how you stumbled
on it. By the way,you could have been friends. I don't
(19:27):
know how quick as an adult youask, you know, like, hey,
what's your Insta? And now you'rechecking each other out? Is it
pretty fast? Iron I too?Am not on social media in terms of
no, I don't think I yeah, I'm not. My kids who like
they know each other's instagrams before theyeven speak to them. Yeah, no,
(19:47):
no, no, I think that'syeah, like you meet people in
doing like your kids stuff, andthen maybe eventually you yeah, exactly because
they're from the neighborhood. Yeah right, exactly exactly, So you don't know
that right away now and even atthat point you're already friendly with them.
And then uh, and then youfind out banging your ex husband after you
did by the way, Okay,that's the other thing, Like, I
(20:08):
hope the sex got better? Ishe doing this anymore? Hi Elle?
I can't say that. Why not? Well, now you may as well
just cut the thing off. Ifyou're going to start wanting with your friend
and her husband. Hey, stillquick draw. Huh oh, I thought
those dynamite sticks were only for soonthrowing him around here at the park?
(20:33):
Hi, Yes, who is this? Yes Ashley? What can I do
for you? So this actually happened, So I just breeze and keep that.
High School Jersey and my parents gota divorce when I was like eleven
years old, and my mom woundup having a child and my dad got
(20:56):
remarried and had another child. Andmy sisters are the same age, they're
six months apart. And so whenwe moved down here to Virginia, my
mom and I and my sister,my sister wound up going back to New
Jersey to stay with her dad fora little bit. And when she went
to school, she made a friendin school, and so she started going
(21:19):
to this friend's house and my sister'sdad was telling my mom about this friend.
Well, when my sister said thather friend's name was Desiree, my
mom was like, wait a minute, what is Desire's last name? And
so my sister told her what herlast name was, and my mom was
(21:41):
like, Shyana, what is yoursister's last name? And so she set
mod off name and she was like, they have the same last name,
Shyanna, and she's like, Ithought it was just a coincidence. Yeah,
but I know that my dad knewthat my little sister was my little
sister because of you know name.It's not that it's so, it's just
(22:08):
he knew. There was no wayhe didn't know, and that my little
sister was going over to my dad'shouse. Did your mom put the kid?
Did your mom kind absolutely not?Yeah, no, exactly. You
know why because like your mom,absolutely, it's stop with the home,
get over it, get over it. Wow, that's something. But by
(22:33):
the way, everybody is everybody,thank you, ma'am. Everybody's so quick
to judge nobody. Nobody's doing that. You don't want you don't want to
get tangled up in that. There'sso many people in the world. Here's
my favorite comment in that it willset you off the most. Really,
this is a win win win.Your kids have new friends, you have
(22:55):
a new friend, and you canresolve your negativity towards your ex just by
being happy in your second marriage andloving his new family. I can't win
win win. So now it's supposedto be like, oh, we've all
grown up, and yeah, we'veall moved on the years, so you're
gonna, you're gonna. So nowyou're having you're having dinner with your your
(23:15):
your your your new husband you don'tand your mommy friend and your ex husband,
who, by the way, youhate it. I didn't say we
have to go out to dinner,but no, this is saying it's a
win win win. I'm I'm movednow. I'm all good with no.
But you can see that, Okay, we've all moved on and progressed,
and we don't have to be bestieswith the husbands, but they're to be
(23:37):
besties with the husband. This isa chance to get over any negative feelings.
The comment continues on with it canresolve what you carried with you when
you left the marriage. Wouldn't itbe nice if you didn't have to hate
anybody? No, absolutely, that'swhat that's you know what that is fuel.
That's what gets me up in themorning.
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