The Woody Show May 3rd 2024 Podcast

Fail Stories, Star Ways Day: Fake Casting, DUIQ & More! 

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Speak its. Due to the graphicnature of this program, listener discretion is
advised that The Woody Show is TheWoody Show. Insensitivity Training Class is now

(00:39):
in session. E Good morning,everybody, Good morning, I'm good morning.
There we go, Hi Jing jumpingahead a little bit forgot to turn
the mics on. You're just thatexcited. Oh yeah, I'm trying to
think of why though. I mean, it's just another day, right,

(01:00):
yeah, I guess May third,huh twenty twenty four, the one.
Oh you guys, Yeah, Ifigured it out. I'm excited because today
is Friday. Nice. Oh yeah, welcome to Friday, everybody. Hell

(01:23):
yeah, it's been one hell ofa week. Huh you Red? The
gangs all here, Woody raby lfglfg raye. There's Greg Gory, menaces
here, what is that? BoodyMas, Sammy money Boy, Caroline Morgan's
here, Bond's here, and ourVIP guest you it's Friday. Let's get
it going all right? Well nowit's official, it's officially Friday. Rich.

(01:49):
Yeah, we are The Woody Show. Phones are up at eight seven
seven forty four. Woodie. Youwant to call and be part of anything
this morning? If you want totext in great with whatever your thoughts are.
Also Friday check ins those on overmake sure you include your name and
also what part of town you're in. You listening to the Wood Show this
morning, you got some kind ofexciting weekend plans? What's going on this
weekend? Let us know? Uh, text on over plus anything or any

(02:10):
one you'd like to have us mentionedthe info you got for your Friday check
in, please include it over withyour text to two nine eight seven.
Uh. You know the plan onthe marching orders on Friday are always the
same. Let's get the hell throughthis yes of the week. But going
into this weekend, there's a coupleof things happening. You know. Tomorrow's
May the fourth, so May thefourth be with you at Star Wars Dad.

(02:34):
And on Friday it's Cinco de Mayo. Now next week on Monday,
not to rush to the weekend,obviously, we got an exciting weekend.
Have right Monday, Monday, we'regoing to have our I think it's our
second annual Cinco de Mayo. ManSo SeaBASS has some like you know Mayonnai's
themes, stuff, franking, stearning, a bunch of food. Yeah,
he said, Friday. Sinco too, It's Sunday. I'm sorry Sunday.

(02:57):
Yeah, yeah, tomorrow's May thefourth, Sunday. Good. Today is
Friday. Yeah, what I wasgonna say is Friday today on the show
for Star Wars Day. This isa fake casting call. Sea Best will
be in here with the audio.But he set up a fake casting call
for a new Star Wars movie.And so he wrote up his phony screenplay
and he put him add out onlinelooking, hey, open casting call for

(03:22):
a new Star Wars you know,film wow an actors dreamy and so you
know these actors and actresses sought,I mean, Sea Bass. He goes
all out. So he set upnot even here at the radio station,
that would be a dead giveaway,but at the building here down on the
first floor of our building, there'slike a conference room that anybody who,
you know, there's any of thebusinesses here in this building can use,

(03:45):
you know, for meetings and stuff. And here's the thing on the first
floor of our building. There's alsoit's mostly for like soaps and stuff like
that. There's a there is likea casting a down there. There is
a casting agency with tons of Emmyson display. Yeah, that's right.
There in their lobbies all legit Yeah, so like I could see, we're
like, oh, I'm familiar withthat building or all right, right,
and then you see that place,you're like, oh, so lends some

(04:06):
legitimacy to it, unintentional. Sothey come in and then Sea Bass is
having them read for these parts forhis fake Star Wars movie. So it's
a Star Wars casting call, andso we're gonna have that for you this
morning in honor of a Star Warsday. Excellent, It's a classic d
YQ. Also, Rave's got nerdout for the hours uplates in the world

(04:29):
of nerds. And also, uh, of course your birthdays and your porno
birthday. Yeah, phones are openfail stars. I say that already.
Yeah, I guess it does allright. I don't know eight seven seven
forty four what he text two tonine eight seven couple? What do you
show fun facts? I had noidea I was today years old. I
guess it makes sense. Condoms havean expiration date. Yeah, oh yeah,

(04:50):
you can't keep those things forever.Oh who knew? I've never looked.
I mean it makes sense. Inever really thought about it, because
you know who who keeps him aroundthat long anyway I'm saying, I imagine
they would just dry out or runningexactly, fall apart, Yeah, disintegrate.
But yeah, And one of thethings that is I never thought about

(05:13):
there is a shelf life for theshelf life for a condom, I wonder
never really an issue because you know, condoms are punks, right right,
Yeah, exactly, everybody knows that. Yeah, that's one of the things
that they would say to kids becauseif a kid was fourteen years old walking
around with the condom and its wantto be cool and then all of a
sudden has sex for the first timewhen he's seventeen, you can't use that,
crind, I mean you can.It's better than nothing, right,

(05:33):
yeah, basically nothing, get anew one. Yeah. This one kid,
he had the condom in there solong. There was like this like
condom shaped ring and printed on theybecause it was like a little leather and
then the pressure of like sitting onit and for years and years without use.

(05:54):
Yeah, it says the uh,with proper storage three to five years,
they will last. Yeah all right, yeah, because this is a
latex rubbers four to five lambskin doesn'tlast as long. Lambskin. Where do
you even get those. Well,people, I guess who are you know
there are chicks or dudes. Iguess who alert who are allergic? That
those are the ones. Those arethe chicks who get pregnant. Really,

(06:14):
I've never looked and never used condomsshelf and saw like a lambskin. Yeah,
like really, yeah, I thinkI have. Yeah, they said
they saw them out there. Yeah, there are people with that latex and
farm are you at? Yeah,that's where I saw it. At the
farm, your eggs, your buttery, and right, I've got some fresh
produce and some lambskin condoms at thefarm. Now here's the other question.

(06:41):
Uh, are the places that youbuy condoms, pharmacies, targets? What
are you are they looking to see? Like how long those boxes of condoms
have been there because you never reallysee Yeah, you rotate the stock everything.
I don't know they're checking the expirationday. But I mean, like
those places they're running through the condomstoo, are they, because you never
really see anybody hanging out by thecondoms on of those like grabbing dash.

(07:02):
A lot of places they're locking themup now, so I assume that they're
staying there longer. Yeah, theyprobably have to Oh my god, that's
what we need to do. Let'ssend Greg to one of the places where
the condoms are locked up and makethem hit that little button on that box.
Yeah. It was like help neededin the condom section. The Gregs
are like, yeah, yeah,condom condoms. Yeah, because you know

(07:29):
I'm out here just slamming. Haveyou checked the expiration date to The most
embarrassing trip to the store I everhad was in my uh promiscuous days.
I was having this one night standand we went to the store to get
oatmeal and condoms because we need aoatmeal for the next morning, right open,

(07:51):
condoms for that night though you knowwhat I'm saying. These are for
two separate things. Yes, condomsand then we need to reach arch with
the oatme. I think it wasa Saint Patrick's day. Yeah, And
it was the middle of the nightbecause I was on my way to work.
I was on my way to theradio station. I stopped at the
Walmart because it was twenty four hoursand I bought like Okay, So we

(08:13):
used to do this bit called willit flush love that, and we would
try to flush different things down thetoilet and based on whatever was going on,
this was Saint Patrick's Day would bea theme, and so, uh,
I forget why. It was likegranny pants, like big fat girl
granny panties. There was a pairof those. Maybe I had camera or
something. No, probably probably becauseit was like, you know, you're
getting lucky and whatever, and solike, you know, what do you

(08:35):
do with your dirty underwear? Oh? Okay, flush it right, So
we're gonna flush a pair of bigpair of underwear. I bought some some
uh what was it called, likebangers and mash. We had like little
potatoes, okay, and you youwere I was gonna say there, yeah,
we did this shopping trip together.Yeah, and it was uh and
then and then I got some likelittle sausages, you know. Yeah,

(08:56):
so like no, no, likethere was like you know, like a
brats bangers and mash. They werelike checking out at three in the morning,
Yeah, buying big fat girl grannypanties, sausage and some potato and
food coloring because we were gonna colorthe water green St. Patrick's Day,

(09:16):
to keep it festive, to keepit festive. And the woman at the
at the register was just looking atme. He had no idea what to
make it. I go it's gonnasound really weird. This is gonna probably
make it sound worse now that I'msaying it. I'm I'm on my way
to work. I need this stufffor work. Panties are for my secretary.
Yeah, she was very We flushedso much stuff, golf balls,

(09:41):
action figures, action figures. Ohman, I think we did go.
I mean yeah, because there wasthis plumbing company that brought us a toilet
that they set up. I gotits own display self recycling toilet. It
was so good. So it wasn'tbecause we we almost ruined the building's toilet
was like this old, old building, old building. And then we kept

(10:03):
doing it. Yeah, but wekept doing it, and then and then
later and then years later, therewas a local plumbing company said, oh,
there's this new I think it wasa total toilet, this new total
toilet that can pretty much flush anything. And we're like cool, They're like
put it to the test. Theybought it. They put it on this
like box thing, so it waslike a like a like a table almost,

(10:24):
but underneath was a receptacle for thewater and a pump that would pump
it back up to the tank.So the water just kept getting you know,
recycled. So it wasn't going intoany kind of like system after that
at that point. But it waslike you can see the display. It
was a display toilet that would actuallywork. It would flush nice. Oh
but yeah, at that point,we tried shot glasses, We tried all

(10:46):
the stuff that you're never supposed todo to which. Speaking of which,
onto the condom thing. Uh,they have this thing on here about what
to do with expired condoms. Youcould pitch them in the trash, but
never flush them down the toilet.The plumber will be uh, I'll be
happy to get paid on Clagga,but you won't be happy trying to explain
it. Oh come on, Yeah, I sent and uh my buddy hatpacked

(11:09):
one time to go buy some condoms. And he looked like he was the
unibomber. He had a hoodie onand some sunglasses. And it goes there
and that's the day I found outbecause he went and bottom that they have
unlubricated condom Why, why, what'sthat? What is that? Well?
You know what, I tried tofind the unlubricated ones when we were doing

(11:30):
that for condom Day. Remember,we had the pumps, the bike pumps
I was trying to find unlubricated ones. I don't know, but I couldn't
find them. They coming the Trojansthere live even looked up online. I'm
like, I'm trying to get thebox in my mind so I can like
find it. Dumb with the redbox, they're unlubricated, and I could
not find I went with the twodifferent targets, could not find them.
The first time I saw those,I was house sitting for this couple and

(11:54):
taking care of their dog and foundunlubricated condoms sitting in their bathroom on her
like, and I thought the samething, Well, you know how you
lubricate them, right, why wouldyou buy these? Yeah? So dumb.
Yeah, spiting the palm of yourhands on there, you know exactly,
that's all you need for good togo. It's even hotter when the
chick does that. Oh yeah,so hot. She kind of spits on

(12:16):
her hand and then so hot.Okay, we're getting yeah, please explain
it a third time? No really, she goes like this race okay,
about a fourth time. Yeah,okay, it's really hot. Well,
she's like, you know, ontop, getting ready to go. She
spits in the palm of her handrave right and then she you know,
are you picturing it? Yeah,I'm picturing She's done it, thinking about

(12:37):
it right, thinking about it aswe spend picture and horning. Well,
cool, I got to one funfact. Awesome. Yeah, all right.
See, we're moving right along.The time is just passing so quickly.
We have to take a quick breakagain. If you want to call
and be part of the show,the phones are open eight seven seven forty
four, Woody. That's eight sevenseven forty four Woody. Text us over
to two to nine eight seven.We will be right the Witty Show.

(13:00):
We'll be back in a sex Hey, it's menace. Check out the Lazy
Dog Restaurants made to order lunch specialsthree dollars off road for bowls and other
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(13:22):
taking the Woody Show, and we'reinto another new hour in sensitivity training for
a politically correct world. That's ourgame. We are the Woody Shown.
I'm mody. That's Raving. Goodmorning after Friday, Raven Jay Friday,
I left g to Friday. There'sa Greg Gory, good morning, Menace,
good morning to you, Good morningWoody, Hello, se Man No

(13:45):
t GIF guys, TJM. Yeah, Rowbot, Oh yeah, there's Sammy
morning. Got the phones open eightseven seven forty four, Woodie, you
can't hit us up with the textover to two two nine eight seven,
May to fourth be with you,Sea Bess. And because tomorrow is Star
Wars Day, and so Sea Bassdid a fake casting call. Now this

(14:11):
is when what was it the ForceAwakens or yeah, it was between the
Force Awakens in the last Jedi.Yeah, we just we haven't heard it
forever. It is always Greg's numberone most requested. Oh yeah, we
love it. Yeah. Sea Besscame up with a with a screenplay.
He came up with a part ofa script for a new Star Wars film.
He put an ad out and gotsome actors and actresses to respond to

(14:35):
the ad. Brought them down notto the radio station, but like a
conference room down the first floor ofour building so it looks more official,
and ran them through an audition wherethey were reading the wonderful words. It's
a great script, great story,great continuation of the Star Wars saga.
Amazing story, amazing, it's amazing. It's amazing. Anyway, so we'll
have some of the fake casting call. And you did give them cab fair,

(14:58):
by the way, and people like, oh, these poor people,
what year is it? Cab fair? Cab fair? You threw them a
shilling, right, here's a bucketmoney around cash why some cheese sandwiches.
I do believe we listened to thesegment. I do believe you even said
the term cab fair. Oh oh, because it was I mean, when
was this, like, yeah,the nineteenth yeah, nineteen seventies. Yeah,

(15:20):
wear back. So that's coming upfor you this hour here on the
Woody Show, phones are open eightseven seven forty four. What he text
us over to two to nine eightseven. But we start this particular hour
as we do every Friday morning,with your Friday fail stories. All right,

(16:18):
ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, any's time for your Friday fail
story. All these people thought theyhad the perfect plan, the plan that
could never go wrong. But it'ssomewhere along the line it went from being
a great idea to one big stinkin mega uber. It is not too

(16:52):
bad. Oh, it wasn't thatbad. That's right, I was right.
Don't the way that you guys seemto Whitney Houston over here, adele?
What do you expect over there?Profession We're barely slippednot with it?
Oh? Ow dare you? They'reselling out arenas? Nobody said they're not

(17:12):
selling out anything. But all right, now, did you guys know that
Greg has a dental implant? Didyou now? So expensive? Well,
this guy he went to a dentist, he had a toothache, ended up
needing to have several teeth pulled.Now, yeah, which they would replace
with dental implants, you know,like Greg's right now, if you don't

(17:33):
know what those are, how theywork. They screwed directly into your jaw.
Anyway, as they were installing atooth in the upper left side of
his mouth, he said he feltlike the dentist was pushing really hard.
But the dentist like, dude,relax, everything's totally normal. But the
dentist pushed so hard that the screwbroke through his jaw and pierced his brain

(17:59):
and ended up lodged in his skullbehind his left eye. How does that
even happen? That's extra, that'sso, that's pretty bad as us so
screaming in pain. He was rushedto the hospital, went right into surgery.
Things were shaky there for a minute. They weren't sure how things were
going to turn out. But hedid pull through. He's on his way
to a full recovery. He didtouch base after he got to the hospital
with the dentist and they wouldn't evengive him a refund. Wow, so

(18:22):
oh they will. Yeah, sohe is suing. Yeah, oh man,
sail dude, that suckst Can Isee her dental implant? Yeah?
Which one is it? Now?In the back? Wow? Silver?
Yeah, the side of silver.So this woman in the UK, she
decided to try a diy tanning regimenusing a combination of self tanning products and

(18:47):
she ended up with this really crazygreen color of skin instead of the sun
kissed tan goodness that she was lookingfor. And yeah, she mixed these
things together and she ended up lookinglike a Gian avocado. There is something
about British women with the self tannerand the spray tanner. It's it's it's
so gross. It's particular to Britishwomen really so not spray tanning even but

(19:14):
it's just like these yeah whatever it'ssailed looked even with like cover up.
Also is like when you see theline on a jaw do you not see
that? How bad he got an? Yeah? This guy in so cal
he got pulled over this week tryingto get away with using the h O
V lane even though he was inthe car alone or was he he was.

(19:40):
A California Highway Patrol officer pulled himover and sitting in the passenger seat
was a dummy that looked a lotlike Snoop Doggy. Yeah, he was
in a hoodie and sunglasses. Itlooks like he used like a Snoop Dogg
Halloween mask. It's one of thoseboxing dummies you see the bobs. Oh
yeah, took sharpie to the faceto a cool cool facial hair. Yeah.

(20:03):
Yeah. Anyway, the cops theywrote him a ticket for the car
pool lane violation, but not beforetaking a picture of Snoop Dogg and posting
it on social media. Sometime salesand here's my favorite story of the week.
This is from Albuquerque, New Mexico, where the Woody Show is proud
to be heard weekday mornings on oneoh four point one the Edge, and

(20:23):
there's a video for this one.This guy's driving when a car pulls up
next to him, and he thoughtthat was a sign that the other dude
wanted the race. Yes, there'sonly one problem. The other driver was
a cop, so as soon asthe guy sped off started racing, the
officer just turned his lights on andpulled him over. The guy tried to
make excuses apologize, saying that heonly took off like that because the cop

(20:47):
car was in my blind spot soI couldn't tell if it was a cop
or didn't matter. Tickets for speedingand attempting to race on a highway.
I'll tell you what those guys are, the dumbest. I think they're the
coolest. Oh, I mean they'recool, but they're not smart. Because
your car makes you cool. Superdumb, super dumb. We're gonna take

(21:10):
a break and then we come back. We'll have the Star Wars Day,
fake casting call of Sea Bass's brilliantscript and people auditioning for a role in
this next this next film, justin time to the Woody Show is back.

(21:33):
All right, Welcome back, everybody. So you know Star Wars day,
big deal movies have made a jilliondollars. I mean, everybody loves
Star Wars, port loves Star Warswarship. Who wouldn't want another Star Wars
movie? Person, right, whichis why we have a script in hand

(21:55):
for the next Star Wars Star Warsepisode eight. JJ abrams a lot of
work here with these plot lines.Yeah, so spent some of the time
in the r V alone crafting ascript for Star Wars. Working hard.
Yeah, so run us through somemore of the story here. You wrote

(22:21):
the You wrote the script, wrotethe script, put the ad for the
cast and call, got hundreds ofresponses and just and they kind of whittled
it down to the people that couldactually come to our studios here in Burbank
and read during the time I wasfree again, dozens of those responses and
just took like the first four people. And this first guy, he's reading
for an old character that's gonna havea new feature. This is BB eight.
He's a little little ball, thelittle robot that people the new droid,

(22:45):
huge droid. Yeah, the newdroid for the Force Away Games.
One one episode of a BB isgonna learn how to talk. So right,
you still got some still gotta workout some robot bugs. He's got
to learn English. All right,here we go. So this is for
the role of BB eight's new voice. Right, yeah, I'm playing three
po the actor is playing BB eight. All right. This is a working

(23:07):
title Star Wars episode eight of forceFeeding, and we're actually looking to a
force feeding that title. Guys,did these people ever get hipped? I
mean, has there been one ofthese people? You said? Like all
these people like hit you up?Any of them called you out? Actors

(23:30):
are so thirsty for these roles.One's no one has ever put down their
script a bit. Really, dude, Honestly, you're messing with me.
Not even a hint of that wow, because maybe they think in their head
like, okay, maybe this isthe phony script, but they want to
see how like rye or die Iam. Yeah, And if I have
like an attitude about this isn't legitimate, like I'm gonna look like a dick
and then I won't get the job. I got a question the genius of

(23:52):
the Abrams. Yeah, I couldbe the next Luke Skywaterer or in this
case, voice of BBA. That'sright, all right, So hold on,
it's called a force Feeding all right, episode eight of Force Feeding,
and we're actually looking to put avoice to one of our characters we already
have, and that's BB eight's.He's the little round ball, a little
droid that rolls around. You're reallydiscovering your new power to be able to

(24:15):
speak to humans. Basically, thisis what you got there, So I'll
go ahead and start it off,BB eight. All of us other droids
are really proud of you now thatyou finally learned how to speak English.
B boop yes, C three po. I feel like I am starting to
get the bleep, Blue, Blue, and excellent BB eight, because there
is a secret mission Master Luke hasgiven you. Wow, I am so

(24:38):
fleeked your dirt hundred BB eight.You're going to infiltrate a Stormtrooper unit and
steal the secret plan for their nextgreat weapon, the Mega Death Star Liz.
But I am on their most wanteddroid list. They'll spot me immediately.
That's why we're disguising you, BBeight. You see, the Space
World Cup is starting next week andwe're going to make you look like a

(25:00):
robo soccer ball two in the bank. What a brilliant idea. C three
p o nipped slipped. If thestormtroopers start kicking you around, then remember
your training and bend it like BBeight. That was a good one.
C three p o cleef that's great. Typed out all the robot noises on

(25:25):
the slip forehead, ripped it slip. I got in the Idiot Actors dot
Com. We'll talk about and we'llpost videos of all these auditions. By

(25:52):
the way, up at the WoodyShow dot com. Have a link on
our twitter page Twitter dot com slashthe Woody Show. All right, here's
next. This is actually a youngergirl's a young actress, probably the early
twenties. And I had an ideathat Princess Leah is going to have a
daughter that she discovers in Star Warsepisode eight, and that daughter, of
course, is going to come toher mother when she has personal health issues,
like her time of the month.So this is that scene. So

(26:15):
talking to Princess Leia about her period. I'm playing Princess Leah. This actor
from LA is playing the new character, Princess Leah's daughter. All right,
all right, here we go StarWars eight, the phony audition and Leah's
daughter. So this is Star Warsepisode eight that time of the force.
This is Princess Leah's daughter coming toher mother, Princess Leah for some personal

(26:37):
advice at time of four. Thatmakes sense, right, Yeah, yeah,
very much. I don't think thatgets it the money mass. I

(27:03):
know, I'm getting that. It'sjust funny, especially we can see masses
such as sociopath and you say,it's so dead tad time of the flowers.
I gotta give Greg a minute.Hold on. Everybody gets right,

(27:30):
it's probably not even that funny,but I'm I'm oh, geez. I

(27:51):
thought a force feeding was kind offunny, but at the time of the
force, we're falling apart. Here. I'm good a ready, here we

(28:17):
go. Mommy Leaya, I havea question for you. It's about my
lady parts. I've had a visitor, but it wasn't for Master Yoda's ghost.
Oh, my daughter. I guessit's time for us to have the
talk. The talk, Laya.You see my daughter once a month you're
visited by the dark Side. Itmakes you bloated, irritable, and a
general pain to be around. Grumpy, irritable, bloated, sounds like I'm

(28:41):
going to turn into a wookie.Well, it will kind of smell like
a Wookie. Can I use theforce to keep this awful cramping from happening
every month? Actually? Yes,when you turn eighteen, we'll talk about
going to the Space Doctor to getyou on force control. Force control.

(29:02):
I don't, I can't. Allright now, just put your feet up
in these things. Let me takea look. That's the light speculum at
the Space Doctors. Yeah. Actuallyhe probably just uses the force to part

(29:23):
her and most likely take a lookSi. Yeah, force control? For
what am I going to do untilthen? Well, when you feel your
lady dark side coming, you shouldturn in your lightsaber and don't even think
about getting behind the wheel of theMillennium Falcon. Is that why Papa han

(29:44):
Solo always takes the keys away fromyou every month? No, that's just
because I'm a bad driver. That'sgood, I think that's what. Yeah,
that's exactly what we're looking for.Here's my number, me me am
r V. That's continue this auditionwith Space Doctor Space the dialogue Star Wars.

(30:14):
Wow, so moving, are youguys ready for the next one?
Yes? Here we go. Nextup, Seed Bass? What do we
got? So? This is anotherparent parent child interaction? This is Darth
Vader who in Star Wars seven.You you saw that melted mask, right
right, but you never knew thathe was really, really, really truly
dead. Well when Star Wars eight, Darth Vader's coming back. Oh okay,

(30:37):
and he's going to reconcile with hisson, Luke Skywalker, and he's
got a new business I plan,a new business opportunity. So the actor
is auditioning for who the actor isDarth Vader. I'm playing Luke Skywalker.
All right, here we go StarWars eight Phony Audition. The title of
the project is Star Wars Episode eight, A Force to reckon with. You're
playing Darth Vader. He's come back. I'm Luke Skywalker and we have reunited

(31:02):
and Darth has some new sort ofways that he's trying to bond with his
son Luke. Okay, before Istart, do you want me to do
like the like breathing sound or themask to please deal? Since you volunteered,
Yeah, yeah, absolutely, pleasedeal. We're in Star Wars episode

(31:22):
eight. Okay, Luke, Ihave changed my mind. I no longer
want to be a part of thedark Side. I'm so glad to hear
that, Father Darth, what areyou going to do instead? I'm going
to open up a force massage parlor. I have to use the hidden power

(31:47):
of universe to relieve people's stresses andmusclely not. What a great turnaround,
Daddy Vader. I have been feelinga bit stiff lately in my neck and
my shoulders. Allow me to usemy special force fingers to work on them.
Chop Son, how did this guynot call you out? Come on?

(32:09):
How is it not believable? DarthVader, Dandy Darth Master Force.
Yes, uh huh can really breakapart those you know those what they call
them places? You know those knotsthe in your back. Yeah, dude's
got a cool voice though, hedoes. He's good. Yeah, he's
real good. I mean he coulddo a voice for something. It's always

(32:29):
mommy lead Father Vader. How theydo it the movie? Can you feel
me inside you? Oh? Yeah, that feels great. I'm melting like
butter. Yes. I want tobe a much more present father for you

(32:49):
in general. Luke, very sorryfor cutting off your hand at one time.
You know, I was upset aboutthat one for a while. Papa
Vader. This tremendously relaxing massage ismaking me feel like I have two hands
again. So glad to hear that. Son, Let me grab some force
oil. This mill is just likethe zintthorn flower from my planet Aldan.

(33:16):
I am floating the oil over toyour body and slathering it with my force
fingers. Now you're all lubed upand ready to kick the Empires. But
yeah, that's all they're going todo for that nice So good. I

(33:37):
mean you didn't have to talk toanybody else. I mean, that guy
clearly gets the job. He's justwasting. I guess it's technically it's the
New Order, it's not the Empireanymore, right, correct, the first
Order, first Order? Yeah,he did. We'll do it quickly.
Right. He gave up pretty quicklyon the breathing, though he didn't.
Little missappointed in that well, itwas busy giving me massage. Translodide you.

(34:00):
You're all lubed up, ready toflub luke. All right, we
got one more for our phony StarWars episode eight auditions. Who do we
have here? This guy in hisin his resume, his acting resume said
he's really good with voices, SoI said, he needs to do the
best Star Wars voice of all jarJar Binks Jr. Is coming back and

(34:22):
I'm I'm again playing Luke Skywalker inthis one, and jar Jar is trying
to join the Jedi Order. Allright, Skyk, we go back to
the auditions, but again we're gonnapost the videos the Woodieshow dot com,
Twitter dot com, Slash the WoodyShow. We'll have links there for you.
All right, here we go.This guy's auditioning for jar Jar Binks.

(34:44):
What they're doing is they're bringing backjar Jar Binks. Of course it's
totally CG. Are you familiar withthe character a Star Wars episode eight?
Force it and jar Jar Binks iscoming back and he's talking to Luke Skywalker
trying to get into the Jedi Order. You're ready, good morning, JETI
look, it's a jar Jappinks.Times. I wants to be a Jedi,

(35:05):
and not just like you see aMason with the guy means. I
always helped ladies across the street andI'm like the dark side. One time,
does Vader try to open a checkaccount in my name? Steals a
means identity I use as fourth toput a credit freezer on my account?
That is impressive, jar Jar DarthVader is very good at stealing identities and

(35:29):
racking up charges across the galaxy.M tells me about it. He took
out the four defense supprime mortgages underPeter's leader's name. She's a got the
five credit score now because of that. How would how good are you with
a lightsaber? Though jar Jar hasbuilt my own lightsaber? Look, I
have it right to hear room outa roar. I wouldn't. Man,

(36:00):
It's saber fantastic, perfect, Well, it was fantastic and perfect solid.
This is having the new charge hardpace. I can't wait for this movie.
Unbelievable. That's good stuff. Manthought, Yeah, yeah, are

(36:22):
there you go? Star Wars episodethe auditions. You heard him here first,
guys. Fantastic. So many spoilersthough alert spoiler alert, you're right
beforehand. I know this is thewoody show man, the Star Wars fake
casting call Man. That was thatwas a fun reminder. Man brought back

(36:44):
some great mental that was so good. Yeah, I forgot just how funny
that was so good. Grips werejust incredible. Time in the Force.
I was telling you, guys,I think I probably still have all the
release forms those people gave me soyeah, yeah, I can call them
back, give them a call,give them some more hope, so said
I just tuned in. I heardfeel my Force inside of you. I

(37:05):
love the one he should now weneed an unplanned pregnancy, one called the
unforced scene circumstance. So good.Tears of laughter on this one. I
love it. You guys for thefirst time made me laugh out loud,
uncontrollable, uncontrollably we got one,yeah, but not uncontrollable. We're talking

(37:30):
right. Also, Uh, thisis so funny. Greg cracking up has
made my day. Thanksians, guysfrom the four one two ll just go
over to Greg's and watch something likeBad Moms. Oh put your diaper on
Date Night? Hell yeah, atthe time of the Force double diaper.

(37:52):
The Force is hilarious. Sounds likehe's not doing a fake Star Wars.
Sounds like he's casting for a StarWars porn. Well, that's definitely that's
one of those things that obviously we'redoing the comical version, but that kind
of shows you that when people wantfame. Oh yeah, the couch thing
was and still is real, theywill do anything. Yeah something, what
do you what do you need meto do? Oh? The producers need
to see me naked and uh suckinga d Huh all right, Uh,

(38:15):
sure, whatever you need. Oh, the camera's gonna roll on this one,
too cool. This is a legitaudition, right well, look at
Harvey Weinstein that played out. Iknow got a one friend who loves those
casting couch videos. That and babysitterporn bang busang bang bang bush. It's

(38:37):
the legendary eight seven seven forty fourwhat he hit us up with? The
text over to two to nine eightyseven Friday check Ins. Tell us who
you are and what part of townyou're in. What you got going on
this weekend? Anything fun or anythinganyone you like to have us mentioned when
we get to your Friday check ins, sending all the info on the text
over to two to nine eight sevenThe Woody Show. Uh, some data

(39:00):
has been crunched. And these aresome of the hardest every day English words
to spell menace. You're gonna giveit a chance. Oh all right.
First one is appreciate, Okay,I appreciate Uh A P P I C
A T E. Great job,you got it, beautiful, beautiful,

(39:28):
uh b E A t U IF A L Wow. Two for two
Jesus Man restaurant, restaurant. Oh, that's always the easy one, right
R E S T A e UN e n T restaurant. Great.

(39:52):
Yeah, you're on the right track, really good at this. You're on
that three for three so far.Another one of the hard artist every day
English words spell receipt, receipts RE s I P E T. Got
it, dude, you are killingit is so good. It's really good.

(40:14):
I mean I save the easiest onefor last. Pneumonia pneumonia. Uh
and oh m you n A yeah? Why so good? Great job.
I'll be here all this morning.I think I would have to ferret that

(40:39):
out myself. Pneumonia, great,give it a P N E U M
O N I A great. You'reso say it again? No, no,
no, say the word pneumonia,pneumonia, pnemonia. And you started
with the it's a silent p.It's kind of like silent fart. Why,

(41:02):
I know why exactly. It's veryjust to be weird. Pneumonia.
Yeah, uh, restaurant, Sammy, Oh can I write it down?
R E S T A R Thatdoesn't look great? No, that's wrong.
What is it? She forgot?What was it? R? E

(41:28):
S t A r U A NT got it? Wow to move?
Yeah, mix it up. RE S T A U r A N
Yeah. I can get an RS restaurant E T E. Yeah.
You know I've been here. Wellagain, the data has shown that those
are five of the hardest everyday Englishwords to spell. So just because you

(41:52):
got them wrong, I mean alot of people, yea, a lot
of people. Get everybody alight,there, we got rave. So now
it's official. What's happening in theworld of nerds? Fall Guy. That's
the big movie. It's tracking tomake around thirty five million this weekend and
has an eighty five percent on RottenTomatoes. It stars Ryan Gosling, Emily

(42:14):
Blunt, and Aaron Taylor Johnson.Now over on Netflix, the first movie
ever directed by Jerry Seinfeld on Frosteda story about pop tarts Jerry Axe in
the movie, and the cast isenormous Melissa McCarthy, Jim Gavigan, Amy
Schumer, Hugh Grant and Levy,Christian Slater, James Martsten and Moore.
The reviews not that great twenty fivepercent from the critics on Rotten Tomatoes,

(42:37):
one calling it disappointing. In Bland, just like an unfrosted pop tart.
How dare they though a Hollywood ReporterVariety Deadline, they don't think it's kind
of okay, It's on Netflix.Check it out, watch it? Do
you watch Selling the O? C. Greg Of course three is on Netflix
today. Yes, sir, thereyou're welcome. Also starting today, you

(42:57):
know, Netflix always has been doingthis big Netflix is a joke comedy Festival.
So starting today, John mulaney presentsEverybody's in La So it is waiting
for this a Netflix comedy special.It's a live event that happens with new
episodes daily through May tenth, soseveral episodes of that. There's also gonna
be live comedy specials this weekend,Tomorrow night, Kat Williams and then Sammy

(43:21):
Sunday. Yes, the Roast ofTom Brady. No, that's live.
Go to that to like record itand see what they didn't air. But
if it's live, and said BillBelichick was gonna be no go. So,
dude, Bill Belichick has been sittingin with Pat McAfee. Yeah,
and he's actually had a personality.Really have you actually been pretty funny?

(43:45):
Right? I was totally surprised.I'm like, wait, because when you
first heard like, oh, BillBelichick's gonna come in, He's gonna break
down some analysis the draft stuff inthe draft. Yeah, and I'm like,
well, I'm watching something else thrilling, right, because you've watched the
press conferences for years. It's justit was great. He was actually really
good good. I wonder if therewas any like restrictions on, like,

(44:06):
hey, there could only be likeone or two jokes about me, like
kissing my kids. Oh, it'sgonna be like the whole thing is gonna
be about that. That's good questions. I doubt you're allowed to really do
that. Yeah. Amy Schumer famouslymade fun of Ryan Dunn's death at Steve
Oh right, she was funny.I mean it is a roast. Well,

(44:27):
we'll see see how aggressive they go. So Greg has a boner for
selling the OC, but he hada mega boner yesterday. As Hack season
three first two episodes got up onh how were they? You know what?
I saved episode two for later,save episode one. It was it

(44:49):
was kind of just a catch upepisode, I guess set up right.
Yeah, it was good to seeAva and Deborah reunite in an awkward you
know oh sure, an awkward elevatorthing. Yeah, it was like I
think it was a year later,okay, yeah, but it was good.
It was a reintroduction. I feellike your boner's like a little chubb
now semi yesterday it was ranging tomorrowof course, May the fourth be with

(45:14):
you. So Disney Plus has StarWars Tales of the Empire, which is
an animated companion piece to Tails ofthe Jedi. Welcome to Wrexam Season three
debut last night on FX two episodesand those episodes are on Hulu today.
Excuse me, I have some Wrexhamwhile you're coughing, Raby might have some
Wrexham shway to get you at theSea Beast cocktail party. Can't wait one

(45:36):
of the many many perks of goingto Sea Best cocktail party. Oh yes,
yes, which, by the way, we all have time to cancel
any other plans that we give itlike three months notice, right down over
three months? No, we did. It was what I would say.
It's been a solid yeah, toosolid plus yeah, whatever it is.

(45:58):
The plans I had for the weekendwere made another month ahead of that,
also cancelable. They moved the party. We read the email and it said
it was only an hour long,so cancel whole weekend of plans for an
hour. The cocktail party is theprelimb to the free tickets to a live
Bill Burr show, which again,you guys have slopped him for years so

(46:21):
much slot, I'll give you afree chance to go see it. I'd
be like, no, I gottago to the fifteenth music festival of this
year. Slaughters anyway. Upset aboutit. Anne Hathaway gets her frea gone
with a twenty four year old boyband singer in The Idea of You,
which is on Prime Video and hasan eighty eight percent from critics on Rotten
Yeahs. They go to it.Oh dang sweet. Well, since tomorrow,

(46:43):
like we mentioned, is Star WarsDay, there's a big collab between
Star Wars and Fortnite that's gonna spanacross several sectors of the Fortnite world,
including Lego Fortnite, Battle Royale,Fortnite Festival, and Rocket Racing. That
new collab landed yesterday, and EmmaStone is teaming up again with Nathan Fielder.
The two of them started in theCurse on Showtime, and their next

(47:05):
project is going to be about chess, and I know you guys remember where
you were in twenty twenty two whenyou heard about chess champion nineteen year old
Hans Niemann who was accused of cheating. In one of the ways was the
vibrating anal beads. Well, thisis what that movie's about. Okay,
the beads. Apparently there's a bookcoming out about it. It's called Checkmate.

(47:25):
Always Sunny already did an episode.Well this, this whole movie is
going to be based on this book. All right, you got an episode
of Top People Checkmate and the month'slong standoff between Universal Music Group and TikTok
is over. Our National Nightmare hashad a new multi dimensional licensing agreements International
Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga, Drakecan all be on on TikTok Now rat

(47:47):
thank on. Uh that's it.I'm raby. For more nerd stuff,
check out the nerd Now podcast atthe Wordy show dot com. All right,
nerds, it very much, Ramy'sgot. It's time for birthdays and
the porn birthday. Shiver Day,Its shiver day. We don't sit.
It's shiver Day and you know youdon't. Happy birthday to Christina Hendricks who

(48:12):
is forty nine years old, DageMatt who's Madman Joan Holloway. Yep,
it's her character, been a bunchof other stuff too. But yeah,
she's a redhead. Yes, she'sgotten on no Zepics. She's really skinny
uckyos. Greg Gumball, who doesa lot of broadcast for the NFL and
the NCAA basketball games for CBS.He is seventy eight. Uh, you've
got Amy Ryan. She was Hollyon the Office. She is fifty six.

(48:37):
Cheryl Burke is forty today. EricChurch is forty seven years old.
Country singer Uh Damon Dame Dash fiftythree today. He founded co founder Rockefeller
Records with Jay Z. Had amajor falling out, so he sold his
steak in the label for ten million, sold a steak in Rockaware for twenty

(48:59):
two minsllion and according to the menacesbroke oh now yeah, I mean according
thirty plus million dollars and now he'slike got a net worth of one hundred
grand or something. Internet to theInternet. I don't know any of his
financials, but they say that hemade some bad investments, so that where
there's one hundred thousand dollars allegedly theKing of yacht rock, Christopher Cross seventy

(49:20):
three and Frankie Valley ten years hedied in the sixties, the leader of
the four season Jersey Boys is aboutthem. Frankie Valley is ninety years old
today. And your porn of birthdayis Sasha Jugs. And she's been packed
with more nuts than a Snickers bar. She's a big girl. She's had

(49:42):
a lot of Snickers bars. ShShe's only been forty five fine films with
some good ones, including Back ThoseBuns Up. She was also in Chubby
Chocolate Loving Volume three. It alsoJumping on Jugs she was fantastic and scale
Busting Babes volume fifty seven. She'sa normal. I guess we were the
first time you ever saw perfect Plumper. Yeah, perfect Plumper. She was

(50:04):
in volumes one in five. Ohyeah, also Supersized Rides. She was
in Fat Roles too, and whocan forget her unforgettable role in Fat Jugs
and Anal Love, Oh wow,Anal Love. That is Sasha Jugs.
She's thirty four years old today.That's your port of birthday, your celebrity
birthdays, and that is a Fridaymorning. Look what is happening in the

(50:27):
world of nerds with your nerd Outreport. We're gonna take a break,
and then right after the break itwill be d u i Q Tom He's
an embecile, He's our embecile nowshow. And it's a Friday, which
means we already know it's predetermined whatthe dumb ass contest is going to be.
Today's dumbass contest is the d iQ d u i Q eighty seven

(50:53):
seven four. What is the phonenumber? Looking for a contestant? Sea
Mass? How's the game work?I find someone out on the streets or
in this case passed that on asidewalk, who is nice and drunk and
ask them just the easiest arn triviaquestions you ever heard, But you play
by guessing will the drunk person beso out of it that he won't know
the answer? And if you canguess whether he knows the answer two times

(51:14):
out of three, you win.As always, Yeah, we got Menace
and Sammy who are gonna try toguess as they are stone cold sober.
Yes, Hi, that's just forentertainment purposes, doesn't count toward winning a
prize or not. Let's say helloto Heidi here. Hey, good morning,
Heidi. Hi. Oh my god, Hi, Oh my god.
Hi like Hi, all right,Heidi. So you're gonna play the d

(51:40):
U i Q today. You're gonnabe our contestant. And before we get
to the questions that count sea bass, who do we have here, We're
gonna to know them a little bitbetter, how they know whether they are
just goes by Junior? And likeI said, he's kind of passed out
of one of the pharmacies you seeon the strip. Ye. And as
everybody's ever with this, you know, his wife, his friends, he's
got a coorts system. Yeah,they were talking more about that now.

(52:04):
I saw you were laying on thesteps of the drug store over there.
Yeah, why were you doing that? The wake up? Maybe too many
drinks? Yeah, your friends arepointing out, do you have a scar
on your forehead? Where'd that comefrom? I fail? I was drunk.
Are you drunk right now? Yeah? Yeah, I'm sorry, America,
I'm drunk. You and your wifeyou have kids together? Or no?

(52:27):
Yes? My son says, ofit's funny, but he's he's a
CEO CEO. Yeah, what correctionofficer? Okay, but my son said,
Dad, if you get locked up. It's bad. You think that
might happen to night? Yeah?Yeah, sorry, America old enough,

(52:52):
no better America. Do you thinkabout it? He's just too far gone,
Like could he turn his life forwell, he's got a wife and
kids. It's just happens. He'shaving a great time. It's one of
those nights he has an injury onhis head. He really fell. There's
something you know, you've never hurtyourself while you were drunk, you fell
or hits up, especially menlo I'llgive every adult with adult children, I'll

(53:15):
give you one of those nights everyother year, every other ye other year.
That is not a lot. I'msing if you like, if you're
point the point where you're lying downon steps, yeah, hurting yourself.
Look, guys in Vegas, he'shaving a great time. But at a
certain point in your life that thosethose injuries don't end. Well, it's

(53:36):
prettysory. It's pretty losory, Heidi. So that is Junior. We're gonna
try to guess whether he knows theanswers to these questions, and if you
can do that two out of threetimes, you're gonna be the winner today.
Are you ready for question number one? Sure? But I couldn't hear
any of that. But I'm gonnago on, all right, yeah he

(53:59):
is he pretty well to fix theYeah, I'm gonna get that he's out
of it. Are you ready for? Are you ready for? Question number
one? All right, here wego, d u y Q. Name
any major league soccer team. Nameany major league soccer team. Will he
get it right? Yes? Orno? Let's see, okay, men

(54:22):
is sam Yes, I'm gonna say, oh, sorry, you're not.
I'm not sure about Junior though,I'm I'm gonna say yes, I'm trip
yes, whoa uh no to Sammy? Yes to Menace. No for Junior?
WHOA? I was gonna say thesame exactly. Wow, you know

(54:43):
why because we're aw right? Wellyeah, rulers totally all right, So
Menace and Sammy? Do you thinkthe junior is going to get it?
No? Yes? All right,Heidi? Yes or no? For Junior.
I'm gonna go with no. No, won't get We'll start with the
Menace and Sammy. Question number onemany major league soccer team? Now I

(55:06):
don't know either, because you guysare gonna have to uh, I don't
know anything about soccer. Likewise,there are twenty nine or thirty of them.
I would assume there was a billion. You could name any soccer team
anywhere. No, no, no, no. I didn't say Premier League.
I didn't say a CONCAF. Isaid Soccer MLS. I'm taking my
junior. Yes, back then,all right, uh with me? Sure

(55:31):
LA FC? Then let's see that'syeah okay, yea, yeah, the
Galaxy correct? From what LA orthe New England Revolution also correct? Well
there we go. Are the earthquakescorrect? Wow? Okay, so you
guys are really killing it. Youknow you can only get one point at
the time, right, They're notgoing to carry out, They're not going

(55:51):
to stack in somebody. Well,I got thirty points. I'd like to
give him just learning this now.Nashville we got one, but we don't
call it FC because we're not freakingcommon Europeans. It's the Nashville Soccer Club.
Yeah, all right, So Heidisaid no that the junior would not
get it. Let's see if shegets on the board with her first point.

(56:12):
Here on the d U i Qmany Major League soccer team Las Vegas
Knights. I have never ever,ever, ever, never watched, never
watched You're on the board. Heidipoint the kind of a hockey team.
Congratulations. Question number two for thed u i Q, the cobbler is

(56:35):
someone who fixes what I thought youhad me at dessert. Its a repeater.
Yes, maybe I feel like notthat I well call. Maybe he's
a good she has the best memory. What you can make out? Yeah,

(56:57):
but we don't pretend like there's notsomething going on between. I know.
And if somebody said, why don'tyou guys make out? I say,
all right, yeah again, saywe'll do more than thank you,
yes, way more than these ds ls. Sammy knows what a cobbler
is. Yes, yeah, thismenace. No, Junior does not.
No, I'll say no for menace. Man has made a joke though,

(57:19):
No, Junior, no menace.Uh yes, Sammy, she looks kind
of confident, and listen, whatdo you think? Greg? Okay?
No to Junior, that's that one'seasy. Why am I acting like a
million dollars? This is right?Okay? Menace? Yes to Sammy,

(57:44):
alright, are you sure your finally? Hi? Do you what do you
think? Yes or no? Questionnumber two definitely not definitely all right.
Question number two d u i Q. And cobbler is someone who fixes what
menace? Horseshoeing, like they replacehorseshoes on horses. Sammy shoes shoes.

(58:12):
I mean it was something showing that'sa blacksmith. Yeah, what you're thinking
of? So they shoe horses,but I mean you had shoe in there.
Yeah, yeah, that's not apoint though. No, all right,
question number two. Let's see ifwe have a winner here on the
duy Q. Cobbler is someone whofixes what shoes? Adam Sandler you made
a movie about may be working?Wow? What movie man? Yeah?

(58:39):
No, cobbler store and it's anAdam Sandler movie. Yeah, where he's
a cobbler. I've seen it aswell, a couple of couple of Faerrier
specifically as a blacksmith that deals withshoes. Yeah, that's all right,
Heidie. We got one more here, and it was the Cobbler. That's
a movie twenty fifteen. Coddler.Well he was, you know, he
just pumps these things out. WillyNillions is probably on Netflix. Is somebody

(59:00):
ever thought about it? Worth?Sammy and Junior are the only two people
that even watch I gotta watch that. Yeah, here we go. This
is the make or break for youhere Heidi, you got to get this
one right in order to win tothe uy Q. It's question number three.
The plate Romeo and Juliet takes placein what country? Sweeping? For
No, that's why my God justscreamed at me. Yeah, I think

(59:22):
there was a fire. No,the cobbler looks like a parody. Yeah,
you feel the no sweep, OhGod, junior for sure? No
menace for sure. No, Sammy, I'm still looking at her feet over
there. The sweep, all right, triple no mega confident but all right,

(59:44):
medicine sea mass, all right,medicine, Sammy. Do you think
that you think the junior is gonnaget this? No? No, no,
no, all right, well we'reall sweeping. No here, Heidi,
what do you think I'm hoping for? No? All right, Okay,
usually a safe bed the d ui Q. But we'll find out.
He surprised me that last one.I didn't think he's gonna get that
one either. Yeah. Shout outto Adam Sandler and the cobbler. All

(01:00:13):
right. Question number three for thed u i Q, the play Romeo
and Juliet takes place in what country? Minutes I put France, France,
Italy, Italy Italy is correct.I kept thinking of the last names to
try. I was like, that'sItalian. I know they talk all weird

(01:00:35):
and stuff the mono hues and theytalk all weird. Well, it's Shakespeare.
They there's nothing I can't stand morethan Shakespeare much Greg, Why but
everything you watch is based off ofShakespeare or something? Or the Simpsons did
it one of the two. It'seither Shakespeare or the Simpsons, or Seinfeld

(01:00:59):
or Segfeld, that's true, oryou know some other thing. Question number
three d U i Q play Romeoand Juliet takes place in what country?
France? That's like the moral ofthe story there. True love never dies
unless both people less like both Iman, that's how you do coming in

(01:01:21):
well, Heidy, congrats you arethe winner of the U i Q.
You did it nice, nice.I was hoping you would win. You
were so sweet when you called it. Yes, yes, love you do
stuffing. Hang on one second,we'll get all of your information. Have
yourself a fantastic weekend. And that'show you That's how you do the d

(01:01:43):
U y Q. Would you believeDustin Hoffman also in the Cobbler, No,
what I wouldn't Believe and method Man, Method Man also Believe. What
a cast Wow, and no Oscarhun Steep bushy. But he's in all
those Salmon movies. Yeah, Ray, you stay hating on the sad Man.
Let's see what critics think of theI care about what they think.
Yeah, you just stay hated.Yeah with the audience, stay hated.

(01:02:06):
Oh god, oh those are bad. Thirty six percent from the audience,
which is terrible. Ten from critics. Is there any I'm saying the movie
that you like? A frustrated shoemakerfinds a magical sewing machine that allows him
to see the world in a newway, pepping into the lives of c

(01:02:29):
But did you hear what Sandy says? I'm gonna watch it was worth watching?
Are they? I want to geta quick break shows next? Hang
on, Well, it is aFriday morning. That's the that's the good
news, you guys. Yeah,it took a while to get here.

(01:02:49):
What's that took a while to gethere? Yeah? For real though,
Like I mean for real, it'sbeen a really busy week. The week
did not go by, Ray,did it did not go by? Like
Tuesday? Tuesday hit and everything wasgoing so well. I'm like, oh,
it seems to be a pretty chillweek. And then all of a
sudden, I get a call andsays, hey, can you be in
Dallas on Thursday. I'm like sure. And then last minute before I left

(01:03:15):
for Dallas, I'm like, Menace, you want to go to Dallas?
I was gonna say mega impressed mefor lack of a better word, because
you're like, yeah, I'm down, and then booked a flight and then
literally sitting here, do you wantto go to Dallas? Within thirty minutes,
you were off to the airport.Yeah. I've never witnessed any well
spontaneous. Yeah, because I wasthinking about these meetings that I was going
into, and I'm like, youknow, the person who can really speak

(01:03:37):
the best to these things I'm goingto be asked about certain elements, it
would be Menace believe it or not? Believe or not? Yeah, And
Menace Dazzled did a great job,really nice people that we spoke with.
So it was like Wednesday, youknow, after the show, leave for
the airport and Menas like split outof here because he booked the flight.

(01:03:59):
I couldn't believe and the flight wasgoing to be like in an hour and
twenty minutes from when he booked it, Right, he didn't have any clothes.
Yeah, he ran down the streetto the target here in Burbank.
Yeah, and he bought this reallygirly looking bag. That's the only one
that had. He bought like everythinghe needed a Target on the way to
the Burbank Airport. Yeah, becausehe came to work just to go to
work shoes, not playing the goanywhere, right, Yeah, he didn't

(01:04:21):
want to wear the shoes that hehad on that day because yeah, wild
he said, it's only like ahardcore sneaker heads would know what these shoes
are. They're like some kind ofJapanese there's a mention of japan Japanese like
shoes that have like little hearts allover him. He's like, I don't
know if that's the impression I wantto make. Yeah, they're called human
made, but yeah, they haveall these hearts on him. I'm like,

(01:04:43):
yeah, it's gonna be a littleoff where we have to go mid
to Texas. So you quickly boughta bag, some underwear, shoes,
shoes, toothbrush's the only one theyreally had. Yeah, I couldn't,
but I was impressed. Yeah,and then hopped on the flight. Yeah,
yeah, because that would I wouldbe like, well, I see,
I gotta go home. I gottaset the alarm, I gotta turn
on the lights, gotta take careof the dog. I can't go.

(01:05:06):
So of course, first stop wasthe Post Malone branded or yeah, post
Malone Dallas Cowboys raising Cane's location.Yeah, really awesome. It was pretty
It was pretty cool. Did youget the video posted? Yeah, yeah,
it's up there. I'll yeah,go to the Woody Show on Instagram

(01:05:26):
or Instagram Story. You can seethe video on there. But yeah,
you can buy merch all kinds ofstuff. If you're a massive Dallas Cowboys
fan, this is like your mecca. Yeah, I mean just the whole
building was like blue and silver.So the drive through, like the cars
pulled through the big you know Cowboysstar. Is he from Dallas is yeah?
Yeah, okay, Texas randomly becausehe lives in Utah. He also

(01:05:51):
has another Post Malone branded raising canesin Utah, Okay, but obviously not
Cowboys theme. And then what wasthe price of gas there? Like three
bucks yea, And they say ifyou drive just a little bit out of
town you can get it for underthrown. Yeah it was awesome. I love
but what everybody? Wow? Yeah? Rule so cool. Yeah. So

(01:06:14):
anyway, the week got really hecticbecause we left went. We woke up
Wednesday morning, did the show,left right for the airport, flew to
Dallas, went to the raising Knes, passed out, woke up for the
show yesterday. Did the show.Meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings,
lunch, meetings, meetings, meetings, got back on a plane, flew
back to La. Oh, youforgot the part where we had to wait
extra. We had to wait becausethey had change a tire on the plane.

(01:06:36):
Gray, Oh really, but wewere already on the plane. Oh
wow, How long was that about? Thirty minutes? Forty minutes? Say
forty? Yeah? Yeah, andthen uh what a dreg? Yeah,
So got in late by the timeI got home, had like four minutes
to sleep before I woke up todo this again today. What time did
you guys get in? By thetime I got home was like nine to

(01:06:57):
fifteen or something like that. That'slate. Yeah, because then he got
an unpack and repack was going toVegas. So I'm going to the airport
like right after the show today.Oh my god, but this is fun.
This is like all cool stuff.Going to see Darth Brooks. Y'all.
I know I sound crazy. Wereyou trying to get crazy with this
scene? No? Man, don'tyou know? Look definitely more crazy than

(01:07:19):
I was, you know what I'msaying? Yeah, dog, the weekends
here, guys survived it. Well. A happy Friday from Val in Collegeville
six to one. L Texting in, she said, so I have a
very weekend you too. Yeah.Now, Val could be a dude.

(01:07:44):
We know a dude named Val,but they had like a rosy cheeks smile
emoji afterwards, so I'm assuming that'sa children Fallerina. I'm just thinking,
I don't know the Val we knowwould send that emoji. Yeah, that's
true, that's true. My middlename is Val. I would send that.
Well. Cops in Michigan they gota call about this guy. He
was driving around this super sweet pickuptruck with a large tree embedded in its

(01:08:08):
side. Whoa, he was drivingaround Look at this tree. Oh my
god, he's driving around. Yeah, he's driving around like that raby.
Was he drunk? Oh yeahs annihilight. If he's driving that, so imagine
taking like a big I mean,it's not like a like a sequoia or
anything like that. But it's prettydamn big though. Yeah, it's a

(01:08:30):
pretty big tree. I mean it'sat least I don't know, ten ten
years old, ten twelve feet tallish, it's huge. Oh at least,
no, it's way that's way tallerit. So imagine taking that and
they just taking the trunk and justputting it right right through the hood almost
like where the antenna might have beenon an older model vehicle, and then
he just driving around. Then yeah, so instead of an antenna, he's
got a tree. Then the treestill stands straight up, got all the

(01:08:53):
leaves on on the whole thing sucksanyway, So the cops they see this
vehicle inside was unresponsive, so theofficers, you know, I had to
wake his ass up smashed as wealready said, but he was sent to
the hospital to be checked out andthen taken to jail way to stay on
the d L. Dude, it'slike people that hit somebody and they drive

(01:09:14):
around with their body still in theand the windshields. Crazy. So weird
that happened. Yes, there wasa big story, and then the person
was still alive and she kept theperson in her garage. I'm taking the
title at Raby's not the best memory. That was a big story. Yeah,

(01:09:34):
it was a big story that.Yeah. Somebody was driving, Yeah,
and their body was hanging in thewindshield. Yeah. They drove home
and pulled into the garage. Wow. Person still alive. Persons still in
there. Fun fact, Greg,The legal drinking age in England is five
years old. As long as thekid is drinking alcohol at home. Wow.

(01:09:58):
I would have thought sixteen Yeah,yeah, five. Wow. The
legal drinking age England five years old. As long as the kid is drinking
the alcohol at home, just doit at home. Eight seven seven forty
four Woody has up with the textover to two to nine eighty seven this
weekend drunktyle voicemail. You know yep, driving around the tree in your car,
on your car, leave us thatmessage. Eight seven seven forty four

(01:10:23):
Woody. The Woody Show returns rightafter these messages. This show fucked fu.
Just these fat people standing there?Who are you fard knockers? This
is the Woody Show. Hey bethea I still got a Woody. Well,

(01:10:43):
we are into another new hour insensitivitytraining for a politically correct world.
It is Friday morning, Friday morning, May third, twenty twenty four.
That's Raymy, Greg Gory Menace ishere. Hi, there's Sea Bass.

(01:11:05):
I'm like, what Sammy phones they'reopened at eight seven seven forty four.
Would he hit us up with thattext over to two nine eight seven.
Yes, we get your text inreal time as you send them over here
and show up on this fancy littlescreen. And we actually replied, I
mean, we can't reply to allof them, like sometimes it's just people

(01:11:27):
with a reaction that doesn't necessarily needa response. But if there's questions and
things we do, we really doour best, and everybody on the show,
even the people who are behind thescenes more than they are on the
air, are keeping an eye onthat text. And look, Sea Best
will even fight with you. Yeah, Sea Best will get in a fight
with him daily text arguments. Ibelieve Greg's a big fighter as well.
Greg will occasionally No, I'm sorry, he said he is a debater.

(01:11:51):
He is not arguing. He isa debater, you know, Sea Bess,
Yes you yeah, well sometimes yeah, he's having gonna tell Lgen debate
where seabat I've never makeing points.No, that's right, That's what I'm
lately, I've seen I don't knowtwo exhausted, But every once in a
while one Greg in particular, Gregwill see and we'll just kind of get

(01:12:14):
under his skin. It grinds hisgears, it grinds his tears, it
chaps his bottom and he writes back. And this has been an off the
air source of entertainment for us foryears. And he was like, so,
this person sending this text and itsays whatever it says, he goes
and I wrote back, whatever themature reply is, impression of it.

(01:12:35):
I'm pretty good, right, Yeah, if I was on SNL, they
would definitely use me to play GregGory. I mean, I'd be a
fat version of Greg Gory. You'dbe playing Greg or maybe they just use
my voice and they would just howdoes it go? Again? Though I
forgot already nailing it. It's prettyactive. We talked about their books,

(01:13:03):
right, and then he'll, uh, he'll read whatever he wrote back to
them. So these are real textssent to the Woodie Show to nine eighty
seven, and the real response thatGreg sent to them, and it's backed
by popular demand. We have notdone this. Oh yeah, God,
it's got to be at least ayear at least, maybe I want a
pre excuse that it might just absolutelysuck and we'll never do it. No,

(01:13:25):
no, no, no no,because I'm so out of practice.
No, I'm not confident now,you know what, you're fresh, freaking
out, you're fresh, Yeah,I mean hopefully will be all right.
But here's the thing. These textsdo get sent back, yeah, you
know, and days get ruined.And that's the thing. Greg also goes
probably, he goes that probably ruinedtheir day, right there, He hits
sent ruined their day and the day. And we've we've heard a lot recently

(01:13:48):
from listeners who said they really missedthe Greg's immature replies to text messages.
So here we go, everybody,Greg Gory text number one. I'm going
to do some caping from organ withtext number one because the eight one eight
texted in all of Morgan's crap sucks. She tries too hard, doesn't rep

(01:14:08):
us women and you guys just awkwardlylaugh. Damn, my laughs are genuine.
Yes, that's what's that. It'sa double shot Morgan and Gray.
Yeah is it? Because because ofyour last it's claiming your you're faking.
Oh I'm not. I just flatout to deny that. Okay, all

(01:14:29):
of Morgan's crap sucks. She triestoo hard, doesn't wrap us women,
and you guys just awkwardly laugh.So how about this for a response.
You know, you know what elsetries too hard? That monthly cotton slug
and your s long locker get it? Yes, yeah, for tamps,
that's talking about tamp that's I thinkthat Greg finds hysterically funny tam tampons and

(01:14:51):
peers, camps and peers. Hetamp is working overtime. Or how about
well, at least we don't haveto worry about your bra working too hard.
You know what I'm saying. You'reflat flat, You've got no boobs,
all right. I doesn't even buythem, right right, I buy

(01:15:11):
them? Yeah, waste of money. So again out of practice, But
no, I like it. It'sgood. It could be all right,
I like. I like number two. I like too, is just right
to the your BRA's not working overtime, right trying? Number two might
not apply to that person, sowell, that is true. Number one

(01:15:32):
might not apply either. Number onedefinitely applies, Yeah, definitely, No
one has definitely don't know. That'sthe problem I have with these menace is
that you never know, Like ifI want to rip on their sister,
I don't know if they have asister or not? Right, all right,
maybe which one? Number two?I'm going number two? Menace number
one. I'm going number one.Number one. Settle it easily does number

(01:15:54):
two. All right, there yougo. Okay, go ahead, and
now I'm way faster. I justcut. Oh he figure that out.
Okay, you guys, Day oneruin? Yeah, one day one day
down. Your flat chested immature appliesto real text messages that were sent over
to two to nine eight seven,real replies that he's sending back. And

(01:16:16):
now I cape for myself because thetwo o eight texted in. I like
when Woody asked everybody about their weekendplans, because all I can imagine is
Greg's big plan is drinking and gardentools. Expand your horizons, old man?
WHOA? I mean that hit mehard. I mean they're only describing
your perfect weekend. But hey,thank you exactly. You would hate that

(01:16:40):
so much. Yeah, it wouldsuck to drink and work in the yard.
So I have three options. Okay, O three? How about drinking
and tool? Is how your momspends her weekends. Text that rag.
That's one of my all time favorites. When mom gets called a rag okay
or how out option b weird?You want me to expand my horizons while

(01:17:03):
your dad wishes your mom would unexpandher dungue dungeon stuff unexpanded. It's not
even a work unexpand your but mom, I forget about dum all right,
okay. And then the other one'sreal short. Your mom stores all the

(01:17:25):
tools in her shark head her ship. Oh yeah, sorry, your mom
stores all the tools on her shortshed. All right. I'm trying to
think of which one would really ruinedmy day if I get right, thank
you. It was the first one. Again. Drinking and tool is how
your mom spends her weekends. Textthat rag. I was drinking and tools.
Oh I'm sorry? Did I saytool? Oh? I meant yeah.

(01:17:48):
I meant tool like wiener. Yeahyes. Other two too weird because
it has a fake word in it. Yeah, not a con of the
fake word because he wishes starter,Yeah, all right exactly, and butt

(01:18:08):
stuff and then dungeon and that's whatthe dad wishes. By the way,
feel free as you're listening. Ifyou your favorite, just text over you
know right, all right, Isee your point right now. Uh yeah,
I'm going number two, rave two. I'm going number two. You
and I are going number two,all right, I'll go number two with
number two. Oh everybody, Wellthat's the majority of one. Yeah.

(01:18:32):
One, I said it too,has clearly one. Okay, gotcha,
No need to do that. I'mnot asking which one you like. I
do like one better, okay,because of Rag. I ask that Rag
text text me text that he's doingexactly what I do. But you text
me and the rag is your textyour mom, brag your mom? All

(01:18:57):
right, control c and then wecontrol the okay. And then we said
unlike their mom, who can't controlher v oh roasted. Yes, she's
a whore. That's a bonus rightthere, right yeah, well there it's
Gregory's mature replies a text message,trying to warm them up. Yeah,
get it back in action. Yeahthat's so, I'm rusty. That's a

(01:19:18):
good job, right there. Thanks, we're gonna take a quick break.
Craigslist price is right. Yeah,I know. Just when you thought your
day couldn't get any more exciting,comes a dumb ass contest and your chance
to win a prize phones open.Eight seven seven forty four, Woody is
the number? That's eight seven sevenforty four, Woody. We have all

(01:19:39):
these different things that we found thatare being sold on craigslists. I have
a big old stack of those ads. I'll read one of those ads and
ask somebody here in the room howmuch they think it's being sold for on
Craigslist. You on the phone justhave to guess is the actual Craigslist price
higher or lower than the bid thatwas given here in the studio. And
if you can do that right,you will be the winner. That's the
Craigslist price is right? Eight sevenseven forty four? Whatdy? Call him

(01:20:02):
now to play and we'll do itnext on the Woody Show. Next the
Woody Show. That's good. Really, what is with this? Metis lost
all track of time? Coffee machineis broken? Okay, well show first

(01:20:29):
minute, then coffee machine. Ihate waiting around for people who are supposed
to be in the studio. Whendid we need him for anything? Yeah,
we're doing the crisis price straight.We like lost track of time?
He got to coffees? Yeah,creamers? Great? All right? Okay,
boy, my b eight seven sevenforty four. What is the phone?

(01:20:50):
Number hit us up with the textover to two to nine eighty seven
while we were looking for a littlebuddy, because we're about to play the
Crislist. Price is right. Knowhow much you love playing? I do
love all right. So we haveall these different things. I have ads
that are printed out here in frontof me, things that are being sold
on Craigslist. All you have todo is, once I ask somebody here

(01:21:12):
in the studio to give me howmuch they think it's being sold for on
Craigslist, their bid. You justgot to tell me if their bid is
higher or lower than the actual Craigslistprice. If you can do it,
you can win Craigslist price is right. Let's go to our first contestant of
the round. Let's say hello tohow about one? Hey, good morning
one, Good morning guys, allright, happy to have you on the

(01:21:40):
show. One. See let's goa sea bass on this one? Lucky
nice? All right? How doI hang up on this guy? From
this is? Uh? This isan item, says japan and illustrated Encyclopedia,
beautifully illustrated two volume encyclopedia with zillionsof entries. Realis sounds like somebody's

(01:22:06):
uh belishik a bit that's not veryJapanese, covering Japan's incredible history, society,
economy, science and technology, culture, daily life, and natural settings.
A fun gift for yourself or anyonestudying Japan or Japanese. Excellent condition,
except for a little wear on thecovers. Published in nineteen ninety three,
it's got one nine and twenty fourpages and illustrated encyclopedia of Japan.

(01:22:32):
So that's the difference that what you'rementioned. Really I like being in Japan
because of what they do and howthey do things, but I really don't
give two craps about the history.Yeah yeah, I didn't really mystery history
stuff. I just like how theywrap it. It's like the food and
like robots and how much and stuff. I will say one hundred, no,

(01:22:53):
no, no, that's too much. Eighty dollars, eighty dollars.
One what do you think the actualcraigsist price higher or lower than eighty dollars.
I'm gonna go lower lower actual crazynobody loves you like that is only
twenty five colly All right, one, hang on one second, man,

(01:23:15):
We'll get all your information. Okay, perfect a, right, thanks man,
good job. Let's go to Tory. Hey, good morning, Tory,
Tory, good morning, good monmorning. All right, next up,
let's go with uh go your wayon. This one's in sorry medicines,
you were late. I'm gonna gowith Raby okay, because there's also

(01:23:36):
another wrinkle why she would get thisone, because not only does she love
golf, yeah, I mean Ilike it, she also likes O.
J. Simpson A lot is true. OJ, I get it, I
get it. It is an OJSimpson autographed golf scorecard. Oh wow,
okay, So on May nineteen ninety, I was playing golf at Hanson damn

(01:24:01):
golf course. OJ was in afoursome ahead of us. Nice. Yeah,
the play was slow. We wereall waiting to tee off. OJ
went to his card and signed fourscorecards and handed them to each of us.
It's a bold signature and black sharpieand it says peace to you,
Peace to you. Eh. Yeah, there's a there's a picture. It

(01:24:25):
was still pretty fresh back then.That's awesome. Yeah. Yeah, heck
yeah, all right, Rabe,how much is say, one hundred bucks,
one hundred dollars? What do youthink, Tory? Is the actual
Craigslist price higher lower than one hundredbucks. I'm going to say higher higher
actual Craigslist price two and twenty fivedollars for sale. Raby wouldn't say one

(01:24:51):
hundred. She'd say, I don'tcare how much it is. Yeahs,
all right, Tory, thank you. Hang on second, we'll get all
your information. Everybody say hi toRalph. Hey, good morning, Hey
Ralph, Ralph? Are you there? Morning? There? He is?

(01:25:12):
All right? Menace eure up,oh sweet, thank you. All right,
menace, here we go. Allfor sale on Craigslist. Yeah,
fifty percent off five zero fifty percentoff pizza coupons right now. This person
for sale, I'm looking this personliterally went through and cut out these fifty

(01:25:33):
percent off coupons off of whatever thisIt looks like old pizza boxes and they're
selling them and it says, savesave money on pizza with these fifty percent
off coupons. I've clipped. That'sawesome. Yeah, and they have them
in a bowl sitting on top ofa like an area carpet, like an

(01:25:53):
area rug. Oh my god.Yeah, they look like a little cardboard,
you know, from the flap ofthe pizza box, Like did they
go dumpster diving to get this?By the color, those might be little
skeezers. Man, this might befor you. I can't I can't see.
Let's say if it is little Caesar'sabout ten bucks pie half five five

(01:26:15):
dollars, but we don't know anumber. Count on how many cupns.
I can try to get a roughget one, two, three, or
let's say like six or seven.All right, let's say ten bucks ten
dollars. Rout. What do youthink higher or lower than ten dollars?
I'm gonna go with lower lower actualCraigslist price, A bargained just one dollar.

(01:26:44):
This person just wants to be youguys, have a great weekend.
Sorry man, all right, Ralph, thanks for the call, man,
appreciate you listening. And Joordan,sorry, he's a winner. Tell you
won coffee. Dude, I'm shockedby the amount. Not only are they
selling these, they don't want touse them. Yeah right, I'm gonna
find one just for Greg. Whatif he's as he also sells, like

(01:27:06):
yogurt lids. Yeah, okay,those little plastic clips that come on breadloaw
evelin everybody. Yeah, hi guys, all right, Evelyn, here we
go force on Craigslist. Craig,this is for you. It's an air
brushed pit bull painting. Let's seeand uh, yeah, this is one

(01:27:31):
so that they had like like lookslike what do they call that ship lap?
Yes, it looks like they airbrushed it on something on some ship
lap and then you can hang itup like a like a picture on the
wall. Okay, air brushed paintingof pit bulldog no longer needed in my
home. Let me show you that. Let me show you the picture that

(01:27:57):
penus penis walls. Yeah, thedog, but the thing came up with
here with this page. You seehow they painted on the Yeah, it's
not bad. Which guy that wouldwould that be wings coding? Maybe?
Yeah? Yeah, it's to theirplanks are too wide to be ship line.
I wonder why they don't need itanymore? I know, how is

(01:28:18):
it not needed? Yeah, let'sgo with display. That depends on what
that dog we are talking about art. Greg's an artist and he loves pitbulls.
So for Greg, right right,right, Yeah, I think they're
going to be aiming for fifty dollarsfifty You think the actual Craigslist price is
higher or lower? Evelyn? Isee higher higher actual Craigslist price seventy five?

(01:28:46):
Yeah, all right, Evelyn,thank you for the call and hang
out. We'll get all of yourinformation. Oh wow, we were getting
a lot of winners this morning.All winners. Rip. That puts pressure
on the next person. Let's goto uh Jack, what's up Jack?
Hello? Jack'll this morning? We'redoing great, We're playing the Craigslist price

(01:29:08):
is right and uh we go Sammy, you haven't had one yet, right?
Okay, Sammy, this is aoh perfect for Sammy even more Disney
on Ice. Okay, light upMusical Wand it's it's one of those like
toys theyself with the kids, Yeah, which are expensive. Would never let
us get these, so it says, got this at Disney on Ice.

(01:29:30):
This magical light up Disney Wand playsthe Mickey Mouse Club March three times.
When you press the button, thelights flash inside and the blue bubble where
Mickey Mouse is leading the band keptin a smoke free home. If that's
important, that's important God. Otherwisethey would read yeah, all right,
so you want to see it again? Here Sam getting rid of something?

(01:29:53):
So wand I'm gonna say twenty fivereally drink it in? I mean it
is right, how much twenty fivetwenty five dollars? Jack? Do you
think the actual Craigslist price is higheror lower than twenty five dollars. Let's
go with higher higher actual Craigslist price. It looks like Sammy really knows her

(01:30:13):
stuff. It's actually twenty five dollars. Time goes to the collar. So
congratulations, man, you are awinner. Thank you, Jack, Thank
you. Also, hang on,Sammy wants to add so she can buy.
I like that. It makes noise. She just went to a Disney
on iceught one. Those go forlike fifty dollars, so half half off

(01:30:34):
ideal? What is it? Whatis that? Rave? Whoa? Let
me find one for sey? Ihave tons of one? You know,
nothing that plays a song? Though, no, it's not, it's not
ans will break in ten minutes.Wait, everybody already have one? Right

(01:30:56):
noise? How you play the Craigslistprice is right? Yeah? Well I
forgot you had the japan encyclopedia.Well we got a break, okay,
we got to stay on time?Man, Yes, one more email about
time is a construct? More whathe shows next hand show will be right

(01:31:17):
back. But all, well,let's see how about some food news news
food news. First of all,Greg has a shout out. I discovered
something at Trader Joe's, which I'msure has been there forever. You just

(01:31:41):
I'm not saying it'd new. Yeah, it has been there, but go
ahead, right the it's in thefrozen section is the mashed cauliflower. They
make it so well. It's reallyweird too. It comes in the bag.
Yeah, it comes in the bagand each pellets like pellet shape,
and then once once you start makingit, you're like, this is so

(01:32:01):
weird and gross, and then onceit's done, you're, damn, this
is good. Girl. Yeah.He says that even Rabie will like it.
You would like it, No,I hate. It tastes a lot
like I mean, it's not it'snot potatoes, but it's you know what
else they have it like even Ravingsounds similar with customers also bought. Uh.

(01:32:23):
They have rice cauliflower stir fry.That's really good. I've gotten that
before. Yeah, my wife andI both really like that. But that's
like really good. Cauliflower is soversatile and yummy's raw cooked anyway. Figure

(01:32:43):
Mother Food News Taco Bell they're testingnew Crispy Chicken nuggets which are used They're
good. Yeah, they're infused withthe kalapanio buttermilk marinade and they're coated in
crushed up tortilla bits. Yea tocome with one of two sauces, a
new Bell sauce whatever the hell thatis, or a new Gilapano honey mustard.

(01:33:08):
Nice. So you had those atthe press event, dude, they
had like, well like thirty itemsthere. So, like any new item,
you're about to say, yeah,next year, I've had it rules.
I've been testing around a couple ofnew markets. People are like,
okay, great, so now TacoBell, Yeah, it seems so unnecessary.
They go, they go, whydoes Taco Bell have chicken nuggets and

(01:33:28):
French fries at a Mexican restaurant,Like it's not really a Mexican restaurant.
Yeah, it's like, but itseems necessary. But like I said,
their new canteen of chicken line fireYeah, yeah, so good. No,
remember you can't say fire anymore now, it's just dude, come on
cool, Thank you, Thank you. Many people that tried the Baja Blast

(01:33:48):
cheesecake that they have Baja Blast,yeah, god forbid you bring us some
in only had one slice. Someother Food News put it in his pockets.
I did have like three slices,but thank you, I couldn't bring
it on the plane, but hedidn't bring a cooler. Yeah, I
have no interest in this, butuh, for you Arby's people, you

(01:34:12):
massacrests out there, some new itemsare on the menu. They are at
Arby's breaded chicken snack wraps. They'reavailable in ranch, barbecue or honey mustard.
I'm always thinking like healthy and stuff. Now they also have an orange
cream shake, which you don't likea cream sickles, but it sounds like
it tastes like because you know whatI had? How are you poop pooped
cream sickle or push up or youknow what it had? For the first

(01:34:35):
time, Wendy's has a an orangefrosty, like a creamsicle frosty and for
summer, so good is it lit? It's lit And I wouldn't have just
stopped in just to get one,but my kids discovered them and they're all
about so now it's like if we'rejust gonna grab fast food or whatever,
Now Wendy's is their go to aslong as they have this orange creamsicle frosty

(01:34:59):
because that's what they want. Igo. I'll try it. It's so
good and so I tried it,and I agree it's really really good.
Better than the chocolate. Uh,the chocolates a classic, but this,
Yeah, I mean there's two differentthings. If you want chocolate, fine,
but I think if you want something, I don't see myself dipping my
French fries in it. No,you don't dip your French fries in it?

(01:35:21):
Oh? No? Is that theonly way you can eat French fries
ice cream? If I get afrosty, you don't have to get a
separate frosty. Yeah, just getlike a get like a kid's frosty because
they're really small. That could bethere. It's about the size of something
you would use for a dip.See now we're talking. Yeah problem,
Yeah, get a second frosty justfor dipping fries. Yeah, that would
work great. Take your feed upon the dashboard back in a few The

(01:35:44):
Woody Show show. They want tolike smell my feet, and my feet
got hurt to smell The Woody Show. I love the back everybody. Yeah,
a glorious Friday is upon us.Thank getting through it into the weekend.
We are The Woody Show. Readygot nerd now coming up here in
just a few moments, we'll findout what's happening in the world of nerds

(01:36:05):
now, Raby, I'm sure you'vealready seen the story about how Daniel Radcliffe
says that jk's anti transgender rants makehim really sad. They make him sad,
and then it's divided the internet likecrazy, Yeah, because there's like
a lot of people out there sayingDaniel Radcliffe owes everything he has to JK

(01:36:25):
Rowling. Well, he kind ofdoes, and to a degree that's true
with d Harry Potter. Would weknow who Daniel Radcliffe is? Probably not,
but that job was over decade plusago, you know, so the
fact that he, I think,the fact that he is doing what he's
doing now is a lot to thefact that he was Harry Potter, surefile

(01:36:49):
but yeah, she was part ofit. But here's the thing that does
suck is just like this is Jk'sthing, her back and forth, and
everybody that's ever worked on Harry Potteris being dragged into it and being party
and it sucks for them. Yeah. Yeah, JK e more recently is

(01:37:10):
like off the rails. I'm like, okay, girl, get back in
the castle. Yeah, she's doublingdown. Yeah, there was like a
Harry Potter castle store that you Oh. I was just looking up some news
and it was obviously always titled forclickbait. I thought it was an actual
castle that was that. No,it was something they called the Harry Potter

(01:37:34):
Oh okay, there was there wassome like fire or some Yeah, there
was like they called the Harry PotterCastle and got Yeah, it was part
of the stuff that's going on withRussia and Ukraine. Okay, but it
was just named Harry Potter Castle.This other thing I wanted to bring up.
You know, we're talking about howbon Jovi John bon Jovi, I
should say, you know, Iwas saying that, you know, the

(01:37:56):
reason that he's been with his wifefor thirty some years at this point is
because he has turned the other youknow, cheek or like turned the other
direction while he's been you know,cheating. Yeah that'll help with the marriage.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, itmakes things easier, right of course.
But yeah, now he's talking abouthow much he cheated on his wife.
In this interview, he says,quote, I got away with murder.

(01:38:18):
I'm a rock and roll star.I'm not a saint, which is
what you guys were saying. Nowthat you said that, Like, I'm
like, what a idiot. Idon't know why held in such a high
I just you know how like,okay, like Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson.
There's just certain people who have beentogether for so long Melanie Griffith and

(01:38:41):
h Johnson Russell. Yeah, that'sKurt Russell and Goldie Han. That's who
I'm thinking of, right, Likethese couples who have just kind of been
together, like they are the anomalywhen it comes to these like, uh,
you know, big hollywoods. Forwhatever reason, I kind of had
him in that category of like,oh, he's been with the same chick

(01:39:02):
for a long time. M hmm. Maybe he's just not like I like
if it was Nicky six from MotleyCrue, Wow, you know something like
that, Like I would expect itmore. I'm not the purity that is
John j Anyway, so he says, you know, I'm not saying there
weren't a hundred girls or more inmy life. I'm John bon Jovie.
It was pretty good. But thenhe also says out of the other side

(01:39:24):
of his mouth that he would neverlet any extracurricular activities jeopardize his relationship with
his wife say we say it's cheating, maybe he's labeled at cheating, but
maybe they just had, like anhave some kind of agreement. Yeah,
he said, there's no doubt inmy mind that this world revolves because of
her, because of what she didto keep the kids right, what she

(01:39:45):
does to keep me right, whatwe do together to keep it right,
no doubt about it. Oh good, Well, then by all means respect
her that much, so much,keep eye. That's what I'm saying.
There is an agreement. There's noYeah, I mean he's not going out
and getting another girl friend or anything. He's just banging people. He's just
banging. Okay, all about it. Yeah, once again the apologist for

(01:40:08):
cheaters. I mean to say thatearth rotates because of her, and then
that's how he treats her. Right, And I'm still so surprised by Sammy
and her take on this as someonewho was cheated on, right, Like,
I'm surprised you have this attitude towardit. I'm just saying I think
they have an agreement, and that'sokay. I mean, whenever you guys
decided in your bon Jovi at thispoint, now, I'm just talking about
you've always defended cheaters for whatever reason. Yeah, and Gen very blase to

(01:40:30):
it. Yeah, you're very kindof like, uh, you're very soft
to it. It's surprising. Yeah, I didn't used to be that way.
And then I just got to thepoint where it's like, you're not
going to control people. They're goingto do that. If they're going to
do it. I'm not saying,oh, stay with this person. But
I don't think it has to dowith you. If you're in a relationship

(01:40:50):
with somebody who cheats on you,I don't think them cheating on you has
to do with you. It hasto do with them. And that's why
you just go like, Okay,that's a you thing. Okay, well
it's also a couple thing. Itaffects you both. No, of course,
Like I'm like I said, I'mnot saying stay with them, But
I also I think a lot ofpeople, if they get cheated on,

(01:41:11):
end up feeling like what did Ido wrong? Or how could you have
done this to me? And allof this, And I just don't think
it has to do with that.It could have been your fault. I
don't know. I don't think.I don't know what the situation was reship.
It could have been you know this. Yeah, we don't really know,
all right, some of the holidays. Today it's May third. It
is National Chocolate Custard Day. Ohyeah. It's also National Raspberry pop Over

(01:41:36):
Day. But I love me someraspberry. Okay, I don't know what
a popover is, but I'm kindof like it's like a handheld pie kind
of yeah. Oh yeah, okay, yeah, it's like it's got the
end pastry and you know I lovea good mini pie. Yeah, really
good. Who cares what's in it? I'm very excited. It's National space
Day. Space shout out the space. Greg, Yes, who one to

(01:42:00):
deal with this? It's lumpy RugDay sight Yeah, lumpy Rug. I
hated lumpy Rug. Replace it?And also for Greg, like, if
you had a gigantic penis, whatwould you be doing? Never wearing pants?
Never Wearing pants Day? Is NationalNo Pants Dance? Is that one
everybody gets on the subway and wearsno pants? I think that happens today?

(01:42:23):
Really? Yeah? Is that whatit is? Okay? I'm not
sure that's a Sea Bass question andhe's not in the studio. Well,
whether it's today or not, justdo it. Mant National no pants Standard.
The Woody Show Presents Nerd Note withour special NERD correspondent Gravy. Alright,
Raby, what was happening in theworld of nerds? So the Fall
guys the big movie this weekend.As summer movie season begins to ramp up.

(01:42:45):
They did the Red Carpet this weekand star Ryan Gosling showed up with
mikey Day as Beabs and buthead.Yeah, I saw that. I mean
I loved it, but I waslike, isn't it a weird tie in?
It's very odd. But Gosling didwalk the carpet as himself first,
so he did had like this mintGucci suit on and did interviews. They

(01:43:10):
did like a stunt thing with acouple of the stunt guys. So then
after he walked in the mint suit, he then got in the Beavis outfit
and walked it again. Now that'sfunny, I think, just capitalizing on
something. It's sure that skit wasreally funny. Loved it on April thirteenth
because Heidi Gardner could could not stopcracking on so that was a lot of

(01:43:32):
fun. Gosling's co stars Emily Bluntand she was on with Howard Stern this
week and she told a lovely storyabout h Taylor Swift. Oh, okay,
okay, I know Greg's really excited, and I kind of feel that
way about Taylor Swift as well,But I really like this story. It
was about her older daughter, Hazel, who was having like self esteem issues

(01:43:54):
like all young girls do, andshe had this particularly like short haircut and
it was just bothering her. Itwas just making her nervous and she didn't
like it. And so Emily Blunttells Howard the Taylor came over to say
hello and said, God, lookat you. You're just like a sixties
beating a cool kid. I loveyour style. And Emily said Hazel was

(01:44:15):
fine after that nearly fainted. Yes, she was being nice, but that
interaction. Now, Taylor Swift islike Emily Blunt's favorite person on planet her.
Oh, life is better when youhave mega a list friends who bring
in a little kindness to your kids. Right, so nice. Yeah,
the short hair thing don't do itwell, ladies. I mean, I

(01:44:38):
know other ladies will tell you it'sgreat, and that's the only people that
will tell you it's awesome. Mysister in law has always had pretty short
hair. One time she went reallyshortly she needed a Taylor swift my wife.
My wife went like, you knowdyke short. Yeah, yeah,
she calls it her Dyke face.I don't remember that. Oh noah together,

(01:45:00):
yeah yeah, thank god. Shortlyafter college it was not as short
as our hair. Grin and herfriends said it was awesome at the time,
like Jen can't even see a pictureof herself, uto want a mistake.
So Lenny Kravitz went viral recently forposting a picture at the gym where

(01:45:25):
he was working out in leather pantsand sunglasses. Okay, his trainer was
in sunglasses as well, and soit went so viral that Lenny commented about
it, and he said he doesn'tdo it for effect. It's just him
walking off the street going to thegym. And he said he doesn't care
about the criticism. Quote. Iknow what I'm doing, and my trainer

(01:45:47):
knows what he's doing. I knowmy body and what my body does and
what it can do and how itfeels, and it's all good. I've
trained with elite athletes, football players, NFL, NBA stars, I've trained
with MLB stars, wrestlers, boxers, I've played with them all. I
won't mention names because they are peopleyou would know, and they'll all tell

(01:46:08):
you I trained very seriously. Wellyeah, look at the results. Yeah,
speak for themselves. A couple ofthe things I noticed about that video.
By the way, his trainer that'sin the video, it's inside,
and he's wearing a sunglass. Yeahthat's what I said. Trainer has sunglasses
on as well. And then alsois like, look at the amount of
weight that is doing. Oh heis like he's jacked. With a little

(01:46:30):
effort, he's jacked. Yeah.Yeah, but that should have been the
takeaway. But the takeaway was lookat what he's wearing, not like,
look at how much then he canlift. I'm Rabian. For more nerd
stuff, check out the Nerd Notpodcast at the Woody Show dot com.
Nerda Buila wouldn't approve the wood Show. Well, that's gonna do it for

(01:46:53):
this hour. That is gonna doit for today's show. Guys, that's
gonna do it for the week.Oh really, Yeah, the week's over.
It's time two weekend rip, nip, slip and drip. Y'all.
All right, So Friday Woody Showon the podcast. You can find it
just go to the Woodieshow dot comToday, it's it's what everybody's talking about

(01:47:15):
Star Wars Day, tomorrow and todayon the show The Fake Casting Call where
Sea Bass was, you know,running these actors and actresses through the ringer
on this audition for the next StarWars movie. You miss a screenplay that
Sea Bass wrote, you can onlyimagine. Well, if you heard it,
you can imagine. But if youmissed, it's on today's podcast Fail
Stories, duy Q, Raves,Nerd, Now, Porn on Birthdays and

(01:47:39):
more. Find it on the Fridaypodcast by going to the woodieshow dot com.
Another holiday this weekend that's happening besidesStar Wars Day, May the fourth
be with you. Sinco to Myowis on Sunday and so coming up Monday
morning, Sea Bass is working onour second annual Woody show, Cinco de
Mayo. Yes, now Greg loveshim some mayonnaise at the altar and that

(01:48:02):
is that is not like some kindof innuendo like I love Jimate loves like
helmets like mayonnaise loves it so good. So Sinco de Mayo is on Monday.
Plus, anything you got for usin the meantime you can leave for
us on the after hours voicemail eightseven seven forty four. Woody is the
number. Thoughts, drunk dove,voicemails, whatever you got or on our

(01:48:24):
social media you can find us,follow us at the Woody Show. Yeah,
all right, ravy, menace,sea bass, anything like to add
Greg Gory partying words of wisdom pleaseye remember that alcohol tastes better than tears,
always will. Although alcohol does getpeople emotional, that's true, and
they cant all weepy, like notsad, They're like, oh I just

(01:48:45):
love you so much. Man.Hey, look if you get that way,
please leave us a message. Yeah, definitely drunk doll voicemail rare eight
seven seven forty four. All right, thank you very much, Greg Gory,
thank you so much for giving theWoody Show some of your valuable time
this week. You know we loveit, appreciate you for that. The
rest of you guys can suck it. We will catch you back here on
Monday. Have yourself a great weekend. Smdublem bye a great Friday, you mother,