On today's P1 Podcast Eddie tells us about receiving coach of the year for his little league, and the them he's being forced to adhere to.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Well, guys, this is prettyremarkable. I'm stunned, to be honest
with you, that I am winninga major coaching award. Yes, I
am being awarded a big coaching awardthis Saturday at some banquet that my whole
district is doing. It's not justeven my little league, it's it's their
(00:22):
entire district. I think it's Coachof the Year, I know, not
even sure, which is pretty wildfor me. And honestly, it is
the biggest award I've ever won.Wow. I mean, you know,
it's cool. I've won San DiegoRadio Personality the Year a couple of times,
and our show is one, youknow, best radio morning show for
like, I don't know, tenmillion years ago. That's cool. This,
(00:44):
though, is really a dream andtrue Coach of the Year. This
is my life's work. The onlything is this banquet where it's going to
be at is a theme. Thetheme I don't agree with. We ain't
done yet. It's time. Onepodcast a completely uncensored and uncting, filtered
(01:06):
except for that part the the show'safter show starts now. I don't know
if I'm a big banquet guy,Gallas things like that. That's not my
style. I love a good gallery. I know you do. You like
to dress up the sky. Youused to have your gallaws that used to
go to and there was always themed. Oh yeah, they were themed and
(01:27):
like people took it fucking serious likeyou, well you did you? Oh
no, you were like j Lohooker something. The white coat that she
wore. Yeah yeah, like yeah, a hooker because she had like it
was cowboy theme. It was likeit wore a fur coat. Well no,
it was supposed to be like byend cowboy like kind of like the
(01:47):
soap opera Dallas. It was asbad as it gets. Yeah, it
was as bad as oil oil money, but really looked like a hooker.
That's what I ended up. Didyou wear a cowboy Yeah, here's no
way you found a cowboy that?Okay, No, I was a Barbie
hat. It was actual cowboy hat. I dazzled it. We also had
a steam punk year. Steampunk waspretty crazy. There was like a Midnight
(02:10):
Garden one year, but everybody favorite. But everybody's favorite was Midnight Masquerade because
we got to wear these masks andeverybody wore these like fifty shades, like
sexy push up dresses. Your boobswere out elementary school. All the guys
(02:31):
are TUXI currently trying desperately to findthis photo of Scott Sky. I don't
know, but I will see those. Oh yeah, they're They're on my
Instagram. I to scroll back afew years. But yeah, so lots
of themes, and and I didn'trealize about like when you're an adult and
it's like a gala or a themeon that level, you have to participate.
(02:53):
Like there were a couple of peoplewho showed up just like, oh,
I'm just gonna wear a basic suitor I'm just gonna wear a basic
dress, and like, I mean, they stood out like a sore.
Oh yeah, very excited about themeparties and things like that. Me opposite,
I don't like getting dressed up forstuff. I like to be my
(03:15):
basic T shirt, shorts, everyday type of a guy. I will,
you know, put on some decentclothes to go out to like a
nice dinner or something. But evenwearing pants is like a effort for me,
so I don't love it. Iremember that you went, like I
don't know if it's over the summer, to some sort of like white trash
party, and and I remember going, oh my god, like because I
(03:38):
never see you go to like dressup parties like that, and I was
like, wow, look at Eddieand his wife. Yeah, my friends
do a Christmas party every year andit's always themed. So like the year
before that, it was dressed asyour spouse, and I phoned it in
because I just what does my wifewears Disney shirts, jeans, That's what
that was me dressing with my wife. Now, she my wife, Deborah,
(04:00):
went all out and she dressed asme and she put the full beard
on, like I mean, shewent for it, and I kind of
did look like an asshole because Iwas totally to find it. I found
it. Okay, go ahead,you can show it. Let me see.
Here we go. Oh wow,look at that. Look at all
(04:20):
that a leopard top under sixteen.It's like eight years ago, gold glittery,
gold over. Yeah, that wasmy first gallop. That's the real
stunner. Yeah, that is areal sun. Yeah. But you guys
like mingling with people too. You'reout so you of the house. You
look like you're a bad w wE tag team. She's the man,
(04:45):
it's hooker and horror. That's agood My husband's he's the horror. I
don't know he's hooker and you're themanager whoreror Okay, hooker. I wanted
to know, is that not good? Eddie's better at that doesn't work?
That doesn't really work. So anyway, uh yeah. And then last year
was this white trash theme party andI and I have like several mullets wigs.
(05:08):
That was easy. Yeah, SoI threw that on, and I
threw a bunch of other stuff onand that I still went for comfort though,
because my white trash theme. Ihad American flag like weightlifter pants,
you know, like those super comfyalmost like the ones the guy on Napoleon
Dynamite at Rex quality. Yeah,so you know, like this again,
bad eighties wrestlers would wear these kindof things and they were so comfortable.
(05:30):
So again super And I had acors Light T shirt. Oh no,
course original obviously and just so againI am going comfort. Now. When
I find out that this gala banquetthing that I'm invited to you where I'm
gonna win this award, a veryprestigious award, I find out, no,
this is a fancy event. Thisis gonna be a big hotel ballroom,
(05:50):
like it's a full you know,sit down dinner awards banquet thing.
You gotta dress up, dress up, yeah, Eddie, fuck I don't.
I hate it. But you don'twant to tie? Yes, I
have a tie and I never untieit. It's it's still pret tired.
(06:15):
I don't know how to tie atie. I don't wear tis and so
the thought of like trying to figureout how to tie tie is in my
nightmare. And I don't. Andwhat's good about like the kind of newer
fashion is that most guys don't haveto wear TI or you can wear a
suit that's that's open button. Yeah, it was great. Now that being
said, though Eddie did wear jeansto a funeral. I'm not sure why
(06:39):
that's being brought up right now.You don't have asshole. I've told you
several times that I thought it was. It wasn't one. It was one
of my wife and uncles. AndI know a bunch of her cousins are
dirty, so I kind of thought, like, okay, these if I
(07:00):
wear a black button down, that'sfine, And that's what I had.
And I had a black button downbecause the funeral, Come on, bro,
And I compare that with jeans.Yeah, I think I'm good.
I like, I'll buy one ofthe best dressed guys there. And then
I show up and these motherfuckers wearingfull suits and ships. And then the
worst part was part you know itwas the worst part is that I guess
(07:25):
one of the cousins or something didn'tcome or got sick. I don't even
remember what it was. And theytagged me into be a pall bearer,
so he's carrying the casket. Ilearned. I learned my lesson. I'm
never gonna let that. Yeah,so now at least we know you have
something. I bought some slacks outyears ago. I forget what I'll never
(07:48):
forget when he came in and toldme, dude, yeah, okay,
so I'm not a dress up guy. I mean it takes a lot.
Even when I go out to fancydinner, I still wear like a nice
shirt and jeans because I just Ican't do it. I hate it,
and so it's not my thing.But whatever. And I what really fucking
sucks is that last year I foundout what the theme was and it was
(08:09):
right up my alley. It wasa tropical theme, so all the guys
were in like Hawaiian shirts and shortI have that and drinks rudy cocktails.
I'm like, what can we dothat again? I don't get a choice
in this. So when I foundout what the theme is, I don't
(08:33):
know what I'm gonna do. Like, I just went, what does that
even mean? I don't even knowwhat it means. So the theme for
this big Baseball gala is glitter andgold, glitter and gold as a man,
what does that mean? Because thefemales and you know, I feel
(08:56):
like you guys, I'm sorry,guy can't wear glitter, gold or gold.
I mean, yeah, this issuper number easy for chicks. I'm
like trying to process what a guywould wear and you could wear. I
could let you borrow my chain.He's gonna graphic. I don't think i'd
wear a graphic fancy then will you? Can you go as gold dust the
(09:24):
wrestler? Because that would sparkly gold? Doesn't he paint? He paints gold
and black all gold. Deborah couldhave a cell phone and walk behind you
with theme music. He was veryhome. He would other men's faces.
I'm not going to do that.So I told my friend Emily this and
(09:45):
she started laughing out loud at me. I was crying. Come on.
I don't. This is not fairto this is not fair to me.
This is my big moment. AndI got to find a gold shirt and
what the hell does that even?I don't think I made it any better
when Eddie was toasting his bagel andI had to get on Amazon right away
and write gold men's shirt and sawall they got silk like like what you
(10:09):
would see, you know, guyswearing maybe in hillcrest or something with the
deep button unbuttoned all the way toyour belly button. It's not my look.
It's not my look. So Idon't. I don't know. This
is not going to go well forme. I already know it, but
I did after Emily humiliated me.Yeah, I decided, all right,
well let me go on Amazon too, oh because I gotta find something.
(10:30):
Yeah, okay, I said onsomething guys, and I picked, Well,
I only have a few days.It's this Saturday, this week,
this is Saturday. Today's the dayyou got to order it. So I'm
like, I got it, youknow, one day, two day thing.
I gotta I gotta get on thisand figure this out. Options were
limited. Okay, I'm not gonnawear a long sleeve gold thing. That's
(10:52):
not me and I would be toohot. Silk is out. I'm sorry,
guys, I'm not that's not justthat's just not you want to silk
graphic tea. No, I don'tthink that's what I've chosen to wear.
Now, recognize the model in Thisis not exactly how I'm gonna wear this.
(11:13):
My inspiration is a wrestler, butit is not gold dust or I
feel like I'm gonna slightly look likeFinal Boss. Final. Oh that's a
great look. Final the Final Boss, the Rock when he is returned to
the w W Boss, he's allabout these crazy loud shirts and this is
(11:35):
like recently. Yes, it's hisbest gimmick he's ever had, and he
called himself the Final Boss. Hedrops f Bomb's live TV. He's amazing.
Guys, when you see this FinalBoss Eddie, don't don't you're you're
gonna see the model and you're notgonna understand it. Why this is not
how I'm gonna wear it. Thisis not how I'm gonna wear it,
(11:56):
Guys. This motherfucking don is wearingit unbuttoned. Oh my god, I
look at your alps. At lookat your alps. This won't be me.
But that's very final boss, right, that is very very gold and
silky, So it's not it's notyou have apps like that again. I'm
(12:18):
not gonna wear it unbuttoned like that. That's stupid. Now you're the final
captain. So that's my gold shirtthat I've decided to go with, which
I think is fancy. It isfancy. You have to go no shirt.
No again, you have to dothat. I'm not going to be
It would be fucking epic if youshowed up with an open shirt with no
(12:41):
shirt I don't know, it wouldbe the most epic ship ever. And
you don't give a fuck what anybodythinks. This is you gotta you gotta
shame. I don't know that.I don't know that I'm going to do
that. Sunglasses. You gotta wearsunglasses. You got to. I am
not the rock people on stage.She's adn't gonna war on. Can you
smell what Eddie is cooking? Okay, it's not good
Well, guys, this is prettyremarkable. I'm stunned, to be honest
with you, that I am winninga major coaching award. Yes, I
am being awarded a big coaching awardthis Saturday at some banquet that my whole
district is doing. It's not justeven my little league, it's it's their
(00:22):
entire district. I think it's Coachof the Year, I know, not
even sure, which is pretty wildfor me. And honestly, it is
the biggest award I've ever won.Wow. I mean, you know,
it's cool. I've won San DiegoRadio Personality the Year a couple of times,
and our show is one, youknow, best radio morning show for
like, I don't know, tenmillion years ago. That's cool. This,
(00:44):
though, is really a dream andtrue Coach of the Year. This
is my life's work. The onlything is this banquet where it's going to
be at is a theme. Thetheme I don't agree with. We ain't
done yet. It's time. Onepodcast a completely uncensored and uncting, filtered
(01:06):
except for that part the the show'safter show starts now. I don't know
if I'm a big banquet guy,Gallas things like that. That's not my
style. I love a good gallery. I know you do. You like
to dress up the sky. Youused to have your gallaws that used to
go to and there was always themed. Oh yeah, they were themed and
(01:27):
like people took it fucking serious likeyou, well you did you? Oh
no, you were like j Lohooker something. The white coat that she
wore. Yeah yeah, like yeah, a hooker because she had like it
was cowboy theme. It was likeit wore a fur coat. Well no,
it was supposed to be like byend cowboy like kind of like the
(01:47):
soap opera Dallas. It was asbad as it gets. Yeah, it
was as bad as oil oil money, but really looked like a hooker.
That's what I ended up. Didyou wear a cowboy Yeah, here's no
way you found a cowboy that?Okay, No, I was a Barbie
hat. It was actual cowboy hat. I dazzled it. We also had
a steam punk year. Steampunk waspretty crazy. There was like a Midnight
(02:10):
Garden one year, but everybody favorite. But everybody's favorite was Midnight Masquerade because
we got to wear these masks andeverybody wore these like fifty shades, like
sexy push up dresses. Your boobswere out elementary school. All the guys
(02:31):
are TUXI currently trying desperately to findthis photo of Scott Sky. I don't
know, but I will see those. Oh yeah, they're They're on my
Instagram. I to scroll back afew years. But yeah, so lots
of themes, and and I didn'trealize about like when you're an adult and
it's like a gala or a themeon that level, you have to participate.
(02:53):
Like there were a couple of peoplewho showed up just like, oh,
I'm just gonna wear a basic suitor I'm just gonna wear a basic
dress, and like, I mean, they stood out like a sore.
Oh yeah, very excited about themeparties and things like that. Me opposite,
I don't like getting dressed up forstuff. I like to be my
(03:15):
basic T shirt, shorts, everyday type of a guy. I will,
you know, put on some decentclothes to go out to like a
nice dinner or something. But evenwearing pants is like a effort for me,
so I don't love it. Iremember that you went, like I
don't know if it's over the summer, to some sort of like white trash
party, and and I remember going, oh my god, like because I
(03:38):
never see you go to like dressup parties like that, and I was
like, wow, look at Eddieand his wife. Yeah, my friends
do a Christmas party every year andit's always themed. So like the year
before that, it was dressed asyour spouse, and I phoned it in
because I just what does my wifewears Disney shirts, jeans, That's what
that was me dressing with my wife. Now, she my wife, Deborah,
(04:00):
went all out and she dressed asme and she put the full beard
on, like I mean, shewent for it, and I kind of
did look like an asshole because Iwas totally to find it. I found
it. Okay, go ahead,you can show it. Let me see.
Here we go. Oh wow,look at that. Look at all
(04:20):
that a leopard top under sixteen.It's like eight years ago, gold glittery,
gold over. Yeah, that wasmy first gallop. That's the real
stunner. Yeah, that is areal sun. Yeah. But you guys
like mingling with people too. You'reout so you of the house. You
look like you're a bad w wE tag team. She's the man,
(04:45):
it's hooker and horror. That's agood My husband's he's the horror. I
don't know he's hooker and you're themanager whoreror Okay, hooker. I wanted
to know, is that not good? Eddie's better at that doesn't work?
That doesn't really work. So anyway, uh yeah. And then last year
was this white trash theme party andI and I have like several mullets wigs.
(05:08):
That was easy. Yeah, SoI threw that on, and I
threw a bunch of other stuff onand that I still went for comfort though,
because my white trash theme. Ihad American flag like weightlifter pants,
you know, like those super comfyalmost like the ones the guy on Napoleon
Dynamite at Rex quality. Yeah,so you know, like this again,
bad eighties wrestlers would wear these kindof things and they were so comfortable.
(05:30):
So again super And I had acors Light T shirt. Oh no,
course original obviously and just so againI am going comfort. Now. When
I find out that this gala banquetthing that I'm invited to you where I'm
gonna win this award, a veryprestigious award, I find out, no,
this is a fancy event. Thisis gonna be a big hotel ballroom,
(05:50):
like it's a full you know,sit down dinner awards banquet thing.
You gotta dress up, dress up, yeah, Eddie, fuck I don't.
I hate it. But you don'twant to tie? Yes, I
have a tie and I never untieit. It's it's still pret tired.
(06:15):
I don't know how to tie atie. I don't wear tis and so
the thought of like trying to figureout how to tie tie is in my
nightmare. And I don't. Andwhat's good about like the kind of newer
fashion is that most guys don't haveto wear TI or you can wear a
suit that's that's open button. Yeah, it was great. Now that being
said, though Eddie did wear jeansto a funeral. I'm not sure why
(06:39):
that's being brought up right now.You don't have asshole. I've told you
several times that I thought it was. It wasn't one. It was one
of my wife and uncles. AndI know a bunch of her cousins are
dirty, so I kind of thought, like, okay, these if I
(07:00):
wear a black button down, that'sfine, And that's what I had.
And I had a black button downbecause the funeral, Come on, bro,
And I compare that with jeans.Yeah, I think I'm good.
I like, I'll buy one ofthe best dressed guys there. And then
I show up and these motherfuckers wearingfull suits and ships. And then the
worst part was part you know itwas the worst part is that I guess
(07:25):
one of the cousins or something didn'tcome or got sick. I don't even
remember what it was. And theytagged me into be a pall bearer,
so he's carrying the casket. Ilearned. I learned my lesson. I'm
never gonna let that. Yeah,so now at least we know you have
something. I bought some slacks outyears ago. I forget what I'll never
(07:48):
forget when he came in and toldme, dude, yeah, okay,
so I'm not a dress up guy. I mean it takes a lot.
Even when I go out to fancydinner, I still wear like a nice
shirt and jeans because I just Ican't do it. I hate it,
and so it's not my thing.But whatever. And I what really fucking
sucks is that last year I foundout what the theme was and it was
(08:09):
right up my alley. It wasa tropical theme, so all the guys
were in like Hawaiian shirts and shortI have that and drinks rudy cocktails.
I'm like, what can we dothat again? I don't get a choice
in this. So when I foundout what the theme is, I don't
(08:33):
know what I'm gonna do. Like, I just went, what does that
even mean? I don't even knowwhat it means. So the theme for
this big Baseball gala is glitter andgold, glitter and gold as a man,
what does that mean? Because thefemales and you know, I feel
(08:56):
like you guys, I'm sorry,guy can't wear glitter, gold or gold.
I mean, yeah, this issuper number easy for chicks. I'm
like trying to process what a guywould wear and you could wear. I
could let you borrow my chain.He's gonna graphic. I don't think i'd
wear a graphic fancy then will you? Can you go as gold dust the
(09:24):
wrestler? Because that would sparkly gold? Doesn't he paint? He paints gold
and black all gold. Deborah couldhave a cell phone and walk behind you
with theme music. He was veryhome. He would other men's faces.
I'm not going to do that.So I told my friend Emily this and
(09:45):
she started laughing out loud at me. I was crying. Come on.
I don't. This is not fairto this is not fair to me.
This is my big moment. AndI got to find a gold shirt and
what the hell does that even?I don't think I made it any better
when Eddie was toasting his bagel andI had to get on Amazon right away
and write gold men's shirt and sawall they got silk like like what you
(10:09):
would see, you know, guyswearing maybe in hillcrest or something with the
deep button unbuttoned all the way toyour belly button. It's not my look.
It's not my look. So Idon't. I don't know. This
is not going to go well forme. I already know it, but
I did after Emily humiliated me.Yeah, I decided, all right,
well let me go on Amazon too, oh because I gotta find something.
(10:30):
Yeah, okay, I said onsomething guys, and I picked, Well,
I only have a few days.It's this Saturday, this week,
this is Saturday. Today's the dayyou got to order it. So I'm
like, I got it, youknow, one day, two day thing.
I gotta I gotta get on thisand figure this out. Options were
limited. Okay, I'm not gonnawear a long sleeve gold thing. That's
(10:52):
not me and I would be toohot. Silk is out. I'm sorry,
guys, I'm not that's not justthat's just not you want to silk
graphic tea. No, I don'tthink that's what I've chosen to wear.
Now, recognize the model in Thisis not exactly how I'm gonna wear this.
(11:13):
My inspiration is a wrestler, butit is not gold dust or I
feel like I'm gonna slightly look likeFinal Boss. Final. Oh that's a
great look. Final the Final Boss, the Rock when he is returned to
the w W Boss, he's allabout these crazy loud shirts and this is
(11:35):
like recently. Yes, it's hisbest gimmick he's ever had, and he
called himself the Final Boss. Hedrops f Bomb's live TV. He's amazing.
Guys, when you see this FinalBoss Eddie, don't don't you're you're
gonna see the model and you're notgonna understand it. Why this is not
how I'm gonna wear it. Thisis not how I'm gonna wear it,
(11:56):
Guys. This motherfucking don is wearingit unbuttoned. Oh my god, I
look at your alps. At lookat your alps. This won't be me.
But that's very final boss, right, that is very very gold and
silky, So it's not it's notyou have apps like that again. I'm
(12:18):
not gonna wear it unbuttoned like that. That's stupid. Now you're the final
captain. So that's my gold shirtthat I've decided to go with, which
I think is fancy. It isfancy. You have to go no shirt.
No again, you have to dothat. I'm not going to be
It would be fucking epic if youshowed up with an open shirt with no
(12:41):
shirt I don't know, it wouldbe the most epic ship ever. And
you don't give a fuck what anybodythinks. This is you gotta you gotta
shame. I don't know that.I don't know that I'm going to do
that. Sunglasses. You gotta wearsunglasses. You got to. I am
not the rock people on stage.She's adn't gonna war on. Can you
smell what Eddie is cooking? Okay, it's not good
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