May 17, 2024 • 27 mins
Kelly and Chip open their settings and reveal the results of how much time they spend on their phones and doing what. They also reveal astonishing stats about how time spent changes as we age and bring some options on doing things differently to live your actual most connected life.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey, Chip, I just sounded like my sister. That's how
she says it when I call her lit up.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Chip was about to sing you a song. So I
did a podcast on Wednesday that the intuitive told me
that she kept picturing me behind a microphone like emotionally
belting out a song, and she's like, I have now
done this reading with you. Now I'm doing this podcast
with you, and that is not leaving me. And I thought,
(00:30):
I said, I'm not a singer, though in fact, on
my Friday episodes with my co host, we try to
sing sometimes and we're terrible. You don't.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
I want to know something funny is I was Actually
I was in the studio yesterday with the band Lula
and ended up in the vocal booth doing gang vocals
on the chorus.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
What's a gang vocal similar to a gang bang?
Speaker 1 (00:51):
No? Well yeah, but everyone's singing, so it's like we
were the choir basically, so everyone that was happened to
be at the studio that at that time studio and
we sang harmonies.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Was she channeling your energy on me? Maybe I do
I need to do a gang vocal?
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Maybe we need to add you?
Speaker 2 (01:11):
I I was dying laughing every time she says that.
I'm like, I mean, I definitely think that I'm in
a phase of learning how to express so I could
see that, but like actually singing by myself behind a mic,
I mean sorry to the audience.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
And advance karaoke.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Yeah, but you know I don't even really like to
do that anymore.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Yeah, but that doesn't mean you won't.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
I guess not a shoot.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
So anyway, I'm always down.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
I'm just going to be singing for a week. My
homework is to sing a song by myself for five minutes,
just to like see what happens and see if it
opens anything up. So there you go.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
She gave you homework. Yes, oh wow.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
I love intuitives that give homework because it's been it's
like actually putting things, making things applicable in your life,
like actually putting them into practice.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Next week on the Velvet Edge, we're going to hear
the Day Be a single from.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Kelly Do you know what I? Do?
Speaker 1 (02:03):
You know what?
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Song? I did today? After that podcast, I was prepping
for some other stuff and then I was sitting in
front of my computer and I did Lisa Lobe stay.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Oh, I just added that to my karaoke list.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
For some reason, that has always been the one song.
When I was younger, I was like, maybe I kind
of sound like Lisa Lobe Like I thought maybe I could.
I think it's because I can stay on pitch with
her the whole entire time, Like I can hit all
the notes. Yeah, in my head, I sound just like her.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
It gets to be a bit tongue twistery at the end.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
I know every word. Yeah, I know the part you're
talking about though. Yeah, call me because you want me
and went to you let me go. Yeah, you try
to give away keep her anyway.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
That's a fun I got a fun little fact about
that song. It's the only independent Well it might that
this might not be a fact anymore because it's an
older song, but when it hit number one on the
pop chart, it was the first time an independent song
was number one on the pop chart because she wasn't
on a record label. Oh really, Yeah, that song was
on the Reality Bite soundtrack.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
Yes, that was how I got was put out.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Through a major label, but she wasn't signed yet. She
was Ethan Hawk's.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Neighbor, no way, Yeah, she.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Was his neighbor, and he put her on the soundtrack.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
My god, I used to love her.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
M hmm, I have that. I have her first album
on cassette. It's called the Purple Tape.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
That's what her cassette is called.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Yeah, because it was purple.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Oh oh my god, look at all these fun facts.
I didn't even know what I was opening Pandora's box
when I said, Lisa Lobe. Anyway, maybe i'll sing it
again later and I'll alwoice note it to you.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
My practice.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
That's not what we're actually here to talk about. We
actually both just did a really interesting experience experiment. So
if you are not driving, I would uh, does it
employ you? Is that how you say this? Poor implore?
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Wow?
Speaker 2 (03:54):
I knew that wasn't right, but my brain's a little
dead today. I would implore you to take out your
phone open if you have an iPhone, go to your settings.
Then what do I do, Chip, I'm already forget you.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Go to settings and look.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
At screen screen time.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Let me see if I can find out for those
Android users.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Android, Yes, if you're an Android user, So Chip texted
me and says, have you ever looked at your screen time?
Which of course I have, But now I choose to
live in denial. And not. But I'm kind of glad
you brought this back up to me because I do
feel like when I just let it free flow and
I'm not at all paying attention, it gets a little
(04:33):
out of hand. Did you want to, like tell us
some of your numbers?
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Chip, Yeah, so I was shocked. So my my daily
average is down this week to down twenty one percent
from last week to almost eight hours of use on
my phone seven hours and fifty one minutes.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
That's your daily after that's the average daily.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Yes, for yesterday, I was on my phone ten hours
in fifty three minutes one day calling to me.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Does that include phone calls?
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Probably, but it's not. I don't talk on the phone
that much. I don't even see where phone is on.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
I don't actually know that it does. That's what's making
it worse because it says see all app and website activity.
My daily average is seven hours and thirty two minutes.
That's on apps and websites. Yeah, what's your highest it like,
what's your highest category?
Speaker 1 (05:31):
My most used category is mess I message? So texting?
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Are you sure? Did you press the most?
Speaker 1 (05:40):
It's just it's so it's social.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Not social as well? Does that include messages.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
Yeah, gossages.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Messages fall into that. So oh, I spent a whopping
eleven seconds today on LinkedIn.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
I won't even have LinkedIn. What is your okay screen
time for social? What is yours for last week?
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Last week?
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Mine is shocking? I want to I don't even know
if I want to say it.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Oh my god, mine is I don't know if this
is collective. I don't know how to read it properly.
I'm looking at last week and it says eighteen hours
and sixteen minutes.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
But yeah, mine says seventeen hours and sixteen minutes. Crazy,
that must be total though, right of the week. Yeah,
my daily average is four hours and nineteen minutes.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Oh yeah, my daily average is four hours and thirty
four seconds.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Oh my god. So Chip and I got to talking
about this because we were just I mean, we comment
about this all the time on this podcast, of just
how we kind of feel like we float through this
world or we're not fully paying attention to things. We're
just like driving the bus, I'm going to work the
hustle of all the things. And you actually sent me
a really interesting article. There was a couple, but this
(06:53):
one post from Mel Robbins if you guys ever follow her,
but she's on Instagram. She said, on average, you will
spend two twenty years of your life just scrolling through
your phone. Imagine it's the end of your life and
someone says, would you like an extra twenty years and
your answer is nah, I'd rather have I'd rather have
spent twenty years scrolling mindlessly on my phone.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
I mean, it really puts it in perspective, like big time.
I know I use my phone a lot for work,
and I think so the text messaging has a lot
to do with work. But it's shocking to me the
differentiation between how much time I spend on email on
my phone versus text messaging. And you know, a lot
(07:37):
of work stuff.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
Now does well. We talked about that. I hate it.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
I hate texting for work, but you just have to.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
It just is what it is, just the world.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
That we live in now. But it's it's a huge
difference between mail and texting. I would imagine that I
just do more of the emailing on my computer, but
I also I am running around a lot. I'm not often
just sitting at my desk.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
That's why I think I was shocked by your numbers
because I feel like you're either driving or running around
pretty consistently.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Yeah, but I'm one of those bad people that is
on my phone a lot when I'm driving.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
I'm not a bad person. Don't talk about my friend
the way.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Well, I'm just like, it's not a smart thing to do,
and I recognize that, but I also do it, you know,
so I need to be better about it.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
Would you just say when you're driving when I'm driving, Yeah,
that's to be better about that.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Yeah, I have to be better about it.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
I just think that it's so fascinating because it's such
a I had a somatic therapist once tell me that
motion that I'm doing. The motion right now, you guys
have like the scroll, Like the way we move our
finger up and down on the phone when we're scrolling
is a way that we calm our nervous system, which
I found fascinating because really it's yes, it's a way
(08:48):
we disassociate. And so the social media people specifically are
so brilliant because they have learned how to tap into
our addictive brain in our nervous systems, and so we're
still there doing that scrolling motion after the like at
the end of a long day, or if you find
yourself doing it in between task or when you're on
the phone with someone and you like need to go
(09:09):
do that really your nervous system is like, I'm overloaded,
is what that's saying.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Thingfore, no, we've never done so it's something that we've
adapted to.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
What's what you do on your phone? So before like
when you only had MySpace on your computer, it was different,
but somehow, like that's how it's progressed in our society
now that we have such access to apps on our phone,
and that could be for dating apps, that could be anything.
It's like we always wonder why these things are so addictive.
There's obviously like the validation piece, you know, the reward
(09:39):
process that speaks to our brains and our nervous systems.
But I just thought that that's so interesting about that motion,
and so I have started to try, like if I
find myself having those days where I'm just not able
to not pick up my phone, I'm like, what is
going on? Like trying to ask yourself the deeper question.
(10:00):
But it's crazy how unconscious it is, you know, like
it's literally like that phantom even vibrate thing that happens
in the back pocket, or if you if you see
someone else pick up their phone and they're checking it,
like you have to check yours all of a sudden,
do you notice it.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
It's almost like an adult pacifier if you think about it,
because you know, when I walk in, if I'm like
early to a bar, a restaurant or something, it's like
my shield.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
Yeah, I can like look like.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
I'm not alone, I can disappear into something, and yeah,
I tell myself, oh, I can use this time to
get some stuff done.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
But if I look at the stats on my right.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
For the most part, I'm probably not doing shit that's
worth doing, you know. Yeah, so you know I I
have to change something like this is shocking to me.
This is the first time I've ever looked at like
I had to google how to figure it out. And
by the way, if you're an Android user, what you
would do is you open your device's settings app and
(10:56):
then tap Digital well Being and Parental Controls, and there's
charts that show you're ice us and then you should
throw away your phone again on my.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Phone, don't start in one of those green pegs. I
can't I can't hear that rant again. I will say,
there is something you can do on iPhones, And I
did have this set up for me for a while
where it was like, after an hour on your social media,
you would get it stops you. It like takes you
(11:25):
out of it, and it goes alert. You've been on
here for an hour. Let me tell you how fast
that comes in your day. There would be times where
I'm like, it's eight am, how am I already getting that?
Like right? And so anyway, I wouldn't necessarily follow the rules,
but it was something that I had in place that
did help me actually be conscious of it more.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
I mean, does it not lock you out of the
app until the next.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Day, No, you can just close it out.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
See, there must be some way, like because of with
the parental control, you might have to go a little
deeper because there are parental controls that you can literally
lock them out.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
I mean, you sound like such an addict right now,
though when you hear yourself.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
I mean no, truthfully, it's I would need something that
extreme because I would do exactly what you did. Ah
fuck it, Like in the same way that like when
my alarm goes off at six am, I hit snooze
for an hour.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
We'll tell about that stat.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
So I was like, wait a minute, why have I
used my clock more than I used email that day? Well,
because I like, I hit snooze for an hour and
so you're in your clock is open the whole time
that so it's from like six am to seven am.
The other day.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
I just can't The snooze thing is so bizarre to me.
I don't understand it because I'm like, just set your
alarm for seven, then.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
Why then I would hit snooze till eight.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
It's just such disrupted sleep, I guess, so I don't
feel rested after. It makes me feel worse if I'm.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
Trying to shift my daily habits so that I wake
up earlier so that I can get like a dog
walk in, some meditation, some journaling and the gym, but
all before work.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
But it's really I know, it's really hard to.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Shift that because I'm used to standing up really late,
and waking up at six is really hard. So I
have started Now I put my phone in the kitchen
and an alarm clock in the kitchen, so I have
to get out of bed to turn them off.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Yeah, and then once you're out, it's like you're up.
You might as well make a coffee while you're yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
Right, and then once I want and you know, after
a few days of this, it will start to form
a habit where it's a lot easier just to get
up at that time because I actually really love being
up in the morning. I also happen to love sleeping,
so if I can sleep later, I do. But this
was a short tail sign, Like that's really embarrassing. It's
shocking you were on your clock for an hour. Yeah,
(13:42):
so like what a lame app to be on the clock.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
It's like what you did.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Send me another post that I thought was really interesting
because it really breaks down because when we were talking
about let me backtrack for a second, when we were
talking about the phone. Then you were like, oh my god,
this is crazy. Think about all the time we're missing
with the people in our lives, like actually interacting with
real human beings, really truly connecting, not just disassociating or
(14:11):
thinking that being on social media is true connection. Like
we're missing relationships with the people in our lives. And
then you found this post. Do you want to read
it or do you want me to?
Speaker 1 (14:21):
You can start because there's several slides.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
So yeah, this is on tanks good news. But so
basically they're talking about how from the time we're born
until our death, there's different seasons that different relationships are
like priorities. So when you first start, obviously, like your
relationship with your parents and your siblings, like your immediate
(14:44):
family is high, but it peaks in childhood and then
it declines after the age of twenty. So the key
takeaways they say with this slide is time with family
is limited. Time with your parents declines sharply after age twenty.
You may only see your loved ones a few more times.
Prioritize and cherish every moment.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
I mean, it's wild you.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
Talk about that one a lot, because you don't. I
was talking about recently, like my parents are actually moving
to Nashville, and I'm so grateful because even if I
see them once a week, it's more than I'm like,
we're seeing them now twice a year, three times a year,
you know, like not very often on holidays. And it's like,
as everyone gets older, you start to really take that
into consideration of like, oh my gosh, there's not that
(15:28):
much times. If I keep on this routine of how
often I'm seeing them, there's not many times, and I'm
to see them.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Yeah, the closer the older we all get, the worse
it gets. And you know, you and I it's a
little different because we're both single without children, right, Like
I think about with my sister, who actually lives a
lot closer to my parents and because of that gets
to see them more often. But the older her kids
are getting, the more complicated it is for her to
carve time out to go see my parents, of course,
because she's got softball.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Games, running them around all.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
And running them around doctor's appointments, someone's sick, and she
doesn't want to get my parents sick and all of
the things. And there's you know, there's a million reasons.
Right Seeing this post and seeing the graph is actually,
like it's kind of heartbreaking when you think about it,
Like especially for people that move away, Like I haven't
lived where I grew up since i was eighteen years old, right,
(16:18):
so the amount of time that I've gotten to spend
with my parents is diminished because of that. So I,
you know, I do make a very concerted effort to
try and get home several times a year, and if
there's a work excuse for me to be close to
it like closer to home. I'll try and build in
a trip home, even if it's for one night, because
I know how much it means to them, and when
(16:39):
they're gone, it'll mean even more to me. You know
that I put in that effort.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
For sure, and you embrace the time you have with them.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
This one says time spent with friends peaks at eighteen
and declines sharply to decline sharply to a low baseline.
Key takeaways embrace friendship, Brett, but focus on deb up.
Cherish those who are with you through good and bad times.
Invest your energy and healthy, meaningful friendships that last.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
I mean, it's crazy because you know that one makes
a lot of sense when I look at it. But
as someone who's single, you know, and doesn't live in
the same town as my parents, my family.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Are my friendriends well, our friend is really good at
seeing each other right, And so.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
I don't know that that graph necessarily applies to me,
but I can see how in general it applies to
most people. Because you know, your life is pretty care
free until you're eighteen, and then you go off to
college and responsibilities set in and you're starting families of
your own and all those things. So time with friends
becomes less of a priority. But for me, you know,
(17:52):
if if I'm not with friends, I'm alone.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
Well right, me too, So my graph.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
Is a little different. Like granted, like i'd have to
quantify Wich friends because it would have to be very
different graphs. Like obviously my high school friends, that graph
really does apply to me, Yeah, because to speak to them.
And then I have New York friends and LA friends
and Nashville friends, and so I have I guess I
(18:17):
have different graphs, But I think that the key takeaway
for me there is is like to identify those that
you just can't live without and make sure to spend
as much time with or communicate with them as much
as possible.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
Well I like the depth, not Brett like it. I
do think as you get older or for me, that
this is how it's worked. I've started to not have
as many acquaintances per se, like in your twenties and stuff.
Remember I'd be like, oh, I just want to go out,
so who can I do that with? And it's like
you go up with the person who didn't barely even knew,
like it was just I don't know, we would just
hang out with different kinds of people. Now, I'm like,
(18:51):
if I'm giving effort into a relationship or time, because
none of us have that much of that because of
work and responsibilities and all the things you mentioned. I
do think I need it to be someone who I
genuinely have a connection with, who is pouring into me
as much as I'm pouring into them, that we could
actually talk about real shit. We're not just like going
and getting drunk together like you win in your twenties,
(19:12):
you know, like your relationships do change. But I do
think the depth piece is something to really consider as
you get older.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Yeah, times it with partner is the opposite, But that
actually goes to show if you're not happy in your
marriage or your relationship, like you're wasting a lot of
time because that trends upwards until death. So the key
takeaways there, he says, are, who you choose as your
partner is actually the most important decision you'll ever make.
Find someone you genuinely enjoy spending time with, never settle
(19:41):
for less than love.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Yeah, it's I mean, the end of that graph is
really sad too, because it's a steep drop off, which
means that dies death.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
Well, that's the inevitable that try is not happening, but
we all will die.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
It's also interesting too, sort of. I mean, I don't
know how where they got the graphs from, but the
really sharp endclines is between like twenty four and thirty.
I wonder if that's like that that's the window when
most people get married.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Probably, yeah, that's you're right, because it rises a lot. Yeah,
it's probably like look like that. That's okay, though, everyone's
on their own journey. I've spent with children peaks in
your thirties, so that's I guess when people are having
kids more decline sharply thereafter time with your children is short.
Say that's the opposite of the parents. Obviously, slow down
(20:34):
and embrace the sweetness that children bring to your life.
Co workers, this is an interesting one. Steady during the
prime working years from twenty to sixty. But you spent
a lot of time with your coworkers.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Yes, it's the longest relationships that you have, really crazy
who the most steady? I guess.
Speaker 3 (20:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
Who you choose to work with is one of the
most important decisions you'll make as well. Find work and
coworkers that create energy in your life. We have an
interesting thing there too, though, because literally we work with
our best friends.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
True.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Yeah, And that's how my friends have become my friends
is from work.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Yeah. And depending on where you live, you might not
have as many options of you know, what you get
to do or or who you get to work with.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
True.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
So we're a bit of an anomaly there. But that said,
I think if you are able to choose to do
something that you love, you're probably going to end up
finding like minded people that you're going to get along with.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Really. Well, Time's been Alone was a little weird too.
It says it steadily increases throughout your life, which if
you really think about, is true. And my mom has
always said this, like the older you get, the more
clear it becomes. You remember, you came into this world alone,
and you're going to actually leave alone too, even if
(21:53):
you're surrounded by loved ones. Like, it's an experience that
we all go through by ourselves.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
Right.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
So he says, learn to a solitude, flexure, boredom, muscle, regularly,
find happiness and joy in the time you have to yourself.
There will be a whole lot of it as you
get older. So in summary, one family time is limited. Chairshit. Two.
Friend time is limited. Prioritize real ones. Three partner time
is significant, never settle for children. Time is precious, be present.
(22:22):
Five coworker time is significant. Find energy. Six alone time
is highest. Love yourself, damn and don't get off your phone.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
Get off your phones.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
I mean, those are two a little bit separate topics
that at the point we're trying to make here is
like it really is starting to dawn on us how
unconscious we're moving through our lives sometimes and how much
time we're wasting on things that actually don't matter to us.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
Well, you know, when you think about like the lifetime
of humanity and how new these like phones being in
our hands and having everything touch of a button is,
you know, on that graph, it's such a small amount
of time. So we really don't know the shift that
this is going to have in humanity. And you know,
(23:10):
it feels like we're really connected because we're on Instagram
and Facebook and all the things that you know are
meant or designed to connect us, but we're really isolating ourselves.
You know. I do think there are lots of benefits
to it, too, Like I can stay in touch with
friends that live in Europe of course because of this device,
and it makes it a lot easier than mailing a
letter and hoping it gets there one day. But I
(23:34):
think that the the major takeaway is that it's it's
a net loss of these things. You know, they might
make us a little bit more productive, but I think
they make us more isolated than connected.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Because I was thinking you said, so much of your
time is spent texting, and like, even with work stuff,
how often are you actually in a bad mood but
you're texting like you're not? You know, so you're not
actually being true. It's like when you're experience a person
in real life or even on the phone, you can
hear tone of voice, you can hear like you just
read energy better than you can do to like just
(24:11):
a text right totally, So.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
You can push and you can push down your emotions too,
when you actually probably need to sit in them for
a minute and feel them and work through them and
work through whatever it is it's putting you in that mood.
But you have to like be on and getting your
job done and all the things, or planning your night
out or whatever it is that you're doing, right, But
(24:36):
you know, to lean into my word of the Year,
which was explore, Like I am. I need to sit
down and do some deep digging and figure out what
I'm gonna do to buy myself some more time for
me because these dating apps I like every time I'm
on them, like it's there. I don't find them beneficial, Like,
but I feel like I'm doing something. I feel like
(24:58):
I'm searching for my somebody. But I would probably be
better off like volunteering somewhere or even out at a bar,
like forcing myself through the discostctivity, yeah, or doing an activity,
joining a sports team with some gay gaze, you know,
like sports ball, just doing something where I'm interacting with
(25:19):
people in a real way versus just putting myself in
like a window to be shopped, you know.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
Yeah, I used to when I was on apps, I
would set a limit, like I would set the timer
for ten minutes in the morning, and then I would
do ten minutes at night. That's all I would do,
because to me, it is the same thing as social media,
and I was like, I do not I do not
need another thing where I'm just scrolling and scrolling and scrolling.
I also found that the days where I wouldn't do that,
and I would let myself scroll, I would get so
depressed because it would like you, if you're continuing to scroll,
(25:50):
you're obviously not seeing anything you want, and you're looking
for some sort of proof that that someone could be
out there. So it's like depressing if you're not finding it,
you know.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
Yeah, yeah, and it's yeah, I think it's a self
fulfilling prophecy. It's east most of the time you're not
finding someone, right, you know, like literally ninety percent of
the time. Yeah, not really working for you. And then
you're like, well, fuck, I just wasted two hours. And sure,
you know, at least like if you're at a bar
(26:21):
and you don't meet somebody, you probably had fun. You
might have had some good conversations and had a couple
drinks or whatever. I don't know, I need to change
some shit up in my life. Is all based on
these statistics of my phone.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
So basically, we are are just inviting you guys to
go check your screen time like we did, give it
a fascinating experience, and let us know what you come
across too, Like I just want to I think I
am going to set the timer again for my social
media just so it goes off because I am trying
to be more active on there for work purposes, but
I also don't need to fully scroll all the time,
(26:56):
like I'm just finding myself doing it and it's basically
a waste of time. So yeah, yeah, that's my new thing.
If you guys do try it and you want to
let us know, you can always email us at the
Edge at velvestedge dot com, or you can hit us
up on the voicemail send us some voicemails.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
We're ready.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
You can find that on my Instagram in the link
at the bio. It is at Velvet's Edge Chip.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
I'm at Chip door shot CHP d O R S
C H.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
And as you guys are going into the weekend and
you're living on the edge, I was gonna try to
be cute, but I stop my phone. If you're living,
hopefully not living on your phone, I hope you always
remember to
Speaker 3 (27:37):
A casual bye bye
Hey, Chip, I just sounded like my sister. That's how
she says it when I call her lit up.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Chip was about to sing you a song. So I
did a podcast on Wednesday that the intuitive told me
that she kept picturing me behind a microphone like emotionally
belting out a song, and she's like, I have now
done this reading with you. Now I'm doing this podcast
with you, and that is not leaving me. And I thought,
(00:30):
I said, I'm not a singer, though in fact, on
my Friday episodes with my co host, we try to
sing sometimes and we're terrible. You don't.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
I want to know something funny is I was Actually
I was in the studio yesterday with the band Lula
and ended up in the vocal booth doing gang vocals
on the chorus.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
What's a gang vocal similar to a gang bang?
Speaker 1 (00:51):
No? Well yeah, but everyone's singing, so it's like we
were the choir basically, so everyone that was happened to
be at the studio that at that time studio and
we sang harmonies.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Was she channeling your energy on me? Maybe I do
I need to do a gang vocal?
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Maybe we need to add you?
Speaker 2 (01:11):
I I was dying laughing every time she says that.
I'm like, I mean, I definitely think that I'm in
a phase of learning how to express so I could
see that, but like actually singing by myself behind a mic,
I mean sorry to the audience.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
And advance karaoke.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Yeah, but you know I don't even really like to
do that anymore.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Yeah, but that doesn't mean you won't.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
I guess not a shoot.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
So anyway, I'm always down.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
I'm just going to be singing for a week. My
homework is to sing a song by myself for five minutes,
just to like see what happens and see if it
opens anything up. So there you go.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
She gave you homework. Yes, oh wow.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
I love intuitives that give homework because it's been it's
like actually putting things, making things applicable in your life,
like actually putting them into practice.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Next week on the Velvet Edge, we're going to hear
the Day Be a single from.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Kelly Do you know what I? Do?
Speaker 1 (02:03):
You know what?
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Song? I did today? After that podcast, I was prepping
for some other stuff and then I was sitting in
front of my computer and I did Lisa Lobe stay.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Oh, I just added that to my karaoke list.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
For some reason, that has always been the one song.
When I was younger, I was like, maybe I kind
of sound like Lisa Lobe Like I thought maybe I could.
I think it's because I can stay on pitch with
her the whole entire time, Like I can hit all
the notes. Yeah, in my head, I sound just like her.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
It gets to be a bit tongue twistery at the end.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
I know every word. Yeah, I know the part you're
talking about though. Yeah, call me because you want me
and went to you let me go. Yeah, you try
to give away keep her anyway.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
That's a fun I got a fun little fact about
that song. It's the only independent Well it might that
this might not be a fact anymore because it's an
older song, but when it hit number one on the
pop chart, it was the first time an independent song
was number one on the pop chart because she wasn't
on a record label. Oh really, Yeah, that song was
on the Reality Bite soundtrack.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
Yes, that was how I got was put out.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Through a major label, but she wasn't signed yet. She
was Ethan Hawk's.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Neighbor, no way, Yeah, she.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Was his neighbor, and he put her on the soundtrack.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
My god, I used to love her.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
M hmm, I have that. I have her first album
on cassette. It's called the Purple Tape.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
That's what her cassette is called.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Yeah, because it was purple.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Oh oh my god, look at all these fun facts.
I didn't even know what I was opening Pandora's box
when I said, Lisa Lobe. Anyway, maybe i'll sing it
again later and I'll alwoice note it to you.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
My practice.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
That's not what we're actually here to talk about. We
actually both just did a really interesting experience experiment. So
if you are not driving, I would uh, does it
employ you? Is that how you say this? Poor implore?
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Wow?
Speaker 2 (03:54):
I knew that wasn't right, but my brain's a little
dead today. I would implore you to take out your
phone open if you have an iPhone, go to your settings.
Then what do I do, Chip, I'm already forget you.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Go to settings and look.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
At screen screen time.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Let me see if I can find out for those
Android users.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Android, Yes, if you're an Android user, So Chip texted
me and says, have you ever looked at your screen time?
Which of course I have, But now I choose to
live in denial. And not. But I'm kind of glad
you brought this back up to me because I do
feel like when I just let it free flow and
I'm not at all paying attention, it gets a little
(04:33):
out of hand. Did you want to, like tell us
some of your numbers?
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Chip, Yeah, so I was shocked. So my my daily
average is down this week to down twenty one percent
from last week to almost eight hours of use on
my phone seven hours and fifty one minutes.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
That's your daily after that's the average daily.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Yes, for yesterday, I was on my phone ten hours
in fifty three minutes one day calling to me.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Does that include phone calls?
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Probably, but it's not. I don't talk on the phone
that much. I don't even see where phone is on.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
I don't actually know that it does. That's what's making
it worse because it says see all app and website activity.
My daily average is seven hours and thirty two minutes.
That's on apps and websites. Yeah, what's your highest it like,
what's your highest category?
Speaker 1 (05:31):
My most used category is mess I message? So texting?
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Are you sure? Did you press the most?
Speaker 1 (05:40):
It's just it's so it's social.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Not social as well? Does that include messages.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
Yeah, gossages.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Messages fall into that. So oh, I spent a whopping
eleven seconds today on LinkedIn.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
I won't even have LinkedIn. What is your okay screen
time for social? What is yours for last week?
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Last week?
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Mine is shocking? I want to I don't even know
if I want to say it.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Oh my god, mine is I don't know if this
is collective. I don't know how to read it properly.
I'm looking at last week and it says eighteen hours
and sixteen minutes.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
But yeah, mine says seventeen hours and sixteen minutes. Crazy,
that must be total though, right of the week. Yeah,
my daily average is four hours and nineteen minutes.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Oh yeah, my daily average is four hours and thirty
four seconds.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Oh my god. So Chip and I got to talking
about this because we were just I mean, we comment
about this all the time on this podcast, of just
how we kind of feel like we float through this
world or we're not fully paying attention to things. We're
just like driving the bus, I'm going to work the
hustle of all the things. And you actually sent me
a really interesting article. There was a couple, but this
(06:53):
one post from Mel Robbins if you guys ever follow her,
but she's on Instagram. She said, on average, you will
spend two twenty years of your life just scrolling through
your phone. Imagine it's the end of your life and
someone says, would you like an extra twenty years and
your answer is nah, I'd rather have I'd rather have
spent twenty years scrolling mindlessly on my phone.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
I mean, it really puts it in perspective, like big time.
I know I use my phone a lot for work,
and I think so the text messaging has a lot
to do with work. But it's shocking to me the
differentiation between how much time I spend on email on
my phone versus text messaging. And you know, a lot
(07:37):
of work stuff.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
Now does well. We talked about that. I hate it.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
I hate texting for work, but you just have to.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
It just is what it is, just the world.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
That we live in now. But it's it's a huge
difference between mail and texting. I would imagine that I
just do more of the emailing on my computer, but
I also I am running around a lot. I'm not often
just sitting at my desk.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
That's why I think I was shocked by your numbers
because I feel like you're either driving or running around
pretty consistently.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Yeah, but I'm one of those bad people that is
on my phone a lot when I'm driving.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
I'm not a bad person. Don't talk about my friend
the way.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Well, I'm just like, it's not a smart thing to do,
and I recognize that, but I also do it, you know,
so I need to be better about it.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
Would you just say when you're driving when I'm driving, Yeah,
that's to be better about that.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Yeah, I have to be better about it.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
I just think that it's so fascinating because it's such
a I had a somatic therapist once tell me that
motion that I'm doing. The motion right now, you guys
have like the scroll, Like the way we move our
finger up and down on the phone when we're scrolling
is a way that we calm our nervous system, which
I found fascinating because really it's yes, it's a way
(08:48):
we disassociate. And so the social media people specifically are
so brilliant because they have learned how to tap into
our addictive brain in our nervous systems, and so we're
still there doing that scrolling motion after the like at
the end of a long day, or if you find
yourself doing it in between task or when you're on
the phone with someone and you like need to go
(09:09):
do that really your nervous system is like, I'm overloaded,
is what that's saying.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Thingfore, no, we've never done so it's something that we've
adapted to.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
What's what you do on your phone? So before like
when you only had MySpace on your computer, it was different,
but somehow, like that's how it's progressed in our society
now that we have such access to apps on our phone,
and that could be for dating apps, that could be anything.
It's like we always wonder why these things are so addictive.
There's obviously like the validation piece, you know, the reward
(09:39):
process that speaks to our brains and our nervous systems.
But I just thought that that's so interesting about that motion,
and so I have started to try, like if I
find myself having those days where I'm just not able
to not pick up my phone, I'm like, what is
going on? Like trying to ask yourself the deeper question.
(10:00):
But it's crazy how unconscious it is, you know, like
it's literally like that phantom even vibrate thing that happens
in the back pocket, or if you if you see
someone else pick up their phone and they're checking it,
like you have to check yours all of a sudden,
do you notice it.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
It's almost like an adult pacifier if you think about it,
because you know, when I walk in, if I'm like
early to a bar, a restaurant or something, it's like
my shield.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
Yeah, I can like look like.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
I'm not alone, I can disappear into something, and yeah,
I tell myself, oh, I can use this time to
get some stuff done.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
But if I look at the stats on my right.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
For the most part, I'm probably not doing shit that's
worth doing, you know. Yeah, so you know I I
have to change something like this is shocking to me.
This is the first time I've ever looked at like
I had to google how to figure it out. And
by the way, if you're an Android user, what you
would do is you open your device's settings app and
(10:56):
then tap Digital well Being and Parental Controls, and there's
charts that show you're ice us and then you should
throw away your phone again on my.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Phone, don't start in one of those green pegs. I
can't I can't hear that rant again. I will say,
there is something you can do on iPhones, And I
did have this set up for me for a while
where it was like, after an hour on your social media,
you would get it stops you. It like takes you
(11:25):
out of it, and it goes alert. You've been on
here for an hour. Let me tell you how fast
that comes in your day. There would be times where
I'm like, it's eight am, how am I already getting that?
Like right? And so anyway, I wouldn't necessarily follow the rules,
but it was something that I had in place that
did help me actually be conscious of it more.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
I mean, does it not lock you out of the
app until the next.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Day, No, you can just close it out.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
See, there must be some way, like because of with
the parental control, you might have to go a little
deeper because there are parental controls that you can literally
lock them out.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
I mean, you sound like such an addict right now,
though when you hear yourself.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
I mean no, truthfully, it's I would need something that
extreme because I would do exactly what you did. Ah
fuck it, Like in the same way that like when
my alarm goes off at six am, I hit snooze
for an hour.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
We'll tell about that stat.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
So I was like, wait a minute, why have I
used my clock more than I used email that day? Well,
because I like, I hit snooze for an hour and
so you're in your clock is open the whole time
that so it's from like six am to seven am.
The other day.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
I just can't The snooze thing is so bizarre to me.
I don't understand it because I'm like, just set your
alarm for seven, then.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
Why then I would hit snooze till eight.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
It's just such disrupted sleep, I guess, so I don't
feel rested after. It makes me feel worse if I'm.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
Trying to shift my daily habits so that I wake
up earlier so that I can get like a dog
walk in, some meditation, some journaling and the gym, but
all before work.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
But it's really I know, it's really hard to.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Shift that because I'm used to standing up really late,
and waking up at six is really hard. So I
have started Now I put my phone in the kitchen
and an alarm clock in the kitchen, so I have
to get out of bed to turn them off.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Yeah, and then once you're out, it's like you're up.
You might as well make a coffee while you're yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
Right, and then once I want and you know, after
a few days of this, it will start to form
a habit where it's a lot easier just to get
up at that time because I actually really love being
up in the morning. I also happen to love sleeping,
so if I can sleep later, I do. But this
was a short tail sign, Like that's really embarrassing. It's
shocking you were on your clock for an hour. Yeah,
(13:42):
so like what a lame app to be on the clock.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
It's like what you did.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Send me another post that I thought was really interesting
because it really breaks down because when we were talking
about let me backtrack for a second, when we were
talking about the phone. Then you were like, oh my god,
this is crazy. Think about all the time we're missing
with the people in our lives, like actually interacting with
real human beings, really truly connecting, not just disassociating or
(14:11):
thinking that being on social media is true connection. Like
we're missing relationships with the people in our lives. And
then you found this post. Do you want to read
it or do you want me to?
Speaker 1 (14:21):
You can start because there's several slides.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
So yeah, this is on tanks good news. But so
basically they're talking about how from the time we're born
until our death, there's different seasons that different relationships are
like priorities. So when you first start, obviously, like your
relationship with your parents and your siblings, like your immediate
(14:44):
family is high, but it peaks in childhood and then
it declines after the age of twenty. So the key
takeaways they say with this slide is time with family
is limited. Time with your parents declines sharply after age twenty.
You may only see your loved ones a few more times.
Prioritize and cherish every moment.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
I mean, it's wild you.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
Talk about that one a lot, because you don't. I
was talking about recently, like my parents are actually moving
to Nashville, and I'm so grateful because even if I
see them once a week, it's more than I'm like,
we're seeing them now twice a year, three times a year,
you know, like not very often on holidays. And it's like,
as everyone gets older, you start to really take that
into consideration of like, oh my gosh, there's not that
(15:28):
much times. If I keep on this routine of how
often I'm seeing them, there's not many times, and I'm
to see them.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Yeah, the closer the older we all get, the worse
it gets. And you know, you and I it's a
little different because we're both single without children, right, Like
I think about with my sister, who actually lives a
lot closer to my parents and because of that gets
to see them more often. But the older her kids
are getting, the more complicated it is for her to
carve time out to go see my parents, of course,
because she's got softball.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Games, running them around all.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
And running them around doctor's appointments, someone's sick, and she
doesn't want to get my parents sick and all of
the things. And there's you know, there's a million reasons.
Right Seeing this post and seeing the graph is actually,
like it's kind of heartbreaking when you think about it,
Like especially for people that move away, Like I haven't
lived where I grew up since i was eighteen years old, right,
(16:18):
so the amount of time that I've gotten to spend
with my parents is diminished because of that. So I,
you know, I do make a very concerted effort to
try and get home several times a year, and if
there's a work excuse for me to be close to
it like closer to home. I'll try and build in
a trip home, even if it's for one night, because
I know how much it means to them, and when
(16:39):
they're gone, it'll mean even more to me. You know
that I put in that effort.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
For sure, and you embrace the time you have with them.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
This one says time spent with friends peaks at eighteen
and declines sharply to decline sharply to a low baseline.
Key takeaways embrace friendship, Brett, but focus on deb up.
Cherish those who are with you through good and bad times.
Invest your energy and healthy, meaningful friendships that last.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
I mean, it's crazy because you know that one makes
a lot of sense when I look at it. But
as someone who's single, you know, and doesn't live in
the same town as my parents, my family.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Are my friendriends well, our friend is really good at
seeing each other right, And so.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
I don't know that that graph necessarily applies to me,
but I can see how in general it applies to
most people. Because you know, your life is pretty care
free until you're eighteen, and then you go off to
college and responsibilities set in and you're starting families of
your own and all those things. So time with friends
becomes less of a priority. But for me, you know,
(17:52):
if if I'm not with friends, I'm alone.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
Well right, me too, So my graph.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
Is a little different. Like granted, like i'd have to
quantify Wich friends because it would have to be very
different graphs. Like obviously my high school friends, that graph
really does apply to me, Yeah, because to speak to them.
And then I have New York friends and LA friends
and Nashville friends, and so I have I guess I
(18:17):
have different graphs, But I think that the key takeaway
for me there is is like to identify those that
you just can't live without and make sure to spend
as much time with or communicate with them as much
as possible.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
Well I like the depth, not Brett like it. I
do think as you get older or for me, that
this is how it's worked. I've started to not have
as many acquaintances per se, like in your twenties and stuff.
Remember I'd be like, oh, I just want to go out,
so who can I do that with? And it's like
you go up with the person who didn't barely even knew,
like it was just I don't know, we would just
hang out with different kinds of people. Now, I'm like,
(18:51):
if I'm giving effort into a relationship or time, because
none of us have that much of that because of
work and responsibilities and all the things you mentioned. I
do think I need it to be someone who I
genuinely have a connection with, who is pouring into me
as much as I'm pouring into them, that we could
actually talk about real shit. We're not just like going
and getting drunk together like you win in your twenties,
(19:12):
you know, like your relationships do change. But I do
think the depth piece is something to really consider as
you get older.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Yeah, times it with partner is the opposite, But that
actually goes to show if you're not happy in your
marriage or your relationship, like you're wasting a lot of
time because that trends upwards until death. So the key
takeaways there, he says, are, who you choose as your
partner is actually the most important decision you'll ever make.
Find someone you genuinely enjoy spending time with, never settle
(19:41):
for less than love.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Yeah, it's I mean, the end of that graph is
really sad too, because it's a steep drop off, which
means that dies death.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
Well, that's the inevitable that try is not happening, but
we all will die.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
It's also interesting too, sort of. I mean, I don't
know how where they got the graphs from, but the
really sharp endclines is between like twenty four and thirty.
I wonder if that's like that that's the window when
most people get married.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Probably, yeah, that's you're right, because it rises a lot. Yeah,
it's probably like look like that. That's okay, though, everyone's
on their own journey. I've spent with children peaks in
your thirties, so that's I guess when people are having
kids more decline sharply thereafter time with your children is short.
Say that's the opposite of the parents. Obviously, slow down
(20:34):
and embrace the sweetness that children bring to your life.
Co workers, this is an interesting one. Steady during the
prime working years from twenty to sixty. But you spent
a lot of time with your coworkers.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Yes, it's the longest relationships that you have, really crazy
who the most steady? I guess.
Speaker 3 (20:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
Who you choose to work with is one of the
most important decisions you'll make as well. Find work and
coworkers that create energy in your life. We have an
interesting thing there too, though, because literally we work with
our best friends.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
True.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Yeah, And that's how my friends have become my friends
is from work.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Yeah. And depending on where you live, you might not
have as many options of you know, what you get
to do or or who you get to work with.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
True.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
So we're a bit of an anomaly there. But that said,
I think if you are able to choose to do
something that you love, you're probably going to end up
finding like minded people that you're going to get along with.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Really. Well, Time's been Alone was a little weird too.
It says it steadily increases throughout your life, which if
you really think about, is true. And my mom has
always said this, like the older you get, the more
clear it becomes. You remember, you came into this world alone,
and you're going to actually leave alone too, even if
(21:53):
you're surrounded by loved ones. Like, it's an experience that
we all go through by ourselves.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
Right.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
So he says, learn to a solitude, flexure, boredom, muscle, regularly,
find happiness and joy in the time you have to yourself.
There will be a whole lot of it as you
get older. So in summary, one family time is limited. Chairshit. Two.
Friend time is limited. Prioritize real ones. Three partner time
is significant, never settle for children. Time is precious, be present.
(22:22):
Five coworker time is significant. Find energy. Six alone time
is highest. Love yourself, damn and don't get off your phone.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
Get off your phones.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
I mean, those are two a little bit separate topics
that at the point we're trying to make here is
like it really is starting to dawn on us how
unconscious we're moving through our lives sometimes and how much
time we're wasting on things that actually don't matter to us.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
Well, you know, when you think about like the lifetime
of humanity and how new these like phones being in
our hands and having everything touch of a button is,
you know, on that graph, it's such a small amount
of time. So we really don't know the shift that
this is going to have in humanity. And you know,
(23:10):
it feels like we're really connected because we're on Instagram
and Facebook and all the things that you know are
meant or designed to connect us, but we're really isolating ourselves.
You know. I do think there are lots of benefits
to it, too, Like I can stay in touch with
friends that live in Europe of course because of this device,
and it makes it a lot easier than mailing a
letter and hoping it gets there one day. But I
(23:34):
think that the the major takeaway is that it's it's
a net loss of these things. You know, they might
make us a little bit more productive, but I think
they make us more isolated than connected.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Because I was thinking you said, so much of your
time is spent texting, and like, even with work stuff,
how often are you actually in a bad mood but
you're texting like you're not? You know, so you're not
actually being true. It's like when you're experience a person
in real life or even on the phone, you can
hear tone of voice, you can hear like you just
read energy better than you can do to like just
(24:11):
a text right totally, So.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
You can push and you can push down your emotions too,
when you actually probably need to sit in them for
a minute and feel them and work through them and
work through whatever it is it's putting you in that mood.
But you have to like be on and getting your
job done and all the things, or planning your night
out or whatever it is that you're doing, right, But
(24:36):
you know, to lean into my word of the Year,
which was explore, Like I am. I need to sit
down and do some deep digging and figure out what
I'm gonna do to buy myself some more time for
me because these dating apps I like every time I'm
on them, like it's there. I don't find them beneficial, Like,
but I feel like I'm doing something. I feel like
(24:58):
I'm searching for my somebody. But I would probably be
better off like volunteering somewhere or even out at a bar,
like forcing myself through the discostctivity, yeah, or doing an activity,
joining a sports team with some gay gaze, you know,
like sports ball, just doing something where I'm interacting with
(25:19):
people in a real way versus just putting myself in
like a window to be shopped, you know.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
Yeah, I used to when I was on apps, I
would set a limit, like I would set the timer
for ten minutes in the morning, and then I would
do ten minutes at night. That's all I would do,
because to me, it is the same thing as social media,
and I was like, I do not I do not
need another thing where I'm just scrolling and scrolling and scrolling.
I also found that the days where I wouldn't do that,
and I would let myself scroll, I would get so
depressed because it would like you, if you're continuing to scroll,
(25:50):
you're obviously not seeing anything you want, and you're looking
for some sort of proof that that someone could be
out there. So it's like depressing if you're not finding it,
you know.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
Yeah, yeah, and it's yeah, I think it's a self
fulfilling prophecy. It's east most of the time you're not
finding someone, right, you know, like literally ninety percent of
the time. Yeah, not really working for you. And then
you're like, well, fuck, I just wasted two hours. And sure,
you know, at least like if you're at a bar
(26:21):
and you don't meet somebody, you probably had fun. You
might have had some good conversations and had a couple
drinks or whatever. I don't know, I need to change
some shit up in my life. Is all based on
these statistics of my phone.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
So basically, we are are just inviting you guys to
go check your screen time like we did, give it
a fascinating experience, and let us know what you come
across too, Like I just want to I think I
am going to set the timer again for my social
media just so it goes off because I am trying
to be more active on there for work purposes, but
I also don't need to fully scroll all the time,
(26:56):
like I'm just finding myself doing it and it's basically
a waste of time. So yeah, yeah, that's my new thing.
If you guys do try it and you want to
let us know, you can always email us at the
Edge at velvestedge dot com, or you can hit us
up on the voicemail send us some voicemails.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
We're ready.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
You can find that on my Instagram in the link
at the bio. It is at Velvet's Edge Chip.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
I'm at Chip door shot CHP d O R S
C H.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
And as you guys are going into the weekend and
you're living on the edge, I was gonna try to
be cute, but I stop my phone. If you're living,
hopefully not living on your phone, I hope you always
remember to
Speaker 3 (27:37):
A casual bye bye
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