June 27, 2019 • 8 mins
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
What's up? What's up? It's the breakfast Club. I'm angela yee.
That's Charlemagne. Envy is gone from the building, and it's
time for as when a hundred five five one oh
five one. Now we have Anonymous on the line. What's
up Anonymous? Hello? What's up? Money? What's the problem this morning?
For asy? So I am trying to figure out when
I should just go ahead and start the divorce process
(00:22):
with my husband. Okay, what's going on? So I found
out that he was cheating, um, Instagram, this, buck Snapchat,
downloading apps that had no idea about, and like a
month before he was like asking like let's have a baby,
let's do this, let's do that, And then like towards
the end of the month, I found out he was
(00:43):
cheating and talking to several different women women and um,
once I found out, like I approached them about it,
like hey, what's going on and talk to me? And
then like it's almost July and he's still doing whatever
he wants. He doesn't care, okay, don't care about our children,
and so there's no salvaging this. So you're ready to leave.
(01:03):
I am ready to leave. It's just like he's making
it seem like he just needs time and he's going
through a lot, but he doesn't want to seek therapy. Um,
he just is not doing anything and he wants to
like pretend everything cool was actually committing to, like being
a father or being mayored. Okay, So I would say
(01:24):
these things. First of all, make sure you get yourself
a good divorce lawyer. Make sure that you have everything
in order on your end, and you need to find
out what it is that you need so that when
you have a divorce. They are so messy. Sometimes things
happen that are unexpected. Obviously you never expected your husband
to even act this way, so you don't know what
he might do when it comes to custody of the kids,
when it comes to finances. Did you'll have a prenup? Okay?
(01:48):
So you need to find out what your options are
and find out what you need to do right now
to prepare for this. So when it's time bang, at
least you have all your paperwork ready to go. And
I will say that clearly you've given this man chances.
Clearly he's you know, being very selfish. He's not trying
to seek help. I don't know what his issues are,
but you gotta put yourself first. A lot of times
(02:08):
we care more about what is this other person, think
what is this gonna do to your family? But it's
really tearing your family apart now staying with him. So
you think I should just like go ahead and get
I think you need to get your stuff in order,
and I think you should definitely consult with a divorce
lawyer so you know what your options are so when
it comes time, because it seems like he's not taking
(02:29):
it seriously. He thinks that you're gonna be there forever,
and he's putting you at risk. He's putting the family
at risk, he's putting your health at risk. So I
think you need to get your ducks in order so
that you're financially ready, so that you're emotionally ready, so
that you're legally ready to walk away. Now, if something
amazing happens and you decide to stay, you can always
do that, but at least gets your stuff together. Alright, alright, Anonymous,
(02:56):
I'm sorry this is happening to you. Also know that's okay,
thank you. All right, So that is asked five one
oh five one. We are taking your cause right now.
Call us up and let me know what your question is.
It's the breakfast club. What's up is? Ask you? If
you need help, you can also email me help me
ye at gmail dot com. Now we have another anonymous
caller on the line. Now, what is your question for?
(03:17):
Asked you today? Um? First off, I love you guys.
I just wanted to get that out. Okay, we love
you too, for sure. So back when I was about six, um,
my uncle he was about probably fourteen at the time. Um,
he molested me. He did certain things that he knows,
(03:37):
he knows that you know, wasn't right. And now I
and I have my own life going on. I have
two sons, I'm married, and he reached out to me
recently and you know, just try to talk to me.
I ignored the message he sent me. It was just, hey,
how are you type of a thing? And I told
(03:57):
nobody but only my wife and I kind of have
anxiety and I get the pressed easily now that you know,
he has re entered my life in the way, and
I'm just kind of curious on what I should do
if I suggest, you know, flat I ignoring him or
you know what, Oh my god, this is a lot
(04:17):
and I don't want to give you wrong information. But
I will say, have you sought help? I know you
said the only person you've spoken to is your wife,
but have you sought professional help. It's funny you said
that I started therapy not to work girl, because I
attempted suicide and my brother came over and helped me
(04:39):
and talked me out of it. It's just it was
so much at the at the time, it was so
much going on in my life. My sons were in
the room and I it was just a lot. And
immediately after that he set me up with therapy, and
I've kind of I'm not been so anxious and had
(05:00):
so much anxiety a lot more now, but it's it's
just been a lot on my plate and him coming
back into my life and just added to it. Have
you ever confronted him about it? No? No, like ever
since that happened. I mean, and that was I never
had contact with him up until now. Okay, So I
do want you to continue your therapy because I feel
(05:22):
like that would be really beneficial to you because I
feel like there's things you need to come to terms
with yourself, you know, to know that this is not
your fault, to know that you didn't do anything wrong
to know that this person, even though he's a family member,
is a predator and is a disgusting human being, whatever
the reasons that are. You can't ever feel like there's
an explanation for what he did. You can't never feel like, Okay,
(05:44):
well this happened to him, he was abused. No, it's
still wrong. It's dead wrong. And I do feel like
you have to keep on continuing to get the help
for yourself. Have you told anybody else in your family yet? No,
I've been dying until my mom or my dad or
anybody else, But I just haven't built the courage to
talk to anyone now. I just don't know. I would
(06:07):
love for you to work through these things with your
therapist and continue to do that before you know. And
then I think you are going to have to have
the courage to let people know because you shouldn't be
hiding this to protect him. You shouldn't be hiding this
because you feel like it's something you're ashamed of, because
you didn't do anything wrong, all right, I keep telling
(06:27):
myself I didn't do anything wrong, but did not like
someone's going to say you should have? You? You just
do enough. Listen, nobody can say how they were react
in a situation until it happens to them, and it's
never an easy thing to deal with, right, So I
encourage you to continue to get to the help that
you need, talk to your therapist and figure out when
(06:48):
is the right time for you to actually uh talk
to your family members as well, and get the support
that you deserve. Okay, I'll go ahead and start making
that step forward to do with that. All right. We
love you and we support at you as well. All right,
thank you so much. I love you guys. At uh
you guys, just have a great and please make sure
you follow up with me. Okay, you can always email
(07:09):
me as well so I can see how everything is going.
We're gonna and if you need help with the therapist,
I know you have one already. We'll get your information
and stay in contact. Alright, alright, hold on the line.
All right. That was asking gets deep on a goddamn Thursday. Yeah, man,
that's crazy, that's awful. I hate that things like this
happen to people. I hate that there's people who pray
(07:30):
on innocent people like that. It's disgusting. Now we got
coming up you. Yeah, we're gonna talk about Treating. Her
album is coming out tomorrow, The One, And she did
lip service live last night, so I love her so much.
And she actually is name dropping. I know y'all might
of herd that song Baps that she put out yesterday, Well,
we're gonna talk to you about some of those people.
(07:52):
She didn't mention me. You ain't no damn Treating. She's
smarter than that. Black men don't cheat. We all make mistakes, right,
Triina Plan. We're talking about a we come back at
the Breakfast Club
What's up? What's up? It's the breakfast Club. I'm angela yee.
That's Charlemagne. Envy is gone from the building, and it's
time for as when a hundred five five one oh
five one. Now we have Anonymous on the line. What's
up Anonymous? Hello? What's up? Money? What's the problem this morning?
For asy? So I am trying to figure out when
I should just go ahead and start the divorce process
(00:22):
with my husband. Okay, what's going on? So I found
out that he was cheating, um, Instagram, this, buck Snapchat,
downloading apps that had no idea about, and like a
month before he was like asking like let's have a baby,
let's do this, let's do that, And then like towards
the end of the month, I found out he was
(00:43):
cheating and talking to several different women women and um,
once I found out, like I approached them about it,
like hey, what's going on and talk to me? And
then like it's almost July and he's still doing whatever
he wants. He doesn't care, okay, don't care about our children,
and so there's no salvaging this. So you're ready to leave.
(01:03):
I am ready to leave. It's just like he's making
it seem like he just needs time and he's going
through a lot, but he doesn't want to seek therapy. Um,
he just is not doing anything and he wants to
like pretend everything cool was actually committing to, like being
a father or being mayored. Okay, So I would say
(01:24):
these things. First of all, make sure you get yourself
a good divorce lawyer. Make sure that you have everything
in order on your end, and you need to find
out what it is that you need so that when
you have a divorce. They are so messy. Sometimes things
happen that are unexpected. Obviously you never expected your husband
to even act this way, so you don't know what
he might do when it comes to custody of the kids,
when it comes to finances. Did you'll have a prenup? Okay?
(01:48):
So you need to find out what your options are
and find out what you need to do right now
to prepare for this. So when it's time bang, at
least you have all your paperwork ready to go. And
I will say that clearly you've given this man chances.
Clearly he's you know, being very selfish. He's not trying
to seek help. I don't know what his issues are,
but you gotta put yourself first. A lot of times
(02:08):
we care more about what is this other person, think
what is this gonna do to your family? But it's
really tearing your family apart now staying with him. So
you think I should just like go ahead and get
I think you need to get your stuff in order,
and I think you should definitely consult with a divorce
lawyer so you know what your options are so when
it comes time, because it seems like he's not taking
(02:29):
it seriously. He thinks that you're gonna be there forever,
and he's putting you at risk. He's putting the family
at risk, he's putting your health at risk. So I
think you need to get your ducks in order so
that you're financially ready, so that you're emotionally ready, so
that you're legally ready to walk away. Now, if something
amazing happens and you decide to stay, you can always
do that, but at least gets your stuff together. Alright, alright, Anonymous,
(02:56):
I'm sorry this is happening to you. Also know that's okay,
thank you. All right, So that is asked five one
oh five one. We are taking your cause right now.
Call us up and let me know what your question is.
It's the breakfast club. What's up is? Ask you? If
you need help, you can also email me help me
ye at gmail dot com. Now we have another anonymous
caller on the line. Now, what is your question for?
(03:17):
Asked you today? Um? First off, I love you guys.
I just wanted to get that out. Okay, we love
you too, for sure. So back when I was about six, um,
my uncle he was about probably fourteen at the time. Um,
he molested me. He did certain things that he knows,
(03:37):
he knows that you know, wasn't right. And now I
and I have my own life going on. I have
two sons, I'm married, and he reached out to me
recently and you know, just try to talk to me.
I ignored the message he sent me. It was just, hey,
how are you type of a thing? And I told
(03:57):
nobody but only my wife and I kind of have
anxiety and I get the pressed easily now that you know,
he has re entered my life in the way, and
I'm just kind of curious on what I should do
if I suggest, you know, flat I ignoring him or
you know what, Oh my god, this is a lot
(04:17):
and I don't want to give you wrong information. But
I will say, have you sought help? I know you
said the only person you've spoken to is your wife,
but have you sought professional help. It's funny you said
that I started therapy not to work girl, because I
attempted suicide and my brother came over and helped me
(04:39):
and talked me out of it. It's just it was
so much at the at the time, it was so
much going on in my life. My sons were in
the room and I it was just a lot. And
immediately after that he set me up with therapy, and
I've kind of I'm not been so anxious and had
(05:00):
so much anxiety a lot more now, but it's it's
just been a lot on my plate and him coming
back into my life and just added to it. Have
you ever confronted him about it? No? No, like ever
since that happened. I mean, and that was I never
had contact with him up until now. Okay, So I
do want you to continue your therapy because I feel
(05:22):
like that would be really beneficial to you because I
feel like there's things you need to come to terms
with yourself, you know, to know that this is not
your fault, to know that you didn't do anything wrong
to know that this person, even though he's a family member,
is a predator and is a disgusting human being, whatever
the reasons that are. You can't ever feel like there's
an explanation for what he did. You can't never feel like, Okay,
(05:44):
well this happened to him, he was abused. No, it's
still wrong. It's dead wrong. And I do feel like
you have to keep on continuing to get the help
for yourself. Have you told anybody else in your family yet? No,
I've been dying until my mom or my dad or
anybody else, But I just haven't built the courage to
talk to anyone now. I just don't know. I would
(06:07):
love for you to work through these things with your
therapist and continue to do that before you know. And
then I think you are going to have to have
the courage to let people know because you shouldn't be
hiding this to protect him. You shouldn't be hiding this
because you feel like it's something you're ashamed of, because
you didn't do anything wrong, all right, I keep telling
(06:27):
myself I didn't do anything wrong, but did not like
someone's going to say you should have? You? You just
do enough. Listen, nobody can say how they were react
in a situation until it happens to them, and it's
never an easy thing to deal with, right, So I
encourage you to continue to get to the help that
you need, talk to your therapist and figure out when
(06:48):
is the right time for you to actually uh talk
to your family members as well, and get the support
that you deserve. Okay, I'll go ahead and start making
that step forward to do with that. All right. We
love you and we support at you as well. All right,
thank you so much. I love you guys. At uh
you guys, just have a great and please make sure
you follow up with me. Okay, you can always email
(07:09):
me as well so I can see how everything is going.
We're gonna and if you need help with the therapist,
I know you have one already. We'll get your information
and stay in contact. Alright, alright, hold on the line.
All right. That was asking gets deep on a goddamn Thursday. Yeah, man,
that's crazy, that's awful. I hate that things like this
happen to people. I hate that there's people who pray
(07:30):
on innocent people like that. It's disgusting. Now we got
coming up you. Yeah, we're gonna talk about Treating. Her
album is coming out tomorrow, The One, And she did
lip service live last night, so I love her so much.
And she actually is name dropping. I know y'all might
of herd that song Baps that she put out yesterday, Well,
we're gonna talk to you about some of those people.
(07:52):
She didn't mention me. You ain't no damn Treating. She's
smarter than that. Black men don't cheat. We all make mistakes, right,
Triina Plan. We're talking about a we come back at
the Breakfast Club
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