8 Lousy Pet Puns Sure to Pause Any Puppy Party
By Andrew Magnotta
January 12, 2018
Don't be that person.
Look, we all love our pets, but there are limits to how much we can (or need to) communicate this fact to others.
Our pets pleasantly surprise and entertain us all the time. They keep us physically and mentally active. They appear to mimic our behavior and they fall asleep in such cute positions.
We're not saying don't talk about your pets or don't share photos or videos of them in their element. If we're learned anything from the Internet, it's that dogs and cats are hilarious!
And we like to laugh, same as you. But what's definitively not hilarious are these 8 awful pet puns.
Nothing says 'I have trouble relating to other humans' like calling your neighbor's dog-themed socks "paw-some."
Paparazzi are among the most reviled people in media. Don't sully an adorable puppy photo shoot by bringing up the paparazzi.
3. "That's a hot dog!"
It's 2018 and we really should be beyond this. We all know it's a dachshund. It's not that hard to say. Instead, try this, "It's 85 degrees out today; that dachshund is warm. Let us bring it some water or take it back into the air conditioning so it doesn't get heat stroke."
You're making waffles, but to make a funny you say you're making 'woofles.' Okay, so WHO'S DOG DID YOU MURDER IN ORDER TO MAKE PASTRIES, YOU SICKO?!
5. "Litter pugs"
Your pug had a litter of puppies, so now you have a bunch of adorable, squeaky, wrinkly, soft ball-sized fur balls in your house. Super! Invite some people over so you can all enjoy! But people will think twice about taking you up on your invitation if they think more puns are waiting for them.
6. "Anything Is Paw-sible"
So you were saying 'possible' but overemphasized the first syllable to sound like 'paws.' If you are not a child, this is not cute.
7. "Fur real"
For real, please exorcise this from your pun vocabulary. Also, lots of animals (and many of my uncles) have fur; it's not a very unique characteristic, so what are you really saying here?
8. "Sorry You Had a Ruff Day"
This one misses the mark for this reason: if you actually had a rough day, would you really be in the mood for some punny patronizing? No, probably not.
Now, go forth and pun responsibly.
Photo: Getty Images