Garbage's Shirley Manson Writes Poignant Essay on Overcoming Self-Harm

As Garbage celebrates the 20th anniversary of the band's second album Version 2.0 and gears up for a subsequent tour, its leading lady Shirley Manson has penned a poignant essay for The New York Times, reflecting on her struggles with self-harm as a teenager and how overcoming that helped shape her as an adult.

“I had never heard the phrase ‘self-harm’ back then, in the mid-80s in Scotland,” she writes. “There were no support groups for people like me or any progressive, sympathetic op-ed pieces about the practice of cutting in my local newspaper.”

She goes into detail about her teenage years—feeling isolated, stuck in a toxic relationship. "I had a desire to speak but could not find my voice," she explains. "I wanted to change the world for girls like me, girls who didn’t fit in or want to conform, but I didn’t know how or where to start." That frustration drove her "mad with rage" but instead of inflicting that upon others, she hurt herself.

The first time she cut herself, she "felt a warm surge of comfort and relief. Relief from the rage. A relief from the powerlessness." But when the unhealthy relationship eventually came to an end and Manson found a communicative, supportive, loving partner, the self-harm stopped.

The musician found herself having dark thoughts later in her life, when the stresses that come with fame began to overwhelm her, but she restrained from hurting herself again. Now, she is vigilant about not getting into those old thought patterns.

"I vow to hold my ground. I choose to speak up. I attempt to be kind, not only to myself but also to other people," she writes. "I surround myself with those who treat me well. I strive to be creative and determine to do things that make me happy. I believe it is not what we look like that is important, but who we are. It is how we choose to move through this bewildering world of ours that truly matters."

Read Manson's full essay here.

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