DJ Dillon Francis Helps Ron Burgundy Get On The Raya Dating App
By Diana Brown
September 25, 2019
Ron Burgundy, as everyone knows, is a world-famous jazz flutist, and as a fellow musician, he’s excited to welcome EDM DJ Dillon Francis to this episode of The Ron Burgundy Podcast. First, though, he has to finish filling out his Bumble profile (he’s been, sadly, waitlisted for Raya), telling his potential partners everything they need to know: “I’m a man first, that’s for sure, and I'm a news anchor, second. Yeah, and then, and third, I'm a responsible pet owner.” That done, he sits down with Dillon to discuss caring for the elderly, the crazy RNC after-parties thrown by Sarah “Huckabeats” Sanders, and Ron’s early foray into EDM, a 1983 collaboration with Grandmaster Flash he calls “News Funk 2000.”
While Ron mistakenly thinks that Dillon had something to do with creating the Motown sound at first, he quickly realizes that actually, EDM is “electronic dance music,” created on computers. “That’s a smart choice,” Ron compliments Dillon, since laptops are so easy to carry around. “Do you ever look at a guy...who plays the tuba and has to lug it all over the place, and think, ‘Nice job, idiot’?” But what Ron really wants to know is how many senior citizens listen to Dillon’s music. “The octogenarians who love a little EDM while they're doing water aerobics at the pool,” Ron says. Dillon’s not sure, so they check his Twitter and Instagram analytics and discover that one percent of Dillon’s followers are 65 and above. “How about a DJ school for senior citizens?” Ron suggests. “Teach them about beat matching, cross-fader curve control, get some loops going, make some beats?” Dillon responds thoughtfully: “That honestly sounds like my own personal hell.”
Ron's co-host, Carolina Barlow, isn't sure why Ron is leaning in to the elderly thing so much, and Ron says, “When I heard Dillon Francis was coming, I thought, ‘Who better to tackle the subject of caring for the elderly than Dillon Francis, an EDM superstar?’” He tells Dillon that he volunteers at a nursing home every week, and one of the residents is a retired colonel. “Last weekend, I rigged up his motorized wheelchair with the engine from an old 1970 Corvette Stingray LT-1, and I must've got that sucker going to around 120 miles an hour, maybe 130. Isn't that awesome?!” Dillon says he’s surprised the colonel didn’t suffer from any lasting damage, and Ron admits that he did have “a little bit” of kidney failure. “But he said it was all worth it.”
Dillon tells us that his father used to make him meditate when he was a kid, “which is really counterproductive to meditating.” He hated it; “As a little kid, your mind is going a mile a minute” and he was supposed to sit still for an hour every day. Ron is flabbergasted. “An hour?...I mean, maybe fifteen minutes!” he says. Meditation doesn't work for Ron; “It’s like a carnival of horrors in my brain, no matter what I do.” Dillon offers his condolences. On the plus side, he might be able to get Ron to the top of that Raya waiting list. “This is turning out to be one of the great days in my life,” Ron declares.
Join Ron, Carolina, and Dillon as they discuss attaching drones to wheelchairs to make them fly, whether or not Dillon’s grandmother likes his music, and Dillon’s opinion of “News Funk 2000,” on this episode of The Ron Burgundy Podcast.
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