Meghan Markle Reveals She Had Suicidal Thoughts While Living In The Palace
By Emily Lee
March 8, 2021
On Sunday (March 7), Prince Harry and Meghan Markle sat down with Oprah Winfrey for a "no holds barred" interview about their decision to step back from their official roles within the Royal Family. During their wide-ranging conversation, Meghan admitted she became so depressed while living in the Palace that she suffered from suicidal thoughts.
"It was only once we were married and everything started to worsen," Meghan shared with Oprah. "Not only was I not being protected but they were willing to lie to protect other members of the family. They were not willing to tell the truth to protect me and my husband."
Following discussions about her son, Archie, and his future role within the institution, including whether or not he would receive an official title and security on behalf of the Crown, Meghan fell into a deep depression. "We had in tandem the conversations of how he won't be given security....and there were also concerns and conversations about how dark his skin might be when he was born."
Meghan said those conversations about Archie's skin tone were relayed to her from Harry, who had those discussions with other members of his family. Meghan would not disclose which member of the Royal Family raised concerns about Archie's skin color because it would be "damaging" for them.
As things began to worsen between the Sussexes and The Firm, Meghan's depression also worsened. She told Oprah it got so bad she lost her will to live. "I was ashamed to say it at the time and ashamed to have to admit it to Harry," Meghan said through tears. "But I knew that if I didn’t say it – then I would do it. I just didn’t want to be alive anymore. That was clear and real and frightening and a constant thought."
Meghan, who was pregnant with Archie at the time, said she thought her death "would solve everything for everyone." Once she shared what she was feeling with Harry, she went to the Human Resources department of The Firm for help, however, help never came. Meghan said she was told that "there is nothing" the palace could do to help because you are not a paid member of the institution." Meghan says: "Nothing was ever done."
"I went to one of the most senior people to get help," Meghan added. "I was told I couldn't because it wouldn't be good for the institution." Meghan and Harry said they ultimately left their "senior" roles within the family when they didn't receive help from the establishment.
If you or someone you know need helps, reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255.