Billie Eilish Admits She's 'Ashamed' Of Her Internet Past

By Hayden Brooks

July 19, 2021

Photo: Kelly Anne MacCluskey

Like most of us, Billie Eilish isn’t proud of everything that is on the internet.

In her new cover story for Vogue Australia, the pop star, 19, revealed that there are plenty of instances, where she's embarrassed by her digital footprint. "I said so many things then that I totally don't agree with now, or think the opposite thing," she told the mag. Eilish was likely referencing the recently resurfaced video of her using an epithet and speaking in a stereotypical Asian accent. "The weirdest thing is how nothing ever goes away once it's on the internet. Every interview I did when I was 15 is still out there, and I think about it constantly."

"It's really weird how the world can see every aspect of your life and reminisce about [it]," she continued. "The internet brings up things from everybody's past and I'm like, 'Don't you guys understand that everybody is incredibly embarrassed and ashamed about their past? Like, do you not think about the fact that maybe you're embarrassed of your past, so maybe everybody else is embarrassed, too?'"

While Eilish made no mention of the viral video, she did reference one past interview that has made her cringe. "I did an interview where somebody said: 'What are you doing when you're not making music?' And I said: 'Even when I'm not making music, I'm making music.' And actually, Lil Wayne said that in an interview and I just saw it and said it, too. And it's not even true!” she explained. “When you're a f*cking teenager, you don't really know yourself, so you're trying to figure yourself out. That was the hardest thing for me: I didn't actually know how I really felt. So I just came up with this facade that I stuck to."

Eilish is performing at this year's iHeartRadio Music Festival in Las Vegas in September alongside a lineup of superstar artists. Fans across the country can tune in and watch an exclusive live stream of the show via The CW App and Then, on October 2nd and 3rd, relive all of the epic performances from the weekend during a televised special on The CW Network at 8 p.m. ET/PT. And leading up to the official television special, The CW will also air an hour-long Best Of Special on Sunday, September 29th at 8 p.m. ET/PT.

Billie Eilish
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