New York City Wants To Hire A 'Bloodthirsty' Rat Czar

By Bill Galluccio

December 2, 2022

Rats on a Subway Platform in New York City
Photo: Corbis News

New York City is looking to hire a new rat czar to tackle the rodent infestation that has plagued the city for generations. A job posting for the position of Director of Rodent Mitigation calls for a candidate who has a "virulent vehemence for vermin" and a "killer instinct needed to fight the real enemy – New York City's relentless rat population."

"The ideal candidate is highly motivated and somewhat bloodthirsty, determined to look at all solutions from various angles, including improving operational efficiency, data collection, technology innovation, trash management, and wholesale slaughter," the job posting says.

Applicants must be New York City residents and have a "swashbuckling attitude, crafty humor, and general aura of badassery."

"Despite their successful public engagement strategy and cheeky social media presence, rats are not our friends – they are enemies that must be vanquished by the combined forces of our city government. Rodents spread disease, damage homes, and wiring, and even attempt to control the movements of kitchen staffers in an effort to take over human jobs. Cunning, voracious, and prolific, New York City's rats are legendary for their survival skills, but they don't run this city – we do."

The position offers a salary range between $120,000 and $170,000.

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