Tribute: Brian Wilson - A Fragile Genius

Brian Wilson was 22 years old when he became the first artist Capitol Records allowed to produce his own records. They recognized the genius he possessed, and he delivered hit after hit for two decades. From Surfin USA, to California Girls, Good Vibrations, Wouldn't It Be Nice, and the song Paul McCartney calls "the greatest song ever written" - "God Only Knows". Brian's music has been a constant for me ever since the first time I dropped the needle on the Endless Summer album.

It was late 1974 when my neighbor Danny Lapointe lent it to me. Simple thing, right? He didn't know (and nor did I) that it would be one of those albums that would have a huge effect on me and my life.

Music does that to a person. Well, at least to me.

Danny had no way of knowing that I'd be listening to that band 50 years later. He had no idea that I'd purchase everything they'd ever release, read books about them, see them play live about 25 (or more) times, and get to interview and meet the legendary founder - Brian Wilson.

Shit, I couldn't even have dreamt the last two things back then! But it's true. The Beach Boys and the Beatles were the staples of my record collection. I'd listen to every song and try to figure out the vocal harmonies because they were unlike anything I'd heard before. Just me, those records, and a small plastic record player up in my room. I couldn't even guess how many hours I spent just listening to (and singing) to those songs. But I knew them all by heart.

And although Brian's death this week wasn't shocking to me, it affected me like I had lost an old friend I hadn't seen in some time. Is that weird? Maybe. But it's true.

The first time I met Brian was when he released his first solo album in 1988 - "Love and Mercy". It was simple lyrically, but rich in harmonies. It was Brian's step back into the spotlight after his struggles with mental illness and drug abuse, and it was his first as a solo artist. And I can tell you this about that day -

He was terrified. At least I thought so.

Everybody knew about his struggles. Shit, Rolling Stone wrote endlessly about them. But fans are forgiving and were pulling for him. I know I was.

I went down to Warner Brothers Records office in MA with Valerie (it was actually one of our first dates, and she really didn't know who he was! haha), and met him at a press event for radio (Thanks Andrew Govatsos!). He was signing autographs, and I had a limited edition cd of his new release and when I got up to his table and handed it to him - he shook my hand and I said "The only thing I can say that makes sense is - Thank you for your music. It's been a part of my whole life". He was very kind and thanked me. I handed him the cd and asked if he would sign it and he did. He started to sign his name as I watched. I saw him struggle with it. He wrote B-R-I - and stopped. He stared at it for a long time. I didn't know what to do or say so I waited. Finally I leaned down and quietly said- "It's ok Brian". And he slowly finished his name.

That was my first real glimpse of the rock and roll legend who wrote The Pet Sounds album, Good Vibrations, God Only Knows, Surfin USA and a hundred other hit songs.

This musical icon, a true genius - was human. And a fragile one at that. I considered it a minor miracle that the guy was even there meeting people given the darkness he had come from. And it made me pull for him all the more.

A few months later I saw him on stage at the Centrum in Worcester, appearing with the Beach Boys, and he looked petrified on stage there too. But - he was up there singing and sounded great!

After that, Brian started doing solo tours with an incredible 9 piece (or so) band, and I got to see them play a few times. It was an amazing comeback. The songs were great, the shows were awesome- and Brian seemed more comfortable on stage!

I got to interview him years later to promote a show at the Casino Ballroom, and I was pretty nervous about it. It's not everyday you get to talk to an icon of yours. Plus, Brian didn't do many interviews at all and the only reason he did it with us was because his band leader- Jeffrey Foskett, knew how big a fan I was. I wasn't sure what kind of headspace he was in, and wanted to make sure to be respectful and let him know he was in good, safe hands. He was nervous, and breathing pretty loudly into the phone (through his nose, I think) - and Roadkill's eyes got really big once he heard it, but he was very respectful and I just made like i didn't hear it and carried on. The guy was still one of my musical idols, and I considered us VERY lucky to get the chance to talk to him at all! I thought of the balls it took for him to even do it in the first place. You had to respect that, given that he once spent a couple of years in bed in his house. (True)

The show at the casino had fewer band members and Brians nervousness showed. His smile was forced, and at one point he got up to leave the stage, but couldn't find the stairs through the curtains. Some people in the audience laughed. Ouch. Yes, he still struggled, but dammit, he was out there swinging. And it gets to the point that even though you can see the weakness, you PULL FOR HIM because he's up there fighting! The guy could stay home and live off his money - but he didn't - he confronted his demons and went out and PLAYED! My respect for the guy only grew.

Backstage, there were only a couple people there, and Brian and had a very nice chat this time. He was relaxed (once he was off stage) and he was once again very nice. He signed my copy of his legendary "Smile" album without hesistation. That was a big deal for me. The "Smile" album he released was a career milestone for him. And as I walked down the stairs of the Casino Ballroom that night - I thought - "How f****** lucky am I?".

I saw him and his solo band a couple more times and they CRUSHED it. Brian rallied. Again. That's what legends do.

We interviewed him one more time when the movie "Love and Mercy" came out - and it was much better than our first on air chat. That was pretty cool for me too, especially because it felt like the guy was back from the abyss. And the last time I saw/met him -

was on the Beach Boys 50th Anniversary Tour when it hit the Leader Bank Pavilion in Boston. Brian was all smiles, and the band played 50 tunes that night. FIFTY! And best of all - and this is no bullshit - THEY SOUNDED UNBELIEVABLE! True, that had Brians backing band up there with them - but man, what a night that was.

As a life long fan, I couldn't have asked for more. (thanks to my friend Paul Barrette, who worked with the band, for making that happen).

I guess my point in all of this is - that here is this lauded musical genius who's music created a mystique, a sound unlike anything before it. He was unorthodox and astounded even the most jaded professional musicians in LA and other great musical icons around the world both as a singer, composer, and producer as well - and yet his life was a constant battle with mental demons. And the thing that gave him the strength to come back from that abyss time and time again- was music.

How lucky am I to have had the experiences I've had with that guy? I still can't believe it. He was the guy who wrote "Good Vibrations"- in a sandbox he had put in his living room so he could feel the beach sand on his feet while he wrote it! He wrote, sang and produced the album "Pet Sounds", which is almost universally considered one of the greatest rock albums in history! Even rock legends call this guy a LEGEND!

And I shook his hand. He looked at me, said my name, and thanked me.

I don't think anyone else will ever come close to that, for me. I couldn't ask for anything more.

No more demons to wrestle, Brian. Rest in Peace, and thank you for the music.