November 1, 2025 • 32 mins
Ben Maller (produced by Danny G.) has a great Saturday podcast for you! He talks: Game 7, Men in Black, Santa Anita, Maller Pie, & more!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kutbooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old Republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow, it's clearinghouse of
hot takes. Break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
(00:23):
with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
In the air everywhere The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben
Mallor and Danny G Radio. A Happy college Football Saturday. Well,
I'll be watching some college football this afternoon. Danny G
Radio will hopefully join me on the Sunday podcast, but
you're stuck with just me, your friend Ben here on
(00:50):
the Fifth Hour for the first time in the month
of November. It is the first day of November, and
if you live in a place, which is most places
where the time changes tonight on the overnight, there will
be the time change, so we have that to look
forward to, which means we like this, right, this is
the one we like because you get an extra hour
(01:10):
of sleep and all that, which is kind of cool.
On this edition of the Fifth Hour Podcast with Me
and Danny g who is producing this. We have Men
in Black, Santa Anita, and the Mallard Pie, and we're
combined all of these things together and we are going
to make a delicious, thick Chicago style pizza. Which I
(01:34):
have pointed out in the past to Tree in Chicago
and your Femi and some of those other guys. I
always thought, well, who wants to eat the pizza with
the tomato sauce on top? And then I had it
and I said, oh my god, this is one of
the greatest things I've ever had. Let's get right to it.
So again, Men in Black, Santa Anita, Malard Pie, we start.
Let's not waste any time. Do not waste the get
to the point. Please don't bury the lead, my man.
(01:56):
So we must address the snuffleopagus in the room, our lead.
On the Fifth Hour podcast from Toronto, we saw it
last night. Well, people were trigger treating and living their lives.
The Boys in Blue woke up from hibernation just in
time to set up what is going to be an
epic sports day today Game seven. And I'm now already annoyed.
(02:24):
It's been so often the last couple of years we've
heard the expression the greatest two words in sports. I've
heard it so much now I'm starting to hate it.
And I used to say it all the time, and
I mean everywhere, like, oh, the greatest two words. Okay,
I get it. It's good, it's gonna be fun, and
it is on. I don't geet going in Toronto. I'm
(02:45):
getting a lot of messages from Dodger people saying, well,
you were ripping them. You didn't think they were gonna win.
I never said they didn't think they were going to
win Game six. They had a huge pitching advantage with
Yamamoto on the mound. But the curtain call for the
twenty twenty five baseball season, and somehow, somehow, the Dodgers,
who have looked like they didn't know how to play
(03:08):
baseball in this World Series, are still standing right there,
barely barely. They needed Yamamoto to throw another gem just
to stay alive. Stay alive. The Bejee's and Mookie Bets.
Finally I got several emails. I tried to tell you,
you shouldn't have been mean to Mookie Betts. What's wrong
with you?
Speaker 2 (03:27):
I know.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Mookie Bets finally earned his per diem congratulations. First time
he's shown up all World Series two massive runs, batted
in two, Ribby's stop the presses. Oh my god, Mookie Betts,
who's got one of those forever contracts contributing in the
World Series. And I am convinced that many of you
(03:49):
who listened to the Overnight So I don't know how
many these people listen to the podcast. I have no idea.
I know the radio shows its own entity. I feel
like if you listen to this fifth hour podcast, we're
at a higher level because you're going out of your
way to find the content. Some people just happen to
listen because it's on when they're at work or whatever,
working into the factory. So I have a nightly talk show.
(04:12):
The job requires me to give opinions about what's going
on in sports. I know this is gonna be very
difficult for you and on a daily basis. My job
is not to lick the toes of the people I
talk about. That is not the job. The job is
to be critical, all right. If you want to lick
their toes and knock yourself out, that's not really what
I'm into. So Mookie Bets got it done. Good for him.
(04:34):
This is the malor tough love effect. We talked about
this often. You take the haymaker, you throw some body
blows body blow, body blow, body blow right at the athlete.
In this case, Mookie Bets. You rip them on the
radio show, you call them out and boof. He remembers,
wait a minute, I'm Mookie Bets. And the guy was
(04:56):
betting a buck thirty in the World Series and you
tell of you idiots wanted me to come out of
here and just kiss his ass, like what is wrong
with you? And he looked like he was swinging an
imaginary bat. He wasn't even a broomstick, an imaginary bat.
And then the game last night ending in epic fashion
(05:17):
the Blue Jays. It looked like it was gonna be
a total melt down here at the end. Dodgers had
a two run lead, Blue Jays had a golden opportunity,
the bases were packed, and it all went away on
three pitches thanks to a very crafty double play by
kik A and all those Blue Jay fans who were
wearing their powder blue hopping, hopping up and down, all excited,
(05:40):
and the game ends, and it was it was great.
So here's what's on the line tonight. If the Dodgers
win Game seven. They do exactly what they were supposed
to do. Congratulations, you did what you were supposed to
do when you showed up the spring training. This roster,
and again, I like the Dodgers. You shouldn't say this
means I'm just being honest. This roster is a collection
(06:03):
of baseball mercenaries, pampered, coddled, insulated from real life reality.
And all of that gets justified if they win, win
the championship, the hunk a medal. That's all you gotta do.
They were built for this moment. You don't spend a
billion dollars on payroll in the span of like a year.
(06:27):
You don't install Japanese style toilets to come in second place.
And don't forget two private jets. Two private jet adds
some jabbroni who's a fanboy in the media, and he
was getting upset. He's, oh, you shouldn't use the word coddle.
Every single Dodger player is coddled. They're the only professional
(06:47):
sports team. You think about the industrial complex of professional sports,
with all the Major League Baseball teams, the Pro Football,
the NBA, the NHL, all the industrial complex of sports,
the Dodgers are the only team to have two private
jets when they travel, one for the players, one for
the peasants. This isn't the sandblot. This is not a
(07:08):
feel good, pull yourself up from the bootstraps type story.
This is baseball's version of the TV show Dynasty or Secession. Right.
It's all about the money, the image, the ego, all
that stuff. You've got a bunch of guys and they're talented.
Good for them. They're making a lot of money. But
let's not pretend this is some kind of upstart baseball team.
They're ridiculously rich. And I know if they win the
(07:29):
World Series, they're gonna talk about all the adversity that
they overcame. It's gonna make me want to puke in
my mouth. And they get paid to play a kids game. Great, wonderful,
Good for you. The stakes are high. The stakes are
high mainly because of the fear factor. Mainly because of
the old show that Joe Rogan was on. Fear Factor.
Don't screw this up. Do not screw this up. If
the Dodgers lose this game tonight, oh boy, they're not
(07:51):
just getting second place, They're getting mocked into oblivion. Tight
Tukis syndrome is in play here. You can feel it.
Every guy and the Dodger dugout, gripping the bat like
it's a live grenade. And the ghost of playoff flops
of years gone by. And I'm going back to the
twenty seventeen season when the Astros cheated, twenty eighteen, when
(08:17):
they stumbled against the Red Sox, the ghosts of twenty
twenty one, twenty twenty two, twenty twenty three, they're all back. Ohokie, Now,
I know we've already gotten through the whole Halloween thing
that was yesterday. It's still Halloween weekend, even though it's
now in November. The postseason choke jobs are what I'm
(08:37):
all about, all right, We've seen it. We've seen it.
It makes for great talk radio. And the Dodgers gotta
be careful. I gotta avoid that, right the panic swings.
Dodgers certainly capable of a bullpen meltdown. That's the beauty
of postseason baseball and Game seven. None of it here's
the only thing. None of it. None of it matters.
The stats don't matter, the salary doesn't matter, the home
(09:01):
field advantage doesn't matter. The fans screaming. Doesn't matter. The spreadsheets,
the algorithms, the spin rates, the exit velocity, it doesn't matter.
It's all irrelevant. It's the men in black moment. You
zap the memory stick, You zap the memory stick. All
that matters is this game, this night. That's it. Everything
(09:22):
else goes out the door. All of it is subterfuge,
all of it. It's all about tonight. And I love it.
I love it, I love it. I love it. Now
the matchup, at least at the start, we have sho
Hey Otani versus Max Schurzer. It doesn't get more cinematic
than this. You've got the former Dodger Shuzer, God's gift
(09:43):
to baseball show Hey Otani, and Otani's gonna give you
what two or three innings tops, and then it's going
to be the conga line. The Dodgers will be calling
in a bunch of arsonists from the bullpen, and we'll
see how this goes here. Dave Roberts and the Nerds
planned to use what seven to eight guys by the
fifth inning. That's usually how this goes. It's gonna look
(10:05):
like an airport runway out there with all the bullpen traffic.
Now Scherzer, who screwed the Dodgers over against the Atlanta
Braves when he was briefly a Dodger that was in
I believe was one if I remember correctly, when Schuzer
was supposed to pitch Game six and then tapped out,
then blamed Dave Roberts. The Dodgers baby to him. They
(10:26):
coddled him too, and he still babied him. Said he
wasn't ready to pitch Game six, and so if they
lost it, he said, maybe I'll pitch Game seven. It
didn't work out. You know, Schurzer's got those crazy eyes.
He's got the glowing they're already going the different colors,
like he's walking out there as a volcano human volcano.
And the way I look at it in the Mallard
crystal Ball as a distant relative of Nostra donnis noster
(10:49):
demus and a friend of Nostra damas or vice versa.
It's early in the morning. Listen, he's either throwing no
hit ball or giving up six runs by the third inning.
There's really know in between. That's what my late cousin
Nos deemus noster Thomas would say. I don't know about
Nostra deems regardless, Make no mistake, this is a legacy game.
(11:11):
The Dodgers win, and they get the dynasty with the
capital D. Back to back champs. Baby, They'll sell all
the merch, they erase, all the noise, all the flops,
Mookie Bets sucking for one hundred games this season, Blake
Snell being coddled, taking three months off, Tyler Glass now
also being away and not being available, and that Max
(11:32):
Munsey getting hurt going away. All this stuff and all
the overpaid channer goes away. Now, if you lose, these
guys will be treated like vermin. Vermin, just a collection
of rich, loud ballplayers who are irrelevant and frauds underachievers.
(11:52):
And you win, you're the twenty twenties version of the
nineties Yankees, with Jeter and Bernie Williams and Paul O'Neill
and all those guys. You're more like the nineties Mets,
minus the fun, minus the fun. Now tonight not about
the long changel and launch angle. It's not about that,
although you'll probably hear a bunch about it. It's about Moxie.
(12:16):
Not my dog Moxie, the actual Moxie guts Ma Chiesmo.
It's about who tightens up, who chokes, and who shows
up and everything else again, all of it, it doesn't matter.
It's at first one to have the league get to
twenty seven outs. So buckle up, Buccaroo Game seven and
you can see off in the distance there on the horizon,
(12:36):
Donkey Kong's barrel is rolling and somebody, somebody's going down
that ladder. Now turning the page on that. We assume
you heard the news by now from the NFL. You
just knew someone was getting tossed overboard being excommunicated from
the Miami side of things. After the Ravens took the
(12:57):
Dolphins to the woodshed and the Dolphins got waxed, humiliated
pants in their own house, and less than twenty four
hours later, Boom goes to the Dynamite Chris Greer. Chris Greer,
the GM they said, mutually parting ways. That's bull crap.
That's a polite way of saying. We asked him to leave,
(13:20):
and he said, okay, So we've agreed. We're changing the locks.
Nobody leaves those jobs. We're changing the locks, the gate codes.
Changing your past key won't work to get in the
parking garage. You're cooked. Now. The timing on this is
why I'm not saying it's a wrong move. I would
make the move too. I would have gotten rid of
this guy a long time ago. The timing is wild, though.
(13:41):
If you look at your NFL textbook, you don't normally
fire the GM the week of the trade deadline. That's
like deciding to replace the chef in the middle of
the dinner rush and everyone in the kitchen is screaming
the soup's on fire. Over to the left, over to
the right, the main or d just quit. He's upset.
He wants to go do a podcast or something. And
(14:02):
you look at the Dolphins wide angle lens. This is
a country club operation. Everybody wears those white polos. They
talk about the analytics side of things, and nobody wants
to get their hands dirty. They don't. It's been that
way for years. They're dysfunction. I said it on the
monologue I did the other night during the week after
(14:24):
the game. I was like, the Dolphins are the Jets
and the Browns with palm trees and better weather. It's dysfunction.
It's like a membership perk, the dysfunction. They've got tea
times and Tiki drinks. Well, the roster just rots in
the South Beach sun. And they're not really running so
much an NFL franchise. It's like they're running the South
(14:47):
Florida resort. Welcome to Dolphin Bay Club. Please tip your
quarterback on the way out. Now, speaking of the quarterback,
can you and I have a conversation here? Is it
fair to say that Tua all of this upheaval is
about to a tongue of b looa, isn't it? I
see you nine in your head over there. They went
(15:08):
all in on him, They said, this is our guy,
this is our guy. It's kind of like going to
Santa Nita and betting all of your paycheck on a horse,
of course, and the horse was the wrong horse. You
bet on the wrong horse. The horse came to the
(15:29):
track and wanted to have a snack, not winning any races. Instead,
Let's get a lower mid tier plotter, no stallion at quarterback.
And Tua's not a bust. He is a functional, lower
level second tier quarterback. He's not a savior. Tua is
a wall, a beige wall. You don't hate a beige wall.
(15:54):
You don't. You don't form a really strong opinion about
a beige wall. You don't certainly post anything on social
media about a beij wall, and it doesn't make your
day any better. And now the bills have come due,
not the Buffalo bills. They poured champagne on mediocrity in
Miami for years and finally realize, at least for now,
(16:14):
it's flat now. Some of you, some of you sent
me a clip of a story that our former Fox
Sports radio warning guy Steven A. Smith came out saying,
oh brother, He says, oh brother gets fired first. I
think that was his line. I think that I'm trying
to remember it off the top of my head, implying
that the race card was played from the bottom of
(16:37):
the deck. Now, in the pantheon of bad takes, this
has to be right near the top. The guy lasted
ten freaking years as the GM in Miami. Ten years
is the GM in Miami? How many coaches did he
go through? And stephen A's take as well, this is
like the playing the race card ten years. That's like
dog years in NFL. I that's seventy years. That's a lifetime.
(16:59):
And you had as many wins. I had as many
wins as this guy had in the playoffs, zero Zippo squad,
Doush Squad, Doush in Dolphin's years. He's Don Shula and
the Mayflower combined. And you know what happens next. Now
every team in the league starts calling Miami in the
interim GM there, and it's like a yard seal, say, hey,
(17:21):
what do you want for Jaden Wall Jalen Wadle? What
can we get for him? I need a backup left tackle.
Can I get half off on your offensive line? There
is a nibble here, a nibble there, a nibble everywhere.
The vultures are circling over the three oh five right now.
Then you have Mike McDaniel twisting in the wind, twisting
(17:45):
in the wind. The guy's updating his resume, recording voice
demos for NPR coming up next on the Morning Espresso,
Why your lante art says more about your feelings and
your phone. Now, his next job's going to involve something
with oat milk. I don't know exactly what. Maybe he'll
be serving it, maybe he'll be talking about it. It
(18:06):
will not involve Tyreek Hill for Mike McDaniel, who has
been good for business, and I will be sad to
see him go. He's goofy. He is in way over
his head. He's not well spoken. He's a bit of
a clown, which makes for great talk radio. Now, the
other thing here, it's the same story every decade for
the Dolphins. Like that. You have to be really old
(18:28):
to remember when the Dolphins were good. The Dolphins are
a luxury car that keeps breaking down because they're too
busy polishing the hood to fix the engine. Hello, Miami
is where talented players go to tan not to win.
They need to borrow a case of suntan lotion from
(18:51):
Mike to Leprechaun and just tan not to win. They're
the four seasons of failure. Baby. They got great views
and apps, terrible results. All right now, Danny, g's just
give me this and he says, Beaniel, that's way too
much sports. He said, you talked about the Dodgers and
the Dolphins. Bad job by you put me in the
(19:13):
off at all. That's right, Danny, It is a bad
job by being So we're gonna turn the page here
and I will I will go behind the scenes. As
you know, the fifth hour, a lot of it is
about stuff that is not sports related. I know this
has been way too sporty. I apologize, so I'm going
to make up for it. It's story time on the
Ben Malor Podcast, a fifth hour podcast with Danny g
(19:33):
It's story time. So I've talked about this in the past.
Have you had those moments. We've all had those moments.
I've talked about them here on the show, in the
moment when you are reminded, in this case, that tech
can be a wreck, an absolute wreck. Now, I'm not
a technophobe. I use tech all the time. I have
an Apple Watch, i have an iPhone. I'm on my
(19:53):
laptop all the time. I have many fancy gadgets. But
every once in a while, when your fancy gadget and
redundant systems, all those clever little conveniences of the modern
world that we all share, they gang up on you
at once. Now. I had mine the other morning, deep
(20:13):
into the overnight show, in that strange half alive, half
asleep time when many North American night owls are still awake.
And then there's those people that are the early birds,
not just the night owls, the early birds that get
up early to get to work, and we do better.
It's wow. I tell people all the time, We actually
have more people listening the end of the show than
(20:34):
we do the beginning because we were doing early morning drive,
that five am Eastern hour. It is pumping, right, But
the rest of the world, not everyone gets up early.
Most people don't, and not everyone stays up all night.
So the rest of the world's gone to bed. And
there I am, my fat ass in the remote broadcast studio,
the out post I call the Malor Mansion, and the
(20:55):
lights were low, the microphone was red hot, slaving away
over a red hot microphone. The bells, the whistles, the
sound effects, the orchestra, a cacophony of sounds, the overnight absurdity,
all that all ready to go. We were working, I
mean we were working. The show was humming along, the
(21:16):
last live radio show of the week, three hours in.
Everything fine, not the greatest show, not the worst show.
That's where you wanted, that sweet spot right in the middle,
and then with about and I'm I didn't jog down
the time. I was a little flustered, about thirty minutes
to go before the finish line. I made a fatal error.
Now at the time I did not realize it was
(21:36):
a fatal er. What was my error. I reached for
my drink. Now, to me, this is a rather benign act.
There's nothing exotic here, no monster energy. There was no
quadruple espresso from Starbucks, just ice water, like the rice
cake of beverages, the dull, guilt free elixir of the
somewhat health conscious gas bag man. And so as I
(22:01):
set the drink down somewhere in what was a very
simple thing to do, Fate stepped in. What are you
talking about?
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Like?
Speaker 1 (22:12):
At that moment I put the drink down, I didn't
slam it down. I didn't. It wasn't like I was
trying to win a contest at the State Fair where
you got to bring the hammer of God down. So
I put the thing down, and the screen in front
of me in the remote studio goes black, not dim,
not flickering black. The monitor, the brains of my operation,
the compass of the of the show. Prep you'll put
(22:34):
everything up there. The bullet points had flat line, had
flat line. Now there's no you can't call nine to
one one because your monitor doesn't work. You can't. What
do you do? So here I was staring into the abyss,
and the abyss it turned out was HDMI static because
I kind of pushed the thing a little bit. And
now let me tell you something that there were two
kinds of talk shows in the world. There's the Type A.
(22:57):
The boy Scouts are broadcasting that copious amounts of preparation,
like they're writing the Magna cartera right, and they live
in the bullet points and preparation, and they over prepare,
so instead of preparing for a four hour show, they're
ready to do eight hours of talk radio. So that's
(23:17):
the Type A. And then on the other side of
the aisle you have the Type B. These are the
wild cards, often ex jocks, offen x jocks, and they
throw through the They kind of float through life on
charisma and resume and you know, I was a jock,
my opinion matters. And they often don't do any preparation. Uh,
(23:38):
they just read maybe it's ESPN's website or whatever, it's
on the homepage, and that's it. Unfortunately, and I blame
my parents with this. I'm I'm the first kund I'm
the Type A trapped in a Type B profession. And
when the monitor went dark, I wasn't just flying blind.
I was naked. No notes, no rundowns, no cheat sheets,
(24:00):
just a man a mic and the rising panic of
realizing that my brain had become a floppy disc. Okay,
And here's the thing about doing the job. And I've
done it so long, it just blows me away how
fast time has gone. I feel like I'm still just starting.
But I've been here a long time, and for as
(24:21):
long as I've done talk radio. At some point it
just becomes muscle memory, right, And it's one of those
things you do it so long you can fake it
till you make it. And so I did what I
guess the professionals do. I just pretended everything was fine,
the show must go on, and blah blah blah blah
(24:42):
blah blah blah blah blah. Not one listener had any
clue that behind the scenes, I was in a full
blown sweat lodge, that the remote studio had turned into
a hot sauna, doing yoga anxiety sweat flop, sweat, stress, sweat,
the Holy Trinity. Now keep it in mind, I was
fiddling with chords. I tapped the back of the monitor.
(25:05):
I give it the old Fonsi treatment. That's a dated reference. Nothing.
The lights were on in the studio, but no one
was home in HDMI land. So following the show, I
made it through the last half hour or so of
the show, and when the show finally ended, I did
the old exhale like a man who had just survived
a hostage situation. Then I had to do the post mortem.
(25:28):
I do the autopsy, the cause of death. It turned
out it was indeed one deceased HDMI cable. It had
crossed the pearly gates into that digital heaven. There was
no warning, there was no smoke, just gone, gone, gone,
a humble little chord, the unsung hero of the modern age.
(25:49):
It had connected my computer to the monitor through years
of Mallard monologus, cheating scandals, gambling scandals or meltdowns about
Dave Roberts yapping about the Jets and the Browns and this,
that and the other thing, and it had done its
duty with pride, with honor. It had stayed very quiet,
(26:12):
and now it had moved on. And that, my friend,
and you being a real p one by listening to
this who listened to this podcast religiously, That is when
I discovered a new law of being a mid middle
aged broadcast guy. For every dead HDMI cable, there are
just one and only one. You know, the replacement is
(26:35):
buried somewhere in your house. So of course what did
I do? I went on what I can only describe
as a malar scavenger hunt. Now I know that your house.
I don't know where you live. I don't, I mean,
you don't know really where I live, and if you do,
you're a stocker. But every household has that junk drawer,
and it gets bigger and bigger the older you get.
(26:56):
You know, the one where you good intentions go to die.
You put the old remote in there, You put the
old keys, the expired batteries, the triple A card from
seven just in case, your old wallets. You put screws, screwdrivers.
You have that lone Allen wrench from the thing you
(27:18):
bought at Ikea. The bookshelf that you don't even own,
the bookshelf you put that on offer up a couple
of years ago. So I went through the I went
through the junk drawers, you know, things that I just
tossed aside, until finally, under a mass of mystery cables
and old keys and all that crap and takeout menus,
(27:39):
there was my ex caliber A backup HDMI cable likely
installed in that drawer during the Obama administration, and still
coiled neatly as if it was waiting for this day.
It had been waiting, and here was its moment. It
would once again be called into service. And I took
(28:02):
that HDMI cable and I walked down about a hallway,
and then I went up some stairs, and I went
up some more stairs. I made a right turn, I
made another right, went down a long hallway, and then
I had a fork in the road. I could go
to the right or the left. I went to the left,
and I walked into the remote studio, and that thing
was called into service. I plugged it in. The screen
(28:25):
blinked to life. The static was gone, and just like that,
the prodigital monitor had returned. The monitor was back, Baby,
it was back. So the thing about spare tires and
this was a spare HDMI cable. The thing about spirit
tires and spare HDMI cables is that they're not solutions.
(28:46):
They are a stoppage of the problem. There, stop gap bandage, whatever.
There are symbols of survival, and this one, this one's
already unborrowed time. So I'll make the pilgrimage at some point,
maybe today, BEFO for the Dodger game. I'll go over
to Best Buy, maybe today, Or I'll surrender to the
(29:07):
algorithm overlords of Amazon and order a replacement. And when
it arrives, I will coil the old one that saved
me neatly and return it to the resting place of
the junk drawer, to light dormant until inevitably, sometime in
twenty forty, history will repeat itself and I will have
a similar problem. Because that's how this goes. Technology giveth,
(29:30):
technology taketh away. You can prepare, you can plan, you
can organize and control every aspect of a network radio
show until the cable goes bad in your remote studio
and the screen goes black and you're left there talking
into the void, faking confidence in the darkness. And that
(29:53):
is when you realize the day the monitor died was
not a tragedy. It was a test. And on that
day that happened Halloween morning, just yesterday, in that lonely
radio outpost at the Malor Mansion, the show, somehow, against
all odds, did go on. It did yeah, And somewhere
(30:17):
out there in the cosmos, the Great Don McLean is
strumming a new version Don mcleans strumming a new version
of American Pie. We're gonna call it Malarie Mallard Pie.
The day the monitor died, I started singing HDMI, My My,
Your life spans a lie, drove my show to the finish.
(30:40):
Through my notes they went awry, good old boys and
the mallein Militia cry. This will be the day that
I fry. And that is bad, and only you heard
it on this podcast. That's radio, one dead cable at
a time. Have a great rest of your Saturday, enjoy
(31:01):
all the college football. Be sitting on my ass. I
have plans to do nothing other than watch sports all day.
And the cool thing about it is I don't have
to do a full radio show. We will have full
Game seven coverage Danny g and I win, lose or
that's those are the only options. Dodgers and Blue Jays
that'll be exclusive, exclusive on the Fifth Hour podcast that
(31:24):
will not be available on the radio show. It will
all be about the World Series and we'll do some
mailback questions as well. So have a great Saturday. Thank
you for listening, and remember Benny Versus the Penny is
available as well on the YouTube Benni Vspenny Benni Vspenny.
You can check it out and we will catch you tomorrow. Aloha,
(31:47):
our our our It was later skater Danny. Yeah, okay,
Danny's telling me I need to say Asta pasta who. Yeah,
that's the ticket. I was impressed by the size, but
I'm not gonna lie Danny. That was a big cock Okay.
(32:08):
By Felicious
Kutbooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old Republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow, it's clearinghouse of
hot takes. Break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
(00:23):
with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
In the air everywhere The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben
Mallor and Danny G Radio. A Happy college Football Saturday. Well,
I'll be watching some college football this afternoon. Danny G
Radio will hopefully join me on the Sunday podcast, but
you're stuck with just me, your friend Ben here on
(00:50):
the Fifth Hour for the first time in the month
of November. It is the first day of November, and
if you live in a place, which is most places
where the time changes tonight on the overnight, there will
be the time change, so we have that to look
forward to, which means we like this, right, this is
the one we like because you get an extra hour
(01:10):
of sleep and all that, which is kind of cool.
On this edition of the Fifth Hour Podcast with Me
and Danny g who is producing this. We have Men
in Black, Santa Anita, and the Mallard Pie, and we're
combined all of these things together and we are going
to make a delicious, thick Chicago style pizza. Which I
(01:34):
have pointed out in the past to Tree in Chicago
and your Femi and some of those other guys. I
always thought, well, who wants to eat the pizza with
the tomato sauce on top? And then I had it
and I said, oh my god, this is one of
the greatest things I've ever had. Let's get right to it.
So again, Men in Black, Santa Anita, Malard Pie, we start.
Let's not waste any time. Do not waste the get
to the point. Please don't bury the lead, my man.
(01:56):
So we must address the snuffleopagus in the room, our lead.
On the Fifth Hour podcast from Toronto, we saw it
last night. Well, people were trigger treating and living their lives.
The Boys in Blue woke up from hibernation just in
time to set up what is going to be an
epic sports day today Game seven. And I'm now already annoyed.
(02:24):
It's been so often the last couple of years we've
heard the expression the greatest two words in sports. I've
heard it so much now I'm starting to hate it.
And I used to say it all the time, and
I mean everywhere, like, oh, the greatest two words. Okay,
I get it. It's good, it's gonna be fun, and
it is on. I don't geet going in Toronto. I'm
(02:45):
getting a lot of messages from Dodger people saying, well,
you were ripping them. You didn't think they were gonna win.
I never said they didn't think they were going to
win Game six. They had a huge pitching advantage with
Yamamoto on the mound. But the curtain call for the
twenty twenty five baseball season, and somehow, somehow, the Dodgers,
who have looked like they didn't know how to play
(03:08):
baseball in this World Series, are still standing right there,
barely barely. They needed Yamamoto to throw another gem just
to stay alive. Stay alive. The Bejee's and Mookie Bets.
Finally I got several emails. I tried to tell you,
you shouldn't have been mean to Mookie Betts. What's wrong
with you?
Speaker 2 (03:27):
I know.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Mookie Bets finally earned his per diem congratulations. First time
he's shown up all World Series two massive runs, batted
in two, Ribby's stop the presses. Oh my god, Mookie Betts,
who's got one of those forever contracts contributing in the
World Series. And I am convinced that many of you
(03:49):
who listened to the Overnight So I don't know how
many these people listen to the podcast. I have no idea.
I know the radio shows its own entity. I feel
like if you listen to this fifth hour podcast, we're
at a higher level because you're going out of your
way to find the content. Some people just happen to
listen because it's on when they're at work or whatever,
working into the factory. So I have a nightly talk show.
(04:12):
The job requires me to give opinions about what's going
on in sports. I know this is gonna be very
difficult for you and on a daily basis. My job
is not to lick the toes of the people I
talk about. That is not the job. The job is
to be critical, all right. If you want to lick
their toes and knock yourself out, that's not really what
I'm into. So Mookie Bets got it done. Good for him.
(04:34):
This is the malor tough love effect. We talked about
this often. You take the haymaker, you throw some body
blows body blow, body blow, body blow right at the athlete.
In this case, Mookie Bets. You rip them on the
radio show, you call them out and boof. He remembers,
wait a minute, I'm Mookie Bets. And the guy was
(04:56):
betting a buck thirty in the World Series and you
tell of you idiots wanted me to come out of
here and just kiss his ass, like what is wrong
with you? And he looked like he was swinging an
imaginary bat. He wasn't even a broomstick, an imaginary bat.
And then the game last night ending in epic fashion
(05:17):
the Blue Jays. It looked like it was gonna be
a total melt down here at the end. Dodgers had
a two run lead, Blue Jays had a golden opportunity,
the bases were packed, and it all went away on
three pitches thanks to a very crafty double play by
kik A and all those Blue Jay fans who were
wearing their powder blue hopping, hopping up and down, all excited,
(05:40):
and the game ends, and it was it was great.
So here's what's on the line tonight. If the Dodgers
win Game seven. They do exactly what they were supposed
to do. Congratulations, you did what you were supposed to
do when you showed up the spring training. This roster,
and again, I like the Dodgers. You shouldn't say this
means I'm just being honest. This roster is a collection
(06:03):
of baseball mercenaries, pampered, coddled, insulated from real life reality.
And all of that gets justified if they win, win
the championship, the hunk a medal. That's all you gotta do.
They were built for this moment. You don't spend a
billion dollars on payroll in the span of like a year.
(06:27):
You don't install Japanese style toilets to come in second place.
And don't forget two private jets. Two private jet adds
some jabbroni who's a fanboy in the media, and he
was getting upset. He's, oh, you shouldn't use the word coddle.
Every single Dodger player is coddled. They're the only professional
(06:47):
sports team. You think about the industrial complex of professional sports,
with all the Major League Baseball teams, the Pro Football,
the NBA, the NHL, all the industrial complex of sports,
the Dodgers are the only team to have two private
jets when they travel, one for the players, one for
the peasants. This isn't the sandblot. This is not a
(07:08):
feel good, pull yourself up from the bootstraps type story.
This is baseball's version of the TV show Dynasty or Secession. Right.
It's all about the money, the image, the ego, all
that stuff. You've got a bunch of guys and they're talented.
Good for them. They're making a lot of money. But
let's not pretend this is some kind of upstart baseball team.
They're ridiculously rich. And I know if they win the
(07:29):
World Series, they're gonna talk about all the adversity that
they overcame. It's gonna make me want to puke in
my mouth. And they get paid to play a kids game. Great, wonderful,
Good for you. The stakes are high. The stakes are
high mainly because of the fear factor. Mainly because of
the old show that Joe Rogan was on. Fear Factor.
Don't screw this up. Do not screw this up. If
the Dodgers lose this game tonight, oh boy, they're not
(07:51):
just getting second place, They're getting mocked into oblivion. Tight
Tukis syndrome is in play here. You can feel it.
Every guy and the Dodger dugout, gripping the bat like
it's a live grenade. And the ghost of playoff flops
of years gone by. And I'm going back to the
twenty seventeen season when the Astros cheated, twenty eighteen, when
(08:17):
they stumbled against the Red Sox, the ghosts of twenty
twenty one, twenty twenty two, twenty twenty three, they're all back. Ohokie, Now,
I know we've already gotten through the whole Halloween thing
that was yesterday. It's still Halloween weekend, even though it's
now in November. The postseason choke jobs are what I'm
(08:37):
all about, all right, We've seen it. We've seen it.
It makes for great talk radio. And the Dodgers gotta
be careful. I gotta avoid that, right the panic swings.
Dodgers certainly capable of a bullpen meltdown. That's the beauty
of postseason baseball and Game seven. None of it here's
the only thing. None of it. None of it matters.
The stats don't matter, the salary doesn't matter, the home
(09:01):
field advantage doesn't matter. The fans screaming. Doesn't matter. The spreadsheets,
the algorithms, the spin rates, the exit velocity, it doesn't matter.
It's all irrelevant. It's the men in black moment. You
zap the memory stick, You zap the memory stick. All
that matters is this game, this night. That's it. Everything
(09:22):
else goes out the door. All of it is subterfuge,
all of it. It's all about tonight. And I love it.
I love it, I love it. I love it. Now
the matchup, at least at the start, we have sho
Hey Otani versus Max Schurzer. It doesn't get more cinematic
than this. You've got the former Dodger Shuzer, God's gift
(09:43):
to baseball show Hey Otani, and Otani's gonna give you
what two or three innings tops, and then it's going
to be the conga line. The Dodgers will be calling
in a bunch of arsonists from the bullpen, and we'll
see how this goes here. Dave Roberts and the Nerds
planned to use what seven to eight guys by the
fifth inning. That's usually how this goes. It's gonna look
(10:05):
like an airport runway out there with all the bullpen traffic.
Now Scherzer, who screwed the Dodgers over against the Atlanta
Braves when he was briefly a Dodger that was in
I believe was one if I remember correctly, when Schuzer
was supposed to pitch Game six and then tapped out,
then blamed Dave Roberts. The Dodgers baby to him. They
(10:26):
coddled him too, and he still babied him. Said he
wasn't ready to pitch Game six, and so if they
lost it, he said, maybe I'll pitch Game seven. It
didn't work out. You know, Schurzer's got those crazy eyes.
He's got the glowing they're already going the different colors,
like he's walking out there as a volcano human volcano.
And the way I look at it in the Mallard
crystal Ball as a distant relative of Nostra donnis noster
(10:49):
demus and a friend of Nostra damas or vice versa.
It's early in the morning. Listen, he's either throwing no
hit ball or giving up six runs by the third inning.
There's really know in between. That's what my late cousin
Nos deemus noster Thomas would say. I don't know about
Nostra deems regardless, Make no mistake, this is a legacy game.
(11:11):
The Dodgers win, and they get the dynasty with the
capital D. Back to back champs. Baby, They'll sell all
the merch, they erase, all the noise, all the flops,
Mookie Bets sucking for one hundred games this season, Blake
Snell being coddled, taking three months off, Tyler Glass now
also being away and not being available, and that Max
(11:32):
Munsey getting hurt going away. All this stuff and all
the overpaid channer goes away. Now, if you lose, these
guys will be treated like vermin. Vermin, just a collection
of rich, loud ballplayers who are irrelevant and frauds underachievers.
(11:52):
And you win, you're the twenty twenties version of the
nineties Yankees, with Jeter and Bernie Williams and Paul O'Neill
and all those guys. You're more like the nineties Mets,
minus the fun, minus the fun. Now tonight not about
the long changel and launch angle. It's not about that,
although you'll probably hear a bunch about it. It's about Moxie.
(12:16):
Not my dog Moxie, the actual Moxie guts Ma Chiesmo.
It's about who tightens up, who chokes, and who shows
up and everything else again, all of it, it doesn't matter.
It's at first one to have the league get to
twenty seven outs. So buckle up, Buccaroo Game seven and
you can see off in the distance there on the horizon,
(12:36):
Donkey Kong's barrel is rolling and somebody, somebody's going down
that ladder. Now turning the page on that. We assume
you heard the news by now from the NFL. You
just knew someone was getting tossed overboard being excommunicated from
the Miami side of things. After the Ravens took the
(12:57):
Dolphins to the woodshed and the Dolphins got waxed, humiliated
pants in their own house, and less than twenty four
hours later, Boom goes to the Dynamite Chris Greer. Chris Greer,
the GM they said, mutually parting ways. That's bull crap.
That's a polite way of saying. We asked him to leave,
(13:20):
and he said, okay, So we've agreed. We're changing the locks.
Nobody leaves those jobs. We're changing the locks, the gate codes.
Changing your past key won't work to get in the
parking garage. You're cooked. Now. The timing on this is
why I'm not saying it's a wrong move. I would
make the move too. I would have gotten rid of
this guy a long time ago. The timing is wild, though.
(13:41):
If you look at your NFL textbook, you don't normally
fire the GM the week of the trade deadline. That's
like deciding to replace the chef in the middle of
the dinner rush and everyone in the kitchen is screaming
the soup's on fire. Over to the left, over to
the right, the main or d just quit. He's upset.
He wants to go do a podcast or something. And
(14:02):
you look at the Dolphins wide angle lens. This is
a country club operation. Everybody wears those white polos. They
talk about the analytics side of things, and nobody wants
to get their hands dirty. They don't. It's been that
way for years. They're dysfunction. I said it on the
monologue I did the other night during the week after
(14:24):
the game. I was like, the Dolphins are the Jets
and the Browns with palm trees and better weather. It's dysfunction.
It's like a membership perk, the dysfunction. They've got tea
times and Tiki drinks. Well, the roster just rots in
the South Beach sun. And they're not really running so
much an NFL franchise. It's like they're running the South
(14:47):
Florida resort. Welcome to Dolphin Bay Club. Please tip your
quarterback on the way out. Now, speaking of the quarterback,
can you and I have a conversation here? Is it
fair to say that Tua all of this upheaval is
about to a tongue of b looa, isn't it? I
see you nine in your head over there. They went
(15:08):
all in on him, They said, this is our guy,
this is our guy. It's kind of like going to
Santa Nita and betting all of your paycheck on a horse,
of course, and the horse was the wrong horse. You
bet on the wrong horse. The horse came to the
(15:29):
track and wanted to have a snack, not winning any races. Instead,
Let's get a lower mid tier plotter, no stallion at quarterback.
And Tua's not a bust. He is a functional, lower
level second tier quarterback. He's not a savior. Tua is
a wall, a beige wall. You don't hate a beige wall.
(15:54):
You don't. You don't form a really strong opinion about
a beige wall. You don't certainly post anything on social
media about a beij wall, and it doesn't make your
day any better. And now the bills have come due,
not the Buffalo bills. They poured champagne on mediocrity in
Miami for years and finally realize, at least for now,
(16:14):
it's flat now. Some of you, some of you sent
me a clip of a story that our former Fox
Sports radio warning guy Steven A. Smith came out saying,
oh brother, He says, oh brother gets fired first. I
think that was his line. I think that I'm trying
to remember it off the top of my head, implying
that the race card was played from the bottom of
(16:37):
the deck. Now, in the pantheon of bad takes, this
has to be right near the top. The guy lasted
ten freaking years as the GM in Miami. Ten years
is the GM in Miami? How many coaches did he
go through? And stephen A's take as well, this is
like the playing the race card ten years. That's like
dog years in NFL. I that's seventy years. That's a lifetime.
(16:59):
And you had as many wins. I had as many
wins as this guy had in the playoffs, zero Zippo squad,
Doush Squad, Doush in Dolphin's years. He's Don Shula and
the Mayflower combined. And you know what happens next. Now
every team in the league starts calling Miami in the
interim GM there, and it's like a yard seal, say, hey,
(17:21):
what do you want for Jaden Wall Jalen Wadle? What
can we get for him? I need a backup left tackle.
Can I get half off on your offensive line? There
is a nibble here, a nibble there, a nibble everywhere.
The vultures are circling over the three oh five right now.
Then you have Mike McDaniel twisting in the wind, twisting
(17:45):
in the wind. The guy's updating his resume, recording voice
demos for NPR coming up next on the Morning Espresso,
Why your lante art says more about your feelings and
your phone. Now, his next job's going to involve something
with oat milk. I don't know exactly what. Maybe he'll
be serving it, maybe he'll be talking about it. It
(18:06):
will not involve Tyreek Hill for Mike McDaniel, who has
been good for business, and I will be sad to
see him go. He's goofy. He is in way over
his head. He's not well spoken. He's a bit of
a clown, which makes for great talk radio. Now, the
other thing here, it's the same story every decade for
the Dolphins. Like that. You have to be really old
(18:28):
to remember when the Dolphins were good. The Dolphins are
a luxury car that keeps breaking down because they're too
busy polishing the hood to fix the engine. Hello, Miami
is where talented players go to tan not to win.
They need to borrow a case of suntan lotion from
(18:51):
Mike to Leprechaun and just tan not to win. They're
the four seasons of failure. Baby. They got great views
and apps, terrible results. All right now, Danny, g's just
give me this and he says, Beaniel, that's way too
much sports. He said, you talked about the Dodgers and
the Dolphins. Bad job by you put me in the
(19:13):
off at all. That's right, Danny, It is a bad
job by being So we're gonna turn the page here
and I will I will go behind the scenes. As
you know, the fifth hour, a lot of it is
about stuff that is not sports related. I know this
has been way too sporty. I apologize, so I'm going
to make up for it. It's story time on the
Ben Malor Podcast, a fifth hour podcast with Danny g
(19:33):
It's story time. So I've talked about this in the past.
Have you had those moments. We've all had those moments.
I've talked about them here on the show, in the
moment when you are reminded, in this case, that tech
can be a wreck, an absolute wreck. Now, I'm not
a technophobe. I use tech all the time. I have
an Apple Watch, i have an iPhone. I'm on my
(19:53):
laptop all the time. I have many fancy gadgets. But
every once in a while, when your fancy gadget and
redundant systems, all those clever little conveniences of the modern
world that we all share, they gang up on you
at once. Now. I had mine the other morning, deep
(20:13):
into the overnight show, in that strange half alive, half
asleep time when many North American night owls are still awake.
And then there's those people that are the early birds,
not just the night owls, the early birds that get
up early to get to work, and we do better.
It's wow. I tell people all the time, We actually
have more people listening the end of the show than
(20:34):
we do the beginning because we were doing early morning drive,
that five am Eastern hour. It is pumping, right, But
the rest of the world, not everyone gets up early.
Most people don't, and not everyone stays up all night.
So the rest of the world's gone to bed. And
there I am, my fat ass in the remote broadcast studio,
the out post I call the Malor Mansion, and the
(20:55):
lights were low, the microphone was red hot, slaving away
over a red hot microphone. The bells, the whistles, the
sound effects, the orchestra, a cacophony of sounds, the overnight absurdity,
all that all ready to go. We were working, I
mean we were working. The show was humming along, the
(21:16):
last live radio show of the week, three hours in.
Everything fine, not the greatest show, not the worst show.
That's where you wanted, that sweet spot right in the middle,
and then with about and I'm I didn't jog down
the time. I was a little flustered, about thirty minutes
to go before the finish line. I made a fatal error.
Now at the time I did not realize it was
(21:36):
a fatal er. What was my error. I reached for
my drink. Now, to me, this is a rather benign act.
There's nothing exotic here, no monster energy. There was no
quadruple espresso from Starbucks, just ice water, like the rice
cake of beverages, the dull, guilt free elixir of the
somewhat health conscious gas bag man. And so as I
(22:01):
set the drink down somewhere in what was a very
simple thing to do, Fate stepped in. What are you
talking about?
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Like?
Speaker 1 (22:12):
At that moment I put the drink down, I didn't
slam it down. I didn't. It wasn't like I was
trying to win a contest at the State Fair where
you got to bring the hammer of God down. So
I put the thing down, and the screen in front
of me in the remote studio goes black, not dim,
not flickering black. The monitor, the brains of my operation,
the compass of the of the show. Prep you'll put
(22:34):
everything up there. The bullet points had flat line, had
flat line. Now there's no you can't call nine to
one one because your monitor doesn't work. You can't. What
do you do? So here I was staring into the abyss,
and the abyss it turned out was HDMI static because
I kind of pushed the thing a little bit. And
now let me tell you something that there were two
kinds of talk shows in the world. There's the Type A.
(22:57):
The boy Scouts are broadcasting that copious amounts of preparation,
like they're writing the Magna cartera right, and they live
in the bullet points and preparation, and they over prepare,
so instead of preparing for a four hour show, they're
ready to do eight hours of talk radio. So that's
(23:17):
the Type A. And then on the other side of
the aisle you have the Type B. These are the
wild cards, often ex jocks, offen x jocks, and they
throw through the They kind of float through life on
charisma and resume and you know, I was a jock,
my opinion matters. And they often don't do any preparation. Uh,
(23:38):
they just read maybe it's ESPN's website or whatever, it's
on the homepage, and that's it. Unfortunately, and I blame
my parents with this. I'm I'm the first kund I'm
the Type A trapped in a Type B profession. And
when the monitor went dark, I wasn't just flying blind.
I was naked. No notes, no rundowns, no cheat sheets,
(24:00):
just a man a mic and the rising panic of
realizing that my brain had become a floppy disc. Okay,
And here's the thing about doing the job. And I've
done it so long, it just blows me away how
fast time has gone. I feel like I'm still just starting.
But I've been here a long time, and for as
(24:21):
long as I've done talk radio. At some point it
just becomes muscle memory, right, And it's one of those
things you do it so long you can fake it
till you make it. And so I did what I
guess the professionals do. I just pretended everything was fine,
the show must go on, and blah blah blah blah
(24:42):
blah blah blah blah blah. Not one listener had any
clue that behind the scenes, I was in a full
blown sweat lodge, that the remote studio had turned into
a hot sauna, doing yoga anxiety sweat flop, sweat, stress, sweat,
the Holy Trinity. Now keep it in mind, I was
fiddling with chords. I tapped the back of the monitor.
(25:05):
I give it the old Fonsi treatment. That's a dated reference. Nothing.
The lights were on in the studio, but no one
was home in HDMI land. So following the show, I
made it through the last half hour or so of
the show, and when the show finally ended, I did
the old exhale like a man who had just survived
a hostage situation. Then I had to do the post mortem.
(25:28):
I do the autopsy, the cause of death. It turned
out it was indeed one deceased HDMI cable. It had
crossed the pearly gates into that digital heaven. There was
no warning, there was no smoke, just gone, gone, gone,
a humble little chord, the unsung hero of the modern age.
(25:49):
It had connected my computer to the monitor through years
of Mallard monologus, cheating scandals, gambling scandals or meltdowns about
Dave Roberts yapping about the Jets and the Browns and this,
that and the other thing, and it had done its
duty with pride, with honor. It had stayed very quiet,
(26:12):
and now it had moved on. And that, my friend,
and you being a real p one by listening to
this who listened to this podcast religiously, That is when
I discovered a new law of being a mid middle
aged broadcast guy. For every dead HDMI cable, there are
just one and only one. You know, the replacement is
(26:35):
buried somewhere in your house. So of course what did
I do? I went on what I can only describe
as a malar scavenger hunt. Now I know that your house.
I don't know where you live. I don't, I mean,
you don't know really where I live, and if you do,
you're a stocker. But every household has that junk drawer,
and it gets bigger and bigger the older you get.
(26:56):
You know, the one where you good intentions go to die.
You put the old remote in there, You put the
old keys, the expired batteries, the triple A card from
seven just in case, your old wallets. You put screws, screwdrivers.
You have that lone Allen wrench from the thing you
(27:18):
bought at Ikea. The bookshelf that you don't even own,
the bookshelf you put that on offer up a couple
of years ago. So I went through the I went
through the junk drawers, you know, things that I just
tossed aside, until finally, under a mass of mystery cables
and old keys and all that crap and takeout menus,
(27:39):
there was my ex caliber A backup HDMI cable likely
installed in that drawer during the Obama administration, and still
coiled neatly as if it was waiting for this day.
It had been waiting, and here was its moment. It
would once again be called into service. And I took
(28:02):
that HDMI cable and I walked down about a hallway,
and then I went up some stairs, and I went
up some more stairs. I made a right turn, I
made another right, went down a long hallway, and then
I had a fork in the road. I could go
to the right or the left. I went to the left,
and I walked into the remote studio, and that thing
was called into service. I plugged it in. The screen
(28:25):
blinked to life. The static was gone, and just like that,
the prodigital monitor had returned. The monitor was back, Baby,
it was back. So the thing about spare tires and
this was a spare HDMI cable. The thing about spirit
tires and spare HDMI cables is that they're not solutions.
(28:46):
They are a stoppage of the problem. There, stop gap bandage, whatever.
There are symbols of survival, and this one, this one's
already unborrowed time. So I'll make the pilgrimage at some point,
maybe today, BEFO for the Dodger game. I'll go over
to Best Buy, maybe today, Or I'll surrender to the
(29:07):
algorithm overlords of Amazon and order a replacement. And when
it arrives, I will coil the old one that saved
me neatly and return it to the resting place of
the junk drawer, to light dormant until inevitably, sometime in
twenty forty, history will repeat itself and I will have
a similar problem. Because that's how this goes. Technology giveth,
(29:30):
technology taketh away. You can prepare, you can plan, you
can organize and control every aspect of a network radio
show until the cable goes bad in your remote studio
and the screen goes black and you're left there talking
into the void, faking confidence in the darkness. And that
(29:53):
is when you realize the day the monitor died was
not a tragedy. It was a test. And on that
day that happened Halloween morning, just yesterday, in that lonely
radio outpost at the Malor Mansion, the show, somehow, against
all odds, did go on. It did yeah, And somewhere
(30:17):
out there in the cosmos, the Great Don McLean is
strumming a new version Don mcleans strumming a new version
of American Pie. We're gonna call it Malarie Mallard Pie.
The day the monitor died, I started singing HDMI, My My,
Your life spans a lie, drove my show to the finish.
(30:40):
Through my notes they went awry, good old boys and
the mallein Militia cry. This will be the day that
I fry. And that is bad, and only you heard
it on this podcast. That's radio, one dead cable at
a time. Have a great rest of your Saturday, enjoy
(31:01):
all the college football. Be sitting on my ass. I
have plans to do nothing other than watch sports all day.
And the cool thing about it is I don't have
to do a full radio show. We will have full
Game seven coverage Danny g and I win, lose or
that's those are the only options. Dodgers and Blue Jays
that'll be exclusive, exclusive on the Fifth Hour podcast that
(31:24):
will not be available on the radio show. It will
all be about the World Series and we'll do some
mailback questions as well. So have a great Saturday. Thank
you for listening, and remember Benny Versus the Penny is
available as well on the YouTube Benni Vspenny Benni Vspenny.
You can check it out and we will catch you tomorrow. Aloha,
(31:47):
our our our It was later skater Danny. Yeah, okay,
Danny's telling me I need to say Asta pasta who. Yeah,
that's the ticket. I was impressed by the size, but
I'm not gonna lie Danny. That was a big cock Okay.
(32:08):
By Felicious
Fox Sports Radio News
Host
Jonas Knox
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