August 30, 2025 • 29 mins
Ben Maller & Danny G. Radio have a fun Saturday podcast for you! They talk: Olympic Like, Daycare with No Care, Rear Window Wankers, & more!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kabooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to Clearinghouse of
hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
(00:23):
with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
In the air everywhere, The Fifth Hour with me, Ben
Mahler and Danny g Radio and a happy, happy Saturday
to you. The college Football Saturday. We are hanging out
early on this thirtieth day of August a massive college
(00:50):
football game. It's on Fox early this morning. As we're
doing this here, Danny Ohio State, the buck Guys, the
reigning champions of college football, and the Texas Longhorns. So
we're going to counter program that because most people who
are going to listen to this podcast are going to
be listening after that game is long gone, and so
(01:12):
we're just going to do the normal Fifth Hour podcast here. However,
we will be watching. I might take a nap and
go back and watch the second half of the game.
It's rather early, but Nonetheless, Danny, we're ready to go.
Here on this podcast, we have Olympic like daycare with
no care and a rear window wisdom situation. But we
(01:33):
begin with is now. On the previous edition of the
Fifth Hour back on Friday, I told some stories about
going to Vegas, and I have been going to Las
Vegas for a long time. I can't believe how long
it's been. Now over thirty years, I believe I've been
going to Las Vegas. I have seen seen it all,
the old mob era residue. Now, when I was younger
(01:55):
and I was a kid, my parents would take me
to Vegas, and you still, even as a you knew
that there was some there was some like rat pack
type stuff going on. There was still some of the
remnants of old Vegas, the nostalgia. And over the years
we've had the mega resorts that you can go to
Vegas and all of a sudden you're supposed to be
in Perie or New York or Rome or wherever in
(02:17):
the middle of the desert, which I think should have
stopped human life sometime, should have stopped supporting human life
sometime back, I don't know, in the nineteen forties or
something like that or fifties. But anyway, I watched Vegas
turn from a place where you go there, you get
a free drink, you can play the penny slots, and
(02:39):
now you go there and they want you to pay
twenty dollars to put ice in your water glass and
fifty dollars if you want to view of the kitchen.
So where are the white women at.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
Ben When we were kids, our moms were able to
get photographed nude by Sammy Davis Junior.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Yeah, yeah, and Sinatra would make sure the photos were okay.
But it's the biggest scam.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
And I love Vegas pulled our moms out of the crowd.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
I know, I know it was Listen, the main issue,
my biggest problem with Vegas. And again I like it.
You know, it's a good place to visit all that stuff.
The biggest scam is this parking thing. Now. I was
told years ago the reason they charged for parking in
Vegas is because the hockey team, the NHL. You can
(03:28):
blame Gary Bettman. When they moved the NHL team, the
expansion team went to Vegas. They're like, well, every team
has to get revenue from parking, and we can't get
any revenue. Because the arena is right behind the MGM,
right across from like New York, New York to that area.
MGM's across the street. People are just gonna park free.
We're not gonna get revenue. Said, fine, we're gonna charge
(03:49):
for parking at the hotels around the arena, and then
the other people, well, people are gonna park further away,
they're gonna walk. Well, okay, then we have to charge
parking for the all the other hotels and so. But
parking is it's got to be the least clamorous word
in the English language. And where I come from, Danny,
it's supposed to be free. I come from a state
(04:11):
with free parking. It's asphalt, it's some white paint, that's it,
that's all. And parking lots are supposed to just kind
of be there. You don't really pay attention to them,
you don't pay for them. And there are places you
believe your vehicle and go spend your money. But in
Las Vegas right now, parking has somehow become a luxury
(04:32):
commodity in Vegas, and it's embarrassing. Right on Friday, I'll
tell you the story, Dan. On Friday last week, I
did the overnight show, and then we had a day
to kind of futs around and move around, and then
Saturday was the event. So my wife and I I
ended up spending I showed out eighty dollars for parking
(04:55):
on Friday in Vegas. Eighty dollars. I did not realize
this because my wife booked the hotel. The hotel we
were staying at, which I will not name because I
don't want to get sued. Fifty dollars to park at
the hotel. Yeah, fifty dollars the park at the hotel.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
It's horrible.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
It's ridiculous. And so then my wife said, well, I
want to see a show, and so she she got
tickets to see this Dita vonteee. She wanted to see
the show. And I have no interest in that show.
But as you know, Danny, through the marriage license, I
am required to attend. What was the show, Dita von
Teese type, Yeah, exactly. But I was the chaperone, and
(05:35):
you know, I was there kind of standing in the
background and minding my own business and all that stuff.
But I couldn't get over eighty dollars, Danny. I've been
to New York many times. My brother's in her eighty
dollars is Manhattan parking parts of Manhattan. It's it's low
end parking, manhat eight dollars, midtown Manhattan, Valet with the
(05:56):
top down type money. And this is Las Vegas, where
last I checked, they have plenty of land there, Danny,
I mean there's lots of land. They're not short on
land in Vegas. They can build more parking lots if
they want, and they have a lot of open space.
So another part of this to tell a story with you.
On the fifth hour here, when we got to Vegas
(06:18):
after the long drive we had to do the show
that night, my wife wanted to Valet. Now you know, Danny,
my position on Valet parking. Yes, I have taken a
strong position of anti Valet parking. She wanted, he always
wants to Valet. Valet to her is civilization. It's progressed.
(06:41):
To me, Valet parking is extortion with somebody wearing a
bow tie. And I of course said no. I was
in no mood, driving and trying to get ready for
the show, so I pulled out my executive marriage powers
and I said, no, not going to do it. And
I said I will be the valet. I will take
every single bag to the room. Don't worry about it.
(07:05):
You can tip me if you want, I'll do it.
And so here's the catch. Though my wife does not
pack light, Danny, I think your wife's probably similar to mine.
Like when I go somewhere by myself, I will pack
like a college sophomore trying to get away from the
dorm for a couple of days. I like my suit case.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
You need one backpack probably, or one tote.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Bag exactly, one bag, a couple of shirts, a couple
of boxer shorts, a pair of shorts, maybe a toothbrush
if I remember, maybe deodorant if I remember. Now, my
wife packs like she's about to circumnavigate the globe in
a hot air balloon and she doesn't know where she's
gonna land, whether it'll be cold or hot, and she
(07:48):
needs everything, and it's just unbelievable, right, I'm pretty sure
if she could bring an ottoman from the home, she
would just be why not we need an automan. We
don't need an to me where a hotel? I want
an ottoman. Okay, bring the ottoman. I'll carry it into
the room. So I mean it's any So here I
am the self appointed bell hop shuddling luggage like a
(08:12):
you know, some kind of sherpa, hauling gear up Mount
Everest and all of this because of course I refuse
to pay some someone there in a red vest, what
was it, thirty bucks or whatever to do valet parking.
And so I thought I won. I thought I won, Danny,
except as you know when you're when you're married, winning
(08:36):
these little battles, I'll tell you what the compass it's
like winning a coin toss and then fumbling the kickoff,
because well, you won the coin toss, but we gave
the ball up. We fumbled the kick returner fumbled the ball. Well,
you won the coin toss, but we fumbled the ball.
Now technically you're ahead because you won the coin toss,
(08:57):
but you don't really feel feel like you're your head.
And the whole weekend carried out with she had a
sour taste. She was upset. I didn't valet, and I
was getting upset because every bill came with a service fee.
Every drink was priced like it was blessed by the pope,
you know. And I'm like, we can just go to Costco,
(09:17):
buy some booze and have a great time.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
Oh boy, you're sounding more and more like Rob Parker.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
I know I'm turning into Rob Pert and Vegas has
turned into the it's the Olympics, It's the nickel and
dime Olympics. You gotta have the bones, like you don't
just lose your money at the table. I'm okay if
I bet a three team parlay, which it's a sucker bet,
and I lose. Fine, if I bet on the Cleveland
Guardians because Dick and Dayton told me to bet on them,
(09:43):
and I lose, I'm fine, But to lose on all
this all you lose at the tables, but you lose
in your room. You lose plugging your phone into the wall.
I think they charged for that. The why fi you
lose just breathing the oxygen they pump into the casinos
(10:05):
to keep you awake. You lose it that everything's a loss.
And the thing that really drove me nutstanding and I
want to.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Definitely lose lung capacity inhaling all that cigar smoke.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
Well, yeah, as I said, I and I think it
was yesterday's podcast, Like I had a raspy voice doing
the show because I walked through the casino and everyone
was smoking and it messed my voice up. But the
thing that really annoyed me too is the wife kind
of shrugged. I was complaining about how much they were
gouging us with all these ridiculous fees, and my wife
kind of shrugged, and she said, well, this is just
(10:38):
how it is, Ben, you know, this is just how
it is. And she's probably right, that's just how it is.
And maybe Vegas doesn't have to offer free parking anymore
because they know that people will keep coming back no
matter what, even though the tourism numbers are down, but
the people are just sheep, especially from La and you know,
it's like sheep to the shearing shed and lemmings off
(11:03):
the cliff and all that. And they've built this empire
on the assumption that no one will actually ever say no,
Like they keep raising prices because no one will ever
say no, and there's enough people that'll go that'll make
it work. And the worst part is they're probably right.
And I know that I'll be back and I'll complain
(11:23):
about it next time I go. And Danny, I know
you'll you're not happy about the prices either, but you'll
be back, right, You'll go back and we'll all go
back and I'm gonna scream and shout, and you eighty
dollars parking for a couple hours on asphalt and seeing
neon lights off in the distance and all that stuff.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
And you know, try having your favorite NFL football team
in that city. Oh I know, oh man. I mean
thanks to you last season, I was able to see
a game and I didn't have to pay for tickets,
but I still had to pay for everything else involved.
And it is similar to going to an amusement park
in California or flying maybe to Disney World in Florida.
(12:04):
You get taxed because they know you're gonna pay it.
Everybody loves it that much that they know they have
you buy the balls. It's kind of like when our pets,
our animals get sick. The vet has us by the
you know what, So we're gonna pay through the nose.
We're just gonna do it.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Yeah, no, I know. I just want to clarify though,
again they're in They call it the hospitality business, Danny.
A lot of those people that work at hotels, they
got degrees in hospitalities, people that run the hotels. But
let me tell you something. Hospitality is supposed to mean, Hey,
we're glad you're here. We're really happy to see you. Man,
is it great, We're really man, we're very hospitable. In
(12:42):
Vegas right now, it means we're glad that you're trapped.
That's the real magic. You're turning robbery in broad daylight
into customer service and hospitality. That's the Vegas way right now.
And at some point there will be an epiphany. They'll
lower the price, they'll make a big deal. They'll spend
a lot of money on radio commercials and podcast commercials
(13:04):
and TV commercials, and then it'll be nice. And then
slowly they'll raise the prices back up, because that's the
way it works, nanny like cable television. Remember how happy
people wore court cutters get rid of cable television, and
now you end up most people end up with just insane,
insane bills because they've got all these streaming services and
(13:26):
it's ridiculous. You know what I need, Danny's, I need daycare.
That's what I need. I need my own daycare at
this point, my god.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
Yeah, here, you need to run a daycare because you'd
make ten times more money than broadcasting. I don't want
this to sound like two old guys yelling through microphones.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
No lie, no bs.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
I'm just at this point, I'm just over it. I'm
gonna be a what's the fancy way to say nanny?
If you're a male nanny, O pair, remember that from
Jerry maguire.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
You remember that.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
We have a dilemma right now. My better half an
eye CoA. He needs daycare. He needs some sort of preschool,
even though he's not ready for the caterpillar room yet.
Obviously they still have these daycare centers, but especially in California.
And I'm sure whatever state you're in listening right now,
you know daycare is an issue in our country. Now,
(14:22):
Ben the prices you were talking about Vegas, at least
you're there having fun. Imagine having a toddler in your
life right now and trying to navigate our world. Daddy.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Yeah, no, it's not easy. I know. It's not a
lot of hidden costs, which I guess are not really
that hidden, you kind of know.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Going into town, not hidden at all. In fact, they
have these prices posted when you walk into the lobby
of this Monassory school, so Montassori in essence, they like
to teach kids real world living rather than fantasy. So
instead of all these colorful toys from Target and games
(15:00):
and board games, they go like gray dishes and glass
bowls and things made out of wood. They're thinking is,
let's have these kids work with things that are in
the house instead of you know, make believe. Will do
real world type stuff, which that doesn't sound fun for
(15:21):
a toddler.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
No, you want to play it around with a bunch
of plastics.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
CoA wants a fricking car from Cars from Disney. He
wants Mader the truck. He wants you know, Lightning McQueen.
That's his thing right now. He doesn't want a glass bowl.
So what we see these kids through that we make
an appointment for this Monassory school in our city. We
bring Cole with us to this appointment. There's this one
(15:47):
sided glass window where you can look in at these kids.
They're in a fish bowl and it looked like they
were in a little jail. It looked like they were
imprison in there, these poor bastard little kids. This director,
she takes us outside to the play area, which, by
the way, the artificial turf. Okay, fine, whatever, but next
(16:07):
to the turf was a brick wall. CoA is gonna
take three steps toward this wall trip and knock his
big noggin right into the bricks. That was a check
mark against them, the biggest check mark of all though.
We get back to the lobby. She hands us a
pamphlet for this place, and I saw some of the
(16:29):
prices hanging up on the wall in there too, and
they were in small print. Good for them, They should
make the print even smaller. What do you think a
half day at this monassory school would cost a parent?
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Okay, so this is the menu, all right? Let me
do some math on this.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Me.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
I'm gonna do some malor math in real time. So
let's say how many How many hours is a half.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
Day from eight thirty am to twelve thirty at lunchtime?
Speaker 1 (16:57):
So four hours, I'm gonna say. If it's I'll go high.
Oh man, what are they try? It's like twenty five
an hour or something like that? Is that? Is that
what they're doing?
Speaker 3 (17:07):
Oh man? If it was twenty five an hour, we
would have had cod in one of these places a
long time ago, all.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
Right, So I would have come up with twenty five
an hour, which I think is like one hundred and
twelve dollars or something that I'm way off.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
Yeah, they want two hundred and forty dollars per half day.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
Wait, wait, two hundred and forty four is four and
a half hours. You say, all right, let me do
the math on that. That means.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
Four four hours, four hours, eight thirty to twelve thirty.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
That is sixty dollars an hour. Holy crap, Yeah, sixty
dollars an hour. So what they got to pay somebody?
How much they pay something thirty dollars an hour? Then
they keep thirty on top of that. Is that how
that goes?
Speaker 3 (17:45):
I bet? I bet you The teachers get twenty five.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Okay, So then they make the extra, They make it
thirty five on top of that.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
What a freaking joke. As we're in the lobby and
now I see Brenda's eyes light up as she's looking
through the pamphlet it and I had already seen, like
I said, I had already saw it on the wall,
so I already had one foot out the door. I'm like,
f this place, what sixty dollars an hour? So that
they can play with a glass bowl. If it's sixty dollars,
(18:12):
it better look like fucking Disneyland in this joint, like
it better be a place CoA is dying to get
to every day, right.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
And of course, while CoA is playing with the bowl,
the person sust to be washing was on their phone.
You know.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
Yeah, the bull's about to be on his head, cutting
off his breathing. CoA sees something in the lobby that
he wants his hands on. It's like some stupid plant
they had in there, like a small plant, almost looked
like a cactus. I don't know why they would have
that around kids. He sees it, he wants it. I
tell him, no, that's not your plant. You can't have that.
(18:45):
Now he starts to throw a fit. He is starting
to melt down. I politely excuse myself and I take
him outside the front entrance door. So now he's outside,
I set him down. He runs towards their bushes. He
starts like terminator, pulling flowers and leaves and branches down,
and he's going he's going full on stitch and he's wrecked.
(19:08):
Oh he's screaming. Record Yeah he went now from screaming
because of something he couldn't have to. I am gonna
mess up their entire front entrance area. So he's throwing
flowers and leaves, and I see this director looking outside
the glass doors, and I'm like, oh my god, she's
not gonna want this kid for eighty dollars an hour.
(19:29):
He's throwing a huge fit. Obviously Brenda now sees. She's like, okay, bye.
She comes out. She's like, let me, let me pick
him up. She picks them up. He is like slapping
at her, And that's what toddlers do. They if they
get that mad, they start pinching at you. And if
they don't want to be held, they don't want to
be held. We get them back to the car. He
is flipping the f out the entire ride home. He
(19:52):
is going bananas. He won't stop screaming. We get him
inside and we calm him down, and everything ben. The
very next day, twenty four hours later, oh oh, he
is throwing up all over the living room, all over
his pajamas. He is sicker than a sick dog. He
(20:13):
obviously got something from that damn germ factory that they
call a monatssory school.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
Dad's got the barf bucket.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
That is so smart, because he threw that tantrum. We
didn't do our usual parent routine, which is slather the
uh you know the hand sanitizer.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, the hands. Yeah. I try to forget
about that after the pandemic.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
But yeah, you got kids though. You can never forget
about hand sanitizer. In fact, you always have it in
your pocket. You always have it latched onto your bag
or your keys. And in this case, we have the
spray kind, so we're usually spray like. It's like Banaka,
We're spraying it in his mouth. So he got something
(20:59):
so bad from that damn place. It's now been over
a week later. He is still sick.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Really.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
Yes, we had to take him to the er. They
had to give him breathing treatments. This is the most
sick this kid has ever been.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
You killed it.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Wow. What are you gonna do though? Is there other options?
Are you? Like? I don't know what you're gonna Yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:24):
I think we're gonna have to keep doing what we've
been doing, which is I take the morning shift. She
takes the afternoon shift when I'm on the Covino and
Rich show, and then at night after post production, I
get back home and I relieve her. We kind of
we're like a tag team wrestling duo, and that's how
we're gonna have to keep doing it. The problem is
(21:45):
that morning shift, she's upstairs doing her job remotely, and
he knows she's up there, so if he's not in
a good mood, he's screaming and crying because he knows
she'll come down the stairs. So he has been interrupting
her workflow and that's been that has been our biggest challenge.
I don't know how we're going to get through this,
But everybody say a little prayer for Okay, for Brenda. Yeah,
(22:07):
because there's no way in hell we have that in
the budget to pay for even a better place that
had less germs and more colorful toys. But man, we're
at a standstill now. This is like just hitting your
head up against a brick wall if you're a parent.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
Yeah. Well, if you have any suggestions, you can email
in real fifth hour at gmail dot com. We have
a mail bag tomorrow and if we don't get it
to get to it tomorrow, we can do it next
week on the mail bag. Too bad, they don't have
chuck e cheese anymore. Like the old school, you just
throw the kid in the chucky cue.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
Well, one place they do have which is about a
seven eight minute drive from our house. They have one
of those indoor playgrounds, which cool you see in a
lot of towns. Nowadays, it's Blippy's favorite place to hang out.
We got them a monthly pass. That is one trick
I do to at least get them out and give
her a little bit of time, maybe an hour hour
and a half as I take them to that indoor playground,
(22:58):
which you have to hover over the kids so they
don't kill themself, and you have to spray their hands
with the sanitizer every few minutes. But at least it's
something where he's exercising and he's out of the house.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
There you go, I hear you. Well, this is the
fifth hours called how Much Can You Complain? That's and
I'm going to continue the tradition. I got one more.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
Yeah, no, but it's real life though in our age
in our age group, unfortunately, we run into all these
damn issues that cost a lot of money.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
Yeah, and complaining is the last noble American pastime. It
really is. When people, you know, people come and go
with different things. I like baseball for a while, maybe
you hate baseball, You like the NFL. Maybe you're down
on the NFL. You know, pickleball. It's a fad, right people.
Complaining is eternal. So here's my latest complaint. There's there's
too much begging in the world right now. I realize
(23:48):
that I'm a guy that put weed Man Hippie on
the radio for years and all he did was beg
for money. But I don't mean begging like your dog
or you know, eating, You know, I want a sandwich
or something, our kid wants a toy or something like that.
What I mean is the full on handout, Please give
me something begging. You walk into a grocery store and
there's a person outside asking for a dollar to save something,
(24:11):
you know, something something dying or whatever of the environment.
You walk inside and there's a corporate charity drive asking
you for a couple of dollars. Even when you check
out at self checkout, they say, would you'd like to
round up the bill to save a turtle and Galopagos
or something? And you're You're like, well, what am I?
(24:33):
What am I supposed? I can't say no, can I?
I mean, I can't let the turtle down? And of
course I say no all the time. But here's the
thing I am prepared for that, Danny. I know that's coming.
I know the circle of life. And you go to stores,
there's people outside begging. You go in the store, there begging.
What I'm not prepared for is when I'm on the
highway and begging. The highway to me, is supposed to
(24:57):
be a sanctuary from that. You're in your car, you're
alone with your thoughts. You've got either bad sports talk
radio on or some crappy music or something. You're you're
shouting at the traffic app on your phone because it
sent you through some off ramp and Van Eyes. You
don't need to go to Van Eys. Why did it
send you to Van Eyes? But it said you're on
(25:18):
the fastest route anyway, and uh, but you're free from
all that other stuff, except you're not. So let's go
in the hot tub time machine. The other day, and
people have now decided that the rear window is a
GoFundMe page. Have you seen this, Danny, I've seen this
multiple times. The other day, I'm driving on the four
(25:39):
h five to the one on one already the eighth
circle of Hell, right right, It's just a nightmare. And
the car in front of me had written you know
that that kind of chalky writing. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
Sometimes you'll see like a youth team won a championship.
Yeah yeah, they write that across the back.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
So that they had giant letters on the back of
this car. It's my birthday, Buy me a coffee. And
then they had the venmo at whatever you know, whoever
was hit the hell out of here. Yeah. So suddenly
I'm trapped in a fundraising campaign while I'm driving on
a one oh one. Now I have a few questions
about this number. One does anyone actually send these people money? Danny, Like,
(26:22):
is there some guy out in Sherman Oaks who's thinking,
you know what, that brown Corolla over there?
Speaker 3 (26:28):
No enough, This would have to be a hot blonde
driving this vehicle for this ploy to work, because I've
seen this online on social media. I've seen girls post
a picture they are wearing next to no clothes and
they're like, it's my birthday month, buy me a drink,
and then they put their link for you to give
them some money. And you know, suckers out there send
(26:50):
them money and like have a drink. I mean they
think they're gonna score with that girl down the line.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Yeah. And the term for this. You're absolutely right, Danny.
Great minds think alike. I was thinking about this as
I was driving, and it's PGP. It's pretty girl privilege, right,
if you're a hot chick, you can make money off that.
If I did that, I'd get laughed at and people
would point at me. And if I said, it's my birthday,
(27:15):
buy me a coffee at the car, nobody's venmoing me anything.
They're honking because I'm holding up traffic. They're reporting me
for vandalism, saying what do you do the car?
Speaker 3 (27:26):
They'd probably venmo you fifty cents so they could write
a mean comment and it would get to you.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Well, that's like when Robbie the Mariner fan alleged I
think it was Robbie. Weed Man kept begging for money,
and I don't know it was a Robbie or justin
one of those schmucks. They sent weed Man like as
low as I don't think it was one cent, but
it's as low as you could possibly send, and it
was it was really low, and weed Man was all
excited because he had a notification that he got money,
and then he clicked on and it was like a
(27:53):
few cents and it was really not good. But the
hot girl thinks true. Like a pretty girl, privilege is legit.
And you know, bunch, as you said, Danny, a bunch
of dudes. I like, oh, I could score with that chick,
you know. And of course she leans into it because
she knows she's going to get stuff, so she's embracing
her her hotness. And so there you go. And by
the way, how do you prove it's your birthday?
Speaker 2 (28:14):
Like?
Speaker 1 (28:14):
Is anyone checking? Is there is like an ID scanner
on the one oh one maybe when you go around
the Hollywood Bowl or something like that, and it's your birthday?
All right?
Speaker 3 (28:23):
This could be like Christmas lights where the person leaves
it up the whole year.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
Yeah, it's my birthday. Send me twenty bucks every day
it's been your birthday. What about yesterday? Every day for
a month it's my birthday. So anyway, that's where I'm at.
You know, begging has invaded every part of life, even
when you're driving. I saw two of these cars two
and I was like, come on.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
You know, I'm making fun of this idea, but I'm
also writing down notes because now I know how I'm
gonna raise money for daycare.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
Yeah, there you go say, uh, but you see you're
not the hot chick though, so I don't know that's
gonna probably would work, you know, but you can give
it a shot anyway. Happy birthday to everyonecause apparently it's
everyone's birthday every effing day. You just write it on
the car. There, that's it, and you're you know, rear wisdom,
real rear window wisdom. I will get out on that, Danny.
(29:09):
Have a great Saturday. I'm gonna be settling into the
sofa watching college football. Cannot wait all day long. I
got my schedule and really all weekend. This is a
big college football weekend. No NFL till next week, so
we got that to look forward to.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
Yeah, what do you think about the Texas game? Who's winning?
Speaker 2 (29:26):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Yeah, I'm going with the Buck guys. I don't believe
in the the hype for the Texas Longhorns, so I'm
going which means bet the house on Texas. But I'm
going with the Buck guys. What about you, I'm with you? Actually, Okay,
there you go. We're an agreement.
Speaker 3 (29:39):
So so double put your money on the other team.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Longhorns will win by twenty points. All right, have a
wonderful day. We'll talk to you tomorrow. See you for
the mail bag. Asta pasta, My Felicia
Kabooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to Clearinghouse of
hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
(00:23):
with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
In the air everywhere, The Fifth Hour with me, Ben
Mahler and Danny g Radio and a happy, happy Saturday
to you. The college Football Saturday. We are hanging out
early on this thirtieth day of August a massive college
(00:50):
football game. It's on Fox early this morning. As we're
doing this here, Danny Ohio State, the buck Guys, the
reigning champions of college football, and the Texas Longhorns. So
we're going to counter program that because most people who
are going to listen to this podcast are going to
be listening after that game is long gone, and so
(01:12):
we're just going to do the normal Fifth Hour podcast here. However,
we will be watching. I might take a nap and
go back and watch the second half of the game.
It's rather early, but Nonetheless, Danny, we're ready to go.
Here on this podcast, we have Olympic like daycare with
no care and a rear window wisdom situation. But we
(01:33):
begin with is now. On the previous edition of the
Fifth Hour back on Friday, I told some stories about
going to Vegas, and I have been going to Las
Vegas for a long time. I can't believe how long
it's been. Now over thirty years, I believe I've been
going to Las Vegas. I have seen seen it all,
the old mob era residue. Now, when I was younger
(01:55):
and I was a kid, my parents would take me
to Vegas, and you still, even as a you knew
that there was some there was some like rat pack
type stuff going on. There was still some of the
remnants of old Vegas, the nostalgia. And over the years
we've had the mega resorts that you can go to
Vegas and all of a sudden you're supposed to be
in Perie or New York or Rome or wherever in
(02:17):
the middle of the desert, which I think should have
stopped human life sometime, should have stopped supporting human life
sometime back, I don't know, in the nineteen forties or
something like that or fifties. But anyway, I watched Vegas
turn from a place where you go there, you get
a free drink, you can play the penny slots, and
(02:39):
now you go there and they want you to pay
twenty dollars to put ice in your water glass and
fifty dollars if you want to view of the kitchen.
So where are the white women at.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
Ben When we were kids, our moms were able to
get photographed nude by Sammy Davis Junior.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Yeah, yeah, and Sinatra would make sure the photos were okay.
But it's the biggest scam.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
And I love Vegas pulled our moms out of the crowd.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
I know, I know it was Listen, the main issue,
my biggest problem with Vegas. And again I like it.
You know, it's a good place to visit all that stuff.
The biggest scam is this parking thing. Now. I was
told years ago the reason they charged for parking in
Vegas is because the hockey team, the NHL. You can
(03:28):
blame Gary Bettman. When they moved the NHL team, the
expansion team went to Vegas. They're like, well, every team
has to get revenue from parking, and we can't get
any revenue. Because the arena is right behind the MGM,
right across from like New York, New York to that area.
MGM's across the street. People are just gonna park free.
We're not gonna get revenue. Said, fine, we're gonna charge
(03:49):
for parking at the hotels around the arena, and then
the other people, well, people are gonna park further away,
they're gonna walk. Well, okay, then we have to charge
parking for the all the other hotels and so. But
parking is it's got to be the least clamorous word
in the English language. And where I come from, Danny,
it's supposed to be free. I come from a state
(04:11):
with free parking. It's asphalt, it's some white paint, that's it,
that's all. And parking lots are supposed to just kind
of be there. You don't really pay attention to them,
you don't pay for them. And there are places you
believe your vehicle and go spend your money. But in
Las Vegas right now, parking has somehow become a luxury
(04:32):
commodity in Vegas, and it's embarrassing. Right on Friday, I'll
tell you the story, Dan. On Friday last week, I
did the overnight show, and then we had a day
to kind of futs around and move around, and then
Saturday was the event. So my wife and I I
ended up spending I showed out eighty dollars for parking
(04:55):
on Friday in Vegas. Eighty dollars. I did not realize
this because my wife booked the hotel. The hotel we
were staying at, which I will not name because I
don't want to get sued. Fifty dollars to park at
the hotel. Yeah, fifty dollars the park at the hotel.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
It's horrible.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
It's ridiculous. And so then my wife said, well, I
want to see a show, and so she she got
tickets to see this Dita vonteee. She wanted to see
the show. And I have no interest in that show.
But as you know, Danny, through the marriage license, I
am required to attend. What was the show, Dita von
Teese type, Yeah, exactly. But I was the chaperone, and
(05:35):
you know, I was there kind of standing in the
background and minding my own business and all that stuff.
But I couldn't get over eighty dollars, Danny. I've been
to New York many times. My brother's in her eighty
dollars is Manhattan parking parts of Manhattan. It's it's low
end parking, manhat eight dollars, midtown Manhattan, Valet with the
(05:56):
top down type money. And this is Las Vegas, where
last I checked, they have plenty of land there, Danny,
I mean there's lots of land. They're not short on
land in Vegas. They can build more parking lots if
they want, and they have a lot of open space.
So another part of this to tell a story with you.
On the fifth hour here, when we got to Vegas
(06:18):
after the long drive we had to do the show
that night, my wife wanted to Valet. Now you know, Danny,
my position on Valet parking. Yes, I have taken a
strong position of anti Valet parking. She wanted, he always
wants to Valet. Valet to her is civilization. It's progressed.
(06:41):
To me, Valet parking is extortion with somebody wearing a
bow tie. And I of course said no. I was
in no mood, driving and trying to get ready for
the show, so I pulled out my executive marriage powers
and I said, no, not going to do it. And
I said I will be the valet. I will take
every single bag to the room. Don't worry about it.
(07:05):
You can tip me if you want, I'll do it.
And so here's the catch. Though my wife does not
pack light, Danny, I think your wife's probably similar to mine.
Like when I go somewhere by myself, I will pack
like a college sophomore trying to get away from the
dorm for a couple of days. I like my suit case.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
You need one backpack probably, or one tote.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Bag exactly, one bag, a couple of shirts, a couple
of boxer shorts, a pair of shorts, maybe a toothbrush
if I remember, maybe deodorant if I remember. Now, my
wife packs like she's about to circumnavigate the globe in
a hot air balloon and she doesn't know where she's
gonna land, whether it'll be cold or hot, and she
(07:48):
needs everything, and it's just unbelievable, right, I'm pretty sure
if she could bring an ottoman from the home, she
would just be why not we need an automan. We
don't need an to me where a hotel? I want
an ottoman. Okay, bring the ottoman. I'll carry it into
the room. So I mean it's any So here I
am the self appointed bell hop shuddling luggage like a
(08:12):
you know, some kind of sherpa, hauling gear up Mount
Everest and all of this because of course I refuse
to pay some someone there in a red vest, what
was it, thirty bucks or whatever to do valet parking.
And so I thought I won. I thought I won, Danny,
except as you know when you're when you're married, winning
(08:36):
these little battles, I'll tell you what the compass it's
like winning a coin toss and then fumbling the kickoff,
because well, you won the coin toss, but we gave
the ball up. We fumbled the kick returner fumbled the ball. Well,
you won the coin toss, but we fumbled the ball.
Now technically you're ahead because you won the coin toss,
(08:57):
but you don't really feel feel like you're your head.
And the whole weekend carried out with she had a
sour taste. She was upset. I didn't valet, and I
was getting upset because every bill came with a service fee.
Every drink was priced like it was blessed by the pope,
you know. And I'm like, we can just go to Costco,
(09:17):
buy some booze and have a great time.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
Oh boy, you're sounding more and more like Rob Parker.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
I know I'm turning into Rob Pert and Vegas has
turned into the it's the Olympics, It's the nickel and
dime Olympics. You gotta have the bones, like you don't
just lose your money at the table. I'm okay if
I bet a three team parlay, which it's a sucker bet,
and I lose. Fine, if I bet on the Cleveland
Guardians because Dick and Dayton told me to bet on them,
(09:43):
and I lose, I'm fine, But to lose on all
this all you lose at the tables, but you lose
in your room. You lose plugging your phone into the wall.
I think they charged for that. The why fi you
lose just breathing the oxygen they pump into the casinos
(10:05):
to keep you awake. You lose it that everything's a loss.
And the thing that really drove me nutstanding and I
want to.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Definitely lose lung capacity inhaling all that cigar smoke.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
Well, yeah, as I said, I and I think it
was yesterday's podcast, Like I had a raspy voice doing
the show because I walked through the casino and everyone
was smoking and it messed my voice up. But the
thing that really annoyed me too is the wife kind
of shrugged. I was complaining about how much they were
gouging us with all these ridiculous fees, and my wife
kind of shrugged, and she said, well, this is just
(10:38):
how it is, Ben, you know, this is just how
it is. And she's probably right, that's just how it is.
And maybe Vegas doesn't have to offer free parking anymore
because they know that people will keep coming back no
matter what, even though the tourism numbers are down, but
the people are just sheep, especially from La and you know,
it's like sheep to the shearing shed and lemmings off
(11:03):
the cliff and all that. And they've built this empire
on the assumption that no one will actually ever say no,
Like they keep raising prices because no one will ever
say no, and there's enough people that'll go that'll make
it work. And the worst part is they're probably right.
And I know that I'll be back and I'll complain
(11:23):
about it next time I go. And Danny, I know
you'll you're not happy about the prices either, but you'll
be back, right, You'll go back and we'll all go
back and I'm gonna scream and shout, and you eighty
dollars parking for a couple hours on asphalt and seeing
neon lights off in the distance and all that stuff.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
And you know, try having your favorite NFL football team
in that city. Oh I know, oh man. I mean
thanks to you last season, I was able to see
a game and I didn't have to pay for tickets,
but I still had to pay for everything else involved.
And it is similar to going to an amusement park
in California or flying maybe to Disney World in Florida.
(12:04):
You get taxed because they know you're gonna pay it.
Everybody loves it that much that they know they have
you buy the balls. It's kind of like when our pets,
our animals get sick. The vet has us by the
you know what, So we're gonna pay through the nose.
We're just gonna do it.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Yeah, no, I know. I just want to clarify though,
again they're in They call it the hospitality business, Danny.
A lot of those people that work at hotels, they
got degrees in hospitalities, people that run the hotels. But
let me tell you something. Hospitality is supposed to mean, Hey,
we're glad you're here. We're really happy to see you. Man,
is it great, We're really man, we're very hospitable. In
(12:42):
Vegas right now, it means we're glad that you're trapped.
That's the real magic. You're turning robbery in broad daylight
into customer service and hospitality. That's the Vegas way right now.
And at some point there will be an epiphany. They'll
lower the price, they'll make a big deal. They'll spend
a lot of money on radio commercials and podcast commercials
(13:04):
and TV commercials, and then it'll be nice. And then
slowly they'll raise the prices back up, because that's the
way it works, nanny like cable television. Remember how happy
people wore court cutters get rid of cable television, and
now you end up most people end up with just insane,
insane bills because they've got all these streaming services and
(13:26):
it's ridiculous. You know what I need, Danny's, I need daycare.
That's what I need. I need my own daycare at
this point, my god.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
Yeah, here, you need to run a daycare because you'd
make ten times more money than broadcasting. I don't want
this to sound like two old guys yelling through microphones.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
No lie, no bs.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
I'm just at this point, I'm just over it. I'm
gonna be a what's the fancy way to say nanny?
If you're a male nanny, O pair, remember that from
Jerry maguire.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
You remember that.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
We have a dilemma right now. My better half an
eye CoA. He needs daycare. He needs some sort of preschool,
even though he's not ready for the caterpillar room yet.
Obviously they still have these daycare centers, but especially in California.
And I'm sure whatever state you're in listening right now,
you know daycare is an issue in our country. Now,
(14:22):
Ben the prices you were talking about Vegas, at least
you're there having fun. Imagine having a toddler in your
life right now and trying to navigate our world. Daddy.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Yeah, no, it's not easy. I know. It's not a
lot of hidden costs, which I guess are not really
that hidden, you kind of know.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Going into town, not hidden at all. In fact, they
have these prices posted when you walk into the lobby
of this Monassory school, so Montassori in essence, they like
to teach kids real world living rather than fantasy. So
instead of all these colorful toys from Target and games
(15:00):
and board games, they go like gray dishes and glass
bowls and things made out of wood. They're thinking is,
let's have these kids work with things that are in
the house instead of you know, make believe. Will do
real world type stuff, which that doesn't sound fun for
(15:21):
a toddler.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
No, you want to play it around with a bunch
of plastics.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
CoA wants a fricking car from Cars from Disney. He
wants Mader the truck. He wants you know, Lightning McQueen.
That's his thing right now. He doesn't want a glass bowl.
So what we see these kids through that we make
an appointment for this Monassory school in our city. We
bring Cole with us to this appointment. There's this one
(15:47):
sided glass window where you can look in at these kids.
They're in a fish bowl and it looked like they
were in a little jail. It looked like they were
imprison in there, these poor bastard little kids. This director,
she takes us outside to the play area, which, by
the way, the artificial turf. Okay, fine, whatever, but next
(16:07):
to the turf was a brick wall. CoA is gonna
take three steps toward this wall trip and knock his
big noggin right into the bricks. That was a check
mark against them, the biggest check mark of all though.
We get back to the lobby. She hands us a
pamphlet for this place, and I saw some of the
(16:29):
prices hanging up on the wall in there too, and
they were in small print. Good for them, They should
make the print even smaller. What do you think a
half day at this monassory school would cost a parent?
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Okay, so this is the menu, all right? Let me
do some math on this.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Me.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
I'm gonna do some malor math in real time. So
let's say how many How many hours is a half.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
Day from eight thirty am to twelve thirty at lunchtime?
Speaker 1 (16:57):
So four hours, I'm gonna say. If it's I'll go high.
Oh man, what are they try? It's like twenty five
an hour or something like that? Is that? Is that
what they're doing?
Speaker 3 (17:07):
Oh man? If it was twenty five an hour, we
would have had cod in one of these places a
long time ago, all.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
Right, So I would have come up with twenty five
an hour, which I think is like one hundred and
twelve dollars or something that I'm way off.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
Yeah, they want two hundred and forty dollars per half day.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
Wait, wait, two hundred and forty four is four and
a half hours. You say, all right, let me do
the math on that. That means.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
Four four hours, four hours, eight thirty to twelve thirty.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
That is sixty dollars an hour. Holy crap, Yeah, sixty
dollars an hour. So what they got to pay somebody?
How much they pay something thirty dollars an hour? Then
they keep thirty on top of that. Is that how
that goes?
Speaker 3 (17:45):
I bet? I bet you The teachers get twenty five.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Okay, So then they make the extra, They make it
thirty five on top of that.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
What a freaking joke. As we're in the lobby and
now I see Brenda's eyes light up as she's looking
through the pamphlet it and I had already seen, like
I said, I had already saw it on the wall,
so I already had one foot out the door. I'm like,
f this place, what sixty dollars an hour? So that
they can play with a glass bowl. If it's sixty dollars,
(18:12):
it better look like fucking Disneyland in this joint, like
it better be a place CoA is dying to get
to every day, right.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
And of course, while CoA is playing with the bowl,
the person sust to be washing was on their phone.
You know.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
Yeah, the bull's about to be on his head, cutting
off his breathing. CoA sees something in the lobby that
he wants his hands on. It's like some stupid plant
they had in there, like a small plant, almost looked
like a cactus. I don't know why they would have
that around kids. He sees it, he wants it. I
tell him, no, that's not your plant. You can't have that.
(18:45):
Now he starts to throw a fit. He is starting
to melt down. I politely excuse myself and I take
him outside the front entrance door. So now he's outside,
I set him down. He runs towards their bushes. He
starts like terminator, pulling flowers and leaves and branches down,
and he's going he's going full on stitch and he's wrecked.
(19:08):
Oh he's screaming. Record Yeah he went now from screaming
because of something he couldn't have to. I am gonna
mess up their entire front entrance area. So he's throwing
flowers and leaves, and I see this director looking outside
the glass doors, and I'm like, oh my god, she's
not gonna want this kid for eighty dollars an hour.
(19:29):
He's throwing a huge fit. Obviously Brenda now sees. She's like, okay, bye.
She comes out. She's like, let me, let me pick
him up. She picks them up. He is like slapping
at her, And that's what toddlers do. They if they
get that mad, they start pinching at you. And if
they don't want to be held, they don't want to
be held. We get them back to the car. He
is flipping the f out the entire ride home. He
(19:52):
is going bananas. He won't stop screaming. We get him
inside and we calm him down, and everything ben. The
very next day, twenty four hours later, oh oh, he
is throwing up all over the living room, all over
his pajamas. He is sicker than a sick dog. He
(20:13):
obviously got something from that damn germ factory that they
call a monatssory school.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
Dad's got the barf bucket.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
That is so smart, because he threw that tantrum. We
didn't do our usual parent routine, which is slather the
uh you know the hand sanitizer.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, the hands. Yeah. I try to forget
about that after the pandemic.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
But yeah, you got kids though. You can never forget
about hand sanitizer. In fact, you always have it in
your pocket. You always have it latched onto your bag
or your keys. And in this case, we have the
spray kind, so we're usually spray like. It's like Banaka,
We're spraying it in his mouth. So he got something
(20:59):
so bad from that damn place. It's now been over
a week later. He is still sick.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Really.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
Yes, we had to take him to the er. They
had to give him breathing treatments. This is the most
sick this kid has ever been.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
You killed it.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Wow. What are you gonna do though? Is there other options?
Are you? Like? I don't know what you're gonna Yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:24):
I think we're gonna have to keep doing what we've
been doing, which is I take the morning shift. She
takes the afternoon shift when I'm on the Covino and
Rich show, and then at night after post production, I
get back home and I relieve her. We kind of
we're like a tag team wrestling duo, and that's how
we're gonna have to keep doing it. The problem is
(21:45):
that morning shift, she's upstairs doing her job remotely, and
he knows she's up there, so if he's not in
a good mood, he's screaming and crying because he knows
she'll come down the stairs. So he has been interrupting
her workflow and that's been that has been our biggest challenge.
I don't know how we're going to get through this,
But everybody say a little prayer for Okay, for Brenda. Yeah,
(22:07):
because there's no way in hell we have that in
the budget to pay for even a better place that
had less germs and more colorful toys. But man, we're
at a standstill now. This is like just hitting your
head up against a brick wall if you're a parent.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
Yeah. Well, if you have any suggestions, you can email
in real fifth hour at gmail dot com. We have
a mail bag tomorrow and if we don't get it
to get to it tomorrow, we can do it next
week on the mail bag. Too bad, they don't have
chuck e cheese anymore. Like the old school, you just
throw the kid in the chucky cue.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
Well, one place they do have which is about a
seven eight minute drive from our house. They have one
of those indoor playgrounds, which cool you see in a
lot of towns. Nowadays, it's Blippy's favorite place to hang out.
We got them a monthly pass. That is one trick
I do to at least get them out and give
her a little bit of time, maybe an hour hour
and a half as I take them to that indoor playground,
(22:58):
which you have to hover over the kids so they
don't kill themself, and you have to spray their hands
with the sanitizer every few minutes. But at least it's
something where he's exercising and he's out of the house.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
There you go, I hear you. Well, this is the
fifth hours called how Much Can You Complain? That's and
I'm going to continue the tradition. I got one more.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
Yeah, no, but it's real life though in our age
in our age group, unfortunately, we run into all these
damn issues that cost a lot of money.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
Yeah, and complaining is the last noble American pastime. It
really is. When people, you know, people come and go
with different things. I like baseball for a while, maybe
you hate baseball, You like the NFL. Maybe you're down
on the NFL. You know, pickleball. It's a fad, right people.
Complaining is eternal. So here's my latest complaint. There's there's
too much begging in the world right now. I realize
(23:48):
that I'm a guy that put weed Man Hippie on
the radio for years and all he did was beg
for money. But I don't mean begging like your dog
or you know, eating, You know, I want a sandwich
or something, our kid wants a toy or something like that.
What I mean is the full on handout, Please give
me something begging. You walk into a grocery store and
there's a person outside asking for a dollar to save something,
(24:11):
you know, something something dying or whatever of the environment.
You walk inside and there's a corporate charity drive asking
you for a couple of dollars. Even when you check
out at self checkout, they say, would you'd like to
round up the bill to save a turtle and Galopagos
or something? And you're You're like, well, what am I?
(24:33):
What am I supposed? I can't say no, can I?
I mean, I can't let the turtle down? And of
course I say no all the time. But here's the
thing I am prepared for that, Danny. I know that's coming.
I know the circle of life. And you go to stores,
there's people outside begging. You go in the store, there begging.
What I'm not prepared for is when I'm on the
highway and begging. The highway to me, is supposed to
(24:57):
be a sanctuary from that. You're in your car, you're
alone with your thoughts. You've got either bad sports talk
radio on or some crappy music or something. You're you're
shouting at the traffic app on your phone because it
sent you through some off ramp and Van Eyes. You
don't need to go to Van Eys. Why did it
send you to Van Eyes? But it said you're on
(25:18):
the fastest route anyway, and uh, but you're free from
all that other stuff, except you're not. So let's go
in the hot tub time machine. The other day, and
people have now decided that the rear window is a
GoFundMe page. Have you seen this, Danny, I've seen this
multiple times. The other day, I'm driving on the four
(25:39):
h five to the one on one already the eighth
circle of Hell, right right, It's just a nightmare. And
the car in front of me had written you know
that that kind of chalky writing. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
Sometimes you'll see like a youth team won a championship.
Yeah yeah, they write that across the back.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
So that they had giant letters on the back of
this car. It's my birthday, Buy me a coffee. And
then they had the venmo at whatever you know, whoever
was hit the hell out of here. Yeah. So suddenly
I'm trapped in a fundraising campaign while I'm driving on
a one oh one. Now I have a few questions
about this number. One does anyone actually send these people money? Danny, Like,
(26:22):
is there some guy out in Sherman Oaks who's thinking,
you know what, that brown Corolla over there?
Speaker 3 (26:28):
No enough, This would have to be a hot blonde
driving this vehicle for this ploy to work, because I've
seen this online on social media. I've seen girls post
a picture they are wearing next to no clothes and
they're like, it's my birthday month, buy me a drink,
and then they put their link for you to give
them some money. And you know, suckers out there send
(26:50):
them money and like have a drink. I mean they
think they're gonna score with that girl down the line.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Yeah. And the term for this. You're absolutely right, Danny.
Great minds think alike. I was thinking about this as
I was driving, and it's PGP. It's pretty girl privilege, right,
if you're a hot chick, you can make money off that.
If I did that, I'd get laughed at and people
would point at me. And if I said, it's my birthday,
(27:15):
buy me a coffee at the car, nobody's venmoing me anything.
They're honking because I'm holding up traffic. They're reporting me
for vandalism, saying what do you do the car?
Speaker 3 (27:26):
They'd probably venmo you fifty cents so they could write
a mean comment and it would get to you.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Well, that's like when Robbie the Mariner fan alleged I
think it was Robbie. Weed Man kept begging for money,
and I don't know it was a Robbie or justin
one of those schmucks. They sent weed Man like as
low as I don't think it was one cent, but
it's as low as you could possibly send, and it
was it was really low, and weed Man was all
excited because he had a notification that he got money,
and then he clicked on and it was like a
(27:53):
few cents and it was really not good. But the
hot girl thinks true. Like a pretty girl, privilege is legit.
And you know, bunch, as you said, Danny, a bunch
of dudes. I like, oh, I could score with that chick,
you know. And of course she leans into it because
she knows she's going to get stuff, so she's embracing
her her hotness. And so there you go. And by
the way, how do you prove it's your birthday?
Speaker 2 (28:14):
Like?
Speaker 1 (28:14):
Is anyone checking? Is there is like an ID scanner
on the one oh one maybe when you go around
the Hollywood Bowl or something like that, and it's your birthday?
All right?
Speaker 3 (28:23):
This could be like Christmas lights where the person leaves
it up the whole year.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
Yeah, it's my birthday. Send me twenty bucks every day
it's been your birthday. What about yesterday? Every day for
a month it's my birthday. So anyway, that's where I'm at.
You know, begging has invaded every part of life, even
when you're driving. I saw two of these cars two
and I was like, come on.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
You know, I'm making fun of this idea, but I'm
also writing down notes because now I know how I'm
gonna raise money for daycare.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
Yeah, there you go say, uh, but you see you're
not the hot chick though, so I don't know that's
gonna probably would work, you know, but you can give
it a shot anyway. Happy birthday to everyonecause apparently it's
everyone's birthday every effing day. You just write it on
the car. There, that's it, and you're you know, rear wisdom,
real rear window wisdom. I will get out on that, Danny.
(29:09):
Have a great Saturday. I'm gonna be settling into the
sofa watching college football. Cannot wait all day long. I
got my schedule and really all weekend. This is a
big college football weekend. No NFL till next week, so
we got that to look forward to.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
Yeah, what do you think about the Texas game? Who's winning?
Speaker 2 (29:26):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Yeah, I'm going with the Buck guys. I don't believe
in the the hype for the Texas Longhorns, so I'm
going which means bet the house on Texas. But I'm
going with the Buck guys. What about you, I'm with you? Actually, Okay,
there you go. We're an agreement.
Speaker 3 (29:39):
So so double put your money on the other team.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Longhorns will win by twenty points. All right, have a
wonderful day. We'll talk to you tomorrow. See you for
the mail bag. Asta pasta, My Felicia
Fox Sports Radio News
Host
Jonas Knox
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