July 31, 2024 • 38 mins
Welcome to Unbreakable! A mental wealth podcast hosted by Fox NFL Insider Jay Glazer. On today’s episode, Jay welcomes in Aldon Smith, one of the best pass rushers the NFL has ever seen. Aldon opened up about his past struggles, his time in San Francisco with the 49ers and his comeback with the Cowboys. He also shared how he’s now using his journey to help others through sharing the lessons learned from playing football.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
This is Unbreakable with Jay Glacier, a mental Wealth podcast
Build you from the inside out. Now here's Jay Glacier.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Welcome into Unbreakable, a mental Wealth podcast with Jay Glazer.
I'm Jay Glazer and I'm really pumped to have this guest.
It's interesting because I've met him twice, and what I
mean by meeting him twice in two different areas of
his life.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
I met him first time.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
When he was a star with the forty nine ers,
who am pure will correct me if I'm wrong here,
but at fourteen sacks as rookie year nineteen and a half,
his second year, and that's when I originally met him.
And I met him in up Mitch martial Arts fight
out in San Francisco.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
Or San Jose.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
And then I met him ten years later at my
gym Unbreakable and he was homeless. Two totally different lives,
but one, in my opinion, fountastic human and teammate to me,
and that is Olden Smith.
Speaker 4 (01:03):
Alden, how we doing, Bob, I'm doing good. I'm doing well.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
That's that for an introduction.
Speaker 4 (01:08):
That's a new one. I'm well, I'm well good man good.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
So you know, look, I want to have I love
having all than on and because All There is now
using a lot of his experience in the past, he's
going to start using to help players out not make
the same mistakes he's made, and other players made some
of the pitfalls of success in not just being a
professional football player, but pro athlete and success. So I
really want to dive in with him there.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Also we've had we've had quite.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
A journey together. So I don't know where you want
to start here, brother, but you've had a couple of
different comeback stories in life. I think this is a
great comeback for you also as far as it's not
on the field, but it can.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
Help players in life.
Speaker 4 (01:52):
Yeah, I'm actually gonna piggyback off of the comeback thing.
And I don't know if it ever was a comeback,
just because I think, if anything, I look at it
as like this progression ladder, and I got stopped in
my progression, you know, and things that got in the
(02:12):
way of it included things that I had control over,
things I didn't have control over, and me putting myself
in situations where now I'm stuck in this period of life,
you know. And so here I am started out life,
grow up get a chance to play pro ball. And
(02:33):
then as I'm growing as a man, I'm starting to
confront some things that I'm struggling with. And I didn't
know what those things were. You know, you know you're unhappy,
you know you don't well, I knew I didn't feel
a certain I know, I didn't feel like I was
being treated, and so by that, people were you know,
looked up to me and then they saw me as
this superstar and I didn't. I had low self esteem,
(02:56):
I had an anxiety in my sense of self was very
very negative. So I filled those gaps and I did
everything I could to live into that persona and substance
other addictions, and wasn't true. Wasn't being true to who
I was. And so what I mean by that is
(03:18):
I got stopped, you know, I let something halt my progress,
and so I was able to pick back up. And
now that's where I am now.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Well, look, I know exactly what you're talking about, because look.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Until I wrote Unbreakable, you know, and I gave I
told people words about you know, my depression anxiety, I
had a mask on all these years. I was the glaze.
You know, I created this character. You were this character
of this you know, superhuman NFL player who's got the
two of us have a lot of.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Struggles behind the eyes, and we just it was kind
of it's how you raise right to kind of my
eighty deal take over here.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
But like I trained all in an mma and and
trained them to come back in football. And one of
the things I would always say is, man, if you're
if you're tired, don't show it right all, then take
your hands off your hips.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Neutral face, neutral face. How many times did I say
that to you?
Speaker 2 (04:09):
And that's what got you and I in trouble in
life of hey, we're going to act a certain way
for the world to see us. We're gonna have this
neutral face, and that got the two of us to implode.
You know I I kind of could have had a
lot of situations where I was like you also and
ended up.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
In the wrong side of the lawn and and lose
it all. Thank god I didn't.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
But it's all about hiding that that hurt kid, that's
kind of inside us right.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
Definitely, I couldn't agree more. And they're you know, not
being authentic and having to put on has its I
guess lifestan and I think you know, a lot of
athletes unfortunately run into that inperior that publicly. And so
by that, I mean, you know, it was only a
(04:56):
matter of time before the things that I was doing
to mask who I was was seen and it and
it affected me in a way where I couldn't hide
it anymore.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Yeah, So just also hit a couple of things that
you and I dealt with. And I think this this
gets a lot of people and players, like right when
you you know, and we trained all and you got
signed by the Cowboys, and then all of a sudden,
like right before you're going to camp, You're like, oh,
I don't deserve it, I'm not worthy of it, so
I'm gonna.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
Go fuck it up. And I think that's you know
a lot of what a lot of people go through.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Also, like hey, I'm waiting for the sky to fall
because I don't deserve good things that happened for me,
And the pain of living in question of when that's
going to happen is often worse than the pain of
it happening.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
So we speed up the process.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
I want to say something about that, right, yep, you
know what it was? It was. I knew I was
about to enter into something that I didn't want to
be into and and I felt like I had once
again because I had taken I was off for like
five years. During that time, there was so much life
that I was experiencing, and I just discovered another side
(06:05):
of who I was becoming. And so by like when
it came time to sign the paper and everything, it
was all starting to come back and all the noise
was starting to enter back in and I didn't I
didn't know how to vocalize it. And I knew that
this isn't really what I want to do, but I'm
so far in that I'm in it, you know, And
(06:27):
I don't know if that does that make sense?
Speaker 3 (06:28):
Yeah? No, are you sure?
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Well?
Speaker 3 (06:30):
Let me answer you sure to? You didn't want to do?
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Is are more of a fear of Oh man, I'm
going to have to put that mask on again.
Speaker 4 (06:37):
A little combination of both, but more so like my
passion for football left when I left San Francisco, and
when it was time to come back, it was more
for a financial reason and there were some other factors
that went into play. I think the ego was still
trying to figure out, you know, can I do this?
(06:58):
You know? Like and wanted to just see if I
was still in it. And you know, once it all
started to happen and everything came, I didn't know how
to how to get away from it. So I went
back to my old routine, and that was, you know,
hiding and hiding it and just trying to be wherever
I needed to be for that day.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
And again, part of it also was the sobriety issue.
And I think we met and you were almost but
then you're sober living when you look.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Back at now.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Was that was it spread issues more coping with something
you didn't want to do or is it more of
it's coping with that the pain I had kind of from.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
A young kid on.
Speaker 4 (07:41):
So my sobriety issue stemmed from me not having a
relationship with myself that was honest and me not living
in my in my true self and so like that.
It wasn't necessarily like being around it. And you know,
it wasn't the alcohol. It was you know, I'm not
(08:04):
happy with who I am, I'm not happy with where
I am, and I do got to still, you know,
show up and do this. So this is the only
way I know how to do it.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
Yeah, And I look you and I talked to I
used to do the same thing with biking and alcohol.
I'm like, man, I have these terrible anxiety talks. I
said that the beast comes out of the box, and
I would say, well, shit, I got to show up
somewhere and be that the glaze.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
So we pop some biking in an alcohol and hopefully
that glaze comes back out.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
And then a lot of times they got me in trouble.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
But here's look the cool thing of I'm going to say,
a cool thing of happening to shit. You and I
have right because I want to take away the stigma
of you know, I said to you from day one,
I'm like, look, man, I'm fucked up and I'm good
with my fucked upness.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
When the truth is, I'm really learning how to be
good with my fucked upness.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
But it's cool that two very very very duly dudes
like me and you could come on here and talk
about things like this so raw and vulnerable and honest.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
Well, we don't have to.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Cover it up anymore with substances and Viking booze and
whatever else.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
We don't have to be that, and we want to
have been able to do this.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
I think you and I were always pretty vulnerable with
each other.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
Really, we've cried each other pretty much, you know.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
But for the most part, this wouldn't happen four years ago,
five years ago, where we could just come on here
and just open up and talk about it and then
kind of get not feel shamed.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
For it, right, kind of feel applauded for it.
Speaker 4 (09:23):
It definitely feels a lot different being in living consistently
in that space and not having to have a conversation
and then be on some bullshit when we're done talking, right,
And so it's good when you don't have to make.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Up something right, right, right, So tell me again, you're
going to start now talking to players, which is fantastic,
and I kind of want to, you know, give us
some of the bullet points that you're going to go
over with these guys, some of the knowledge that you
have from the experience you have that you could share
with these cats.
Speaker 4 (09:54):
So it's not just for players. My message is eventually
I would like to talk to whoever would like to
have me. But obviously I'm a player, I'm a former player,
and I really want to be able to impact people
with my journey. And so when I've gone and talked
to rookies and just people. The rookies that I've spoken with,
(10:16):
I've talked to them openly and honestly about what it
is that they're experiencing that I experienced and like what
is there? Why? Like why are you there? And do
you more of a more intro you know, internal conversation
that needs to be had because I had questions. I
(10:38):
had things that I wish I would have asked. I
wish I would have had the cool head off and
the more you know, hey.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
Like you just off your desk right there. You know
I'm not to let you get away with that.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
People who can't see all the he put his elbow
on his desk and fell off. Here's a world class
athlete just fell off his desk. I played this move,
but there's no way I'm letting you get past that.
Speaker 4 (11:09):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
But yeah, well, so give me it.
Speaker 5 (11:15):
Like some of the questions you said you wish you
would have asked, I wish I would have maybe had
a conversation about how I really feel about what I'm
about to enter and how prepared am I and and
with all of the other things.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
That I think I had around and just not having
the foundation not like not knowing where I want to
take everything, and maybe talking about you know, how do
I really feel about myself? So my conversations with the
players are just more of a know why you're here
(11:51):
and use this platform to do whatever you want. But
while you're in here, you know, if you're a football player,
that's one thing, but if you're good at playing football,
it's a different thing. You know, being a football player
it takes consistency, it takes discipline, it takes you know,
you got to be vulnerable. There's a lot of things
that go into this like that you have to have
(12:14):
if you want to have this career. I was good
at football. In my opinion, I'm one of the best
to ever play football. But I'm definitely not in the
best football player list. And so there's two different sides
and a lot of guys get it messed up and
they don't understand that this. You know, this can get
you through college. Being a good football player gets you
(12:35):
through college. I'm sorry, being good at football would get
you through. But being a football player is how you
have a Hall of Fame career, or you just have
a career where you don't have issues. You know, because
when you're just good at something, then you know you
have a lot of other things that you're probably trying
to like fit into that lifestyle, but that is your lifestyle.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
It's interesting, you know.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
I Chris Long on this podcast and he said I've
done Yeah, I played football, played football, played football, and.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
He said my advice the players would be like, you know.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
He jumped right in to doing his podcast and he goes,
I didn't get a chance to really learn who Chris
Long was right, And it's pretty much what you're saying,
right if like, hey, don't even wait till it's over,
early on, learn who you are, Like, learn about yourself.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
Is that what you're saying.
Speaker 4 (13:23):
Yes, thing about being in any professional sport I feel like,
but mainly football, I guess is you are. It's kind
of like stunt your growth because you have everything that's
usually taking care. You don't have to do anything you
don't There's certain things that you either appoint people to
do and you just don't do. And so when that
life's time is cut short, if it's thirty five, twenty
(13:44):
five or thirty nine or forty, your peers are usually
you know, they got families, they got they know how
to like they know how to do build like they
have they know a lot of more life skills, or
they might have a lot more life skills experienced than
you do. And then you're kind of left with, like,
what the hell do I do? Because no matter how
much money you have or how little money you have,
(14:04):
you still don't have a purpose in a way. You know,
you might not know what it is that you really
enjoyed because you've been doing something for twenty plus years
and so it's over and now I'm like, and so
what I try to talk to the guys about is
instead of using that after practice time for the call
of duty or the two K you know, try and
(14:25):
like maybe figure out what it is that you like
outside of that.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Right is it also is a pushing Also, Hey, guys,
lean in the therapist. Start working on yourself that way.
I don't know how it was for you back then,
but I think it's it's certainly more more accepting now
than it was.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
And you're ads you were playing especially early on. Yeah,
something you're pushing.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
I don't know if pushing is it, but it's more
And so it's about being honest with yourself. And so
by being honest with yourself if okay, I'm not feeling
this way today, have somebody you can have that diet with.
And if you don't have anybody, then hopefully you can
have a conversation within that is honest, that you can
(15:06):
get the answers and then take the steps and some
other things. I mean, it's if you're gonna have people
around you, because I'm like trying to I'm being you know,
real about it. If you're gonna have ten girls that
you choose to hang around, let at least eight of
those be for you, you know, And that's just real because
it's it's for you helping you get to where you're
(15:28):
trying to go. You don't have to hide from that.
You can be your true self that you can talk
to that that can be an asset instead of somebody
who you have to show off how much you got
and how much like that you have to show off for.
Because when you have ten, then they're gonna be gone
and you're gonna be left with, you know, the same
(15:49):
person that was walking in there.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
I think that's interesting because you're not saying these guys, hey,
go be a choirboy, don't be with women. If you're
gonna live that this ball or life they want to live.
You're even kind of giving them skills within that lifestyle.
At least help yourself here, let them let it, let
it help you grow in a certain way, which I
think is interesting because most people go, Nope, can't live
that lifestyle. Women don't deal with them. They're just gonna
(16:11):
fuck you up. And you know, all these these sharks are.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
Going to take your here.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
So I think that's the first time I ever heard
it that way, which pretty interesting.
Speaker 4 (16:18):
Yeah, because that advice doesn't work, and telling somebody not
to do something doesn't work.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Yeah, what advice do you wish this Alden Smith could
have given Alden Smith when the wheels started coming off?
Speaker 4 (16:32):
I think the wheels needed to come off, wow, because
of where I am now.
Speaker 3 (16:38):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
And I don't think I get to be here without
them coming off.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
So you're telling them to give yourself a little grace
for instead of beating up on yourself for it.
Speaker 4 (16:46):
Yeah. I mean, I let that period be that period,
and I'm fortunate enough to have gone through that because
it gives me perspective on how things feel. Because you
can't tell somebody how to overcome something if you've never
dealt with it in that way you were.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
You were talking about difference between a football player and
being good at football. There's a player I was training
who told them straight out. I said, hey, man, I
heard you. You don't like football.
Speaker 3 (17:13):
He said nope. And I said, well, I.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Think our train's too hard unless you love football. And
he said, well I don't. I said, I don't think
we're right for you. Well you know, what, can I
get you to love being great at football?
Speaker 3 (17:24):
And he said I could do that.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
So I was like, okay, if my point of you is,
can you if you're great at football, can you get
guys to change over to be a great football player if.
Speaker 4 (17:39):
You're good at playing football? Right? Right, it's two kinds
of different things, right, I'll say for me it was,
and I think for some some some people it is
because it's not your priority. You know, like if you're
good at it, then it's not like this is what
you live, sleep and this is where you, this is
(17:59):
where you, this is what you're into. You know, like
you can like it and you can be good at it.
But like most of the time, people don't get a
chance to discover their other gifts. You know, you start
some people start football at such an early age that
you don't get to develop. If you see if you
can draw, or if you can sing, or if you
can and it's not popular, it's not cool, it's not
(18:20):
gonna get you the bag. You're you're not as confident
as you are in this, then you are in that.
You know. It all goes back to like that relationship
with yourself. If you've only been put in this lane
and you excel at that, you don't even discover these
other lanes.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
I love that, dude, I really I love it. You're
right because making you more of a complete person. If
you're a complete person, and if you want to be
a football player, you can be more complete football player.
But like you said, if you realize it's not the
laying everyone in the world has put me in that box,
it's not the box that I want to be in,
then I can give you more strength to step out
of that box despite what we all may thic.
Speaker 4 (18:55):
Well, another thing is a lot of times when you're
in that setting of the football all the tough guy,
it goes along with that progression thing. You don't allow empathy,
you don't allow, you don't you don't allow yourself to
be cared about, and you don't care about others because
you're so used to that gladiator mentality that you supposed
to be are supposed to have that you put walls
(19:17):
up and you block off things that might be there
to help you. It's hard to accept help. By the
time you get to the league and you need a therapist,
you're so your mind that it's not gonna happen.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
Man, it's fat.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
You know again, I know you're probably better than most people.
It's fascinating and that what I'm fascinating is you do
constantly evolve and it's it's constant growth. And like you're saying, like,
it's got to be some hard times in it to grow.
But you know, it's funny because the rest of us
don't want those hard times.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
Try adversity and I need them, right.
Speaker 4 (19:51):
Adversity is necessary.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
It's a gift.
Speaker 4 (19:54):
And I'm telling you, like it's I'm kind of getting
into this thing where people are like, you're trying to
help people. I don't like seeing change, but to get
over a hump brow grow right, And unfortunately I believe
like it unless you have a reason to and a
reason that I can't give to you like, it's going
(20:15):
to be difficult to get you to you know, Like
I went through hell. So I kept hitting my head
and hitting my head and that's you know. And so
the first time I hit my head, I want think
about changing, you know what I mean? The third time
I want think about changing. And so it took like damn,
this is important because I don't want to hit my head. See,
people haven't hit their head enough. So how you're gonna
(20:37):
tell somebody that hasn't hit their head enough that they
need to change?
Speaker 2 (20:41):
You keep bang your head against the wall head again, right,
right and over For some rights, they're saying, Samdia is
doing the same thing over and over again. Open the changes,
right or something along those lines. Give me something else
that you want to teach these players about some of
the pitfalls. But there's another message for them. I mean,
we spoke about it, but it's it's you.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
What about the money issue.
Speaker 4 (21:02):
I'm gonna say this on that. On the what I
have to say to the players and every anybody is
you know right now. Instagram was just coming out when
I started, and so the likes in the it wasn't
that big of a deal. And so the external factors
were more like the coaches and the teammates and the
girls and stuff like that. But now with it being
(21:23):
the way it is, it's important that like the enter
relationship has to be that much more, you know, together,
because if you're you know, checking your likes instead of
your your coach's notes, you know, it's you're not really
it's gonna be You're gonna get you might have an
awesome game and somebody might not like it, and then
you're all on your head, you know what I mean.
(21:44):
And so it's important that the external validation like it's
gonna be there, but like, don't let that be your
sole focus of determining if you're good or bad. Like
it's all right, and so like I just want to
like have that type of dialogue with people poor just
because of I know how much I know where my
(22:09):
mind goes when I focus on what their thinking.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Yeah, dude, it's interesting you said that because and I
never heard it said that way, Like, hey, your coach
is good, so everybody just you know, every player gets
graded out by their coaches every game, And you're right,
you could have a never dude, I never even thought
about this until just now. You could have a great
grade by your coaches. But if some dick bags are
hitting you on fucking Twitter and just telling you what
a ship, how fucking much you suck, that voice becomes
(22:36):
louder than really the people who matter and all that.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
I don't know how.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
I don't know what the answer is to get people
to realize that see it like they don't matter. Look,
I think also like, like, I'm emotional, My feeling hurt.
You know, my feelings get hurt easily, very easily. All
that has been around a lot of players are feeling.
They're very emotional. Your feelings get hurt just because you're
rich in fantis don't mean our feelings hurt less. But
(23:01):
I've never heard said that.
Speaker 6 (23:03):
How do we get guys to not put as much
stock into that comment on Instagram or Twitter and put
more stock into the people who do matter.
Speaker 4 (23:14):
They have to do more work on finding out who
they truly are, because the more you know who you are,
the less you care about what they talk about. That's
that's my that's my solution.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
What's the biggest thing you've done to find out where
you are?
Speaker 4 (23:30):
Making it a priority? You know, like and by that
when you want something, nothing can really stop you from
getting it like it, and it's like, that's the honest
truth is, people. I wanted a better life, but I
didn't do the things necessary consistently to put myself in
(23:53):
a position to get that, And so I had to
come into this whole thing with a childlike approach, meaning
listening and being vulnerable and taking direction and things I
might not agree with, things I might be biased about.
But since I've heard it's good, since I've read it works,
(24:15):
I mean, go ahead and put that in instead of
the my consistent line of cycle of whatever I'm interested in.
And I started doing that and doing that and doing that,
and it's working.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
I think a lot of times, you know, we have
to go through war like until I kind of two
years ago, remember I did.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
I took this journey to Thailand for like thirty five days.
I'm dealing with these monks and man like I've always
kind of been.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
At war with a universe of like like I'm a
big god guy, as you know, but like, man, why
am I on loved? Why am I unlovable? Why do
all this shit happen to me? And kind of woar
was me thinking? And then wasn't it until like there's
like twenty days and working with these fucking bunks and
finally like like hey, almost like the universe. And God
(25:03):
said to me, like you needed to feel this pain
so you can help others through theirs.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
Not even for me, but I think you know me,
what gets me.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
In off is helping others, being of service to everybody
else but me. It was really the first time, like wow,
I kind of get it now. At the same time,
they said to me, but we need you to see
that we made all your other dreams come true to
keep you afloat, And I think that I've come to
peace with that pain.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
Sometimes I'm like, well, it's not fair, But for.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
The most part now I'm like, hey, I get it now,
and I'm glad I could be of service.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
Where are you with your pain?
Speaker 4 (25:43):
It's a good question. I'll say, I let it when
I feel it. I don't try to push it away.
I think for me, I don't have that refill. I
don't have that person that I can really have a
dialogue with consistently to maybe give me something of what
I think I need or what I'm what I'm maybe
(26:05):
looking for. And that's like a it's like a positive
and a negative because what ends up happening is I
end up just having to search more and do more
internal work to try to find out what the solution is.
But the pain is the pain. I think, if anything,
what I've been able to do with those people those
incidences is I don't like saying forgive, but I understand it.
(26:32):
I get it, Like I understand where they were coming from.
I understand what they didn't know, you know, Like there's
so much that factors into it. It doesn't make it okay,
it doesn't make it, you know, but it's it's one
of those things of like I've hurt people too, you know,
(26:53):
I've done wrong too. I've made mistakes too. It's when
I get a chance to interact again if I do
with those people or whoever, I choose not to bring
that with me into that and in the new relationships.
And that's not into me. That's just relationships in general.
I don't bring I just I'm mean, you know, I
(27:16):
think a lot of times in relationships in the past,
I know I've you know, trauma bonding or whatever the
case may be, where you know, you want somebody who's
gone through what you've been through and all that, and
it's like that's you do maybe want that, but at
the same time, you maybe don't want that because that's
too unheeled. People connecting and who knows that can either
go this way or that way. And so I just
(27:37):
try to be I don't try to be anything.
Speaker 3 (27:39):
I just be.
Speaker 4 (27:39):
I'm mean and if it's and if as long as
I'm doing the things that I'm supposed to be doing,
the person that I'm presenting should be somebody be black.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
Do you have regrets? No, that's exactly what I wanted
to hear. Oh, that's what I was hoping to hear.
I didn't know where you're gonna go with it. No,
I think no, because it's your journey.
Speaker 3 (28:03):
It's where we are right like and again, but now
you're using the tail brothers. Now I'm using it to
help others.
Speaker 4 (28:09):
I was just going to say, like, with the regrets
and with the thinking about the pain and everything that happened,
it takes away from where you're supposed to be looking
and that's forward. You know, when you're looking forward and
you're in your lane, you don't see, you don't hear
the people talking shit on the outside. You're not thinking
about what happened to me when I was twelve. You're
(28:30):
focused on this, and that helped that saying that's that
external shit, that's that's the noise, and that's why you know,
as I was in my progression matter and I'm now
I'm in the league, and I got all this pulling
me this way, that way and that way. You know,
I got the trauma, the oh, the self stid like
and it's just doing this and I'm still trying to
(28:51):
do this, but like I can't cause I'm how can I?
And so it's like, okay, now now we're good, because
there's only one way to go. Yeah, it doesn't matter
if you think this is good or not. I believe
it's gonna you know.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
And so look, we all progressive certain things, but not
to the point you want to talking about it is
like now, I think that's a big part of anyone's
growth is anxiety, is when we beat up on ourselves
for things in the past and when we're worried about
either doing the same thing or something else in the future,
instead of just living in this moment and looking forward.
As you're saying, I think that's great, I was, you know,
(29:27):
it's something I'm still working on I still think I'm
you know, working on healing some of those things from
from the past, you know.
Speaker 4 (29:34):
And let me say this, like I am in no
way a finished product, and so like I'm right there
with you in the healing thing. And that's another reason why,
like I started doing the art and in letting other
people see it because.
Speaker 3 (29:49):
Very talented me.
Speaker 4 (29:49):
In a thank you, it gave me an avenue. I
really appreciate it. It gave me an avenue to let
out to express myself and then there's a lot of
different ways to do it.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
I was very and you know what, I always made
a point too to make sure you knew I was
proud of you for that. That it wasn't just proud
of the football thing or the journey that we were on.
I always knew that, hey, that was what my friend needs.
That's like what he'd appreciate. But I did really like
I meant it like Man's I was Friday for it.
Speaker 4 (30:23):
I just want you to know that I don't know,
I appreciate that, you know.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
And I look back to we did pull off something
though that is unprecedented. Regardless, I mean I met oh,
he was homeless and we were hanging after a while.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
He was part of our charity.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
MVP, and it wasn't until he said, Hey, it's my fault.
I'm the reason I'm in this situation. And I said
to him, everyone wanted to play in the league. Ina
He's like, ah, I've been out for four years, it's
not gonna happen. I'm like, bro, I pulled off crazier shit,
and man, I'll just never forget like that first game
you against the Rams, just my away from where you
(31:00):
were living in a shelter, you know, and you were homeless.
Speaker 3 (31:04):
Now you're sitting there on you know, natural TV and
end up smashing the Rabs.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
Know that that that game, Uh, you know, Meil, I
kind of do kind of wild ship.
Speaker 3 (31:16):
And I am proud that you and I walked to
walk together do something like that.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
I hope even though you, hey, didn't want to really play,
I hope that you can appreciate that I did something
that really has never been done before.
Speaker 4 (31:27):
Now. I'm grateful for honestly everybody that was a part
of that process, and especially at the gym. I mean,
you you know, zag Jason, Justed. I've always wanted to
have that family, like that's what That's what attracted me
(31:50):
to go to Missou. That's what I loved about the Niners,
And that's what I've always wanted because I didn't, you know,
have that and so those are people and you know,
that's an experience I you know, I hold it in
my heart.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
And folks, it wasn't even just training old and we
trained like a fire and we had.
Speaker 3 (32:10):
Him holy shit, we we had him as a human weapon.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
But it was also doing things like we had him
reading to kids at night on Zoom, Like it was
being a complete person to get you back there, and
that's what you could see it, like, I'm not just
trying to get Oh, I'm going to train a guy
to have be bigger, stronger, faster. It's so much more
than that. And that's the thing for me. When I
would talk to these teams, I'm like, you don't understand them,
Like the heart that lurks behind this guy's ribcage is
(32:37):
way more loving than anybody knows.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
You wouldn't show it, you wouldn't let people know.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
But when we did get to see glimpses like that,
I think, man, that's your equity. Moving forward to showing
these players as.
Speaker 4 (32:48):
Well, I'll say this because because what what that what
that experience, you know, me and and and getting out
of maybe my comfort zone and talking to a group
of strangers that that had a different view of me.
It helped me get over that anxiety that that they're
(33:13):
not gonna care, they're gonna judge you. All of that
just noise that gets in the way of you opening
up and maybe blocking somebody that could be there to
help you out. You might have the same story as you.
Darn't even think about that.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
It's gotta be a little tough to you to walk
around going automatically thinking this person's gonna see me as
the olden smith who's fucked up, say the olden Smith's trial.
Speaker 4 (33:33):
I don't know if that was necessarily my narrative. I
think it was just overall like situation of a situation
of a situation and then just not knowing what I'm doing,
where I'm going, and then having all of the just
cycle of I just call it a cycle of shit.
Speaker 3 (33:55):
I like to just call for what it is to
be a clinical.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
Term right from straight up yeah, before I let you
go tell them what you're doing now.
Speaker 4 (34:04):
So aside from the speaking, I just dropped a I'm doing.
I'm putting the images that I've made on clothing. So
right now I'm doing this zodiac collection where I have
the zodiac signs. They're right, Gemini was last month, we're
in cancer now, and so I put you know, they
(34:24):
have like ruling planet and the characteristics, and they have
a spirit animal or something. I put them all into
a picture and put it on a shirt. And so
once again like it has meaning, and so like the
shirt will it highlights the what this person is about.
If you're born during this, this is what you know.
(34:44):
You have that you might not know. This is what
you know. It's a way of giving somebody some Hey,
I feel good about myself, you know hey, and it
feels good and it looks good.
Speaker 3 (34:54):
What are you doing with your art work right now?
With your drunks my drawings?
Speaker 4 (35:00):
Yeah? Oh nothing right now?
Speaker 2 (35:03):
I mean the way expressing yourself too, because there's a
way you're expressing yourself for your art work. It's fantastic.
Did you see the let me pull this hold on?
We've seen this that I'm working on.
Speaker 3 (35:15):
Oh no, I like that, Yeah, I get it. That's great. Now.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Most people can't see this. It's it's an audio, but
describe what it is total. Yeah, yeah, but that's my fault.
I probably should have sold you going in.
Speaker 4 (35:30):
Never find. But so this is the Zodiac theme is
what I'm on right now. And like it's cool shirts,
it's cool different pictures and images, but that's just this one.
I'm gonna in the future be doing something like the
next one's reflections and so it is a person that's
looking into the mirror and the reflection shows something different,
(35:54):
and it's how we see ourselves at different times of
our life. You know, I might look in the mirror
as grown up and see a little boy, vice versa.
I might be a little kid and I might see
a grown up because I've had to grow up fast
and because you know, I don't have a mom and
dad that's there for me. I gotta, you know, take
care of myself. And so it's a way for me
telling my story through art.
Speaker 3 (36:15):
Where where do people find.
Speaker 4 (36:16):
That I am Zodiac And that's just I am Zodiac.
Dot com is where this collection, the current collection that
I'm working on is at all the.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
Smiths man I am. I told you from day one,
I'm proud to walk this walk with you. I told
you always would no matter what, and we still are, man,
and I'm proud and dude, you you've been there for
me a lot also, man, and I'm proud for you
being there for me, proud of you checking up on me,
and I'm proud of you making sure that I get
out of some spirals. Man.
Speaker 4 (36:48):
I appreciate it. I want to tell you, man, like
it's it's so cool seeing like just this version of you,
and like it's honestly kind of like I'm kind of
like waiting for the bottle dup. I'm kind of like waiting, like, hey, hey,
you know, like you know is is you know, where's
jay At? But it's it's you're you can tell that
you're you're in a different space and that like it's
(37:10):
something that is where you want to be at. And
that's what I want for people. And I'm happy that
my friend gets to experience that.
Speaker 3 (37:17):
I love you, man, Thank you dude.
Speaker 2 (37:19):
But you know what, it goes back to what you said,
like we know how to work at things and work
at things, and I knew the thing I was missing
was love, and I worked at it and worked at
it and worked into God, I worked it and finally
after fifty four years, I have it and and it's
the first time I have it where I don't we're
not going to sabotage it, trying not to where I
think it's real and it's not going to leave, and
(37:39):
I feel like I'm deserving of it, which I just
never I'm getting used to being deserved to it as that, because,
like you said, I'm a work in progress too.
Speaker 3 (37:49):
But it's good man, you were you never got frustrated
with me.
Speaker 2 (37:52):
Dude, you are what was there for me and and
I think you appreciate it too, how much I felt
I needed to be there for you and what I
needed there for my soul.
Speaker 3 (38:00):
So you did get me on a different level than
most man.
Speaker 4 (38:03):
So I love him for that. Man, I appreciate it.
I appreciate you. Thanks for having like this is a
good conversation.
Speaker 3 (38:09):
Absolutely, dude.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
Well you know again, we're going to continue them offline
quite a bit, right, definitely, all right, Love you, brother,
Alden Smith, walking us walk together.
This is Unbreakable with Jay Glacier, a mental Wealth podcast
Build you from the inside out. Now here's Jay Glacier.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Welcome into Unbreakable, a mental Wealth podcast with Jay Glazer.
I'm Jay Glazer and I'm really pumped to have this guest.
It's interesting because I've met him twice, and what I
mean by meeting him twice in two different areas of
his life.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
I met him first time.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
When he was a star with the forty nine ers,
who am pure will correct me if I'm wrong here,
but at fourteen sacks as rookie year nineteen and a half,
his second year, and that's when I originally met him.
And I met him in up Mitch martial Arts fight
out in San Francisco.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
Or San Jose.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
And then I met him ten years later at my
gym Unbreakable and he was homeless. Two totally different lives,
but one, in my opinion, fountastic human and teammate to me,
and that is Olden Smith.
Speaker 4 (01:03):
Alden, how we doing, Bob, I'm doing good. I'm doing well.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
That's that for an introduction.
Speaker 4 (01:08):
That's a new one. I'm well, I'm well good man good.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
So you know, look, I want to have I love
having all than on and because All There is now
using a lot of his experience in the past, he's
going to start using to help players out not make
the same mistakes he's made, and other players made some
of the pitfalls of success in not just being a
professional football player, but pro athlete and success. So I
really want to dive in with him there.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Also we've had we've had quite.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
A journey together. So I don't know where you want
to start here, brother, but you've had a couple of
different comeback stories in life. I think this is a
great comeback for you also as far as it's not
on the field, but it can.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
Help players in life.
Speaker 4 (01:52):
Yeah, I'm actually gonna piggyback off of the comeback thing.
And I don't know if it ever was a comeback,
just because I think, if anything, I look at it
as like this progression ladder, and I got stopped in
my progression, you know, and things that got in the
(02:12):
way of it included things that I had control over,
things I didn't have control over, and me putting myself
in situations where now I'm stuck in this period of life,
you know. And so here I am started out life,
grow up get a chance to play pro ball. And
(02:33):
then as I'm growing as a man, I'm starting to
confront some things that I'm struggling with. And I didn't
know what those things were. You know, you know you're unhappy,
you know you don't well, I knew I didn't feel
a certain I know, I didn't feel like I was
being treated, and so by that, people were you know,
looked up to me and then they saw me as
this superstar and I didn't. I had low self esteem,
(02:56):
I had an anxiety in my sense of self was very
very negative. So I filled those gaps and I did
everything I could to live into that persona and substance
other addictions, and wasn't true. Wasn't being true to who
I was. And so what I mean by that is
(03:18):
I got stopped, you know, I let something halt my progress,
and so I was able to pick back up. And
now that's where I am now.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Well, look, I know exactly what you're talking about, because look.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Until I wrote Unbreakable, you know, and I gave I
told people words about you know, my depression anxiety, I
had a mask on all these years. I was the glaze.
You know, I created this character. You were this character
of this you know, superhuman NFL player who's got the
two of us have a lot of.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Struggles behind the eyes, and we just it was kind
of it's how you raise right to kind of my
eighty deal take over here.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
But like I trained all in an mma and and
trained them to come back in football. And one of
the things I would always say is, man, if you're
if you're tired, don't show it right all, then take
your hands off your hips.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Neutral face, neutral face. How many times did I say
that to you?
Speaker 2 (04:09):
And that's what got you and I in trouble in
life of hey, we're going to act a certain way
for the world to see us. We're gonna have this
neutral face, and that got the two of us to implode.
You know I I kind of could have had a
lot of situations where I was like you also and
ended up.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
In the wrong side of the lawn and and lose
it all. Thank god I didn't.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
But it's all about hiding that that hurt kid, that's
kind of inside us right.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
Definitely, I couldn't agree more. And they're you know, not
being authentic and having to put on has its I
guess lifestan and I think you know, a lot of
athletes unfortunately run into that inperior that publicly. And so
by that, I mean, you know, it was only a
(04:56):
matter of time before the things that I was doing
to mask who I was was seen and it and
it affected me in a way where I couldn't hide
it anymore.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Yeah, So just also hit a couple of things that
you and I dealt with. And I think this this
gets a lot of people and players, like right when
you you know, and we trained all and you got
signed by the Cowboys, and then all of a sudden,
like right before you're going to camp, You're like, oh,
I don't deserve it, I'm not worthy of it, so
I'm gonna.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
Go fuck it up. And I think that's you know
a lot of what a lot of people go through.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Also, like hey, I'm waiting for the sky to fall
because I don't deserve good things that happened for me,
And the pain of living in question of when that's
going to happen is often worse than the pain of
it happening.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
So we speed up the process.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
I want to say something about that, right, yep, you
know what it was? It was. I knew I was
about to enter into something that I didn't want to
be into and and I felt like I had once
again because I had taken I was off for like
five years. During that time, there was so much life
that I was experiencing, and I just discovered another side
(06:05):
of who I was becoming. And so by like when
it came time to sign the paper and everything, it
was all starting to come back and all the noise
was starting to enter back in and I didn't I
didn't know how to vocalize it. And I knew that
this isn't really what I want to do, but I'm
so far in that I'm in it, you know, And
(06:27):
I don't know if that does that make sense?
Speaker 3 (06:28):
Yeah? No, are you sure?
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Well?
Speaker 3 (06:30):
Let me answer you sure to? You didn't want to do?
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Is are more of a fear of Oh man, I'm
going to have to put that mask on again.
Speaker 4 (06:37):
A little combination of both, but more so like my
passion for football left when I left San Francisco, and
when it was time to come back, it was more
for a financial reason and there were some other factors
that went into play. I think the ego was still
trying to figure out, you know, can I do this?
(06:58):
You know? Like and wanted to just see if I
was still in it. And you know, once it all
started to happen and everything came, I didn't know how
to how to get away from it. So I went
back to my old routine, and that was, you know,
hiding and hiding it and just trying to be wherever
I needed to be for that day.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
And again, part of it also was the sobriety issue.
And I think we met and you were almost but
then you're sober living when you look.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Back at now.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Was that was it spread issues more coping with something
you didn't want to do or is it more of
it's coping with that the pain I had kind of from.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
A young kid on.
Speaker 4 (07:41):
So my sobriety issue stemmed from me not having a
relationship with myself that was honest and me not living
in my in my true self and so like that.
It wasn't necessarily like being around it. And you know,
it wasn't the alcohol. It was you know, I'm not
(08:04):
happy with who I am, I'm not happy with where
I am, and I do got to still, you know,
show up and do this. So this is the only
way I know how to do it.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
Yeah, And I look you and I talked to I
used to do the same thing with biking and alcohol.
I'm like, man, I have these terrible anxiety talks. I
said that the beast comes out of the box, and
I would say, well, shit, I got to show up
somewhere and be that the glaze.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
So we pop some biking in an alcohol and hopefully
that glaze comes back out.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
And then a lot of times they got me in trouble.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
But here's look the cool thing of I'm going to say,
a cool thing of happening to shit. You and I
have right because I want to take away the stigma
of you know, I said to you from day one,
I'm like, look, man, I'm fucked up and I'm good
with my fucked upness.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
When the truth is, I'm really learning how to be
good with my fucked upness.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
But it's cool that two very very very duly dudes
like me and you could come on here and talk
about things like this so raw and vulnerable and honest.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
Well, we don't have to.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Cover it up anymore with substances and Viking booze and
whatever else.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
We don't have to be that, and we want to
have been able to do this.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
I think you and I were always pretty vulnerable with
each other.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
Really, we've cried each other pretty much, you know.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
But for the most part, this wouldn't happen four years ago,
five years ago, where we could just come on here
and just open up and talk about it and then
kind of get not feel shamed.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
For it, right, kind of feel applauded for it.
Speaker 4 (09:23):
It definitely feels a lot different being in living consistently
in that space and not having to have a conversation
and then be on some bullshit when we're done talking, right,
And so it's good when you don't have to make.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Up something right, right, right, So tell me again, you're
going to start now talking to players, which is fantastic,
and I kind of want to, you know, give us
some of the bullet points that you're going to go
over with these guys, some of the knowledge that you
have from the experience you have that you could share
with these cats.
Speaker 4 (09:54):
So it's not just for players. My message is eventually
I would like to talk to whoever would like to
have me. But obviously I'm a player, I'm a former player,
and I really want to be able to impact people
with my journey. And so when I've gone and talked
to rookies and just people. The rookies that I've spoken with,
(10:16):
I've talked to them openly and honestly about what it
is that they're experiencing that I experienced and like what
is there? Why? Like why are you there? And do
you more of a more intro you know, internal conversation
that needs to be had because I had questions. I
(10:38):
had things that I wish I would have asked. I
wish I would have had the cool head off and
the more you know, hey.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
Like you just off your desk right there. You know
I'm not to let you get away with that.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
People who can't see all the he put his elbow
on his desk and fell off. Here's a world class
athlete just fell off his desk. I played this move,
but there's no way I'm letting you get past that.
Speaker 4 (11:09):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
But yeah, well, so give me it.
Speaker 5 (11:15):
Like some of the questions you said you wish you
would have asked, I wish I would have maybe had
a conversation about how I really feel about what I'm
about to enter and how prepared am I and and
with all of the other things.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
That I think I had around and just not having
the foundation not like not knowing where I want to
take everything, and maybe talking about you know, how do
I really feel about myself? So my conversations with the
players are just more of a know why you're here
(11:51):
and use this platform to do whatever you want. But
while you're in here, you know, if you're a football player,
that's one thing, but if you're good at playing football,
it's a different thing. You know, being a football player
it takes consistency, it takes discipline, it takes you know,
you got to be vulnerable. There's a lot of things
that go into this like that you have to have
(12:14):
if you want to have this career. I was good
at football. In my opinion, I'm one of the best
to ever play football. But I'm definitely not in the
best football player list. And so there's two different sides
and a lot of guys get it messed up and
they don't understand that this. You know, this can get
you through college. Being a good football player gets you
(12:35):
through college. I'm sorry, being good at football would get
you through. But being a football player is how you
have a Hall of Fame career, or you just have
a career where you don't have issues. You know, because
when you're just good at something, then you know you
have a lot of other things that you're probably trying
to like fit into that lifestyle, but that is your lifestyle.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
It's interesting, you know.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
I Chris Long on this podcast and he said I've
done Yeah, I played football, played football, played football, and.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
He said my advice the players would be like, you know.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
He jumped right in to doing his podcast and he goes,
I didn't get a chance to really learn who Chris
Long was right, And it's pretty much what you're saying,
right if like, hey, don't even wait till it's over,
early on, learn who you are, Like, learn about yourself.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
Is that what you're saying.
Speaker 4 (13:23):
Yes, thing about being in any professional sport I feel like,
but mainly football, I guess is you are. It's kind
of like stunt your growth because you have everything that's
usually taking care. You don't have to do anything you
don't There's certain things that you either appoint people to
do and you just don't do. And so when that
life's time is cut short, if it's thirty five, twenty
(13:44):
five or thirty nine or forty, your peers are usually
you know, they got families, they got they know how
to like they know how to do build like they
have they know a lot of more life skills, or
they might have a lot more life skills experienced than
you do. And then you're kind of left with, like,
what the hell do I do? Because no matter how
much money you have or how little money you have,
(14:04):
you still don't have a purpose in a way. You know,
you might not know what it is that you really
enjoyed because you've been doing something for twenty plus years
and so it's over and now I'm like, and so
what I try to talk to the guys about is
instead of using that after practice time for the call
of duty or the two K you know, try and
(14:25):
like maybe figure out what it is that you like
outside of that.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Right is it also is a pushing Also, Hey, guys,
lean in the therapist. Start working on yourself that way.
I don't know how it was for you back then,
but I think it's it's certainly more more accepting now
than it was.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
And you're ads you were playing especially early on. Yeah,
something you're pushing.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
I don't know if pushing is it, but it's more
And so it's about being honest with yourself. And so
by being honest with yourself if okay, I'm not feeling
this way today, have somebody you can have that diet with.
And if you don't have anybody, then hopefully you can
have a conversation within that is honest, that you can
(15:06):
get the answers and then take the steps and some
other things. I mean, it's if you're gonna have people
around you, because I'm like trying to I'm being you know,
real about it. If you're gonna have ten girls that
you choose to hang around, let at least eight of
those be for you, you know, And that's just real because
it's it's for you helping you get to where you're
(15:28):
trying to go. You don't have to hide from that.
You can be your true self that you can talk
to that that can be an asset instead of somebody
who you have to show off how much you got
and how much like that you have to show off for.
Because when you have ten, then they're gonna be gone
and you're gonna be left with, you know, the same
(15:49):
person that was walking in there.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
I think that's interesting because you're not saying these guys, hey,
go be a choirboy, don't be with women. If you're
gonna live that this ball or life they want to live.
You're even kind of giving them skills within that lifestyle.
At least help yourself here, let them let it, let
it help you grow in a certain way, which I
think is interesting because most people go, Nope, can't live
that lifestyle. Women don't deal with them. They're just gonna
(16:11):
fuck you up. And you know, all these these sharks are.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
Going to take your here.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
So I think that's the first time I ever heard
it that way, which pretty interesting.
Speaker 4 (16:18):
Yeah, because that advice doesn't work, and telling somebody not
to do something doesn't work.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Yeah, what advice do you wish this Alden Smith could
have given Alden Smith when the wheels started coming off?
Speaker 4 (16:32):
I think the wheels needed to come off, wow, because
of where I am now.
Speaker 3 (16:38):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
And I don't think I get to be here without
them coming off.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
So you're telling them to give yourself a little grace
for instead of beating up on yourself for it.
Speaker 4 (16:46):
Yeah. I mean, I let that period be that period,
and I'm fortunate enough to have gone through that because
it gives me perspective on how things feel. Because you
can't tell somebody how to overcome something if you've never
dealt with it in that way you were.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
You were talking about difference between a football player and
being good at football. There's a player I was training
who told them straight out. I said, hey, man, I
heard you. You don't like football.
Speaker 3 (17:13):
He said nope. And I said, well, I.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Think our train's too hard unless you love football. And
he said, well I don't. I said, I don't think
we're right for you. Well you know, what, can I
get you to love being great at football?
Speaker 3 (17:24):
And he said I could do that.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
So I was like, okay, if my point of you is,
can you if you're great at football, can you get
guys to change over to be a great football player if.
Speaker 4 (17:39):
You're good at playing football? Right? Right, it's two kinds
of different things, right, I'll say for me it was,
and I think for some some some people it is
because it's not your priority. You know, like if you're
good at it, then it's not like this is what
you live, sleep and this is where you, this is
(17:59):
where you, this is what you're into. You know, like
you can like it and you can be good at it.
But like most of the time, people don't get a
chance to discover their other gifts. You know, you start
some people start football at such an early age that
you don't get to develop. If you see if you
can draw, or if you can sing, or if you
can and it's not popular, it's not cool, it's not
(18:20):
gonna get you the bag. You're you're not as confident
as you are in this, then you are in that.
You know. It all goes back to like that relationship
with yourself. If you've only been put in this lane
and you excel at that, you don't even discover these
other lanes.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
I love that, dude, I really I love it. You're
right because making you more of a complete person. If
you're a complete person, and if you want to be
a football player, you can be more complete football player.
But like you said, if you realize it's not the
laying everyone in the world has put me in that box,
it's not the box that I want to be in,
then I can give you more strength to step out
of that box despite what we all may thic.
Speaker 4 (18:55):
Well, another thing is a lot of times when you're
in that setting of the football all the tough guy,
it goes along with that progression thing. You don't allow empathy,
you don't allow, you don't you don't allow yourself to
be cared about, and you don't care about others because
you're so used to that gladiator mentality that you supposed
to be are supposed to have that you put walls
(19:17):
up and you block off things that might be there
to help you. It's hard to accept help. By the
time you get to the league and you need a therapist,
you're so your mind that it's not gonna happen.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
Man, it's fat.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
You know again, I know you're probably better than most people.
It's fascinating and that what I'm fascinating is you do
constantly evolve and it's it's constant growth. And like you're saying, like,
it's got to be some hard times in it to grow.
But you know, it's funny because the rest of us
don't want those hard times.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
Try adversity and I need them, right.
Speaker 4 (19:51):
Adversity is necessary.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
It's a gift.
Speaker 4 (19:54):
And I'm telling you, like it's I'm kind of getting
into this thing where people are like, you're trying to
help people. I don't like seeing change, but to get
over a hump brow grow right, And unfortunately I believe
like it unless you have a reason to and a
reason that I can't give to you like, it's going
(20:15):
to be difficult to get you to you know, Like
I went through hell. So I kept hitting my head
and hitting my head and that's you know. And so
the first time I hit my head, I want think
about changing, you know what I mean? The third time
I want think about changing. And so it took like damn,
this is important because I don't want to hit my head. See,
people haven't hit their head enough. So how you're gonna
(20:37):
tell somebody that hasn't hit their head enough that they
need to change?
Speaker 2 (20:41):
You keep bang your head against the wall head again, right,
right and over For some rights, they're saying, Samdia is
doing the same thing over and over again. Open the changes,
right or something along those lines. Give me something else
that you want to teach these players about some of
the pitfalls. But there's another message for them. I mean,
we spoke about it, but it's it's you.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
What about the money issue.
Speaker 4 (21:02):
I'm gonna say this on that. On the what I
have to say to the players and every anybody is
you know right now. Instagram was just coming out when
I started, and so the likes in the it wasn't
that big of a deal. And so the external factors
were more like the coaches and the teammates and the
girls and stuff like that. But now with it being
(21:23):
the way it is, it's important that like the enter
relationship has to be that much more, you know, together,
because if you're you know, checking your likes instead of
your your coach's notes, you know, it's you're not really
it's gonna be You're gonna get you might have an
awesome game and somebody might not like it, and then
you're all on your head, you know what I mean.
(21:44):
And so it's important that the external validation like it's
gonna be there, but like, don't let that be your
sole focus of determining if you're good or bad. Like
it's all right, and so like I just want to
like have that type of dialogue with people poor just
because of I know how much I know where my
(22:09):
mind goes when I focus on what their thinking.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Yeah, dude, it's interesting you said that because and I
never heard it said that way, Like, hey, your coach
is good, so everybody just you know, every player gets
graded out by their coaches every game, And you're right,
you could have a never dude, I never even thought
about this until just now. You could have a great
grade by your coaches. But if some dick bags are
hitting you on fucking Twitter and just telling you what
a ship, how fucking much you suck, that voice becomes
(22:36):
louder than really the people who matter and all that.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
I don't know how.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
I don't know what the answer is to get people
to realize that see it like they don't matter. Look,
I think also like, like, I'm emotional, My feeling hurt.
You know, my feelings get hurt easily, very easily. All
that has been around a lot of players are feeling.
They're very emotional. Your feelings get hurt just because you're
rich in fantis don't mean our feelings hurt less. But
(23:01):
I've never heard said that.
Speaker 6 (23:03):
How do we get guys to not put as much
stock into that comment on Instagram or Twitter and put
more stock into the people who do matter.
Speaker 4 (23:14):
They have to do more work on finding out who
they truly are, because the more you know who you are,
the less you care about what they talk about. That's
that's my that's my solution.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
What's the biggest thing you've done to find out where
you are?
Speaker 4 (23:30):
Making it a priority? You know, like and by that
when you want something, nothing can really stop you from
getting it like it, and it's like, that's the honest
truth is, people. I wanted a better life, but I
didn't do the things necessary consistently to put myself in
(23:53):
a position to get that, And so I had to
come into this whole thing with a childlike approach, meaning
listening and being vulnerable and taking direction and things I
might not agree with, things I might be biased about.
But since I've heard it's good, since I've read it works,
(24:15):
I mean, go ahead and put that in instead of
the my consistent line of cycle of whatever I'm interested in.
And I started doing that and doing that and doing that,
and it's working.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
I think a lot of times, you know, we have
to go through war like until I kind of two
years ago, remember I did.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
I took this journey to Thailand for like thirty five days.
I'm dealing with these monks and man like I've always
kind of been.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
At war with a universe of like like I'm a
big god guy, as you know, but like, man, why
am I on loved? Why am I unlovable? Why do
all this shit happen to me? And kind of woar
was me thinking? And then wasn't it until like there's
like twenty days and working with these fucking bunks and
finally like like hey, almost like the universe. And God
(25:03):
said to me, like you needed to feel this pain
so you can help others through theirs.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
Not even for me, but I think you know me,
what gets me.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
In off is helping others, being of service to everybody
else but me. It was really the first time, like wow,
I kind of get it now. At the same time,
they said to me, but we need you to see
that we made all your other dreams come true to
keep you afloat, And I think that I've come to
peace with that pain.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
Sometimes I'm like, well, it's not fair, But for.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
The most part now I'm like, hey, I get it now,
and I'm glad I could be of service.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
Where are you with your pain?
Speaker 4 (25:43):
It's a good question. I'll say, I let it when
I feel it. I don't try to push it away.
I think for me, I don't have that refill. I
don't have that person that I can really have a
dialogue with consistently to maybe give me something of what
I think I need or what I'm what I'm maybe
(26:05):
looking for. And that's like a it's like a positive
and a negative because what ends up happening is I
end up just having to search more and do more
internal work to try to find out what the solution is.
But the pain is the pain. I think, if anything,
what I've been able to do with those people those
incidences is I don't like saying forgive, but I understand it.
(26:32):
I get it, Like I understand where they were coming from.
I understand what they didn't know, you know, Like there's
so much that factors into it. It doesn't make it okay,
it doesn't make it, you know, but it's it's one
of those things of like I've hurt people too, you know,
(26:53):
I've done wrong too. I've made mistakes too. It's when
I get a chance to interact again if I do
with those people or whoever, I choose not to bring
that with me into that and in the new relationships.
And that's not into me. That's just relationships in general.
I don't bring I just I'm mean, you know, I
(27:16):
think a lot of times in relationships in the past,
I know I've you know, trauma bonding or whatever the
case may be, where you know, you want somebody who's
gone through what you've been through and all that, and
it's like that's you do maybe want that, but at
the same time, you maybe don't want that because that's
too unheeled. People connecting and who knows that can either
go this way or that way. And so I just
(27:37):
try to be I don't try to be anything.
Speaker 3 (27:39):
I just be.
Speaker 4 (27:39):
I'm mean and if it's and if as long as
I'm doing the things that I'm supposed to be doing,
the person that I'm presenting should be somebody be black.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
Do you have regrets? No, that's exactly what I wanted
to hear. Oh, that's what I was hoping to hear.
I didn't know where you're gonna go with it. No,
I think no, because it's your journey.
Speaker 3 (28:03):
It's where we are right like and again, but now
you're using the tail brothers. Now I'm using it to
help others.
Speaker 4 (28:09):
I was just going to say, like, with the regrets
and with the thinking about the pain and everything that happened,
it takes away from where you're supposed to be looking
and that's forward. You know, when you're looking forward and
you're in your lane, you don't see, you don't hear
the people talking shit on the outside. You're not thinking
about what happened to me when I was twelve. You're
(28:30):
focused on this, and that helped that saying that's that
external shit, that's that's the noise, and that's why you know,
as I was in my progression matter and I'm now
I'm in the league, and I got all this pulling
me this way, that way and that way. You know,
I got the trauma, the oh, the self stid like
and it's just doing this and I'm still trying to
(28:51):
do this, but like I can't cause I'm how can I?
And so it's like, okay, now now we're good, because
there's only one way to go. Yeah, it doesn't matter
if you think this is good or not. I believe
it's gonna you know.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
And so look, we all progressive certain things, but not
to the point you want to talking about it is
like now, I think that's a big part of anyone's
growth is anxiety, is when we beat up on ourselves
for things in the past and when we're worried about
either doing the same thing or something else in the future,
instead of just living in this moment and looking forward.
As you're saying, I think that's great, I was, you know,
(29:27):
it's something I'm still working on I still think I'm
you know, working on healing some of those things from
from the past, you know.
Speaker 4 (29:34):
And let me say this, like I am in no
way a finished product, and so like I'm right there
with you in the healing thing. And that's another reason why,
like I started doing the art and in letting other
people see it because.
Speaker 3 (29:49):
Very talented me.
Speaker 4 (29:49):
In a thank you, it gave me an avenue. I
really appreciate it. It gave me an avenue to let
out to express myself and then there's a lot of
different ways to do it.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
I was very and you know what, I always made
a point too to make sure you knew I was
proud of you for that. That it wasn't just proud
of the football thing or the journey that we were on.
I always knew that, hey, that was what my friend needs.
That's like what he'd appreciate. But I did really like
I meant it like Man's I was Friday for it.
Speaker 4 (30:23):
I just want you to know that I don't know,
I appreciate that, you know.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
And I look back to we did pull off something
though that is unprecedented. Regardless, I mean I met oh,
he was homeless and we were hanging after a while.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
He was part of our charity.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
MVP, and it wasn't until he said, Hey, it's my fault.
I'm the reason I'm in this situation. And I said
to him, everyone wanted to play in the league. Ina
He's like, ah, I've been out for four years, it's
not gonna happen. I'm like, bro, I pulled off crazier shit,
and man, I'll just never forget like that first game
you against the Rams, just my away from where you
(31:00):
were living in a shelter, you know, and you were homeless.
Speaker 3 (31:04):
Now you're sitting there on you know, natural TV and
end up smashing the Rabs.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
Know that that that game, Uh, you know, Meil, I
kind of do kind of wild ship.
Speaker 3 (31:16):
And I am proud that you and I walked to
walk together do something like that.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
I hope even though you, hey, didn't want to really play,
I hope that you can appreciate that I did something
that really has never been done before.
Speaker 4 (31:27):
Now. I'm grateful for honestly everybody that was a part
of that process, and especially at the gym. I mean,
you you know, zag Jason, Justed. I've always wanted to
have that family, like that's what That's what attracted me
(31:50):
to go to Missou. That's what I loved about the Niners,
And that's what I've always wanted because I didn't, you know,
have that and so those are people and you know,
that's an experience I you know, I hold it in
my heart.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
And folks, it wasn't even just training old and we
trained like a fire and we had.
Speaker 3 (32:10):
Him holy shit, we we had him as a human weapon.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
But it was also doing things like we had him
reading to kids at night on Zoom, Like it was
being a complete person to get you back there, and
that's what you could see it, like, I'm not just
trying to get Oh, I'm going to train a guy
to have be bigger, stronger, faster. It's so much more
than that. And that's the thing for me. When I
would talk to these teams, I'm like, you don't understand them,
Like the heart that lurks behind this guy's ribcage is
(32:37):
way more loving than anybody knows.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
You wouldn't show it, you wouldn't let people know.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
But when we did get to see glimpses like that,
I think, man, that's your equity. Moving forward to showing
these players as.
Speaker 4 (32:48):
Well, I'll say this because because what what that what
that experience, you know, me and and and getting out
of maybe my comfort zone and talking to a group
of strangers that that had a different view of me.
It helped me get over that anxiety that that they're
(33:13):
not gonna care, they're gonna judge you. All of that
just noise that gets in the way of you opening
up and maybe blocking somebody that could be there to
help you out. You might have the same story as you.
Darn't even think about that.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
It's gotta be a little tough to you to walk
around going automatically thinking this person's gonna see me as
the olden smith who's fucked up, say the olden Smith's trial.
Speaker 4 (33:33):
I don't know if that was necessarily my narrative. I
think it was just overall like situation of a situation
of a situation and then just not knowing what I'm doing,
where I'm going, and then having all of the just
cycle of I just call it a cycle of shit.
Speaker 3 (33:55):
I like to just call for what it is to
be a clinical.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
Term right from straight up yeah, before I let you
go tell them what you're doing now.
Speaker 4 (34:04):
So aside from the speaking, I just dropped a I'm doing.
I'm putting the images that I've made on clothing. So
right now I'm doing this zodiac collection where I have
the zodiac signs. They're right, Gemini was last month, we're
in cancer now, and so I put you know, they
(34:24):
have like ruling planet and the characteristics, and they have
a spirit animal or something. I put them all into
a picture and put it on a shirt. And so
once again like it has meaning, and so like the
shirt will it highlights the what this person is about.
If you're born during this, this is what you know.
(34:44):
You have that you might not know. This is what
you know. It's a way of giving somebody some Hey,
I feel good about myself, you know hey, and it
feels good and it looks good.
Speaker 3 (34:54):
What are you doing with your art work right now?
With your drunks my drawings?
Speaker 4 (35:00):
Yeah? Oh nothing right now?
Speaker 2 (35:03):
I mean the way expressing yourself too, because there's a
way you're expressing yourself for your art work. It's fantastic.
Did you see the let me pull this hold on?
We've seen this that I'm working on.
Speaker 3 (35:15):
Oh no, I like that, Yeah, I get it. That's great. Now.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Most people can't see this. It's it's an audio, but
describe what it is total. Yeah, yeah, but that's my fault.
I probably should have sold you going in.
Speaker 4 (35:30):
Never find. But so this is the Zodiac theme is
what I'm on right now. And like it's cool shirts,
it's cool different pictures and images, but that's just this one.
I'm gonna in the future be doing something like the
next one's reflections and so it is a person that's
looking into the mirror and the reflection shows something different,
(35:54):
and it's how we see ourselves at different times of
our life. You know, I might look in the mirror
as grown up and see a little boy, vice versa.
I might be a little kid and I might see
a grown up because I've had to grow up fast
and because you know, I don't have a mom and
dad that's there for me. I gotta, you know, take
care of myself. And so it's a way for me
telling my story through art.
Speaker 3 (36:15):
Where where do people find.
Speaker 4 (36:16):
That I am Zodiac And that's just I am Zodiac.
Dot com is where this collection, the current collection that
I'm working on is at all the.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
Smiths man I am. I told you from day one,
I'm proud to walk this walk with you. I told
you always would no matter what, and we still are, man,
and I'm proud and dude, you you've been there for
me a lot also, man, and I'm proud for you
being there for me, proud of you checking up on me,
and I'm proud of you making sure that I get
out of some spirals. Man.
Speaker 4 (36:48):
I appreciate it. I want to tell you, man, like
it's it's so cool seeing like just this version of you,
and like it's honestly kind of like I'm kind of
like waiting for the bottle dup. I'm kind of like waiting, like, hey, hey,
you know, like you know is is you know, where's
jay At? But it's it's you're you can tell that
you're you're in a different space and that like it's
(37:10):
something that is where you want to be at. And
that's what I want for people. And I'm happy that
my friend gets to experience that.
Speaker 3 (37:17):
I love you, man, Thank you dude.
Speaker 2 (37:19):
But you know what, it goes back to what you said,
like we know how to work at things and work
at things, and I knew the thing I was missing
was love, and I worked at it and worked at
it and worked into God, I worked it and finally
after fifty four years, I have it and and it's
the first time I have it where I don't we're
not going to sabotage it, trying not to where I
think it's real and it's not going to leave, and
(37:39):
I feel like I'm deserving of it, which I just
never I'm getting used to being deserved to it as that, because,
like you said, I'm a work in progress too.
Speaker 3 (37:49):
But it's good man, you were you never got frustrated
with me.
Speaker 2 (37:52):
Dude, you are what was there for me and and
I think you appreciate it too, how much I felt
I needed to be there for you and what I
needed there for my soul.
Speaker 3 (38:00):
So you did get me on a different level than
most man.
Speaker 4 (38:03):
So I love him for that. Man, I appreciate it.
I appreciate you. Thanks for having like this is a
good conversation.
Speaker 3 (38:09):
Absolutely, dude.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
Well you know again, we're going to continue them offline
quite a bit, right, definitely, all right, Love you, brother,
Alden Smith, walking us walk together.
Fox Sports Radio News
Host
Jonas Knox
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