Best of The Ben Maller Show

Big Ben talks about the Indianapolis Colts signing 44-year-old QB Philip Rivers, the Dodgers signing closer Edwin Diaz, Maller to the Third Degree, #QueenOfHearts w/ LaReina, Password: Word Game of the Stars, and more!

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Episode Transcript

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This is the best of the Ben Mahler Show on
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I see Supermarket Steve nodding his head in approval. So
some wild wild rivers in the NFL our lead out
of Indianapolis. The Colts not a playoff team at this moment,

(02:30):
but they are the talk of the town in the NFL.
And years ago, I ran a gossip website, a sports
gossip website, and the philosophy in our newsroom was that
today's rumors or tomorrow's headlines. In this case, yesterday's rumors
are today's headlines as it has happened. Yet again. What
is it? What is it? What is it? What is it?

(02:51):
What is it? If you have not heard, I assume
you know by now you've connected the dots. You're not
a complete moron. The Indianapolis Colts have decided we are
signing on the dotted line forty four year old quarterback
Philip Rivers. He's back, Philip Rivers out of retirement. Signing

(03:12):
him now initially to the practice squad. That is a
really a clerical move by the Colts. You put him
on the practice squad to start. The move comes less
than twenty four hours after the story popped up in
the gossip mill of the NFL and Colts coach Shane
Stiken confirming that Daniel Jones snap crackle pop, he gone

(03:36):
hell missed the rest of the season and likely next
season as well, with a popped achilles tendon. And Riley Leonard,
who wasn't thought of as any more than a developmental quarterback.
And he's got a bum right knee. Welcome to the club.
So he's dinged up and you've got a rippin'. That's

(03:58):
about it at quarterback right now. So Rivers, who has
not taken a meaningful snap since the twenty twenty season,
is a January of twenty twenty one playoff game, which, oh,
by the ways, last time the Colts made the playoffs.
And that's it. So this was the news that we
thought might happen. Well, now it's happened Colter eight and

(04:20):
five and they have gone back to Philip Rivers, who
has been coaching at Saint Michael High School in Fair Hope,
Alabama ever since. So that's good jumping off point. Let
us discuss the question for the esteem panel what is
the big picture? What is the big picture on Philip

(04:41):
Rivers parachuting in to save the day. It's like, you're
in a tough spot. Who are you gonna call. Let's
get a parashooter to come in here and save the day.
Philip Rivers at age forty four parachuting in to Indianapolis.
So my thoughts on this, I've got bowlow, mother nature
and and better lighting, and we will combine all of

(05:05):
these things together and we are going to have a
smorgasborg of goodness is what we're going to have. So
a the way I look at the Philip Rivers story
as an outside party and just kind of observing. It's
like going to the zoo and you're not actually where
the elephants are. You're outside of where the elephants are,
but you're looking at the elephants, you know, like, oh,

(05:26):
look at the trunk on that or that one's pooping.
Those two over there making whoopee. There's a lot going on.
There's a lot going on there. But this is binary,
is what it is. Right, it's black and white, it's
rise and fall. It's get a trophy or splatter or
make the playoffs or a splatter or something like that.
But really, to me, there's no middle ground on this.

(05:48):
There's no gray area. There's no little moral victory or
any of that mumbo jumbo, which some I'm sure we'll
toss out. The whole thing plays like a Hollywood reboot.
It's a Hollywood reboot. They're out of original ideas. We've
known that for years in Hollywood, and so they green
lighted Rivers the Return. Oh, it's right, the Rivers the

(06:08):
Return or is it a Netflix docu series? But the
opening scene I've already storyboarded it, so the opening scene
of this Rivers The Return. You've got Rivers changing his
grandson's diaper in a backwater town in the boondocks of Alabama,
surrounded by a whole lot of nothing, and he wipes

(06:31):
his hands, cleans the poop poo off the hands, and
then grabs his backpack and flies off to Indianapolis. And
suddenly he becomes the Bolo Tie Crusader. He's a sidekick.
It's kind of the Batman universe, right, the Bolo tie Crusader.
And there he is leading the horse convoy down the

(06:56):
tunnel and out the play game, Get the game. And
the fantasy ending here, of course, is the if it's
the Disney movie, then the Colts win the championship and
Philip Rivers is the MVP. He holds up the Lombardi Trophy.
He's carried off the field a La Rudy by his
teammates who are young enough to be his kids, and

(07:17):
then goes back to grandpa duty and then you fade
to black. You roll the credits, and that's it. Now
there is an alternative cut on this flick Rivers Liberturn.
So what would that be? You asked, I'll tell you.
Thanks for asking that alternative cut for the Philip Rivers film.
Rivers plays about five snaps this weekend, and Pop goes

(07:42):
the Achalles Snap Crackle Pop and he goes back to
Alabama for surgery and boom or in this case top
boom movie over. That's it, turn out the lads, the
parties old. Now look, we again have no skin in

(08:05):
the game. We don't. And I think it's gonna be fun.
I'm looking I like fun. People think I don't like fun.
I like fun. I enjoy it. I'm looking forward to this.
And Indye ordered extra sauce before the trade deadline, Sauce
Gardner because they believed that this Frankenstein concoction of a

(08:25):
roster was good enough to win the AFC. Right right now,
they're not even a playoff team. Playoffs. You got New
England and Denver at the top of the AFC. Now
most believe that those teams are beatable. Got to get
in the playoffs, though, I'm pretty sure you can't win
the super Bowl. No one's ever won the Super Bowl
if you don't get in the playoffs. So you have

(08:46):
to get into the playoffs. That's the baseline. You got
to get into the playoffs. And so now they're going
to have a new general of the connival in Indianapolis
and Colts football, though at least for this weekend. And
we'll see if this goes okay, but it becomes like
nineteen nineties NBC television must see TV for the Indianapolis cults.

(09:08):
Here is this going to be an epic train wreck?
And if Rivers goes out there and plays like our grandpa,
I told you, I told you can't play. Oh my god,
what are they doing? Oh my god? Of course, then
if he plays well, if it's a magic carpet rise,
Oh it's so good. I told you. Oh he's some
great It's that kind of me. So buckle up, bucker room,

(09:31):
all right. Now, staying with the theme of the hour,
as the rivers flow, So continuing the theme here, the
state sponsored probed the news service of the NFL, the
NFL Network, the mouthpiece for NFL propaganda. So the NFL
Network tells us that Philip Rivers has a quote very

(09:52):
real chance of starting week fifteen for the Colts as
they take on Seattle this weekend. So the question should
the Colts throw quarterback Philip Rivers into the fire fire

(10:13):
against the Seattle Seahawk. So my answer is, oh my god, yes, yes, Indian.
Throw Philip Rivers into the inferno and bring extra gasoline,
bring a match or cigarette light or whatever you got there,
and just have a great time. Just bring some marshmallows,

(10:34):
bring some chocolate, some gram crackers who make some smores.
And the man is forty four years old, which I
don't think. I don't think you're on your deathbed at
age forty four. He's got that Grandpa energy, Big Gram's energy,
Big Gramps. He's I guess he's eligible when he goes
to Seattle, he can go out, have the early Bird
special and knock himself out. And well, here's a When

(10:58):
you bring in a forty four year old quarterback who
played like a gazillion years in the NFL, that's the personification,
the epitome of out of the box quarterback. No assembly
required for Philip Rivers. Right, muscle memory takes over here.
That's how this goes. You don't stash that in your
attic like some forgotten Christmas decorations from years ago or anything

(11:22):
like that. And what you are saving him? What are
you saving him for? What's the point of saving him? Well,
we don't want to get him hurt because he's our
future court. No, he's going to be back in Fair Hope, Alabama,
coaching high school football for the Warriors whatever they're called,
next year. So that's it. Are you saving him for

(11:45):
a rainy day? Spoiler alert? Spiler alert? I looked at
the forecast. Congratulations, it's supposed to rain for the Colts
in the Seahawks game in Seattle. So mother Nature herself,
Mother Nature is screaming, play him, that's what she's literally,
She's play him. She screamed that literally. So the Colts

(12:08):
have as much choice as a guy stuck in gridlock traffic.
There's nut you're stuck. You got to get where you're going,
so you sit in the traffic and there's really no
other way to go. And that's the Colts with Philip Rivers.
And so the recipe here for Shane Stike it's rather simple.
It's straight out of Michael Angelo's Chisel. And what you

(12:30):
do here is it's simplicity, is what it is. That's
the key to success. Simplicity, And you hand the ball
Jonathan Taylor like fifty times. You just keep running the
ball and you hand it to Taylor like you're handing
out canoli's. You get a canoli, you get a canoli,
you get a canoli, and you keep rivers with the
elementary school passing offense everything around the line of scrimmage.

(12:53):
Maybe take two or three shots down the field, but
the rest of it is crayons. It's not calculus. With
Philip River is playing quarterback. So that's what you do.
And you force Sam Darnald to do Sam Donald's trademark things,
which is sea ghost and very rarely does he have
a full game. We saw in fact, the Seattle team

(13:14):
beat the crap out of the Falcons. If you watch
the game in the first half, Sam Darnald is terrible
in the first half. So he has a bad half
in this game if it's the first half, and that
sets the Colts up, puts him in a good position
here and then boom, you're golden, golden, golden Goldan is
what you are there, and that's the cookbook, that's the recipe,

(13:37):
and that's the gospel. So that's what you do with Grandpa.
Put him out there.

Speaker 2 (13:42):
Now.

Speaker 1 (13:42):
Meanwhile, the last word on this, as for the chatter,
oh my god, what about the gold jacket? What about
the gold jacket. Shove it up. Your tuckis with the
gold jacket. So the question here, since he is returning
to the NFL, Philip Rivers now will delay his opportunity

(14:04):
to get to the Hall of Fame. God forbid you
end up getting voted in the Hall of Fame and
still play. So Rivers will have to wait five more years.
All of the horror five more years, and of course
the arguments will even make the Hall of Fame. Is
this a big deal, a little deal or no deal?
The fact that Philip Rivers is gonna have to wait

(14:26):
an extra five years to find out about the Hall
of Fame. So to me, it's no deal, none zippo,
squad douche is the way I would answer this. And
here's why. To me, this is not some kind of
added weight for Philip Rivers. It's not some kind of
conspiracy or controversy or anything like that. It is a

(14:47):
clerical pause. It's a clerical pause at the NFL Bronze
bust morgue. Right now, I've been to Hall of Fames.
I don't have a problem with Hall of Fames. But
the issue is this the Hall of Fame. We spend
a lot of time on sports radio and sports you know,
conversation talking about who's a hall of fame, who's the goat.

(15:08):
It's a lot of our time is wasted on this
kind of stuff. That's an actual goat right there. But
the Hall of Fame, it's if you look at it,
and I know I'm gonnaet killed for this, I don't care.
It doesn't matter. It looks great on a post guard.
And I'd like to go to the Pro Football Hall
of Fame someday. I'm not against it. I'd like to

(15:28):
go and check it out. However, when you peel back
the onion on the Pro Football Hall of Fame, it's
a mausoleum with better lighting. That's what it is. It's
you go there and it's like, I'd much rather be
in the Hall of Fame than a cemetery. Mostly end
up in cemetery, but I'd rather end up there. And

(15:49):
by the way, let's let's try not to look at
the will to Beast in the room. What is the
will the Beast in the room? Philip rivers, it is
an incan venient truth, does not have a Hall of
Fame resume. Oh my god, that's blasphemy. What are you
talking about you lost your lightning bolt. No, I have

(16:10):
not let me make my elevator pitch as to why,
in fact I would larree. You never had a Hall
of Fame resume. And the guy was a horrible big
game Quebeck, which is kind of my right, like, oh,
he's gonna leave the Colts to the super Bowl, which
would change his Hall of Fame trajectory, all right, Because this,
if you go back Philip Rivers in San Diego, you
could make the argument if he actually won. The Chargers

(16:32):
had super Bowl worthy teams multiple times when Rivers was there.
If they had won a super Bowl, they likely would
have convinced the politicians in San Diego to build the stadium.
Therefore they would still be the San Diego Chargers. But
Philip Rivers was such a choke artist in big games
that they didn't get the funding, they didn't get the
taxpayer money, and so they ended up going to LA

(16:54):
and doing whatever they're doing in LA. But he was
a terrible corback. Zero super Bowls, one AFC title game
in his time in San Diego, four playoff wins in
seventeen season. And it's not like he was on bad teams.
They were usually pretty good. The Chargers were usually pretty good.
Four playoff wins, seventeen seasons as Charge at quarterback. Come on, now,

(17:15):
I mean that's does that well? He said, well that's
our team award. Okay. He spent his whole career as
not the third wheel. Philip Rivers were like the fifth wheel.
When you look at his generation, the greatest quarterback generation
of all time, you had Tom Brady, Drew Brees, Peyton Manning,
Aaron Rodgers, and then Philip Rivers, who was like Ringo

(17:38):
Star if you get the reference. Okay, he was there,
but it's like other people were more important, Like the
other ones were better, but he was there. He was
a Ringo Star was there, but you know he was
a beatle. But the other ones were kind of bigger deal.
You know what I'm saying. You know, it's like Ringo
Star without the drumsticks. And never an All Pro and
that's a big one. That is a big one. Never

(18:00):
Philip Rivers never made an All Pro team. He didn't
even make a second team All Pro the Pro Bowl.
Nobody cares about the Pro Bowls. They played. They played
tic tac toe and grab ass. At the Pro Bowl.
They got rid of it. So he didn't make the
first or second team All Pro Rivers. He was never
in the top two in the MVP voting. Ever. I
think he finished fourth one time, I believe. And so

(18:23):
that's not a Canton Ohio resume. That's the waiting room
with no magazines and that's it and no Wi Fi.
But what about the old time numbers, what about the
sixties something thousand yards passing and the four hundred plus
touchdowns and all that stuff. Well, that is compiler nation,

(18:45):
is what the now you want to go buy compiler.
Eli Manning also not a Hall of Famer, just average
stiff quarterback Eli Manning. And there are people advocating for
him to get in the Hall of Fame. He shouldn't
be in the Hall of Fame either, But Philip Rivers
is in the same boat with him. I'm Anning, and
so it's a bit of a problem. And it's like
the compiler stuff, It's like, all right, well, that's like

(19:08):
costco stuff, your volume discount stats. And so in terms
of delaying the Hall of Fame, it's really no decision
at all to make. It's it's you don't have to
think about it because it's it's a no deal. It's
a nothing burger. In fact that he likely will not
make the Hall of Fame, and if the Colts were
to win the Super Bowl and he would play well,

(19:29):
that would change his arc to get into the Hall
of Fame.

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(21:18):
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(22:03):
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At DraftKings, the crown is yours. So I lead this hour.
From the Winter meetings in Orlando, they have gone Mickey Mouse.

(22:23):
That's normally where during pandemics they hand out Mickey Mouse
championship rings. In Orlando, Baseball GM's getting there so their
families can all go to Disney World on the company
dime and they can pretend to be working. Now, there
was some news out of the winter meetings of the Mets.
Closer Edwin Diaz, a free agent, has decided to say

(22:44):
bye bye to the New York Mats. He has found
a new home. The news coming out. If you have
not heard yet, this is rocking the baseball universe. People upset.
They're annoyed because Edwin Diaz is taking his talents to
the Dodgers d oh d g e rs. The Dodger

(23:08):
is a three year deal for sixty nine million. Insert
your own dirty joke. Right there, La gets the top
closer on the market and takes away a valuable piece
of the New York Mets bullpen. But don't worry, Mets fans.
You have Devin Williams who will poop his pants by May.
So enjoy that ds A three time All Star, eight

(23:31):
time All Star. I had an ERA of under two.
I'm told that's good and converted twenty eight of thirty
one saves. I'm told that's also good for the Mets
this past season. He's got the nasty combo dish, a
lot of speed. There's a need for speed, high velocity
and a vicious slider. Just like when I pitch now,

(23:53):
I have the lollipop pitch, which it gets people out.
It doesn't matter how you get them out, it's just
getting hitters out. And that's the case. Diaz thirty one
has posted throughout his career big strikeout numbers, and that's
why the nerds get all horny when they talk about
Edwin Diaz, and that's why he's getting paid. So that's
a good jumping off point. Let us discuss the question

(24:16):
does this Edwin Diaz signing with the Dodgers, does it
budge the needle does it budge the needle. So I've
got stock market mustache and three course meal, and we
will combine all of these things together and we are
going to play Connect three is what we're going to do.
So number this stop. This does not just budge the needle. Okay,

(24:48):
it does not just budge the needle. This thing is
spinning round and round and round and round and like
a damn wheel of misfortune, which is what often these
signings out to be. Okay, listen, the Dodgers yet again,
they didn't do this when I was doing postgame Dodger
talk back in the day they signed stiffs. Now I'm

(25:10):
not doing that on that years and the Dodgers going
out there, They're going to Beverly Hills where Dale Drive,
and you know, signing every year. They signed one of
the top players in baseball every fricking year. Okay, it's insane.
They came home with a cologne drenched closer of their dreams.
At least in theory, that's the key part. In theory,

(25:32):
Diaz is just what the doctor ordered. Well, are you
talking about the Dodgers wore in the World Series. They
don't need Edwin is okay? Yeah, Okay, yeah, they won
the World Series. They had a bullpen this past year
that was stuff with underachievers, has bins and never wors.
That was the Dodger bullpen. You know, stiffs like Kirby

(25:55):
Yates who had a good career but was washed up,
and a bullpen that if you look at it from
just any reasonable analysis, the bullpen that forced the analytical
nerds that run the Dodgers, not Dave Roberts, the analytical nerds.
Every game was like Benny versus the Penny, where they
were flipping a coin up in the air trying to

(26:16):
improvise what they were going to do in the month
of October, and they put out a bunch of starters
and they would duct tape their bullpen together and it
worked anwin. Diaz is the Kremdada Krem is what he is,
and so he comes in there and you cue up
the hype and that means, I guess, Timmy Trumpet, we

(26:36):
got it? Where is he part of thee? Do we
have Timmy Trumpet.

Speaker 4 (26:39):
Not coming near?

Speaker 1 (26:40):
It is like this Tetter rule the organist at Dodger Stadium.
It's called Narco. I'm gonna add that to my music
on my phone. Now because he's a Dodger, So I
play that unless he sucks and I'll delete it. But
there it is. There Edwin Diaz, who that famous where

(27:01):
that Timmy Trumpet song Narca. I don't know who that
guy was before this and that went viral and became
a top song and all that. So that's part of
the deal coming to Dodger Stadium. However, the issue I
have being the voice of reason unless I'm not. But
the Diaz has kryptonite, and the kryptonite is as a reliever.

(27:24):
The every reliever comes with the fine print. There's a
warning label on every relief picture. It's relief pictures go up,
they go down, they go sideways. It's like the stock market.
It's like you can invest in a fortune five hundred
blue chip stock, which is there's no guaranteeing anyway reasonably.

(27:45):
You know you're not gonna lose a lot of money,
might make a little bit of money, might lose a
little bit. You're not gonna lose that much. And then
there's the highly volatile stock, which is often medical companies
or power companies, things like that. If you play a
stock market, and that's what every relief picture is. Even
the good ones are a highly volatile stock. And that's
the problem, right, The Dodgers have already lived this life.

(28:07):
They have lived this life, this sitcom. That was Tanner
Scott who signed a seventy two million dollar contract last offseason.
He was a top reliever on the market last offseason,
seventy two million bucks. And he became the infomercial pitchman
for the product that you only see late at night,
the barf o Mattic. And he was out there and

(28:29):
he was selling the bar fore Maatic. Tanner Scott. He
set the Dodger record for most blown saves in the
season after signing a seventy two million dollars contract. He
was so bad. How bad was he? He was so
bad that the Dodgers didn't even pitch him in the playoffs. Playoffs, Yeah,
didn't even now My problem with this. When I was
a young lad, I was coming up in radio. I

(28:50):
was working in San Diego at the mighty sixth ninety
which is now like a Mexican format State whatever. It
was a border blaster station, and the padres at the
time had a GM named Kevin. Now he's long gone,
Rest in peace, Kevin Towers. But Kevin Towers was the
maestro of building a bullpen. And I've always gone by
the gospel of Kevin Towers his mantra way before the

(29:13):
nerdation of baseball. And everyone's been brought in here and
indoctrinated in the nerd ball. But Kevin Towers, back in
the day with the padres, he knew that relievers were volatile,
as we've talked about a volatile stock, and that they
were terrible investments that and the pidders didn't spend a
lot of money in those days. They still spend it. I

(29:34):
guess they spent a lot now, but back then they didn't.
So relief pitcher's bad investment. And really there's a lot
of year to year, there's Lady luck involved in it,
there's workload, there's mechanical quirks, and relief pitchers often like
offensive linemen in football, the equivalent would be the comp

(29:55):
would be offensive lineman. That you can take offensive linemen
and take them on a team that's terrible, and then
they they go to a team that has a quarterback
that doesn't hold the ball that long. Suddenly they're thought
of as great offensive linemen. Because the nerds don't know
how to great offensive lineman. So they think it's all
on the fat guys because the nerds are skinny and
like to blame fat people. They fat shame. So it's

(30:16):
it's usually the quarterback that holds the ball too long
that leads to pressures and things like that. But in baseballwayson,
we're talking about baseball here with Edwin Diaz and all that.
It's uh, it's it's year to year. It's a it's
a little little issue with your fingernail that causes a
problem and your confidence is bone. So the Daz deal,
this is a luxury purchase, you know, it's it is.

(30:40):
I mean, that's where it is pure and simple. That
went out. And why would z want to come to
the Dodgers when the Dodgers they don't necessarily don't necessarily
you look at the picture. They need bullpen help, but
they don't necessarily have to when they can get other people.
And Edwin Diaz they can save some money. But he
wanted to go there because they have all the creature comforts.

(31:00):
They spoil their players more than anyone. They're the only
team in the industrial complex of North American sport that
has two planes. They have one plane just for the players.
They're so spoiled. There's such spoiled babies. They need one
plane and everyone else, all the supports staff, they have
to go on a different plane because they're the unwashed,
they're the Hoy poloy. They go on a different plane.
That's how much the Dodgers spoil these guys. Okay, they're

(31:23):
like royalty with the Dodgers, and so you want to
go there, and they pay great money and all that. So,
but the Dodgers are rolling the dice on this, make
no mistake, and they're hoping that the trumpet, timmy trumpet
doesn't turn into Timmy kazoo. We don't want to We're
on a trumpet. What if it's a kazoo? I don't
know all right now, Page two. So the Dodgers move

(31:43):
to add Edwin Diaz has led to an angry response
and uprising, a social media uprising. The mob is not happy,
not Andrew and Bakersfield. I'm talking about the mob, and
there's it's not fair booooooo. A bed for baseball. My
favorite is I'm not watching baseball. I love that. I

(32:04):
absolutely love it. I am not watching baseball because the
Dodgers signed a relief pitcher. Okay, so question to the
angry uprising, what do you say to the alleged baseball
fans in air quotes threatening to boycott the twenty twenty
six baseball season because the Dodgers have added Edwin Diaz

(32:29):
and they're upset by that. So first of all, stop
the madness, right, stop the mad And this is another
reminder that social media is the funhouse of mirrors in society.
It just is. Everything is distorted in social media, everything
is overcooked. Everything is a primal scream and a world

(32:50):
that needs a whisper. It just is. And baseball is
a weak link sport we shed to talk about all
the time when we had the guy Roberta on the
show is now us Driver But Roberto we used to
discuss this. The problem with baseball is you can have
the super team and it likely doesn't matter. And the
Dodgers this year winning the World Series a great example.

(33:11):
In Game seven of the World Series, the Toronto Blue
Jays were on the brink of winning the championship, bringing
it back to Canada and a absolute stiff, a guy
that sucks named Miguel Rojas, hit one of the biggest
home runs in Dodger history to tie the game up,
and then will Smith ended up winning the game later on,
But Miguel Ross. The Dodgers have Otani and Mookie Betts

(33:35):
and Freddie Freeman and all these studs, and it was
Miguel Rojas, who by any measurement, sucks and hit the
biggest home run the Dodgers had before Will Smith hit
the game winning home That's the point. It's the players
on the fringes that often decide. People get so worked
up about the big stars and everything. It's not the

(33:55):
billboard stars that often decide these things. And let's be
real here. The Dodgers have become the dastardly whiplash of
professional sports. They are the full mustache twirling villains of
Major League Baseball. And they're just laughing evilly like a
cartoon villain wood. They're playing with a knife. I don't

(34:16):
know why they're doing that. They're kicking your dog and
they've gone to the dark side. And I'm fine with it.
For listen, they keep winning. You know, I'm not around
there anymore. That's fine. But with Dave Roberts, they've embraced
and Dave Roberts is just the figurehead it's the nerds,
but they've embraced the bad guy cape wearing you know,
just I'm just doing business and business is booming. Business

(34:39):
is booming, and that's the thing I'm not gonna watch.
The ratings were through the roof. You had a Canadian
team versus the Dodgers, an American team, a West Coast team,
and they set a record for ratings in the World Series.
And the reason they sent the record for ratings is
because the Dodgers have proven. It's been proven not wait
before the dog. The villain is where it's at click

(35:01):
any click. You can't help yourself. You need villains. And
the twenty twenty six Dodgers, just like twenty twenty five
and years before that, the Dodgers again will lead baseball
in buzz because even the haters, when they're drinking the
hater raid, will tune in for the shot in Freuda,
hoping the Dodgers lose, and then if the Dodgers win,

(35:23):
they'll be loo's not fair, all the top players not fair,
which is the ultimate look. If you're one of those people,
you're such a bad fan. It's so embarrassing. It's like, well,
every underdog story, this can blow you. Every underdog story
needs a bad guy, a villain, a can't beat them

(35:44):
story that makes the underdog dummies, all right?

Speaker 6 (35:47):
Mean?

Speaker 1 (35:48):
What final point to the Winter Meetings? At large? At large?
At the Winter Meetings, so Scott Boris held court in
Orlando at the resort there and he waxed local facius
to a bunch of baseball scribes running up their expense accounts.
He waxed loquacious Scott Boris about his clients in the
classic cornball style that only Scott Borrows can do. Among those,

(36:12):
he talked about the center fielder Cody Bellinger. He said,
I haven't met a team that dodges a five tool player.
See what he did is and he mentioned the Angels.
He mentioned like four or five teams. He mentioned the
Giants and the Reds, which is a dead giveaway that
those teams are the teams that want Cody Bellinger. He
talked about Tiger's pitcher Tarik Schoob. He said, quote, he's

(36:37):
truly a saber proof Tiger. See what I did? Why
he did it? I didn't do it. If you want
to look at the tail of the Tiger without Scoobs,
there's a mystery machine he talked about Philly's starting pitcher,
free agent Ranger Suarez. He said, in the postseason, when
you add a Soarez, you're armed ngerous. All right, question,

(37:07):
how did Scott Boris his latest rant from the Winter
Meetings due on the judges scorecard? All right, We'll go
to the judges scorecard in a minute. It is a
reminder before we get to the judges scorecard. The Scott
Boris rant is a reminder there are three seasons, not
four seasons. There are three seasons on the baseball counter.

(37:28):
There's the regular season, there's the off season, and then
there's Scott Boris season. I'm not even forget about the
postseason because most teams don't make the postseason. So you've
got the regular season, the offseason, and Scott Borris season.
That is where Scott Boris emerges from a cave in
Newport Beach and he comes out of his layer and
he unleashes a corn maze of conversation that is so

(37:53):
thick when Scott is talking here that you need a
machete and a Dakota ring to get now his latest rant,
it was like something Iowa Sam used to do when
he was on the show for two minutes before he
quit the show. That would be puns of fun. Puns
of fun would be what that is and a linguistic
amusement park. And Boris and his team of gifted, well

(38:17):
paid advisors from their Newport Coast compound, they handcraft this
bull crap they do. I enjoy it. I think it's
so dumb. I enjoy it. I do. It's like artists
in work, is what it is. Scott Boris going on
these rants and stuff, and each line is carved out
of pure hocum, pure hocum. And just let the man cook.

(38:40):
Let Scott Morris cook. At the winter meetings and the
general manager meetings, we look forward to it every year.
Scott Borris served a three course meal of malarkey. It
was moy.

Speaker 7 (38:50):
Now.

Speaker 1 (38:50):
The first course was the appetizer. That was a salad
that was a word salad tossed in cornball dressing. Yum
yum to my tom dumb. Now. Course number two was
a course of grammar gumbo with a mystery meat metaphor side.
That's the second course. That's the main course.

Speaker 8 (39:10):
Now.

Speaker 1 (39:10):
The dessert was candy coded nonsense. And so you got
that that candy coded nonsense is so sweet it will
literally rot your brain, that's how sweet it is. And
so the only thing missing was the wardrobe.

Speaker 7 (39:26):
That was it.

Speaker 1 (39:27):
And Boris should have walked in wearing the Riddler's green suit.
That would have been perp. We said this at the
GM meetings too. Just come in there with the Riddler's
green suit, question marks in the air everywhere. Just do it,
Just do it. You get that custom leather green mask,
the whole shebang, all of it. And he's the mastermind

(39:48):
of free agency. He is. It's a little subtle nod
to the Zodiac Killer. It's cryptic rambling, much like the Zodiac.
Put the doss together. Uh, he did drop that saber
proof tiger line. That was chef's kiss is what that was?
That's that's the Ohio State Marching Band dotting the I

(40:12):
is what that was there. Malard scorecard in terms of punnery,
ten out of ten for the puntery, ten out of
ten for the punntery, zero out of ten on clarity,
and I'd say one hundred for utter nonsense. And that's
how the scorecard reads.

Speaker 2 (40:30):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maler
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven PM Pacific here Wake.

Speaker 4 (40:37):
God, this is one big vent gets grilled Rublu.

Speaker 6 (40:43):
During yesterday's monologue, you talked about the Baltimore Ravens and
how Lamar Jackson's decline is more than just a drop off.
Given that Jackson is a two time MVP and soil
only twenty eight, Baltimore will probably stick with him for
a little while. However, do you think John Harbaugh could
be on the hot seed?

Speaker 1 (40:58):
What could he be on the hot seat?

Speaker 8 (40:59):
Is?

Speaker 1 (40:59):
I don't belief he is on the hot seat. And
there are some Mike Tomlin like vibes. Though when you
look at the Ravens, they won the Super Bowl back
in twenty twelve, it's twenty twenty five. It's been a minute.
I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go with stability in Baltimore.
So he's not. But if you do judge him by
the body of his work, they're a good regular season team.

(41:20):
They haven't really made any real run in the playoffs
in a number of years.

Speaker 6 (41:23):
Next after the Saints win over the Bucks on Sunday,
Saints linebacker to Mario Davis said that quarterback Tyler Shuck
has shown that.

Speaker 1 (41:29):
He has the it factor. Has he done that bad. No,
absolutely not what he talkd me, Come on, what are
we doing here? He just has an occasional good performance.
It's I'm not no, I don't see that. And let's
Tampa Bay didn't play that well. You know, if the

(41:51):
other team doesn't play well, he's flying next.

Speaker 6 (41:53):
A report surfaced on Monday that the Steelers could pursue
Kyler Murray to be their quarterback in twenty twenty six.

Speaker 1 (41:58):
Yeah, could you see that happening? Here's the problem, Coup.
It's kind of like the coaching. There's not enough coaches
available that are good for the amount of teams that
want to change coaches, there's not enough quarterbacks. So it's
musical chairs. You're gonna move Hyler Murray is gonna get
a chance to start. The one problem, We've got two problems.
The one problem he has that's bigger than anything is
the fact he's little. The other problem is he's not

(42:19):
interested in playing football. He'd rather be a video gamer.
So why bother? How do we do? Come off? You pass?
That's a way I want a goat? Oh my god, bothering, James.

Speaker 7 (42:28):
I run James hollering games.

Speaker 2 (42:32):
Fox Sports Radio has the best sports talk lineup in
the nation. Catch all of our shows at Foxsports Radio
dot com and within the iHeartRadio app search FSR to
listen live.

Speaker 8 (42:45):
It's of a buzz with little rain at ten nine,
clean enough hearts going to help you.

Speaker 1 (42:51):
Gear Rye, gear rye to nine, gear right to nine.

Speaker 8 (42:56):
Dear ry you.

Speaker 9 (42:58):
Heard the man it is I'm for love here on
the Ben Malice Show.

Speaker 1 (43:04):
That it is. These are actual questions by actual listeners, Lorena,
and we'll start with Esteban, who writes and he says,
I was telling my wife if I was going to
trade her in like a car two miles. I thought
it was funny, it was a joke, but now she
won't talk to me.

Speaker 9 (43:21):
Yeah, you know, you should probably get her an oil
change and uh maybe a tire rotation.

Speaker 1 (43:28):
She might want to trade you in.

Speaker 10 (43:31):
A nice new coat of paints, maybe on her toes.
Might do the trick.

Speaker 1 (43:36):
Uh huh, you know, like a manny and a petty type.

Speaker 5 (43:38):
YEA.

Speaker 10 (43:39):
Treat her like a new car, get her shined up
all right.

Speaker 1 (43:42):
So maybe look at you, Rob, Look at you Rob.
The goat man writes, and he says, with Christmas right
around the corner, what is the perfect gift for a
girlfriend or wife. Well, this is very difficult. There's no
one answer, right, Loraine. You can't really do one thing.

Speaker 9 (43:57):
Every girl has their own things, like maybe the last
guy's wife doesn't want to look at him. But I
think personal time, Like a lot of people are busy
these days, so actually planning something, taking that time to
make it feel special, like taking her out to Christmas lights.
Oh my gosh, a Christmas night light thing with the
hot coffee or hot chocolate.

Speaker 1 (44:18):
But there's the light in here. That's the leg with
the you see the light over here. Yeah.

Speaker 10 (44:25):
Yeah, you can make your own Christmas story at home. Yeah,
set up a camera. That sounds fun.

Speaker 1 (44:30):
Sure, there's a leg lamp in here. Yeah. Ferg Dog
writes and he says, if I can't get a girlfriend
in time for the family Christmas parties, it's okay to
hire a hooker to be my date. Yeah.

Speaker 10 (44:42):
Escorts are great choices to take with two family.

Speaker 1 (44:46):
One of my favorite stories when I used to go
to the holiday party these the company used to have
these big holiday parties. Used to Yeah, I don't go anymore.
They give appetizer. But I used to have these gallop
parties like the Beverly Hills Hotel and one year, in
the early days of Fox Sports Radio, one of the
guys brought a escort to the holiday party and it
was the funniest thing because all the wives were so

(45:07):
upset because they knew she was dressed like an escort,
and it was the funniest thing. I have fun memories
of that holiday party. She was she was showing what
her her special skills, her I don't know how to
describe it here assets.

Speaker 10 (45:24):
Did the slits go up a little?

Speaker 1 (45:26):
Yeah, And the other women were so it was snickering.
It was so good. It was so good. Well, good
luck for a dog on that Yeah, yeah, money, well spent.
Let's take a call. Blind Scott is calling in from
the North end of Boston. Blind Scott taking He's taking
it easy now of the holiday season and all that stuff.
But for you, lorraina Blind Scott ending the hiatus to

(45:48):
call in for you.

Speaker 7 (45:50):
I just want to send condolences to Rick Razak, he's
a program director at the Sports Arby Lot's father. Condolences.
But hey, dude, so I have a partner who's twenty.
They live in Omaha, and I'm thinking about moving them here.
They said they'll be legal age of twenty one in July.
They live in a foster home right now. I met
them in a K Pop demon hunter's chat. I'm forty three.
I just celebrated the birthday last Friday. So my partner

(46:12):
who's twenty could move in and I could make them
my Medicare assistant and they can get paid through medicare
well where I do not want a partner to live
with me, and I am very difficult person structurally. I
think a twenty year old who's grown up in foster
care might be a good type of partner for me,
as I am more responsible than them and we can
help each other in life.

Speaker 10 (46:32):
You know what this is.

Speaker 9 (46:33):
It's giving, Predator, it's giving. You're on a kid's movie
site trying to catch some young ends who don't know
no better. I think if you need help in and
around the house, you should specify that differently than your
partnership in a relationship.

Speaker 1 (46:51):
Well, in fairness to blind Scott, he is he's a
legendary grifter. You'd admit that, Blind Scott, this would be
the ultimate grift if you could pull that off.

Speaker 7 (47:00):
So I don't want to date this person necess her.
They're in a hostile state where they have nowhere to live?
You know what I mean?

Speaker 9 (47:06):
But predatory you're taking someone is in a bad situation.

Speaker 7 (47:10):
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah. So you can't make promises to
someone like this because they're very queeny.

Speaker 1 (47:19):
Okay, all right, all right, all right, so your vice, Lorena,
I don't think you don't do that. Scott keg drinking,
Steve Hello, Keig drinking Steve.

Speaker 8 (47:28):
Hey, guys, Lorena, how are we gonna resolve this? How
is Taylor Swift gonna convince Selena Gomez to be her bridesmaid?
I guess they're losers now, so they don't.

Speaker 10 (47:42):
That's the problem. I think they have to figure out
how to make her the third in their marriage. You know,
they're so close together.

Speaker 1 (47:49):
That's a penalty. Third man in the third woman in.
I don't know. Shane and de Moin writes and says,
are you jealous of the ask a weed Man segment?
Be honest, queen, am I are you jealous of this?

Speaker 10 (47:59):
Oh? No, gosh, the weed Man is so great? I
would love to have.

Speaker 1 (48:03):
Our Michael Lebrigo says in bed, is it better to
be naughty with lingerie or nice and comfy pjsh.

Speaker 10 (48:08):
I like naughty lingerie.

Speaker 1 (48:10):
Oh look at that. Take that. That's a lingerie for
the wind right there there it is. Boom boom, boom
boom spicy.

Speaker 2 (48:16):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific. Attention everyone,
and the password is password, you idiot, password the word
Game of the Stars.

Speaker 1 (48:31):
Here's Ben Meller. Let's do it. Welcome into our contestants
for password the word Game of the stars. We have
let's see your any media. We have far Out Dave.
Who's going to play? Hello far out Dave?

Speaker 7 (48:46):
Hey, good morning?

Speaker 2 (48:46):
How are you?

Speaker 1 (48:47):
If I was any better? I would be a Swift?
But not Taylor Swift? So why not? Because sure boyfriend's
not playing very well?

Speaker 8 (48:58):
What's the over under on the listeners?

Speaker 7 (49:00):
Are they beating traffic or beating something else?

Speaker 1 (49:05):
Who dogged a partner up with Dave?

Speaker 2 (49:07):
How about you?

Speaker 1 (49:08):
Oh boy?

Speaker 8 (49:10):
All right?

Speaker 1 (49:11):
All right, Loraina picked one or three? Lorraina umb it?
Well you have picked blind Scott. Hello, blind Scott.

Speaker 7 (49:22):
Yeah, the rating book Radio end Friday. I'm gonna pick Lorraina.
Let's make America nut again?

Speaker 2 (49:30):
Wow?

Speaker 1 (49:31):
Okay, all right, well you just screwed up the whole thing. Okay,
let's play the game here and Dave pick a number
one to ten, please, number one to ten. All right,
let's go with let's see here eenie meenie miney moe.

Speaker 10 (49:50):
Wait, which one did he choose?

Speaker 1 (49:51):
Ten? Yes, he picked number ten. I'm going first, don't worry.
Let's go with uh kind hearted? What? Kind hearted? Kind hearted? What? No?

Speaker 2 (50:09):
Horrible?

Speaker 1 (50:09):
It's one word. You can look it up, Scott.

Speaker 7 (50:14):
You ready, yep?

Speaker 1 (50:16):
Charitable fundrais no? How about giving giving, Dave?

Speaker 7 (50:28):
Donation? Donation?

Speaker 10 (50:30):
No, all right, let's go this way.

Speaker 1 (50:34):
Santa, that's what. That's not gonna that's a terrible clue.
You've just given a terrible put everything together?

Speaker 10 (50:40):
What is Santa?

Speaker 1 (50:42):
These people can't put they can't put two words together.
They're not going to get all right. Yeah, the word
was generous. Pick a pick a number, Scott, So what
time is it?

Speaker 7 (50:53):
Number six?

Speaker 1 (50:54):
Number six? Go ahead, lorna number six? Oh gosh, is
that your clue? God?

Speaker 10 (51:00):
No, no, no, guard?

Speaker 7 (51:05):
What is it?

Speaker 10 (51:06):
Guard?

Speaker 1 (51:08):
Dude?

Speaker 7 (51:08):
Bioh. Dave is a piece of crap. He takes shot all.

Speaker 1 (51:13):
Borrow, Dave. Let's go with uh protect Oh That's.

Speaker 8 (51:17):
What I was gonna say.

Speaker 1 (51:19):
God protect, Oh my God, Why do we even do this.
The word is defend. The word is defend. We're all dumber.
Everyone's dumber for this. The word was defend, it was defend.