January 3, 2020 • 44 mins
Jonas Knox breaks down the latest news on Jason Garrett, Ron Rivera's decision to take over the Redskins, #AskAssClown, and more!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Thanks for listening to the best of the Ben Mallers
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(00:23):
This is the best of the Ben Maller Show on
Fox Sports Radio. It's me again, Maller Militia. You are excited,
you are thrilled listen, and now you can the law
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Militia every time somebody fills in for Big Ben. But
(00:44):
let's speak facts here on Fox Sports Radio. I have
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(01:05):
Jonas Knox in for Big Ben. Here on FSR. You
can check out the show on the iHeartRadio app. You
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Wherever you are taking part in the program, we always
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you live here from the Geico Fox Sports Radio studios,
(01:26):
where fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more
on car insurance. Visit Geico dot com for a free
rate quote. So let's go ahead and talk about a
narrative that is being pushed out there that is a
complete load of crap in the NFL. So there was
a report that came out on Thursday evening, a report
(01:52):
from ed Warder, who has covered the Dallas Cowboys for
a long long time, and ed had a report basically
sort of pointing to what everybody expects, that the Cowboys
have decided, according to a source, that they are going
to be moving on from Jason Garrett. So the Cowboys
have decided. Edward Er comes out with this report, and
(02:13):
so you look at it and you go, Okay, finally
the decision was made. But here's the problem. Nothing was confirmed.
Dallas hasn't stated it publicly, Jason Garrett hasn't stated it publicly,
it's literally one report from Edward or it doesn't mean
it's not true. It's one report. You've got other Cowboys
media members who are saying, hold on a second, there's
(02:35):
nothing official here. There's nothing official, So everybody's running with
this thing thinking, okay, that's a rap. I mean, it
is literally one report from Edward and a source. We
all assume it's going to happen, but we don't have
anything official. So there's nothing confirmed. But one of the theories.
As we sit here and wait day after day after
(02:57):
day for them to make a decision on what they're
going to do with Jason Garrett, there's been these theories
that have been thrown out there as to why they're
waiting around. Some people have gone really really deep dive
and said, well, they've already got somebody else lined up
and they're just trying to move some things around because
they're also going to have Jason Garrett take a front
office position. Okay, that's fine. I mean, I guess I
(03:19):
could see it. Keep him within the family. You have
your eye on somebody out there. Maybe you're just you know,
finalizing deals or whatever the case may be. But you
go right ahead if that's the way Dallas wants to
approach this. I don't know how this affects the Rooney rule.
Last I check. You've got to go through the proper
dotting of the eyes and crossing of the teas in
(03:40):
order to make your hire and not have the league
come down on you for violating the Rooney rule. But
if people out there actually believe Dallas has got somebody
in mind and they're just trying to find a spot
for Jason Garrett within the organization, that's fine. Here's the
other one that's being thrown out there. The other one
out there is that they're delaying the ouncement of this
(04:00):
decision out of respect for Jason Garrett and his long
history within the organization, not only as a coach, but
also when he was a player there in Dallas. What
a bunch of crap, Like, what a load of garbage?
Are you out of your mind? Can we actually let's
actually be realistic about this here for a second. Okay,
(04:23):
let's be honest about this for a second. You think
that a sign of respect is letting somebody wait around
and dangling their future over their heads for several days,
that's the sign of respect. Anybody ever been done before
I have. Let me tell you what's disrespectful when you're
(04:47):
waiting for an answer and you can't really get a
clear one and say you wait day after day and
put everything else on hold to finally get to the
point to where a listen, what's happening here? Is this
over or not? You'd rather just know if my fate
is already sealed, and if I'm done, and if I
know that we're not, you know everything's over, Like, can
(05:09):
you just like speed up the process so I can
at least open up a bumble account for Christ's sakes,
like so I can move on with this. This idea
that this is all out of respect for Jason Garrett,
that is total garbage. That's crap. If anything, I can argue,
it's disrespectful what Dallas is doing to Jason Garrett if
(05:29):
you already know what his future is and you're dangling
it out in the wind like some guy taking a
leak on the side of a freeway, Like what do
you expect Jason Garrett to do? Are you supposed to
wait around? Meanwhile, this job's getting filled. That job's getting filled.
Coaches are making hirings to their staff and Meanwhile, Jason
(05:50):
Garrett's just sitting there going okay, So am I gone
or not? Like, if this delay is all about respect,
the respectful thing to do would have been to have
gotten over with already, like pull the plug, do it
right after the game. Hey, listen, great win, we finished
(06:10):
five hundred. Jason, It's time to go cool, see you.
I don't want to be waiting around nobody wants. Like,
what's the old adage, the only thing worse than an
ass whoopon is waiting for it to happen. Get it
over with. Sometimes you just need to cut the chord.
Move on enough with this respect crab. And if that's
(06:31):
really what Dallas thinks they're doing, they're insane. I don't
know who thinks this is a respectful thing to let
somebody hang around while everybody starts to do deductive reasoning
on why the why. The answer is this and Jason
Garrett's future is stop. If he's done, and you know
he's done, move the f on. That's some respected but
(06:55):
he's had a lot of time in the organization. We
want to show him. Listen, we were very sent initive
to Jason's issue. Really, you're so sensitive to Jason's issue
that you had to do multiple interviews a week for
the last ten years on the fan in Dallas and
talk openly about how you're not going to give that
guy a contract before the season, but you care about him.
(07:16):
This is all about respect. Oh okay, Like this is
like this, listen, We've spent a lot of time together,
so we want to treat him the right way on
the way out. You know, like how many married couples
have said that too, till death do us part. Fast
forward six months later and you walk in and he's
having an affair with the dog. I mean, come on, man, like,
(07:38):
can we can we stop the bs? This isn't respect
the longer this goes, it's it's more about disrespect at
this point. And I said it earlier this week. Open
your eyes. This is being done this way because this
is the cowboy way. It's Jerry Jones. This is what
(07:59):
the cow boys do. How can we hijack the headlines?
We were supposed to be in the playoffs. You're not
because you're mediocre, So how can we do it? The
playoffs are a few days away. Tom Brady maybe making
his final start as a New England Patriot or his
final start as an NFL quarterback, and we're still talking
about what the hell's happening with Jason Garrett. This is
(08:21):
the cowboy way. How can we be the story without
being the story? And they've figured it out again. It's masterful.
It's a work of art by Jerry Jones. But come on, man, Like,
we've got one report saying Okay, he's gone, Edward are
saying they've made the decision, they're moving on, and then
you got other reporters saying, hold on, there's been no
(08:43):
official announcement made. Nobody from the Cowboys has come out
officially and made the announcement. And the thought is, well,
you know, listen, they're trying to be sensitive because it's
a really, really difficult thing for the Dallas Cowboys. No,
it's not. Stop difficult is having to wait around to
find out whether or not you're going to be a
(09:04):
head coach or whether or not you've got a job
in the morning. I put yourself into the into the
shoes of Jason Garrett. If you worked at a company
for ten years and they told you one day, hey, listen,
we're gonna need a few days, a couple of days
just to think about whether or not you've got a
job here moving forward? Oh okay, how easy are those
(09:27):
days as they pass by? Not knowing whether or not
you're an employee anymore, not knowing whether or not you're
gonna show up and your key card's gonna work anymore.
But don't worry about it. It's out of respect. You
know that they want to be delicate to your situation.
Kiss my ass. You know I'm gone cut the cord,
Let me go, let me go find something else. I
don't need to be waiting around for this. Respect. What
(09:50):
a bunch of crap, and people are running with this.
This is about his loyalty to Jason Garrett. His loyalty
to Jason Garrett. If he had loyalty to Jason Garrett
and it was such a personal relationship that he didn't
want to damage, why is he dangling in the wind
all these days later. It doesn't make any sense. It's
just the out of respect crap has got to stop.
(10:11):
That's a bogus narrative. It doesn't add up. It doesn't
make any sense whatsoever. Jonas Knox in for Ben Maller
here on Fox Sports Radio. You can listen to the
show on the iHeartRadio app. You can get me on
Twitter at the Jonas Knox at the Jonas Knox on Twitter.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome in the respected, the hard working,
(10:32):
the hustling, and one of the best in the business.
Edmund Effing Garcia, your national update anchor here at Fox
Sports Radio. Well, you're putting it on thick right there,
but I appreciate it. I appreciate It's a new Years,
a new me eddie for those who are old enough
to remember, and I am. When Jerry Jones took over
(10:53):
ownership of the Dallas Cowboys, he booted Tom Landry out
the door with no care and respect at all and
was heavily criticized for the way that he handled that.
So for him now to be treating Jason Garrett like
he's the second coming of Vince Lombardi and with this,
(11:15):
with the supposed care and respect as the reason why
this is dings along is pretty hilarious. It's just like,
and I actually heard more details on that when he
actually let Tom Landry go, I actually heard that he
actually took Tom Landry's hat off and used it as
a spitterer, like he had a mouthful of Copenhagen and
actually used Tom Landry's hat as a spitterer. Now I
can't confirm, yeah, and now I can't confirm that, but
(11:36):
but that you know, that's one of the rumors that's
been out there. I just I don't know about you,
but I would want to know, like what is my
fate like so I can at least like we can
move on with this. It just none of this adds
up to me, Like why don't they just come like
at this point, I actually hope they come out and
they say we signed Jason Garrett to a three year extension,
like I mean, just something. It just it doesn't add up,
(11:58):
like teams are already making decisions. Like even the Browns
seem like they've got it together. They've got multiple interviews. Well,
it's just what they it seems like. I'm not I'm
not saying they actually do it, just they've got multiple
interviews lined up. Yeah, they're also going to hire a
head coach before they hire a GM. That's a brilliant Well,
I mean listen, you know, I mean they're trying to,
you know, re shuffle the deck here, Eddie. I mean,
(12:20):
it's it's a it's a new new Cleveland Browns. It's
a new era of Cleveland brown football. Eddie. Yeah, I
just I don't get it. It doesn't It doesn't make
any sense to me. Have you ever been through like
a tough time in a relationship, Eddie. Obviously you're married now,
but like and at some point you guys know, God,
it's not really working. You just get to the point
to man, are we done so I can just move on? Yeah?
(12:44):
But I mean no, I mean, I mean not really
in that situation as far as the relationship. But because
you're a womanizer. I mean, that's exactly that's well known.
The thing with the Cowboys that I find fascinating is
that Jerry Jones, by all account, is a brilliant businessman
on many different levels, and he's done a lot of
great things for the league, but he doesn't seem to
(13:05):
be able to do a lot of great things, at
least football wise, with the Cowboys. And I know obviously
that he won multiple Super Bowls with Jimmy Johnson, but
since then it's been pretty laughable the list of head
coaches that he's hired, from Chan Gaily to Tony Sperrano,
I mean, Wade Phillips, I mean, it's just wasn't Dave
(13:29):
Campo in there as well? Campo was. It's it's like,
how can he not understand that he needs to finally
hire a you know, a head coach who's going to
do what he needs to do and not be constantly
in fear of Jerry Jones. And you know, look, it's
one thing to share the spotlight with Jerry Jones. I
think that's just that's just a reality of being the
(13:52):
head coach of the Dallas Cowboys. But to keep hiring
guys who are not really the type of coach that
the Dallas Cowboys should have, right if you're gonna think
about the history of this franchise and where they are
in the landscape of professional sports teams. I mean, he
should go out and get the best coach available and
throw all the money that he has Adam and and
(14:14):
let that guy do his job. But he hasn't done
it since Jimmy Johnson. And there's two like two things
that I think about when it comes to Jerry Jones,
and this is this is a breakdown on Jerry Jones
and his football knowledge or whatever you want to ternam it.
When he was when Jimmy Johnson was still at the Cowboys.
There's a story that in the draft room one year
(14:35):
that Jerry Jones leaned over and asked Jimmy Johnson to
be talking to him when the camera went into the
draft room on television. So it made it seem like
Jerry was having some input in who they were drafting.
Like that's a real story and totally believe. And Jimmy
Johnson's like, what what do you mean, Like, like, what
(14:56):
is happening here? Here's the other one. In twenty sixteen,
when the first round of the draft was over, Jerry
Jones was devastated because he said, I'm gonna regret not
making that move. Normally, all my success in life has
come from taking a risk, and I think I'm gonna
look back on this and regret not taking the risk
(15:16):
and offering up more to move up in the draft
to take that player. That player he was talking about
was Paxton Lynch Okay, Jerry Jones said that on the record.
I thought, no, no, I mean I would like he
said that on the record, So it's just it's it's
somebody who I think really wants to be a football guy,
and it has a great reputation as far as like
(15:38):
a loyal guy in all this, but he's not. And
I don't know when he's going to come to terms
with it, Like they had to talk him out of
not taking going to happen. Yeah, it's just but I'll
tell you what, man, he's he's a brilliant guy when
it comes to making them the talk of the league,
Like this is being talked about more than the playoff
games coming up this weekend. And maybe that's our fault,
(15:59):
but I just saw the playoff games this weekend. Look,
I love playoff football and I'll be watching all the games.
But I don't know that there's any of these games.
You're like, Wow, I can't wait to see this game,
you know. I guess the Patriots to see if they
actually lose, would be the one. I mean, my Buffalo
Bills taken on the Houston Texans. All right. I love
Josh Allen, I love the Bills. I love what I watched.
(16:21):
For some reason, I found myself watching way too many
Bills games this year. I'm looking forward to that one. Hey, look,
the Bills could go in and win that game. Don't
be surprised. So but it's nice to have a stress
free football. The Steelers aren't in it. Stress free, you
don't have to worry about it, no stress at ye.
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
(16:44):
Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app. We are going
to have another edition of Ask ass Clown, all right,
So ask ass clown coming up Bottom of the Hour
here on Fox Sports Radio. But it's also ask a
member of the crew things as well too. So normally
you guys do ask Ben Ben Maller, not here. So
(17:06):
we started doing this, I want to say a couple
of years ago when I filled in for Ben, somebody said,
why don't we do an ask ask clown instead, since
you know they consider me an ass clown, because they're
really nice people in the Mallar militia. So we rolled
with it. We had a lot of fun with it.
So send those in. You can ask the crew anything,
Ask ask clown coming up bottom of the hour at
(17:27):
UH Broncho Fan at UH Broncho Fan on Twitter, and
we will have all that four year coming up bottom
of the Hour here on FSR. So I defended I
tried to I thought I did a pretty convincing job.
I tried to defend Dan Snyder, the owner of the
Washington Redskins, who opened up his press conference introducing a
brand new head coach, Ron Rivera, by wishing everybody on
(17:48):
January second, Happy Thanksgiving. Odd interesting, understandable. I think it's
it's an easy mistake to have. I'm not going to
kill the guy for it. I don't. I don't choose
to take that route. A lot of people have, and they,
you know, the Redskins are an easy target because of
(18:09):
their transgressions over the past several years. So it's an
easy thing to look at and jump on and wonder,
how the hell could that happen. I think it's a
simple mistake. Just a simple mistake was made, that's all.
But I do, I actually do think there's sound that's
more interesting than just Dan Snyder saying Happy Thanksgiving. So
(18:32):
I thought the decision by Ron Rivera to take the
head coaching job of the Washington Redskins was a little
bit puzzling, and I couldn't really figure it out because
he didn't interview anywhere else. It felt like there were
better jobs out there. I think the browns is probably
a better job I think the Giants is a better job.
(18:54):
If the Cowboys open up, I think that's a better job.
It didn't seem like the best job out there yet
Ron Rivera just jumped on it right away and it
didn't make any sense to me. And then Ron Rivera
spoke about why this was the job for him, and
pay close attention because what he's actually saying isn't what
(19:17):
he's saying here. I took this job for one simple reason,
one simple reason because Dan Syder came to me with
a very interesting perspective. For weeks, he's explored the reasons
why some teams win and some teams don't. He told
me the common factor and that transitional success of teams
like the Patriots, the Seahawks, and the Chiefs was the
decision to take it and make a coach senator approach.
(19:39):
Not an owner senator approach, or a team president or
a GM but a coach senator approach. Yeah, what he's
saying there is Dan Snyder was desperate and Ron Rivera
knew it. That's what he's saying, And it makes all
the sense in the world now because he didn't even
have a conversation with anybody else, even when you hear
(20:03):
some of the details about how this thing all got done.
Like he told his agent, no, no, no no, no, I
don't want to talk to anybody else. I've had multiple
sit downs, multiple dinners, multiple conversations with Dan Snyder. This
is the one I want to go with, like, no conversation,
even when his agent was kind of saying, you know,
maybe kind of peek at some of the no, no, no no, no,
(20:24):
this is the one that I want. I think Ron Rivera,
and I think it's smart, saw desperation because Dan Snyder
is tired of losing, tired of being dysfunctional, tired of
being the problem. And I think Dan Snyder was willing
to concede anything to try and get the right guy
for the job. Apparently Joe Gibbs, former Redskins coach, was
(20:44):
involved in talking to Ron Rivera and also mentioning Ron
Rivera the second he was available, that that's a guy
you want to consider. And I think Ron Rivera, in
sitting down with Dan Snyder, saw a desperate owner, saw
a guy who wants this narrative and this conversation about
(21:06):
his organization to stop and become a positive one. And
I think that's why Ron Rivera took the job because
I think he's going to have a level of power
that few coaches in the NFL have, Like they don't
have a GM yet, And so when he's saying there,
it's going to be coach centered, like it's basically going
to be Ron Rivera is calling the shots. So why
(21:28):
wouldn't he take the gig? He smelled desperation, and it
makes sense like he didn't talk to anybody else, like
ask yourself, like, what's the worst job on the market
all the jobs available. He wasn't going to go back
to Carolina obviously, So of all the jobs available, which
(21:49):
one is the worst job on the market. I mean,
if you just look roster wise, look around the league,
who's got the worst job? I mean, we know what
the Dallas Cowboy job if it's open, if that one
is even open, we know the Dallas Cowboys job is
a good job based on the talent they have in
the roster, based on the name brand, all of that
that goes along with it. The Giants have their quarterback
(22:12):
of the future and a running back of the future
that's a once in a decade type player in se
Quon Barkley. So that feels like it's like it's a
good gig, and you start to look around, you go, okay, well,
the Browns are a loaded roster. The Redskins, i would say,
are the worst job of the available ones that are
on the market. So why would Ron Rivera, who's got
(22:35):
one of the great reputations in the NFL of anybody,
why would he take that job without even talking to
anybody else. Even when his agent says, you sure, you
don't want to have a conversation with somebody else, Ron
Rivera just said, no, no, no, this is the one
for me, because he's smart enough to recognize when he's
got a little bit more power than he would somewhere else,
(22:56):
and he's got it with the Redskins. For lack of
a better term, Dan Snyder's desperate. I mean, look at
the state of the division, Like the Eagles won the
division at nine and seven, and for most of the
year we're hovering right at five hundred or below five hundred,
(23:19):
and if Jason Garrett is out in Dallas, Ron Rivera
is now the second longest tenured head coach in the division,
next to Doug Peterson, and Ron Rivera has been there
an hour and a half like he knew and recognized
what the opportunity was and for what. Maybe they can't
(23:40):
give you from a roster standpoint, He's going to get
it from a patient standpoint because Dan Snyder is desperate
to try and turn around the organization. Desperate. It's why
he finally decided to walk away from Bruce Allen. I
think he sat Ron Rivera down and said, I'm tired
of this, I'm tired of losing. I trust you, how
(24:02):
do we turn this thing around? Got a five year contract,
recognize he had a certain amount of leverage that maybe
some other places he wouldn't have. And he struck while
he could. And I don't blame him now now it
makes sense now I get it. Before I didn't understand it,
Like what was it about Washington? I mean he didn't
like there was no like nothing, not even from a
(24:23):
negotiating tactic, a negotiating standpoint. I mean urban Meyer is
not even in the league, and urban Meyer is kind
of dangling between two teams. Mike McCarthy's got his name
and a bunch of other spots. Ron Rivera that that's
the one for you. He's been given some sort of
leverage and control in the organization that he felt like
(24:44):
he wasn't going to get to elsewhere. And now it
makes sense. Now I completely get it. Before I didn't
understand it at all. Now I think it makes total sense.
Jonas Knox in for Ben Maller here on Fox Sports
Radio at The Jonas Knox on Twitter at The Jonas
Knox on Twitter. Um, ladies and gentlemen, open up your ears.
(25:06):
More importantly, open up your hearts and welcome in the
wonderfully gifted and talented Edmund. Louise Garcia here on Fox
Sports Radio. Racist. That's how is that racist? Louise? Yeah?
Isn't your middle name Louise racist? No? Not even close.
(25:27):
Oh yeah, I'm the racist. How about that? I'm the racist. Yeah.
There there's your racist right there, justin Cooper playing all
those drops. You know my middle name, Jonas? Come on,
uh is a steamboat? Willie? What is your middle name?
(25:47):
It's Dallas? Yeah, Edmund, Oh that that is a real one.
I thought that was just one Ben made up. No,
it's real, okay, so Edmund? So that what was it? Dallas? Steamboat? Willie? Um?
Judas solid Gold? Uh, corporate corporate? Jar Jar? What is
jar Jar? Because you like Star Wars and he was
(26:08):
upset because I, uh, I took I took a day
off to go to was it? I can't remember. I
think I went to the Star Wars movie or something.
Took a day off to go to the the Star Wars
movie or something, and he got mad at you for it. Yeah,
well he gets mad if you take any days off,
which is ironic because he's taken two weeks off. But
of course he's made to take two weeks off. The
rest of us just choose to do it. Well, hold
on a second. He took time off to go to
(26:29):
an effing garlic festivals? Like, what are we talking? That?
Is that? What it was you guys? For me? Yeah?
Is when you when you went to Disneyland. That was
steamboat Willie? How that's right? You? You you called out
because the new Star Wars movie was coming out. Hold
on sounds So why is steamboat Willie attached to the
(26:53):
Star Wars Disneyland thing? No, it's not the Star Wars Disneyland.
It's just the Disneyland. Okay, steamboat Willie's attached to Disneyland
or you don't know what steamboat Willie? Now? What is that?
That was the name of the original first Mickey Mouse cartoon.
Really yeah, And there's even a on the main street
there at Disneyland. There's a little theater and it plays
(27:14):
the Steamboat Willie cartoon. If you want to go in
there and watch it, it's on the Marquis. How do
you get from Steamboat Willie to Mickey Mouse? That happen? Well,
I think that's the that's Mickey Mouse a character. Yeah,
I think it's it was. It was always Mickey Mouse.
But the name of the little first cartoon was Steamboat Willie.
He was a Mickey Mouse was like on a steamboat.
(27:36):
I've never actually seen it, which is ironic. But uh,
by the way, do you think that there's ever been
a woman in the history of planet Earth that's ever
walked into the Disneyland park and not bought Mickey ears
within the first ten minutes there there? Do you think
that that exists? That because my wife didn't do that one? Good?
(27:56):
It's good. I am having even more respect for Karen
now good. I mean, I can't speak to the first
time she went as a child what happened then, But
it's just like and they it's intentionally set up right
near the end trend. So when you walk in, they're
just gonna they're gonna play to your your emotions and
everybody's gonna get Mickey Years. And it's like, what are
they like two thousand dollars for one or like you
(28:17):
can rent a p you got to get the new
gold sequined one. Okay, I didn't know. I didn't know
that was the thing. When's the last time you went
to Disneyland? Coop um. It's been like probably about three years.
By the way, California Adventure better than Disneyland, and it's
not even close. I mean, you won't know why they
got booze. That's why. Really, Hey, listen, man, if I'm gonna,
(28:43):
if I gotta hang out and and like be around
a bunch of stuff I don't watch, like at least
like let me bend the elbow a little bit, give
me a couple of IPAs, and let me walk around
and stumble and get into trouble a little bit. I don't.
I mean, like I don't watch half this stuff. I
don't even know what it means. I didn't I thought
Steamboat Willie was like a pro wrestling. Question for you Jonahs,
when you go to a theme park, and you see
those you know guys and gals in those you know outfits.
(29:06):
Does do you like get like flashbacks or do you
like empathize what you're feeling towards those so considering you
were once the rabbit Chucky, Yeah, I walked up to
the guy who was dressed his goofy. Um. There was
a guy dresses goofy and I just walked up to me.
You know, they're not allowed to talk, and I just
I got up real close to him and I said,
I just want you to know I'm better at what
(29:30):
you do than you are. And uh, he just he
looked at me. He took his head off and he
walked away. He quit right there on the spot, Eddie.
And uh, I mean, look, it's you know, it just
it goes to my resume, my confidence in my ability
to to perform in front of a group of people.
And uh, I just think I think they're Look, hey,
(29:53):
did you ever share the story with the with the
people on the air about what happened with that little
kid that that punched you in the package? Did you
ever share that what the kid, the kid who violently
attacked me. I mean, how can you the retaliation was
there was no retaliation. Okay, there was no retaliation. What
was the retalt? I couldn't breathe here? What I did do?
I walked up. My buddy was working, um, because we
(30:15):
both worked there. My buddy was working the game room,
which is basically where you know if there's a ticket
the jams or a token or whatever it was that
sounds like, yeah, it's so bad. I walk over and
I'm cursing as loud as I can, but it's it's
so loud in there, and he's like, what's going because
this kid hit me so hard in the balls, like
(30:36):
took a running start and I didn't see it. Company
hit me so hard in the balls. Smiling is the ironic. Yeah,
but people have no idea, and so you're pouring and
the design of the chuck E cheese it was like
this these big this big glass facing the window and
the sun is beating in there. So it's so hot
in the suit. It's so bad. Um. And so there
(30:57):
was another time where they had to tell me when
I was dancing because you go on the on the
big screen. Okay, so yeah, I've never actually been in
a right, so I don't know. All right, So when
you go into a Chuck E Cheese to a musical
number like like a couple times an hour, like that's
the point, Like, Okay, who's turning into U? It's so
it's it's so bad. So we go in there and
(31:21):
I get into the Chucky costume and you've got to
stand up on this stage. And so while they're doing
the birthday dance for the kids who are and let's
just be honest here for parents out there, the only
reason you take your kid to Chuck E Cheese because
you don't have to clear up the mess. That's it.
You don't have to deal with it at home. And
it's cheaper than buying a bounce house at a park.
So you take your kids to Chuck E Cheese, you
trash the place, they assault the person dressed as Chucky,
(31:44):
and you walk out of there with a buzz because
they do serve beer behind the counter. That's all it is.
That's the only thing that they're doing. And so I
was you dance on the blue screen and while you're
on stage, and it shows up on all the TVs
around the restaurant, so it's in the game room, it's
over here. I wonder you didn't kill you, well, okay,
but but here's the thing. So I because there was
(32:06):
no instructions on how you are allowed to dance, I'll
still ask you, do you still know the birthday dance?
I don't gotta don't remember. It's been so long, but
I all I know is this. When I grew up,
my favorite professional wrestler was ravishing Rick Rude because he
was so obnoxious that I just thought it was hysterical.
So I'm doing the ravishing Rick Rude stuff in the
Chucky costume. My manager. This is a true story, Hand
(32:30):
to God. My manager pulls me aside after a couple
of weeks of it and says, hey, so, um, you know,
love the energy and all that, but needs you to
calm down with the hip with the hip gyrations. He's like,
he's he's, I need you to calm down with the
hip gyrations because you know, it's just they can see
it on all the TV's around the restaurant, Like we
all think it's funny. I can. He's ill, so you're
(32:52):
not in trouble or anything. I just, you know, I
think we should calm it down. I was like, okay,
that's fine. Whatever. So fast forward. This is a true
story on my on hand to God. This is a
true story. It's a Friday night. About a month later.
He comes up to me and he goes, a, I
need you to do something for me. I was like,
what's up. He goes, there's a bachelorette party over in
(33:15):
the game room at one of the boosts. They thought
it would be funny to have their bachelorette party at
Chuck e Cheese. And I said, so, what do you
want me to do? He goes, well, I need Chucky
and I was like, okay. He goes and he kind
of gave me this look and I said, all right,
but I got your permission. He goes this one time.
I'm all hip gyrations are okay. He's all this one
(33:37):
time because there wasn't it wasn't too busy. So I
go over there and I've got like my giant red
shoe up on the table, full blown stripper like it is.
It is magic Mike dressed as our sewer rat. And
I'm I've it is like lap dances the word. They're
giving me dollar bills, they're giving me everything. So it
goes on for a few minutes. He's dying laughing behind
(33:59):
the counter I walk back in, I change out of
the costume, I come back out dressed normal. They have
no idea that it's me and I walked by and
just continue cleaning up the party. They had no idea
I got paid to lap dance at a bachelorette party
dressed as Chucky. And that's why I walked up to
Goofy and told him I'm better at what you do
than you are, pal, So take the l How about that, Eddie?
(34:23):
So it's done, Eddie garcon ye man. Yeah. People talk
about like, you know, what would you do if you
go back in time? What would you want to do?
That's I think that's what I would want to do.
I want to go back and see that moment so
bad I could not wait to get the hell out
of there. It's there on the New Year's Eve, you all, God,
my daughter, that's where you guys watched the ball drop
(34:44):
on New Year's already earlier in the morning, in the morning.
I mean it's rough, man, It's they're still serving beer
right Oh yeah behind the counter. Oh yeah, parents used
to get ripped. Oh I went by myself of my
daughter still. I walked in there and I was like, okay,
I gotta get a beer. Yeah, you have to like
it's it's it's Yeah. The food is not bad. They
had an Italian sandwich there. I remember when I was
(35:06):
there that was that was pretty good. But yeah, it's
not a fun gig around. And and by the way,
Heather Locklear came in there one time, and there's a
picture somewhere in Heather Locklear's house. Her kid was celebrating
a birthday and the chucky in that picture is me
standing next to Heather Locklear. That's a fact, that a
(35:27):
true story. Looking at the camera. I was looking at
the camera the entire speaking of jonas celebrity, uh, you
know brushes. We talked about the program on the show yesterday,
the movie the program. Oh man, your boy Craig Schiffer, right, yeah,
he's a interesting guy. By the way, did you know
that that was all filmed that William Spryce or South
(35:48):
Carolina Plays? I did not. I thought it was at
the Georgia Tech Stadium. Now is it William Spry William
Spryce or South Carolina Plays? I love that movie, man,
Oh my god, I love the program. That's so good.
Joe Man, you're not you're not a fan of Joe Kane, Eddie,
come on, okay, what's better that or any given Sunday? Oh?
Come on, you you think any given Sundays even in
(36:10):
the same realm as the program. Okay, I've never seen
the program. Kill him all look the paramedics short him out.
Come on, man, Alvin Mack, Alvin Max by the way,
the guy who played Alvin Mack, his son plays college football,
and I forget he's the linebacker. His son plays college football.
I forget for what team? Is it? Alabama? No? No,
(36:31):
it might be mar Epps. No, no, no, no. The
guy who played Alvin Mack, his son plays college football,
and it's either Clemson or Ohio State. It's it's one,
it's it's a big program. But his son actually plays
college football. The guy who played Alvin Mack in the movie.
So all right, what about Wildcats? Eddie? You fan of
wild black black linebacker? Because it was a black linebacker. Yeah.
(36:53):
I don't even know why racist needs to be run
into this? What is that? So what if he's black?
What do you try to get? What did you think
the name Alvin Mack was a white guy? I mean,
come on, kind of a bed gibblon isn't it. Be
sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller Show
weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific. It is
time for another edition of Ask Ask Clown. The questions
(37:15):
are coming in to myself and members of the crew
here on Fox Sports Radio, and we turn it over
to Justin Cooper to find out what the hell everybody
wants to talk about? Well, Jonas, as his customary during
this U segment, we usually asked Ben questions just for him,
and then a couple of him then everybody else. So
we're gonna start with a couple of questions just for you, Jonas.
(37:37):
This one is from This is from Joe, Joe and
San Antonio. Jonas, did you ever nail a mom that
you met as the rat I was in I was
in high school? Yeah, so so the answer so the
(37:59):
answer that that is, I wish no, I never know.
It wasn't Like how how is that? Like? How do
you pull that off? Like? Hey, so what do you
do for work on the rabbit? Chuck e cheese? The
other thing? It's not exactly uh, you know, a compliment.
All right, moving on, Another question for you, Jonas is
from Matthew Warrior. Raiders as fan h Jonas, Do you
regret saying on the air that you'd rather get a
(38:21):
prostate exam from Edward scissor Hands than hang out with
the Mallard militia? No, I know, I know, you know what.
The Mallar militia. They can dish it out, but sometimes
they can't take it. Man, it's called busting balls. Here.
We're having fun. You guys give it to me. I
give it right back. Come on, stop crying about it,
all right. This is for everyone. This is from Manic Mike.
(38:42):
If you were running for president, who would you pick
as your VP running mate? Oh? Geez um, Oh that's
a good one. Who would I think? Does that have
to be somebody in the world of sports or just
anybody in Jedda. I think just anybody trying to think
of what would be. But let's keep it to people
(39:04):
that you know personally. Oh, well, it's nobody that work.
How about people that work here? Yeah? All right, so
people that work here. If I was needed a VP,
man um, I would say, I'm gonna go Eddie Garcia.
(39:24):
How's that I'm gonna go Eddie Garcia. That's very nice
if you Yeah, let's see who would I pick? Um? Well,
let me ask you, you guys a question, who's the
most hated man on the network? That's a loaded question.
I know I picked that guy because then because then
(39:47):
it would increase the chances that I would not be assassinated,
because then that guy would take off. That's my answer.
That is a lot of questions, right, I gotta go
with Coop and then we'll legalize um we all across America. Man. Yeah, priorities, priorities. Yeah,
forget the budget. We want a smoke pot. Yeah. Yeah,
he doesn't work here. He doesn't work here anymore. But
(40:09):
I'd go with Tom Looney. You know, in the words
of Connor McGregor, who the bleep is that guy? Oh? Nothing?
Oh no, all right? Uh this is it says it's
just for you. But everybody can answer this. It's from
Ernie the Great old piner. Death not an option. Would
(40:31):
you pick to be stuck in the same elevator for
eight hours with Lizzo or Clay Aiken? Who the hell
is Lizzo? I don't know who that is either, you
don't out jeez, god, guys, what is Liza? Up with
pop culture? Keep up with bad music? Yes, but remember
she was at the Laker game a couple of weeks
(40:51):
ago and there was that controversy because she stood up
and she was like wearing a thong like in her seat.
Oh yeah, I mean, yeah, google it. I mean I
didn't see it, but I heard about it. There he is,
there's your there's the VP. There's Coop's VP right there. Um,
(41:12):
Lizzo or Clay Akin. I and you had to be
stuck in an elevator, yes, for eight hours with with
one of one of the other Lizzo M hmm, yeah,
I have to go with Clay Aiken. I'll leave that. Yeah,
I'll ahead and leave. I'll ask no further questions, you know,
because it just after a while, it's probably gonna get
(41:32):
a little rank in there. And you know what, that's
a fair product. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't go
into body od or anything like that. I didn't know.
It wasn't. Yeah, I didn't. I didn't. I didn't know.
This question is for a Berto. Uh, I don't know what.
They made the question really racist and it didn't have
(41:54):
to be, uh, says Justin. Says Roberto, does your cousin
Speedy Gonzalez have any advice for the Malar Militia on
what is the best cheese for chilist chili? Like, like,
why do you why do you need cheese and chili?
I don't, I don't know, that's the question. By the way,
(42:19):
I love I love Theoti cheese, that Mexican parmesan kind
of cheese. It's I love. Yeah. By the way, depending
on t that'll go right through you. That's that's you,
sane boy to find it's a good cheese. It is,
it is. But I'm just saying, like that parmesan a
(42:39):
little bit dicey. Uh, this is for everyone on the crew.
This is from Laker Rudy. I've actually never seen on
here before. But uh wants to know what is your
favorite toilet paper? Oh, Roberto's right away? Who does man?
Jesus Sharman, Dude, come on, Sharman. Ultra Charmo arm in
(43:00):
Ultra strong, not Ultra soft. The strong one they have.
They have the soft one at Costco, which which sucks perfect.
It's good. But one time they had the Ultra Strong
at Costco and I and I and I tried that one.
Didn't get on your finger much better. Roberto, No, no
need to be so delicate, believable, like the Ultra Strong
(43:24):
leaves less behind. Oh my god, I didn't even know.
I didn't know what to say. I mean, we're just
we're just swinging away here for the fences. Jesus man,
you got any more, Cooper anymore? You're not gonna answer
Jonas anything that's not anything, anything that's not one play.
(43:50):
I'll go, that's not one play, all right, what do
We'll just go? Yeah, well they we'll leave it right there.
Scarring the segment, Roberto here saying
Thanks for listening to the best of the Ben Mallers
Show podcast. Be sure to catch us live every weeknight
from two to six Eastern eleven pm to three am
Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and to find your local
station for the Ben Mallers Show at Fox Sports Radio
dot Com. You can find it there or stream us
live every night on the iHeartRadio app by searching FSR.
(00:23):
This is the best of the Ben Maller Show on
Fox Sports Radio. It's me again, Maller Militia. You are excited,
you are thrilled listen, and now you can the law
offices of Bitch and Moan open up for the Maller
Militia every time somebody fills in for Big Ben. But
(00:44):
let's speak facts here on Fox Sports Radio. I have
not filled in for Ben Maller since last year, so
it's been too long. So let's go ahead. Let's get
the best insults that you got ready at your disposal
as we take you all the way through this enjoyable
experience here for the next four hours on Fox Sports Radio.
(01:05):
Jonas Knox in for Big Ben. Here on FSR. You
can check out the show on the iHeartRadio app. You
can listen to us on Sirius XM channel eighty three
and on every single one of our Fox Sports radio affiliates.
Wherever you are taking part in the program, we always
appreciate a few minutes your time as we come to
you live here from the Geico Fox Sports Radio studios,
(01:26):
where fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more
on car insurance. Visit Geico dot com for a free
rate quote. So let's go ahead and talk about a
narrative that is being pushed out there that is a
complete load of crap in the NFL. So there was
a report that came out on Thursday evening, a report
(01:52):
from ed Warder, who has covered the Dallas Cowboys for
a long long time, and ed had a report basically
sort of pointing to what everybody expects, that the Cowboys
have decided, according to a source, that they are going
to be moving on from Jason Garrett. So the Cowboys
have decided. Edward Er comes out with this report, and
(02:13):
so you look at it and you go, Okay, finally
the decision was made. But here's the problem. Nothing was confirmed.
Dallas hasn't stated it publicly, Jason Garrett hasn't stated it publicly,
it's literally one report from Edward or it doesn't mean
it's not true. It's one report. You've got other Cowboys
media members who are saying, hold on a second, there's
(02:35):
nothing official here. There's nothing official, So everybody's running with
this thing thinking, okay, that's a rap. I mean, it
is literally one report from Edward and a source. We
all assume it's going to happen, but we don't have
anything official. So there's nothing confirmed. But one of the theories.
As we sit here and wait day after day after
(02:57):
day for them to make a decision on what they're
going to do with Jason Garrett, there's been these theories
that have been thrown out there as to why they're
waiting around. Some people have gone really really deep dive
and said, well, they've already got somebody else lined up
and they're just trying to move some things around because
they're also going to have Jason Garrett take a front
office position. Okay, that's fine. I mean, I guess I
(03:19):
could see it. Keep him within the family. You have
your eye on somebody out there. Maybe you're just you know,
finalizing deals or whatever the case may be. But you
go right ahead if that's the way Dallas wants to
approach this. I don't know how this affects the Rooney rule.
Last I check. You've got to go through the proper
dotting of the eyes and crossing of the teas in
(03:40):
order to make your hire and not have the league
come down on you for violating the Rooney rule. But
if people out there actually believe Dallas has got somebody
in mind and they're just trying to find a spot
for Jason Garrett within the organization, that's fine. Here's the
other one that's being thrown out there. The other one
out there is that they're delaying the ouncement of this
(04:00):
decision out of respect for Jason Garrett and his long
history within the organization, not only as a coach, but
also when he was a player there in Dallas. What
a bunch of crap, Like, what a load of garbage?
Are you out of your mind? Can we actually let's
actually be realistic about this here for a second. Okay,
(04:23):
let's be honest about this for a second. You think
that a sign of respect is letting somebody wait around
and dangling their future over their heads for several days,
that's the sign of respect. Anybody ever been done before
I have. Let me tell you what's disrespectful when you're
(04:47):
waiting for an answer and you can't really get a
clear one and say you wait day after day and
put everything else on hold to finally get to the
point to where a listen, what's happening here? Is this
over or not? You'd rather just know if my fate
is already sealed, and if I'm done, and if I
know that we're not, you know everything's over, Like, can
(05:09):
you just like speed up the process so I can
at least open up a bumble account for Christ's sakes,
like so I can move on with this. This idea
that this is all out of respect for Jason Garrett,
that is total garbage. That's crap. If anything, I can argue,
it's disrespectful what Dallas is doing to Jason Garrett if
(05:29):
you already know what his future is and you're dangling
it out in the wind like some guy taking a
leak on the side of a freeway, Like what do
you expect Jason Garrett to do? Are you supposed to
wait around? Meanwhile, this job's getting filled. That job's getting filled.
Coaches are making hirings to their staff and Meanwhile, Jason
(05:50):
Garrett's just sitting there going okay, So am I gone
or not? Like, if this delay is all about respect,
the respectful thing to do would have been to have
gotten over with already, like pull the plug, do it
right after the game. Hey, listen, great win, we finished
(06:10):
five hundred. Jason, It's time to go cool, see you.
I don't want to be waiting around nobody wants. Like,
what's the old adage, the only thing worse than an
ass whoopon is waiting for it to happen. Get it
over with. Sometimes you just need to cut the chord.
Move on enough with this respect crab. And if that's
(06:31):
really what Dallas thinks they're doing, they're insane. I don't
know who thinks this is a respectful thing to let
somebody hang around while everybody starts to do deductive reasoning
on why the why. The answer is this and Jason
Garrett's future is stop. If he's done, and you know
he's done, move the f on. That's some respected but
(06:55):
he's had a lot of time in the organization. We
want to show him. Listen, we were very sent initive
to Jason's issue. Really, you're so sensitive to Jason's issue
that you had to do multiple interviews a week for
the last ten years on the fan in Dallas and
talk openly about how you're not going to give that
guy a contract before the season, but you care about him.
(07:16):
This is all about respect. Oh okay, Like this is
like this, listen, We've spent a lot of time together,
so we want to treat him the right way on
the way out. You know, like how many married couples
have said that too, till death do us part. Fast
forward six months later and you walk in and he's
having an affair with the dog. I mean, come on, man, like,
(07:38):
can we can we stop the bs? This isn't respect
the longer this goes, it's it's more about disrespect at
this point. And I said it earlier this week. Open
your eyes. This is being done this way because this
is the cowboy way. It's Jerry Jones. This is what
(07:59):
the cow boys do. How can we hijack the headlines?
We were supposed to be in the playoffs. You're not
because you're mediocre, So how can we do it? The
playoffs are a few days away. Tom Brady maybe making
his final start as a New England Patriot or his
final start as an NFL quarterback, and we're still talking
about what the hell's happening with Jason Garrett. This is
(08:21):
the cowboy way. How can we be the story without
being the story? And they've figured it out again. It's masterful.
It's a work of art by Jerry Jones. But come on, man, Like,
we've got one report saying Okay, he's gone, Edward are
saying they've made the decision, they're moving on, and then
you got other reporters saying, hold on, there's been no
(08:43):
official announcement made. Nobody from the Cowboys has come out
officially and made the announcement. And the thought is, well,
you know, listen, they're trying to be sensitive because it's
a really, really difficult thing for the Dallas Cowboys. No,
it's not. Stop difficult is having to wait around to
find out whether or not you're going to be a
(09:04):
head coach or whether or not you've got a job
in the morning. I put yourself into the into the
shoes of Jason Garrett. If you worked at a company
for ten years and they told you one day, hey, listen,
we're gonna need a few days, a couple of days
just to think about whether or not you've got a
job here moving forward? Oh okay, how easy are those
(09:27):
days as they pass by? Not knowing whether or not
you're an employee anymore, not knowing whether or not you're
gonna show up and your key card's gonna work anymore.
But don't worry about it. It's out of respect. You
know that they want to be delicate to your situation.
Kiss my ass. You know I'm gone cut the cord,
Let me go, let me go find something else. I
don't need to be waiting around for this. Respect. What
(09:50):
a bunch of crap, and people are running with this.
This is about his loyalty to Jason Garrett. His loyalty
to Jason Garrett. If he had loyalty to Jason Garrett
and it was such a personal relationship that he didn't
want to damage, why is he dangling in the wind
all these days later. It doesn't make any sense. It's
just the out of respect crap has got to stop.
(10:11):
That's a bogus narrative. It doesn't add up. It doesn't
make any sense whatsoever. Jonas Knox in for Ben Maller
here on Fox Sports Radio. You can listen to the
show on the iHeartRadio app. You can get me on
Twitter at the Jonas Knox at the Jonas Knox on Twitter.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome in the respected, the hard working,
(10:32):
the hustling, and one of the best in the business.
Edmund Effing Garcia, your national update anchor here at Fox
Sports Radio. Well, you're putting it on thick right there,
but I appreciate it. I appreciate It's a new Years,
a new me eddie for those who are old enough
to remember, and I am. When Jerry Jones took over
(10:53):
ownership of the Dallas Cowboys, he booted Tom Landry out
the door with no care and respect at all and
was heavily criticized for the way that he handled that.
So for him now to be treating Jason Garrett like
he's the second coming of Vince Lombardi and with this,
(11:15):
with the supposed care and respect as the reason why
this is dings along is pretty hilarious. It's just like,
and I actually heard more details on that when he
actually let Tom Landry go, I actually heard that he
actually took Tom Landry's hat off and used it as
a spitterer, like he had a mouthful of Copenhagen and
actually used Tom Landry's hat as a spitterer. Now I
can't confirm, yeah, and now I can't confirm that, but
(11:36):
but that you know, that's one of the rumors that's
been out there. I just I don't know about you,
but I would want to know, like what is my
fate like so I can at least like we can
move on with this. It just none of this adds
up to me, Like why don't they just come like
at this point, I actually hope they come out and
they say we signed Jason Garrett to a three year extension,
like I mean, just something. It just it doesn't add up,
(11:58):
like teams are already making decisions. Like even the Browns
seem like they've got it together. They've got multiple interviews. Well,
it's just what they it seems like. I'm not I'm
not saying they actually do it, just they've got multiple
interviews lined up. Yeah, they're also going to hire a
head coach before they hire a GM. That's a brilliant Well,
I mean listen, you know, I mean they're trying to,
you know, re shuffle the deck here, Eddie. I mean,
(12:20):
it's it's a it's a new new Cleveland Browns. It's
a new era of Cleveland brown football. Eddie. Yeah, I
just I don't get it. It doesn't It doesn't make
any sense to me. Have you ever been through like
a tough time in a relationship, Eddie. Obviously you're married now,
but like and at some point you guys know, God,
it's not really working. You just get to the point
to man, are we done so I can just move on? Yeah?
(12:44):
But I mean no, I mean, I mean not really
in that situation as far as the relationship. But because
you're a womanizer. I mean, that's exactly that's well known.
The thing with the Cowboys that I find fascinating is
that Jerry Jones, by all account, is a brilliant businessman
on many different levels, and he's done a lot of
great things for the league, but he doesn't seem to
(13:05):
be able to do a lot of great things, at
least football wise, with the Cowboys. And I know obviously
that he won multiple Super Bowls with Jimmy Johnson, but
since then it's been pretty laughable the list of head
coaches that he's hired, from Chan Gaily to Tony Sperrano,
I mean, Wade Phillips, I mean, it's just wasn't Dave
(13:29):
Campo in there as well? Campo was. It's it's like,
how can he not understand that he needs to finally
hire a you know, a head coach who's going to
do what he needs to do and not be constantly
in fear of Jerry Jones. And you know, look, it's
one thing to share the spotlight with Jerry Jones. I
think that's just that's just a reality of being the
(13:52):
head coach of the Dallas Cowboys. But to keep hiring
guys who are not really the type of coach that
the Dallas Cowboys should have, right if you're gonna think
about the history of this franchise and where they are
in the landscape of professional sports teams. I mean, he
should go out and get the best coach available and
throw all the money that he has Adam and and
(14:14):
let that guy do his job. But he hasn't done
it since Jimmy Johnson. And there's two like two things
that I think about when it comes to Jerry Jones,
and this is this is a breakdown on Jerry Jones
and his football knowledge or whatever you want to ternam it.
When he was when Jimmy Johnson was still at the Cowboys.
There's a story that in the draft room one year
(14:35):
that Jerry Jones leaned over and asked Jimmy Johnson to
be talking to him when the camera went into the
draft room on television. So it made it seem like
Jerry was having some input in who they were drafting.
Like that's a real story and totally believe. And Jimmy
Johnson's like, what what do you mean, Like, like, what
(14:56):
is happening here? Here's the other one. In twenty sixteen,
when the first round of the draft was over, Jerry
Jones was devastated because he said, I'm gonna regret not
making that move. Normally, all my success in life has
come from taking a risk, and I think I'm gonna
look back on this and regret not taking the risk
(15:16):
and offering up more to move up in the draft
to take that player. That player he was talking about
was Paxton Lynch Okay, Jerry Jones said that on the record.
I thought, no, no, I mean I would like he
said that on the record, So it's just it's it's
somebody who I think really wants to be a football guy,
and it has a great reputation as far as like
(15:38):
a loyal guy in all this, but he's not. And
I don't know when he's going to come to terms
with it, Like they had to talk him out of
not taking going to happen. Yeah, it's just but I'll
tell you what, man, he's he's a brilliant guy when
it comes to making them the talk of the league,
Like this is being talked about more than the playoff
games coming up this weekend. And maybe that's our fault,
(15:59):
but I just saw the playoff games this weekend. Look,
I love playoff football and I'll be watching all the games.
But I don't know that there's any of these games.
You're like, Wow, I can't wait to see this game,
you know. I guess the Patriots to see if they
actually lose, would be the one. I mean, my Buffalo
Bills taken on the Houston Texans. All right. I love
Josh Allen, I love the Bills. I love what I watched.
(16:21):
For some reason, I found myself watching way too many
Bills games this year. I'm looking forward to that one. Hey, look,
the Bills could go in and win that game. Don't
be surprised. So but it's nice to have a stress
free football. The Steelers aren't in it. Stress free, you
don't have to worry about it, no stress at ye.
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
(16:44):
Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app. We are going
to have another edition of Ask ass Clown, all right,
So ask ass clown coming up Bottom of the Hour
here on Fox Sports Radio. But it's also ask a
member of the crew things as well too. So normally
you guys do ask Ben Ben Maller, not here. So
(17:06):
we started doing this, I want to say a couple
of years ago when I filled in for Ben, somebody said,
why don't we do an ask ask clown instead, since
you know they consider me an ass clown, because they're
really nice people in the Mallar militia. So we rolled
with it. We had a lot of fun with it.
So send those in. You can ask the crew anything,
Ask ask clown coming up bottom of the hour at
(17:27):
UH Broncho Fan at UH Broncho Fan on Twitter, and
we will have all that four year coming up bottom
of the Hour here on FSR. So I defended I
tried to I thought I did a pretty convincing job.
I tried to defend Dan Snyder, the owner of the
Washington Redskins, who opened up his press conference introducing a
brand new head coach, Ron Rivera, by wishing everybody on
(17:48):
January second, Happy Thanksgiving. Odd interesting, understandable. I think it's
it's an easy mistake to have. I'm not going to
kill the guy for it. I don't. I don't choose
to take that route. A lot of people have, and they,
you know, the Redskins are an easy target because of
(18:09):
their transgressions over the past several years. So it's an
easy thing to look at and jump on and wonder,
how the hell could that happen. I think it's a
simple mistake. Just a simple mistake was made, that's all.
But I do, I actually do think there's sound that's
more interesting than just Dan Snyder saying Happy Thanksgiving. So
(18:32):
I thought the decision by Ron Rivera to take the
head coaching job of the Washington Redskins was a little
bit puzzling, and I couldn't really figure it out because
he didn't interview anywhere else. It felt like there were
better jobs out there. I think the browns is probably
a better job I think the Giants is a better job.
(18:54):
If the Cowboys open up, I think that's a better job.
It didn't seem like the best job out there yet
Ron Rivera just jumped on it right away and it
didn't make any sense to me. And then Ron Rivera
spoke about why this was the job for him, and
pay close attention because what he's actually saying isn't what
(19:17):
he's saying here. I took this job for one simple reason,
one simple reason because Dan Syder came to me with
a very interesting perspective. For weeks, he's explored the reasons
why some teams win and some teams don't. He told
me the common factor and that transitional success of teams
like the Patriots, the Seahawks, and the Chiefs was the
decision to take it and make a coach senator approach.
(19:39):
Not an owner senator approach, or a team president or
a GM but a coach senator approach. Yeah, what he's
saying there is Dan Snyder was desperate and Ron Rivera
knew it. That's what he's saying, And it makes all
the sense in the world now because he didn't even
have a conversation with anybody else, even when you hear
(20:03):
some of the details about how this thing all got done.
Like he told his agent, no, no, no no, no, I
don't want to talk to anybody else. I've had multiple
sit downs, multiple dinners, multiple conversations with Dan Snyder. This
is the one I want to go with, like, no conversation,
even when his agent was kind of saying, you know,
maybe kind of peek at some of the no, no, no no, no,
(20:24):
this is the one that I want. I think Ron Rivera,
and I think it's smart, saw desperation because Dan Snyder
is tired of losing, tired of being dysfunctional, tired of
being the problem. And I think Dan Snyder was willing
to concede anything to try and get the right guy
for the job. Apparently Joe Gibbs, former Redskins coach, was
(20:44):
involved in talking to Ron Rivera and also mentioning Ron
Rivera the second he was available, that that's a guy
you want to consider. And I think Ron Rivera, in
sitting down with Dan Snyder, saw a desperate owner, saw
a guy who wants this narrative and this conversation about
(21:06):
his organization to stop and become a positive one. And
I think that's why Ron Rivera took the job because
I think he's going to have a level of power
that few coaches in the NFL have, Like they don't
have a GM yet, And so when he's saying there,
it's going to be coach centered, like it's basically going
to be Ron Rivera is calling the shots. So why
(21:28):
wouldn't he take the gig? He smelled desperation, and it
makes sense like he didn't talk to anybody else, like
ask yourself, like, what's the worst job on the market
all the jobs available. He wasn't going to go back
to Carolina obviously, So of all the jobs available, which
(21:49):
one is the worst job on the market. I mean,
if you just look roster wise, look around the league,
who's got the worst job? I mean, we know what
the Dallas Cowboy job if it's open, if that one
is even open, we know the Dallas Cowboys job is
a good job based on the talent they have in
the roster, based on the name brand, all of that
that goes along with it. The Giants have their quarterback
(22:12):
of the future and a running back of the future
that's a once in a decade type player in se
Quon Barkley. So that feels like it's like it's a
good gig, and you start to look around, you go, okay, well,
the Browns are a loaded roster. The Redskins, i would say,
are the worst job of the available ones that are
on the market. So why would Ron Rivera, who's got
(22:35):
one of the great reputations in the NFL of anybody,
why would he take that job without even talking to
anybody else. Even when his agent says, you sure, you
don't want to have a conversation with somebody else, Ron
Rivera just said, no, no, no, this is the one
for me, because he's smart enough to recognize when he's
got a little bit more power than he would somewhere else,
(22:56):
and he's got it with the Redskins. For lack of
a better term, Dan Snyder's desperate. I mean, look at
the state of the division, Like the Eagles won the
division at nine and seven, and for most of the
year we're hovering right at five hundred or below five hundred,
(23:19):
and if Jason Garrett is out in Dallas, Ron Rivera
is now the second longest tenured head coach in the division,
next to Doug Peterson, and Ron Rivera has been there
an hour and a half like he knew and recognized
what the opportunity was and for what. Maybe they can't
(23:40):
give you from a roster standpoint, He's going to get
it from a patient standpoint because Dan Snyder is desperate
to try and turn around the organization. Desperate. It's why
he finally decided to walk away from Bruce Allen. I
think he sat Ron Rivera down and said, I'm tired
of this, I'm tired of losing. I trust you, how
(24:02):
do we turn this thing around? Got a five year contract,
recognize he had a certain amount of leverage that maybe
some other places he wouldn't have. And he struck while
he could. And I don't blame him now now it
makes sense now I get it. Before I didn't understand it,
Like what was it about Washington? I mean he didn't
like there was no like nothing, not even from a
(24:23):
negotiating tactic, a negotiating standpoint. I mean urban Meyer is
not even in the league, and urban Meyer is kind
of dangling between two teams. Mike McCarthy's got his name
and a bunch of other spots. Ron Rivera that that's
the one for you. He's been given some sort of
leverage and control in the organization that he felt like
(24:44):
he wasn't going to get to elsewhere. And now it
makes sense. Now I completely get it. Before I didn't
understand it at all. Now I think it makes total sense.
Jonas Knox in for Ben Maller here on Fox Sports
Radio at The Jonas Knox on Twitter at The Jonas
Knox on Twitter. Um, ladies and gentlemen, open up your ears.
(25:06):
More importantly, open up your hearts and welcome in the
wonderfully gifted and talented Edmund. Louise Garcia here on Fox
Sports Radio. Racist. That's how is that racist? Louise? Yeah?
Isn't your middle name Louise racist? No? Not even close.
(25:27):
Oh yeah, I'm the racist. How about that? I'm the racist. Yeah.
There there's your racist right there, justin Cooper playing all
those drops. You know my middle name, Jonas? Come on,
uh is a steamboat? Willie? What is your middle name?
(25:47):
It's Dallas? Yeah, Edmund, Oh that that is a real one.
I thought that was just one Ben made up. No,
it's real, okay, so Edmund? So that what was it? Dallas? Steamboat? Willie? Um?
Judas solid Gold? Uh, corporate corporate? Jar Jar? What is
jar Jar? Because you like Star Wars and he was
(26:08):
upset because I, uh, I took I took a day
off to go to was it? I can't remember. I
think I went to the Star Wars movie or something.
Took a day off to go to the the Star Wars
movie or something, and he got mad at you for it. Yeah,
well he gets mad if you take any days off,
which is ironic because he's taken two weeks off. But
of course he's made to take two weeks off. The
rest of us just choose to do it. Well, hold
on a second. He took time off to go to
(26:29):
an effing garlic festivals? Like, what are we talking? That?
Is that? What it was you guys? For me? Yeah?
Is when you when you went to Disneyland. That was
steamboat Willie? How that's right? You? You you called out
because the new Star Wars movie was coming out. Hold
on sounds So why is steamboat Willie attached to the
(26:53):
Star Wars Disneyland thing? No, it's not the Star Wars Disneyland.
It's just the Disneyland. Okay, steamboat Willie's attached to Disneyland
or you don't know what steamboat Willie? Now? What is that?
That was the name of the original first Mickey Mouse cartoon.
Really yeah, And there's even a on the main street
there at Disneyland. There's a little theater and it plays
(27:14):
the Steamboat Willie cartoon. If you want to go in
there and watch it, it's on the Marquis. How do
you get from Steamboat Willie to Mickey Mouse? That happen? Well,
I think that's the that's Mickey Mouse a character. Yeah,
I think it's it was. It was always Mickey Mouse.
But the name of the little first cartoon was Steamboat Willie.
He was a Mickey Mouse was like on a steamboat.
(27:36):
I've never actually seen it, which is ironic. But uh,
by the way, do you think that there's ever been
a woman in the history of planet Earth that's ever
walked into the Disneyland park and not bought Mickey ears
within the first ten minutes there there? Do you think
that that exists? That because my wife didn't do that one? Good?
(27:56):
It's good. I am having even more respect for Karen
now good. I mean, I can't speak to the first
time she went as a child what happened then, But
it's just like and they it's intentionally set up right
near the end trend. So when you walk in, they're
just gonna they're gonna play to your your emotions and
everybody's gonna get Mickey Years. And it's like, what are
they like two thousand dollars for one or like you
(28:17):
can rent a p you got to get the new
gold sequined one. Okay, I didn't know. I didn't know
that was the thing. When's the last time you went
to Disneyland? Coop um. It's been like probably about three years.
By the way, California Adventure better than Disneyland, and it's
not even close. I mean, you won't know why they
got booze. That's why. Really, Hey, listen, man, if I'm gonna,
(28:43):
if I gotta hang out and and like be around
a bunch of stuff I don't watch, like at least
like let me bend the elbow a little bit, give
me a couple of IPAs, and let me walk around
and stumble and get into trouble a little bit. I don't.
I mean, like I don't watch half this stuff. I
don't even know what it means. I didn't I thought
Steamboat Willie was like a pro wrestling. Question for you Jonahs,
when you go to a theme park, and you see
those you know guys and gals in those you know outfits.
(29:06):
Does do you like get like flashbacks or do you
like empathize what you're feeling towards those so considering you
were once the rabbit Chucky, Yeah, I walked up to
the guy who was dressed his goofy. Um. There was
a guy dresses goofy and I just walked up to me.
You know, they're not allowed to talk, and I just
I got up real close to him and I said,
I just want you to know I'm better at what
(29:30):
you do than you are. And uh, he just he
looked at me. He took his head off and he
walked away. He quit right there on the spot, Eddie.
And uh, I mean, look, it's you know, it just
it goes to my resume, my confidence in my ability
to to perform in front of a group of people.
And uh, I just think I think they're Look, hey,
(29:53):
did you ever share the story with the with the
people on the air about what happened with that little
kid that that punched you in the package? Did you
ever share that what the kid, the kid who violently
attacked me. I mean, how can you the retaliation was
there was no retaliation. Okay, there was no retaliation. What
was the retalt? I couldn't breathe here? What I did do?
I walked up. My buddy was working, um, because we
(30:15):
both worked there. My buddy was working the game room,
which is basically where you know if there's a ticket
the jams or a token or whatever it was that
sounds like, yeah, it's so bad. I walk over and
I'm cursing as loud as I can, but it's it's
so loud in there, and he's like, what's going because
this kid hit me so hard in the balls, like
(30:36):
took a running start and I didn't see it. Company
hit me so hard in the balls. Smiling is the ironic. Yeah,
but people have no idea, and so you're pouring and
the design of the chuck E cheese it was like
this these big this big glass facing the window and
the sun is beating in there. So it's so hot
in the suit. It's so bad. Um. And so there
(30:57):
was another time where they had to tell me when
I was dancing because you go on the on the
big screen. Okay, so yeah, I've never actually been in
a right, so I don't know. All right, So when
you go into a Chuck E Cheese to a musical
number like like a couple times an hour, like that's
the point, Like, Okay, who's turning into U? It's so
it's it's so bad. So we go in there and
(31:21):
I get into the Chucky costume and you've got to
stand up on this stage. And so while they're doing
the birthday dance for the kids who are and let's
just be honest here for parents out there, the only
reason you take your kid to Chuck E Cheese because
you don't have to clear up the mess. That's it.
You don't have to deal with it at home. And
it's cheaper than buying a bounce house at a park.
So you take your kids to Chuck E Cheese, you
trash the place, they assault the person dressed as Chucky,
(31:44):
and you walk out of there with a buzz because
they do serve beer behind the counter. That's all it is.
That's the only thing that they're doing. And so I
was you dance on the blue screen and while you're
on stage, and it shows up on all the TVs
around the restaurant, so it's in the game room, it's
over here. I wonder you didn't kill you, well, okay,
but but here's the thing. So I because there was
(32:06):
no instructions on how you are allowed to dance, I'll
still ask you, do you still know the birthday dance?
I don't gotta don't remember. It's been so long, but
I all I know is this. When I grew up,
my favorite professional wrestler was ravishing Rick Rude because he
was so obnoxious that I just thought it was hysterical.
So I'm doing the ravishing Rick Rude stuff in the
Chucky costume. My manager. This is a true story, Hand
(32:30):
to God. My manager pulls me aside after a couple
of weeks of it and says, hey, so, um, you know,
love the energy and all that, but needs you to
calm down with the hip with the hip gyrations. He's like,
he's he's, I need you to calm down with the
hip gyrations because you know, it's just they can see
it on all the TV's around the restaurant, Like we
all think it's funny. I can. He's ill, so you're
(32:52):
not in trouble or anything. I just, you know, I
think we should calm it down. I was like, okay,
that's fine. Whatever. So fast forward. This is a true
story on my on hand to God. This is a
true story. It's a Friday night. About a month later.
He comes up to me and he goes, a, I
need you to do something for me. I was like,
what's up. He goes, there's a bachelorette party over in
(33:15):
the game room at one of the boosts. They thought
it would be funny to have their bachelorette party at
Chuck e Cheese. And I said, so, what do you
want me to do? He goes, well, I need Chucky
and I was like, okay. He goes and he kind
of gave me this look and I said, all right,
but I got your permission. He goes this one time.
I'm all hip gyrations are okay. He's all this one
(33:37):
time because there wasn't it wasn't too busy. So I
go over there and I've got like my giant red
shoe up on the table, full blown stripper like it is.
It is magic Mike dressed as our sewer rat. And
I'm I've it is like lap dances the word. They're
giving me dollar bills, they're giving me everything. So it
goes on for a few minutes. He's dying laughing behind
(33:59):
the counter I walk back in, I change out of
the costume, I come back out dressed normal. They have
no idea that it's me and I walked by and
just continue cleaning up the party. They had no idea
I got paid to lap dance at a bachelorette party
dressed as Chucky. And that's why I walked up to
Goofy and told him I'm better at what you do
than you are, pal, So take the l How about that, Eddie?
(34:23):
So it's done, Eddie garcon ye man. Yeah. People talk
about like, you know, what would you do if you
go back in time? What would you want to do?
That's I think that's what I would want to do.
I want to go back and see that moment so
bad I could not wait to get the hell out
of there. It's there on the New Year's Eve, you all, God,
my daughter, that's where you guys watched the ball drop
(34:44):
on New Year's already earlier in the morning, in the morning.
I mean it's rough, man, It's they're still serving beer
right Oh yeah behind the counter. Oh yeah, parents used
to get ripped. Oh I went by myself of my
daughter still. I walked in there and I was like, okay,
I gotta get a beer. Yeah, you have to like
it's it's it's Yeah. The food is not bad. They
had an Italian sandwich there. I remember when I was
(35:06):
there that was that was pretty good. But yeah, it's
not a fun gig around. And and by the way,
Heather Locklear came in there one time, and there's a
picture somewhere in Heather Locklear's house. Her kid was celebrating
a birthday and the chucky in that picture is me
standing next to Heather Locklear. That's a fact, that a
(35:27):
true story. Looking at the camera. I was looking at
the camera the entire speaking of jonas celebrity, uh, you
know brushes. We talked about the program on the show yesterday,
the movie the program. Oh man, your boy Craig Schiffer, right, yeah,
he's a interesting guy. By the way, did you know
that that was all filmed that William Spryce or South
(35:48):
Carolina Plays? I did not. I thought it was at
the Georgia Tech Stadium. Now is it William Spry William
Spryce or South Carolina Plays? I love that movie, man,
Oh my god, I love the program. That's so good.
Joe Man, you're not you're not a fan of Joe Kane, Eddie,
come on, okay, what's better that or any given Sunday? Oh?
Come on, you you think any given Sundays even in
(36:10):
the same realm as the program. Okay, I've never seen
the program. Kill him all look the paramedics short him out.
Come on, man, Alvin Mack, Alvin Max by the way,
the guy who played Alvin Mack, his son plays college football,
and I forget he's the linebacker. His son plays college football.
I forget for what team? Is it? Alabama? No? No,
(36:31):
it might be mar Epps. No, no, no, no. The
guy who played Alvin Mack, his son plays college football,
and it's either Clemson or Ohio State. It's it's one,
it's it's a big program. But his son actually plays
college football. The guy who played Alvin Mack in the movie.
So all right, what about Wildcats? Eddie? You fan of
wild black black linebacker? Because it was a black linebacker. Yeah.
(36:53):
I don't even know why racist needs to be run
into this? What is that? So what if he's black?
What do you try to get? What did you think
the name Alvin Mack was a white guy? I mean,
come on, kind of a bed gibblon isn't it. Be
sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller Show
weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific. It is
time for another edition of Ask Ask Clown. The questions
(37:15):
are coming in to myself and members of the crew
here on Fox Sports Radio, and we turn it over
to Justin Cooper to find out what the hell everybody
wants to talk about? Well, Jonas, as his customary during
this U segment, we usually asked Ben questions just for him,
and then a couple of him then everybody else. So
we're gonna start with a couple of questions just for you, Jonas.
(37:37):
This one is from This is from Joe, Joe and
San Antonio. Jonas, did you ever nail a mom that
you met as the rat I was in I was
in high school? Yeah, so so the answer so the
(37:59):
answer that that is, I wish no, I never know.
It wasn't Like how how is that? Like? How do
you pull that off? Like? Hey, so what do you
do for work on the rabbit? Chuck e cheese? The
other thing? It's not exactly uh, you know, a compliment.
All right, moving on, Another question for you, Jonas is
from Matthew Warrior. Raiders as fan h Jonas, Do you
regret saying on the air that you'd rather get a
(38:21):
prostate exam from Edward scissor Hands than hang out with
the Mallard militia? No, I know, I know, you know what.
The Mallar militia. They can dish it out, but sometimes
they can't take it. Man, it's called busting balls. Here.
We're having fun. You guys give it to me. I
give it right back. Come on, stop crying about it,
all right. This is for everyone. This is from Manic Mike.
(38:42):
If you were running for president, who would you pick
as your VP running mate? Oh? Geez um, Oh that's
a good one. Who would I think? Does that have
to be somebody in the world of sports or just
anybody in Jedda. I think just anybody trying to think
of what would be. But let's keep it to people
(39:04):
that you know personally. Oh, well, it's nobody that work.
How about people that work here? Yeah? All right, so
people that work here. If I was needed a VP,
man um, I would say, I'm gonna go Eddie Garcia.
(39:24):
How's that I'm gonna go Eddie Garcia. That's very nice
if you Yeah, let's see who would I pick? Um? Well,
let me ask you, you guys a question, who's the
most hated man on the network? That's a loaded question.
I know I picked that guy because then because then
(39:47):
it would increase the chances that I would not be assassinated,
because then that guy would take off. That's my answer.
That is a lot of questions, right, I gotta go
with Coop and then we'll legalize um we all across America. Man. Yeah, priorities, priorities. Yeah,
forget the budget. We want a smoke pot. Yeah. Yeah,
he doesn't work here. He doesn't work here anymore. But
(40:09):
I'd go with Tom Looney. You know, in the words
of Connor McGregor, who the bleep is that guy? Oh? Nothing?
Oh no, all right? Uh this is it says it's
just for you. But everybody can answer this. It's from
Ernie the Great old piner. Death not an option. Would
(40:31):
you pick to be stuck in the same elevator for
eight hours with Lizzo or Clay Aiken? Who the hell
is Lizzo? I don't know who that is either, you
don't out jeez, god, guys, what is Liza? Up with
pop culture? Keep up with bad music? Yes, but remember
she was at the Laker game a couple of weeks
(40:51):
ago and there was that controversy because she stood up
and she was like wearing a thong like in her seat.
Oh yeah, I mean, yeah, google it. I mean I
didn't see it, but I heard about it. There he is,
there's your there's the VP. There's Coop's VP right there. Um,
(41:12):
Lizzo or Clay Akin. I and you had to be
stuck in an elevator, yes, for eight hours with with
one of one of the other Lizzo M hmm, yeah,
I have to go with Clay Aiken. I'll leave that. Yeah,
I'll ahead and leave. I'll ask no further questions, you know,
because it just after a while, it's probably gonna get
(41:32):
a little rank in there. And you know what, that's
a fair product. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't go
into body od or anything like that. I didn't know.
It wasn't. Yeah, I didn't. I didn't. I didn't know.
This question is for a Berto. Uh, I don't know what.
They made the question really racist and it didn't have
(41:54):
to be, uh, says Justin. Says Roberto, does your cousin
Speedy Gonzalez have any advice for the Malar Militia on
what is the best cheese for chilist chili? Like, like,
why do you why do you need cheese and chili?
I don't, I don't know, that's the question. By the way,
(42:19):
I love I love Theoti cheese, that Mexican parmesan kind
of cheese. It's I love. Yeah. By the way, depending
on t that'll go right through you. That's that's you,
sane boy to find it's a good cheese. It is,
it is. But I'm just saying, like that parmesan a
(42:39):
little bit dicey. Uh, this is for everyone on the crew.
This is from Laker Rudy. I've actually never seen on
here before. But uh wants to know what is your
favorite toilet paper? Oh, Roberto's right away? Who does man?
Jesus Sharman, Dude, come on, Sharman. Ultra Charmo arm in
(43:00):
Ultra strong, not Ultra soft. The strong one they have.
They have the soft one at Costco, which which sucks perfect.
It's good. But one time they had the Ultra Strong
at Costco and I and I and I tried that one.
Didn't get on your finger much better. Roberto, No, no
need to be so delicate, believable, like the Ultra Strong
(43:24):
leaves less behind. Oh my god, I didn't even know.
I didn't know what to say. I mean, we're just
we're just swinging away here for the fences. Jesus man,
you got any more, Cooper anymore? You're not gonna answer
Jonas anything that's not anything, anything that's not one play.
(43:50):
I'll go, that's not one play, all right, what do
We'll just go? Yeah, well they we'll leave it right there.
Scarring the segment, Roberto here saying
Host
Ben Maller
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