December 13, 2024 • 40 mins
Ben Maller talks about the Cowboys being the world's most valuable sports team for the 9th straight year, Aaron Rodgers saying the Jets may be plagued by some sort of curse, Lame Jokes of the Week, and much more!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Here we go. Welcome playing Rock Scissors paper here in
our number three of the original Recipe podcast. We start
out this hour in Jerry's world. What's the lesson from
Jerry Jones Cowboys being the world's most valuable sports team
for the ninth straight bleep in year. Also Aaron Rogers.
(00:23):
Aaron Rodgers says the Jets may be plagued by some
sort of curse. What's your reactionhan to this? And Bear's
quarterback Caleb Williams asked his teammates how to prepare for
all this losing in Chicago? Where do you stand on that?
As well? We'll get to all of it and much
more right now, opening up a big can of worms.
(00:44):
It's our number three and lame jokes. It's getting spicy
in here. It's getting spicy. A voice in my head
tells me, I have many voices in my head, well, goum.
In the beginning another hour of the Ben Malors Show,
we are.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
In the air, amyere slithering through the late night hours
as we guide you through those shadows of darkness coast
to coast, border to voter and beyond on the.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Vast and rolicingly powerful microphones of FSR amminating live from
the Zone, the fun Zone of the Overnight. We're broadcasting
live from the tyrack dot com studios. Tyract dot com
will help you get there an unmatched selection, fast free shipping,
free road hazard protection, and over ten thousand recommended installers
(01:44):
tyraq dot com The Way the Tire Buying SHOWB I
know Kelly formerly known as Donut Kelly in do I
say she's still in Nashville. I feel like she's in
Des MOINESW. I feel like she's living in Iowa. Now
she's not living in na for anymore. I feel like
she's with She's with Shane, so that's where they are.
I don't know anyway likes the number ten thousand. They
(02:07):
both like the number ten thousand. So our lead this
hour is not not from the Ram forty nine er
game A Battle of the Kickers. The Rams won that game.
We did have something that doesn't happen every day in
the NFL. A player literally quit on his team for
the forty nine ers. How bad are things? How bad
(02:28):
are things for the forty nine ers? What are the
players literally said, I can't handle this anymore, I'm leaving.
How many people are writing right now it's probably already
on the internet. You shouldn't make fun of the guy,
you know, he's probably going through a lot and all
that stuff. Yeah, that's the world we're living in right now.
But I live in the world. I guess I'm old school.
You know, you have a job to do. You finish
the job. You don't quit in the middle of the job.
(02:49):
But you know, I guess I'm dated that way. I'm
an I quit anyway. Our lead this hour is from
the business world, if you will. Business, that's right, the
sports business world. Tis the time of the year when
franchise values are announced. Boy, do I look forward to
this May? And do I look for this? So it's
(03:10):
a right of passage in December. So I don't know
if you saw this or not. Maybe not. The people
over at Forbes they're in a battle with Sportico and
a couple of other operations that do sports business. But
Forbes has been doing it longer than anybody. And so
Forbes released their annual list of the most valuable teams
(03:34):
in sports, and the NFL was the featured vehicle, if
you will, And the team that was at the very top,
the team that was number that would be that Dallas Cowboys.
That Dallas Cowboys. Cowboys on top for the ninth straight year,
(03:56):
the ninth straight year. And they are like secretariat running
away from everyone else. They have separated themselves from the
field in the industrial complex of professional sports. Now they
give you some perspective here. Jerry Jones, way back in
nineteen eighty nine, the Bronze Age, Jerry Jones bought the
(04:18):
Cowboys for a record one hundred and forty million dollars.
People said, are you out of your bloody mind? This
oil guy from Arkansas paying one hundred and forty million
dollars for an NFL team? And the Cowboys were not
very good at that time. Tom Landry was the coach
and he was one thousand years old, and he had
all those hats and all that. Anyway, so Jerry Jones
(04:41):
bought the team. The franchise value now ten point one billion.
Let me repeat that for those of you a little slow,
because it's late at night, early in the morning, probably distracted.
I'm gonna make sure that j DeVito, the trash man
in Boston, knows ten point one billion for the Cowboys.
(05:06):
That's how much they're worth, according to Forbes. Now that
figure is up twelve percent year to year, and that
makes the Cowboys the first franchise in any sport to
hit eleven digits. I can't even count that high. Eleven
digits for the Dallas football team. That is global domination,
(05:29):
global domination. All right, now, so let us discuss the
question what is the lesson? What do you think the lesson
is from Jerry Jones Cowboys being the world's most valuable
sports team for the ninth consecutive year. So I have
Zen Master, Star Trek and Burger King, and we will
(05:52):
combine those things that have never been mentioned in the
same paragraph, will combine them all together and give you
immense knowledge unless we don't. All right, So, first of all,
there is no correlation causation thing going on here between
winning and franchise value. Jerry Jones has not won a
(06:17):
Super Bowl as the GM and owner of the Dallas
Cowboys since the day's back before YouTube, before Instagram and
TikTok and even MySpace wasn't around when the Cowboys were
in the Super Bowl last and won the Super Bowl
with Troy Aikman and Emmitt Smith and Mike Irvin and
(06:38):
our friend James Washington. All right, part of the FSR
Alumni Association. But back in those days when the last
time they won, Netscape Navigator was a thing and AOL
dial up Internet was how people consumed the Internet. It
was very archic, as you might imagine. And while many
are convinced that Jerry Jones in modern football is in
(07:02):
absolute failure, we go find him all the time. He
does seem like he's he's losing it a little bit,
doesn't have the gusto that he once done, once did.
But in the business of sport, in the business of sport,
Jerry Jones, in his mind is the zen master of football.
Move over Phil Jackson. The Dallas Cowboys, if you just
(07:25):
look at it as a business, and you don't look
at it like many people do, as a community trust
and that you're representing the community and it's part of
the arts if you will, like that's a badge of pride.
But the Cowboys have fans all over the country, not
just in Dallas and not just in Texas. But in
the mind of Jerry Jones, this is a juggernaut. Forget
(07:47):
the Lombardi. The Dallas Cowboys have not one, not two,
not three, not four, not five, not six, not seven,
not eight nine straight Forbes trophies. Now that is a portfolio.
A famous broadcaster for the New York Yankees back in
the day, John Sterling told me on my podcast one time.
He said, Ben, the most important thing is to sell
(08:11):
the soap. He told me that John Sterling and Jerry
Jones sells a lot of soap. He sells all kinds
of soap, He sells shampoo, he sells bar soap, you
name it. And he has this Bengali effect on the
Cowboy fan where the Cowboy fan they're like an abusive relationship.
(08:32):
They know that Jerry's gonna f them over, they know
the team's gonna blow in the end, and yet every
year it's the circle of the Cowboys. They get convinced. Now,
this year was a little different. They did not go
out and add a sexy free agent or get a
high draft pick that really turned things in their favor.
But still people continue to be brainwashed. Year after year.
(08:55):
The Dallas Cowboy fan base makes the pilgrimage to Jerry World,
and in Jerry's world, old they fork over with no
gun to their head, no knife to their throat. They
fork over their hard earned money on all kinds of
merchandise and Cowboy paraphernalia and tickets and all that stuff.
And the fact that the Cowboys are at ten point
one billion, that is two and a half billion dollars
(09:15):
ahead of number two. You know who's number two? You
know who's second? Who do you think it is? You
think it's like the Jets of the Giants, right, because
they're in a New y No, you think it's Kansas
City because the Mahomes and Andy Reid and the Chiefs
are in the Super Bowl. Every you know, how about
a team that many of you have told me has
(09:37):
no fan base, a team that doesn't belong The Lams,
the La Rams are number two. And if you check
this out, it's fun with numbers. So the Cowboys are
at ten point one billion according to Forbes their valuation.
They're two and a half billion dollars ahead of the
Rams who are in second place, and more than double
(09:59):
that of eleven other NFL teams. The Cowboys are more
worth more than twice as much over that of eleven
NFL teams. So in the NFL is one of those
idiot proof businesses. It's one of those idiot proof businesses. Now,
what's the evidence of this? The Cincinnati Bengals are the
(10:20):
least valuable franchise in the NFL. According to Forbes, they
are worth four billion. So imagine, if you will, you
are a poverty property franchise, your poverty franchise, and you're
worth four billion. What in the weld as Jackie Slander was,
what in the world? Four billion? Four billion? And they're
(10:44):
the lowest value team in the National Football League? All right, Now,
secondly we move to our daily obligatory Aaron Rogers Aaron
Rodgers update. Aaron Rodgers has said now that the Jets
may be plagued by some sort of curse. Videot eleven.
Aaron Rodgers says the Jets may be plagued by some
sort of curse. What is your reaction? So? I had
(11:08):
a cheshire cat smile from ear to ear when I
saw this. There is no scientific evidence that curses are real. However,
much like tinker Bell, if enough people think tinker Bell
is real, tinker Bell is real. So if enough people
think of curse is real, it becomes real. But I
did chuckle this and here's why. Because Aaron Rodgers is
(11:32):
going full star trek. He's turning on those deflector shields
right now to protect against space debris and enemy attacks.
That's what he's doing because Aaron Rodgers has been a
miserable failure this season for Gang Green considering what the
expectations were, and so he's using this Star Wars Star
(11:53):
Trek rather. I think those are also in Star Wars.
But I'll use Star Trek the Deflector shields. And he's
blaming the curse. It's not me. It's not me. It's
just taking responsibility and saying I'm not good, I'm old,
i can't play anymore. I'm washed up. Instead, it's like, no, no,
we're just cursed. It's like the Wright brothers put a
curse on us because we named the team the Jets,
(12:14):
and that's mocking flying and so they're goofing on us.
All right, final thought, we headed uh Chicago, where the
pizza is good and the sports are bad. And rookie
quarterback Caleb Williams revealed this week that he sought counsel
from some of his veteran teammates. Now, the council was
on how to handle the L word loseing. Yeah, losing
(12:40):
Bears have done a lot of that now, Cala Williams
rookie quarterback Chicago Bears asked his teammates how to properly
prepare for all of this losing, how to handle it?
Where do you stand on this one? So I have
the perfect answer for this. This is a burger King story.
(13:00):
Now you know why it's a burger King story. It
is a whopper of a story, right, because it's one
of those things where it's like, hey, it ain't me,
the team sucks kind of thing. That's the vibe. I God,
am I wrong? Do you agree with that? When I
saw Killer was doing the woe as me and I
know I talked to my teammates. I'm trying to figure
out how to process all this losing. There's also a
(13:22):
tremendous lack of accountability. Now I understand that there's a
lot of low information fans maybe you're one of them,
and lower information fans. Look at the numbers that Caleb
Williams has been great, the Bears are good in spite
of Caleb Wibbs, and it's not right. And I don't understand,
like you shouldn't say anything bad about Caleb Wibbs. Looking
the numbers, Tell me you don't know ball right, Tell
(13:46):
me you don't know ball. The real ones they know
the truth. The real ones know the truth here and KILEB.
Williams has a lot of Dak Prescott vibes in him.
He has mastered the art of stat patty. He's on
his way to becoming a verified, signified stat bandito he is. Now,
(14:10):
what is my evidence? This season? If you look at
the numbers, overall, Caleb Williams has sixteen touchdowns and six interceptions,
so plus ten touchdowns to interceptions. But is it true
that over sixty percent of his success is come in
(14:32):
garbage time? That Caleb Williams in lopsided games, games where
the Chicago Bears are either up or down by three
scores the definition of garbage time, that Caleb Williams has
ten touchdowns, ten touchdowns, and only one interception in those situations.
(14:55):
But when the game is either tied or close, when
the game is within the margins, Caleb Williams has just
six touchdowns and five interceptions. Look it up, pal, I'm
not making it up. So here's the guys I'm trying
to deal with losing. Well, how about you play better?
How about you don't suck when the game's close, And
(15:18):
then maybe the Bears will win a few more games.
How about that? Now, I understand you can fool the
dumb people, and you're doing that. There's a lot of
dumb people that think Caleb's having an amazing year. But again,
that is the mother of all stats. Cayleb Williams has
ten touchdowns and one interception in games that are lopsided, lopsided,
(15:38):
multiple score games. Caleb Williams my god. Anyway, it is
the Ben Malord Show. If you want to comment on
any of that, you can join us here. It is
a calling show. Call has been good tonight and we
appreciate that.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
Eight seven, seven ninety nine on Fox eight seven seven
nine nine six six three sixty nine if you'd like
to be part also on x X marks the Spot.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
It's the advantage you have listening to the live show
at Ben Mallard. That's at Ben Mallard. But if you
don't like the live show, why are you listening now? No,
I'm kidding. We also have the podcast, which will be
up later. You can listen to the on demand version
of the show with limited limited commercial interruption. I know,
shocking time now for a fan favorite berg Dog. I
(16:26):
know you're excited, Alf calm down og Art puff and
I see over there econ Roseville, Minnesota. Yep, I know,
I know. Time now for the Mallar Riddle of the day.
And here's the Mallard Riddle of the day. Many people
are shocked and have been shocked to learn that Carolina
Panther rookie wide receiver Xavier Leggatt eight blank on Thanksgiving. Again,
(16:53):
people absolutely shocked to learn that the Carolina Panthers rookie
wide receiver Xavier Lega eight blank on Thanksgiving. That is
the mailor really love to day the answer. We'll get
to it and we will do it.
Speaker 4 (17:12):
Next.
Speaker 5 (17:13):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Mallor
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 6 (17:27):
Phillis Navi Dot, Come baby, please snave do PHELEI Snavid
Phileasnavi dot at least navides, at least staved.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Show.
Speaker 7 (17:51):
I want to wish you a Melor Christmas.
Speaker 8 (17:55):
I want to you a.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
Mal Miller Christmas. Mat back out by the It is
I Bill Miller, your voiceover experts, just like Mike Row
A lot of voiceovers and this is much like Mike
Row a dirty job. This job is not that easy.
(18:18):
A reminder that you can promote the Ben Mahler Show
on that's right on social media. Let people know about
the program, spread the gospel. Also follow the show on
the various social media channels. Now during the live show,
it's on x at Ben Mahller FSR Tech Queen for
(18:38):
the Rain and a Bronco fan for Cooplelo. But you
also have the Facebook page and there'll be a new
video up from the every week. Every Friday, there's a
new video has been pathetically have you seen this TV show?
How much that show sucks? Penning versus the Penning My god,
terrible show. But you can hear him and watch him
pathetically promote that show on on the Facebook page Ben
(19:01):
Maler Show and also on Instagram, Ben Mahler on Fox
Now also on Blue Sky as he tries to get
someone to watch that TV show. But let's get back
to the radio show right now, Bill, you did not
the TV show. First of all, the TV show didn't suck.
That's number one, and that video is going to be amazing.
(19:21):
As we have figured out the back lot at Universal Studio.
It only took us two years to figure out where
we need to go. Like, we were walking around the
studios and stuff, and it was cool, it was fine whatever.
I mean, every once in a while THEYD be a
cool movie or TV show that they were filming. But
in the very back there's this whole like downtown CD
block stuff where they've filmed so many of your favorite
(19:44):
movies and TV shows and we have free reign to
like walk around and check it out to promote the
TV show. And so it's pretty far from where we
do our little studio where we do Benny Versus the Penny.
But we we walk, and we walk because it's worth
the walk. It's worth the walk. It's it's awesome and
(20:04):
it's it's so great because you go down there in
this massive brick. We walked down there, there was this
little park, beautiful church, and so we're like, let's walk
in there. Let's see what this beautiful church looks like.
And it's it's completely empty. There's just a couple of
lights and some trash in there because they don't they
weren't filming anything, so they didn't need to put any
(20:25):
in there. It was just it's pretty cool anyway. Benny
versus the penny will be back even though Bill Miller
ripped it. Bad job by him got to pay off
the mallor riddle of the day. And here is the
mallor riddle of the day. People seem to be shocked
when they learned that Carolina Panthers wide receiver Xavier Leggett
eight blank on Thanksgiving. They're like, whoa, what is that?
(20:49):
I can't believe it did now, Dad, boy Malcolm got
this right. I'm stunned that anyone got this right. Bad job,
but you must have cheated, although you do have a
Southern advantage, that boy, Malcolm, he said, you said that's
the key there. Kelly, formerly known as Donut Kelly said,
high end sushi is the answer. Ricardo. It's a very
(21:11):
funny answer, Ricardo. I don't think we're allowed to say
that on the air, but Ricardo's a big fan of
the took us. Who else do I think I'm good?
JT the Wingman says he ate the Ben Mallard chicken
fingers the landing in Liberty, Missouri, just like JT the
Wingman has. Chris from Kentucky says he ate the Carolina
(21:34):
receiver ate Lamb Fries lamb fries. Who else do we have?
Slug in Vegas, said the old the old ninety sixer
is the answer. He ate little Debbie Christmas tree cakes
from Robin Miss. Who do we need to thank? Lorena?
Somebody sent us a bunch of like a gift package
the other day. Who was it? Do we have the
(21:55):
name there, Lorena? We need to thank someone? No, we
don't have the name. We don't have knows the name.
I don't know. It wasn't the sent to me I
would have I would have.
Speaker 4 (22:04):
Given you was Rob in Kansas City.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Oh Rob, thank you Rob, God bless you. Thank you Rob.
Very kind of you. A nice gift package. Uh so
I appreciate that a lot of sugar and uh and
it's I haven't gotten through most of it. Milkman Mike
at Colorado says a Doc Mike signature flavored yellow icy
from the doc. Who else do you? I have? Inca
tears in Kansas City? Oh Bill? Oh Coop?
Speaker 4 (22:31):
I just I just read a tweet from Rob in Minnesota.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
Sobot, Coop. You know, the most important sound is someone's
their their own name, right. The most important sound to
people is there is their name.
Speaker 4 (22:46):
And we've said it out loud and I was like,
that's not right.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
So it's Bill right.
Speaker 4 (22:51):
We have Bill Bill in Kansas City.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
Bill, I humbly apologize on behalf of Justin Cooper and
the Ben Mather Show for this injustice. It's a bad
job by the show. Heads are going to roll, heads
are going to row roll Inger terror New York, says
the Carolina Panther Player eight. The Philadelphia Championship delicacy of Horsepooh,
but that was what they ate. Who else? Donkey Sausage said,
(23:15):
wrestling turnbuckle pads like the idol George the Animal Steel
rest in peace. I met him, good dude. Who else
do we have page down? I can't read that? There
you go the Russian kids, said Ben, because Lorraine is
so beautiful. I just went through six of your podcasts
for just a second, like Bill Miller suggested, well, thank you. Yeah,
(23:37):
all we needs one minute for each podcast. You know
two minutes would be even better, but we just need
one minute. Who else do we have page down? Malo
prop guy said, pootine is the is the answer. I
see what you did there. Human meat Wow from courtesy Flusher.
A bagel flavored mac and cheese from King Roy. This
(23:58):
is some good answers. The grill sergeant is thing live
and says the answer to the riddle, Uh, he ate
the first ever order of the mallard fish and chips.
Let me tell you right now, grill sergeant, there is
no fish item, and I'm usually against it, but beer
battered fish and chips. I'm in if some restaurant, mom
and pop restaurant, if some restaurant, I'm in right, we
(24:18):
could have like a whole mallard part of the menu.
What what dish would you like, Loraina?
Speaker 9 (24:21):
I want fish and chips?
Speaker 1 (24:22):
Ben No, No, I'm saying with your name on it?
Who cares about that? With your name on it? What
do you think? Lorraina is? Uh? What would ryme? What
kind of flow with that? Linguini? Loraina?
Speaker 8 (24:34):
Is you know that?
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Yeah? That doesn't sound good?
Speaker 10 (24:37):
Now?
Speaker 1 (24:38):
All right? Wow? All right? Who else do we have?
Page down? I can't read that Rocky Mountain Oysters, Chris
and Kent Washington? Uh? I had that? Yeah, gafilter fish.
Oh god, that's disgusting. Mister Niska. Who wants to eat that? Man? Horrible?
Because I had to chew the testicles the gafilter fish
a manatee from late night drug tester. Who else do
we have? Ferg Dog says he eat crow just like
(25:01):
mister nice guy is now after he after you schooled him. Ben,
that's right, that's right, all right? Do you have an answer?
Do you have answer? All right? Ocho Texta, by the way,
says Malcolm got it right because it was talked about earlier.
I guess somewhere in Houston, do you have an answer?
Speaker 9 (25:17):
I don't know if you've had this, all right, but
he probably had ballute?
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Is that a fish?
Speaker 4 (25:24):
No, it's the like I want to know what that is.
Speaker 9 (25:26):
It's the like if you had an egg and you
actually let the chicken fertilize and then you eat the embryo.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
Yeah, you eat the embryo on the egg.
Speaker 9 (25:35):
Is that it is?
Speaker 8 (25:36):
That what he had.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
To go to radio jail.
Speaker 7 (25:45):
That's terrible.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Oh my god, that's horrible. No the answer. People seem
to be shocked to have learned that Carolina Panthers wide
receiver Xavier legged at Thanksgiving. He ate raccoon. He ate raccoon?
Some face. Yeah, he's a Southern boy. Do some South?
Well you do? I guess if you cook it well enough.
He said it's got its own taste. He said, it
(26:08):
doesn't taste like chicken. Would you ever eat raccoon? Would
you ever have that?
Speaker 4 (26:12):
I don't know if I would know.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
What is the proper way? I bet you, sir scratch
offs eating raccoon.
Speaker 9 (26:19):
I want to grill it on a stick because I
feel like if I was, like, if I was cooking it,
it's because it was a survival mode type thing, so
I'd probably skewer it and cook it all.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Well, it's like the Donner Party, right, they had to
eat human flats Dahmer. No, the Dahmer just did it
because he was hungry in Wisconsin. But he did go
to Ohio State. Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer went
to Ohio. They don't promote that for some reason. I
don't know why they don't promote that he went to
Ohio State. It's very odd. I'm guessing pen might not
(26:52):
promote that. This guy that killed the insurance guy went
to Pen also, probably right, they probably won't promote it.
Definitely not keep that on the down low. Doesn't help
people send donations into the school. Generally speaking, Yeah, well,
you can eat anything if you cook it long enough, right,
Is that true? I think so?
Speaker 9 (27:13):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, as long as you kill all the
bacteria out of it.
Speaker 4 (27:17):
Yeah, but it's more a texture thing.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Well yeah, but it's like I've done bits on the
on the Weekend the Fifth Hour podcast over the years
was it's like, why why do we not eat horse?
Because horses were valuable, we needed people needed horses to
get stuff around. They use them. But you could eat horse.
I mean there are people in Europe that eat horse,
and other places a lot.
Speaker 9 (27:39):
Of people eat horse.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Well.
Speaker 9 (27:42):
I was watching this video online Ben and all the
different like animals and how much we eat of them annually,
and I was shocked how high up on the list
horse was.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
Where was it like hi, like okay, thank you, yes.
Speaker 9 (28:02):
Like we're armadillo's at the bottom. Not a lot of
people eat armadillos.
Speaker 5 (28:07):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (28:07):
Horse was at the top.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
Not like cow.
Speaker 4 (28:11):
It's all like cow and chicken.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
Here's a here. You want a fun fact about raccoons?
You want you want to hear from the fun fact?
All right, fun fact? So, according to the Internet in
there is a town in Wisconsin, Delafield, Wisconsin, where they
every year they have an event a popular family event
since nineteen twenty eight where they eat the the is
(28:36):
it a rodent? Is that they're trash eating varmints? I
guess is what they are? Right, You're dirty and disgusting
and yeah, So in a town in Wisconsin, every year
they get together and they cook up the meat.
Speaker 9 (28:50):
So Coop is googling it.
Speaker 4 (28:53):
Yeah, what am I googling?
Speaker 9 (28:55):
Raccoon?
Speaker 4 (28:56):
No?
Speaker 1 (28:56):
No, in uh, there's a town in Wisconsin, Delafield was
Hanson where they have every year an event where they eat.
Speaker 4 (29:05):
The The trash eating raccoons are mammals.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
No, No, I didn't know.
Speaker 4 (29:13):
I know, but I was going back because you said
it like.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
That.
Speaker 4 (29:16):
No, he said, like ten seconds ago, we said, are
they rodent?
Speaker 1 (29:20):
No, I said, I changed it to varmit.
Speaker 4 (29:22):
I changed it.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
I went varmit. I learned that watching Mooney Tunes when
I was was a child.
Speaker 9 (29:29):
I learned that my grandma up in Oregon, we have
cat food that we leave out right to feed all
of her stray cats, and the raccoons always come up
and they are so hungry, and one time they came through.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
The cat or Oh it's unfortunate. Yeah, I've seen a
lot of of the the raccoons over the over the
years doing the overnight, driving around at night in the morning,
and they look at you like, I'll flash the lights
of them, and they look at me like what are
you doing? You know, I'm just trying to eat my trash.
Leave me alone. Why are you awake? You're a loser.
Speaker 9 (30:03):
They don't want to be disturbed.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
No, but they give me this like evil eye, and
I'm like, what do you like? Seriously, And one time
I saw there were like two of them that were
crossing the street, and so I flashed my lights at
them and they looked. They stopped in the middle of
the street, these two raccoons, and they looked at me
and they're like, what are you doing? Like this is
the funniest thing. I was like, it's just me. And
then there was no one else around, was like the
(30:25):
twilight zone, and they were looking at me and I
was like, uh, well, I'm trying to drive and you're
in the way, and they like looked at me like, no,
this is our time. This is our this is our time.
You humans go to bed and we're we're the ones
awake right now.
Speaker 9 (30:36):
Maybe you should have adopted them, Ben.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
I'm good. I'm good. Let's say hello to hollering James,
who's in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Hello, hollering James, James, James, James, James, James, James, James, James, James, hollering, James.
I think we got a sleeper. I think we've got
(31:01):
a sleeper.
Speaker 4 (31:04):
I'm worry if he's dead.
Speaker 9 (31:05):
Why is any breathing.
Speaker 4 (31:08):
I don't hear him.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
Breathing now, I don't hear anything. I hear the radio
in the background. James, Wake up, James, James, James, hollering James,
going once, going twice, going three times. Gone, Yeah, there
(31:30):
he goes. I think I heard a snore there. I
think it was. Let's say hello to Filexus, America's favorite
drag queen caller. Hello Flexus in Buffalo.
Speaker 4 (31:39):
Hello Dan.
Speaker 8 (31:41):
Believe it or not, this is a two and a
half hour of the show. Got two more hours to go,
but who cares anyway. Let me tell you something I
have eaten. Cool. It tastes like chicken.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
No no, no, This guy from the no no, the
guy from Carolina says it doesn't taste like chicken. You're lying, Well, no,
he did. When did you eat When did you eat raccoon?
When did you eat it?
Speaker 8 (32:05):
Oh God, that was like twenty years ago on it.
Maybe they changed.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
Why did you? Why did you? Why did you eat it?
Speaker 8 (32:13):
I was at a migrant worker points and drinking coalmade wine,
and I ate raccoon soup and I ate turtle soup.
And I've had horse.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
Horse. You he does know somebody, he's met a few.
But no, how did they? So they cooked it into
a They cooked it into a soup like I would
think if you know the raccoon, So I would think
if you were to make raccoon, you'd barbecue it and
(32:48):
you put sauce on it and then it would taste
like something else.
Speaker 8 (32:53):
You can you can do it into a sew. But what.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
Oh yeah? Fight well fried anything fried.
Speaker 8 (33:02):
You know, when you're following up and sticking in the
green and cooking the like you with fried chicken.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
Yeah? Sure, why not? You know? I am a ship
you know that, don't you?
Speaker 8 (33:17):
No?
Speaker 1 (33:17):
I know, I know idea.
Speaker 9 (33:21):
Hilla, I'm Alexis.
Speaker 8 (33:26):
I see the outside cast too. But guess what I
got two types of skunk. One's regular black with a
white trait. I call him Pappy, and the other one
comes from down Georgia. It's long here and right, it's
got spots.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
I call it cousin it Okay, all right, it's said
wild Animal Kingdom. Here it's animal Thunderdome. I thank you,
I gotta go. I'm done with you. I know you're
gonna pick the bills to win. I know about our bills.
Win by one thousand.
Speaker 5 (33:54):
Do it.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
Every week. We've got big bands, lame jokes of the week.
Man the wed Man, he's standing up. He's my life track.
Big Ben's laying jokes of the week for the rest
of the hour. We'll get to that and we will
do it.
Speaker 5 (34:13):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Mellor
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
Speaker 10 (34:29):
Malicia will tune in to listen. Polish it till it
listened to you, even to the best tshe on nothingnal.
Speaker 4 (34:51):
Flexus, the seven track, Oh here's a sorry seven.
Speaker 5 (35:00):
And background.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Disgusting Animals explains explains a lot. It is I Bill
Miller reminding you. The Ben Mallor Show podcast will be
up exclusively for your ears only, and only your ears.
You can get the podcast on the iHeartRadio app. It'll
be up shortly after we get done we've been here
all night. If you only heard part of the show
(35:26):
and you were listening with half an ear, go back
and listen to what you missed and you'll help support
the show. And all we need is a minute minute
or two. That's it, one or two minutes, and we
get credit for you listening, so help us out. We'd
love for you to listen to the whole show, but
I don't really care if you do or not, as
long as you listen to a couple of minutes.
Speaker 7 (35:41):
Let's get back to it with that blowbiating Benny Guy,
maybe Ben quit.
Speaker 1 (35:57):
Maybe Laranda forgot to play the open?
Speaker 9 (36:01):
Oh I'm kidding, you mean this one?
Speaker 5 (36:10):
Ben Knock knock?
Speaker 1 (36:13):
Who's there? Blame weed?
Speaker 5 (36:15):
Blame weed Who?
Speaker 1 (36:16):
It's Big Ben's lame joke of the week. Ah, here
we go, let's go. Weed Man? Are you there? Weed Man?
Speaker 8 (36:22):
Yeah? I love you?
Speaker 10 (36:23):
Ben?
Speaker 1 (36:23):
All right? Weed Man? Very nice? Here the years whining down?
Weed Man? What do you want for Christmas? Weed Man?
Speaker 8 (36:30):
Pardon me? Where I'm only by Breg Joe?
Speaker 1 (36:33):
Okay, all right, maybe Santo will get you been naughty
your nice this year? Weed Man? I'm like, yeah, but
how many times were you arrested this year. Really, I
think that it seemed like it was every other week.
All right, here we go Big Ben's lame jokes, Actual
jokes by actual listeners. You can send in for future shows.
Carav Benmallers show at gmail dot com. What's the difference
(36:56):
between Lizzo and NASCAR? NASCAR has plate restrictors. That's Gordon
in Tacoma. What happened at the same time Lizzo lost
three hundred pounds? What her tapeworm gained three hundred pounds?
That surfer Todd the comedian? Why did Lizzo turn down
(37:19):
a date? Was Zion Williamson? Why she doesn't date fat guys?
That's Tony in the Bay Area? How did how did
Lizzo make ten million dollars after losing weight?
Speaker 8 (37:32):
Wow?
Speaker 6 (37:32):
Wow?
Speaker 1 (37:33):
Well she sold her her onesie to Jeff Bezos as
a yacht cover. And that's that's oak Dog who sent
that one in? Thank you, old dog. What kind of
concert does Lizzo lead? What kind an orc straw? That's
Chris in Whinoda, Minnesota. Figure that. What does Lizzo's bed have?
(37:58):
What a port? That's a buttermilk? Chavo sent that one in.
Why is Lizzo so inspired to help catch murderers? Why
because she gets to go to McDonald's. Yeah, that's a
Kurt from Earth. Yeah you see wee man that caught
that guy who killed the insurance guy allegedly eating hash
browns at the McDonald's in Pennsylvania. He was sad hash browns.
(38:22):
Yeah crazy? What a way to have your final meal
as a free person? Possibly Big Ben's lame jokes of
the week. What is a weed man happy meal? What
a roach to smoke and a roach to snack? Tony
Tony in the Bay Area? There? Did you hear that
(38:42):
Doc Mike got fired from his job at the drug
testing lab?
Speaker 5 (38:48):
Who?
Speaker 1 (38:49):
Yeah, he was drinking on the job. It was unfortunate,
you know. Looking, what do you call a crazy weed man?
What a whack jobs Kurt from Earth there? All right?
Who else do we have? Page Dad? What happened when
weed Man went to get his Obama phone? What they
(39:13):
said in order to qualify they needed a blood urine
and stool stample. So weed Man just took off his
underwear and left him. That's a monkey bone set that
one in. It's Big Ben's monkey bone in Yelm Washington.
Thank you monkey bone Big Ben's lamb Jokes in the Week.
A Blair in Maine asked his dad if he can
(39:33):
grow up to have a sports gambling addiction like his
old man. You know what his dad said, weed man?
What you bet?
Speaker 8 (39:44):
What is?
Speaker 5 (39:44):
What is?
Speaker 8 (39:45):
That?
Speaker 1 (39:45):
Was some len What is Angry Bill's least favorite TV channel?
What that would be Friendly TV? That's Eric in Ken's
What is Real Talk's favorite part of New Year's Eve?
What the fireworks? But Erican kanj just set that one
in Big Band's lame Jokes of the Week. All right, uh,
(40:07):
you know what for Angry Bill got Angry Bill three
dog Night is not a seventies band, weed man, it's
it's the best night he's ever had in tea one
of us Johnny Youngstown, OHI fag you weed Man, Lame
jokes of the Week. There he goes
Here we go. Welcome playing Rock Scissors paper here in
our number three of the original Recipe podcast. We start
out this hour in Jerry's world. What's the lesson from
Jerry Jones Cowboys being the world's most valuable sports team
for the ninth straight bleep in year. Also Aaron Rogers.
(00:23):
Aaron Rodgers says the Jets may be plagued by some
sort of curse. What's your reactionhan to this? And Bear's
quarterback Caleb Williams asked his teammates how to prepare for
all this losing in Chicago? Where do you stand on that?
As well? We'll get to all of it and much
more right now, opening up a big can of worms.
(00:44):
It's our number three and lame jokes. It's getting spicy
in here. It's getting spicy. A voice in my head
tells me, I have many voices in my head, well, goum.
In the beginning another hour of the Ben Malors Show,
we are.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
In the air, amyere slithering through the late night hours
as we guide you through those shadows of darkness coast
to coast, border to voter and beyond on the.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Vast and rolicingly powerful microphones of FSR amminating live from
the Zone, the fun Zone of the Overnight. We're broadcasting
live from the tyrack dot com studios. Tyract dot com
will help you get there an unmatched selection, fast free shipping,
free road hazard protection, and over ten thousand recommended installers
(01:44):
tyraq dot com The Way the Tire Buying SHOWB I
know Kelly formerly known as Donut Kelly in do I
say she's still in Nashville. I feel like she's in
Des MOINESW. I feel like she's living in Iowa. Now
she's not living in na for anymore. I feel like
she's with She's with Shane, so that's where they are.
I don't know anyway likes the number ten thousand. They
(02:07):
both like the number ten thousand. So our lead this
hour is not not from the Ram forty nine er
game A Battle of the Kickers. The Rams won that game.
We did have something that doesn't happen every day in
the NFL. A player literally quit on his team for
the forty nine ers. How bad are things? How bad
(02:28):
are things for the forty nine ers? What are the
players literally said, I can't handle this anymore, I'm leaving.
How many people are writing right now it's probably already
on the internet. You shouldn't make fun of the guy,
you know, he's probably going through a lot and all
that stuff. Yeah, that's the world we're living in right now.
But I live in the world. I guess I'm old school.
You know, you have a job to do. You finish
the job. You don't quit in the middle of the job.
(02:49):
But you know, I guess I'm dated that way. I'm
an I quit anyway. Our lead this hour is from
the business world, if you will. Business, that's right, the
sports business world. Tis the time of the year when
franchise values are announced. Boy, do I look forward to
this May? And do I look for this? So it's
(03:10):
a right of passage in December. So I don't know
if you saw this or not. Maybe not. The people
over at Forbes they're in a battle with Sportico and
a couple of other operations that do sports business. But
Forbes has been doing it longer than anybody. And so
Forbes released their annual list of the most valuable teams
(03:34):
in sports, and the NFL was the featured vehicle, if
you will, And the team that was at the very top,
the team that was number that would be that Dallas Cowboys.
That Dallas Cowboys. Cowboys on top for the ninth straight year,
(03:56):
the ninth straight year. And they are like secretariat running
away from everyone else. They have separated themselves from the
field in the industrial complex of professional sports. Now they
give you some perspective here. Jerry Jones, way back in
nineteen eighty nine, the Bronze Age, Jerry Jones bought the
(04:18):
Cowboys for a record one hundred and forty million dollars.
People said, are you out of your bloody mind? This
oil guy from Arkansas paying one hundred and forty million
dollars for an NFL team? And the Cowboys were not
very good at that time. Tom Landry was the coach
and he was one thousand years old, and he had
all those hats and all that. Anyway, so Jerry Jones
(04:41):
bought the team. The franchise value now ten point one billion.
Let me repeat that for those of you a little slow,
because it's late at night, early in the morning, probably distracted.
I'm gonna make sure that j DeVito, the trash man
in Boston, knows ten point one billion for the Cowboys.
(05:06):
That's how much they're worth, according to Forbes. Now that
figure is up twelve percent year to year, and that
makes the Cowboys the first franchise in any sport to
hit eleven digits. I can't even count that high. Eleven
digits for the Dallas football team. That is global domination,
(05:29):
global domination. All right, now, so let us discuss the
question what is the lesson? What do you think the lesson
is from Jerry Jones Cowboys being the world's most valuable
sports team for the ninth consecutive year. So I have
Zen Master, Star Trek and Burger King, and we will
(05:52):
combine those things that have never been mentioned in the
same paragraph, will combine them all together and give you
immense knowledge unless we don't. All right, So, first of all,
there is no correlation causation thing going on here between
winning and franchise value. Jerry Jones has not won a
(06:17):
Super Bowl as the GM and owner of the Dallas
Cowboys since the day's back before YouTube, before Instagram and
TikTok and even MySpace wasn't around when the Cowboys were
in the Super Bowl last and won the Super Bowl
with Troy Aikman and Emmitt Smith and Mike Irvin and
(06:38):
our friend James Washington. All right, part of the FSR
Alumni Association. But back in those days when the last
time they won, Netscape Navigator was a thing and AOL
dial up Internet was how people consumed the Internet. It
was very archic, as you might imagine. And while many
are convinced that Jerry Jones in modern football is in
(07:02):
absolute failure, we go find him all the time. He
does seem like he's he's losing it a little bit,
doesn't have the gusto that he once done, once did.
But in the business of sport, in the business of sport,
Jerry Jones, in his mind is the zen master of football.
Move over Phil Jackson. The Dallas Cowboys, if you just
(07:25):
look at it as a business, and you don't look
at it like many people do, as a community trust
and that you're representing the community and it's part of
the arts if you will, like that's a badge of pride.
But the Cowboys have fans all over the country, not
just in Dallas and not just in Texas. But in
the mind of Jerry Jones, this is a juggernaut. Forget
(07:47):
the Lombardi. The Dallas Cowboys have not one, not two,
not three, not four, not five, not six, not seven,
not eight nine straight Forbes trophies. Now that is a portfolio.
A famous broadcaster for the New York Yankees back in
the day, John Sterling told me on my podcast one time.
He said, Ben, the most important thing is to sell
(08:11):
the soap. He told me that John Sterling and Jerry
Jones sells a lot of soap. He sells all kinds
of soap, He sells shampoo, he sells bar soap, you
name it. And he has this Bengali effect on the
Cowboy fan where the Cowboy fan they're like an abusive relationship.
(08:32):
They know that Jerry's gonna f them over, they know
the team's gonna blow in the end, and yet every
year it's the circle of the Cowboys. They get convinced. Now,
this year was a little different. They did not go
out and add a sexy free agent or get a
high draft pick that really turned things in their favor.
But still people continue to be brainwashed. Year after year.
(08:55):
The Dallas Cowboy fan base makes the pilgrimage to Jerry World,
and in Jerry's world, old they fork over with no
gun to their head, no knife to their throat. They
fork over their hard earned money on all kinds of
merchandise and Cowboy paraphernalia and tickets and all that stuff.
And the fact that the Cowboys are at ten point
one billion, that is two and a half billion dollars
(09:15):
ahead of number two. You know who's number two? You
know who's second? Who do you think it is? You
think it's like the Jets of the Giants, right, because
they're in a New y No, you think it's Kansas
City because the Mahomes and Andy Reid and the Chiefs
are in the Super Bowl. Every you know, how about
a team that many of you have told me has
(09:37):
no fan base, a team that doesn't belong The Lams,
the La Rams are number two. And if you check
this out, it's fun with numbers. So the Cowboys are
at ten point one billion according to Forbes their valuation.
They're two and a half billion dollars ahead of the
Rams who are in second place, and more than double
(09:59):
that of eleven other NFL teams. The Cowboys are more
worth more than twice as much over that of eleven
NFL teams. So in the NFL is one of those
idiot proof businesses. It's one of those idiot proof businesses. Now,
what's the evidence of this? The Cincinnati Bengals are the
(10:20):
least valuable franchise in the NFL. According to Forbes, they
are worth four billion. So imagine, if you will, you
are a poverty property franchise, your poverty franchise, and you're
worth four billion. What in the weld as Jackie Slander was,
what in the world? Four billion? Four billion? And they're
(10:44):
the lowest value team in the National Football League? All right, Now,
secondly we move to our daily obligatory Aaron Rogers Aaron
Rodgers update. Aaron Rodgers has said now that the Jets
may be plagued by some sort of curse. Videot eleven.
Aaron Rodgers says the Jets may be plagued by some
sort of curse. What is your reaction? So? I had
(11:08):
a cheshire cat smile from ear to ear when I
saw this. There is no scientific evidence that curses are real. However,
much like tinker Bell, if enough people think tinker Bell
is real, tinker Bell is real. So if enough people
think of curse is real, it becomes real. But I
did chuckle this and here's why. Because Aaron Rodgers is
(11:32):
going full star trek. He's turning on those deflector shields
right now to protect against space debris and enemy attacks.
That's what he's doing because Aaron Rodgers has been a
miserable failure this season for Gang Green considering what the
expectations were, and so he's using this Star Wars Star
(11:53):
Trek rather. I think those are also in Star Wars.
But I'll use Star Trek the Deflector shields. And he's
blaming the curse. It's not me. It's not me. It's
just taking responsibility and saying I'm not good, I'm old,
i can't play anymore. I'm washed up. Instead, it's like, no, no,
we're just cursed. It's like the Wright brothers put a
curse on us because we named the team the Jets,
(12:14):
and that's mocking flying and so they're goofing on us.
All right, final thought, we headed uh Chicago, where the
pizza is good and the sports are bad. And rookie
quarterback Caleb Williams revealed this week that he sought counsel
from some of his veteran teammates. Now, the council was
on how to handle the L word loseing. Yeah, losing
(12:40):
Bears have done a lot of that now, Cala Williams
rookie quarterback Chicago Bears asked his teammates how to properly
prepare for all of this losing, how to handle it?
Where do you stand on this one? So I have
the perfect answer for this. This is a burger King story.
(13:00):
Now you know why it's a burger King story. It
is a whopper of a story, right, because it's one
of those things where it's like, hey, it ain't me,
the team sucks kind of thing. That's the vibe. I God,
am I wrong? Do you agree with that? When I
saw Killer was doing the woe as me and I
know I talked to my teammates. I'm trying to figure
out how to process all this losing. There's also a
(13:22):
tremendous lack of accountability. Now I understand that there's a
lot of low information fans maybe you're one of them,
and lower information fans. Look at the numbers that Caleb
Williams has been great, the Bears are good in spite
of Caleb Wibbs, and it's not right. And I don't understand,
like you shouldn't say anything bad about Caleb Wibbs. Looking
the numbers, Tell me you don't know ball right, Tell
(13:46):
me you don't know ball. The real ones they know
the truth. The real ones know the truth here and KILEB.
Williams has a lot of Dak Prescott vibes in him.
He has mastered the art of stat patty. He's on
his way to becoming a verified, signified stat bandito he is. Now,
(14:10):
what is my evidence? This season? If you look at
the numbers, overall, Caleb Williams has sixteen touchdowns and six interceptions,
so plus ten touchdowns to interceptions. But is it true
that over sixty percent of his success is come in
(14:32):
garbage time? That Caleb Williams in lopsided games, games where
the Chicago Bears are either up or down by three
scores the definition of garbage time, that Caleb Williams has
ten touchdowns, ten touchdowns, and only one interception in those situations.
(14:55):
But when the game is either tied or close, when
the game is within the margins, Caleb Williams has just
six touchdowns and five interceptions. Look it up, pal, I'm
not making it up. So here's the guys I'm trying
to deal with losing. Well, how about you play better?
How about you don't suck when the game's close, And
(15:18):
then maybe the Bears will win a few more games.
How about that? Now, I understand you can fool the
dumb people, and you're doing that. There's a lot of
dumb people that think Caleb's having an amazing year. But again,
that is the mother of all stats. Cayleb Williams has
ten touchdowns and one interception in games that are lopsided, lopsided,
(15:38):
multiple score games. Caleb Williams my god. Anyway, it is
the Ben Malord Show. If you want to comment on
any of that, you can join us here. It is
a calling show. Call has been good tonight and we
appreciate that.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
Eight seven, seven ninety nine on Fox eight seven seven
nine nine six six three sixty nine if you'd like
to be part also on x X marks the Spot.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
It's the advantage you have listening to the live show
at Ben Mallard. That's at Ben Mallard. But if you
don't like the live show, why are you listening now? No,
I'm kidding. We also have the podcast, which will be
up later. You can listen to the on demand version
of the show with limited limited commercial interruption. I know,
shocking time now for a fan favorite berg Dog. I
(16:26):
know you're excited, Alf calm down og Art puff and
I see over there econ Roseville, Minnesota. Yep, I know,
I know. Time now for the Mallar Riddle of the day.
And here's the Mallard Riddle of the day. Many people
are shocked and have been shocked to learn that Carolina
Panther rookie wide receiver Xavier Leggatt eight blank on Thanksgiving. Again,
(16:53):
people absolutely shocked to learn that the Carolina Panthers rookie
wide receiver Xavier Lega eight blank on Thanksgiving. That is
the mailor really love to day the answer. We'll get
to it and we will do it.
Speaker 4 (17:12):
Next.
Speaker 5 (17:13):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Mallor
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 6 (17:27):
Phillis Navi Dot, Come baby, please snave do PHELEI Snavid
Phileasnavi dot at least navides, at least staved.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Show.
Speaker 7 (17:51):
I want to wish you a Melor Christmas.
Speaker 8 (17:55):
I want to you a.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
Mal Miller Christmas. Mat back out by the It is
I Bill Miller, your voiceover experts, just like Mike Row
A lot of voiceovers and this is much like Mike
Row a dirty job. This job is not that easy.
(18:18):
A reminder that you can promote the Ben Mahler Show
on that's right on social media. Let people know about
the program, spread the gospel. Also follow the show on
the various social media channels. Now during the live show,
it's on x at Ben Mahller FSR Tech Queen for
(18:38):
the Rain and a Bronco fan for Cooplelo. But you
also have the Facebook page and there'll be a new
video up from the every week. Every Friday, there's a
new video has been pathetically have you seen this TV show?
How much that show sucks? Penning versus the Penning My god,
terrible show. But you can hear him and watch him
pathetically promote that show on on the Facebook page Ben
(19:01):
Maler Show and also on Instagram, Ben Mahler on Fox
Now also on Blue Sky as he tries to get
someone to watch that TV show. But let's get back
to the radio show right now, Bill, you did not
the TV show. First of all, the TV show didn't suck.
That's number one, and that video is going to be amazing.
(19:21):
As we have figured out the back lot at Universal Studio.
It only took us two years to figure out where
we need to go. Like, we were walking around the
studios and stuff, and it was cool, it was fine whatever.
I mean, every once in a while THEYD be a
cool movie or TV show that they were filming. But
in the very back there's this whole like downtown CD
block stuff where they've filmed so many of your favorite
(19:44):
movies and TV shows and we have free reign to
like walk around and check it out to promote the
TV show. And so it's pretty far from where we
do our little studio where we do Benny Versus the Penny.
But we we walk, and we walk because it's worth
the walk. It's worth the walk. It's it's awesome and
(20:04):
it's it's so great because you go down there in
this massive brick. We walked down there, there was this
little park, beautiful church, and so we're like, let's walk
in there. Let's see what this beautiful church looks like.
And it's it's completely empty. There's just a couple of
lights and some trash in there because they don't they
weren't filming anything, so they didn't need to put any
(20:25):
in there. It was just it's pretty cool anyway. Benny
versus the penny will be back even though Bill Miller
ripped it. Bad job by him got to pay off
the mallor riddle of the day. And here is the
mallor riddle of the day. People seem to be shocked
when they learned that Carolina Panthers wide receiver Xavier Leggett
eight blank on Thanksgiving. They're like, whoa, what is that?
(20:49):
I can't believe it did now, Dad, boy Malcolm got
this right. I'm stunned that anyone got this right. Bad job,
but you must have cheated, although you do have a
Southern advantage, that boy, Malcolm, he said, you said that's
the key there. Kelly, formerly known as Donut Kelly said,
high end sushi is the answer. Ricardo. It's a very
(21:11):
funny answer, Ricardo. I don't think we're allowed to say
that on the air, but Ricardo's a big fan of
the took us. Who else do I think I'm good?
JT the Wingman says he ate the Ben Mallard chicken
fingers the landing in Liberty, Missouri, just like JT the
Wingman has. Chris from Kentucky says he ate the Carolina
(21:34):
receiver ate Lamb Fries lamb fries. Who else do we have?
Slug in Vegas, said the old the old ninety sixer
is the answer. He ate little Debbie Christmas tree cakes
from Robin Miss. Who do we need to thank? Lorena?
Somebody sent us a bunch of like a gift package
the other day. Who was it? Do we have the
(21:55):
name there, Lorena? We need to thank someone? No, we
don't have the name. We don't have knows the name.
I don't know. It wasn't the sent to me I
would have I would have.
Speaker 4 (22:04):
Given you was Rob in Kansas City.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Oh Rob, thank you Rob, God bless you. Thank you Rob.
Very kind of you. A nice gift package. Uh so
I appreciate that a lot of sugar and uh and
it's I haven't gotten through most of it. Milkman Mike
at Colorado says a Doc Mike signature flavored yellow icy
from the doc. Who else do you? I have? Inca
tears in Kansas City? Oh Bill? Oh Coop?
Speaker 4 (22:31):
I just I just read a tweet from Rob in Minnesota.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
Sobot, Coop. You know, the most important sound is someone's
their their own name, right. The most important sound to
people is there is their name.
Speaker 4 (22:46):
And we've said it out loud and I was like,
that's not right.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
So it's Bill right.
Speaker 4 (22:51):
We have Bill Bill in Kansas City.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
Bill, I humbly apologize on behalf of Justin Cooper and
the Ben Mather Show for this injustice. It's a bad
job by the show. Heads are going to roll, heads
are going to row roll Inger terror New York, says
the Carolina Panther Player eight. The Philadelphia Championship delicacy of Horsepooh,
but that was what they ate. Who else? Donkey Sausage said,
(23:15):
wrestling turnbuckle pads like the idol George the Animal Steel
rest in peace. I met him, good dude. Who else
do we have page down? I can't read that? There
you go the Russian kids, said Ben, because Lorraine is
so beautiful. I just went through six of your podcasts
for just a second, like Bill Miller suggested, well, thank you. Yeah,
(23:37):
all we needs one minute for each podcast. You know
two minutes would be even better, but we just need
one minute. Who else do we have page down? Malo
prop guy said, pootine is the is the answer. I
see what you did there. Human meat Wow from courtesy Flusher.
A bagel flavored mac and cheese from King Roy. This
(23:58):
is some good answers. The grill sergeant is thing live
and says the answer to the riddle, Uh, he ate
the first ever order of the mallard fish and chips.
Let me tell you right now, grill sergeant, there is
no fish item, and I'm usually against it, but beer
battered fish and chips. I'm in if some restaurant, mom
and pop restaurant, if some restaurant, I'm in right, we
(24:18):
could have like a whole mallard part of the menu.
What what dish would you like, Loraina?
Speaker 9 (24:21):
I want fish and chips?
Speaker 1 (24:22):
Ben No, No, I'm saying with your name on it?
Who cares about that? With your name on it? What
do you think? Lorraina is? Uh? What would ryme? What
kind of flow with that? Linguini? Loraina?
Speaker 8 (24:34):
Is you know that?
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Yeah? That doesn't sound good?
Speaker 10 (24:37):
Now?
Speaker 1 (24:38):
All right? Wow? All right? Who else do we have?
Page down? I can't read that Rocky Mountain Oysters, Chris
and Kent Washington? Uh? I had that? Yeah, gafilter fish.
Oh god, that's disgusting. Mister Niska. Who wants to eat that? Man? Horrible?
Because I had to chew the testicles the gafilter fish
a manatee from late night drug tester. Who else do
we have? Ferg Dog says he eat crow just like
(25:01):
mister nice guy is now after he after you schooled him. Ben,
that's right, that's right, all right? Do you have an answer?
Do you have answer? All right? Ocho Texta, by the way,
says Malcolm got it right because it was talked about earlier.
I guess somewhere in Houston, do you have an answer?
Speaker 9 (25:17):
I don't know if you've had this, all right, but
he probably had ballute?
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Is that a fish?
Speaker 4 (25:24):
No, it's the like I want to know what that is.
Speaker 9 (25:26):
It's the like if you had an egg and you
actually let the chicken fertilize and then you eat the embryo.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
Yeah, you eat the embryo on the egg.
Speaker 9 (25:35):
Is that it is?
Speaker 8 (25:36):
That what he had.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
To go to radio jail.
Speaker 7 (25:45):
That's terrible.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Oh my god, that's horrible. No the answer. People seem
to be shocked to have learned that Carolina Panthers wide
receiver Xavier legged at Thanksgiving. He ate raccoon. He ate raccoon?
Some face. Yeah, he's a Southern boy. Do some South?
Well you do? I guess if you cook it well enough.
He said it's got its own taste. He said, it
(26:08):
doesn't taste like chicken. Would you ever eat raccoon? Would
you ever have that?
Speaker 4 (26:12):
I don't know if I would know.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
What is the proper way? I bet you, sir scratch
offs eating raccoon.
Speaker 9 (26:19):
I want to grill it on a stick because I
feel like if I was, like, if I was cooking it,
it's because it was a survival mode type thing, so
I'd probably skewer it and cook it all.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Well, it's like the Donner Party, right, they had to
eat human flats Dahmer. No, the Dahmer just did it
because he was hungry in Wisconsin. But he did go
to Ohio State. Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer went
to Ohio. They don't promote that for some reason. I
don't know why they don't promote that he went to
Ohio State. It's very odd. I'm guessing pen might not
(26:52):
promote that. This guy that killed the insurance guy went
to Pen also, probably right, they probably won't promote it.
Definitely not keep that on the down low. Doesn't help
people send donations into the school. Generally speaking, Yeah, well,
you can eat anything if you cook it long enough, right,
Is that true? I think so?
Speaker 9 (27:13):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, as long as you kill all the
bacteria out of it.
Speaker 4 (27:17):
Yeah, but it's more a texture thing.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Well yeah, but it's like I've done bits on the
on the Weekend the Fifth Hour podcast over the years
was it's like, why why do we not eat horse?
Because horses were valuable, we needed people needed horses to
get stuff around. They use them. But you could eat horse.
I mean there are people in Europe that eat horse,
and other places a lot.
Speaker 9 (27:39):
Of people eat horse.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Well.
Speaker 9 (27:42):
I was watching this video online Ben and all the
different like animals and how much we eat of them annually,
and I was shocked how high up on the list
horse was.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
Where was it like hi, like okay, thank you, yes.
Speaker 9 (28:02):
Like we're armadillo's at the bottom. Not a lot of
people eat armadillos.
Speaker 5 (28:07):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (28:07):
Horse was at the top.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
Not like cow.
Speaker 4 (28:11):
It's all like cow and chicken.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
Here's a here. You want a fun fact about raccoons?
You want you want to hear from the fun fact?
All right, fun fact? So, according to the Internet in
there is a town in Wisconsin, Delafield, Wisconsin, where they
every year they have an event a popular family event
since nineteen twenty eight where they eat the the is
(28:36):
it a rodent? Is that they're trash eating varmints? I
guess is what they are? Right, You're dirty and disgusting
and yeah, So in a town in Wisconsin, every year
they get together and they cook up the meat.
Speaker 9 (28:50):
So Coop is googling it.
Speaker 4 (28:53):
Yeah, what am I googling?
Speaker 9 (28:55):
Raccoon?
Speaker 4 (28:56):
No?
Speaker 1 (28:56):
No, in uh, there's a town in Wisconsin, Delafield was
Hanson where they have every year an event where they eat.
Speaker 4 (29:05):
The The trash eating raccoons are mammals.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
No, No, I didn't know.
Speaker 4 (29:13):
I know, but I was going back because you said
it like.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
That.
Speaker 4 (29:16):
No, he said, like ten seconds ago, we said, are
they rodent?
Speaker 1 (29:20):
No, I said, I changed it to varmit.
Speaker 4 (29:22):
I changed it.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
I went varmit. I learned that watching Mooney Tunes when
I was was a child.
Speaker 9 (29:29):
I learned that my grandma up in Oregon, we have
cat food that we leave out right to feed all
of her stray cats, and the raccoons always come up
and they are so hungry, and one time they came through.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
The cat or Oh it's unfortunate. Yeah, I've seen a
lot of of the the raccoons over the over the
years doing the overnight, driving around at night in the morning,
and they look at you like, I'll flash the lights
of them, and they look at me like what are
you doing? You know, I'm just trying to eat my trash.
Leave me alone. Why are you awake? You're a loser.
Speaker 9 (30:03):
They don't want to be disturbed.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
No, but they give me this like evil eye, and
I'm like, what do you like? Seriously, And one time
I saw there were like two of them that were
crossing the street, and so I flashed my lights at
them and they looked. They stopped in the middle of
the street, these two raccoons, and they looked at me
and they're like, what are you doing? Like this is
the funniest thing. I was like, it's just me. And
then there was no one else around, was like the
(30:25):
twilight zone, and they were looking at me and I
was like, uh, well, I'm trying to drive and you're
in the way, and they like looked at me like, no,
this is our time. This is our this is our time.
You humans go to bed and we're we're the ones
awake right now.
Speaker 9 (30:36):
Maybe you should have adopted them, Ben.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
I'm good. I'm good. Let's say hello to hollering James,
who's in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Hello, hollering James, James, James, James, James, James, James, James, James, James, hollering, James.
I think we got a sleeper. I think we've got
(31:01):
a sleeper.
Speaker 4 (31:04):
I'm worry if he's dead.
Speaker 9 (31:05):
Why is any breathing.
Speaker 4 (31:08):
I don't hear him.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
Breathing now, I don't hear anything. I hear the radio
in the background. James, Wake up, James, James, James, hollering James,
going once, going twice, going three times. Gone, Yeah, there
(31:30):
he goes. I think I heard a snore there. I
think it was. Let's say hello to Filexus, America's favorite
drag queen caller. Hello Flexus in Buffalo.
Speaker 4 (31:39):
Hello Dan.
Speaker 8 (31:41):
Believe it or not, this is a two and a
half hour of the show. Got two more hours to go,
but who cares anyway. Let me tell you something I
have eaten. Cool. It tastes like chicken.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
No no, no, This guy from the no no, the
guy from Carolina says it doesn't taste like chicken. You're lying, Well, no,
he did. When did you eat When did you eat raccoon?
When did you eat it?
Speaker 8 (32:05):
Oh God, that was like twenty years ago on it.
Maybe they changed.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
Why did you? Why did you? Why did you eat it?
Speaker 8 (32:13):
I was at a migrant worker points and drinking coalmade wine,
and I ate raccoon soup and I ate turtle soup.
And I've had horse.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
Horse. You he does know somebody, he's met a few.
But no, how did they? So they cooked it into
a They cooked it into a soup like I would
think if you know the raccoon, So I would think
if you were to make raccoon, you'd barbecue it and
(32:48):
you put sauce on it and then it would taste
like something else.
Speaker 8 (32:53):
You can you can do it into a sew. But what.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
Oh yeah? Fight well fried anything fried.
Speaker 8 (33:02):
You know, when you're following up and sticking in the
green and cooking the like you with fried chicken.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
Yeah? Sure, why not? You know? I am a ship
you know that, don't you?
Speaker 8 (33:17):
No?
Speaker 1 (33:17):
I know, I know idea.
Speaker 9 (33:21):
Hilla, I'm Alexis.
Speaker 8 (33:26):
I see the outside cast too. But guess what I
got two types of skunk. One's regular black with a
white trait. I call him Pappy, and the other one
comes from down Georgia. It's long here and right, it's
got spots.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
I call it cousin it Okay, all right, it's said
wild Animal Kingdom. Here it's animal Thunderdome. I thank you,
I gotta go. I'm done with you. I know you're
gonna pick the bills to win. I know about our bills.
Win by one thousand.
Speaker 5 (33:54):
Do it.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
Every week. We've got big bands, lame jokes of the week.
Man the wed Man, he's standing up. He's my life track.
Big Ben's laying jokes of the week for the rest
of the hour. We'll get to that and we will
do it.
Speaker 5 (34:13):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Mellor
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
Speaker 10 (34:29):
Malicia will tune in to listen. Polish it till it
listened to you, even to the best tshe on nothingnal.
Speaker 4 (34:51):
Flexus, the seven track, Oh here's a sorry seven.
Speaker 5 (35:00):
And background.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Disgusting Animals explains explains a lot. It is I Bill
Miller reminding you. The Ben Mallor Show podcast will be
up exclusively for your ears only, and only your ears.
You can get the podcast on the iHeartRadio app. It'll
be up shortly after we get done we've been here
all night. If you only heard part of the show
(35:26):
and you were listening with half an ear, go back
and listen to what you missed and you'll help support
the show. And all we need is a minute minute
or two. That's it, one or two minutes, and we
get credit for you listening, so help us out. We'd
love for you to listen to the whole show, but
I don't really care if you do or not, as
long as you listen to a couple of minutes.
Speaker 7 (35:41):
Let's get back to it with that blowbiating Benny Guy,
maybe Ben quit.
Speaker 1 (35:57):
Maybe Laranda forgot to play the open?
Speaker 9 (36:01):
Oh I'm kidding, you mean this one?
Speaker 5 (36:10):
Ben Knock knock?
Speaker 1 (36:13):
Who's there? Blame weed?
Speaker 5 (36:15):
Blame weed Who?
Speaker 1 (36:16):
It's Big Ben's lame joke of the week. Ah, here
we go, let's go. Weed Man? Are you there? Weed Man?
Speaker 8 (36:22):
Yeah? I love you?
Speaker 10 (36:23):
Ben?
Speaker 1 (36:23):
All right? Weed Man? Very nice? Here the years whining down?
Weed Man? What do you want for Christmas? Weed Man?
Speaker 8 (36:30):
Pardon me? Where I'm only by Breg Joe?
Speaker 1 (36:33):
Okay, all right, maybe Santo will get you been naughty
your nice this year? Weed Man? I'm like, yeah, but
how many times were you arrested this year. Really, I
think that it seemed like it was every other week.
All right, here we go Big Ben's lame jokes, Actual
jokes by actual listeners. You can send in for future shows.
Carav Benmallers show at gmail dot com. What's the difference
(36:56):
between Lizzo and NASCAR? NASCAR has plate restrictors. That's Gordon
in Tacoma. What happened at the same time Lizzo lost
three hundred pounds? What her tapeworm gained three hundred pounds?
That surfer Todd the comedian? Why did Lizzo turn down
(37:19):
a date? Was Zion Williamson? Why she doesn't date fat guys?
That's Tony in the Bay Area? How did how did
Lizzo make ten million dollars after losing weight?
Speaker 8 (37:32):
Wow?
Speaker 6 (37:32):
Wow?
Speaker 1 (37:33):
Well she sold her her onesie to Jeff Bezos as
a yacht cover. And that's that's oak Dog who sent
that one in? Thank you, old dog. What kind of
concert does Lizzo lead? What kind an orc straw? That's
Chris in Whinoda, Minnesota. Figure that. What does Lizzo's bed have?
(37:58):
What a port? That's a buttermilk? Chavo sent that one in.
Why is Lizzo so inspired to help catch murderers? Why
because she gets to go to McDonald's. Yeah, that's a
Kurt from Earth. Yeah you see wee man that caught
that guy who killed the insurance guy allegedly eating hash
browns at the McDonald's in Pennsylvania. He was sad hash browns.
(38:22):
Yeah crazy? What a way to have your final meal
as a free person? Possibly Big Ben's lame jokes of
the week. What is a weed man happy meal? What
a roach to smoke and a roach to snack? Tony
Tony in the Bay Area? There? Did you hear that
(38:42):
Doc Mike got fired from his job at the drug
testing lab?
Speaker 5 (38:48):
Who?
Speaker 1 (38:49):
Yeah, he was drinking on the job. It was unfortunate,
you know. Looking, what do you call a crazy weed man?
What a whack jobs Kurt from Earth there? All right?
Who else do we have? Page Dad? What happened when
weed Man went to get his Obama phone? What they
(39:13):
said in order to qualify they needed a blood urine
and stool stample. So weed Man just took off his
underwear and left him. That's a monkey bone set that
one in. It's Big Ben's monkey bone in Yelm Washington.
Thank you monkey bone Big Ben's lamb Jokes in the Week.
A Blair in Maine asked his dad if he can
(39:33):
grow up to have a sports gambling addiction like his
old man. You know what his dad said, weed man?
What you bet?
Speaker 8 (39:44):
What is?
Speaker 5 (39:44):
What is?
Speaker 8 (39:45):
That?
Speaker 1 (39:45):
Was some len What is Angry Bill's least favorite TV channel?
What that would be Friendly TV? That's Eric in Ken's
What is Real Talk's favorite part of New Year's Eve?
What the fireworks? But Erican kanj just set that one
in Big Band's lame Jokes of the Week. All right, uh,
(40:07):
you know what for Angry Bill got Angry Bill three
dog Night is not a seventies band, weed man, it's
it's the best night he's ever had in tea one
of us Johnny Youngstown, OHI fag you weed Man, Lame
jokes of the Week. There he goes
Host
Ben Maller
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