August 1, 2025 • 42 mins
Ben Maller talks about Bears QB Caleb Williams saying "pressure's not a thing for me," talk that Micah Parsons needs to be willing to sit out the year if he wants Jerry Jones to understand his value, the first glimpse of the NFL's new virtual measurement system, Lame Jokes of the Week, and more!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's a bear jamboree. Well, come in, it's our numb birth.
Three hour three is ready for me and it's ready
for you as we talk football this hour. We'll start
out in Chicago, where quarterback Caleb Williams says that pressure
is not a thing for me.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Please decode his message.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Also, there is this nugget floating around the Cowboys star
Micah Parsons. Some blowhard say that Parsons needs to be
willing to sit out the year if he wants Jerry
Jones to understand his value.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Is that good advice or a fool's errand And we.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Got our first glimpse of a major change to NFL
broadcast in NFL games starting this year, the implication or
implementation rather of the new virtual measurement system, which made
its debut and was a total dudge during the Hall
of Fame game. It was met with not very positive reviews.
What did you think of it? We'll talk about that
(01:02):
and much more right now here it is remember fifth
hour podcast today, but here it is our number three. Well,
it turns out those NFL quarterbacks, they say the darnedest things.
Welcome in the beginning of another hour of the Ben
Mahlar Show. We are in the air everywhere beside one another,
(01:27):
as we know, in the dark, we spark coast to coast,
porter the Bort and beyond on the vast andrologingly powerful
microphones of FSR emmating live from the track the warning
track of Sports Chat the Fox Sports Radio Studios, as
(01:51):
approved by Slim Tim the Cheese said. We hope Slim
Tim's doing okay. And this portion of the Ben Malar
Show for all all the marbles made possible in part
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Kathy and Madison knows, tire Iraq has been helping customers
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(02:12):
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The Way Tire Buying Show be I see Perito with
the thumbs up over there, and that's good. So later
(02:33):
this hour we're gonna have Big Ben's lame jokes a
week also, don't forget later today, in addition to this show,
we will have the Fifth Hour podcast exclusive information no
one else has. We've been waiting for it. We finally
got our answer this week. Very exciting stuff on the
Fifth Hour podcast, so check that out later today. But
(02:54):
our lead this hour is from Chicago. Now we mentioned
quarterbacks say the darnedest thing. They just say the darnedest things.
So interesting quote. We love to parse the words. We
love to parse the words. So we'll go to the
Windy City. And if you didn't see it, maybe not
playing the numbers racket if you will. The Bears went
(03:15):
five to twelve, which I'm told is not good. Last season,
they were run ragged, the Chicago Bears. They fell well
short of what many thought was going to be the
revival of a dormant franchise. And the quarterback there now
in his second year, Caleb Williams, the prodigy from Oklahoma
(03:37):
and sc So he popped on Chicago's sports radio and said,
when asked about pressure all that, he said, pressure is
not a thing for me.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
That's a quote quote, pressure is not a thing for me.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
He repeated a version of that multiple times. So that's
what's known as the money quote, and a really good
jumping off point to have some conversation.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
So that's what we're gonna do right now.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
So let us discuss the question the Chicago Bears quarterback
Caleb Williams saying pressure is not a thing for me.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
All right, can you decode? Can you decode that message?
Speaker 1 (04:20):
So I've got emergency room, Amtrak, and Microsoft Excel, and
we'll combine all of these things together and we're gonna
make the gobaol. We're gonna make the gobbagouls what we're
gonna do. So we'll do that for our friend in Florida. So,
first of all, when you hear that quote, you hear
(04:41):
that quote, pressure is not a thing for me, and
you're like, well, that must be fake as well.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
No he said it.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
And then you're like, okay, so he doesn't get it
to me, that's a red flag to me, that's a
red flag. He's basically telling Caleb Williams. He's telling the
Bears fans, Yeah, don't expect much. You know, don't expect much.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Now, if you really care about the Bears, that should
give you a heartburn.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
It should, right if you your g man's or your
feme or Eugene in Chicago. To quote the Great Mark
Twain denial ain't just a river in Egypt, right, He's
acting like pressures beneath him or something like that. Now
that is his mindset. The bar is staying lo.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Lo lo lo lo lo. Pressure comes with the gig.
It's like the It's akin to if.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
You're a trauma surgeon in an emergency room saying, well,
you know, blood's not not really.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
A thing for me. I don't really do blood. Okay, okay,
what kind of is you know? It's kind of part
of the deal in this case. You're the quarterback.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
You're supposed to be the adult in the room with
your painted nails. It's just the mentality is rather soft,
it is right, It's not something where you have much confidence.
And he's is he going to try to manifest wins
with crystals and essential oils and.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
All that stuff?
Speaker 1 (06:06):
And does he ever feel pressure? Does Kayleb Williams ever
feel pressure? Is there a moment maybe he goes down
to get his nails painted.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
They don't have the right color for him. Is that pressure?
I don't know. But pressure is a point of demarcation
and it is what separates the dudes who actually win
playoff games. They can compartmentalize, they can accept the pressure
and embrace the pressure. They don't ignore the pressure, right.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
And then there's the others that just collect stats and
garbage time, and against.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Bad teams they do very well.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
And that brings us to the real issue, the HeLa
monster in the room. Caleb Williams rookie season was full
of a lot of empty calories. There was a lot
of sizzle coming in, but not a lot of steak.
You know, the numbers, the touchdowns and the interceptions, they
were fine, but when did those touchdowns come right down?
(07:05):
Seventeen in the fourth quarter meaningless moments in the game.
And so the way I look at this, you can
sprinkle take some sprinkles, you know, the kind that you
would put on a cupcake, and you can take that
thing of pink sprinkles and you can put it on
a pile of dog crap and you can call it
(07:28):
a cupcake and say it's a delicious cupcake with the sprinkles.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
I'm not eating it now.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
You might want to eat it, but I don't want
to eat it all right now. Secondly, we move on
to Oxnard, in the beautiful Oxnard area that is where
the Dallas Cowboys are having.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Training camp and there's a.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Hot take artist that is floating around a theory that
the Cowboys defensive star Micah Parsons that he needs to
quote be willing to sit out the year in his
contract situation.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
He's at loggerheads with Jerry Jones.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
But in order to get Jerry Jones to understand the
value of Micah Parsons. So is that good advice or
a fool's errand good advice or a fool's erin So
this is one of those things. Are you out of
your bloody mind? That is a delight? It is a
dingle buried delight, is what it is. What do we
(08:30):
always say? You never leave money on the table. You
always get your money. Now, you can't prove your worth
by sitting on a couch, eating ice cream and posting
on your phone cryptic Instagram stories and weird emojis about
a lion and all that stuff. That is a trip
on the Amtrak And it's not it's not your normal
(08:54):
Amtrak line. It's the crazy train on Amtrak right to Brokeville,
right right in Brokeville. Now, you try to sit out
of season some of the worst advice ever. You try
to sit out of season in Dallas under Jerry.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
I'm the GM, I'm the coach, I'm the spiritual leader
the Dallas Cowboys. Joan, let me tell you some right now.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
I will guarantee you that that man will draft three
players to replace you mid hold out and we'll turn
this into a docu series on Netflix. And nobody is
bigger than the star for the Cowboys.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Jerry's gonna say everyone's replaceable. That is true. Everyone's replaceable.
Everyone's replaceable.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
But we don't care how many sacks you had last season.
And here's another guy with a lot of empty numbers.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Nobody cares. The NFL doesn't care.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
And we know that Jerry, yet again loves the drama
O rama, and we highlight that on a daily basis.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Here we're talking about the Cowboys, and Jerry's been negotiating
with everybody.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
You know.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Jerry even negotiates with Father Time. Did you know that.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Yeah, he negotiates with Father Time every morning, and he wins.
So far, he's win winning. Now one day he's not
gonna win. Right now, he's winning, he is, so Parsons.
Any money that you lose, you're not.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Gonna get back.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
So if you did sit out, stuff, moves on the
train keeps moving. You're not a quarterback, You're a pass rusher.
You don't have that much lever.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
You be forgotten, like you know John Kittna, former Cowboy
quarterback forgotten or Zeke Elliott at the end when he.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Couldn't play anymore. All right, now, final fuck to television land.
We go the land of TV. So if you're watching,
and I don't know if you were not, I'm sure
the ratings were gonna be good because it's football.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
It's NFL football.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
So if you're watching the game last night the Chargers
and the Lions, the fifth string players for the Chargers played.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
The sixth string for the Lions, and the Chargers went
bot a bing, bought a boom. They won big. That's
not much of a talker.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
We did get our first glimpse of a major change
to NFL broadcast on that NBC broadcast last night as
the game began. The new the new virtual measurement system
that made its debut during the Hall of Fame game
early in the game, and it was absolutely slayed as
(11:28):
one of the worst things that has ever come to
an NFL television broadcast.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
So what did you think? What did you think.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
So I saw it, and then I saw the clip online.
I said, maybe I was a little dazed when I
was watching it. So I watched it again. I said, man,
that is a TCS situation, total clown show.
Speaker 4 (11:48):
Right.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
And here's another example of the NFL trying to fix
something that really wasn't broken.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
It wasn't broken. And we had mentioned that the chain gang.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
While technically they're still in the stadium, they're just there
for cosmetic reasons. And the chain gang, is it a
little primitive? Is it a throwback to the olden days?
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Yeah? Are they occasionally imprecise? Absolutely? However it added drama.
So if this is the new normal, you've got a
bunch of nerds in a van somewhere telling us that
the point of the football moved zero point zero zero
four yards and therefore first down like that, this is
(12:44):
a really big day for those that are like, trust
the science. You know that crowd, trust the science. This
is the science. It's the NFI. You know what it is.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
It's the NFL continuing to sanitize our game of football.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
And all of these sports leagues are doing it. They've
all been commandeered by groups that have agendas because they
know they can get a lot of money.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
And even though these people that on the NFL teams
are very wealthy, they're also pretty stupid and they'll buy anything.
And this is an example. It's like a lab experiment. Now,
back of the old days, football was a man's game, you.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Know, gritty gritty, and you practiced at crappy high schools.
You're traveled with coach travel.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
You didn't get treated like a king, and it was
just a mom and pop operation.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
It used to be more human.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
And what I saw in that Hall of Fame game,
it isn't even one game.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
We'll get used to it, it'll be all right.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
But it's like that was like watching a Microsoft Excel
spreadsheet decide one Like, it's not.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Not everything has to be perfect. It's not about everything
must be perfect. It's an only thing to say, well,
how are they going to manipulate that? What's the control factor?
Speaker 1 (14:12):
So they want to centralize the NFL, sanitized league approved outcome.
So we're supposed to believe that the NFL now has
perfect AI, that it's absolutely perfect, right, police, have you
seen some of this nonsense that AIS come up with.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
It's not perfect, It's absolutely not perfect.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
So listen, call me old fashioned whatever, but give me
two fat guys who are old dudes with the chain
and the polls at ten yards apart any day. That
new system, I'm telling you right now, and I'm screaming
from the top of the mountain.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
Is voodoo bugaloo. That's what it is.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
You're gonna have some playoff game decided by laser accuracy
did they.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Reach the line to gain?
Speaker 1 (15:03):
And no one will be able to verify it. It's
gonna screw some team in the postseason book it. And
that's when you know what.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Hits the fan.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
That's when the poo poo hits the fan fan, and
mark my words, a team that is perceived to get
calls like Kansas City or something like that will end
up getting the benefit of the doubt. And then it's
on right. And when that happens, because there's no one
to hold accountable, you can't really yell at a computer
(15:34):
or I guess you could, or a robot or whatever.
And you can't really throw a flag at whatever code
they're using. Now, the best part is that we're all
just supposed to sit here like sheep and just eat
it up.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
The broadcasters were just gushing. It was like, this is
the iPhone twenty five here it is.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
It's so precise, Oh my god, real time calculation that technolo. Now,
maybe the AI can also at the same time scan
the game ball for germs, because we.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Don't want any of.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Our football heroes to get sick, right, And how about.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Make sure there's no emotional trauma from those that have
touched the ball while they're at it. It's like it's
a freaking you're marking first down or not a first down. Now,
keep in mind, I understand it's never ever going back. Okay,
once the NFL rolls something like this out, it's done.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
And it is true that everyone's gonna get used to
it and all that stuff, but we're not gonna get
the chains back.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
The chains are not coming back. Now.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
The good news is, and if you want to have
a little bit of nostalgia, I'm almost positive if you
go over to NFL shop dot com, they will sell
you an old set of chains.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
You can be part of the Chain game Chain Gang.
If you want that, you be part of it. It
is the Ben Mahlor Show. You'll be part of this
show as well.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
At eight seven seven ninety nine, on Fox. That's eight seven, seven, nine, nine, six,
six three sixty nine. Also on ex at Ben Mahlor.
That's at Ben Mahlor. If you want to be part
of the show. They The next Malor Meet and greet
is on August twenty third in Las Vegas.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
We're gonna get together in Sin City. So let you
know more. We have exact that, an exact venue. We're
getting that put together.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
But our guy in Vegas slug making that happen, so
check that out coming up later this month.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Time.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
Now, though, for the Malor riddle of the day, and
here is the malor.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Riddle of the day.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
We'll go to a sport very popular here in sports radio.
A professional chess player.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Was eliminate was eliminated from a one point five million
dollar tournament after blank. Again, a professional chess player was
eliminated from a one point five million dollar tournament after blank. Now,
that is the Mallord riddle of the day. The answer,
(18:22):
We'll get to it, and we will do it next.
Speaker 5 (18:27):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 6 (18:36):
Hey, we're Cavino and Rich Fox Sports Radio every day
five to seven pm Eastern. But here's the thing. We
never have enough time to get to everything we want
to get.
Speaker 7 (18:45):
To, and that's why we have a brand new podcast
called over Promised. You see, we're having so much fun
in our two hour show. We never get to everything, honestly,
because this guy is over promising things we never have
time for. Yeah, you blobber li lame and me.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
Well, well you know what it's called over promise. You
should be good at it because you've been over promising
women for years.
Speaker 7 (19:04):
Well, it's a Covino and Rich after show, and we
want you to be a part of it. We're gonna
be talking sports, of course, but we're also gonna talk
life and relationships. And if Rich and I are arguing
about something or we didn't have enough time, it will
continue on our after show called over Promised.
Speaker 6 (19:17):
Well, if you don't get enough Covino and Rich, make
sure you check out over Promised and also Uncensored, by
the way, so maybe we'll go at it even a
little harder. It's gonna be the best after show podcast
of all time.
Speaker 7 (19:28):
There you go, over promising. Remember you could see it
on YouTube, but definitely join us. Listen over promised with
Covino and Rich on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or
wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 8 (19:39):
It's Ben Meller and the Two Night Lean He loved
the Clippers and get this Day Lean come home. Then
into your dou mo mode the ram.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Ben Mal Ben Melle.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
You don't have to listen, lend to enjoy malt. Oh yeah, militia.
Speaker 4 (20:09):
You are to know you should Oh when he open,
oh man, he.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
Just crys, oh man, that's not true. It's right, Bill Miller.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
You are locked in on the Ben Mallor show coming
up later this hour, Big Ben's lame jokes of the week.
We got your calls coming up here. Until then, don't
forget though. It is Friday, the first day of August.
A new episode of the Fifth Hour podcast and a big,
big update.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
Which you've all been waiting for. Well maybe not you,
but someone over there.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
Has been waiting for on Benny Versus the Petty Will there.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Bes Season three or will there not be?
Speaker 1 (20:49):
You'll find out on the Fifth Hour Podcast later today,
so check that out.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
It should be up early in the morning. Man, try
to get it up. Turn that thing around. Hopefully by
just an hour or so after this show.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
In the meantime, you can be part of the program
by saying hello on the phones eight seven seven ninety
nine on Fox. Also on ex at Ben Mahlor that's
at Ben Mahlor and Lorena FSR Tech Queen and Hooper
Loop Sailoh to Coop uh bronco fan. Your comments can
(21:26):
and we'll be used against you in the court of
sports radio.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
And now back to it.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
All right, well, so we'll play off the the malor
riddle of the day. Professional chess player was eliminated from
a one point five million dollar tournament after blank.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
All right, that is the question. What is the answer?
Speaker 1 (21:49):
I know you, you boys, you love your your your
your your chess. You can't get enough. You're like Ben,
I want more chess talk. I need more chess talking you.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
I said, what we'll do it. We'll do We'll talk
some chess because we are all about that action, all
about that action.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
So let's see, does anyone know the answer? We go
to the mighty powerful X Machine. Mala prop guy says,
getting ice cream all over the chess pieces, that would
be a problem. Bobby in Florida says, getting caught playing
hide the Bishop.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
Oh interesting, all right? What else do we have? Well,
I don't know, I don't know, just google it.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
Uh he was knuckle deep mining for gold, according to
the Milkman, Mike in Colorado, Alfi alien ol Piner says
after a dress code violation, uh, an index card from
King Rory after being connected to Gilbert Arenas from Keith,
(22:49):
we have a problem Oho text though, Big greg and Iowa,
one of our starting offensive linemen, says he was eliminated
for trying to use an illegal chess piece.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
All right.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
Fudgie in Boston says the answer is after he violently
whipped an opponent's bishop against the wall.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
I see what you guys are doing. I'm on you,
I'm on you. Ferg Dog says after he was caught
making out with the queen. There's a lot of good
puns with chess. What else?
Speaker 1 (23:17):
He was eliminated after his night mounted his king that
according to Andy in Lino Lakes, Minnesota, who else do
we have? Page Down using a serenite bomb on the
ice platform? Okay, that was from Asher page Down and
(23:38):
Robin Vegas says eliminated after attending the August twenty third
meet Ingreet.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
There you go. Oh of Robin Vegas.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
I guess he's gonna be there. Rob's a good dude.
Not as active on the show these days, but he's
still listening. Who else do we have?
Speaker 2 (23:52):
Page down? Can't read that on the air.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
See JT the wingman says, taking thirty six pills in
the morning and thirty six pills at night.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Oh, there's hollering James.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Look at that hollering James right there side by side
with me. Page down, Inca Terra says, after insulting fescas
and the swollen domes, he said, Okay, I see what
you're doing there in ka terror he burped a Britney
Spears song that's from Mark in Santa Monica.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
That's his answer. Who's your bill? Says he was suspended
for wearing wearing jeans. Wearing jeans?
Speaker 1 (24:29):
All right, Lorena, Time to pay off the Mallard riddle
of the day. Professional chess player was eliminated from a
one point five million dollar tournament after.
Speaker 5 (24:38):
Blank getting caught betting on a high risk chess game.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
Oh, here's gambling? Was he gambling? Was he a bad boy?
Speaker 6 (24:48):
No?
Speaker 1 (24:50):
It turns out the professional player this was in Riad,
Saudi Arabia at a one point five million dollar tournament.
He was eliminated because of a rogue mouse click. A
rogue mouse click, and that's.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
All she wrote.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
Remember Janet Jackson had the nip slip. This was the
mouse slip. Yeah, the mouse slip.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
And so saw the video.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
Yeah, this happened the other day. And you gotta be
careful with that mouse. So it's a problem.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
You'd be very careful. I believe.
Speaker 9 (25:24):
I believe he misclicked and like did a wrong move
and then just resigned, like, let me shame for that.
I mean, I imagine that the move was bad and
it was gonna be bad news for him anyway, but.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
It wasn't Saudi Arabia. They might cut his hand off
or something like that. Right, they would be careful.
Speaker 4 (25:42):
You don't.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
You don't upset anyone. There m'd be a problem.
Speaker 4 (25:46):
All right.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
Wait with that is the malor riddle of the day.
Let's get to the phones and let's see who do
we have here. I did see Hugh on the five
a little late with the answer, but he's listening. He's
checking in. Let's see here, by the way, we are
available on on the as I said the ex machine
at Ben mallor you can email the show Ben Malors
Show at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
It's Ben Malors Show at gmail dot com. If you
want to be part of the program. Let's see here.
My computer is a little slow.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
Here's Poppy there. I don't know. I have a is
not resetting the calls, So listen. Poppy in San Diego, Hello, Poppy.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
Hey, Ben Maller. I just want to say I love
the intro. How you you know, listen to your mentor
read that that intro was like fire, you know, I
loved it. I loved it. And second of all, I
just want to say, you know, congratulations and Benny versus
of Tenny, you't want to be the first one season
(26:47):
three Ben Maller.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Well, Poppy, I think you'll you'll enjoy the announcement today,
and I really would like to I would like.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
To credit you.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
I feel like in many ways you're responsible for the
news that I'm going to share later today.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
So thank you for that, Poppy.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
You're You've been a great inspiration here, so I really
want to thank you for that.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
And you'll be very happy with the news.
Speaker 3 (27:07):
Yes, yeah, And I'm really excited and happy for the
news and everyone listening to the podcast after this, well, listen,
we're gonna stay up. And that means Ben mallor for
you know that we're gonna be having Poppy versus Lorena
for season too. Right, I'm excited.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Let me check my notes here. I don't. I don't
see that on the notes.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
I don't. Oh yeah, well yeah, remember you.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
Didn't show up, Poppy. You were supposed to show up
every week and you just show up and well.
Speaker 3 (27:39):
Yeah, I already know what you're gonna say, Ben Mala.
But look, let me explain to you.
Speaker 4 (27:44):
Poppy is a hard worker.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
Maybe you know you're saying I didn't show up one week,
but I'm always gonna be there for season two. But
I was working in the morning all the way to
the night, like hard worker. You know, I'm a hard worker.
So you know, maybe you know for this time, but
I'm not there. We can have like a fake Poppy
like weed man, you know, like a fake weed man,
have a fake Poppy.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
So who would be a fake Poppy? Who do you
think would do a good fake poppy?
Speaker 3 (28:08):
I mean a fake poppy A man. A lot of
good callers out there that would do that. I mean man.
I don't know. Maybe uh, maybe someone I say blind
scoat on my mind or something like that.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
All right, hold on a sec, Hold on, blind Scott.
Can you do a fake Poppy voice? If Poppy came everybody, everybody,
it's Poppy.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
I haven't worked for the past month because I've been.
Speaker 10 (28:32):
Taking a pat of my car.
Speaker 3 (28:33):
I got the wheel off, I got my I got
my little loope here helping.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
All right? All right, wow, okay, all right, hold on
his poppy? How is that poppy? Do you like that?
It was that a good Is that a good feeling
for you?
Speaker 3 (28:45):
No?
Speaker 2 (28:46):
No, no, no, no, you're you're regretting. Wait wait wait, wait,
wait wait, who's talking right now? I don't know who
that was. I don't know. Both mines are up.
Speaker 9 (28:55):
I'm not sure who just said that.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
Oh that was me, That was me.
Speaker 9 (28:59):
That was That's a great one guy.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
All right? What about hollering James?
Speaker 1 (29:05):
You think James would be a good poppy? All right,
let me check with him. Hold on, hold on a sec.
Hollering James. Would you like to be the fill in
as the fake poppy? Hollering James?
Speaker 2 (29:29):
All right, well, the real Poppy stand up, Poppy? Did
you like that. Do you think hollowing James would be
a good poppy?
Speaker 3 (29:36):
Man? Man, I love that he made me love, he
made me.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
Laugh, Yeah, he made me he made me cry, he
made me cry.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Yeah? All right, So that are we gonna settle on
hollering James?
Speaker 3 (29:50):
Oh man, I would love to hear other people wandering
like a fake.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
All right, Let's see what Tony in the Bay Area? Tony,
would you like to be the fake poppy?
Speaker 2 (30:00):
The Bay Area?
Speaker 4 (30:02):
Aaron Rodgers looks like a gay?
Speaker 2 (30:03):
Whereas Waldo, what do you do that poppy? You think
that would be a good fake poppy?
Speaker 3 (30:14):
Oh? Man, I don't think that, all right?
Speaker 1 (30:18):
Apparently, how about Mike the leper gun? I see, Mike
the Leprechaun. Mike, would you like to be the fake poppy?
Mike the Leprechaun in the Boston area? Would you like
to be the fake poppy Mike the Leprechaun?
Speaker 3 (30:29):
I will, but don't put me off fold out to
her pop picks. I'm gonna pick the changers and and
like to then picks as annoying.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Okay, all right? U yeah, I mean you're going so good.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
We were three for three and then we had to
go for the fourth and then man, all right, sorry, Poppy.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
I guess it's gotta be hollering James.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
Yeah, I think hollering is in. I think Lep was
doing good.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
No, he was terrible, Mike, God, he sucked. I was terrible, right,
hang up on him. Let's go to hollering James. James, congratulations,
you won the Poppy soundlike contest.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
No, you didn't win a golden ticket.
Speaker 4 (31:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
I love the show.
Speaker 10 (31:23):
You got so many characters. But I haven't heard from
tell me about I did not follow the script. I
told earlier today that I don't back up. I called
right back. I couldn't get through the line was busy.
I didn't know what to do.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
You're a poet and you don't even know it.
Speaker 10 (31:41):
I'm a poet and trying to show for wors Loreena
or Brie.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
You don't even know what my name is, Brie. By
the way, I am Bri.
Speaker 4 (31:54):
No, I'm not my name.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
I changed my name debris.
Speaker 10 (31:57):
Oh did you? What did you do? The name change?
Speaker 2 (32:00):
As I got my two minutes ago?
Speaker 10 (32:03):
This over with.
Speaker 3 (32:05):
You?
Speaker 10 (32:05):
What my homelessness? When I was homeless? Remember I was
calling you from different places?
Speaker 2 (32:11):
Oh yeah, because he got kicked out of the Yeah, yeah, kicked.
Speaker 10 (32:14):
Out of the other one. Hey, will you play that
one song for me? Then by Jo Josh and the
other guy turns express of the work as the little
goals to it, and we get in the song.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
It's Coop care No, he stepped out. He stepped out.
Speaker 10 (32:32):
Oh, tell him he's gotta download the song, man, that's come.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
On, man, we need the song.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
Thirty six pills in the morning, thirty six pills.
Speaker 10 (32:40):
At night, and dude, tell me the bad time takes
a less All right? Oh better love your show?
Speaker 2 (32:51):
Oh there it is James. Look you want to sing?
Speaker 8 (32:53):
Sing James, Yeah in the morning.
Speaker 4 (33:15):
Not really following the lyrics.
Speaker 8 (33:20):
What did you expect, James, I'm gonna go see listen
to your shot?
Speaker 2 (33:28):
James, where do you have a cut? Did he forget
the words?
Speaker 1 (33:31):
Daddy?
Speaker 2 (33:31):
He once told me, James, you be sports calling man.
He fell asleep.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
You asked for the song, James.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
You gotta sing, James, come on, just mumbling.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
All right, I got I gotta go, I gotta go.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
Thank you? Is weed man? There by the way? Do
we have weed man? Is he ready for the job?
All right, We're gonna try to get a hold of
weed man, Hippie.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
He's my laugh track, and we're gonna have big bands
lame jokes of the week, Big Ben's lame jokes.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
Of the week. We'll get to that and we will
do it next.
Speaker 5 (34:15):
Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
Speaker 2 (34:21):
Bill Miller and you it is the Ben Maler Show.
And reminder, with the iHeart Radio app, you can stream
the Ben Mallor Show wherever you happen to be on
God's Green Earth. Catch us and all the other gas bags,
blow hards and know it alls that also have shows here.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
And talking to microphones of Fox Sports Radio. You do
it live twenty four to seven.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
We prove that we're the overnight part of that in
the new and improved iHeart Radio app.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
Just search Fox Sports Radio. In the app you can
stream us live all day, all night, every day, every night.
Be sure to select Fox Sports Radio, the Ben Maler
Show and the Fifth Hour Podcast a big time pot
cast today you're not gonna want to miss with news
on Betty Versus the Penny, so check that out, but
have those as some of your precess on the iHeartRadio
(35:08):
app but will always pop up at the very top
of your screen.
Speaker 5 (35:16):
Knock knock, who's there? Blame we blame we too. It's
Big Ben's lame joke of the week.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
Well, that is Big Ben's lame jokes.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
So we have the weed Man in the house in
the hissy there in Miami.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
Hello, weed Man, Yeah, I'm here.
Speaker 10 (35:31):
Then, I love you, big lad.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
All right, how's life weed been? Everything? Okay with you?
You're getting out, You're putting your feet on the grass
a little bit.
Speaker 5 (35:39):
Damn good.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
You don't leave your house at all, do you?
Speaker 3 (35:43):
Yeah, go out tires beautifuloud?
Speaker 2 (35:45):
Now okay, all right, good. So these are actual jokes
by well, yes, where you live there?
Speaker 1 (35:52):
Yeah, and you're not You're not living on Lincoln Road anymore?
Speaker 2 (35:58):
Correct. Yeah. Uh, you're not getting arrested every other week.
Speaker 4 (36:04):
Thank god, I got you.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
All right, Well, let's have some fun. Why not. Here
we go, And if you.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
Want to send jokes in for a future episode, send
them care of Benmathershow at gmail dot com.
Speaker 2 (36:16):
Make sure to put joke in the headline. That way
I can get through all.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
Of the spam emails Blind Scott sends me and find
your jokes.
Speaker 2 (36:25):
Anyway we go? Why did Ozzy Osbourne play baseball? Or
why didn't? Why didn't Ozzy Osbourne play baseball?
Speaker 5 (36:32):
Why?
Speaker 2 (36:33):
Well, nobody would give them bad? That's from Eke in Roseville, Minnesota.
How isn't holding from me? How bad is it is?
Speaker 1 (36:44):
The forest fire? The smoke from that forest fire from Manitoba.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
Entering the US?
Speaker 3 (36:51):
Wow? How bad?
Speaker 1 (36:53):
It's so bad that everyone's took us in Minnesota?
Speaker 2 (36:56):
Smells like Canadian bacon? All right, that's from Ike again.
Here's one from Noah in Austin.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
What do Parallel Lines and Blind Scott's next girlfriend have
in common? What they'll never meet?
Speaker 2 (37:21):
Why did? Why did the or not? Why did did
you hear?
Speaker 1 (37:24):
Did you hear the Malard Militia had a bagel flavored
a bagel flavor band at Panera? A bagel flavor was
banned by the Malad Militia at Panera?
Speaker 10 (37:36):
No I didn't hear that.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
Yeah, apparently no one can stand the poppy. They can't
stand it. That's Joe.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
What would your poppy? That was Joe and Virginia Beach?
What would your poppy impersonation be?
Speaker 2 (37:48):
Weed man?
Speaker 3 (37:52):
Bye day?
Speaker 4 (37:58):
All right?
Speaker 2 (37:58):
What are the angels?
Speaker 1 (37:59):
And keg drinking Steve's nightly blood alcohol level have in common.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
What they're both heading the five hundred. They're both heading
the five hundred. That's Eric Eric in Kansas. This one
from Tony in the Bay Area.
Speaker 1 (38:15):
Did you hear that David Vassat was traded for a
bag of crap and some knee pads?
Speaker 2 (38:21):
Yeah, they called it an even trade, That's what they
called it.
Speaker 5 (38:24):
There and.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
Big Bangs lame jokes a week. What's the difference between
Blind Scott and Marcel from Brooklyn?
Speaker 3 (38:34):
What?
Speaker 1 (38:36):
Well, actually nothing, They're both terrible callers. That's Mike the Leprechaun.
Speaker 2 (38:41):
What did Blind.
Speaker 1 (38:42):
Scott say when someone told them the Patriots will win
the Super Bowl next year?
Speaker 2 (38:47):
What he said?
Speaker 1 (38:48):
I can't see that happening. That's Eric in Kansas. Well,
some sad news. Did you hear that Shane and the
Moine walk into a field of days snowman?
Speaker 10 (39:01):
No?
Speaker 2 (39:02):
Yeah, apparently just turned out to be a huge carrot field.
But the same thing I don't Eric that was that
was a Noah red Noah in Austin Big Ben's lame
Jokes of the Week. These are actual jokes from actual listeners.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
Let's see here What kind of sauce does Eminem get
at Taco Bell? What kind eight eight mild?
Speaker 2 (39:24):
He likes eight mile?
Speaker 1 (39:27):
That's the very funny buttermilk tavo what talent show would
Holler and James dominate in?
Speaker 2 (39:36):
What the malor Poe snooze? Uh and said? Buttermilk tavo again,
Now we get to the good stuff.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
Why doesn't weed Man have a problem getting to sleep
when he's in jail? Why because he spent a lifetime
sleeping behind bars?
Speaker 2 (39:58):
And that's a surf Todd very funny man server topic comedian.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
Hopefully Sir for Todd will be able to make the
Mallard meet and Greek in Vegas.
Speaker 2 (40:07):
Weed Man, you're invited. We're gonna be in Vegas August
twenty third. Wee Man, make sure show up.
Speaker 1 (40:11):
But what did What did weed Man's son say when
weed Man told him someday you'll have a son of
your own?
Speaker 2 (40:21):
What he said, so will you? That's Eric in Kansas?
All right?
Speaker 4 (40:25):
How is.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
How is? How is weed Man? Hippie sex life? How
it comes and goes in spurts? That's a surfer Todd
yeah s topic comedian weed Man.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
Have you ever seen a nurse bird, No, me neither,
but angry Bill sees nurse birds daily.
Speaker 2 (40:52):
That's Tony. Now, how do you know?
Speaker 1 (40:58):
You're at weed Man's birthday party? There's no food, but
everyone has the munchies.
Speaker 2 (41:05):
That's Dan.
Speaker 1 (41:07):
In South in South Carolina. This one's from Tom and Indiana.
Did you hear that weed Man had a terrifying, terrifying
experience with the Obama phone the other day?
Speaker 3 (41:19):
No, what happened?
Speaker 2 (41:21):
Yeah? Apparently you actually punched up expresspros dot com and
they tried to give you a job and you freaked
out and you Tom Tom from Indiana, I heard you
weed Man found stir fry all over your bed?
Speaker 3 (41:40):
Wow?
Speaker 4 (41:41):
Really?
Speaker 3 (41:41):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (41:42):
Apparently you were sleep walking, is what you were doing.
You were sleep.
Speaker 1 (41:46):
Walking from Buttermilk, Chavo and last one George and Uvalde, Texas.
What do weed Man, hippie and Fox Sports radio producer
lead a Lap have in common.
Speaker 2 (41:59):
With the sim sins? What they all have itchy and
scratchy parts. Thank you, eat Man
It's a bear jamboree. Well, come in, it's our numb birth.
Three hour three is ready for me and it's ready
for you as we talk football this hour. We'll start
out in Chicago, where quarterback Caleb Williams says that pressure
is not a thing for me.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Please decode his message.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Also, there is this nugget floating around the Cowboys star
Micah Parsons. Some blowhard say that Parsons needs to be
willing to sit out the year if he wants Jerry
Jones to understand his value.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Is that good advice or a fool's errand And we.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Got our first glimpse of a major change to NFL
broadcast in NFL games starting this year, the implication or
implementation rather of the new virtual measurement system, which made
its debut and was a total dudge during the Hall
of Fame game. It was met with not very positive reviews.
What did you think of it? We'll talk about that
(01:02):
and much more right now here it is remember fifth
hour podcast today, but here it is our number three. Well,
it turns out those NFL quarterbacks, they say the darnedest things.
Welcome in the beginning of another hour of the Ben
Mahlar Show. We are in the air everywhere beside one another,
(01:27):
as we know, in the dark, we spark coast to coast,
porter the Bort and beyond on the vast andrologingly powerful
microphones of FSR emmating live from the track the warning
track of Sports Chat the Fox Sports Radio Studios, as
(01:51):
approved by Slim Tim the Cheese said. We hope Slim
Tim's doing okay. And this portion of the Ben Malar
Show for all all the marbles made possible in part
by our friends at ty Iraq. For over forty years,
Kathy and Madison knows, tire Iraq has been helping customers
find the right tires for how, what and where they drive,
(02:12):
ship fast and freedback by free road hazard protection as
the Fry Daddy and Pennsylvania Jonathan and Delaware No with
convenient installation options like mobile tire installation, tire raq dot Com,
The Way Tire Buying Show be I see Perito with
the thumbs up over there, and that's good. So later
(02:33):
this hour we're gonna have Big Ben's lame jokes a
week also, don't forget later today, in addition to this show,
we will have the Fifth Hour podcast exclusive information no
one else has. We've been waiting for it. We finally
got our answer this week. Very exciting stuff on the
Fifth Hour podcast, so check that out later today. But
(02:54):
our lead this hour is from Chicago. Now we mentioned
quarterbacks say the darnedest thing. They just say the darnedest things.
So interesting quote. We love to parse the words. We
love to parse the words. So we'll go to the
Windy City. And if you didn't see it, maybe not
playing the numbers racket if you will. The Bears went
(03:15):
five to twelve, which I'm told is not good. Last season,
they were run ragged, the Chicago Bears. They fell well
short of what many thought was going to be the
revival of a dormant franchise. And the quarterback there now
in his second year, Caleb Williams, the prodigy from Oklahoma
(03:37):
and sc So he popped on Chicago's sports radio and said,
when asked about pressure all that, he said, pressure is
not a thing for me.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
That's a quote quote, pressure is not a thing for me.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
He repeated a version of that multiple times. So that's
what's known as the money quote, and a really good
jumping off point to have some conversation.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
So that's what we're gonna do right now.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
So let us discuss the question the Chicago Bears quarterback
Caleb Williams saying pressure is not a thing for me.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
All right, can you decode? Can you decode that message?
Speaker 1 (04:20):
So I've got emergency room, Amtrak, and Microsoft Excel, and
we'll combine all of these things together and we're gonna
make the gobaol. We're gonna make the gobbagouls what we're
gonna do. So we'll do that for our friend in Florida. So,
first of all, when you hear that quote, you hear
(04:41):
that quote, pressure is not a thing for me, and
you're like, well, that must be fake as well.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
No he said it.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
And then you're like, okay, so he doesn't get it
to me, that's a red flag to me, that's a
red flag. He's basically telling Caleb Williams. He's telling the
Bears fans, Yeah, don't expect much. You know, don't expect much.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Now, if you really care about the Bears, that should
give you a heartburn.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
It should, right if you your g man's or your
feme or Eugene in Chicago. To quote the Great Mark
Twain denial ain't just a river in Egypt, right, He's
acting like pressures beneath him or something like that. Now
that is his mindset. The bar is staying lo.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Lo lo lo lo lo. Pressure comes with the gig.
It's like the It's akin to if.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
You're a trauma surgeon in an emergency room saying, well,
you know, blood's not not really.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
A thing for me. I don't really do blood. Okay, okay,
what kind of is you know? It's kind of part
of the deal in this case. You're the quarterback.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
You're supposed to be the adult in the room with
your painted nails. It's just the mentality is rather soft,
it is right, It's not something where you have much confidence.
And he's is he going to try to manifest wins
with crystals and essential oils and.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
All that stuff?
Speaker 1 (06:06):
And does he ever feel pressure? Does Kayleb Williams ever
feel pressure? Is there a moment maybe he goes down
to get his nails painted.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
They don't have the right color for him. Is that pressure?
I don't know. But pressure is a point of demarcation
and it is what separates the dudes who actually win
playoff games. They can compartmentalize, they can accept the pressure
and embrace the pressure. They don't ignore the pressure, right.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
And then there's the others that just collect stats and
garbage time, and against.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Bad teams they do very well.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
And that brings us to the real issue, the HeLa
monster in the room. Caleb Williams rookie season was full
of a lot of empty calories. There was a lot
of sizzle coming in, but not a lot of steak.
You know, the numbers, the touchdowns and the interceptions, they
were fine, but when did those touchdowns come right down?
(07:05):
Seventeen in the fourth quarter meaningless moments in the game.
And so the way I look at this, you can
sprinkle take some sprinkles, you know, the kind that you
would put on a cupcake, and you can take that
thing of pink sprinkles and you can put it on
a pile of dog crap and you can call it
(07:28):
a cupcake and say it's a delicious cupcake with the sprinkles.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
I'm not eating it now.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
You might want to eat it, but I don't want
to eat it all right now. Secondly, we move on
to Oxnard, in the beautiful Oxnard area that is where
the Dallas Cowboys are having.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Training camp and there's a.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Hot take artist that is floating around a theory that
the Cowboys defensive star Micah Parsons that he needs to
quote be willing to sit out the year in his
contract situation.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
He's at loggerheads with Jerry Jones.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
But in order to get Jerry Jones to understand the
value of Micah Parsons. So is that good advice or
a fool's errand good advice or a fool's erin So
this is one of those things. Are you out of
your bloody mind? That is a delight? It is a
dingle buried delight, is what it is. What do we
(08:30):
always say? You never leave money on the table. You
always get your money. Now, you can't prove your worth
by sitting on a couch, eating ice cream and posting
on your phone cryptic Instagram stories and weird emojis about
a lion and all that stuff. That is a trip
on the Amtrak And it's not it's not your normal
(08:54):
Amtrak line. It's the crazy train on Amtrak right to Brokeville,
right right in Brokeville. Now, you try to sit out
of season some of the worst advice ever. You try
to sit out of season in Dallas under Jerry.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
I'm the GM, I'm the coach, I'm the spiritual leader
the Dallas Cowboys. Joan, let me tell you some right now.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
I will guarantee you that that man will draft three
players to replace you mid hold out and we'll turn
this into a docu series on Netflix. And nobody is
bigger than the star for the Cowboys.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Jerry's gonna say everyone's replaceable. That is true. Everyone's replaceable.
Everyone's replaceable.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
But we don't care how many sacks you had last season.
And here's another guy with a lot of empty numbers.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Nobody cares. The NFL doesn't care.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
And we know that Jerry, yet again loves the drama
O rama, and we highlight that on a daily basis.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Here we're talking about the Cowboys, and Jerry's been negotiating
with everybody.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
You know.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Jerry even negotiates with Father Time. Did you know that.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Yeah, he negotiates with Father Time every morning, and he wins.
So far, he's win winning. Now one day he's not
gonna win. Right now, he's winning, he is, so Parsons.
Any money that you lose, you're not.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Gonna get back.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
So if you did sit out, stuff, moves on the
train keeps moving. You're not a quarterback, You're a pass rusher.
You don't have that much lever.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
You be forgotten, like you know John Kittna, former Cowboy
quarterback forgotten or Zeke Elliott at the end when he.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Couldn't play anymore. All right, now, final fuck to television land.
We go the land of TV. So if you're watching,
and I don't know if you were not, I'm sure
the ratings were gonna be good because it's football.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
It's NFL football.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
So if you're watching the game last night the Chargers
and the Lions, the fifth string players for the Chargers played.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
The sixth string for the Lions, and the Chargers went
bot a bing, bought a boom. They won big. That's
not much of a talker.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
We did get our first glimpse of a major change
to NFL broadcast on that NBC broadcast last night as
the game began. The new the new virtual measurement system
that made its debut during the Hall of Fame game
early in the game, and it was absolutely slayed as
(11:28):
one of the worst things that has ever come to
an NFL television broadcast.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
So what did you think? What did you think.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
So I saw it, and then I saw the clip online.
I said, maybe I was a little dazed when I
was watching it. So I watched it again. I said, man,
that is a TCS situation, total clown show.
Speaker 4 (11:48):
Right.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
And here's another example of the NFL trying to fix
something that really wasn't broken.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
It wasn't broken. And we had mentioned that the chain gang.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
While technically they're still in the stadium, they're just there
for cosmetic reasons. And the chain gang, is it a
little primitive? Is it a throwback to the olden days?
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Yeah? Are they occasionally imprecise? Absolutely? However it added drama.
So if this is the new normal, you've got a
bunch of nerds in a van somewhere telling us that
the point of the football moved zero point zero zero
four yards and therefore first down like that, this is
(12:44):
a really big day for those that are like, trust
the science. You know that crowd, trust the science. This
is the science. It's the NFI. You know what it is.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
It's the NFL continuing to sanitize our game of football.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
And all of these sports leagues are doing it. They've
all been commandeered by groups that have agendas because they
know they can get a lot of money.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
And even though these people that on the NFL teams
are very wealthy, they're also pretty stupid and they'll buy anything.
And this is an example. It's like a lab experiment. Now,
back of the old days, football was a man's game, you.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Know, gritty gritty, and you practiced at crappy high schools.
You're traveled with coach travel.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
You didn't get treated like a king, and it was
just a mom and pop operation.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
It used to be more human.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
And what I saw in that Hall of Fame game,
it isn't even one game.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
We'll get used to it, it'll be all right.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
But it's like that was like watching a Microsoft Excel
spreadsheet decide one Like, it's not.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Not everything has to be perfect. It's not about everything
must be perfect. It's an only thing to say, well,
how are they going to manipulate that? What's the control factor?
Speaker 1 (14:12):
So they want to centralize the NFL, sanitized league approved outcome.
So we're supposed to believe that the NFL now has
perfect AI, that it's absolutely perfect, right, police, have you
seen some of this nonsense that AIS come up with.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
It's not perfect, It's absolutely not perfect.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
So listen, call me old fashioned whatever, but give me
two fat guys who are old dudes with the chain
and the polls at ten yards apart any day. That
new system, I'm telling you right now, and I'm screaming
from the top of the mountain.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
Is voodoo bugaloo. That's what it is.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
You're gonna have some playoff game decided by laser accuracy
did they.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Reach the line to gain?
Speaker 1 (15:03):
And no one will be able to verify it. It's
gonna screw some team in the postseason book it. And
that's when you know what.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Hits the fan.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
That's when the poo poo hits the fan fan, and
mark my words, a team that is perceived to get
calls like Kansas City or something like that will end
up getting the benefit of the doubt. And then it's
on right. And when that happens, because there's no one
to hold accountable, you can't really yell at a computer
(15:34):
or I guess you could, or a robot or whatever.
And you can't really throw a flag at whatever code
they're using. Now, the best part is that we're all
just supposed to sit here like sheep and just eat
it up.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
The broadcasters were just gushing. It was like, this is
the iPhone twenty five here it is.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
It's so precise, Oh my god, real time calculation that technolo. Now,
maybe the AI can also at the same time scan
the game ball for germs, because we.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Don't want any of.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Our football heroes to get sick, right, And how about.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Make sure there's no emotional trauma from those that have
touched the ball while they're at it. It's like it's
a freaking you're marking first down or not a first down. Now,
keep in mind, I understand it's never ever going back. Okay,
once the NFL rolls something like this out, it's done.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
And it is true that everyone's gonna get used to
it and all that stuff, but we're not gonna get
the chains back.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
The chains are not coming back. Now.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
The good news is, and if you want to have
a little bit of nostalgia, I'm almost positive if you
go over to NFL shop dot com, they will sell
you an old set of chains.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
You can be part of the Chain game Chain Gang.
If you want that, you be part of it. It
is the Ben Mahlor Show. You'll be part of this
show as well.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
At eight seven seven ninety nine, on Fox. That's eight seven, seven, nine, nine, six,
six three sixty nine. Also on ex at Ben Mahlor.
That's at Ben Mahlor. If you want to be part
of the show. They The next Malor Meet and greet
is on August twenty third in Las Vegas.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
We're gonna get together in Sin City. So let you
know more. We have exact that, an exact venue. We're
getting that put together.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
But our guy in Vegas slug making that happen, so
check that out coming up later this month.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Time.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
Now, though, for the Malor riddle of the day, and
here is the malor.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Riddle of the day.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
We'll go to a sport very popular here in sports radio.
A professional chess player.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Was eliminate was eliminated from a one point five million
dollar tournament after blank. Again, a professional chess player was
eliminated from a one point five million dollar tournament after blank. Now,
that is the Mallord riddle of the day. The answer,
(18:22):
We'll get to it, and we will do it next.
Speaker 5 (18:27):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 6 (18:36):
Hey, we're Cavino and Rich Fox Sports Radio every day
five to seven pm Eastern. But here's the thing. We
never have enough time to get to everything we want
to get.
Speaker 7 (18:45):
To, and that's why we have a brand new podcast
called over Promised. You see, we're having so much fun
in our two hour show. We never get to everything, honestly,
because this guy is over promising things we never have
time for. Yeah, you blobber li lame and me.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
Well, well you know what it's called over promise. You
should be good at it because you've been over promising
women for years.
Speaker 7 (19:04):
Well, it's a Covino and Rich after show, and we
want you to be a part of it. We're gonna
be talking sports, of course, but we're also gonna talk
life and relationships. And if Rich and I are arguing
about something or we didn't have enough time, it will
continue on our after show called over Promised.
Speaker 6 (19:17):
Well, if you don't get enough Covino and Rich, make
sure you check out over Promised and also Uncensored, by
the way, so maybe we'll go at it even a
little harder. It's gonna be the best after show podcast
of all time.
Speaker 7 (19:28):
There you go, over promising. Remember you could see it
on YouTube, but definitely join us. Listen over promised with
Covino and Rich on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or
wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 8 (19:39):
It's Ben Meller and the Two Night Lean He loved
the Clippers and get this Day Lean come home. Then
into your dou mo mode the ram.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Ben Mal Ben Melle.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
You don't have to listen, lend to enjoy malt. Oh yeah, militia.
Speaker 4 (20:09):
You are to know you should Oh when he open,
oh man, he.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
Just crys, oh man, that's not true. It's right, Bill Miller.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
You are locked in on the Ben Mallor show coming
up later this hour, Big Ben's lame jokes of the week.
We got your calls coming up here. Until then, don't
forget though. It is Friday, the first day of August.
A new episode of the Fifth Hour podcast and a big,
big update.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
Which you've all been waiting for. Well maybe not you,
but someone over there.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
Has been waiting for on Benny Versus the Petty Will there.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Bes Season three or will there not be?
Speaker 1 (20:49):
You'll find out on the Fifth Hour Podcast later today,
so check that out.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
It should be up early in the morning. Man, try
to get it up. Turn that thing around. Hopefully by
just an hour or so after this show.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
In the meantime, you can be part of the program
by saying hello on the phones eight seven seven ninety
nine on Fox. Also on ex at Ben Mahlor that's
at Ben Mahlor and Lorena FSR Tech Queen and Hooper
Loop Sailoh to Coop uh bronco fan. Your comments can
(21:26):
and we'll be used against you in the court of
sports radio.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
And now back to it.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
All right, well, so we'll play off the the malor
riddle of the day. Professional chess player was eliminated from
a one point five million dollar tournament after blank.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
All right, that is the question. What is the answer?
Speaker 1 (21:49):
I know you, you boys, you love your your your
your your chess. You can't get enough. You're like Ben,
I want more chess talk. I need more chess talking you.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
I said, what we'll do it. We'll do We'll talk
some chess because we are all about that action, all
about that action.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
So let's see, does anyone know the answer? We go
to the mighty powerful X Machine. Mala prop guy says,
getting ice cream all over the chess pieces, that would
be a problem. Bobby in Florida says, getting caught playing
hide the Bishop.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
Oh interesting, all right? What else do we have? Well,
I don't know, I don't know, just google it.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
Uh he was knuckle deep mining for gold, according to
the Milkman, Mike in Colorado, Alfi alien ol Piner says
after a dress code violation, uh, an index card from
King Rory after being connected to Gilbert Arenas from Keith,
(22:49):
we have a problem Oho text though, Big greg and Iowa,
one of our starting offensive linemen, says he was eliminated
for trying to use an illegal chess piece.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
All right.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
Fudgie in Boston says the answer is after he violently
whipped an opponent's bishop against the wall.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
I see what you guys are doing. I'm on you,
I'm on you. Ferg Dog says after he was caught
making out with the queen. There's a lot of good
puns with chess. What else?
Speaker 1 (23:17):
He was eliminated after his night mounted his king that
according to Andy in Lino Lakes, Minnesota, who else do
we have? Page Down using a serenite bomb on the
ice platform? Okay, that was from Asher page Down and
(23:38):
Robin Vegas says eliminated after attending the August twenty third
meet Ingreet.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
There you go. Oh of Robin Vegas.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
I guess he's gonna be there. Rob's a good dude.
Not as active on the show these days, but he's
still listening. Who else do we have?
Speaker 2 (23:52):
Page down? Can't read that on the air.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
See JT the wingman says, taking thirty six pills in
the morning and thirty six pills at night.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Oh, there's hollering James.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Look at that hollering James right there side by side
with me. Page down, Inca Terra says, after insulting fescas
and the swollen domes, he said, Okay, I see what
you're doing there in ka terror he burped a Britney
Spears song that's from Mark in Santa Monica.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
That's his answer. Who's your bill? Says he was suspended
for wearing wearing jeans. Wearing jeans?
Speaker 1 (24:29):
All right, Lorena, Time to pay off the Mallard riddle
of the day. Professional chess player was eliminated from a
one point five million dollar tournament after.
Speaker 5 (24:38):
Blank getting caught betting on a high risk chess game.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
Oh, here's gambling? Was he gambling? Was he a bad boy?
Speaker 6 (24:48):
No?
Speaker 1 (24:50):
It turns out the professional player this was in Riad,
Saudi Arabia at a one point five million dollar tournament.
He was eliminated because of a rogue mouse click. A
rogue mouse click, and that's.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
All she wrote.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
Remember Janet Jackson had the nip slip. This was the
mouse slip. Yeah, the mouse slip.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
And so saw the video.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
Yeah, this happened the other day. And you gotta be
careful with that mouse. So it's a problem.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
You'd be very careful. I believe.
Speaker 9 (25:24):
I believe he misclicked and like did a wrong move
and then just resigned, like, let me shame for that.
I mean, I imagine that the move was bad and
it was gonna be bad news for him anyway, but.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
It wasn't Saudi Arabia. They might cut his hand off
or something like that. Right, they would be careful.
Speaker 4 (25:42):
You don't.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
You don't upset anyone. There m'd be a problem.
Speaker 4 (25:46):
All right.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
Wait with that is the malor riddle of the day.
Let's get to the phones and let's see who do
we have here. I did see Hugh on the five
a little late with the answer, but he's listening. He's
checking in. Let's see here, by the way, we are
available on on the as I said the ex machine
at Ben mallor you can email the show Ben Malors
Show at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
It's Ben Malors Show at gmail dot com. If you
want to be part of the program. Let's see here.
My computer is a little slow.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
Here's Poppy there. I don't know. I have a is
not resetting the calls, So listen. Poppy in San Diego, Hello, Poppy.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
Hey, Ben Maller. I just want to say I love
the intro. How you you know, listen to your mentor
read that that intro was like fire, you know, I
loved it. I loved it. And second of all, I
just want to say, you know, congratulations and Benny versus
of Tenny, you't want to be the first one season
(26:47):
three Ben Maller.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Well, Poppy, I think you'll you'll enjoy the announcement today,
and I really would like to I would like.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
To credit you.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
I feel like in many ways you're responsible for the
news that I'm going to share later today.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
So thank you for that, Poppy.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
You're You've been a great inspiration here, so I really
want to thank you for that.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
And you'll be very happy with the news.
Speaker 3 (27:07):
Yes, yeah, And I'm really excited and happy for the
news and everyone listening to the podcast after this, well, listen,
we're gonna stay up. And that means Ben mallor for
you know that we're gonna be having Poppy versus Lorena
for season too. Right, I'm excited.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Let me check my notes here. I don't. I don't
see that on the notes.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
I don't. Oh yeah, well yeah, remember you.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
Didn't show up, Poppy. You were supposed to show up
every week and you just show up and well.
Speaker 3 (27:39):
Yeah, I already know what you're gonna say, Ben Mala.
But look, let me explain to you.
Speaker 4 (27:44):
Poppy is a hard worker.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
Maybe you know you're saying I didn't show up one week,
but I'm always gonna be there for season two. But
I was working in the morning all the way to
the night, like hard worker. You know, I'm a hard worker.
So you know, maybe you know for this time, but
I'm not there. We can have like a fake Poppy
like weed man, you know, like a fake weed man,
have a fake Poppy.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
So who would be a fake Poppy? Who do you
think would do a good fake poppy?
Speaker 3 (28:08):
I mean a fake poppy A man. A lot of
good callers out there that would do that. I mean man.
I don't know. Maybe uh, maybe someone I say blind
scoat on my mind or something like that.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
All right, hold on a sec, Hold on, blind Scott.
Can you do a fake Poppy voice? If Poppy came everybody, everybody,
it's Poppy.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
I haven't worked for the past month because I've been.
Speaker 10 (28:32):
Taking a pat of my car.
Speaker 3 (28:33):
I got the wheel off, I got my I got
my little loope here helping.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
All right? All right, wow, okay, all right, hold on
his poppy? How is that poppy? Do you like that?
It was that a good Is that a good feeling
for you?
Speaker 3 (28:45):
No?
Speaker 2 (28:46):
No, no, no, no, you're you're regretting. Wait wait wait, wait,
wait wait, who's talking right now? I don't know who
that was. I don't know. Both mines are up.
Speaker 9 (28:55):
I'm not sure who just said that.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
Oh that was me, That was me.
Speaker 9 (28:59):
That was That's a great one guy.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
All right? What about hollering James?
Speaker 1 (29:05):
You think James would be a good poppy? All right,
let me check with him. Hold on, hold on a sec.
Hollering James. Would you like to be the fill in
as the fake poppy? Hollering James?
Speaker 2 (29:29):
All right, well, the real Poppy stand up, Poppy? Did
you like that. Do you think hollowing James would be
a good poppy?
Speaker 3 (29:36):
Man? Man, I love that he made me love, he
made me.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
Laugh, Yeah, he made me he made me cry, he
made me cry.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Yeah? All right, So that are we gonna settle on
hollering James?
Speaker 3 (29:50):
Oh man, I would love to hear other people wandering
like a fake.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
All right, Let's see what Tony in the Bay Area? Tony,
would you like to be the fake poppy?
Speaker 2 (30:00):
The Bay Area?
Speaker 4 (30:02):
Aaron Rodgers looks like a gay?
Speaker 2 (30:03):
Whereas Waldo, what do you do that poppy? You think
that would be a good fake poppy?
Speaker 3 (30:14):
Oh? Man, I don't think that, all right?
Speaker 1 (30:18):
Apparently, how about Mike the leper gun? I see, Mike
the Leprechaun. Mike, would you like to be the fake poppy?
Mike the Leprechaun in the Boston area? Would you like
to be the fake poppy Mike the Leprechaun?
Speaker 3 (30:29):
I will, but don't put me off fold out to
her pop picks. I'm gonna pick the changers and and
like to then picks as annoying.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Okay, all right? U yeah, I mean you're going so good.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
We were three for three and then we had to
go for the fourth and then man, all right, sorry, Poppy.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
I guess it's gotta be hollering James.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
Yeah, I think hollering is in. I think Lep was
doing good.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
No, he was terrible, Mike, God, he sucked. I was terrible, right,
hang up on him. Let's go to hollering James. James, congratulations,
you won the Poppy soundlike contest.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
No, you didn't win a golden ticket.
Speaker 4 (31:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
I love the show.
Speaker 10 (31:23):
You got so many characters. But I haven't heard from
tell me about I did not follow the script. I
told earlier today that I don't back up. I called
right back. I couldn't get through the line was busy.
I didn't know what to do.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
You're a poet and you don't even know it.
Speaker 10 (31:41):
I'm a poet and trying to show for wors Loreena
or Brie.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
You don't even know what my name is, Brie. By
the way, I am Bri.
Speaker 4 (31:54):
No, I'm not my name.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
I changed my name debris.
Speaker 10 (31:57):
Oh did you? What did you do? The name change?
Speaker 2 (32:00):
As I got my two minutes ago?
Speaker 10 (32:03):
This over with.
Speaker 3 (32:05):
You?
Speaker 10 (32:05):
What my homelessness? When I was homeless? Remember I was
calling you from different places?
Speaker 2 (32:11):
Oh yeah, because he got kicked out of the Yeah, yeah, kicked.
Speaker 10 (32:14):
Out of the other one. Hey, will you play that
one song for me? Then by Jo Josh and the
other guy turns express of the work as the little
goals to it, and we get in the song.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
It's Coop care No, he stepped out. He stepped out.
Speaker 10 (32:32):
Oh, tell him he's gotta download the song, man, that's come.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
On, man, we need the song.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
Thirty six pills in the morning, thirty six pills.
Speaker 10 (32:40):
At night, and dude, tell me the bad time takes
a less All right? Oh better love your show?
Speaker 2 (32:51):
Oh there it is James. Look you want to sing?
Speaker 8 (32:53):
Sing James, Yeah in the morning.
Speaker 4 (33:15):
Not really following the lyrics.
Speaker 8 (33:20):
What did you expect, James, I'm gonna go see listen
to your shot?
Speaker 2 (33:28):
James, where do you have a cut? Did he forget
the words?
Speaker 1 (33:31):
Daddy?
Speaker 2 (33:31):
He once told me, James, you be sports calling man.
He fell asleep.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
You asked for the song, James.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
You gotta sing, James, come on, just mumbling.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
All right, I got I gotta go, I gotta go.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
Thank you? Is weed man? There by the way? Do
we have weed man? Is he ready for the job?
All right, We're gonna try to get a hold of
weed man, Hippie.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
He's my laugh track, and we're gonna have big bands
lame jokes of the week, Big Ben's lame jokes.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
Of the week. We'll get to that and we will
do it next.
Speaker 5 (34:15):
Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
Speaker 2 (34:21):
Bill Miller and you it is the Ben Maler Show.
And reminder, with the iHeart Radio app, you can stream
the Ben Mallor Show wherever you happen to be on
God's Green Earth. Catch us and all the other gas bags,
blow hards and know it alls that also have shows here.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
And talking to microphones of Fox Sports Radio. You do
it live twenty four to seven.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
We prove that we're the overnight part of that in
the new and improved iHeart Radio app.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
Just search Fox Sports Radio. In the app you can
stream us live all day, all night, every day, every night.
Be sure to select Fox Sports Radio, the Ben Maler
Show and the Fifth Hour Podcast a big time pot
cast today you're not gonna want to miss with news
on Betty Versus the Penny, so check that out, but
have those as some of your precess on the iHeartRadio
(35:08):
app but will always pop up at the very top
of your screen.
Speaker 5 (35:16):
Knock knock, who's there? Blame we blame we too. It's
Big Ben's lame joke of the week.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
Well, that is Big Ben's lame jokes.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
So we have the weed Man in the house in
the hissy there in Miami.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
Hello, weed Man, Yeah, I'm here.
Speaker 10 (35:31):
Then, I love you, big lad.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
All right, how's life weed been? Everything? Okay with you?
You're getting out, You're putting your feet on the grass
a little bit.
Speaker 5 (35:39):
Damn good.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
You don't leave your house at all, do you?
Speaker 3 (35:43):
Yeah, go out tires beautifuloud?
Speaker 2 (35:45):
Now okay, all right, good. So these are actual jokes
by well, yes, where you live there?
Speaker 1 (35:52):
Yeah, and you're not You're not living on Lincoln Road anymore?
Speaker 2 (35:58):
Correct. Yeah. Uh, you're not getting arrested every other week.
Speaker 4 (36:04):
Thank god, I got you.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
All right, Well, let's have some fun. Why not. Here
we go, And if you.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
Want to send jokes in for a future episode, send
them care of Benmathershow at gmail dot com.
Speaker 2 (36:16):
Make sure to put joke in the headline. That way
I can get through all.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
Of the spam emails Blind Scott sends me and find
your jokes.
Speaker 2 (36:25):
Anyway we go? Why did Ozzy Osbourne play baseball? Or
why didn't? Why didn't Ozzy Osbourne play baseball?
Speaker 5 (36:32):
Why?
Speaker 2 (36:33):
Well, nobody would give them bad? That's from Eke in Roseville, Minnesota.
How isn't holding from me? How bad is it is?
Speaker 1 (36:44):
The forest fire? The smoke from that forest fire from Manitoba.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
Entering the US?
Speaker 3 (36:51):
Wow? How bad?
Speaker 1 (36:53):
It's so bad that everyone's took us in Minnesota?
Speaker 2 (36:56):
Smells like Canadian bacon? All right, that's from Ike again.
Here's one from Noah in Austin.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
What do Parallel Lines and Blind Scott's next girlfriend have
in common? What they'll never meet?
Speaker 2 (37:21):
Why did? Why did the or not? Why did did
you hear?
Speaker 1 (37:24):
Did you hear the Malard Militia had a bagel flavored
a bagel flavor band at Panera? A bagel flavor was
banned by the Malad Militia at Panera?
Speaker 10 (37:36):
No I didn't hear that.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
Yeah, apparently no one can stand the poppy. They can't
stand it. That's Joe.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
What would your poppy? That was Joe and Virginia Beach?
What would your poppy impersonation be?
Speaker 2 (37:48):
Weed man?
Speaker 3 (37:52):
Bye day?
Speaker 4 (37:58):
All right?
Speaker 2 (37:58):
What are the angels?
Speaker 1 (37:59):
And keg drinking Steve's nightly blood alcohol level have in common.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
What they're both heading the five hundred. They're both heading
the five hundred. That's Eric Eric in Kansas. This one
from Tony in the Bay Area.
Speaker 1 (38:15):
Did you hear that David Vassat was traded for a
bag of crap and some knee pads?
Speaker 2 (38:21):
Yeah, they called it an even trade, That's what they
called it.
Speaker 5 (38:24):
There and.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
Big Bangs lame jokes a week. What's the difference between
Blind Scott and Marcel from Brooklyn?
Speaker 3 (38:34):
What?
Speaker 1 (38:36):
Well, actually nothing, They're both terrible callers. That's Mike the Leprechaun.
Speaker 2 (38:41):
What did Blind.
Speaker 1 (38:42):
Scott say when someone told them the Patriots will win
the Super Bowl next year?
Speaker 2 (38:47):
What he said?
Speaker 1 (38:48):
I can't see that happening. That's Eric in Kansas. Well,
some sad news. Did you hear that Shane and the
Moine walk into a field of days snowman?
Speaker 10 (39:01):
No?
Speaker 2 (39:02):
Yeah, apparently just turned out to be a huge carrot field.
But the same thing I don't Eric that was that
was a Noah red Noah in Austin Big Ben's lame
Jokes of the Week. These are actual jokes from actual listeners.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
Let's see here What kind of sauce does Eminem get
at Taco Bell? What kind eight eight mild?
Speaker 2 (39:24):
He likes eight mile?
Speaker 1 (39:27):
That's the very funny buttermilk tavo what talent show would
Holler and James dominate in?
Speaker 2 (39:36):
What the malor Poe snooze? Uh and said? Buttermilk tavo again,
Now we get to the good stuff.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
Why doesn't weed Man have a problem getting to sleep
when he's in jail? Why because he spent a lifetime
sleeping behind bars?
Speaker 2 (39:58):
And that's a surf Todd very funny man server topic comedian.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
Hopefully Sir for Todd will be able to make the
Mallard meet and Greek in Vegas.
Speaker 2 (40:07):
Weed Man, you're invited. We're gonna be in Vegas August
twenty third. Wee Man, make sure show up.
Speaker 1 (40:11):
But what did What did weed Man's son say when
weed Man told him someday you'll have a son of
your own?
Speaker 2 (40:21):
What he said, so will you? That's Eric in Kansas?
All right?
Speaker 4 (40:25):
How is.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
How is? How is weed Man? Hippie sex life? How
it comes and goes in spurts? That's a surfer Todd
yeah s topic comedian weed Man.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
Have you ever seen a nurse bird, No, me neither,
but angry Bill sees nurse birds daily.
Speaker 2 (40:52):
That's Tony. Now, how do you know?
Speaker 1 (40:58):
You're at weed Man's birthday party? There's no food, but
everyone has the munchies.
Speaker 2 (41:05):
That's Dan.
Speaker 1 (41:07):
In South in South Carolina. This one's from Tom and Indiana.
Did you hear that weed Man had a terrifying, terrifying
experience with the Obama phone the other day?
Speaker 3 (41:19):
No, what happened?
Speaker 2 (41:21):
Yeah? Apparently you actually punched up expresspros dot com and
they tried to give you a job and you freaked
out and you Tom Tom from Indiana, I heard you
weed Man found stir fry all over your bed?
Speaker 3 (41:40):
Wow?
Speaker 4 (41:41):
Really?
Speaker 3 (41:41):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (41:42):
Apparently you were sleep walking, is what you were doing.
You were sleep.
Speaker 1 (41:46):
Walking from Buttermilk, Chavo and last one George and Uvalde, Texas.
What do weed Man, hippie and Fox Sports radio producer
lead a Lap have in common.
Speaker 2 (41:59):
With the sim sins? What they all have itchy and
scratchy parts. Thank you, eat Man
Host
Ben Maller
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