January 24, 2025 • 39 mins
Ben Maller talks about MLB teams recruiting Dodgers pitcher Roki Sasaki if he wanted to be Michael Jordan or Kevin Durant, Pete Alonso being in advanced talks with the Blue Jays, Lame Jokes of the Week, and much more!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Dingo. It's our numb Bird three hour three of the
Original Recipe podcast. Major League Baseball. A topic of conversation
the Dodgers' latest free agent pickup, Roki Sazaki. He was
asked if he wanted to be a Michael Jordan like
(00:20):
player in his career or a Kevin Durant like player
from an opposing team? What are the reasons behind that? Also,
Pete Alonso is he heading to Toronto? And Ichiro has
a offer to the baseball writer that did not vote
for him for the Hall of Fame. We'll get to
all that and more right now. It's our number three
(00:45):
playing the game, the haggling game. Welcome in the beginning
of another hour of the Ben Mather Show. We are
in the air Ay where brothers and sisters in sports
talk as we roll on and roll strong, coast to coast, border,
(01:09):
the border and beyond on the beast and absurdly powerful
microphones of fs are emminating live from the Twister as
we twist words, words and words. We're broadcasting live from
the Tiraq dot Com studios. Tyraq dot Com will help
(01:29):
you get there and unmatched selection, fast free shipping, free
road hazard protection, and over ten thousand recommended installers tyraq
dot com The Way Tire Buying show.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
B.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
So I leave this hour, We're gonna change it up
a little bit. I realized that we are in the
middle of the NFL playoffs, but there's a couple of
stories in baseball that caught my attention, and I thought,
why don't we change it up a little bit this
hour and talk some baseball. And our lead is from
diamond adjacent. We are less than a month from playball.
(02:11):
Pitchers and catchers will report to spring training in a
couple of weeks, and then the first spring training game
is February twentieth in the Cactus League, and then shortly
after that in the Grapefruit League. There will be spring
training games. So things are settling in the calm before
the storm of Major League Baseball, when each team will
play including spring training, about two hundred games before the
(02:34):
playoffs start. But some interesting dirt from the post mortem
on one of the bigger free agent signings of the offseason.
If you did not see this, maybe not. We're getting
some new intel on the negotiation for the latest Japanese
phenom that chose to sign in Los Angeles, Roki Sazaki.
(02:57):
He received a pretty big time. He's got no major
league experience, obviously from the Dodgers, and we've learned about
the negotiation. He was talking to the Blue Jays, the Dodgers,
the Padres, some other teams, and he received a basketball
related line of questioning from teams. Throughout free agency, there
(03:18):
was a story going around, if you saw this or not,
caught my attention that some organizations asked Sazaki if he
was interested in following the career path of Kevin Durant
or Michael Jordan, wanting to figure out if he was
going to join a super team or did he want
to help build his own super team. So let us
(03:43):
discuss the question major League Baseball recruiting Dodd would turned
out to be Dodger pitcher Roki Sazaki asking him if
he wanted to be Michael Jordan or Kevin Durant. What
are the reasons for this? So I've got star Wars,
(04:04):
rotten bananas, and toad venom, and we will combine all
of these things together and we are going to make
garlic mashed potatoes, which I've been making a lot lately.
I found this, I told you I found this recipe
it's from one of my favorite restaurants. It's in San Francisco.
(04:26):
They used to have a place in La called The
Stink and Rose. Oh so good. Get a rip off recipe?
All right? So, first of all, my first thought on
this question, what are the reasons that somebody would ask
Rokie Sazaki if he wanted to be Michael Jordan or
Kevin Durant. Well, it's desperate times call for desperate measure.
It's kind of obvious right now it is more likely
(04:46):
than not. After several minutes of deliberation, I've determined this
is the Padres that probably did this. They have been
pants all off season by the Doyers. In fact, every team,
every single team in baseball has been publicly humiliated by
the bums. The Big Blue Wrecking Crew is making all
(05:11):
the teams look bad with their devilish charm and deferred money.
So this mystery team, I think it's the Padres, but
whoever they are, they turned to Star Wars Tactics. Star
Wars Tactics with Sazaki. Now what do I mean by that?
(05:31):
That's pretty simple here. This is if you if you
know the Star Wars films, and I'm old, so I
only like the first three. But it's a Jedi mind trick, right,
the Jedi mind trick attempting to implant suggestion into the
mind of Sazaki, and it's rather weak. And you talk
about not hitting the bulls eye. Let me explain something.
(05:56):
So ro Ki Sazaki, I don't know much about him.
I did some research because I have nothing but time.
And he's from a town in Japan of eighteen thousand people.
He didn't grow up in America. Why would he give
a rats ass whether or not he was Kevin Durant
or Michael Jordan. Tell me you don't understand who you're
(06:21):
talking to your target audience without telling me you don't
understand your target audience. My god, I mean absolute horse
feather feathers is what it is. Seriously, you think Sazaki
was a big NBA fan growing up, and like, oh,
Michael Jordan, he's what is he? Twenty three years old?
Michael Jordan's last year in the NBA was before he
(06:45):
was even alive, most likely right or right around that time.
I think Jordan last played in twenty oh two or
twenty oh three, something along those lines. Now, secondly to
the unemployment line, we go, we're hearing that as spring
training gets closer, negotiations are heating up between free agent
(07:06):
former Mets star Pete Alonzo, the Polar Bear Peter Alonzo
and Oha the Toronto Blue Jays. Fox are said to
be quote advancing qulose quote. Two sides are quote deep
in contract talks. However, the deal is not done yet.
(07:30):
The deal is not done yet. So Peter Alonso, as
we are doing the show right now in this moment,
Peter Alonso is in advanced talks with the Blue Jays.
Are you surprised by this? So I am not. It's
one of those deals getting later early. Pete Alonzo and
(07:52):
Scott Morris's agent rejected rejected a three year contract offer
from the Mets. So Alonzo rejects a three year offer
from the Mets, and they'd offered him a seven year
deal the year before. And the Mets are like, well,
we'll give you a three year deal, pay a lot
of money each year. You can get out of the
(08:13):
contract every year. And he said, I don't want that.
And so the Mets claim they've moved on and Toronto
is a temporary solution if he goes there to a
long term problem, A temporary solution to a long terruno
like we imagine it will be if he does sign
with the Blue Jays, it'll be a deal with a
bunch of opt outs. And this has become the norm.
(08:35):
You look at Carlos career, the cheating as one one
thousand and two, one thousand hole from Houston, he went
to Minnesota. Didn't want to go to Minnesota, but he
went there and he stayed there. And Matt Chapman went
to the Giants. He didn't really want to go there,
but he ended up staying there. And so there's these
deals that have popped up in recent years where guys
(08:56):
get caught where nobody wants them, and so they have
to go to a place they don't really want to
go because that's the only place they can go. It's
usually not a contender. And if you look at Alonzo right,
he's getting squeezed because of the double whamy. Now what
is the double whamy? I'll tell you he's a one
(09:17):
tool player. That's the first problem. All he does is
hit home runs, and he's middle aged. He didn't play well.
The last year's numbers have gone down. That is a
tough combo meal and so at this point. If you're
Peed Alonzo, you gotta pivot right. You're you're you're getting
rotten bananas. And as my mom taught me when I
was a little kid, when you get rotten, when when
(09:38):
the bananas go bad? Ben banana bread, banana bread, that's
Nate banana bread. So that's what Peter Alonzo is looking new.
He wants to make some nice, delicious Canadian banana bread.
Now I would advise him to not make banana bread
and just eat great the greatest thing ever to come
out of Canada poutine like that. You got to get
that Canadian poutine. That's where it's at. So that's what
(10:01):
Alonzo's going to do here. Get poutine, get banana bread,
go to Toronto and play well and then hope that
they trade you to a contender at the deadline. And
if not, if you play bad, you don't opt out
of the contract, and then that's that all right, Final five.
So Eachiro, each yourro Ichiro Suzuki. I'd have heard about him.
(10:25):
He's a Hall of Famer, and he said that he
would like to make an offer. Yeah, I wants to
make an offer to a baseball I think we have
the audio on this we have the audio. I think
we have the audio on this. So this is the
translator because Itchro I know he speaks English, but he
still uses a translator. I guess I don't know why,
but whatever, whatever floats your boat. And so he's at
(10:46):
the Hall of Fame news conference and Eachiro he had
a message through his interpreter for the person that did
not vote for him for the Hall of Fame. Let's
take a listen, all right, apparently we do not have
said audio. Well. Each Row said through his interpreter that
(11:07):
he wanted to have a drink. He wanted to have
a drink. We have it. Now, we have it. I'd
better late than ever, but here it is.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
I was able to receive many votes from the writers
and grateful for them.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
There's one writer.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
That I wasn't able to get a vote from. I
would like to invite him over to my house and
we have a drink together and we'll have a good chat.
Very very grateful to be here, and thank you.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Fun. So each Row that was an interpreter having fun.
But I think his interpreter has like he needs a
throat lozenge or something like that. Doesn't he need He's
got maybe garlic. All right, So each Row says he
wants to have a drink with the writer who did
not vote for him for the Hall of Fame. A
should the writer take him up on that? And B
how would that go? All right? So, uh, only if
(12:03):
each Row flies him to Japan, then you'd be like,
all right, fly me round trip to Japan. I want
like a week vacation to visit Japan. Then I'm good.
Otherwise forget about it. But they could also make a
made for TV miniseries like I have this vision in
my head. I'm an ideas guy, So how about this?
(12:24):
This is like a Netflix special. Each Road goes to
the hoot Nanny with three baseball scribes. They eat drink ayahuasca,
you know, the psychedelic tea with Joe Rogan and he's
there as well, he's like the celebrity add on. They
then smoke some toad venom, and at the very end
(12:44):
of the third episode, they go old school TV game
show to tell the truth. Will the real voter who
did not cast a ballot for each Row please stand up?
And the whole things pointless. Baseball writers have a hair
(13:05):
up their tailpiece when it comes to voting. One hundred percent.
I am convinced that somebody screwed up. Somebody was not
supposed to vote for Mariano Rivera, and they accidentally voted
for him the year that he got one hundred percent,
and they're bitter about that to this day. But Babe
Ruth never got one hundred percent, Hank Aaron didn't get
one hundred percent. Nobody, nobody has gotten one hundred percent.
(13:29):
So it's just the way they do things. It's the
ridiculousness of the baseball writers blowing smoke. So there is that,
right is the Ben Malard Show. There's some other audio
that we'll play later in the hour. I don't wanna
get ahead of the clock here, I'll screw the clock
up and I am on time. Mallard by the clock
for the clock, plausibly all about the clock. Don't want
(13:51):
to feel the pinch, the pinch of time. So we'll
move on with that. But we'll take your calls right
now eight seven, seven ninety nine on Fox. Well, you
in to the conversation, and it was great to see
my guy Fats in Philadelphia, who is up listening to
the show. And it's one of the great moments. And
I said, it's one of the top five moments if
(14:12):
you want to see it, if you're new to the show.
Years ago during COVID Fats in Philadelphia, one of our
big super fans in Philly and during the NFL Draft,
he lit himself on fire and screen my name literally
lit his chest on fire. And if you want to
see Fats and he's really lives up to his nickname Fats.
(14:35):
I re sent it out on X so you can
check that out on my feed at Ben Mallard. That's
at Ben Mallone also sent comments in be part of
the program if you would like, on the X machine
at Ben Maller. And we'll have right now the Mallor
Riddle of the day, the malor Riddle of the day.
(14:57):
Here's the Mallor riddle of the day. A senator has
accused the Los Angeles Dodgers of blank. Again, a senator
has accused the Los Angeles Dodgers of blank. That is
the malor riddle of the day. The answer, We'll get
(15:20):
to it and we will do it next.
Speaker 4 (15:26):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app Bill Miller.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
That would be me unless it's not. But hanging out
with you all night long. Lame jokes of the week
will be coming up later this hour. You can saleo
to Ben at Ben Mahller on the live show all
night Long under the cover of darkness at Ben Mahller
on X Kobeloop is in the producer's chair. Uh Bronco fan,
(15:59):
that's un Go fan. And Lorraine A he's hanging out
on the buttons. He's right there, a bunch of buttons
in front of her and a bunch of lights and
there's a VU meter all of that. You can say
hello to Lorraina at FSR Tech Queen. Now back to
(16:19):
the non stop chatterbox. Well, actually I do stop chattering occasionally.
It does not all all the time. There's some pauses
in there as well. That does happen. That's right, David
from Pennsylvania, right since says, who the hell is e dog?
(16:39):
Terrible terrible call fan of the Mets and Yankees. You
can't do that and that. Then he's in the Jerseys
and continues to mess up your punchline. Then he goes
on and blah blah, blah b he fed up my
whole mood. So e dog, I want and we have
not heard from his girl friend. She is not he
(17:01):
said earlier. He dog said that Melissa was going to
call up and her dad's Bobby g But we have
not heard from Melissa or or Bobby. Let's go to
Let's go with the phones. So we'll go to Let's
go to Tucson and we'll say hello to Jason who's
in the Grand Canyon. Say hello, Jason, welcome, Hey.
Speaker 5 (17:19):
How you doing? Uh, mister Mallard, it's such an honor
because I'm a truck driver. However, tonight I'm off and
I've had a few beers, and I really appreciate you
so much. I've been listening to you since Malor Malaysia
twenty sixteen. I think that was there was that one
(17:40):
moment where I became a member, but I really want
to be sworn in.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
Well, I'm gonna make your dream come true. That was
Marcel right, Yeah, that was I believe that was. What
kind of beer are you drinking over there? What do
you got going on? What kind of beer you got Jason?
Speaker 5 (17:59):
What kind of Bruce drey in mankind? It's hefadvice in
ten forty six German beer.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Oh you're going with that authentic German beer. That's great.
Are you eating anything? Are you just drinking the beer?
Anything that?
Speaker 5 (18:15):
Well? Well then I go back to the cours light.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Oh yeah, well you gotta mix it off, you know
that stuff that Yeah, that's the of course lies a
little cheaper than the others, you know, that's hope. I
understand completely. I got you. Well, thank you for listening
all these years.
Speaker 4 (18:28):
Man.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
That goes back a long time, twenty sixteen. That's a
that's a good run. All right, Well just repeat after me.
It's very simple. I'm gonna swear you in right now,
Jason live on the radio, AH six hundred six hundred
radio stations, and the satellite radio and the internet, the
whole thing. I mean, world famous. Everyone's gonna know your name.
(18:48):
Ozzie was right now is out in Western Australia. There's
a bunch of kangaroos around. He's turning up the audio
because he wants to hear you.
Speaker 5 (18:55):
I want to say beer, beer drinking. Brian. A lot
of people forget about him. I miss him, and he
was blind. Scott did a real number on that.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
Guy Scott Blind Scott has done a number on a
number of people. But you're bringing Brian, one of the
greats on the show. And I think you probably heard
did you hear Genie and Medford back in those days, Jason, you.
Speaker 5 (19:19):
Probably don't know about malor Malaysia right around that. And
I really I want to say that sometimes from Oregon
originally U Brian Wheeler was such a class act.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
I love Wheels. You know we were buddies. Did you
know that we used to you know, we come to
LA with the Blazers. We hang out and actually visited
your ben. Most people don't want to be my friend,
but he was one that did. He used to listen
to show a lot of those NBA guys. They travel
is obviously fly after games and stuff. So over the
there's a lot of those guys have listened to the show.
(20:01):
So it's it's great. He would he would say, Jason, Jason.
He would say, Jason that this call is amazing, astonishing
and astounding, is what he would say, because you do
those alliterations.
Speaker 5 (20:14):
Let me see you guys everywhere all over the place.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Just all right, all right, well let's do the place.
We must do the oath. Now you're buggarting the time.
There's people that want to talk. Let's do the oath.
Are you ready, Jason all I'm ready. I state your name. I, Jason,
do solemnly swear, solemnly swear that I will support and
defend the Ben Malor show.
Speaker 5 (20:39):
And support and defend the Ben Mallard Shore.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Against all enemies, against all enemies, foreign and domestic.
Speaker 5 (20:50):
Foreign and the mesket.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
And then I will obey the orders, and I will
obey the orders to peacefully fight back, to peacefully back
against hostile attacks.
Speaker 5 (21:06):
Against hostile attacks.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
From rival sports gas bags and blowhards.
Speaker 5 (21:12):
From rival from rival gas bags. And uh, nobody that
goes against the Ben Veeller ship.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
That was really well, said, uh, Lorenda? Does he pass
the test here? Lorena? I don't know.
Speaker 4 (21:30):
I thought it was beautiful at the he said domestic.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
Yes, you really nailed. You know what that is? That's
that German beer. Well, congratulations, Jason, you are now sworn
in in honor of the Great Lakes. Peter in Montana
who demanded Peter said, I need an oath. You need
an oath. You are now sworn in. Congratulations. All right, guys,
all right, don't don't drive anywhere. Stay home, don't go anywhere.
(21:57):
He did that so gracefully, very smooth. He's now a
virtual card carring member of the Malla Militia. I remember,
the Malord Militia is a peaceful organization. But every once
in a while, when my good name is sullied and
this show is under attack by rival programs, we must
form Voltron and we fight cyber warfare. Cyber warfare. So
(22:22):
thank you to Jason and Tucson. Let's go to Andrea,
who's in Berkeley and she is up next. Hello Andrea, Welcome.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
Hello Ben, how are you.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
You know Andrew. She's a famous caller on the show.
She's got the star charge, she's the sports sorceress, the
astrology lady, all of those things.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Yes, I love those names. Yes, well, welcome, welcome, How
are you?
Speaker 1 (22:46):
If I was any better, I would be sleeping, But
I'm here and I like staying up lates sory.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
No, I'm a night owl two. And you know I
appreciate the company.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Well, the most creative people, as you know, Andrea work
at night the great creative peace could.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
That and it's I know that personally and professionally, so
that's really cool. And you're totally right on about either
you're a Mets fan or Yankees fan in New York.
You're not both. And you know what always got me
was like, sometimes I go to like an Asia Giants game,
I see the split hats, I have the A's signature
(23:24):
like logo on one side in the Giants. It's like,
you'll never ever keep hat in New York. Nah.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Yeah, and you shouldn't see that in San Francisco or Oakland. Yeah,
well you won't see it anymore because the A's are gone,
but yeah, shouldn't do it. You don't really see it
in LA with the Dodgers and the Angels. So it's
gotta pick one. Cubs in white Sox. You can't be both,
you gotta right.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
Yeah, And you know the Yankees had that evil empire,
you know, like name and that said. You know Pete
Alonso obviously you know I'm a Metropolitan fan.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Ben.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
I love when you say Metropolitans. And he's a Sagittarius.
December seventh, nineteen ninety four, thirty one just had a
sadder return of New Beginnings. And you know he's really
liked by Mets fans. They really like him. And you
might remember he talked about Mercury coming out of retrograde
and it helped him break his mid season slump.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
I do remember that hit one of the big home
runs in the playoffs also last year for the Mets
against the I think it was against the Brewers if
I remember correctly. But yeah, absolutely, yeah, I always.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
You know, admired that he tuned into the astrology cycles.
And you know, I mean, we know sports, and you
know it's all a game of you know, like with
Scott Boris, he's a Scorpio. He's his agent. November two,
nineteen fifty two is Boris. So they're gonna have this
power and control thing and play one team against another,
(24:48):
and the Toronto Blue Jays against the Mets, and it
goes back and forth. And you talked about the previous
offers the Mets made him, So you know, Sagittarius are
adventurous and he might be curious to see what else
is out there on the horizon. But I know myself
and Mets fans would really like to see him return.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Yeah, it's well, it's a long shot. It is out
in the media, so maybe this will inspire the Mets.
Maybe it could have been one of those intentional weeks
to try to get the Mets to come back and
offer him a contract and get him to go back
and play for the Mets. Otherwise he wants some other
team to offer him a contract because you sign it,
you don't sign me. But there doesn't either throw the
rumor out. They're either going to sign with Toronto or
(25:30):
not right, and maybe he doesn't want to go there,
and so he wants somebody else to offer him a contract.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
It's all, you know, a waiting game. And when you
get Scott Morris who's a scorpio, and you know they
can really you know, play both sides and make it
really interesting and to see, you know me, the best
team win. It's just a little power hungry there.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Absolutely, we'll have a wonderful weekend, Andrea, thank you so much.
And you know you'll watch Benny Versus the Penny this weekend.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Absolutely looking forward to it. Dan, you're number one session.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
Well, thank you. I appreciate that. I know I have you.
You're locked in there in the bay. I know you're
gonna watch. I thank you. There she goes our friend,
friend of the show, Andrea. Time to pay off the
mallor riddle of that you thought I forgot, I didn't forget.
I just like give you a little more time to answer.
Here's the malor riddle of the day. A senator has
(26:21):
accused the Doyers of blank. That is the mallor riddle
of the day, The malor riddle of the day. I see,
does anyone know the answer? We go to the hoyploy
the great unlaunched for the answers. Uh, let's see hear.
Jay Dot in Utah says, the Dodgers accused of giving
(26:42):
fake fire extinguishers out keeping the McRib from being sold.
FERG Doog says, designing Tom Looney's wardrobe. No, I'm pretty
sure Blind Emmett and Inka Terror along with Blind Scott
designed Tom Looney's wardrobe. Who else do we have? Miguel
(27:03):
c with Miguel on fire has accused the Dodgers as
a center accused the Dodgers of shotenfreude. Who else do
we have page Down being communists from King Rory? That's
his answer. Andy in lion O Lake says, the senator
accused the Dodgers of mishandling funds, and that is the answer.
(27:25):
Turning the water heater off for the locker room bidets.
All right, let's see kidnapping the Linnbergh. Baby Wow, wait,
wait to go. That's old school from the grill. Sergeant
Eeke in Roseville, Minnesota said, being cheapskates is the answer.
Inca Terra says stealing the nineteen fifty five World Series.
(27:47):
Kelly in Des Moines, formerly in Nashville, formerly known as
Donut Kelly, now known as Pregnant Kelly says, talking about
more than foods, more foods than sports. I think I
don't know. Clam writes in says excessive wiping in the
team restroom. JT. The wing Man says the answer to
(28:09):
the mallet riddle of today keeping all the Dodger dogs
hostage from Laker fans. Who else buying a championship from Fudgie?
That's his answer. Mark in Santa Monica says, accuse them
about rageous prices at the concession stands. While that is
guilty as charge. John says, accused the Dodgers of using loopholes.
(28:30):
That's his answer. Who else do we have? Page Downt's here.
May May and B says the senator accused the Dodgers
of being big fat phonies. Wow. All right, see here
JT says something along Canadian poutine. All right, Loraina, do
you have an answer? Lorrada the Mallard riddle of the day.
(28:51):
A senator has accused the Dodgers of blank. Yeah, I
already know what this is. Ben.
Speaker 4 (28:56):
They're accusing them of overcharging for their meatch a lot.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
Oh is that really? How much do they charge for
those like twenty five bucks? That's how much should it cost?
Like a reasonable price? You know it's beer with tomato
juice pretty much, so like ten bucks? Ten bucks? Yeah,
that's ridiculous. Those are Disney prices there. Seriously, who do
you think you are? Well, that's incorrect the correct answer.
(29:21):
A senator is accused the Dodgers of exploitation of the
tax code in California.
Speaker 6 (29:31):
Yeah, a California state senator who's got to stick up
his tookis is taking some action against the Dodgers, saying
the Dodgers have been exploiting a lagoon.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
It's a big word lagoon that was never designed for this.
It is a matter of basic equity, the bloviating politicians said.
The state senator indicated the Dodgers have deferred one billion
dollar in wages over the last five years that this
deferral has resulted in a loss of one hundred and
(30:07):
thirty eight million in revenue to the state of California.
Now that's the quote on that. Now I live in
California and I pay my taxes. They overtax you in
this state. They don't give you what you should be
(30:28):
getting for your taxes. So screw them, screw the politicians,
that's what I say. Right, they can't even these politicians
can't even keep the water on, and the whole city
burns down. And these incompetent politicians, and they have plenty
of money. So I don't get my soapbox here. But
you know, good for the Dodgers. Yeah, And the reason
(30:50):
a lot of players don't want to come to California
is because of the taxes. Okay, So if they found
a loophole and put in your pie and smoke it, Okay,
that's what I want to say. Something else, but we're
on the radio. I can't curse in all that. We're
gonna get to Big Man's lame jokes of the week,
Big Man's lame jokes of the week, And is weed
(31:11):
Man there? Do we have our laugh track from Miami.
Is he standing by? He is not? Oh no, weed Man,
is there a line open? We gotta get a line open,
so we there's a line open. I just have tokay. Well,
all right, we will have to do all We've been
plugging jokes all week long. I know, all right, Well,
maybe he fell asleep. If not, we need a fake
weed Man. But big Man's lame Jokes of the week.
(31:32):
We'll do a wellness check on weed Man. Lame Jokes
of the Week is next.
Speaker 4 (31:36):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
Speaker 3 (31:42):
Live's a lie.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
My lover Malls, Today's Friday, Today's Friday, Today's Friday. Jerk
yourself away.
Speaker 5 (31:55):
I love you, don't worry, don't worry. It's just take that.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
That's ol Path. That's twenty five thousand dollars Olpath. Oh yes, yes, yes,
that's right there. I don't care. I'm leaving. Goodbye.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
The show is over.
Speaker 4 (32:12):
Goodbye.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
Bill Miller here reminding you that the Ben Mahler Show
is saved for posterity's sake, and you can be part
of that. I know it's so good. The first time,
wait until you hear it the second time. Even better,
Right after the show, our podcasts will be going up.
(32:38):
If you missed any of today's show, be sure to
listen to the podcast. Just search Ben mallor wherever you
get your podcast. Be sure to follow and review the
podcast rated five stars. Again, just search Ben mallor wherever
you get your podcast. You'll find the latest episode and
best of version posted right after we get off the air.
Ben has also asked me to have you watch his
(33:00):
Legling TV show, which will be on all weekend long
on Peacock and NBC Sports cable channels. There, Benny Versus
the Penny. Get you ready for the NFL weekend. Now
back to the jokes.
Speaker 4 (33:17):
Knock Knock, who's there? Blame Week? Blame week too.
Speaker 1 (33:20):
It's Big Ben's lame joke of the week and my
laugh track Everyone's favorite punching bag from Miami, Miami, Miami.
We say hello to weed Man Hippie. Hello, weed Man, Hippie,
hear I love you with me. Last we met. You
were a little late for work today, weed Man? What happened?
Speaker 3 (33:41):
Hi?
Speaker 1 (33:43):
What are you doing?
Speaker 5 (33:44):
I lost track of time?
Speaker 1 (33:47):
Are you sleeping? You never sleep? I thought you're weed man,
not heroin man. Aron, he'd be sleep a lot. Really,
I thought you stay up with you. Meth keeps you. Oh, meth,
I screwed that. I got my drugs mixed up. That
job by me? All right, here we go, h weed man.
(34:09):
These are actual jokes by actual listeners. If you would
like to send a joke in, send it care of
Ben Mahler Show at gmail dot com, Benmallor Show at
gmail dot com, and make sure you put lame jokes
or just jokes in the headline. That way, I will
be able to take your jokes out of all the
other email that I get on the regular and be
(34:30):
able to respond to you. All right, Now, Lizzo can
hide under a rock. How about that? Why? Well, she
actually used to hide under a boulder, but now she
can hide under a rock. That's Dennis in Detroit. What
did Lizzo say to her doctor when he told her
(34:51):
he wanted to talk about her weight?
Speaker 2 (34:54):
What?
Speaker 1 (34:56):
Well, Lizzo told the doctor that it was about twenty
minutes long and the chairs are too small for her.
George and Uvalde, when's the last time he went to
the doctor.
Speaker 3 (35:09):
We made I don't have it a long time.
Speaker 1 (35:13):
Has it been twenty years since you've been to the doctor. Yeah?
Oh man? All right? What did President Trump name his
proposed super duper space force doomsday weapon that was so
devastating it can eat an entire planet? What the Lizzo
trom parta tron? That's Frank in Fargo. Thank you, Frank.
(35:39):
Well exciting news here, weed Man. Did you hear that
scientists have said that the what the real cause is
of this polar vortex? What? Well, it turns out Lizzo
accidently left her freezer door open and that's why it's
cold in Pensacola, Florida and Louisiana and plays like that?
(35:59):
All right, and that's from Georgia and Uvalde, Texas. What
does Lizzo wear now after her massive weight loss? What
a big fat grin, A big fat grin. That was
from our friend Eke in Roseville, Minnesota. What is the
(36:20):
difference between Lorraine and Lizzo?
Speaker 4 (36:24):
What?
Speaker 1 (36:25):
Well, Lorena has love and hope in her soul. Lizzo
loves shoving food into her pie hole. That's from Bobby
in Florida. Thank you, Bobby. What did the doctors say
when weed Man said he can't smell what the doctor said.
In my opinion, you do smell that's that Tony in
(36:49):
the bay. We'll go back to back from Tony to bay.
What do our friends from Mexico call weed man in jail?
What el roach o is what they call a very
nice Uh, let's the here. Did you hear that weed
(37:10):
Man overdosed on viagra the other day? Big story here?
Speaker 5 (37:14):
Wow, I didn't hear that.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
Yeah, it was actually the definitely the hardest day of
your life. That's Danny in New Hampshire. Danny, I love
one of my favorite places to visit, Portsmouth, New Hampshire. Beautiful,
beautiful right there in the water, right next to the
main awesome. All right. Why did weed Man finally get
off the couch and take a gig as a plumber's assistant?
Speaker 5 (37:39):
Why, Well, it.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
Turns out weed Man, you heard you'd be working with
pipes and joints. That kind of excited me. That's Terry
and Saint Paul, Minnesota. Well. Saint Petersburg says there is
no deadline to repair Tropicana Field.
Speaker 5 (37:59):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
Wow. Yeah. Well well, also Miami has stated there is
no timeline for weed Man hippie to get a job.
So there is that George. George in Rochester, Minnesota. Last
time you had a job, weed Man, was it the
eighties or the nineties?
Speaker 5 (38:15):
A eight?
Speaker 1 (38:17):
Oh, my god, you have not had job since the eighties.
That is wild, my god, that is a long time.
All right. It was a two step process for weed
Man with the housing Commission. You hear about that. No,
what happened, Well, first you had to check all the
boxes and then you took one to live in. So
that was the other thing there. That's Dennis Dennis in Detroit.
(38:42):
Thank you, Dennis. Any jokes that were there?
Speaker 5 (38:44):
Cool?
Speaker 1 (38:45):
Negative? No? All right, No, I don't know if I
want to read that here, let me let me see. Yeah,
I get it. Make sure she's the message, but it's
in my brain. Here, I'll tell it to you in
your ear. All right, very good. The Eagles were selling
pints of snow that was on the field for fifty
(39:05):
dollars weed Man this week.
Speaker 5 (39:07):
Wow, that's crazy. You gotta be choky with that.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
Yeah, well you actually it turns out weed Man refused
to sell Miami snow because of possible drug trafficking charges.
So you you didn't do that, weed Man. That's George
and Rochester Minnesota. Thank you, George. After years of going barefoot,
Why is weed Man now walking around with a sexy
new hop in his step like John Travolta.
Speaker 5 (39:32):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
Why because he found an old shoe in the trash
that fits. That's why. There you go. I think that's
all we have time for. Thank you very much. There
is hey you weed man, there's lame. Jokes of the Week.
Dingo. It's our numb Bird three hour three of the
Original Recipe podcast. Major League Baseball. A topic of conversation
the Dodgers' latest free agent pickup, Roki Sazaki. He was
asked if he wanted to be a Michael Jordan like
(00:20):
player in his career or a Kevin Durant like player
from an opposing team? What are the reasons behind that? Also,
Pete Alonso is he heading to Toronto? And Ichiro has
a offer to the baseball writer that did not vote
for him for the Hall of Fame. We'll get to
all that and more right now. It's our number three
(00:45):
playing the game, the haggling game. Welcome in the beginning
of another hour of the Ben Mather Show. We are
in the air Ay where brothers and sisters in sports
talk as we roll on and roll strong, coast to coast, border,
(01:09):
the border and beyond on the beast and absurdly powerful
microphones of fs are emminating live from the Twister as
we twist words, words and words. We're broadcasting live from
the Tiraq dot Com studios. Tyraq dot Com will help
(01:29):
you get there and unmatched selection, fast free shipping, free
road hazard protection, and over ten thousand recommended installers tyraq
dot com The Way Tire Buying show.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
B.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
So I leave this hour, We're gonna change it up
a little bit. I realized that we are in the
middle of the NFL playoffs, but there's a couple of
stories in baseball that caught my attention, and I thought,
why don't we change it up a little bit this
hour and talk some baseball. And our lead is from
diamond adjacent. We are less than a month from playball.
(02:11):
Pitchers and catchers will report to spring training in a
couple of weeks, and then the first spring training game
is February twentieth in the Cactus League, and then shortly
after that in the Grapefruit League. There will be spring
training games. So things are settling in the calm before
the storm of Major League Baseball, when each team will
play including spring training, about two hundred games before the
(02:34):
playoffs start. But some interesting dirt from the post mortem
on one of the bigger free agent signings of the offseason.
If you did not see this, maybe not. We're getting
some new intel on the negotiation for the latest Japanese
phenom that chose to sign in Los Angeles, Roki Sazaki.
(02:57):
He received a pretty big time. He's got no major
league experience, obviously from the Dodgers, and we've learned about
the negotiation. He was talking to the Blue Jays, the Dodgers,
the Padres, some other teams, and he received a basketball
related line of questioning from teams. Throughout free agency, there
(03:18):
was a story going around, if you saw this or not,
caught my attention that some organizations asked Sazaki if he
was interested in following the career path of Kevin Durant
or Michael Jordan, wanting to figure out if he was
going to join a super team or did he want
to help build his own super team. So let us
(03:43):
discuss the question major League Baseball recruiting Dodd would turned
out to be Dodger pitcher Roki Sazaki asking him if
he wanted to be Michael Jordan or Kevin Durant. What
are the reasons for this? So I've got star Wars,
(04:04):
rotten bananas, and toad venom, and we will combine all
of these things together and we are going to make
garlic mashed potatoes, which I've been making a lot lately.
I found this, I told you I found this recipe
it's from one of my favorite restaurants. It's in San Francisco.
(04:26):
They used to have a place in La called The
Stink and Rose. Oh so good. Get a rip off recipe?
All right? So, first of all, my first thought on
this question, what are the reasons that somebody would ask
Rokie Sazaki if he wanted to be Michael Jordan or
Kevin Durant. Well, it's desperate times call for desperate measure.
It's kind of obvious right now it is more likely
(04:46):
than not. After several minutes of deliberation, I've determined this
is the Padres that probably did this. They have been
pants all off season by the Doyers. In fact, every team,
every single team in baseball has been publicly humiliated by
the bums. The Big Blue Wrecking Crew is making all
(05:11):
the teams look bad with their devilish charm and deferred money.
So this mystery team, I think it's the Padres, but
whoever they are, they turned to Star Wars Tactics. Star
Wars Tactics with Sazaki. Now what do I mean by that?
(05:31):
That's pretty simple here. This is if you if you
know the Star Wars films, and I'm old, so I
only like the first three. But it's a Jedi mind trick, right,
the Jedi mind trick attempting to implant suggestion into the
mind of Sazaki, and it's rather weak. And you talk
about not hitting the bulls eye. Let me explain something.
(05:56):
So ro Ki Sazaki, I don't know much about him.
I did some research because I have nothing but time.
And he's from a town in Japan of eighteen thousand people.
He didn't grow up in America. Why would he give
a rats ass whether or not he was Kevin Durant
or Michael Jordan. Tell me you don't understand who you're
(06:21):
talking to your target audience without telling me you don't
understand your target audience. My god, I mean absolute horse
feather feathers is what it is. Seriously, you think Sazaki
was a big NBA fan growing up, and like, oh,
Michael Jordan, he's what is he? Twenty three years old?
Michael Jordan's last year in the NBA was before he
(06:45):
was even alive, most likely right or right around that time.
I think Jordan last played in twenty oh two or
twenty oh three, something along those lines. Now, secondly to
the unemployment line, we go, we're hearing that as spring
training gets closer, negotiations are heating up between free agent
(07:06):
former Mets star Pete Alonzo, the Polar Bear Peter Alonzo
and Oha the Toronto Blue Jays. Fox are said to
be quote advancing qulose quote. Two sides are quote deep
in contract talks. However, the deal is not done yet.
(07:30):
The deal is not done yet. So Peter Alonso, as
we are doing the show right now in this moment,
Peter Alonso is in advanced talks with the Blue Jays.
Are you surprised by this? So I am not. It's
one of those deals getting later early. Pete Alonzo and
(07:52):
Scott Morris's agent rejected rejected a three year contract offer
from the Mets. So Alonzo rejects a three year offer
from the Mets, and they'd offered him a seven year
deal the year before. And the Mets are like, well,
we'll give you a three year deal, pay a lot
of money each year. You can get out of the
(08:13):
contract every year. And he said, I don't want that.
And so the Mets claim they've moved on and Toronto
is a temporary solution if he goes there to a
long term problem, A temporary solution to a long terruno
like we imagine it will be if he does sign
with the Blue Jays, it'll be a deal with a
bunch of opt outs. And this has become the norm.
(08:35):
You look at Carlos career, the cheating as one one
thousand and two, one thousand hole from Houston, he went
to Minnesota. Didn't want to go to Minnesota, but he
went there and he stayed there. And Matt Chapman went
to the Giants. He didn't really want to go there,
but he ended up staying there. And so there's these
deals that have popped up in recent years where guys
(08:56):
get caught where nobody wants them, and so they have
to go to a place they don't really want to
go because that's the only place they can go. It's
usually not a contender. And if you look at Alonzo right,
he's getting squeezed because of the double whamy. Now what
is the double whamy? I'll tell you he's a one
(09:17):
tool player. That's the first problem. All he does is
hit home runs, and he's middle aged. He didn't play well.
The last year's numbers have gone down. That is a
tough combo meal and so at this point. If you're
Peed Alonzo, you gotta pivot right. You're you're you're getting
rotten bananas. And as my mom taught me when I
was a little kid, when you get rotten, when when
(09:38):
the bananas go bad? Ben banana bread, banana bread, that's
Nate banana bread. So that's what Peter Alonzo is looking new.
He wants to make some nice, delicious Canadian banana bread.
Now I would advise him to not make banana bread
and just eat great the greatest thing ever to come
out of Canada poutine like that. You got to get
that Canadian poutine. That's where it's at. So that's what
(10:01):
Alonzo's going to do here. Get poutine, get banana bread,
go to Toronto and play well and then hope that
they trade you to a contender at the deadline. And
if not, if you play bad, you don't opt out
of the contract, and then that's that all right, Final five.
So Eachiro, each yourro Ichiro Suzuki. I'd have heard about him.
(10:25):
He's a Hall of Famer, and he said that he
would like to make an offer. Yeah, I wants to
make an offer to a baseball I think we have
the audio on this we have the audio. I think
we have the audio on this. So this is the
translator because Itchro I know he speaks English, but he
still uses a translator. I guess I don't know why,
but whatever, whatever floats your boat. And so he's at
(10:46):
the Hall of Fame news conference and Eachiro he had
a message through his interpreter for the person that did
not vote for him for the Hall of Fame. Let's
take a listen, all right, apparently we do not have
said audio. Well. Each Row said through his interpreter that
(11:07):
he wanted to have a drink. He wanted to have
a drink. We have it. Now, we have it. I'd
better late than ever, but here it is.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
I was able to receive many votes from the writers
and grateful for them.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
There's one writer.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
That I wasn't able to get a vote from. I
would like to invite him over to my house and
we have a drink together and we'll have a good chat.
Very very grateful to be here, and thank you.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Fun. So each Row that was an interpreter having fun.
But I think his interpreter has like he needs a
throat lozenge or something like that. Doesn't he need He's
got maybe garlic. All right, So each Row says he
wants to have a drink with the writer who did
not vote for him for the Hall of Fame. A
should the writer take him up on that? And B
how would that go? All right? So, uh, only if
(12:03):
each Row flies him to Japan, then you'd be like,
all right, fly me round trip to Japan. I want
like a week vacation to visit Japan. Then I'm good.
Otherwise forget about it. But they could also make a
made for TV miniseries like I have this vision in
my head. I'm an ideas guy, So how about this?
(12:24):
This is like a Netflix special. Each Road goes to
the hoot Nanny with three baseball scribes. They eat drink ayahuasca,
you know, the psychedelic tea with Joe Rogan and he's
there as well, he's like the celebrity add on. They
then smoke some toad venom, and at the very end
(12:44):
of the third episode, they go old school TV game
show to tell the truth. Will the real voter who
did not cast a ballot for each Row please stand up?
And the whole things pointless. Baseball writers have a hair
(13:05):
up their tailpiece when it comes to voting. One hundred percent.
I am convinced that somebody screwed up. Somebody was not
supposed to vote for Mariano Rivera, and they accidentally voted
for him the year that he got one hundred percent,
and they're bitter about that to this day. But Babe
Ruth never got one hundred percent, Hank Aaron didn't get
one hundred percent. Nobody, nobody has gotten one hundred percent.
(13:29):
So it's just the way they do things. It's the
ridiculousness of the baseball writers blowing smoke. So there is that,
right is the Ben Malard Show. There's some other audio
that we'll play later in the hour. I don't wanna
get ahead of the clock here, I'll screw the clock
up and I am on time. Mallard by the clock
for the clock, plausibly all about the clock. Don't want
(13:51):
to feel the pinch, the pinch of time. So we'll
move on with that. But we'll take your calls right
now eight seven, seven ninety nine on Fox. Well, you
in to the conversation, and it was great to see
my guy Fats in Philadelphia, who is up listening to
the show. And it's one of the great moments. And
I said, it's one of the top five moments if
(14:12):
you want to see it, if you're new to the show.
Years ago during COVID Fats in Philadelphia, one of our
big super fans in Philly and during the NFL Draft,
he lit himself on fire and screen my name literally
lit his chest on fire. And if you want to
see Fats and he's really lives up to his nickname Fats.
(14:35):
I re sent it out on X so you can
check that out on my feed at Ben Mallard. That's
at Ben Mallone also sent comments in be part of
the program if you would like, on the X machine
at Ben Maller. And we'll have right now the Mallor
Riddle of the day, the malor Riddle of the day.
(14:57):
Here's the Mallor riddle of the day. A senator has
accused the Los Angeles Dodgers of blank. Again, a senator
has accused the Los Angeles Dodgers of blank. That is
the malor riddle of the day. The answer, We'll get
(15:20):
to it and we will do it next.
Speaker 4 (15:26):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app Bill Miller.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
That would be me unless it's not. But hanging out
with you all night long. Lame jokes of the week
will be coming up later this hour. You can saleo
to Ben at Ben Mahller on the live show all
night Long under the cover of darkness at Ben Mahller
on X Kobeloop is in the producer's chair. Uh Bronco fan,
(15:59):
that's un Go fan. And Lorraine A he's hanging out
on the buttons. He's right there, a bunch of buttons
in front of her and a bunch of lights and
there's a VU meter all of that. You can say
hello to Lorraina at FSR Tech Queen. Now back to
(16:19):
the non stop chatterbox. Well, actually I do stop chattering occasionally.
It does not all all the time. There's some pauses
in there as well. That does happen. That's right, David
from Pennsylvania, right since says, who the hell is e dog?
(16:39):
Terrible terrible call fan of the Mets and Yankees. You
can't do that and that. Then he's in the Jerseys
and continues to mess up your punchline. Then he goes
on and blah blah, blah b he fed up my
whole mood. So e dog, I want and we have
not heard from his girl friend. She is not he
(17:01):
said earlier. He dog said that Melissa was going to
call up and her dad's Bobby g But we have
not heard from Melissa or or Bobby. Let's go to
Let's go with the phones. So we'll go to Let's
go to Tucson and we'll say hello to Jason who's
in the Grand Canyon. Say hello, Jason, welcome, Hey.
Speaker 5 (17:19):
How you doing? Uh, mister Mallard, it's such an honor
because I'm a truck driver. However, tonight I'm off and
I've had a few beers, and I really appreciate you
so much. I've been listening to you since Malor Malaysia
twenty sixteen. I think that was there was that one
(17:40):
moment where I became a member, but I really want
to be sworn in.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
Well, I'm gonna make your dream come true. That was
Marcel right, Yeah, that was I believe that was. What
kind of beer are you drinking over there? What do
you got going on? What kind of beer you got Jason?
Speaker 5 (17:59):
What kind of Bruce drey in mankind? It's hefadvice in
ten forty six German beer.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Oh you're going with that authentic German beer. That's great.
Are you eating anything? Are you just drinking the beer?
Anything that?
Speaker 5 (18:15):
Well? Well then I go back to the cours light.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Oh yeah, well you gotta mix it off, you know
that stuff that Yeah, that's the of course lies a
little cheaper than the others, you know, that's hope. I
understand completely. I got you. Well, thank you for listening
all these years.
Speaker 4 (18:28):
Man.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
That goes back a long time, twenty sixteen. That's a
that's a good run. All right, Well just repeat after me.
It's very simple. I'm gonna swear you in right now,
Jason live on the radio, AH six hundred six hundred
radio stations, and the satellite radio and the internet, the
whole thing. I mean, world famous. Everyone's gonna know your name.
(18:48):
Ozzie was right now is out in Western Australia. There's
a bunch of kangaroos around. He's turning up the audio
because he wants to hear you.
Speaker 5 (18:55):
I want to say beer, beer drinking. Brian. A lot
of people forget about him. I miss him, and he
was blind. Scott did a real number on that.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
Guy Scott Blind Scott has done a number on a
number of people. But you're bringing Brian, one of the
greats on the show. And I think you probably heard
did you hear Genie and Medford back in those days, Jason, you.
Speaker 5 (19:19):
Probably don't know about malor Malaysia right around that. And
I really I want to say that sometimes from Oregon
originally U Brian Wheeler was such a class act.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
I love Wheels. You know we were buddies. Did you
know that we used to you know, we come to
LA with the Blazers. We hang out and actually visited
your ben. Most people don't want to be my friend,
but he was one that did. He used to listen
to show a lot of those NBA guys. They travel
is obviously fly after games and stuff. So over the
there's a lot of those guys have listened to the show.
(20:01):
So it's it's great. He would he would say, Jason, Jason.
He would say, Jason that this call is amazing, astonishing
and astounding, is what he would say, because you do
those alliterations.
Speaker 5 (20:14):
Let me see you guys everywhere all over the place.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Just all right, all right, well let's do the place.
We must do the oath. Now you're buggarting the time.
There's people that want to talk. Let's do the oath.
Are you ready, Jason all I'm ready. I state your name. I, Jason,
do solemnly swear, solemnly swear that I will support and
defend the Ben Malor show.
Speaker 5 (20:39):
And support and defend the Ben Mallard Shore.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Against all enemies, against all enemies, foreign and domestic.
Speaker 5 (20:50):
Foreign and the mesket.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
And then I will obey the orders, and I will
obey the orders to peacefully fight back, to peacefully back
against hostile attacks.
Speaker 5 (21:06):
Against hostile attacks.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
From rival sports gas bags and blowhards.
Speaker 5 (21:12):
From rival from rival gas bags. And uh, nobody that
goes against the Ben Veeller ship.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
That was really well, said, uh, Lorenda? Does he pass
the test here? Lorena? I don't know.
Speaker 4 (21:30):
I thought it was beautiful at the he said domestic.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
Yes, you really nailed. You know what that is? That's
that German beer. Well, congratulations, Jason, you are now sworn
in in honor of the Great Lakes. Peter in Montana
who demanded Peter said, I need an oath. You need
an oath. You are now sworn in. Congratulations. All right, guys,
all right, don't don't drive anywhere. Stay home, don't go anywhere.
(21:57):
He did that so gracefully, very smooth. He's now a
virtual card carring member of the Malla Militia. I remember,
the Malord Militia is a peaceful organization. But every once
in a while, when my good name is sullied and
this show is under attack by rival programs, we must
form Voltron and we fight cyber warfare. Cyber warfare. So
(22:22):
thank you to Jason and Tucson. Let's go to Andrea,
who's in Berkeley and she is up next. Hello Andrea, Welcome.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
Hello Ben, how are you.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
You know Andrew. She's a famous caller on the show.
She's got the star charge, she's the sports sorceress, the
astrology lady, all of those things.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Yes, I love those names. Yes, well, welcome, welcome, How
are you?
Speaker 1 (22:46):
If I was any better, I would be sleeping, But
I'm here and I like staying up lates sory.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
No, I'm a night owl two. And you know I
appreciate the company.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Well, the most creative people, as you know, Andrea work
at night the great creative peace could.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
That and it's I know that personally and professionally, so
that's really cool. And you're totally right on about either
you're a Mets fan or Yankees fan in New York.
You're not both. And you know what always got me
was like, sometimes I go to like an Asia Giants game,
I see the split hats, I have the A's signature
(23:24):
like logo on one side in the Giants. It's like,
you'll never ever keep hat in New York. Nah.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Yeah, and you shouldn't see that in San Francisco or Oakland. Yeah,
well you won't see it anymore because the A's are gone,
but yeah, shouldn't do it. You don't really see it
in LA with the Dodgers and the Angels. So it's
gotta pick one. Cubs in white Sox. You can't be both,
you gotta right.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
Yeah, And you know the Yankees had that evil empire,
you know, like name and that said. You know Pete
Alonso obviously you know I'm a Metropolitan fan.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Ben.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
I love when you say Metropolitans. And he's a Sagittarius.
December seventh, nineteen ninety four, thirty one just had a
sadder return of New Beginnings. And you know he's really
liked by Mets fans. They really like him. And you
might remember he talked about Mercury coming out of retrograde
and it helped him break his mid season slump.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
I do remember that hit one of the big home
runs in the playoffs also last year for the Mets
against the I think it was against the Brewers if
I remember correctly. But yeah, absolutely, yeah, I always.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
You know, admired that he tuned into the astrology cycles.
And you know, I mean, we know sports, and you
know it's all a game of you know, like with
Scott Boris, he's a Scorpio. He's his agent. November two,
nineteen fifty two is Boris. So they're gonna have this
power and control thing and play one team against another,
(24:48):
and the Toronto Blue Jays against the Mets, and it
goes back and forth. And you talked about the previous
offers the Mets made him, So you know, Sagittarius are
adventurous and he might be curious to see what else
is out there on the horizon. But I know myself
and Mets fans would really like to see him return.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Yeah, it's well, it's a long shot. It is out
in the media, so maybe this will inspire the Mets.
Maybe it could have been one of those intentional weeks
to try to get the Mets to come back and
offer him a contract and get him to go back
and play for the Mets. Otherwise he wants some other
team to offer him a contract because you sign it,
you don't sign me. But there doesn't either throw the
rumor out. They're either going to sign with Toronto or
(25:30):
not right, and maybe he doesn't want to go there,
and so he wants somebody else to offer him a contract.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
It's all, you know, a waiting game. And when you
get Scott Morris who's a scorpio, and you know they
can really you know, play both sides and make it
really interesting and to see, you know me, the best
team win. It's just a little power hungry there.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Absolutely, we'll have a wonderful weekend, Andrea, thank you so much.
And you know you'll watch Benny Versus the Penny this weekend.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Absolutely looking forward to it. Dan, you're number one session.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
Well, thank you. I appreciate that. I know I have you.
You're locked in there in the bay. I know you're
gonna watch. I thank you. There she goes our friend,
friend of the show, Andrea. Time to pay off the
mallor riddle of that you thought I forgot, I didn't forget.
I just like give you a little more time to answer.
Here's the malor riddle of the day. A senator has
(26:21):
accused the Doyers of blank. That is the mallor riddle
of the day, The malor riddle of the day. I see,
does anyone know the answer? We go to the hoyploy
the great unlaunched for the answers. Uh, let's see hear.
Jay Dot in Utah says, the Dodgers accused of giving
(26:42):
fake fire extinguishers out keeping the McRib from being sold.
FERG Doog says, designing Tom Looney's wardrobe. No, I'm pretty
sure Blind Emmett and Inka Terror along with Blind Scott
designed Tom Looney's wardrobe. Who else do we have? Miguel
(27:03):
c with Miguel on fire has accused the Dodgers as
a center accused the Dodgers of shotenfreude. Who else do
we have page Down being communists from King Rory? That's
his answer. Andy in lion O Lake says, the senator
accused the Dodgers of mishandling funds, and that is the answer.
(27:25):
Turning the water heater off for the locker room bidets.
All right, let's see kidnapping the Linnbergh. Baby Wow, wait,
wait to go. That's old school from the grill. Sergeant
Eeke in Roseville, Minnesota said, being cheapskates is the answer.
Inca Terra says stealing the nineteen fifty five World Series.
(27:47):
Kelly in Des Moines, formerly in Nashville, formerly known as
Donut Kelly, now known as Pregnant Kelly says, talking about
more than foods, more foods than sports. I think I
don't know. Clam writes in says excessive wiping in the
team restroom. JT. The wing Man says the answer to
(28:09):
the mallet riddle of today keeping all the Dodger dogs
hostage from Laker fans. Who else buying a championship from Fudgie?
That's his answer. Mark in Santa Monica says, accuse them
about rageous prices at the concession stands. While that is
guilty as charge. John says, accused the Dodgers of using loopholes.
(28:30):
That's his answer. Who else do we have? Page Downt's here.
May May and B says the senator accused the Dodgers
of being big fat phonies. Wow. All right, see here
JT says something along Canadian poutine. All right, Loraina, do
you have an answer? Lorrada the Mallard riddle of the day.
(28:51):
A senator has accused the Dodgers of blank. Yeah, I
already know what this is. Ben.
Speaker 4 (28:56):
They're accusing them of overcharging for their meatch a lot.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
Oh is that really? How much do they charge for
those like twenty five bucks? That's how much should it cost?
Like a reasonable price? You know it's beer with tomato
juice pretty much, so like ten bucks? Ten bucks? Yeah,
that's ridiculous. Those are Disney prices there. Seriously, who do
you think you are? Well, that's incorrect the correct answer.
(29:21):
A senator is accused the Dodgers of exploitation of the
tax code in California.
Speaker 6 (29:31):
Yeah, a California state senator who's got to stick up
his tookis is taking some action against the Dodgers, saying
the Dodgers have been exploiting a lagoon.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
It's a big word lagoon that was never designed for this.
It is a matter of basic equity, the bloviating politicians said.
The state senator indicated the Dodgers have deferred one billion
dollar in wages over the last five years that this
deferral has resulted in a loss of one hundred and
(30:07):
thirty eight million in revenue to the state of California.
Now that's the quote on that. Now I live in
California and I pay my taxes. They overtax you in
this state. They don't give you what you should be
(30:28):
getting for your taxes. So screw them, screw the politicians,
that's what I say. Right, they can't even these politicians
can't even keep the water on, and the whole city
burns down. And these incompetent politicians, and they have plenty
of money. So I don't get my soapbox here. But
you know, good for the Dodgers. Yeah, And the reason
(30:50):
a lot of players don't want to come to California
is because of the taxes. Okay, So if they found
a loophole and put in your pie and smoke it, Okay,
that's what I want to say. Something else, but we're
on the radio. I can't curse in all that. We're
gonna get to Big Man's lame jokes of the week,
Big Man's lame jokes of the week, And is weed
(31:11):
Man there? Do we have our laugh track from Miami.
Is he standing by? He is not? Oh no, weed Man,
is there a line open? We gotta get a line open,
so we there's a line open. I just have tokay. Well,
all right, we will have to do all We've been
plugging jokes all week long. I know, all right, Well,
maybe he fell asleep. If not, we need a fake
weed Man. But big Man's lame Jokes of the week.
(31:32):
We'll do a wellness check on weed Man. Lame Jokes
of the Week is next.
Speaker 4 (31:36):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
Speaker 3 (31:42):
Live's a lie.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
My lover Malls, Today's Friday, Today's Friday, Today's Friday. Jerk
yourself away.
Speaker 5 (31:55):
I love you, don't worry, don't worry. It's just take that.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
That's ol Path. That's twenty five thousand dollars Olpath. Oh yes, yes, yes,
that's right there. I don't care. I'm leaving. Goodbye.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
The show is over.
Speaker 4 (32:12):
Goodbye.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
Bill Miller here reminding you that the Ben Mahler Show
is saved for posterity's sake, and you can be part
of that. I know it's so good. The first time,
wait until you hear it the second time. Even better,
Right after the show, our podcasts will be going up.
(32:38):
If you missed any of today's show, be sure to
listen to the podcast. Just search Ben mallor wherever you
get your podcast. Be sure to follow and review the
podcast rated five stars. Again, just search Ben mallor wherever
you get your podcast. You'll find the latest episode and
best of version posted right after we get off the air.
Ben has also asked me to have you watch his
(33:00):
Legling TV show, which will be on all weekend long
on Peacock and NBC Sports cable channels. There, Benny Versus
the Penny. Get you ready for the NFL weekend. Now
back to the jokes.
Speaker 4 (33:17):
Knock Knock, who's there? Blame Week? Blame week too.
Speaker 1 (33:20):
It's Big Ben's lame joke of the week and my
laugh track Everyone's favorite punching bag from Miami, Miami, Miami.
We say hello to weed Man Hippie. Hello, weed Man, Hippie,
hear I love you with me. Last we met. You
were a little late for work today, weed Man? What happened?
Speaker 3 (33:41):
Hi?
Speaker 1 (33:43):
What are you doing?
Speaker 5 (33:44):
I lost track of time?
Speaker 1 (33:47):
Are you sleeping? You never sleep? I thought you're weed man,
not heroin man. Aron, he'd be sleep a lot. Really,
I thought you stay up with you. Meth keeps you. Oh, meth,
I screwed that. I got my drugs mixed up. That
job by me? All right, here we go, h weed man.
(34:09):
These are actual jokes by actual listeners. If you would
like to send a joke in, send it care of
Ben Mahler Show at gmail dot com, Benmallor Show at
gmail dot com, and make sure you put lame jokes
or just jokes in the headline. That way, I will
be able to take your jokes out of all the
other email that I get on the regular and be
(34:30):
able to respond to you. All right, Now, Lizzo can
hide under a rock. How about that? Why? Well, she
actually used to hide under a boulder, but now she
can hide under a rock. That's Dennis in Detroit. What
did Lizzo say to her doctor when he told her
(34:51):
he wanted to talk about her weight?
Speaker 2 (34:54):
What?
Speaker 1 (34:56):
Well, Lizzo told the doctor that it was about twenty
minutes long and the chairs are too small for her.
George and Uvalde, when's the last time he went to
the doctor.
Speaker 3 (35:09):
We made I don't have it a long time.
Speaker 1 (35:13):
Has it been twenty years since you've been to the doctor. Yeah?
Oh man? All right? What did President Trump name his
proposed super duper space force doomsday weapon that was so
devastating it can eat an entire planet? What the Lizzo
trom parta tron? That's Frank in Fargo. Thank you, Frank.
(35:39):
Well exciting news here, weed Man. Did you hear that
scientists have said that the what the real cause is
of this polar vortex? What? Well, it turns out Lizzo
accidently left her freezer door open and that's why it's
cold in Pensacola, Florida and Louisiana and plays like that?
(35:59):
All right, and that's from Georgia and Uvalde, Texas. What
does Lizzo wear now after her massive weight loss? What
a big fat grin, A big fat grin. That was
from our friend Eke in Roseville, Minnesota. What is the
(36:20):
difference between Lorraine and Lizzo?
Speaker 4 (36:24):
What?
Speaker 1 (36:25):
Well, Lorena has love and hope in her soul. Lizzo
loves shoving food into her pie hole. That's from Bobby
in Florida. Thank you, Bobby. What did the doctors say
when weed Man said he can't smell what the doctor said.
In my opinion, you do smell that's that Tony in
(36:49):
the bay. We'll go back to back from Tony to bay.
What do our friends from Mexico call weed man in jail?
What el roach o is what they call a very
nice Uh, let's the here. Did you hear that weed
(37:10):
Man overdosed on viagra the other day? Big story here?
Speaker 5 (37:14):
Wow, I didn't hear that.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
Yeah, it was actually the definitely the hardest day of
your life. That's Danny in New Hampshire. Danny, I love
one of my favorite places to visit, Portsmouth, New Hampshire. Beautiful,
beautiful right there in the water, right next to the
main awesome. All right. Why did weed Man finally get
off the couch and take a gig as a plumber's assistant?
Speaker 5 (37:39):
Why, Well, it.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
Turns out weed Man, you heard you'd be working with
pipes and joints. That kind of excited me. That's Terry
and Saint Paul, Minnesota. Well. Saint Petersburg says there is
no deadline to repair Tropicana Field.
Speaker 5 (37:59):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
Wow. Yeah. Well well, also Miami has stated there is
no timeline for weed Man hippie to get a job.
So there is that George. George in Rochester, Minnesota. Last
time you had a job, weed Man, was it the
eighties or the nineties?
Speaker 5 (38:15):
A eight?
Speaker 1 (38:17):
Oh, my god, you have not had job since the eighties.
That is wild, my god, that is a long time.
All right. It was a two step process for weed
Man with the housing Commission. You hear about that. No,
what happened, Well, first you had to check all the
boxes and then you took one to live in. So
that was the other thing there. That's Dennis Dennis in Detroit.
(38:42):
Thank you, Dennis. Any jokes that were there?
Speaker 5 (38:44):
Cool?
Speaker 1 (38:45):
Negative? No? All right, No, I don't know if I
want to read that here, let me let me see. Yeah,
I get it. Make sure she's the message, but it's
in my brain. Here, I'll tell it to you in
your ear. All right, very good. The Eagles were selling
pints of snow that was on the field for fifty
(39:05):
dollars weed Man this week.
Speaker 5 (39:07):
Wow, that's crazy. You gotta be choky with that.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
Yeah, well you actually it turns out weed Man refused
to sell Miami snow because of possible drug trafficking charges.
So you you didn't do that, weed Man. That's George
and Rochester Minnesota. Thank you, George. After years of going barefoot,
Why is weed Man now walking around with a sexy
new hop in his step like John Travolta.
Speaker 5 (39:32):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
Why because he found an old shoe in the trash
that fits. That's why. There you go. I think that's
all we have time for. Thank you very much. There
is hey you weed man, there's lame. Jokes of the Week.
Host
Ben Maller
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