The Fifth Hour – A White Knight for the Maller Mansion

Subscribe directly to the Fifth Hour podcast here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-fifth-hour-with-ben-maller/id1478163837. The dark cloud from 2019 has returned and found a new home at the Maller Mansion. Panic in the Maller household has led Ben to the edge of the cliff. All is not lost though as Ben's reliable wingman returns with some promising news and a band-aid that could stop the bleeding. The fellas take a look at some recent news, acknowledge a new and improved studio for Ben, and they address some questions from the audience. All that and a farewell to a departed commissioner inside the first episode of the Fifth Hour with Ben Maller in 2020.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Funderstruck adjective shocked and amazed by the power of fun
on Carnival Riding Bolt, the world's first roller coaster would see.
Brian got funderstruck so hard his ninety three year old
grandmother felt it three thousand miles away in Nebraska and
immediately booked the cruise Get Funderstruck starting at two eighty nine.

(00:20):
Carnival Shoes Fun Cruiser in the US, always per person,
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apply full detail on Carnival dot com ships, Red Street, Bahamas,
Panama Boom. If you thought four hours a day, twelve
hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the
last remnants of the old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness.

(00:42):
He treats crackheads in the ghetto Cutter the same as
the rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow To Clearinghouse
of Hot Takes, Break Free for something Special. The Fifth
Hour with Ben Maller starts right now. Toda. We are
back in twenty twenty, another year of podcasting away, our

(01:03):
first full year on the standalone podcast where we can
say fuck and asshole and shit in all the words
we can't say on the radio. So we're excited about that. Well,
I'm excited about that. Now. A lot of people have
bets on whether or not David Gascon will make it
through the whole year. I am betting on him not
making it through the entire year, but he is starting
the year. I believe by the end of twenty twenty

(01:25):
we will have a new podcast sidekick producer, a guy.
But that's my prediction. But he is here for now,
and we do this show because management wants us to
do the show. But four hours or not enough. Right,
we are in the air everywhere, as I like to say,
and really with the vast power of iHeart the global
reach of podcasting. This podcast has heard weekly on the

(01:48):
iHeart podcast network and available as you know because you
found the podcast wherever you find your podcast, and tell
your friend, tell a friend, tell a friend, word of mouth,
advertising five stars on the podcast, give us a review,
a positive review, boy, That would help us out a lot.
That would be really cool. And I'd like to know
I never want to win awards, but I would like

(02:10):
to try to win one this year because that would
annoy people. That would annoy people in management if this
podcast actually ends up winning, is an award winning podcast,
and I don't think there's that much competition in the
podcast game in terms of actual good There's a lot
of podcasts, but there's not a lot of crappy ones.
So I'd like to try to be one of the
good ones. We might have to wait till Gascon leaves
to win an award, but well, I'm excited. I'm looking

(02:32):
forward to this guest guy. This one, anyway will be good.
And how annoyed would you be if you actually ended
up winning an award for this podcast with me on it. Well,
it would be nice to rub it in the face
of management. That would be be good. But yeah, I
mean it would be disappoint It would be mostly me,
of course, if we win, it would be me. I'm
just looking at Apple iTunes right now. Another great gem

(02:54):
by Ben and David came for the Mallard State for
the Gascon. These are just amazingly high glowing reviews. Now,
can you read the ones that aren't from your dad
and your mom? No, Gascon is a breath of fresh air.
That's Gascon is great, marvelous and faking all this up here,
You're making all yourself. Schm this is Marconi Award winning.

(03:15):
That's stop. This is really good. You want me to
read the ones I'm getting for you? No, I don't
get really care about though, you know you only care
about the posit I care about this. This is positive podcasting.
Courtesy of Apple iTunes. I guess God must have photos
of someone, photos of them frolican with farm animals. Uh

(03:36):
guess Gunn does he? What? What color kneepads does he wear? Wow?
How about that? What are the odds of me lasting
throughout this season? One? Are the betting odds on me
staying and going? All right? So now I I have
thought about this, and you are the boy that cries wolf.
You're you're one of these people that's never happy, You're
never satisfied, you always want more and all right stuff

(03:58):
just very hard working. Yeah, those are all those things.
You can plain a lot and all that. I mean,
I think we all know that. I think is my standard.
That is gask On. That's how you operate. But as
far as the actual real world odds, I think you
talk to talk, but you don't often walk the walk
in terms like because you've been telling me for like
how many months? Have you been telling me I'm out

(04:18):
of here, I'm done, I'm leaving. I'm not gonna stay here,
and you're back. So you got a factor that in plus.
Are you hirable? You know, can you get a better job?
Would someone want to hire you for a better job?
That's an open question. Yes, No, it's not an open question.
That's it's a pretty easy question to answer. That's a
that's a open, closed question, Ben Maller. That's yes, or

(04:39):
known as absolutely yes. All right, So I'm gonna set
the odds at minus one ninety that you are gone.
That's good. All right, that's a sixty five percent chance
the implied odds on that that you're out of here.
That's good. That means if I am out of here,
that means them up to bigger and better things. Well
maybe not. You know, leaving away on a podcast, you

(05:01):
might get that memo. I got compensation in these tough
economical times. It's called pro bono work. Is you're laying
the foundation to a magical thing. I've tried to tell
you that you don't understand that concept. So you admit
that I'm a man of the community, a man of
the people. No, because you all you do is complain
about it. Well, there's things that aren't up to snuff,

(05:23):
and you pointed out you're You're no different than Russell Wilson,
who every time he visits a sick kid has to
put a photo on Twitter. God forbid, he visits a
sick kid and doesn't put a photo on Twitter. Wow,
there's nothing wrong. It's almost like he does it to
put photos on Twitter. You know what I'm saying, Well,
there's nothing wrong with that. It'd be a little bit
different if I had there's something wrong with that. It's
kind of it's kind of like Kobe and an Eye

(05:44):
and are talking over each other. Nobody's listening you. But
it's like Kobe Bryant. I I goofed on Kobe a lot.
But Kobe was very modest. He visited children's hospitals all
the time. But you heard from nurses and people that
worked at the hospital. You didn't hear from Kobe because
he didn't do the whole photo thing. That's what are
you trying to say. I am saying you are looking

(06:06):
for attention. You are whining and complaining in all that industry.
It is all about attention, Ben Mallar. It's all about talent, guys,
It's all about talent. It's people in the room. Look
at me, Listen to me. I need twenty four to
fifty hours worth of content every week so people can
listen to me. Pat me on the backside, fly me
up to Seattle, pay for my Wow, you're so jealous.

(06:29):
You are so jelly. Lick my toes. I'm peanut butter,
you're jelly. Is how this is gonna work? Okay? Wow?
Which is ironic because your your nickname around Fox is
the jellyfish. No, actually, people people call me around here
the whiteboy version of DK Metcalf and all. Really so
not really committed, but just getting by on athletic ability.

(06:53):
But you don't know you're gonna actually make it. You
occasionally play well, but not consistently. I got it. Okay, good,
I'm thinking a star in the make Ben Maller. But yeah,
you've been saying that. But you know, look at me.
I was called a rising star and I'm forced to
work with you. You're You're buried into the moonlight. So
it's unfortunate, but you know what, I bring you out

(07:13):
of that darkness into the daylight. And that's why we
have the Fifth Hour with Ben Maller. Well, we have
the Fifth Hour with Ben Maller because I am doing
the show. No, we have the Fifth Hour with Ben
Maller because I talked and bugged our vice president of Programming,
Scott Shapiro, and I said, hey, we'd like to launch
the Fifth Hour with Ben Maller. Can we make this happen?

(07:34):
Can we talk to the uppity ups at iHeart Radio.
They gave me the green light and I finally encourage
you to do it. Get off your fucking ass, roll
out of bed and start doing something. So now we
made content in twenty nineteen, and now here's to a
brand new year and a brand new year. Lethargic, Ben
Maller turns over a new leaf. Well, I mean that's

(07:55):
a nice revisionist history. Look at what happened here. The
reality is, though, that I chose. I was asked by
the company to do this, and I said, okay, I
would like to do it, and here we are. That's
not true. You don't do anything unless it benefits you
and you get paid for it. It benefits me because
if the company wants me to do something and I
do it, they keep me gamefully employed. That's how it works. Stupid,

(08:17):
But you're not getting paid for this, So how are
you going to be employed by doing something for free?
Because I'm giving them free content they can sell and
make money. Go work for Nike. Fox Sports Radio has
the best sports talk lineup in the nation. Catch all
of our shows at Foxsports Radio dot com and within
the iHeartRadio app. Search FSR to listen live. Get right

(08:38):
to the romance and find the way to wow this
Valentine's with one hundred Flowers dot com. From classic roses
and bouquets to decadent chocolate covered berries, gourmet treats and more. Surprise,
You're Valentine with one hundred Flowers dot com right now.
Get the eighteen stem enchanted rose metally for thirty nine
ninety nine, or upgrade to twenty four red roses for

(08:59):
ten dollars more. Go to one hundred flowers dot com
slash tune in. That's one eight hundred flowers dot com
slash tune in. If I could be you and you
could be me for just one hour, if you could
find a way to get inside each other's mind, Walk
a mile in my shoes. Welcome mile in my shoes. Shoes.

(09:21):
We've all felt left out, and for some that feeling
lasts more than a moment. We can change that. Learn
how it belonging begins with us. Dot org brought to
you by the ACT Council. Welcome mile in machines. What
grows in the forest trees, Sure no one else grows

(09:42):
in the forest. Our imagination, our sense of wonder, and
our family bonds grow too, because when we disconnect from
this and connect with this, we reconnect with each other.
The forest is closer than you think. Find a forest
are you and start exploring? I discover the fourth dot

(10:03):
org brought to you by the United States Fourth Service
and the AD Council. Yeah all right, let's get to it.
You're wasting time here. We have now. You're worried about time.
I am worried about time. We have Betty's Pistro. We've
got the Great Flood. Here's the menu, the Great Flood.
Lawyer up the stern message, study this the grab bag,
and don't stick to sports. We'll start out with the

(10:25):
Great Flood. Now, I have not talked about this on
the radio, but I've been experiencing a homeowner's nightmare at
the mallar mansion. Now, if you've listened to me over these,
you know that the original Mallor mansion, which is still underwater,
but now the second Mallor Mansion is also underwater. I
have been dealing with a flood in the walls of

(10:48):
the Mallor mansion. I'm talking mold. I'm talking extreme water damage.
So let me tell you what happened here. We had
a leak in front of the refridge raider. So we
called a refrigerator repairman to come look at it, and
he examined every part of the refrigerator and said, nothing's

(11:10):
it's working fine. So you might have a leak in
the wall. So we we contacted the insurance. They came out,
they looked at everything, and indeed there was We had
a plumber, first of all, come out and there was
a leak in the wall between the kitchen and my
living room at the like a galley kitchen and behind

(11:31):
it is the is the living the living rooms. And
so anyway, there was a leak there and his cost
literally thousands of dollars of damage. The water started, it
got so I leaked out of the wall in the
a little crack in the wall, but it went under
the flooring that I have in the living room that

(11:52):
all got soaked and has to be replaced. The dry
wall has to be replaced, the kitchen, even the kitchen
in sink like under the kitchen sink around the dishwasher area,
that all got destroyed. So they're gonna have to do
demo on my house while I'm living in the house.
While all this is going on, I'll be trying to

(12:13):
sleep because I do an overnight radio show, and they'll
be chopping down drywall and ripping out the refrigerator and
all this stuff. And we're not gonna have a kitchen
for like a month because of the mold and the
gallons of water that went everywhere. That's my life, guest,
gone the hell I've been living here. You want you
want a violin? I'm playing the world? Can you play

(12:36):
a violins? You don't know how to play a violin,
You're not new watching enough to play a violin. Schmuck
for you. It's just one note. You know. You gotta
look at the silver lining in this is that because
you want to have access to the kitchen, that means
your dumb ass won't burn your tongue eating a shitty pizza.
This is the best part of this entire story is
you will not be anywhere near a kitchen. Well, you're wrong. Um,

(13:00):
that's not the best. But first of all, I sent
you a message to the other day. How many hours
did I go between food? Yeah, I though it was
fifty four hours I went that's called out food. That's
called photoshop. This is not called photoshop. I took a
screenshot of my iPhone five ass and send it to
you because you you were trying to be braggadocious about

(13:22):
how you had gone on twenty five hours. Twenty five
twenty five hours. I've lost nine pounds since the month
of December. You should give me a pat on the bag.
I'm getting get stronger, I'm getting leaner. You're such a narcissist.
You are such a goddamn narcissist, is what you are.
I'm not the one complaining on a podcast about my

(13:42):
hardship in life, about my my kitchen. Your house has
been a praise for over a million and a half dollars,
and now you're bitching on a podcast about it. My
house is not worth a million dollars. That's that's false,
that's a lie. That's another gas gone lie. No, uh,
let's see hoole on. If you want to email the
podcast at real fifth hour, I can give you the

(14:04):
praise value for Ben Maller's house. Oh you want people
to email us again? I thought you'd think that would
be correl or anybody to want anybody who's powerful that
likes this show. And I have a very powerful audience, gascout.
I don't talk about those people, but TV TV big shots, sportscasting,
big shots, moguls of business people that are big Mallard
Militia fans. But on the down low, do not send
any email there that is private because Gascon, the scrooge,

(14:29):
the narcissist, the spoiled brat over there, the conceited one,
he will see those emails. Well we can. I can
type it in on zillo if you'd like screencap shit,
put it on social media, Instagram, Twitter, That would be nice.
To put my house on social media, play my fucking
car on social media. I didn't put your goddamn license
plate on social media, and I did not. That's a lie,

(14:52):
I'll bet you Tacos. I didn't know. You cannot see
your license plate in that photo. You've already lost two
rounds of tacos to me, so I will not you know,
you know you would not win that one. So anyway,
my favorite start of my favorite part of the story, guest,
And you say your favorite part is that I won't
eat burned pizza, My favorite part is the scumbag insurance

(15:12):
company that I am having to deal with here. I
would like you to guess how much of the damage
the insurance company. I pay a lot of money every
month for homeowners insurance. How much are they covering from
all of this damage? The flooring has to be replaced,
the drywall, they have to do some work removing mold
inside the walls in two rooms in my house. So

(15:34):
how much of this is the insurance going to cover?
So I won't go a dollar amount, I'll go percentage
and I'll say forty five percent, So you will leave
forty five percent now I would forty five percent is
not a lot, you know, it's it's essentially dollar for
dollar they are covering zero. Whoa they are not paying
a goddamn scent to cover the damage. Why? And I

(15:56):
would like to say right now, if you own a home,
homeowners insurance is a total fucking scam. It is a
goddamn scam and it's bullshit. And I am so sick
and tired of this crap, which is what we've been
kneeling with. My wife's been taking care of a lot
of it, but I've been hearing what's been going on here.
And they so the insurance check this out. They claim

(16:18):
that since the leak at the Mallard mansion lasted for
more than thirty days, they don't have to pay any money,
not a fucking cent because this one over thirty days.
And the insurance says that, yeah, we have a deal,
it's in the contract. How can they prove that it
was more than thirty days, Well, they claim because of
the damage done to the flooring and inside the walls.

(16:41):
They say it's our responsibility to take care of our home. Apparently,
what's in the goddamn walls? I mean, want a hustle?
No pop goes Louise. Also, they got forensic insurance claimers
that are trying to knock you off. Well, here's what happens.
So the was in the wall and we didn't know

(17:02):
about it, and then as soon as it started leaking
out of the wall, you know, when you noticed there's
a leak because I don't know if how are you
supposed to know what's in the fucking walls. Yeah, so
once the water came out, we were alerted to it.
We're in like ten days. We contacted the insurance and
these assholes who I hope all burn in hell. They said, well, sorry,

(17:27):
apparently it had been leaking in the walls undetected. Because
again I guess we have to cut our drywall down
and leave it. Well, maybe I just didn't even replace
the drywall. We'll just have all the pipes exposed. That way,
if something breaks we can we can report it right
away to the insurance. Well, you know, you have a
you've lived a charmed life with sickle fans and lap

(17:48):
dogs and boot liquors. This is one of the rare
times that you should call up your dogs to come
defend you. What insurance company is this? It is safe
Co Insurance. Is the name the insurance company that is
the one right here? What I have relationships with people
at Safeco Insurance? You do? I do? Really? One thousand percent,

(18:09):
honest to go? Are you the reason that they are
not covering any of this? No? But do you know
what I could be your white Knight I could be.
Then well, if you are my white Knight guest, gut,
I will buy you tacos after tacos after talking that
damage or you can't. Yeah, it is. It has been
a nightmare here, and I apparently this goes on all

(18:30):
the time with insurance companies that that what judge, what
courtroom determined that it's the homeowner's responsibility. Now, I wonder
if I would maybe I'll call Bill handle handle them
the law and see if I have a case here.
But I looked up on the internet. Apparently this kind
of thing happens all the time with homeowners where there's
leaks in the wall and it goes undetected, and then

(18:52):
the insurance company claims, well, it's not our fault. You know.
It is amazing that that that that their lawyers were
able to convince some courtroom somewhere. How is that fair?
How are you supposed to know if there's a leak
in the wall when there's drywall and you can't see
in there. That's unbelievable. But it's an amazing scam, is
what their villains. Their villains is what they are. I

(19:15):
feel I feel sorry for you, and it sounds like
your mansion. One of two has just gone snap, crackle pop,
it has. I remember there's a movie to early Tom
Hanks movie called The Money Pit. Yeah, and there's a classic,
very good movie, you know million it's old, dated now.

(19:36):
But they bought a house. They were all excited, this
big mansion, and they had to do some work to
fix it up, and everything fell apart. And it feels
like everything the last couple of weeks, it feels like
everyone's dying and and everything's falling apart like it's it's
raining down fire. It's you know, one of those rough stretches.
But I'm sure it'll be temporary and then we'll get

(19:56):
back to reality. But that was a real kick in
the nuts. So if anybody in the Malamushiah, if you
want to contact me, if you're you're in the Los
Angeles area or between LA and Vegas and you want
to you know, do a solid for me with the
drywall or well, no, I'm just I'm throwing it out there,
guess because I need some help here. You know, I'll pay,

(20:18):
but I mean, if you give me a deal and
make me a better deal than I could get somewhere else,
let's talk. You know, let's talk. I got I need.
I need a flooring guy or a woman. Do a
lot of women do Florida mostly guys? Yeah, So I
need like I'm thinking about, like a tile floor expert. Plumbing.
I would need that the plumbing has already been repaired.

(20:39):
We paid for that. That was only a few hundred dollars. Fortunately,
that was the cheapest part of all this. And also
like a drywall person, someone good with the drywall. We've
got the demo. The demo is going to take place here,
so we need the other stuff. Yeah. So if I
can smuggle and finagle away to get you some money
from the insurance company, what do I get out of this? Wow?

(21:04):
So you're trying. Now, what percentage are we looking at here? Well,
I mean something's better than zero, So, well, something is
better than zero. I don't know what do you want?
I don't know. I think if I can get you
fifty percent covered. Yeah, if I can get you fifty
percent covered, here we go. I will need to during

(21:24):
the month of July, the baseball season. I need a
co host with you for a week, well, the Overnight show. Yes,
do you expect to be paid for this? No? Okay? Yeah?
All right, as long as you don't want to be paid, Yeah,
you can hang out. I'm sure not not hang out,
I said co host. Well, you know you got guys

(21:47):
that hang out with you during that show. I'm not
gonna add a fucking four. I see. You want to
be the fifth wheel, is what you'd like to know.
I'll be riding shotgun. All right, Yeah, that's a deal.
You get me fifty sent on this claim. You make
some phone calls there, and one week in the summertime

(22:07):
it is side by side Manoamano radio. Now, the unfortunate
thing is I got to do all the legworks. Since
you mentioned your wife is handling most of this, so
I need to contact her because you don't know what's
up from down. Well, I do know what's up, but
my wife knows. I do not handle these situations involving
loss of great money very well. Yeah, I do not.
I admit that that's one of my flaws. I know

(22:31):
there's a lot of reasons for that. I'm my psychologist
that tells me because I work in radio and I'm paranoid.
When I started in radio, everyone lost their job and
I'm like, oh, I can't afford this I'm gonna lose
my job, you know, the whole thing. So but fortunately
I think everything will be okay. But you're gonna help
out and make it better than okay, because otherwise I'm
gonna have to take out a loan to pay for
all this. Gup, we're not thousands and thousands of dollars,

(22:53):
it's crazy. Yeah, I mean, the only good thing is
at least you have a lot of equit in your home,
so that home equity, you'll be able to write off
a portion of it. So yeah, I guess the one
thing you could do if you don't save the day
like a night and Shining Armor guests gun, the one
thing you could do here is you could claim a
catastrophe on your insurance. I think Trump didn't take that out,
so you can still get a little money back. But

(23:14):
I don't want to do that. I want I want
the insurance to do I pay every month for the insurance.
I'd like them to do their fucking job. Yeah, and
this is tough too, because your FICO score isn't as
good as mine either. So here we got there's a
humble brag, the narcissist part, the pretentious one right there,
taking because I was in banking when I was in
my young twenties, and so your young twenties as your
old twenties. Pico is at a blistering eight hundred, while

(23:36):
yours is that like a thirty six four. Here's the deal.
You try to appeal to the white collar work. Oh,
of course, that's where the I appeal to the blue
callar factory work, or the truck driver, the security guard,
the people that are out there salt of the earth,
the people driving eighteen wheelers, working in warehouses. I'm their guy,

(23:57):
I'm their champion. You are trying to get people that
don't even listen to podcast, those those rich fat cats
to listen. Well, you're usually those are the ones writing
the check, and that's priority number one. How's that working
out for you? Wow, it's it's not it's to be determined,
to be determined. Yes, we're in progress. Anyway. That's my
story about the Mallard flood. And well, I guess stay tuned.

(24:21):
That's a good, good cliffhanger. Will gas guard who talks
a good game be able to pull out some kind
of agreement with the insurance company. We will find out.
This is amazing. In twenty nineteen. We talked about you
never having to be admitted to the hospital for a
major surgery. Then it happened boom, and now we're looking

(24:44):
for for me to be your white Knight again again.
Cape Crusader, Now you were the grim reaper in that instance.
You you were the one that created my gallbladder malfunctioning
well by bringing it up. Everybody loves a heal, and
IL was just that I was playing to the crowd,
and I did so accordingly. Be sure to catch live
editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am

(25:06):
Eastern eleven pm Pacific. Get right to the romance and
find the way to wow this Valentine's with one hundred
Flowers dot Com. From classic roses and bouquets to decadent
chocolate covered berries, gourmet treats and more. Surprise your Valentine
with one eight hundred flowers dot com right now. Get
the eighteen stem enchanted rose metally for thirty nine ninety

(25:28):
nine or upgrade to twenty four red roses for ten
dollars more. Go to one hundred flowers dot com slash
tune in. That's one eight hundred flowers dot com slash
tune in. Look to your children's eyes to see the
true magic of a forest. It's a storybook world for them.
You look and see a tree. They see the wrinkled

(25:48):
face of a wizard with arms outstretched to the sky.
They see treasuring pebbles. They see a windy path that
could lead to adventure, and they see you. They're fearless.
Guide is this fascinating world. Find a forest near you
and start exploring at discover the Forest dot org brought
to you by the United States Forest Service and the
AD Council. Look to your children's eyes to see the

(26:11):
true magic of a forest. It's a storybook world for them.
You look and see a tree, They see the wrinkled
face of a wizard with arms outstretched to the sky.
They see treasuring pebbles. They see a windy path that
could lead to adventure, and they see you. They're fearless.
Guide to this fascinating world. Find a forest near you

(26:33):
and start exploring at Discover the Forest dot org, brought
to you by the United States Forest Service and the
AD Council. All right, moving on, we have a stern message.
I mentioned everyone seems like they're dying here. I've had
some friends, people I worked with that have died in January,
which which sucks. And my buddy Alex Russo, radio guy
in LA died and you gotta go to his funeral

(26:54):
next week, and you know which, I guess is better
to go to the funeral than be the one at
the funeral who's in the box. But anyway, David Stern,
long time NBA commissioner. He passed away while I was
on hiatus and I didn't get a chance. I was
going to do a six line tribute, but with the
football playoffs going on, I just I didn't think it

(27:14):
would work in radio. It's all about what's going on
right now, and the Stern stories a little bit old.
But I thought the podcast we could talk about David Stern. Now.
I actually have a couple of David Stern stories that
I've interviewed him a few times over the years. Now.
One of them does not involve me, but involves a
story that I was told about David Stern. The other

(27:35):
one directly involves me. So I've got two David sterns
now listen. Stern was not perfect. The biggest mistake David
Stern made was allowing that slick oil Baron to take
the Seattle SuperSonics to Oklahoma. That was horrific. But Stern
did a lot of really cool things when he was
the commissioner of the NBA, and it was very good
for many, many people who made a lot of money

(27:57):
playing professional basketball. He marketed the Sars, not the teams.
It wasn't go see the Lakers, it was go see
Magic Johnson. It wasn't see the Celtics. It was Larry Bird.
It was Michael Jordan versus Dominique Wilkins. That was the
I don't know how much of that was Stern and
how much of that was some marketing person, but he
was the commissioner, so he gets some level of credit

(28:19):
for that. So my David Sterns stories. He passed away
at a brain hemorrhage, never recovered, and he died over
the holiday break. So my guy Rob who he was
an old Clipper PR guy. He doesn't work for the
team anymore, but he worked for the team for years.
I knew him when he was an intern. He rose
up was a PR executive with the team. So he
told a story to me about an amazing meet and greet,

(28:42):
So he you know, it's the PR guy I occasionally
have to go to league meetings, and he was at
an event with David Stern, and this is probably about
ten years ago, maybe a little less than ten years ago,
and Stern it was making small talk and said, hey,
how long have you worked for for Donald Stern, who
at the time was the Clippers owner. And my friends said, well,

(29:03):
I've worked for them for seventeen years. And David Stern
told the guy that I know here. He said, Jesus,
you're like a fucking prisoner of war. How about that
commissioner of the NBA. Oh man, isn't that great? That's
pretty damn good. That's that New York nonsense, that New

(29:24):
York stuff from Stern there the New Yorker and then
came out. Then I had my own personal dealings with
David Stern. I interviewed him a few times, but this
involves not an interview. Way back. Hired to believe it's
been twenty years, but to two thousand NBA Finals. The
Lakers are playing the Pacers, and I happened to be

(29:45):
working at an LA radio station that sent me to
Indianapolis to cover the NBA Finals. So I was in Indianapolis.
There was a day off between games in the NBA Finals,
and the NBA had a media Welcome to Indianapolis, Welcome
to the Hoosier State Party, which was really just an
example of freeloading, right, guest Gun, You know, freeloading and
all that. I don't know about it. So I was invited.

(30:08):
I showed up. They had free food and booze. I
remember that was when that hard lemonade had kind of
hit the market, and I drank so much of that
hard lemonade, Mike's Hard Lemonade. Yeah, that was like new.
That was like a new product, as I remember at
the time, and they had so much of it, and
oh my god, I got so wasted on that. I
didn't have to drive or anything like that. It was

(30:29):
down the street from the hotel. But anyway, during that event,
they had like a mini arcade with a bunch of
video games like NBA Jam and whatnot. So I was
playing NBA Jam against my friend David, not you, guest Gun,
but David Denholme. David Denholme who's now the play by
play guy for the LAFC. He's gone on and done

(30:51):
some good things there. So so, but we were working
together and and hanging out, and we went to a
minor league baseball game in Indianapolis, a game the Indians,
I think. I don't know if they're called that anymore.
Whatever they're called now, I don't know. But anyway, so
was there hanging out playing this video game, and we
were really getting into the game. It's an arcade game

(31:12):
to give, you know, it's the old arcade set up.
So I'm going against him and we are like going
back and forth. We're screaming at each other because it's
like a one point game, and some of the other
media people started gravitating behind where we were playing the
game because of like, what the hell's going on here?
Why is this so exciting? So we had an audience

(31:32):
and one of the people in the audience that came
up was David Sterning, the commissioner of the NBA, who
asked he kind of he was like, what teams are
you playing with? And I was playing with the Los
Angeles Clippers, and my friend David he was playing with
the Toronto Raptors, and hand to god, David sterns, why

(31:58):
are you playing with those teams? All about the money man?
How great is that man? That it's really good? As hilarious. Yeah,
I thought your favorite David Sterns story would have been
the one where he nixed the Lakers Chris Paul trade. Well,
that was just good commissioner work, is what that was.
That's what he Any commissioner would have done that because

(32:19):
it was an illegal trade by the Lakers. They were
trying to trade a guy that had a cocaine problem
lamar Odom to get a star player, and Chris Paul,
the Clippers gave me a better offer to New Orleans
than the Lakers didn't. I don't think so. But unfortunately
Rich Paul and Lebron James were not part of the Lakers,
or else Chris Paul would have gone to the Lakers. Yeah,
that's true. That's a great story though. Playing an arcade

(32:42):
game with David Stern over your shoulder or not under
your shoulder, under your elbow, But yeah, exactly. And then
the line he had like why are you playing with
those teams? You know? And then what do you know?
I mean what ten fifteen years later, Raptors win an
NBA title, beating the Golden State Warriors, and now the
Clippers are in the hunt to win their first I know,

(33:02):
and he's dead, but rest in peace. David Stern interesting character,
interesting character and a better commissioner than Adam Silver. Now
is he gonna? I want to point out before I'm
done with this? Sterns, David Stern, he knew what a disease,
what a ubonic plague load management was, and tried to
stop load management. Now he tried to stop it, and

(33:27):
Adam Silver is like, oh no, I want that load management.
And it's been bad for the NBA. All these players
seemingly pussy Willow Zion Williamson, the latest number one pick
on a minute's restriction hasn't played yet. It's it's all absurd. Now,
the big question is will he'd be a better commissioner
than Rob Manfred of Major League Baseball? Well, that is

(33:49):
to be determined here depending on what Rob Manford does
and what Major League Baseball does. And adjudicating the great
cheating scandal that we have been dealing with here with
the Astros and the Red Sox and the Dodges winning
back to back championship, Now, do you think this is
back to back scandals or is this one concurrent scandal

(34:10):
Like you have the tampering, the espionage and then of course,
the cheating with the Astros and the Red Sox of
video replay. All right, So, first of all, I believe
that these are obviously these are tied together, the tentacles
of the Astros. The common denominator is Alex Cora, who
was either the leader or was the follower of aj

(34:31):
Hinge in Houston, and he goes to Boston. And they
didn't do exactly the same thing. They did a more
modest version, a less obvious version, because everything in Texas
has to be bigger than the Commonwealth of Boston, you know,
New England and all that stuff. But yeah, I mean,
the Red Sox had a historically great year. They were

(34:53):
overwhelmingly good, and now we have come to learn that
they one of the reasons for that is that they
were cheating. Back to back years. The Dodgers were stymied
and we think what could have been, maybe what should
have been, thanks to some cheating scandals in Houston and
in Boston. All right, So, as far as modern technology,
now this is our maiden voyage in a new studio setup.

(35:18):
Now I have the remote Geico Fox Sports radio studios
that I work out of which these are the same
studios I did radio for Wei in Boston. But I'm
gonna go inside radio for you. So if you're in radio,
you'll appreciate this. If not, just bear with me. So
I had a setup with I SDN, which is a

(35:39):
high powered broadcast phone line expensive, well, not as expensive
as it used to be, but it is expensive as
like a monthly fee for it and all that. So
I had been using that to broadcast all of these
different shows that I do in the overnight show is
in the main studio, but these other shows I do,
these secondary shows I do from this studio, and I

(36:00):
do appearances on radio shows or whatever. I use this studio.
So I had used I SDN, but the company decided
we have to get rid of I SDN because it's
it's kind of outdated technology. The phone company doesn't want
to pay for it anymore. They don't want to they
don't want to use the technology. So I had to
switch over to a com Rex setup. And I was
very concerned about this because it's an Internet based situation

(36:24):
and I had a piece of equipment I had to
install it. I installed it myself, but there were a
couple of glitches. It wasn't working perfectly, so I had
a team of engineers from iHeartMedia that had to work
on this and to put all this together, you know,
curists and Fred, and got to love Fred on his vacation.

(36:46):
This is how important I am to Fred in the
engineering department. Fred came to the Mallard mansion on his
vacation to make sure that the glitch was out of
the magic radio box or podcasting box. How cool is that? Yeah,
it's not every day that we can have an engineer
trek all the way to your house to set up
an entire studio for you. You know, microphone connect no, no,

(37:09):
no no. I set up the microphone mixer connectivity and
IP line. I'd like you to know, with no engineering background,
although I was a technical, I was a board op
when I started radio. I was a terrible boardop. But
I don't know a lot about how to wire a
radio station. But I was able to put together about
eighty five percent of this podcast. We had Stay Awake

(37:30):
with Jake Jake Warner who helped finish off the rest
of it. But I did most of the work here
on the podcast, putting the studio together that I have here.
So it's not that good. First of all, it's not
like the studio that Steve Harvey has at home, or
Rush Limbaugh has at his house, but it's you know,
it's fun, or Jim Rome has it his house but
it's okay. Yeah. Full disclaimer for those out there that
know about this. You and Jake went to Ikea and

(37:52):
bought a shitty black desk and that's what you're using.
That's a lot. No, it's not. I mean this is
the same desk. I love this desk, and you can't
find this desk very many places. I have like a
corner desk. It's wonderful and it is actually what I
had at the original Mallard mansion. It's I had to
glue it together and I had to use like screws
to screw it back together, but it's it's still holding up.

(38:14):
It's painful, it's not why is it painful? Oh, it's
painful to lookout. It's just not really professional. But you
have an engineer that comes out and it's a wonderful. Look.
It's a great desk, is what it is. It's the
equivalent of your car in your house. It's fine, it's suitable.
Are you done? Yeah, no, I'm I'm done. You're flooded mansion.

(38:35):
All right, Moving on, we have study this Is it
real or is it bullshit? Uh? They study this game
here and these are actual studies. We determine whether we
believe them or not. First, one headline on this from
Joy to Triumph study finds music evokes thirteen key emotions
it lose in you. You know lists of the music
the emotions amusement, joy, eroticism, beauty, relaxation, sadness, dreaminess, triumph, anxiety, scariness, annoyance, defiance,

(39:10):
and energizing. Yeah, I believe that. Yeah, Like I My
relationship with music is a I listened to it, not
as much as most people because I but after the
show on the way home, I usually listened. And I
have a long drive and I usually put some music

(39:31):
on while I'm driving. But it really is the soundtrack
I always, I've said, the soundtrack of your life. Like,
if you play classical music, I feel like I'm in
a movie. You know that that music, the instrumental stuff. Yeah,
I'm like, Oh, I'm in the I'm a movie. I'm
in you know, Martin Scorsese movie or something like that,
and there's music in the background. Yeah. Not, But what
do you listen to when you go to the gym.

(39:52):
Usually I watch the news channels like Fox News, CNN,
those channels, uh, and I either woof on them or
agree with him. All right, so I will dip my
toes into this. Since you have no backbone on this
at all, what do you talk? I listened to music
all the time, so if you congratulations, you want a cookie.
So if I'm in the gym, it brings out different

(40:14):
emotions in me, like anxiety, endurance, happiness. It's euphoric in
some ways, especially if you're working out hard, which you
I know you don't do. If you're driving same thing too,
because unlike you, I have a much longer drive to
get to work, especially when I have to schlep up
here two hours before I am regularly scheduled. So oftentimes

(40:34):
like that, the anxiety will kick up a little bit
on that element. Um, I like listening to it when
I drive home after a long day's worth of work.
Here with you guys, especially when your radio show's covered
up on AM five seventy LA Sports, so I can
listen to music you like listening to, like Lizzo. You
know you Lizzo guy, you like you really liked when
you tworked in that thong. He thought that was good.

(40:55):
I tell you, I listened to like a lot of
soundtracks I listened to, well, I listened to some of
that to the movie soundtracks like that. What's that guy Williams?
What's the guy's name? The great conductor of all that movie? No,
not Hans Zimmer, you idiot. What what's the guy's name?
His last name? This he created like the Star Wars theme,

(41:16):
And uh, you don't even know the guy's name. John Williams.
Is the guy's name, John, I just came to be
John Williams, not Hank Williams. John Williams is almost ninety
years old. I think this guy is an American hero.
The music, this guy, that fe Indiana Jones, Star Wars,
the soundtracks Jaws that he has come up with, Jurassic

(41:39):
Park et. These are a classical movies back before Hollywood
just made remakes and superhero movies. That's good, that's right. Yeah,
that means you should be at least a little excited
for one Top Gun two comes out. No, because I
think it's gonna gonna make it a chick flick. And
you know, just like they ruined these things. So no, oh,

(41:59):
the New Star Wars is like that, Well exactly, That's
what I'm saying. They're like, well, they know the movie business.
First of all, they're overly politically correct. I'm okay with
having rom coms for the ladies and for the dude
you know, the gay guys, and for the for the
the masculine hardcore men. You can have a man's movie.

(42:19):
But they don't do that anymore. Yeah, it's unfortunately, know
everyone's the studio will never sign off on that kind
of stuff. Whoat right now, you're one hundred percent corrects
the world we live in now, all right? Next up globalization.
The average modern family spans over blank miles according to
a survey average family. How many miles does the average

(42:41):
family span? I'm gonna say thirty eight thirty eight miles? Boy,
are you bad at this? According to the study, the
average modern family spans over two thousand miles about that
coast to coast. Well, we both your family. You have

(43:03):
family in Florida, right that you grew up with live
in Florida. But you know, I'm being from sam Pedro.
Most people don't leave Pedro, and if they do, they
leave to go to like Long Beach or Torrance or Yeah,
well that's true. But I grew up in Orange County
and most people don't leave that. And I have a
brother in Appleton, Wisconsin in New York City and both
have been gone for some time. Yeah, well there's all ones.

(43:25):
So I'm separated by about three thousand miles. You're about
three thousand miles from someone you grew up with. Yeah,
that's true. But they say because of all the video
chatting and the messaging services, people are more open to
leaving because they can still communicate with their loved ones
wherever they are in the planet. They can still it

(43:46):
feels like you're still there because you can still talk
to your your immediate family and all that stuff. Yeah,
which is which is fascinating, because that's why I like
to travel so much. As you have the ability to
communicate Skype and all these other apps that you can
use at any given time. Skype and of course you
know FaceTime and a lot of other craps. So as
I'm surprised you haven't moved from where you're at, but

(44:08):
you know, you're threatening to go to Boston and New
York and you know, well, I've had you know, Over
the years, I've had several offers to do radio locally
in other cities. I had a couple offers to do
radio in Boston, but and I would have loved it. Unfortunately,
these damn radio stations I became popular after I got married.
It's harder to move gascon when you get married, like

(44:29):
you can move anywhere. You don't have a wife or
anything like that. You don't have anything to worry about
a family and all that. So I'm in the position
when I wanted these jobs in other cities, other markets,
I wasn't offered the jobs now that I can't really
freely move around. I have a good job now anyway.
I'm not like I'm looking to leave. But I'm amused

(44:49):
that I have been offered these jobs now that I'm
not really able to take them now. If I lose
my job, I will of course then have to relocate.
But until then, no, So even if I can land
you a TV job in Boston or New York, you're
gonna say no to it. Well, it depends how long
the conj I am open, because I might be one
of those people that communicate via Skype and all that.

(45:11):
Over two thousand miles or whatever. I mean, Yeah, everyone's
got their price. I learned that they remember here the
book The Magic Christian, which was a terrible movie, but
they talked about that. You know, anybody will do anything
if the price is right. Yeah, Ted DiBiase baby. Be
sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show
weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox

(45:32):
Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app. And we're live here
outside the Perez family home, just waiting for them. And
there they go, almost on time. This morning. Mom is
coming out the front door strong with a double armed
kid carry. Looks like dad has the bags. Daughter is
bringing up the rear. Oh but the diaper bag wasn't closed.

(45:52):
Diapers and toys are everywhere. Oh but Mom has just
nailed the perfect car seat buckle for the toddler. And
now the eldest daughter, who looks to be about nine
or ten, has secured herself in the booster seat. Dad
zips the bad clothes and they're off. Ah, but looks
like Mom doesn't realize your coffee cup is still on
the roof of the car and there it goes. Ah,

(46:16):
that's a shame that mug was a fam favorite. Don't
sweat the small stuff, just nail the big stuff, like
making sure your kids are buckle correctly in the right
seat for their agent's eyes. Learn more at NHTSA dot
gov slash the Right Seat. Visits NHTSA dot gov slash
the Right Seat, brought to you by NITZA and the
ad Council. Adoption of teams from foster care is a

(46:37):
topic not enough people know about, and we're here to
change that. I'm April Denuity, host of the new podcast
Navigating Adoption, presented by adopt Us Kids. Each episode brings
you compelling, real life adoption stories told by the families
that live them, with commentary from experts. Visit adopt us
Kids dot org slash podcast or subscribe to Navigating Adoption

(46:57):
presented by adopt Us Kids, brought to you by the
US Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children
and Families and the ad Council. What grows in the
forest trees, Sure no one else grows in the forest.
Our imagination, our sense of wonder, and our family bonds
grow too. Because when we disconnect from this and connect

(47:20):
with this, we reconnect with each other. The forest is
closer than you think. Find a forest near you and
start exploring. I Discover the Forest dot org. Brought to
you by the United States Forest Service and the AD Council.
All right, Next up, we have another study. People with
a lazy lifestyle have an ape like heart. How about

(47:43):
that I'm gonna call bullshit? Do you think this is bullshit? Here?
All right, let me give you the details and then
we can debate. This study comes out of the Boston
area and they talk about, you know, obviously health and
All is a new study that can the human heart
evolved over time for endurance endurance slowly becoming less ape

(48:06):
like in reference to the you know, the original ancestors
of human beings. But because of this, the human heart
is intended for endurance activities. Those who live a mostly
sedentary lifestyle, according to this I'm reading verbatim here, are
at a much greater risk of developing heart disease. So there,

(48:27):
and they're using the term your your heart is more
ape like if you neglect your physical activity. All right,
you know what, I'm gonna recant, and I'm gonna recall
my comment. But you said it was bullshit. Now you're
trying to take it back. Yeah, I gotta walk that
back by the way. That reminds me. So you wait, man,
I go to the gym. I know you don't believe that,
but so at one point my heart was like a

(48:49):
chimpanzee's heart. But now I don't think it is. I'd
like to think it's not. But they said that chimpanzees
largely sustain themselves on life through short bursts of energy climbing,
only putting their arts to work for short periods of time,
and so it's accepted that that's how, you know, in
the evolution, humans have obviously changed. Yeah, no, I gotta

(49:11):
spoil us a little bit. But did you watch the
documentary I recommended called Game Changers on Netflix. No, I
recommend you to do that. But it's fascinating that you're
mentioned the human heart because there's a couple of spots
in it that talks about our ability to fight off
infection and fight off disease, dementia, Alzheimer's, things of that nature.

(49:33):
But it talks about the number one killer for us
men stress and heart disease. And they do all kinds
of fascinating and measurements with men that are are younger
than us, that are are amateur or even professional athletes.
It talks about what you put in your body in
terms of fuel or lack thereof, and how we feel
lethargic before we go work out because of what we eat,

(49:55):
how we feel before we go to bed because of
what we eat. So I won't spoil it too much,
but I'll say this much. Uh, it impacts us so
much about what we put in our body when it
comes to our activities in the sack. In the sack, yes,
all of that to get the fucking is that what
you were getting? A Well, it's it's blood flow, it's

(50:17):
overall blood flow. And it talks about the way that
we consume meat like chicken, steak, fish, and how our
body just becomes inflamed and because that it leads to blood,
poor blood circulation in our heart, erections, whatever it may be,
recovery over muscles. You're watching like vegan propagandas what you're doing.
I'm watching what? No, I wasn't watching who Now? I

(50:41):
love documentaries. I watch them all the time. Anybody knows
a good documentary, please send it to me. I weekend,
I watch at what. I just sent that to you,
and you didn't even watch it. Well, it's not the weekend.
I only I watch. I have a four hour show
every goddamn night that I have to do. I have
to watch these these games, all right, So that on

(51:03):
the weekends I'll watch games, but I won't pay his
close attention if I'm not on the radio that night.
All Right, we'll find I don't have to take notes
on a game on a Friday or Saturday most of
the time that this weekend I will because you know
the game's on Saturday. Well, I'm sure we'll talk about
over the weekend on the Sunday show. All right. Well.
Game Changers is a documentary that was hosted by a

(51:23):
former UFC fighter. His name is James Wilkes, and Wills
never heard of him. Well, Wilkes was a UFC fighter,
but he also trained special Forces in combat tactics, and
so what he did was he went he had to
recover from two torn acls left in right knees, and
so he went across the world interviewing people, doctors, athletes,

(51:45):
former athletes about their exercise, diet, nutrition and all stuff.
So it breaks down their type of recovery and what
they did when they changed their diet from meat based
to plant based, and there was even some bigger dudes
that were in there. Arlt Swart Snigger was one of
them as well, and he just talked about the way
that his body responded when he cleaned up his diet.

(52:06):
So listen, diet's important, but I think genetic genetics and
you know that it's all plays a role. Like you
could have the greatest diet and work out all the time,
but if you have bad genetics, you're fucked, you know
what I'm saying. I mean, but some people are just predisposed,
unfortunately to really bad illnesses because they went in the
wrong DNA the wrong line when they were checking into

(52:27):
the planet. Yeah, but doctors and hospitals are there to
help you recover, not to keep you healthy. Then that
comes from the food that we put in our body. Well, no,
the hospitals need sack people exactly. They need you know.
It's like, I guess I'm going full on tin tinfoil
hat guy. But it's the same argument. Like the oil companies.

(52:49):
You could probably run a car fine without you know,
the conspiracy they're about water. You can run a car
on water. But the oil companies want their money right
and they want that there are the I read a
story this week that the people in Australia I think
it is, are coming up with a battery for an
electric car that goes six hundred miles on one charge.
If that happens, I'm in on that. I'm gonna get well.

(53:10):
I don't care how much you cost. I'm gonna buy
that because a gas is absurd. Yeah, it's realized. But
the point, like hospitals, you know, they don't want to cure,
they want a treatment because if you have a cure,
who's gonna go visit the doctor if you're not sick?
Hence why you should eat better. And that's exactly what
this documentary is all about. I eat better, intermitute fasting, dude,
I'm telling you man, that's the way to go. You

(53:32):
also have your body has a chance to burn fat.
And you know you don't need to eat every day.
I didn't say that, but you didn't make sure you
eat well when you do eat once every eighteen to
twenty four hours. I eat a nice hearty meal. Yeah,
I eat a nice hearty meal. I'm moving on. We
had a couple more here, workaholic. Now how many I
have a ten adults on average, how many cannot stop

(53:54):
working no matter where they are? What percentage of the
adults cannot stop North America. This study was done in London,
so you have to factor that. I'm gonna say sixty
three percent. No, they say forty, a staggering forty percent,
they claim. Of people they said overall, almost half of

(54:17):
those surveys said they enjoy their work, but sixty five
percent said they hate their habit of consistently focusing on
their job. Only three percent said they actually leave their
office each day when their shift is supposed to end.
So I listen. I am, fortunately am one of these people.
I'm always thinking about, you know, what, would this be

(54:41):
something I could talk about on the radio. And I'm
always observing, So I wish I wasn't like that. I know,
I've worked with people who are very lazy and show up,
you know, right before the show and things like that,
don't have any real work ethic. I kind of wish
I was like that from time to time because my
life would be a lot more easier than you know,
obsessing over every every second of a radio show. Um.

(55:02):
But yeah, I'm just I'm wired that way where I'm
always trying to gain an advantage, and I'm always trying
to find something that will help me and it and
I know it annoys my wife when I'm like on
a going out to dinner on a Saturday night and
I'm looking at my phone to see the score of
some NBA games to see if there's something crazy that
happens in there. Yeah, there's nothing wrong with that. You
you actually, I can understand from her perspective, because you

(55:24):
did leave her to go to the Pacific Northwest on
vacation without her. That's a work assignment. That is a
meet the people of the great people of Seattle, Salt
of the Earth party way. I like Seattle. I might
have to live there someday. That's a good city. I
like Jays Scoop. You like j Well, Jay Scoop's cool. Yeah,
jj from Renting. I mean all those guys, Robbie the

(55:46):
Mariner fan, I go down the list, Nostradinas, the trash talker,
the joke writer from Tacoma was there. I mean, all
these guys were cool. They were all good. Yea, yeah, well,
I'll go at Jay Scoop for the time being. He's
say hello to you or something. Then No, it must
have been nice to you say, hello, any guy that's
gonna spend the thousands of dollars that he did on

(56:07):
you stop, hundreds of thousands of You got a plane ticket,
you got a hotel, you got transportation, you got dinners.
All right, we gotta gotta, we gotta move on. All right,
giddy up? All right? Uh, children involved in organized sports
less likely to have emotional difficulties turn your according to

(56:28):
a study. I'm gonna believe that you're gonna believe that
what was that Dan that we heard? I don't know
those those uh, your teeth fucked up, didn't you know?
That's your technical producer Robert Garret on the other side, Ah,
all right, hitting buttons. I hope he knows that this
is going out on the podcast. We do call him
wrong button Bob for a reason. Yeah, we do call
him wrong button Bob for a reason. I don't know

(56:49):
if he acknowledged that, but he was giving me a
one finger salute. So hopefully bad job by, wrong by.
You know, he's he's just a doting dad. I'm wrong
button Bob happy for him. He finally got off your
cancer show and has maum made something of his career.
He's got a got a child the spawn of Bob Gara,
and he's got a massive house too, which is even better.

(57:10):
Wrong button girl, whatever her name is. Yeah, so any
bad job by him, he should have put his daughter
on like it's a small world after all, this flashed
mountain at Disneyland. But did not do that, did not
do this, But he says his wife, I guess had
the final say on all. He's the boss. Yeah. But
as far as this study that you know, children involved
in organized sports less likely to have emotional difficulties, Yeah,

(57:34):
I believe that. Yeah, I agree. I mean one of
the cool things about sports, when done right, is you
are taught a little bit of toughness, right, You taught
a little bit of you know, how to handle losing
and that kind of stuff and things that go bad
when you play sports. So I totally get that, Yeah, grit,

(57:54):
how to be resilient, how to get up, how to respond,
how to be a pro. Yeah, all right, I got
one more. And I know we've gone way long on
this portion of the show, but yeah, I think I
feel like these are good and so when they're good,
you gotta do them. I saw this one and I
thought of you, Oh boy, all right. News study says
an average woman's dress size has increased. Supermodels waste have

(58:19):
continued to shrink because of people like you. Guess guy, No, yeah,
I'm not shallow. I told you already. I like women
that are full figured. You live near the Pacific Ocean,
live between the four oh five Freeway the Pacific Ocean. Listen,
you're a stone's throwaway from the Pacific Ocean. I've told you.
There's a point of demarcation in LA. When you're west

(58:42):
of the four oh five and east of the four
oh five, there's an elitest, pompous, arrogant, asshole contingent. Not everyone,
but most people. Yeah, west of the four h five. Listen,
you're like the Chicago Faithful. You can actually watch a
Dodger game from the view of your backyard into Chavez Ravine.
So they don't give me that bullsh shit, Like that's
the kind of where I live before. I could do

(59:03):
that where I live now, not so much. I don't care.
I'm not shallow, and I think that study is bullshit.
All right, Well, you can think it's bullshit. I don't
think it's bullshit because it's your women are getting more
plump and the modeling industry, they continue to make them
skinnier and all that. And do you think that could
be because of surgery where women are getting breast augmentation

(59:26):
or LiPo section, because even LiPo section, you're removing fat,
but the fat cells need to be replaced somewhere else. Well, listen,
I I like a Crevations woman. I know you don't,
but I do. I don't see why they can't put
a bunch of women that have like an hourglass type
of body or whatever. I don't see why they can't

(59:46):
do that these fashion shows, I don't understand. I don't
know how that works anyway, There it is. Those are
the study is you want some grab bad questions? Do
we have time for a few grab bad questions? Of course?
All right, let's see where shall we go with? These
are actual questions by actual listeners the show. From our
Facebook page, Dan in Kalamazoo says, did Gagon poison Cooper Loop?

(01:00:10):
He wants to know, did you poison Justin Cooper? The
Are you the reason he's missed so much time here
in twenty twenty he's missed work? Wow? Well, I don't know.
I I no one's awake during your show. There's like
a handful of people across the United States that are awake.
So I had no idea that he's out. How long
has he been out for a while? Well, is it

(01:00:32):
longer than you? You were out for seventeen days? That's
a lie. Eighteen days. Sorry, you're I missed two two
weeks of radio. It's a long time in this industry.
You're really You're like, I did a podcast during that time?
What's that? You're like? Eddie two point zero? I didn't
go to Australia. I didn't go on for like a month.

(01:00:53):
I didn't do that all right. I went to Seattle
to meet listeners. Yeah, you went to Seattle. You went
to Baja? Um where else did you go? You were gone?
I know that in Vegas had some deep Dish pizza.
First time I had Chicago deep dish pizza in Vegas. Boy,
Giardonald's wonderful. You ever been to Giardnalds. I went to
Giardonald's in Chicago, Yes, and it's an amazing I didn't

(01:01:14):
think I was gonna like it because as I looked
at the pictures, like was tomato sauce at the top?
I don't like that? But all they did is like
they flipped the cheese and the toppings and they put
the tomato sauce on top. Did you get meat, lovers
or where'd you get? No? I got a garlic onion
green pepper um pizza, the Mallard the Mallard pizza, which

(01:01:34):
reminds me too. Restaurant Week in La starts in a
couple of weeks. So I did tell your wife. I
made a recommendation that we should hit up a couple
of places. All right, I'll make a deal with you.
All right, if you get some money for my insurance.
I can't you do it that fast. I will go
with you to La Food Week or whatever the fuck

(01:01:55):
that is. I will do it. Well, that doesn't sound
like a great like I have to I have to
fish shout money for you for your broken house in
order to dine with you. Yes, well, here's the thing. Now,
we have different palettes. I'm more of a truck stop guy,
the greasy spoon, the hole in the wall. You are
like the bougie, high end two hundred dollars steak guy.

(01:02:20):
You're that guy. I'm not that guy. I'm not. I
give me a cheese steak with rearby thinly cut and
probolone cheese and onions and peppers. I'm going, yeah, well,
I'm more about Japanese wagou seven ounces. It's it's perfect,
finally cut. But come on, man, I lived in would
I would eat wagon, But I'm not eating like what's

(01:02:41):
that new that that new trendy thing that's in LA.
There's a lot of these up. It's a fast food
Asian fish place where pokey. Is that what they call it?
Asian fusion? Yeah? Yeah, that's not my I lived in
San Diego for like seven or eight years, and I
had California burritos all day and all night. So I
don't give me that shit, right? Can we do some quickly?
Can we do some more? Here? Go quickly and not

(01:03:02):
spend eight million minutes on anyway? Jason and Rocky Mount
Virginia says, what are your thoughts on the next mallor
man March being at the super Bowl led by weed
Man and Gascon is not invited? Fuck you listen if
it's if it's Marlin's Man, yes, if it's weed Man no, Yeah.

(01:03:24):
Well I have some friends in Miami. I would love
to do Miami, although I don't know that I want
to hang out with with weed Man. I've been to
Miami before. It's been a long time since I've been
to Miami. We have a lot of listeners in Miami,
which we do pretty well there. You know why we
do well in Miami. A lot of old people that
can't sleep, that have insomnia, and you live in Miami,
that retired. I get emails from these guys and mostly
I don't think that's any women that of email me,
but they they guys that lived in like New York

(01:03:47):
or whatever. You know, they moved to the other borough
of New York Miami and then they can't sleep and
they're like, I gotta listen to a little sports talk
and then we're on Florida and Arizona for you. Yeah, Arizona.
At Arizona is the retirees from like Chicago and the
Upper Midwest. They a lot of people go to Arizona
from from there. All right, Next up, Carlos in Houston says,

(01:04:11):
when is your next minor league baseball appearance? Well, thanks
for asking, Carlos. I actually have been in contact with
a minor league team about doing an appearance this summer,
and it you I'll let you know, if it happens.
But I think something will happen in that department. I know, Guscott,
you were talking about doing something at a horse track
Santa Anita, del Mar or del Mar. Yeah, I'd be

(01:04:35):
all about that. That would be a lot of fun
to do a meet and great. We gotta have enough
time so people can travel and hang out and be
part of it. But I think that would be fun.
Joshua writes, and he says, how do you find Marcel
and Brooklyn funny or entertaining? News flash? He ain't. I
love the rest of the show. Well, Joshua, let me
tell you, first of all, it's a call in radio show. Now.

(01:04:58):
I've tried to help Marcel become a character. I like Marcel.
Marcel means well, he thinks he's Edward R. Murrow breaking news,
and I love the guy. The guy. You know, he's
not living a great life. He lives in the projects
in Brooklyn, and he's eating oodles and noodles. He doesn't
get out of his house very much. And one of

(01:05:18):
the joys he gets is the radio show. And so
I'm all about it, all right, what else do we
I got a couple more here during your most recent
Mallard Man Marsh. This is from Neil in Vancouver to
the Pacific Northwest. Did you make a pilgrimage to the
Mallard Temple Synagogue Church of All Good Things by Kirkland,

(01:05:39):
the Costco headquarters. Yeah, no I didn't, although I will
admit when I drove to the airport. I took a
flight out of the airport, which is a small airport
north of Seattle, and I saw the sign for Kirkland,
and I got a little excited. I got it. I
was a little aroused. I was a little aroused. I
was very excited. I love I got I could get

(01:06:01):
a tour of Costco. Man, I'd be all about it.
He friggle, motherfuck what are you talking about? Nothing? Continue? Yeah,
But but as far as the you know, the other
way was the Marcel question. Here's another Marcel question. Who
would win a fight? Eddie or Marcel draw? Wow? They
both knock each other out. They just kind of stare
at each other. That was from Brian and Chesapeake, Virginia.

(01:06:23):
Kevin and San Diego says who wins a fight? Between
San Diego radio legends John Kintara and Lee hack saw
Hamilton's now least four foot eleven. Yeah, but he's feisty.
Hack Saws got some mean meanness in him. And I
worked with Hacko. I love Cantara the coach. Yeah, but
he's he's a mister soft. He's a nice guy. Yeah.
Hack Saw will rip your heart out all right, you

(01:06:47):
know with some of the things he said back in
the day on the radio to Raider fans and whatnot.
He he doesn't take any shit, Hacksaw. Yeah, that's true.
Lou from the LBC says, when is Lily the last
time you were caught watching or looking at inappropriate material
TV or online? By who? And what was the material? Yes?

(01:07:07):
I caught you watching something inappropriate. Why why would you
come to me? Well, because you watch him inappropriate. If
you have, you have your glamor shots, you're on grinder,
you watch all kinds of weird stuff. No, the glamour
shots are for the public. I needed your wife's approval
on them too. All right, here's all he says. You
don't have the balls to answer the question, Lou. I'll

(01:07:28):
tell you what happened. It happened at work, and here's
appropriate stuff every day at work. Well, here's the thing.
You know, we have showcase studios right there at the
corner of Sapulvian and Ventura in La and we have
TV so you can watch inside the studio from the
street and all this stuff. And this has happened more recently,

(01:07:51):
but a long time ago, I had a female producer,
Miranda Marina lover her, wonderful woman. She's a mom now,
she's married, grown up, all that stuff. Miranda was my
producer and she had just started on the show. And
my engineer at the time he liked skin a Max
and he you know, I didn't control the TV. You know,

(01:08:13):
i'n't doing a radio show. I'm not worried about the TVs.
I don't really care what's on the TV because there's
nothing on overnights that other than infommercials that I would
be interested in. So this guy with a female that
I we didn't know at the time. She's a cool
old woman, she's down with every whatever, but we didn't
know that. And she's new and he's watching like skin

(01:08:34):
a Max porn movies on like two of the four TVs,
and I'm like, hey, you might want to turn that off,
and he left them on. That was that was awkward. Yeah,
one of your technical directors actually does that on the
regular here in the studios, and I really I've caught
him numerous times, one of my guys. Yeah, not Roberto either, Yeah, no,

(01:08:56):
it's not Robert. I don't I don't know. Yeah, I
don't usually pay attention to the TVs because I'm you know, talking.
But anyway, right, uh, don't six to sports. I know. Oh,
I just got we apparently gotta put the baby to bed.
You want to do a couple of these, No, we're
gonna put the baby in a bed. All right, Well
you're out of the show, then don't six day. Well,
if you want to do it, you can do a

(01:09:16):
couple of stories. Quick. Listen, we've taken too much time.
Your old executive producer, Robert Garris kicking me out, wrong button, Bob.
He's the best producer that we have on the network.
And I can't there's a couches over there. Why can't
you just sit on the couch in the room right
next to because our good colleague Rob Parker has a
VIP that he needs to interview. So Robert Parker's Rob

(01:09:36):
Parker gets that's right. Anything but you because you're over now,
by the way, man, I got a message to Rob Now, Rob,
I love Rob Parker. Yes, I'm a big fan of
Rob welloks. He's great. Yeah, well traveled, Rob Perk. But
his whole schickla is to attack Tom Brady right, and
he's despised and Boston. Yes, but I heard him on
his show. He's like, Brady should retire. No, you want

(01:09:58):
Brady to continue so you can continue to use him
as a punching bag. Don't have him retire. Then he's
no longer a punching bag. Well he moves to Lebron
James after that. That's true. Well, he, me and Rob
have a lot of the same tendencies. Although I don't
rip break I ripped Lebron. Yeah, and Rob's nice. You're
a fucking asshole. Wow, all right, go to hell. Have
a great weekend. Try the other podcast, Betty Versus the Penny.

(01:10:19):
We'll catch you next time. And Syanara, if you love
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