Love Letters

There's nothing that can be done without you, the audience so Ben and his noble wingman open up a bag of drama. So much to get to in such a short amount of time, but the fellas also find a way to mix in some personal crap along with some other stories outside the sports realm. Make sure to subscribe, rate, and post a review of the podcast whenever you get the chance.

Engage with the podcast by emailing us at [e-mail]

Follow Ben on Twitter @BenMaller and on Instagram @BenMallerOnFOX

David is on Twitter @DavidJGascon and IG @DaveGascon

Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day dred minutes a
week was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse. The clearing House of
Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour

(00:23):
with Ben Mallarck starts right now that it does in
a very good day to you. I'm glad you have
chosen to listen to this podcast. I'm encouraged that you
have decided to download the Fifth Hour. We are here
for you with extra podcast. We are spending extra time.
Quite frankly, we have nothing else to do because of
the situation we're in, but why not. We're having some

(00:45):
fun here in the podcast factory. And coming up on
today's podcast, we're gonna have an extended version of grab Bag.
And because of a previous podcast we did not have
time to get to Don't Stick to Sports, so we
will have Don't Stick to Sports Stories the weekend. As always,
on this edition of the Fifth Hour with Ben maller

(01:07):
we are joined by gag On David Gas God really
excited about my return it's uh, it's been a long
time away. Wait, but it's been an entire day away.
It's well, it's different. I know you're not used to
engaging with your staff during your money through Friday's show,

(01:29):
and I bring a little light to the party. And
here I am as vibrant as ever Ben Mallory complaining, grumbling,
and I have not done that once, not yet. I know.
I know that deep down your inner bitch session is
going to come out over something. It might, but I
always save that for rainy day. Yeah. So again, if

(01:51):
you're new to the podcast, we're here every Friday, Saturday
and Sunday until further notice. The podcast numbers are up,
the download numbers are up, which is very encouraging there,
and we would like to remind you all we need
is one good minute. So if you've got kids that
don't really like this kind of nonsense, just tell them
listen for a minute. We're good. Yeah, I don't we

(02:12):
should subscribe kids to listen to us. Um, no, no, no, no, no, listen.
I learned every dirty word I've ever said in my
life in elementary school, in the playground, in elementary school.
So yeah, younger than elementary school. Age, probably not, but
profanity and youth goes side by side. You learn all
the dirty words when you're a kid. And in the

(02:33):
past I've encouraged and this is still a great idea.
If you've got grandparents and they've got a smart phone
but they don't really know how to use it, you
can take their phone, say hey, I gotta set something
up for you. Set up the automatic download, subscribe to
the podcast. They become a subscriber, and encourage them to
just listen. Teach them how to listen for like a minute,
just hit the play button. We get credit for that.

(02:54):
Do you ever want your grandparents to listen to what
you say on the radio? Well, my grandparents aren't around anymore,
but I wouldn't mind. Yeah, I think my old my
my grandfather from Springfield, mass Um. He was like a
plumber and he was like a blue collar guys. He's
the guy that spoke Yiddish when I was growing up,
and I learned all the bad words and Yiddish and

(03:15):
all that. I think he'd get a kick out of it.
I think he would think it was funny. He would
complain about something like you, He would make a fuss
over something. But I think he would listen to him.
It would be fun. What about your dad? Did your
dad listen to the podcast? Now, my dad does not
do podcast. He doesn't understand podcast. He doesn't get podcast.
It's over his head. He's he's of the age. And

(03:36):
this a lot like there's people that listen to the
radio show that if I change affiliates in certain cities
and because the network radio, we go on stations and
off stations randomly, and if you change stations, they can't
find you. They think you're dead. They think that the
show's over, the show has been canceled. I'm like, well, no,
you can listen on I Heart Radio. There's plenty of
streaming ways. You can hear the show live if you

(03:59):
want to listen live. They're like, no, no, it's not
on the radio. I'm not listing. My dad's of that age.
He doesn't understand technology, and which is odd because he
worked around technology, early technology in his younger days. But yeah,
that does not does not carry over. So wh why
don't we get right into grab back? You want to
get right into grab it all right? Grab back? It

(04:21):
is These are actual questions by actual listeners, sent in
by random people like your self, all right, So here
we go. First once from Jason in Baker's Field, California.
And when I would drive through California going to a
central or northern California, I would always stop in Baker's Field.

(04:42):
There was a restaurant that served poutine and the great poutine,
and we would stop there on the way and my
wife found it on her phone on YELP and uh
and actually a kind of a cool hip part of Bakersfield,
So we would stop there and eat poutine. You ever
had poutine guests? I have. I actually had it with

(05:02):
with a local broadcaster here. Jim Fox used to play
for the l A. King's Foxy Yeah, Foxy Jane. Jim
Fox took me to a spot down and Redondo Beach.
Oh is that right? But I'm always looking for a
good Putine's place where Right now none of the restaurants
are open, you can't go to them. But when they're
open again, I'd like to find out. I have to
go have some poutine. I love. I love that great

(05:23):
Canadian dish, one of the great things Canada has provided
the world. Yes, it was in It's in Redondo Beach.
It's a spot called Eat at Joe's and I had
it there. We were having a conversation and he asked
me if I had ever had it before, and I said, no,
this is we're talking about working things like that, and
um I was a little reluctant at first, but as
soon as I started eating it, I was in love. Man,

(05:44):
it was hit the spot. That's good. So Jason's question,
if you were on death row, what would you choose
as your final meal? Oh? Man, I would go with
the Bellagio buffet. All you can eat. Come on, man,
I can't do that the last meal. Why not? Then
you can just keep eating and you never have to.
They can't take it to the electric chair, the gas chamber.

(06:06):
You're just like, hey, I'm just gonna keep eating pasta
coming my way. It would be some bullshit, high end
foo foo crap that you're an elitist. Maybe, But see
if you went to the buffet, would you do it
for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. I'm more of a lunch

(06:28):
or dinner guy. Definitely not breakfast. Definitely not breakfast. I
would go depends what do they have on the dinner
buffet As opposed to lunch. Lunch is more like turkey sandwiches, burgers,
that kind of thing. Yeah, they usually are like they
have some bullshit steak or like a chicken cutlet um.
You know, some soggy vegetables usually are in there, mashed potatoes, corn,

(06:49):
you know. The scam and I learned this years ago
on the buffet is they put at the front of
the buffet the cheapest foods that fill you up the most,
because the goal that they realized that most people are robotic,
and they when they go to the buffet, they start
at the beginning and they work their way to the end.
Were the most expensive foods, the foods that are from

(07:11):
like the taj mahal right, the really expensive stuff that
is at the end of the buffet. So if you
really want to screw the people that put the buffet out,
start at the end of the buffet and eat the
desserts and the very expensive, the high end meats at
the end of the buffet and then work your way
back to the front, because that'll fuck him up. Now,
I'm glad you brought up Vegas because if I had
a last meal, there's two entrees of it to have.

(07:34):
One of them was from Vegas. I had at Wolfgang
Puck as a restaurant. Here we go Mr Aristocrat between
the Man of the people, Mr high Rent district himself
between the venetian Um and the Palazzo. He has a
restaurant called Cut. And my best friend who's a doctor

(07:57):
in Dublin, Ireland, when he got into medical well we
went there. Not there, but like went to Vegas to celebrate.
Um we had Japanese wagu ben for seven ounces. It
was a hundred and twenty five dollars, but it was amazing.
It was the best piece of steak I've ever eaten
my life. If I had to go like low profile,

(08:19):
I would definitely have a California burrito from this spot
in Santa in San Diego called Santana's. It was I
don't know if you like California burritos, but for those
that don't, mine was at the Carnea Soda, French fries, salsa,
a little bit more potatoes that are in there. But
it was absolutely fucking awesome. I would eat twice in
those day. If you want to go restaurant, I would go,

(08:39):
like a big box of Tito's tacos. I take one
of those. I take um Langers Deli in l Yeah,
Langers is amazing. I love Langers. Need to get to
Langers again soon when they REO. I guess they're still around.
I can pick up a sandwich and take it to go,
but it's a long way to go for a sandwich
from where I live. Langer's Pastrami sandwich. I would take

(09:00):
that on a kaiser roll or just the regular way
that it comes um Tito's Johnny's Pastrami over there on
the west side. Unfortunately, though it's not west of the
four or five, it's east of the four five, just
east of the four h five. I wouldn't eat there.
I wouldn't need it. Tito Tito's is right against the

(09:21):
four oh five freeway in Culver City, and if it
was on the other side, I wouldn't be able to
go there because it's west of the four or five.
But it's east of the four or five something A lot.
Eating it would suck. If it was west of the
four or five. I don't think it would. Actually it would.
It might be marked up a couple more bucks, but
it definitely wouldn't suck. No, that's the point of de marcation.
Guest on the four oh five food way is the
point of d mar cation. Okay, I don't know. It's

(09:43):
it's like crossing over into a different dimension in the
twilight Zone. Be sure to catch live editions of The
Ben Maller Show week days at two a m. Eastern
eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and the I
Heart Radio app. Anyway, so thank you, Jason and I
spent weight. I think we've spent out seven minutes on that,
and we didn't give you much. This one is from

(10:04):
I Didn't get r J. R J in San Antonio says,
who is a caller that has retired from calling the
show or passed away that you would want to talk
to one more time? And he says, I think I
know the answer. Well, yeah, r J. The answer is
obviously the greatest caller in the history of talk radio,
Genie and med f ory Um. Genie was such a
cartoon character. I for years thought I was being punked.

(10:28):
I thought it was a comedian. I originally I thought
it was Pete and Pittsburgh doing a parody of uh
an angry drunk woman from from Oregon. But it turns
out that Genie was a real person and she became
one of our favorites on the show, and she would
call us up a couple of times a week and
regale us with these wild stories and was such an
entertaining caller, was such a fun spirit, a genie in Medford.

(10:50):
She passed away a couple of years ago, and I
got to talk to her near the end there. She
was unfortunately in a hospice situation, so I got to
say goodbye to Jennie. She was a big part of
our show for years. The other one that I would
throw out there, and just off the top of my head,
r J is another caller I guess I would say,
this is the male version of of Genie, Jimmy Ray

(11:15):
from Tampa Bay. And you've got to be an old
school listener to know Jimmy Ray from Tampa Bay. But
Jimmy Ray would call me up, and he also sounded
like a cartoon character. He would always call me on
his way to the liquor store or either going to
get liquor or on the way home from the liquor store.
And he had some whiles. This is Jimmy Ray from
Tampa Bay and and he do the whole thing. And

(11:37):
that brings up actually a radio story that I'll have
to tell because I One of the other questions coming
up is about a he wants to hear an old
radio story and actually have a great Jimmy Ray from
Tampa Bay Radio story. But those are the cause, and
he guess that's for me. You can't answer that you
don't like callers. You're an elitist. You think that the
callers should not be on the air, that you're better

(11:57):
than them. I understanding. I don't use colors as a crutch.
I wouldn't recommend that you don't host a caller show.
You don't host anything, so it's not that's not the
way that it works. I mean, you know, if you
can help me out with that, I really appreciate I can.
You know, there's a lot for my career and paycheck.
And you know, Tommy, I gotta get some more questions.

(12:18):
Your your schmuck. I mean, these people wrote these questions.
I gotta get to him. A Tommy from Bedford, Virginia
rights in it says, guys, how long will it take you?
He started to meet Ben in particular to go to
an astro's game once play is resumed. That's from Tommy.
But as soon as I'm allowed to know, obviously, I
don't live in Houston, and so the Astros have to

(12:39):
be geographically desirable. They play, and they will play in
Anaheim once things get back to normal quite often, so
I'll be able to go to those games in Anaheim.
I might even go to Oakland and see some games.
I'm looking forward to be able to leave my house
again and travel. But I yeah, I'm once they say
it's okay to go, I'm going. I'm gonna go out.
I'm gonna go boo and hiss and do all that

(13:02):
with the Astros. I look forward to. It's one of
the things I have. It is like looking a kid
looking forward to Christmas, me looking forward to bullying the
a holes, the strows. It'll be fun. I'm waiting for them.
He had come. That's the thing that's gonna be really
discouraging is if we don't get Major League Baseball until
after July and there's no All Star Game here, I'll
be sick to my stomach because Major LEAs Major League

(13:24):
Baseball is supposed to have their All Star Game at
Dodger Stadium. So if you're gonna get one, possibly even
two or three Astros in the building in that ballpark,
like that that would have been beautiful one fun I
have been really really cool and unfortunately not going to happen.
Not going to happen, unfortunately. But yeah, I'm all all

(13:47):
about that there, Tommy, I would go to it. This Uh,
this one did not write the name act you know.
I think this is from Mark Mark in Nashville. Oh
this is different way. Mark Market Nashville asked where's you all?
A favorite place to eat at for everybody? I think
we've already talked about that. I like Tito's Tacos in
l a U must my tacos spot, uh for crunchy tacos,

(14:11):
green goo tacos. They're called in by the locals. And
then I like Langer's Deli. That's my favorite spot there.
There's a few other places I like, but as far
as chain restaurants, I would say cheesecake factories my favorite
team liston Yeah, you paid off your fuck You paid
off your week bet to me by getting me a
Philly cheese steak which really wasn't a Philly cheese steak

(14:34):
at the cheesecake factory. You you could have said, okay,
the bets squared up and eating like something else that's
better cheesecake factory. But you chose to eat the cheese anyways.
I didn't tell you you could have done something else.
I think my favorite place places to go do to eat. Um.
I love going to Mastro's. Master is a great steakhouse

(14:55):
here in l A or even in Orange County, and
the want an Orange counting down in Crystal Cove is
also connecting this plaza next to Javiers, which is a
Mexican restaurant too. But I'm eating it Naviers. Do you
like It's all right? It's a little too expensive Mexican food.
Two things about I love about Mexican food. Generally, they

(15:17):
give you big portions of foods and it's cheap. Chavey
Ears does not give you big portions of food and
it's expensive. But people watch there and there's just a
plethora of cougars that are all over the place. Cougars
are coming, the cougars coming, and the sugar Daddy is
there as well. They'll just post up sixties seventy year

(15:38):
old men. You got the jewelry on the jackets, the blazers,
and they'll go up to women that are fracturing their age.
It is great. You've got the money. The women are.
They're all ears. Un favorite place, low budget. There's a
spot two of them actually here in l A called
the Loft. It's a Hawaiian rest taurant and it's nothing

(16:01):
but like chicken cotsue, chicken karooki, macaroni, salads, some French fries.
You get a monster plate for like eight dollars. I
used to eat that back in the day when I
was little or working out a little bit more. But
that's more my speed. You would, all right, who has
the worst new NFL uniforms? Atlanta or Tampa Bay. Um,

(16:24):
I'm gonna go with Atlanta. I liked what the Carolina
Panthers did this week where they mocked the Falcon's uniforms.
And you see that little video they put out it
does it looks like the Longest Yard. It looks like
Adam Sandler's uniform in the Longest Yard. It's uh, it's
pretty funny there they goofed on them like Tampa Bay's
uniforms are boring, their lazy. They're the old uniforms they

(16:47):
brought back. They went safe. Atlanta didn't do that, but
they look they're dumb. They're that means not a good
looking uniform. I don't not I have no interest in.
I'm not a Falcon fan or Bucks fan. I've said,
and I said this on the show that the Bucketeers.
I did a Mallard monologue on the Buccaneers uniforms because
that's the world we're in right now. And my position

(17:10):
is Tampa Bay should have gone to the Creamsicle. They
should have brought back Bucko Bruce. That would have been great.
I would have bought a Bucko Bruce hat, would have
worn it. If somebody wants to buy me one for
my birthday, I will wear it. I love Bucko Bruce.
But yeah, so I don't know why teams don't go
retro Tampa Bay with their Creamsicle, the San Diego Chargers
with their baby blues. The San Diego Padres are going
back to their browns this season whenever it returns. I mean,

(17:33):
there's some old school uniforms that really rocked. I just
I don't get it. Yeah, well, part of the reason
they want to sell new stuff, right and people have
they have the old like that Tampa Bay. How are
they going to make much money on the jersey sales
because they just had those uniforms five years ago. Most
people in their closet have one of those jerseys in
their closet. Alright, Moving on, grab bag actual questions from

(17:55):
actual listeners submitted to our Facebook page, which is Ben
Mallard's show. If you want to submit a question for
a future episode of The Fifth Hour, you are more
than welcome and encouraged in fact to do that, and
we put that up usually Wednesday. We'll give you a
couple of days to put some questions in to the
podcast content. Kitty, as some would like to say, Carlos

(18:17):
any Houston says, Ben, you talk to any Do you
talk to any of the competition from other networks? If so, who? Uh? Well, Carlos,
I I do have friends that I've worked with in
radio that work at competing networks. I have some friends
that work at CBS Radio and ESPN Radio, and occasionally

(18:40):
I will chat. Some of them I don't even know
in real life, and I've just become social media friends
with some of these people. Um, who's the guy that
does the night show at ESPN Who's been there for
years at ESPN Radio. I've become I don't know. We
We send messages every once in a while back and
forth um, of course having a rain lock on his head. Um,

(19:02):
But I've come from acquaintances with him. I've several people
I know that work at CBS Sports Radio, for example,
So I you know, I don't. I I know a
ton of people at NBC. They went out of business,
but a bunch of old Fox Sports radio people we're
working there. So yeah, I mean I know some of
these people. I don't. We're not like talking every day.
I have a network of radio people, but there are

(19:25):
a lot of local guys that I've known that our
buddies that I'll send messages to, will go back and
forth and shoot the ship and complain about our situations
or what's going on in the business and that kind
of stuff. Be sure to catch live editions of The
Ben Maller Show weekdays at two a m. Eastern eleven
pm Pacific. Chris and Iowa writes, and he says, if

(19:45):
two black holes of equal mass collided, who would win?
And why this is for gascon? Gascon? You want to
answer that? Um? Blind Scott Wow Uh. Don Juan from
Delu rites and he says, would could you guys work
at a hospital right now? In this coronavirus pandemic. We now,

(20:09):
would I, uh, yeah, I would be open to it.
I would not be like, I can't work there, I'm
afraid and all this. If I could help out, I
don't know what I could do other than maybe cleaning,
which is important. Uh. I'm not really qualified to do
anything medical wise. I don't have the training for it.
I think I could figure out how to clean and
disinfect stuff if I was wearing gloves and a mask

(20:31):
and all that. Um, you know, so would I sure?
I would? You know? Could I sure? Would? I? I
have a job right now probably guess John would not
so he's west of the four oh five. So you
would not go into a hospital work right now? Lost gone,
that would be below Of course I would. I guess.
I got friends that are in medicine. I got friends
that are nurses and doctors, friends that are in pharmacy.

(20:52):
I would. I mean, that is the war that we're
in right now. It's not on the on the front
lines of the military of the armed force is. But yeah,
I mean in the medical field. Obviously I don't have
any kind of education in that background. But one of
my good friends is actually in trauma and he's doing
this in Dublin. I think the higher risk, believe it
or not, um or the men and women that are

(21:14):
are civil servants, says fire or police officers, because they
have little to no protection from the coronavirus and they
still got jobs to do. I mean, they're taken some procedures,
but they're not full like ppees right Like, they don't
have the masks, they don't have the gloves on the face,
shields and whatnot. And I see the crap that's going

(21:34):
on in New York with officers getting hit, and I
think that's I mean that that in itself is a
bigger risk. And I think being inside of a hospital
right now, well, I could he talk about front Lines.
How about I could work at it. I think I
could handle the grocery store. We had a lot of
guys that listen to the show that are stalking the
show grocery stores. I think I can handle that that.

(21:56):
I always said that i'd work at Costco if I
could work in radio, it would be my fallback and
go to Costco. But I don't even know if I
could get a job at Costco now because it's so
and that's where that's where the work is. But there's
a lot of people already obviously filling those. Yeah, you
can work for Amazon. How about that you could transport
the groceries. There you go, they can do that, absolutely

(22:17):
correct on that. Al Right, it is grab bag. And
who is next year, oh Jack in Greensboro, North Carolinas.
Is if the world continues to fall apart and you
are finally deemed non essential in sports radio, what is
your backup plane? Well, I just said working at Costco.
But I'm a hustler, Jack, and uh, I'm I'll do
something if whatever, whatever work I can get because my

(22:40):
goal is to not end up like that bum in
Miami weed man hippie. So i will find a way
to get employment. And I'm not afraid to do something.
Well that's below you. I don't really care about that.
I just I have bills to pay and whatever will
help me reach that destination, I am more than willing
to do. I'm very lucky that I have the job
I have now, but I know this doesn't last forever,

(23:01):
so I would certainly be willing to do something else.
And uh, Gascon's got a bigger problem because you would
not You were your West of the four oh five.
So you would not go below that. Yeah, I'm gonna
different predicament, especially because a lot of my background was
in sales, Like I started in sales when I was
in college. At you're playing football, and then you know,
I got a couple of degrees, and my degrees aren't

(23:22):
even in sports and entertainment. Humble brag battors degree from
San Diego State and the masters from Northeastern, extra creamy,
proud of being an Aztec and a Husky. I think
it'd be, you know, it would be a tough transition
for me. Give you a whole Let me give you
a gold star here, I men give you a little

(23:42):
gold start. Appreciate that a little start background too, if
you like at an out of boy, appreciate like that,
you know, high five and it was good. How you done?
I am? Freddie writes. He says, was that John Hayman
on the phone doing your radio show the other day,

(24:07):
you know, right after Real Talk brought your entire show down. Yes,
that was a John Hayman segment on the call. Everyone's
a fucking critic, all right, Robert Wrights, And he says,
to stop the pandemic and open all sports back up,
you have to choose three professional athletes to make retire.

(24:30):
They have to be an All Star to m v
P caliber player, all of them from the NBA, NFL
or Major League Baseball. Surely there are three top level
players you could do without. All Right, Well, I'm gonna
go first, guest, scout, I've got my three. Al Right,
this will end the coronavirus pandemic. These three athletes are
gonna have to retire. I've got Jose Altuve, Alex Bregman,

(24:53):
and Justin Verlander as my three. Who says no to that?
Come on, that's pretty good. It's a good list, right, yeah,
Anders say young guy breg Man, Al Touba All Stars
are Tobas a former m v P when he cheated
to win the MVP Awards. So those are my three guys.
Done boom easy, Yeah, I'd be down for Bryce Harper,
Aaron Rodgers and Lebron James. I'm right there with you

(25:16):
on Lebron. I think the basketball would be better without Lebron.
I think that would be great. Sure, get rid of Lebron.
How about Russell Westbrook too? How about no Russell Westbrook.
Don't bye bye to Russ. I like Westbrook, Man, You
would like him healthy. He's a pit bull man, terrible teammate,
just like you. I've got him a great teammate, she
asked me. He thinks he's a great teammate too if

(25:39):
you ask him. Same thing, same toal. Alright, uh Jesse
from Pomona Rights, and he's a big p one in
the Mille militia, he says. With sports now gone for
good these days, has this been the hardest you've had
to work? All? Right now, Jessie, I get this question
a lot, and I guess I'll answer it every week. Um,

(26:01):
it's it's different, but I have actually been pleasantly surprised.
I figured by a month into this that we would
really be on death doorstep, but we am not. I
I the way I will say, it's kind of like
the alcohol content, the volume of alcohol. You know how
some alcoholic beverages have more alcohol in them than others.

(26:23):
Like I feel like normally the alcohol content in sports
radio is like a seventy, but now we're at about
a twenty. There's still alcohol content, you know, there's still
some power there, but not as much. There's not as
much variety. I like variety. There's it's harder to find
variety right now, Jesse, because of the times we're in.

(26:47):
But there's decent things to talk about. And so I
have been, like I said, pleasantly surprised that we have
not reached rock bottom. So that's good thing. I just
it annoys me now more than ever that list radio
has been so prevalent. And hey, I haven't done list

(27:07):
radio guests. I know, for taking, I've not done Mount Rushmore.
I haven't done that. No, this, none us. So we
have list Radio, the Mount Rushmore. Then we have the
stupid uniform height videos that we get now, so people
are talking about uniforms, the East sports coming into play
with these athletes that are playing video games. Those are
the things that we're having conversations about now, which is

(27:29):
a little it's a lot annoying. It's not a little annoying,
it's a lot annoying. So part of the NFL. But yeah,
that's where you comes from. Derek in uh Whiteville, Virginia.
I think that'say. You say, w Y T H E
v I L L E Virginia says if you had

(27:49):
a professional wrestling name, what would it be. I feel
like we've we've had this question before, and Uh, you
have a different name this weekend. My name this week
will be Baracouda Benny. That will be my wrestling name
this week. Bara could have been. Adrian writes in and says,
have you ever walked out of a movie? And if so,
which one? I feel like I've been asked this over

(28:09):
the years, also, Adrian, But um, I have walked out
of a few movies. The one I remember, the last
one I walked out of I was with my wife
at a movie theater in l A. We walked out
of Ted two, the seth McFarland talking Bear movie. The
second one we walked out of that. She did not
enjoy that film, and we skid out a lout of

(28:31):
here to go have dinner. So that was right next
to the Italian Place in North Hollywood, not north East Hollywood. Uh, Palermos,
Have you ever been to Palermo? It's great, It's wonderful. Um,
I'm surprised, that's how like an old police hang out, Palermos.
Surprised you hadn't been there. I'm not in police, so

(28:52):
I know. But your family. You figured your dad might
have taken your back in the day, you know, Nah
kept me away from all that ship. I was just
a fucking Italian restaurant dude, who cares. I don't know.
Have you ever walked out of a movie? No, I've
never walked out of a movie. I don't know why,
and I've watched some bad movies in my time. I
was tempted to walk into the last Star Wars movie.

(29:15):
Star Wars movies have really really taken a turn down
to the no pun intend dark side. Well haven't they
just become chick flicks? Now? Yeah? Got the agendas? The
exactly got check a box? Check the box. Uh. This
is from Dan and Durham, North Carolina, listening to the podcast.
He says, we have to free range urban chickens. Cheryl

(29:37):
and and uh Cheryl and Cheryl Cheryl with an asked
or Cheryl and Cheryl I guess, I don't know, Cheryl
with an S and then Cheryl with a C. One day,
Cheryl ate a whole live garden snake. Cheryl was piste
that Cheryl didn't share. The question is, are you guys
aware that chickens can eat snakes? No, I've never heard

(30:00):
of Have you ever heard of that? That was? That
was not discussed on supersize too, so I have no
idea that that was possible. I do like that he
included free range. That was great. That's a good line
by Dan h No. I always thought chickens just eat
that ship they put in the chicken coop. You know

(30:21):
that's whatever that chicken feed alright? Uh? Fats from Philly.
I love this guy. Fats, he says the rumor of
eating a bat to start the pandemic. With that being said,
the most unusual foods you have experienced? Again, I have
him asked some version of Fats. I only eat what
I know and like. I don't leave the reservation with

(30:42):
food almost almost never. At this point in my life,
I've established I'm, you know, in the middle aged guy.
I know what I like, I know what I don't like,
and I very rarely go away from my comfort zone
when it comes to food. So I'm the wrong person
to ask. The right person is the elitist one percent
day of a gascon who was eating probably every animal

(31:03):
on God's Earth over the years. I would think, no, No,
I've tried squid before. Would you eat a bat? No?
You would not eat a bat. Have you eaten spiders? No?
Never eaten cockroaches? No? I'm not diverse when it comes
to eating all these exotic things that people would classify

(31:24):
as he deep fried a cockroach and put on it
would taste fine. May would you know if you wrap
something in bacon, I'd probably be more reluctant to try it.
You'd be you'd be more open or more reluctant, more reluctant,
more reluctant. They just wrapped in bacon just because, like

(31:44):
bacon is the end all be all of foods, Like
bacon usually makes anything good. But if you have to
put it and you have to compliment it with bacon,
then that's selling me something else. Huh. Do you know
the history of him that we'll have to do a
a future show about the history of bacon. No, you

(32:05):
do not, No, I we'll have to get I don't
have time to do that right now, because that's that's
worthy of its own standard. But right like, bacon always
makes things better, and if you need to mask it
with bacon, you're in trouble. Well you so you're saying
those street hot dogs in l A that are bacon wrap,
that are really uncooked hot dogs you should not be
eating because the tasting the bacon and you're not tasting

(32:27):
the disgusting stuff in there. It's like rat on the
streets of Ella. All right. Uh, these are actual questions
by actual listeners. Jim from Minnesota, he says, the Minnesota
Mallard Militia checking in said, you shared a funny story
about your days with hack Saw. How he said some
very inappropriate, something very inappropriate. Didn't realize, Yeah, hacks I

(32:47):
used to interview a writer from the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
named Mike Hunt and Hacksaw. Would I love Hacksaw. We
should get him on the podcast. But he would rees
that and he would say, we're talking with Mike Hunt
from and it sounded like he was saying, you know,
you know what he sounds like he was saying. And
that was very enjoying, very enjoyable for those of us

(33:09):
that were the radio station. We're laughing hysterically. And Jim says,
I'd like to hear some more ridiculous, awkward, crazy experiences
you've had New Year's in radio with people in situations.
He says he loved the fifth hour last week with
your friend and guests from the old Clipper days. Well, Jim,
I've got one. I mentioned I was gonna tell this earlier.
It involves Jimmy Ray from Tampa Bay. Uh. This is

(33:30):
one of the funniest things. When I write my book,
I'm gonna have part of a chapter dedicated to Jimmy
Ray from Tampa Bay. So, Jimmy was a very eccentric, outgoing,
flamboyant caller and outraging alcoholic, and unfortunately that led to
his untimely demise from this planet. But he was a
great character on our radio show years ago, and Jimmy

(33:54):
had reached out to me. His health was getting worse.
He had cancer. He was not in good shape, and
so I was keeping him comfort in the last part
of his life, and I knew that the end he
was not getting good news on the cancer. It was
not going well for him, and so, but we were corresponding,
and then finally Jimmy passed away and one of his

(34:14):
friends contacted me and said that that Jimmy's wish, one
of his final wishes, was that some of his he
was had written poetry and he wanted me to read
some poetry on the air that he had written, and
they were gonna play this at his funeral. Okay, So
this was the bit and so I said, okay, you

(34:36):
know what, I don't normally do this kind of thing.
It's very awkward for me, but I will do this.
I love Jimmy Ray. He was great for the show.
He was a great character. So I'm gonna do this.
So the guy sends me a poem that Jimmy Ray
had written, and he says, all right, tell me when
you're gonna do this. I'm gonna make sure I can
record it and then I'm gonna I'm gonna play this
at the funeral. So I said, okay, I'm gonna do it.
You know, the second be block, uh, Saturday Night was

(34:58):
doing weekend overnight Saturday and Night when I'm put the
poem in here. So I get on the air and
I'm gonna say I have some poetry coming up. You know,
I have poetry. I'm so excited about this. So I
then and I don't announce because I didn't want to
say this is for Jimmy Raise funerals. I didn't announce.
So I then read the poetry and it was, you know,

(35:20):
it was okay, it was fine. I don't really remember
what the poetry was. All I remember is I'm reading
the poetry and I'm interrupted before I even finished the
poem from Steve to Seger at the news desk. The
Segar then shines in and says, roses are red, violence
are blue, and I'm a better poet than you, and
and then proceeds to rip Jimmy raised poem poem and

(35:44):
oh my god, they're gonna play this at his funeral,
your dummy, and and and then the Sager to this day,
when I bring this story up to the Sager, I
love Steve, but Steve tells me said, well, you didn't
tell me, said down, what are you doing? So I
just imagine at this funeral somewhere in the Tampa area
that all of Jimmy Ray's drinking buddies from the bar

(36:08):
were gathered around the you know, his his tomb and
his grave, and they're playing on a little cassette recorder.
They're playing this and they hear the saga ripping the
ship out of Jimmy Ray's poem. It's just hilarious. That's
a great Steve Disaga story. It was so amazing, you know,
And I was just trying to be smooth, you know,

(36:29):
guest on, I didn't as I didn't want to announce
what I why I was doing I just wanted to
do it as a tribute to Jimmy Ray and Saga.
Just it's totally ship all over. It was, it was hilarious,
it was it was wild. Um anyway, so that's my story.
Jim I'm at from Mansfield, Texas, right, and he says,
my wife just started watching Mick Millions, which brings to

(36:53):
mind the question outside of the Astros scandal, what's your
favorite sports? Scan you want to go for a first
guest and what's your favorite sports skin man? Um, do
you consider wrestling? Uh? Sports? Yeah? Sure, yeah, alright, I
guess I'd go way back. This is in the nineties

(37:14):
when Brett Hart was screwed over by Vince McMahon. UM.
I don't know, I forget what it was, but they
referred to as the Montreal screw job or Vince McMahon
U conspired with UH with a couple of different wrestlers
too OUs Brett to hit man Heart because there was
a main event that was supposed to be taking place

(37:36):
or was taking place in Canada, where Brett Hart is from,
and Sean Michaels was his opponent for that match, and
there was a point in the match or um, Sean
Michaels performed Brett Hart's finishing move, which is a sharp shooter,
and at that point what happened with Sean Michaels was
supposed to put him in the sharp shooter and Bret

(37:57):
Hart was going to reverse the move, reverse the move
and then eat Shawn Michaels with a sharpshooter. That never happened.
McMahon was sitting ringside and he told the official to
like ring the bell, and then rang the bell and
it screwed Brett Hard out of the belt and he
was supposed to be retiring after that, UM, And so
obviously he was like, what the funk went on? Obviously,

(38:18):
you know, wrestling the stage. But when the match was over,
he hawked this giant loogie at Vince McMahon and it
was known as the Montreal screw Job. So you can
go back and watch that on on YouTube. I forget
what if there a documentary of it? Um? Well, I
know that they have stuff on the ww E channel
regarding UM regarding that event, So UM, I forget what

(38:39):
it was. I don't know if it was WrestleMania or
a Summer Slam. Um, yeah, it was. I forget what
it was, but it was an event. Oh, Survivor series,
that's what was back in Survivor series. So so yeah,
that was That was probably my biggest sports controversy. I mean,
the up with deflate gate really doesn't get up there.

(39:02):
The Astros is number one, that's yeah, the Astros is
great right now. I would say at the time, the
Kobe Bryant rape thing was wild. The Tiger Woods mistress
story that broke on Thanksgiving. I'll never forget the night
I was on the radio because I was working in
Thanksgiving weekend and TMZ dropped the bomb on Tiger Woods

(39:24):
right and it was what was so crazy? And I
did a monologue right away without knowing all the facts.
Of course, I did a monologue and legally blind Brett.
I will never forget the phone call from legally Brian Brett.
He called up and said, he starts berating me. This
is nothing, this is a non story. You're wasting time.

(39:45):
It's tabloid crap from TMZ. Don't believe it. You're better
than this. You shouldn't be talking about Tiger Woods and
the mistress. It's fake, you know, it's like fake's story
or whatever. And uh became the biggest story in in
the the world entertainment or sports at the time. How
about the Michael Vick dog fighting That was good. That

(40:06):
was good. The man taita fake dead girlfriend was a
wild story when that came out. I mean, there's been
a bunch of them. There's been a bunch of these
things over the years, but the Kobe sexual so the
astros is number one, but the Kobe sexual assault, want
had happened, Michael Vick dog fighting, all these these things
over the years has been been Aaron her Aaron her
name isn't the murderer. And when he got arrested for murder,

(40:29):
how wild was that an active NFL player, I mean
arrested in charge with murder. I think even the blackout
in the Super Bowl between the Ravens and was pretty
good too. I mean, yeah, we've had a lot of
scandals that have popped up. Yeah, you don't forget about
you kind of forget about him in the moment you
know it's it's time goes on. Nancy care again, that
one was good with Tanya Harding. Yes, you got a

(40:50):
hit man out there, Ray Carruth. And now obviously you've
got Chris Johnson, how about Ray Lewis the bloody suit
the Super Bowl two thousand? Remember that that was that
wasn't o? J. Simpson. Fox Sports Radio has the best
sports talk lineup in the nation. Catch all of our
shows at Fox sports Radio dot com and within the
I Heart Radio app search f s R to listen live.

(41:14):
I mean I have a couple more, a couple more
questions here. Jeff and Clarksville, Indiana, across the Ohio River
from Louisville, Kentucky, says, what is the most redneck thing
you own or have done? The mallam militia wants to know. Alright,
you're a redneck? Yeah, okay, I guess most redneck thing
that I have if you want to consider redneck or
two things. Um, I have an old school generally like

(41:38):
when I was a kid, I love dukes of hazard,
So I got the old school car models of that.
Um you ever had a truck bed? Jaccuzzy, that's a
redneck thing to do? Put you've never done. I was
asked to take some rather um different glamour shots once.
Oh much like Oscar dal La Hoya. No, not like that.

(42:03):
So I had a dress up as a redneck. So
I don't wear this trucker hat and I had to
shave part of my beards that looked like I had
this handlebar mustache that was fucking awful. I don't wear
this like black and gray flannel. I did look like
I was from the South. Actually, Like what, I don't
know that i'd have any redneck tendencies? What do you
think as anything? You know? What you know about me

(42:25):
is anything that's like redneck? I sling shot? Like did
you everyone on sling shot as a kid, and like
shoot birds or like no, I never shot birds. I
did have at one point I played around with a
sling shot. But I used to hang out in the
orange groves when I grew up in Orange County. There
nothing but orange grows around the wood I grew up in.
So we used to run around and throw oranges that
we had a big orange fights and stuff like that
back in the day. Like I think redneck, I think fishing,

(42:49):
I think guns. What else do I think? Trucks? Big trucks.
A lot of the people I live around have I
tell my wife all the time, I said, where we live,
there's people driving around big trucks with like flags in
the back. Yeah, I feel like that's kind of a
redneck thing to do. That's a stereotype for the redneck. Uh.
I see a lot of that in my area. But
I don't think there's anything. I'm just gonna be something.

(43:10):
I just I'm not recalling anything right now. Like I've
I've never made a redneck raft, you know, where they
just like put like a chair on a couple of
piece of sticks and they go out in the lake.
I've never done that. Yeah, So nothing nothing comes to mind.
I guess that's not good. That's not good, all right?
Do we have any don't stick to sports. You got

(43:31):
a couple of those you want to sneak in here? Guests?
About one here at work? Um, I was in the
studio and the studio itself and how it's assembled now
for all essential personnel is there's nobody that's in the
same studio outside of like with people that are on
your show, Roberto and Cooper in the same studio, but
where Eddie is at, Eddie is by himself. So I

(43:52):
was in that same spot. A few days ago. One
of your producers that we've worked with, Gavin kinsel Um,
came in to shoot the ship with me about something
that was going on, just playing grab bass or whatever.
And my shift at the time was eleven and four o'clock.
Um Gavin was done talking, he left, and then an
hour hour and a half later, I get off of

(44:14):
work and as I'm packing up, Steve de Seger no
Brian family comes into the studio and I'm trying to leave.
The only problem is I was looking for my keys
and I couldn't find my keys. I had gone from
my car to the main studio to the update studio,
and that was it. Only three spots in this entire
building that I was in. Looked at my bag, looked
at my jacket, looked in the studio, looked in the

(44:36):
other studio. Nothing, no keys anywhere. Could not find it
one bit. So I go to my car. You're going
now by the way, I know I'm going. See now.
I go to my car to check and see if
the door was unlocked. It was not. But I have
keys that are sensory activated, so if you leave, uh,
if you leave the car, the door locks automatically. So

(44:57):
I was like, okay, there's no way I would have
locked my keys in the car, but couldn't find my keys. Anywhere.
Then this one on for like an hour and a
half to two hours. I could not find my keys,
and I was so piste off that I called Triple A,
and Triple A came and jimmy my door, got it open.
The alarm obviously goes off, but my keys weren't in
the vehicle, and I had no idea where the funk

(45:20):
my keys were, So I started asking people if they
took my keys as a prank. And this goes on
for two hours total in length, and I called Gavin.
I'm like, hey, yo, buy any chance do you have
my keys? He's like what, I'm like, do you have
my car keys? He's like no, why would I have
your car keys? I was like, I don't know. I'm
just asking. I can't find my keys. I can't fucking

(45:40):
leave and go home. Where the funk are my keys?
He calls me back fifteen minutes later and he's like, hey,
do you have a Toyota. I'm like, yeah, I have
a fucking Toyota. I have your keys. I'll be down
there in twenty minutes. That fucker made me a call
Triple A in a waste an additional two and a
half hours for his as to get here so I

(46:01):
can get my fucking keys back. I wanted to be
that's great. That's not great. Why is that great? About
his email address right now? So people canna attack him going,
I don't have it off the top of my head,
but I have a telephone number, so you want now,
I don't want to do that. How about this? Residents
right now out in Riverside County run the risk man.
If they don't wear masks in public, they could face

(46:23):
a fine of one thousand dollars. Yeah, this is crazy
to me. I feel like we're taking this to levels
it does not need to be taken to. Yes, now,
I am following the guidelines, um, and I think most
people are. And if other people choose not to, I
don't think they deserve a thousand dollar fine. Really, it

(46:44):
seems it seems rather absurd to me. It seems like
police state ish. Shall we say? Well, it's the world
we live in. How about this? Here? In Los Angeles,
there's a porn based production company called Vixen Media Group.
They announced the option for certain performers to receive two
d and fifty thousand dollars worth of production equipment that
includes cameras, toys and lingerie to continue performing. How about

(47:09):
that show must go on, Show must go on. These
people need to perform. I assuming this is for the
women mostly not the dudes, right is maybe I don't know. Yeah,
I don't know. That's pretty fascinating. So the world be
living right now. You gotta adapt and overcome no pun intended.
That's right, exactly. There you go. I love some of

(47:30):
these some of the stuff. The uh did you see
the newspaper in Cleveland. This is a great headline the
Cleveland Plane Dealer. The newspaper staff was told they can
no longer cover Cleveland. The twenty two journalists, unfortunately, we're
let go. The remaining fourteen people that work at the

(47:55):
newspaper were told they could no longer cover Cleveland, Kyahoga
count or the state of Ohio. He said, you're only
you're not. Apparently the give you the details on this.
There was a statement released that the remaining staff um
they this. According to TV station in Cleveland, the Plain

(48:16):
Dealer shared news reporting focus with the members of the
news room and they they said, essentially no local journalism
because there's five counties in the greater Cleveland area and uh,
they're they're told not to cover Cleveland is absolutely fantastic. Yeah,

(48:37):
it is. Uh, it would kind of be like running
a sports radio. Don't cover sports like they've told us not.
Then we can talk about all this stuff. But we're
still a sports radio network, you know. It's it's uh,
it's pretty wild man. This baby to bed, Yes, the
baby is going to bed, and I hope you have

(48:58):
a great day. Will be back the radio Sunday night
in the Monday morning, eleven pm in the West on
a Sunday night, that's two am in the East. And
if you're in a different time zone, figure it out.
No colors, right, no colors at all. Well, it's an
interactive show, Gascon caller driven. You can interact on social

(49:20):
media Facebook and Twitter and Instagram. L We don't take
many calls, dummy. You make it seem like we take
a ton of call fewer calls now than I've ever
taken before. We take a couple here and there, maybe
to an hour or something like that. That's painful. Yeah,
six calls in in four hours or or eight calls
in four hours. I'm not a fan of it. I'm

(49:41):
just I'm just trying to be honest with you. Well,
people aren't a fan of you either, and I've I've
been how many people have sent me emails said, please
get rid of Guestcon. I can't listen to the podcast.
You moving man, Matt and or Mark Rather He's like, hey,
are Matt Rather, He's like, hey, you can't. You can't
have guest I hate Gascon an idiot anyway? All right, Uh,

(50:02):
if you want to reach out, tell a friend about
the podcast. If you want to recommend somebody that we
can interview, we had Lenny Dike Straw on. We had
a friend of mine from Radio League Kleine last week.
If you want to recommend somebody for a future episode
of the show, you can certainly do that. You can
contact me on Twitter at Ben Maller, Facebook, Ben Mallers Show.
On our Instagram page for me is Ben Maller on Fox.

(50:24):
We also have a show email that we can give out,
which is the Fifth Hour, I believe right, the Fifth
Hour at gmail dot com and guest gons on social
media also yeah on Twitter at David J. Gascon and
Instagram at Dave Gascon. Alright, be safe, stay healthy, and
we'll catch you next time.