October 10, 2020 • 46 mins
Pressed into pinch hitting duties, Ben's weekday radio show was ambushed by a familiar face and it was with good reason. The criticism was sharp and filled with anger, but the ratings told a different tale. So how was David's performance as Ben's executive producer?
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Show week days at two a m. Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
If you thought four hours a day, minutes a week
was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants of
the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich
(00:21):
pill poppers in the penthouse. The clearing House of Hot
takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with
Ben Mallard starts right now that it does. We are
in the air everywhere, coast to coast, order to moorder beyond,
because as you know, four hours clearly not enough on
(00:44):
the overnight. We do this eight days a week, eight
days a week. The Fifth Hour with Ben Mallard made possible,
in part, at least for us by Cameo Cameo dot com.
And I've done a few of those things recently. But
by the way, it does help us out. If you
some of you guys haven't been writing reviews lately and
you want those. I don't mind doing them because some
(01:05):
people like, hey, keep it private. I don't want this
getting out there, which is fine. I'm cool with that,
but just doing a little review, do a little review.
It's it's kind of cool there. So if you want
a cameo personal video, it's not that much. Although I
was told we'll bring in David Gascon from West of
the four oh five, who ruined the show the other night.
We'll get in to that in a minute. There is
no applause today, Guscot. We don't have any applaus for you.
(01:28):
I think the crowd that normally arrives with me is
sound asleep. They've been working hard or last forty eight hours,
and so they've taken some time off. Although I have
not so interesting interesting. So we had Arnie on, Yes, dude,
I love Arnie Man. We had so many good times
back in the day. I hope people didn't hate that.
(01:49):
That was like old guy, uh, you know, glory days radio.
We were talking about the glory days. We had so
much fun. It wasn't great. I don't hate listening to
that stuff. I just, um, I don't know about you,
but like listening back to those things or listen to
you guys talk and just it kind of makes me
disappointed because you guys did what you did and you
can't do that anymore. Oh, I know, I know, and
(02:12):
it's like it happened like in front of my eyes
and I didn't quite realize it. And now it's gone.
It's gone. That time is gone. Uh you know. But hey,
the way I look at it, like even now, I
guarantee you whoever is doing radio twenty years from now
and knock on would I'll be doing it and you'll
be doing it. But you say, oh, it was better
twenty years ago, you know, because things continue to evolve
(02:33):
and change. I would love to see it go back.
I don't know the way it would go back to.
I don't know a way that he could go back
to the way it had been, you know, twenty years ago,
twenty five years ago and whatnot. But I just think
it's tough because we you discussed this when you were
working at w E. I is that you get one
person that makes the claim and starts grabbing audio from
(02:53):
whatever you said, takes offense to it, and goes up
the food chain of a program director or GM, and
then boom, you guys are five. Oh yeah, Well we
had Jerry Callahan, my Jerry Callen, my friend from Boston.
He does a podcast now, and Jerry's great, and he
was very talented at a great run as a he's
a columnist in Boston and a very successful writer at
Sports Illustrated. Had a popular show that had the number
(03:14):
one morning show in Boston, the Kirk and Callahan Show,
and it all went away because a one nut job
that had a axe to grind and didn't like them
and had a lot of money and just kept attacking
them until you know, the sponsors and things like that,
until the station decided to to go their separate ways.
(03:36):
It's a cautionary to It's very scary tale. I should
make a movie, I told Jerry when we had him on.
I believe that, not that they make many radio movies anymore,
but they should make a movie about that. That's a
horror stories. What that is. That is a horror story
and there's no other way to tell it. So anyway,
coming up on today's podcast, we have a look back,
another look back, And we didn't obviously get to this
(03:59):
on Friday because we had Arnie uh in here and
but a lot of people have been sending me messages
here and commenting about your performance on the show, and
so we're gonna get to that. And we we also
have one of my favorite bits, and why not, we
will do pop quiz, will do a few pop quiz
questions as well, and so and whatever else pops up,
(04:21):
guest and whatever else pops up. And it's the Halloween season,
it's election season. We had the vice president presidential debate
the other day. We both watched that it was taken
over by a fly, which is still amazing to me.
Of all the things that fly, which is probably dead right,
And don't the the average fly lasts like a couple
(04:41):
of days. That's it. I think the question is did
you time it? Did you clock the fly on Vice
President Mike Pence's head? Well, as soon as I noticed it,
I was in such a panic. I I was, I
was watching the baseball game on one TV and I
had the debate on the other, and so or I
had a debate on the TV, and I had the
baseball game on the computer, and so I mean, I fly,
(05:02):
you know, I tweeted you. I text you I was
like fly fly and as you said on the show,
you thought that was a baseball reference, which I get um,
and I, oh, it was amazing. It was the most
dramatic thing. I said, went it is that fly dead?
You know? Maybe the fly's dead, and you know they should,
you know, stop it and get rid of the dead fly.
And I say, because the flight doesn't usually my my
(05:23):
experience with flies is they don't normally stay in one
place very long. They're always moving, They're always flying around.
And that fly sat there and was like, I'm moving
in I'm gonna nest in the hair of the Vice
President of the United States on live national television during
a vice presidential debate, and Mike Pence. Uh, he was
(05:44):
so focused on what he was saying, um, and I
give him credit for this, he did not. He did
not acknowledge the fly. And the other thing is, you know,
from doing TV guest and there's there's monitors around there.
They know they can see if they look at the monitor,
it's hard not to notice the fly. He's got why
hair and there's a black fly landing on his head. Yeah.
I think it's safe to say, though, with where Mike
(06:05):
Pence was at and who he was with, this is
this is like Rocky going into Russia and Rocky four
against Drago, Like nobody's gonna do that guy any favors
at all. You had? Uh? Oh, yeah, Well it's codd
Rayder and then Senator Kamala Harris. Well, it's kind of
like me doing the show Benny Versus the World every night,
Benny Versus the World, just spitting facts, spit spit spit
(06:27):
spit spit spit spit spit spit backs. Do you like
Did you like Kamala Harris? Is there her gyrations, her
body language to the camera. That was a little that
kind of reminded me of of Hillary Clinton from two thousand. Yeah,
I wonder if that's gonna work like it won't. Yeah,
I tend to agree, like I obviously, I um, you know,
(06:49):
looking the other direction here, but even if you're I
don't know if anyone is actually neutral. But I don't know.
I just that kind of people like that, if that's real,
I don't think she's real. She's a politician, she's been
very success picking men to help her out, but I
I just can't imagine that that you want to be
around people like that, you know? It just it was
very annoying. But she was one of the lowest rated
(07:11):
Democratic nominees for the president. I had states who was
the guy that helped her early on her career that
she was going on with what was the guy's name
in San Francisco, Mayor right, It wasn't like Mayor Brown
or something like. Okay, Jeffrey. I read it somewhere online.
But yeah, that just the I mean, the posturing is
one thing, but you have, like you said, you have
cameras on seven so they're taking any kind of body
(07:34):
language away. And you know, Mike Pence was kind of
it was cool. I know that he interrupted her a
couple of times, and the moderator also said, like, hey,
you're constantly talking over her, you're interrupting her. We need
to give her some time. We're actually at the end
of the debate, Senator Harris had more talking time than
the Vice President Pence. I wonder how that happened. Yeah, yeah,
(07:56):
I did like that Pence at one point he you know,
all these places they don't directly answer the questions. So
you didn't answer the question. You know, she didn't answer
the question. She tap aanswer around, just smiled and winked
at the camera and moved on. Like every hack politician ever,
how they all do it. Yeah, it's a it's a
fun time, but it's extremely volatile, and I think it'll
(08:17):
probably even more volatile as the days get closer to
November the three, especially on your show, because you it
seems like you have a split squad on Uh yeah,
well it's not a political show, but yeah, I mean
Coop he doesn't get any more you know, limousine liberal
than Cooper Loope. I mean, he's the definition of that.
(08:38):
Roberto's I think that way as well. I don't know,
and Eddie's just kind of neutral. Eddie doesn't really get
into it that much. But yeah, that's fine. Listen, we'll
be on the night of the election, which I don't
know how much sports we're gonna talk about, but it
canna be a crazy night, man, It's gonna be a
crazy night election night. I just remember the mandate from
(08:59):
a few years ago that was sent out to everybody,
don't talk politics. This is a day. It was the
day after the election when things went down, and I
was just like, all right, so I wonder what host
it was. And then I found out and I'm like, yeah,
it wasn't me, gascoont it wasn't It wasn't me that
(09:20):
gotten that truck. I mean, there's a way that you
could kind of bleed it in and bleed it out
right as opposed to going to know and listen. I mean, obviously,
as a podcast, we talked about politics a little bit,
but it's just mostly a sports podcast, and I understand
people tune in to hear sports and I get that.
I I understand that to the argument, and during the
middle of the pandemic, we did show were no sports
(09:42):
going on, so we talked about a lot of different
things and people were triggered by it some people, some
people loved it and wanted us just to do that.
And it's pretty much a microcosm of society today, right,
you know, depending on your your you look for you
look for your people that are your cheerleaders too, and
you want to hear people that are on your team,
and that's what you want here, and I'm all for that.
But it's it's even more odd nowadays when we go
(10:05):
on social media and we actually have colleagues that are
rooting or tweeting or retweeting or favorite ng tweets from
individuals that support a sitting president not only getting the
coronavirus but potentially dying from it. Oh yeah, well, that
that was some of some of the some of the
news reports from the from the liberal outposts in the
(10:28):
media were hilarious, Like they were really excited. I had
friends of mine that are you know, some of my
buddies who I worked with the past, were big liberal guys,
and they were like really excited. They thought this was
gonna do in Trump. They were like convinced that this
was it. Their dreams were gonna come true. And it
was a month before the election, and oh my god,
this is the most wonderful thing. And then to see
(10:49):
their reaction when like a couple of days later, he's
back at the White House, Oh my god, it was
so upset. They was so angry, so angry that Chrump
did not end up in a un a ventilator somewhere.
I get it, as some people love him, see some
people hate him. But how fucking how morbid you gotta
be to root for a sitting president to die from
a terrible disease. Yeah, I you know, I I've said
(11:16):
many times. I obviously more in the Republican side, but
I would love to meet a president, any president. I
think it'd be cool. I respect the office of the presidency,
and this is kind of how I was raised. I
know a lot of people only respected if their teams
in the White House. But I don't. I mean, if
if Biden happens to win, and uh, you know he
wants to invite me over there, I'll hang out with him.
I'm not against that, you know, I'm I'm open to it.
(11:38):
But a lot of people I know, I don't know
you I can't hang out with. I always love when
you go to the they go to like the Nazi card, right,
that's always as I said with Coop, and Coop got
so upset with me. He got so upset with me,
guesscon when I brought this up. But it's true. It's
like goodwins law. It is accepted. When anybody brings up
(11:58):
the Hitler card, you've lost the argument, right, and and
also any trace of respect, uh, having to resort to
comparing the person you don't like to the most infamous,
mass murdering, evil dictator in the history of the modern world. Um,
you've lost. And people just continue to do it. Thought
(12:19):
that's their go to a car. And I saw an
NBC reporters to the other day that he felt safer
reporting in North Korea than he does inside the White House.
That was that was awesome. Well, that's that's the same
as like the crap Lebron James and some of these
people are saying it's just absurd, but they they have
a former saying they're saying it, so it's I think.
(12:39):
I think the best part of what that forum is
that over the last three and a half four years
now as that I have discovered and I'm sure you
have too, that I have discovered so many people on
social media that are not only c p a s,
but they're criminal investigators, their doctors of they're they're virologists,
(13:00):
like everyone is tied now to all things politics, that
they're professionals and all these different categories revolving around the
president United States. Yeah, well I would like to know
and maybe you know this, like I don't. I'm not
all that. I don't tweet a lot. I'm on Twitter
and I'll send out videos of the show and occasionally
(13:22):
I'll throw out a great one liner about the Dodgers
something like that, or the a s strows um. But
there are people I am convinced because when Trump tweets
something out and he goes on these Twitter storms, it's
like the same seven or eight people, and it doesn't
mean like Trump President Trump will tweet at random times,
and no matter when he sends the tweet out, it's
(13:45):
like the same seven or eight people that are right
there ready to throw a CounterPunch, Like what are these are?
They always just staring refresh, refresh on their phone. So
they get some kind of an alert there within a minute,
within a minute, there me needately responding to whatever he
says and whatever he says is wrong, whatever he says
is wrong. He could say I have solved hunger, I
(14:08):
have solved poverty, and you are a bomb? How dare you?
You are a liar and r rat? People deserve to
have poverty. What's wrong with you? Well, it's like the
notifications for Adam Schefter, Adrian origin Anowski. As soon as
they tweet something out and you have your notifications on
for those guys, you get them right away. And you know,
everyone's kind of lot to the hip with whatever you know,
(14:29):
Trump tweets out or Obama or Hillary and so notifications
pop up right away and got something in the tank
already and respond lit it rip, so letter, rip letter rip.
Do these people have lives? I mean some of these
people aren't. They're not media people. I don't think they are. No,
But I did. I appreciated what you said to me
(14:50):
the other day. You said, you've you've taken your foot
off the gas and being on social media as much
as you. Oh, I have. Yeah, you know, I was
on their way too much, and I was getting really
wor up into a ladder about everything because everything is
just outrageous, and you know, everything is a disaster. And
I was like, yeah, I'm gonna take a step back.
So my new thing is I I shut shut her
(15:10):
down before I go to bed, I get up, I
don't look at the social media. It's not the first
thing I look at when I get up anymore. I
go for a walk and and then I come back.
I have you know, if I eat that day, I
don't need a couple of days a week, but I'll
have a meal. And then at that point I lock in.
I'm like, okay, I gotta get a show together, and
then I'll look at it. But I yeah, I'm not
(15:32):
obsessing with it anymore because it's just, you know, it's
it drives you to the madhouse. It does. You just
can't do it all the time. I mean, but you're
on there, You're on there a ton Still though you're
on there, a lot more than more than I am now, right,
That's what happens when you tag me and tweets and
decide to defecate on my my name and and my soul.
What are you talking about? You know last year you
(15:53):
took a picture of my car and then twitter onto
the network Twitter account, and then a few days ago
you decided to put out a poll question discusting my
performance producing your show. That's right, you were in. You
were in the big chair as a producer in for
the Koopa Loop, Who's on vacation taboo? How about Coop
going on vacation anyway? So you you came in there,
(16:16):
you sat in. That was the Wednesday and the Thursday show.
So a few days back, and uh, I was just
I was asking the people, the militia, what grade would
you give David Gascon for his performance producing our show?
And the people voted and there's still I think the
votes over now, there were hundreds of people that voted
guest on you'd be very happy with a great turn
(16:37):
out for that um and I think, if I remember correctly,
it was abject failure, I believe was the vote that
you The grade you got was abject failure with a
wink and a nod to underwhelming, useless and crumbing, but
not Joe Crumby the old talk show is from Back
on the Job Crumby, who was very good, a good
(16:57):
talk show host, Joe Crumb. He used to work at
KF I worked in New York for a long time.
I don't know where he is now, but it was good.
Well in the in the day and age with university
is getting rid of uh college ad admission exams. Yes, um,
I must say that I do pass the Ben Mallard
test in terms of the pretty well, wait, so you're
now what grade would you give a Keep in mind,
now you chose to go rogue, you chose to go
(17:21):
a wall. You decided not to screen calls for the
first two and a half hours of the show. You
then told me in talk back, Hey, Ben, we I
opened the lines. We've got some calls, and then you
gave me a bogus name, which turned out to be
Tammy in Montana, a ringer. She's in the tank for gascon.
So then we didn't take any more calls. If I
(17:43):
remember correctly, we just did the show. Fine, I have
plenty of content. I don't have to have to take
a call. That's not the point, but it's a call
in radio show. So so then the last bit we
did factor fiction and you actually screened the calls. I thought, Okay,
Gascon's coming around. He wants to do the bit. Right.
Here we go. We're in right, and you are such
a stumble bump. He's such a mama luke that you
(18:05):
couldn't figure out the phone system at Fox Sports Radio,
and you couldn't get the people on and off quick
enough so I could get to all the judge. I
didn't even get to all the judges that were on hold.
And then you started hanging up on people. And then
I read the stories and I was gonna go back
and I was gonna have them, you know, try to answer.
And you could not figure out who was on who.
(18:26):
I remember the first call, which I thought was Jack.
The judge was some guy in Iowa. That's right, Derek
and Iowa. Derek and Iowa. Yes, well that was that
was as no Stardinas said, my friend in Seattle. That
was Hindenburgh esque? Is what that one? I just love
that you go to him and he's live on radio
and he decided to take a shot, like he called
in to be a part of a segment. So I
(18:48):
thought that was great. That was funny. You could treat
it like an asshole. So he was. He was punted
down the road. Uh so it is Justin and Cincinnati.
That was great, Jack who called in. A woman by
the name of Leslie called first, Laslie, Yes, Leslie and
Jack to judge. I didn't know that, So she called
first and put him on the line. Um, we went
to him and he just took a second to respond
(19:10):
to your questions. So well, I think he took a
second because he wasn't potted up. I think he wasn't prepared.
You were not prepared to have money. So what what
letter grade ABC D F would you give yourself? I
think I'd give myself a solid B plus. I made
the plus. That's above average. Yeah, it's above average. My,
my fucking ass, that's above average. Were you kidding me?
(19:30):
I'd give myself an eight. Eight. Part of the reasons
eight that is that is an F. That is a failure.
That is a fair you fail. You you didn't do
the Basically, that's the easiest job in the world. You
sit there and it lights up like a Christmas tree.
It starts blinking. You say, hello, Fox Sports Radio, what
do you want to talk about naming city? You put
(19:53):
it in and then you just tell me the calls.
I go to the calls. It's the easiest gig in
the world. Well that's not necessarily that, just that you're like,
I'm only not only doing that one thing that the
night before I was giving you some questions for a
bit that we had mallut of the third degree. I
was telling you what I was gonna discuss on that
portion of the show. Um, we talked six hours prior
(20:14):
to the show starting about you know, the rundown, how
you want to open up the show, the other monologues. Yeah, yeah,
that was not that was not a two way conversation.
All right. You asked me what I was gonna be
talking about, which is nice. I don't normally get asked
what I'm gonna be talking about. Normally that does not
happen until like a minute before the show. But anyway,
(20:35):
so you asked me what I was interested in talking
about or whatever. So I I then told you at
that time, I think I only had three things. I
needed a fourth thing, and then the I had some
NFL stories that were interested in the interesting and then
I was gonna do an Astros monologue, but I said,
I said, I'm gonna wait on it because the series
(20:56):
isn't over yet and I want to wait. And then
and then the Dodger Padre thing happened with Machado and
bruised are grad role, so that I ran with that.
That was that was so good I would have I'm
glad I waited on that. So you gotta wait, man,
you gotta let it and let it happen, let it
breathe a little bit. Seeah, So I got you some
sound for that. No no, no, no no, no no
no no. I sent you a Ron rivera sound bite
(21:17):
and a jj watt soundbity. That's fine. Those are those
are two things that I was able to get into
the system for you in play. You are such a douche.
You are unbelievable. Man, hold on, you have you can
you can take a crap on me for for fucking
up on a phone call, which you did. Do you
know how much time I put into prep benny versus
(21:39):
the penny no acknowledgement for that? Wait wait wait wait,
So I work from wait no no wait wait from
Tuesday until just before we do the thing on Friday.
I am intolerable here trying to handicap the game. Of course.
The great thing is I should you know, I spent
all this time and I've been I've been terrible the
(22:00):
last couple of weeks, which is really unspeakable. How annoying
that is that you know you spent all this time
and you're just dreadful at picking games. It's baffling, But
that's been the way it happens sometimes. But that's a
hobby of mine. I'm not getting paid for that. You know,
we get to the Mallet Militia. You can't block the
Mallem militia from the chat room though. See that's the problem.
They're in there. Those lunatics are in there, and they're
(22:22):
those loggerheads are going nuts, and I love it. I
love the p ones, the super fans of the show
that are on Benny versus the Penny in that chat
on the YouTube, it's wonderful. Yeah, well, I build that out.
I create graphics for each game, create graphics for you
with myself. So I produced that co hosted with you
(22:43):
and monitor everything on the group chat. My my heart
bleeds for you. Guess it's my heart bleeds asking it
to bleed. I'm just saying you should acknowledge everything as
opposed to yet I'm allowing you. I'm allowing you. I'm
allowing you to sit on a gold mine here, the
Mallem Militia brand. I'm allowing you to enter the Holy
(23:03):
This is, as Mike North would say, the big leagues. Okay,
this is the big leagues. You're not in the minors anymore.
That's what Mike Mike North would say. Well, if there's
any indication of how this thing will result is that
one day you'll have me fired from the show and
I'll end up hosting a one hour show on the
Mighty to ninety. That is a low blow. You're so jealous, giscus.
(23:28):
You know you you're such a defeat. Obstacles are holding
me back. Oh my go instead of saying obstacles help me, right,
create your own reality. You don't do any of that
stuff you want to. You have such a victim mentality.
Life happens to me. Oh my god, I can't start
until you give me a favorite start before you should start,
before you're ready. It leads to success. Right, it's too hard.
(23:53):
I could do it if it were easy. Everyone would
do it. Okay, everyone would do it. I thought the
show went great. Would give you enough fodder for forty
hours and great? If you had told me, it would
have been one thing you said, Hey, Ben, I'm no
calls ton no calls. But you didn't tell me that.
You just you just left me high and dry. How
(24:16):
about a little communication, how about a little synergy, how
about a little Hey, here's what I'm thinking. I don't
know how to use the phone system and I'm lazy,
so why don't we not take any calls tonight? How
about that little cooperation, a little harmony in the community.
That's not the case, though. What do you tell your
wife what you got her for Christmas prior to her
opening up the game? Yes, because yes I do. Because
(24:36):
she normally says I want this or this, pick one.
So I'm like, okay, thank you very much. That's a
good wife. I'll get one of those two things done done.
I don't have to stress about it at all. Listen,
sometimes life gives you some surprise. But yes, you know,
I'm hardwired when I do show prep, and I'm obsessive
about show prep, and I'm because the hacks on the
way I was raising radio. You're paranoid. Well I'm para
(25:00):
know what. I don't want to be caught with my
pants down on radio. I'm not prepared and I'm well
so I always it's this tug of war with how
much prep and not enough prep, and I factor in
the I'm gonna take a certain number of calls because
I got the whack pack of Mallew militia. You guys
a call. So if you just let me know, no calls,
I'm fine with that. I don't mind that you don't
want to take calls. I'm okay with that. I can
(25:20):
adjust right and I can cris cross some things and
then I'll be okay. Well, how about this moving forward?
How about you have a little trust and a little faith.
Well I had faith in you, and it was such
a mess. I've been here for you. After I've gotten
hit by a car window blowing out major surgery. I
(25:43):
have been here for you. I've been sick on and
not only not be there, not only is my heart
bleeding for you. I am now going to the closet
to get out again. The world's smallest violent I play
that every week for you. I am just asking you
to have a little bit of faith, you know what
I have. So I'm a tourist. You know what that means.
That means you've been I'm a bull. And when you
(26:05):
mess with the bull, you get the horns. Guestout, you're
gonna learn that at some point. Okay, you mess with
the bull, you get the horns. I'm the bull. You
messed with the bull, you got the horns. So oh,
I'm such a victim. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
You're like the victim, victim, victim, You're like the You're
like the bride that's been left at the altar by
(26:26):
the groom. You've just been screwed over after a producer
after producer. Well that part is true. But that's fine,
you know So I don't I don't bring you, I
don't complain about it all the time. I don't blame
other people. I don't sit there and wallow and victim Loyd.
I'm like, all right, I've had some bad luck randomly
with people that are lazy or whatever. That's fine. I
got the text messages that say otherwise, Well, I'm just
(26:46):
I'm alerting. I'm just alerting you. Guess I'm just alerning you.
I'm alerting you to that, right. I think it makes
for a bit. You like that kind of you like
to hear about the pity train and all that. You know, No,
but I do enjoy good theater, and when things don't
go right, especially on any kind of show, it makes
for good theater. You get some people that loved it,
(27:07):
and you get some people that bitch demaned about it.
That's fine, let him walk it off. So you're your
thing in your head, your neurosis is it was so
bad it was good, that it was such a feeble
performance that it was some people like it, and so
therefore it's past. Well, you get some guys that are
just so stuck in their ways and having everything they
(27:29):
want and need as callers that they don't like being
thrown a curveball. And I threw them a curveball. They
didn't adj you know. Guess this is and we brought
this up before. I'm sure we've mentioned this in the podcast.
One of the crazy things in my head. Um, but
at least at any given time of Americans will believe
(27:49):
any fucking thing you said. Okay, it's an amazing Hand
to God, they've been studies on this. Uh, there's a
lot of craziness. You could say, the most ridiculous thing
in the world and about people. We'll believe you, right,
whatever you think is the craziest thing. Right. It's that
old old quote from from Mark Twain. It's easier to
(28:11):
fool the masses than to convince them they are being fooled,
which is which is so, And he's been dead for years,
but it's so. You would admit that your collars are
part of a cult following that they just drink whatever
cool they pour another glass. No, my collars are hard
working people. These are people that that love radio and
appreciate hard working radio, that want to be part of
(28:32):
the show, that are pulling the chain the same way
I'm pulling it. They're not pulling against me. These are
people that want to see the show do well. They
want to be a part of the show. They want
to be characters on the show. They liked that I
goof on them occasionally and there, but they liked that
they're they're part of what we do here. That there
were a dysfunctional family in the malamn Listia, We've got
to dopey oath and all that stuff, and We bust
(28:54):
each other's balls, but we love each other. And that's
that's how it works on this show. And I appreciate that.
And I think, of, no, you don't have If they
want to be a part of the show, don't call
it and be an asshole to me. How about that?
How about you are such a snow flaw. You are
such a snowflas you are such a you are such
a snowflake. Right, I think I diss itself a service
(29:15):
that night, um less, stress less, terrible. It's fine, it
was terrible. You are not part of Benny's brigade of
the Mallam militia. You are not. I think. The one
thing that's for certain is the podcasts were not messed up.
There were Crystal Claire and perfect. The audio was great.
And I don't know is that did you clean up
that first hour podcast? Did you clean that up? Because
I heard there might have been a mistake originally. Yeah? No, Wow,
(29:40):
the dedication is unbelievable. All right, we gotta we gott
a little time for pop quiz. Yes, a little time
for pop quiz here A well, do some pop quiz questions.
These are actual questions that I have found from scouring
the internet because I have no life. I have no life,
and that's how we do it. Okay, let's go here.
Seven percent of parents say their kids look up to
(30:01):
this person. Who is it? Um, the president? The president?
Are you not not this president but a president? No? No,
I guess something else. I'd say a pop singer. No.
The The answer, Gascon is their coach? Their coach. Do
(30:25):
kids actually have coaches these days? Because I thought all
sports were shut down, at least in California. I thought
they were all I'll shut down and they have guides,
and then they have their parents that start yelling at
the coaches like they're the smartest people in the room.
So that's what we got these days. It used to
be when I was younger, it would be like the clergyman, right,
the rabbi, the priest, the shaman, whoever, that would be
(30:48):
the most important person. But not now, not anymore, not anymore.
All right, Um, you have something? No, I was gonna say,
did you have like a principal or did a discipline
that was a pretty starting on or anything like that. No.
I didn't go to Religiou school. I had a teacher.
I didn't really have a teacher that I fell in
love with that I thought was like really cool until
(31:09):
I got to high school. I had a guy that
was like a speech teacher and kind of like the
bait guy. And I thought that guy was really on
the ball. He knew what he was doing and and
I wasn't doing that great in school and he was like, uh, yeah,
I don't worry about this bullshit. You know you're gonna
find in life, you know. And I was like, yeah,
that's kind of kind of you know, I just connected
with the game alright. Research suggests that women have bigger
(31:32):
ones than men. What is it? Oh boy, this is
dangerous eyes? Uh no, hangovers? Wow. That makes sense though,
because women are generally smaller than men. Although I've dated
something that we're bigger, but they're generally smaller than men.
And so isn't it a lot of that is based
on weight? Yeah, it isn't it? So that would make
(31:53):
sense right if you're someone who's weighs less than a dude. Um,
so wait a minute, So if you weigh less, the
call affects you more, right, That's usually how it works.
Am I correct on it? All? Right? When's the last
time you had a massive hangover. I haven't dranking a
long time, so I would really you gave it up
for for religious reasons or well, no, I mean I
(32:13):
was on antibiotics for a little while and COVID. Yeah,
I'm more of a social drinker. I don't drink at home,
all the bars are closed, and yeah, I can't spend
eighteen dollars for shodow whiskey. I know you are, man,
I remember we were before the Apocolypy would go out
to parties with Rob Parker's party and some other people's
(32:34):
parties there in Hollywood, living the life. Yeah, it was fun,
no more, it was good. But you would you get
around of drinks. You'd order the most expensive thing of
the bar, typical west of the four oh five guests,
if I might as well order it? Well, no, but
then we would have to buy around for you and you. Yeah,
it's like the most expensive whiskey and all this stuff,
(32:55):
and I have to That's that's the decorum. When if
somebody buys you around and drinks, you buy them around
a drink. Well, you guess how that works. You got
me frozen cold raising canes, and I got your Tomahawks steak.
How about that? Trade off. Well, you're Tomahawks steak is
the same temperature as the raising cakes. Thank you for that.
(33:21):
You're like you the assist man, right, you're the king
of the John Stockton back in the day. I'm car
I'm alone with a hammer dunk for the Utah Jazz.
Al Right, moving on here, I guess this is actually
kind of funny. Forty seven percent of men experience this daily.
What is it? Oh? This is something I associate more
(33:44):
with like junior high school or high school. Um, forty
seven percent. Wow, don't go there, Come on, don't go there?
To think of what else? Then? Um? Do you want
(34:04):
to go there and go there? No? Um? A little
self gratification there is that where you're going guests? Pretty much?
Yea uh? Seven percent of men experience oh weggy, oh
daily a date? How do you if you're having a
wedgie every day? Can't shouldn't you buy some new underwear
(34:26):
or something like that? Shouldn't you make a new investment?
You know what I'm saying. Yeah, especially depending on if
you're wearing jeans or pants or tight shorts. What the fuck? Yeah,
that's that's all right. Now. This is a this is
a weird one. And it kind of involves an advertiser
for for my show and for Fox Sports Radio. So
(34:46):
sixteen percent of people would buy a used one of these,
while many people would say this is very disgusting a bed. No, no,
I'm it's not. As long as a bed doesn't have
blood or urine or other bodily fluids on it, I
think it's okay. But you know of people would buy
(35:07):
a used electric toothbrush. That's fucking gross. Man, How disgusting
is that? How horrible is that? Unless it's the electric ones?
And then you can buy the replace unless it's a
Quip new smart electric toothbrush. That's right. And by the way,
free spot, I've got a free plug. Get quip dot
(35:27):
com slash mallet right now there. This is not a
paid commercial. I'm just I just remember I did voice
of commercial for Quip and it's a G E T
q U I P dot com slash mallet. There's bucks.
You get one of those bluetooth top of the line
like the Maserati of the the toothbrush. It's pretty good.
I would it isn't a way though you could disinfect
(35:50):
it sounds disgusting and why would you want to put
that in your mouth because somebody else had in their mouth.
But if you go to the dentist, there's stuff that
they reuse and they are able to disinfect it, So
you wouldn't. You just have to figure out how to
do that. Wait, how are you comfortable buying a used
bed because you get pists and blood and so I
don't know. I don't buy use beds. I don't, but
(36:11):
there is a market for them, right if you go
to those thrift stores while you're west of the four
or five, those of us on the east of the
four or five, they have beds in there and stuff
like that. You know, do you get the bed bugs too?
Like there's a lot of things that not every bed
has bed bugs. Yeah, I know, but you'd still have
everything else that could be on there. Oh yeah, yeah.
All right, let's do a few more of these and
(36:32):
then we'll get out of here. Why not. There's other
things to do with the Sunday podcast as well. Let's
see here, all right. I think we had this one before,
but I don't remember, so maybe you don't remember. The
thirty seven percent of people regularly do this at the
dinner table, compared to only ten twenty years ago, and
we had this a while back. But I wanna take
(36:53):
a guess. Um, I'll say, play on their cell phone. No,
it's at the dinner table. Yeah, oh it's eat on
paper plates. Oh we did have that one, you know.
I ate, Yeah, I ate on paper plates twenty years
ago because I was, you know, a single guy living
in an apartment in Hollywood, and I actually didn't eat
much on paper plates, but I was at home I eat.
(37:15):
I actually used to eat at the fast food rapper,
you know, the KFC box of the Windy's rapper, you
know whatever. I was eating the Arby's rapper. I think
you said, like when you were on the East Coast,
you just eat out the pizza boxes, right. Oh? Yeah,
I had a ninety hour I think it was a
ninety hour fast when I was in Boston and doing
some stuff at e I and I ordered a large,
large cheese steak pizza from a local pizza shop in Boston.
(37:39):
I ate the entire thing. I loved it. Oh my god.
The great thing about a sixty or seventy or eighty
hour fast as you can eat whatever you want when
you're done. It's an amazing thing, alright. Eighty eight million
Americans now own this and use it daily. What is it?
Apple Watch? It is technology, but it's not an Apple Watch.
(38:00):
You want to take another guess, Um, do do do
do do? Mayo? Do do Do Do doo? Apple earbuds?
No smart speaker. Oh, I don't do that. You do that?
You're smart? Yea? Was it Alexa or whatever? Is that
what that is? Right? Yeah? Yeah, I don't do that.
(38:23):
I'm not interested in that. I didn't change my phone
the other day though, on Sirie. I didn't realize you
can do this. I don't know if you've done it.
I changed the language though, or accent to British. She
sounds cooler when you're around women. You're like, hey, I'm educated.
I have the British accent on my phone when I
asked teas, when I asked Siri for directions, she gives
(38:44):
me navigation. And you know, the British accents, it's pretty high.
Why don't you change it up? Don't you mix it up?
So other languages other accents around the globe. Well, there's
a there's a handful of them. There's British, there's Australian.
Australians good because Australian New Zealand are pretty much the same.
And I haven't. I just did it though, so all right,
(39:04):
good for you, let's do it. I got a couple more.
A lot of us think doing this while we work
is good for us, but a new study says it
is not multitasking. Uh No, sitting on an exercise ball. Yeah,
we don't get people that do that at Fox. No. No,
they would sit on a stack of turkey sandwiches, is
(39:27):
what they would go and eat them. Whither's sitting there?
And they go lower and lower and lower and lower
and how low can I do? And then get the
leftover food into the keyboard. Yeah exactly, Yeah, the mayonnaise
and the miracle whip and all that. All right. According
to about ten percent of men, this is one of
the sexiest professions a woman can have. You're a single guy,
(39:48):
guess what this woman you're dating has this? You were
all turned on? You think this is an amazing job
for the ladies. Lawyer. No, actually, I've heard that men
don't like lawyers because they you know, they little intimidated
by that want'll be challenged. I think it's sexy. What
is it? I think it's sexy because the lawyers are
rich and you know, well not actually most lawyers are poor.
(40:09):
But it was successful female lawyer who was good at
her job. You know, one of those one of those
ambulance chasing lawyers that are on billboards all over l A. Yeah,
come on man, Yeah, uh, it's an I T job.
Oh a I T job. Yeah, there's something that I've
that I've met there. Pretty hot. Yeah, that's great. You'll
(40:31):
never be without WiFi if you date a beautiful lady
that knows about the I T. But not only that,
they're pretty wealthy to tech is tech is there can
be yeah, can be, can be. Well, at least they're
not as much in debt as opposed to lawyers that
are passing the bar graduating law school. I mean, you've
gotta be upper echelon as an attorney before you you're
(40:53):
making some serious cheese. Yeah, you gotta pay your dues.
And I mean it's the numbers are amazing. I don't
know if the numbers are the same, but as of
a couple of years ago, is about eighty thousand people
a year that take the bar. You love that stat,
I do. It's a great stat eighty thousand a year
and about seventy actually pass. That's a lot, isn't that
(41:13):
a lot? You think it'd be harder to pass, but
pass the bar, And that means every year there's sixty
thou new lawyers. I love that stat because in radio,
there's a million people who want to be in radio,
but there's not a million people that qualify to be
in radio. Every year, there's people are graduating from college
and they have to pay their dues and they want
to get a radio show, and they'll start a podcast
(41:35):
or try to find a niche somewhere and all that,
But sixty thousand lawyers. And like when you start as
a lawyer, I've had my buddy, one of my buddies
is kids a lawyer in New York. And it's like
you do all the busy body work, you do all
the bullcrap work, and you do it for years hoping
to move up and then and then when you get
(41:55):
to the top, you don't do any of that. You
just have other people that do it for you. And
it's a circle of life. But just process of getting
in alone. You know, here in California and in New York,
the bar is a multiple day exam two three days,
and you're spending at least a minimum of thousand dollars
to take the California State Bar if you do it online.
I think it's twelve. So there's a lot of money
(42:16):
that's getting dumbed just into taking the exam. You better
passed the first time. Yeah, you were thought about being
a lawyer taking the bar and be like you should
be like that guy. Uh was the guy Frank aban
Gale or whatever? Remember the catch me if you can,
guy Leonardo DiCaprio is Frank Abiccneil. Yeah, but the real
(42:38):
guy like passed the bars allegedly and wasn't actually and
he didn't even study for it. He didn't go to
school law school. Frank aban Gale, I think Agnail, Yeah,
he was a c p A. He was. He was
an attorney and it was also a doctor and a pilot.
And he's had like a thirty forty year career at
the FBI. Right, they brought him in an advisor on
(43:00):
fraud because he was so good at But it was
really easy back in those days though, with the fake
checks and all that, I mean, you could really pull
it off, and they limited police camera presents and things
like that. Oh yeah, routing the checks from the East
coast to the West coast and vice versa. Here it down, Pat, Yeah,
that was a good movie. Catch me. That's an old
movie now, but that was a good movie. Catch me
(43:21):
if you can, I like to DiCaprio on Tom Hanks.
I think it was just a good movie because it's
a good story. Yeah, great story. It's a wonderful story.
You know what. I'm pissed. One of my favorite books,
The Magic Christian. Would you would be a wonderful movie?
They made a movie like in the seventies. It's the
worst fucking movie ever and it's a great story, and
they just butchered the movie. And it pisces me off
(43:43):
because they make so much crap in Hollywood. I don't
make anything right now. But if you we did that movie,
wouldn't that be a great movie if you get the
right actors and a billionaire testing out that you know,
there's nothing so terrible and you know in a apropriate
and taboo that you wouldn't do if the money's right. Yeah, well,
(44:04):
it's a great story. It's a one I mean, I
mean it's and this was the book The Magic Christians
was about so if you had to do a movie
now about a billionaire Gates, Elon Musk, Mark Cuban Bezos,
who would you want to see a movie about. Yeah,
I think the most interesting is the Tesla guy because
(44:27):
his his you know, he's doing some crazy crap like
wiring of the brain and stuff that's just like Terminator cyborg.
You know, he's all in and it's amazing. If it works,
it's like it's one of those weird things about life,
like if it works, it's like, man, that's amazing. And
you think about people that are in wheelchairs that can't
move and if you can wire the brains a certain way,
(44:50):
you can move. And then the blind people that have
never been able to see, and they think there's a
way that you can wire the brain and these people
will be able to see. And you're like, wow, that's great.
But then you think about what the technology from from
Mr Musk there could could do the other thing. I mean,
it could go the wrong way, right. That's the problem
with technology. The nuclear technology is great unless people you
(45:14):
don't like has it, and then it's suddenly not so great.
You know, it's like one of those twos. So, yeah,
I saw that loud and proud in Social Dilemma, that
Netflix documentary that talked about the connectivity of social media
with Mark Zuckerberg and yeah, Facebook and all these social
media applications that trace you, track you, and manipulate how
(45:34):
you consume social media. Well, it's like that old idiom,
all these old idioms come true. I like these old idioms.
But one of them be careful what you wish for.
It just might get it. Yeah, be careful what you
wish for. And it sounds so great social media, but
there's a there's a dark side too. There's a CD
side to it for sure. Are we gotta get out
of here? Yes? Guess get all right? You gotta put
(45:55):
the baby to bed. I have a great Saturday. Remember
Benny versus the Petty every single NFL game against the Spread.
It's a YouTube show. Now when you're down, watch it
on YouTube. Click the thumb up. That helps us out.
Um and I know the numbers have been pretty good here.
We're getting more people every week to watch it. We're
trying to build that thing out. It's not through a
(46:15):
big corporation. It's just us doing it. We don't have
any ad budget. We have the links on the on there,
but tell people about if they're into football, I want
to hear a little gambling information on every game, marginal handicapping,
Benny versus the Penny cameo, dot com as well all
social media. And that's that. We'll put the baby to bed,
have a great day. Be sure to catch live editions
(46:35):
of The Ben Maller Show week days at two am
eastern pm Pacific
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Show week days at two a m. Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
If you thought four hours a day, minutes a week
was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants of
the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich
(00:21):
pill poppers in the penthouse. The clearing House of Hot
takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with
Ben Mallard starts right now that it does. We are
in the air everywhere, coast to coast, order to moorder beyond,
because as you know, four hours clearly not enough on
(00:44):
the overnight. We do this eight days a week, eight
days a week. The Fifth Hour with Ben Mallard made possible,
in part, at least for us by Cameo Cameo dot com.
And I've done a few of those things recently. But
by the way, it does help us out. If you
some of you guys haven't been writing reviews lately and
you want those. I don't mind doing them because some
(01:05):
people like, hey, keep it private. I don't want this
getting out there, which is fine. I'm cool with that,
but just doing a little review, do a little review.
It's it's kind of cool there. So if you want
a cameo personal video, it's not that much. Although I
was told we'll bring in David Gascon from West of
the four oh five, who ruined the show the other night.
We'll get in to that in a minute. There is
no applause today, Guscot. We don't have any applaus for you.
(01:28):
I think the crowd that normally arrives with me is
sound asleep. They've been working hard or last forty eight hours,
and so they've taken some time off. Although I have
not so interesting interesting. So we had Arnie on, Yes, dude,
I love Arnie Man. We had so many good times
back in the day. I hope people didn't hate that.
(01:49):
That was like old guy, uh, you know, glory days radio.
We were talking about the glory days. We had so
much fun. It wasn't great. I don't hate listening to
that stuff. I just, um, I don't know about you,
but like listening back to those things or listen to
you guys talk and just it kind of makes me
disappointed because you guys did what you did and you
can't do that anymore. Oh, I know, I know, and
(02:12):
it's like it happened like in front of my eyes
and I didn't quite realize it. And now it's gone.
It's gone. That time is gone. Uh you know. But hey,
the way I look at it, like even now, I
guarantee you whoever is doing radio twenty years from now
and knock on would I'll be doing it and you'll
be doing it. But you say, oh, it was better
twenty years ago, you know, because things continue to evolve
(02:33):
and change. I would love to see it go back.
I don't know the way it would go back to.
I don't know a way that he could go back
to the way it had been, you know, twenty years ago,
twenty five years ago and whatnot. But I just think
it's tough because we you discussed this when you were
working at w E. I is that you get one
person that makes the claim and starts grabbing audio from
(02:53):
whatever you said, takes offense to it, and goes up
the food chain of a program director or GM, and
then boom, you guys are five. Oh yeah, Well we
had Jerry Callahan, my Jerry Callen, my friend from Boston.
He does a podcast now, and Jerry's great, and he
was very talented at a great run as a he's
a columnist in Boston and a very successful writer at
Sports Illustrated. Had a popular show that had the number
(03:14):
one morning show in Boston, the Kirk and Callahan Show,
and it all went away because a one nut job
that had a axe to grind and didn't like them
and had a lot of money and just kept attacking
them until you know, the sponsors and things like that,
until the station decided to to go their separate ways.
(03:36):
It's a cautionary to It's very scary tale. I should
make a movie, I told Jerry when we had him on.
I believe that, not that they make many radio movies anymore,
but they should make a movie about that. That's a
horror stories. What that is. That is a horror story
and there's no other way to tell it. So anyway,
coming up on today's podcast, we have a look back,
another look back, And we didn't obviously get to this
(03:59):
on Friday because we had Arnie uh in here and
but a lot of people have been sending me messages
here and commenting about your performance on the show, and
so we're gonna get to that. And we we also
have one of my favorite bits, and why not, we
will do pop quiz, will do a few pop quiz
questions as well, and so and whatever else pops up,
(04:21):
guest and whatever else pops up. And it's the Halloween season,
it's election season. We had the vice president presidential debate
the other day. We both watched that it was taken
over by a fly, which is still amazing to me.
Of all the things that fly, which is probably dead right,
And don't the the average fly lasts like a couple
(04:41):
of days. That's it. I think the question is did
you time it? Did you clock the fly on Vice
President Mike Pence's head? Well, as soon as I noticed it,
I was in such a panic. I I was, I
was watching the baseball game on one TV and I
had the debate on the other, and so or I
had a debate on the TV, and I had the
baseball game on the computer, and so I mean, I fly,
(05:02):
you know, I tweeted you. I text you I was
like fly fly and as you said on the show,
you thought that was a baseball reference, which I get um,
and I, oh, it was amazing. It was the most
dramatic thing. I said, went it is that fly dead?
You know? Maybe the fly's dead, and you know they should,
you know, stop it and get rid of the dead fly.
And I say, because the flight doesn't usually my my
(05:23):
experience with flies is they don't normally stay in one
place very long. They're always moving, They're always flying around.
And that fly sat there and was like, I'm moving
in I'm gonna nest in the hair of the Vice
President of the United States on live national television during
a vice presidential debate, and Mike Pence. Uh, he was
(05:44):
so focused on what he was saying, um, and I
give him credit for this, he did not. He did
not acknowledge the fly. And the other thing is, you know,
from doing TV guest and there's there's monitors around there.
They know they can see if they look at the monitor,
it's hard not to notice the fly. He's got why
hair and there's a black fly landing on his head. Yeah.
I think it's safe to say, though, with where Mike
(06:05):
Pence was at and who he was with, this is
this is like Rocky going into Russia and Rocky four
against Drago, Like nobody's gonna do that guy any favors
at all. You had? Uh? Oh, yeah, Well it's codd
Rayder and then Senator Kamala Harris. Well, it's kind of
like me doing the show Benny Versus the World every night,
Benny Versus the World, just spitting facts, spit spit spit
(06:27):
spit spit spit spit spit spit backs. Do you like
Did you like Kamala Harris? Is there her gyrations, her
body language to the camera. That was a little that
kind of reminded me of of Hillary Clinton from two thousand. Yeah,
I wonder if that's gonna work like it won't. Yeah,
I tend to agree, like I obviously, I um, you know,
(06:49):
looking the other direction here, but even if you're I
don't know if anyone is actually neutral. But I don't know.
I just that kind of people like that, if that's real,
I don't think she's real. She's a politician, she's been
very success picking men to help her out, but I
I just can't imagine that that you want to be
around people like that, you know? It just it was
very annoying. But she was one of the lowest rated
(07:11):
Democratic nominees for the president. I had states who was
the guy that helped her early on her career that
she was going on with what was the guy's name
in San Francisco, Mayor right, It wasn't like Mayor Brown
or something like. Okay, Jeffrey. I read it somewhere online.
But yeah, that just the I mean, the posturing is
one thing, but you have, like you said, you have
cameras on seven so they're taking any kind of body
(07:34):
language away. And you know, Mike Pence was kind of
it was cool. I know that he interrupted her a
couple of times, and the moderator also said, like, hey,
you're constantly talking over her, you're interrupting her. We need
to give her some time. We're actually at the end
of the debate, Senator Harris had more talking time than
the Vice President Pence. I wonder how that happened. Yeah, yeah,
(07:56):
I did like that Pence at one point he you know,
all these places they don't directly answer the questions. So
you didn't answer the question. You know, she didn't answer
the question. She tap aanswer around, just smiled and winked
at the camera and moved on. Like every hack politician ever,
how they all do it. Yeah, it's a it's a
fun time, but it's extremely volatile, and I think it'll
(08:17):
probably even more volatile as the days get closer to
November the three, especially on your show, because you it
seems like you have a split squad on Uh yeah,
well it's not a political show, but yeah, I mean
Coop he doesn't get any more you know, limousine liberal
than Cooper Loope. I mean, he's the definition of that.
(08:38):
Roberto's I think that way as well. I don't know,
and Eddie's just kind of neutral. Eddie doesn't really get
into it that much. But yeah, that's fine. Listen, we'll
be on the night of the election, which I don't
know how much sports we're gonna talk about, but it
canna be a crazy night, man, It's gonna be a
crazy night election night. I just remember the mandate from
(08:59):
a few years ago that was sent out to everybody,
don't talk politics. This is a day. It was the
day after the election when things went down, and I
was just like, all right, so I wonder what host
it was. And then I found out and I'm like, yeah,
it wasn't me, gascoont it wasn't It wasn't me that
(09:20):
gotten that truck. I mean, there's a way that you
could kind of bleed it in and bleed it out
right as opposed to going to know and listen. I mean, obviously,
as a podcast, we talked about politics a little bit,
but it's just mostly a sports podcast, and I understand
people tune in to hear sports and I get that.
I I understand that to the argument, and during the
middle of the pandemic, we did show were no sports
(09:42):
going on, so we talked about a lot of different
things and people were triggered by it some people, some
people loved it and wanted us just to do that.
And it's pretty much a microcosm of society today, right,
you know, depending on your your you look for you
look for your people that are your cheerleaders too, and
you want to hear people that are on your team,
and that's what you want here, and I'm all for that.
But it's it's even more odd nowadays when we go
(10:05):
on social media and we actually have colleagues that are
rooting or tweeting or retweeting or favorite ng tweets from
individuals that support a sitting president not only getting the
coronavirus but potentially dying from it. Oh yeah, well, that
that was some of some of the some of the
news reports from the from the liberal outposts in the
(10:28):
media were hilarious, Like they were really excited. I had
friends of mine that are you know, some of my
buddies who I worked with the past, were big liberal guys,
and they were like really excited. They thought this was
gonna do in Trump. They were like convinced that this
was it. Their dreams were gonna come true. And it
was a month before the election, and oh my god,
this is the most wonderful thing. And then to see
(10:49):
their reaction when like a couple of days later, he's
back at the White House, Oh my god, it was
so upset. They was so angry, so angry that Chrump
did not end up in a un a ventilator somewhere.
I get it, as some people love him, see some
people hate him. But how fucking how morbid you gotta
be to root for a sitting president to die from
a terrible disease. Yeah, I you know, I I've said
(11:16):
many times. I obviously more in the Republican side, but
I would love to meet a president, any president. I
think it'd be cool. I respect the office of the presidency,
and this is kind of how I was raised. I
know a lot of people only respected if their teams
in the White House. But I don't. I mean, if
if Biden happens to win, and uh, you know he
wants to invite me over there, I'll hang out with him.
I'm not against that, you know, I'm I'm open to it.
(11:38):
But a lot of people I know, I don't know
you I can't hang out with. I always love when
you go to the they go to like the Nazi card, right,
that's always as I said with Coop, and Coop got
so upset with me. He got so upset with me,
guesscon when I brought this up. But it's true. It's
like goodwins law. It is accepted. When anybody brings up
(11:58):
the Hitler card, you've lost the argument, right, and and
also any trace of respect, uh, having to resort to
comparing the person you don't like to the most infamous,
mass murdering, evil dictator in the history of the modern world. Um,
you've lost. And people just continue to do it. Thought
(12:19):
that's their go to a car. And I saw an
NBC reporters to the other day that he felt safer
reporting in North Korea than he does inside the White House.
That was that was awesome. Well, that's that's the same
as like the crap Lebron James and some of these
people are saying it's just absurd, but they they have
a former saying they're saying it, so it's I think.
(12:39):
I think the best part of what that forum is
that over the last three and a half four years
now as that I have discovered and I'm sure you
have too, that I have discovered so many people on
social media that are not only c p a s,
but they're criminal investigators, their doctors of they're they're virologists,
(13:00):
like everyone is tied now to all things politics, that
they're professionals and all these different categories revolving around the
president United States. Yeah, well I would like to know
and maybe you know this, like I don't. I'm not
all that. I don't tweet a lot. I'm on Twitter
and I'll send out videos of the show and occasionally
(13:22):
I'll throw out a great one liner about the Dodgers
something like that, or the a s strows um. But
there are people I am convinced because when Trump tweets
something out and he goes on these Twitter storms, it's
like the same seven or eight people, and it doesn't
mean like Trump President Trump will tweet at random times,
and no matter when he sends the tweet out, it's
(13:45):
like the same seven or eight people that are right
there ready to throw a CounterPunch, Like what are these are?
They always just staring refresh, refresh on their phone. So
they get some kind of an alert there within a minute,
within a minute, there me needately responding to whatever he
says and whatever he says is wrong, whatever he says
is wrong. He could say I have solved hunger, I
(14:08):
have solved poverty, and you are a bomb? How dare you?
You are a liar and r rat? People deserve to
have poverty. What's wrong with you? Well, it's like the
notifications for Adam Schefter, Adrian origin Anowski. As soon as
they tweet something out and you have your notifications on
for those guys, you get them right away. And you know,
everyone's kind of lot to the hip with whatever you know,
(14:29):
Trump tweets out or Obama or Hillary and so notifications
pop up right away and got something in the tank
already and respond lit it rip, so letter, rip letter rip.
Do these people have lives? I mean some of these
people aren't. They're not media people. I don't think they are. No,
But I did. I appreciated what you said to me
(14:50):
the other day. You said, you've you've taken your foot
off the gas and being on social media as much
as you. Oh, I have. Yeah, you know, I was
on their way too much, and I was getting really
wor up into a ladder about everything because everything is
just outrageous, and you know, everything is a disaster. And
I was like, yeah, I'm gonna take a step back.
So my new thing is I I shut shut her
(15:10):
down before I go to bed, I get up, I
don't look at the social media. It's not the first
thing I look at when I get up anymore. I
go for a walk and and then I come back.
I have you know, if I eat that day, I
don't need a couple of days a week, but I'll
have a meal. And then at that point I lock in.
I'm like, okay, I gotta get a show together, and
then I'll look at it. But I yeah, I'm not
(15:32):
obsessing with it anymore because it's just, you know, it's
it drives you to the madhouse. It does. You just
can't do it all the time. I mean, but you're
on there, You're on there a ton Still though you're
on there, a lot more than more than I am now, right,
That's what happens when you tag me and tweets and
decide to defecate on my my name and and my soul.
What are you talking about? You know last year you
(15:53):
took a picture of my car and then twitter onto
the network Twitter account, and then a few days ago
you decided to put out a poll question discusting my
performance producing your show. That's right, you were in. You
were in the big chair as a producer in for
the Koopa Loop, Who's on vacation taboo? How about Coop
going on vacation anyway? So you you came in there,
(16:16):
you sat in. That was the Wednesday and the Thursday show.
So a few days back, and uh, I was just
I was asking the people, the militia, what grade would
you give David Gascon for his performance producing our show?
And the people voted and there's still I think the
votes over now, there were hundreds of people that voted
guest on you'd be very happy with a great turn
(16:37):
out for that um and I think, if I remember correctly,
it was abject failure, I believe was the vote that
you The grade you got was abject failure with a
wink and a nod to underwhelming, useless and crumbing, but
not Joe Crumby the old talk show is from Back
on the Job Crumby, who was very good, a good
(16:57):
talk show host, Joe Crumb. He used to work at
KF I worked in New York for a long time.
I don't know where he is now, but it was good.
Well in the in the day and age with university
is getting rid of uh college ad admission exams. Yes, um,
I must say that I do pass the Ben Mallard
test in terms of the pretty well, wait, so you're
now what grade would you give a Keep in mind,
now you chose to go rogue, you chose to go
(17:21):
a wall. You decided not to screen calls for the
first two and a half hours of the show. You
then told me in talk back, Hey, Ben, we I
opened the lines. We've got some calls, and then you
gave me a bogus name, which turned out to be
Tammy in Montana, a ringer. She's in the tank for gascon.
So then we didn't take any more calls. If I
(17:43):
remember correctly, we just did the show. Fine, I have
plenty of content. I don't have to have to take
a call. That's not the point, but it's a call
in radio show. So so then the last bit we
did factor fiction and you actually screened the calls. I thought, Okay,
Gascon's coming around. He wants to do the bit. Right.
Here we go. We're in right, and you are such
a stumble bump. He's such a mama luke that you
(18:05):
couldn't figure out the phone system at Fox Sports Radio,
and you couldn't get the people on and off quick
enough so I could get to all the judge. I
didn't even get to all the judges that were on hold.
And then you started hanging up on people. And then
I read the stories and I was gonna go back
and I was gonna have them, you know, try to answer.
And you could not figure out who was on who.
(18:26):
I remember the first call, which I thought was Jack.
The judge was some guy in Iowa. That's right, Derek
and Iowa. Derek and Iowa. Yes, well that was that
was as no Stardinas said, my friend in Seattle. That
was Hindenburgh esque? Is what that one? I just love
that you go to him and he's live on radio
and he decided to take a shot, like he called
in to be a part of a segment. So I
(18:48):
thought that was great. That was funny. You could treat
it like an asshole. So he was. He was punted
down the road. Uh so it is Justin and Cincinnati.
That was great, Jack who called in. A woman by
the name of Leslie called first, Laslie, Yes, Leslie and
Jack to judge. I didn't know that, So she called
first and put him on the line. Um, we went
to him and he just took a second to respond
(19:10):
to your questions. So well, I think he took a
second because he wasn't potted up. I think he wasn't prepared.
You were not prepared to have money. So what what
letter grade ABC D F would you give yourself? I
think I'd give myself a solid B plus. I made
the plus. That's above average. Yeah, it's above average. My,
my fucking ass, that's above average. Were you kidding me?
(19:30):
I'd give myself an eight. Eight. Part of the reasons
eight that is that is an F. That is a failure.
That is a fair you fail. You you didn't do
the Basically, that's the easiest job in the world. You
sit there and it lights up like a Christmas tree.
It starts blinking. You say, hello, Fox Sports Radio, what
do you want to talk about naming city? You put
(19:53):
it in and then you just tell me the calls.
I go to the calls. It's the easiest gig in
the world. Well that's not necessarily that, just that you're like,
I'm only not only doing that one thing that the
night before I was giving you some questions for a
bit that we had mallut of the third degree. I
was telling you what I was gonna discuss on that
portion of the show. Um, we talked six hours prior
(20:14):
to the show starting about you know, the rundown, how
you want to open up the show, the other monologues. Yeah, yeah,
that was not that was not a two way conversation.
All right. You asked me what I was gonna be
talking about, which is nice. I don't normally get asked
what I'm gonna be talking about. Normally that does not
happen until like a minute before the show. But anyway,
(20:35):
so you asked me what I was interested in talking
about or whatever. So I I then told you at
that time, I think I only had three things. I
needed a fourth thing, and then the I had some
NFL stories that were interested in the interesting and then
I was gonna do an Astros monologue, but I said,
I said, I'm gonna wait on it because the series
(20:56):
isn't over yet and I want to wait. And then
and then the Dodger Padre thing happened with Machado and
bruised are grad role, so that I ran with that.
That was that was so good I would have I'm
glad I waited on that. So you gotta wait, man,
you gotta let it and let it happen, let it
breathe a little bit. Seeah, So I got you some
sound for that. No no, no, no no, no no
no no. I sent you a Ron rivera sound bite
(21:17):
and a jj watt soundbity. That's fine. Those are those
are two things that I was able to get into
the system for you in play. You are such a douche.
You are unbelievable. Man, hold on, you have you can
you can take a crap on me for for fucking
up on a phone call, which you did. Do you
know how much time I put into prep benny versus
(21:39):
the penny no acknowledgement for that? Wait wait wait wait,
So I work from wait no no wait wait from
Tuesday until just before we do the thing on Friday.
I am intolerable here trying to handicap the game. Of course.
The great thing is I should you know, I spent
all this time and I've been I've been terrible the
(22:00):
last couple of weeks, which is really unspeakable. How annoying
that is that you know you spent all this time
and you're just dreadful at picking games. It's baffling, But
that's been the way it happens sometimes. But that's a
hobby of mine. I'm not getting paid for that. You know,
we get to the Mallet Militia. You can't block the
Mallem militia from the chat room though. See that's the problem.
They're in there. Those lunatics are in there, and they're
(22:22):
those loggerheads are going nuts, and I love it. I
love the p ones, the super fans of the show
that are on Benny versus the Penny in that chat
on the YouTube, it's wonderful. Yeah, well, I build that out.
I create graphics for each game, create graphics for you
with myself. So I produced that co hosted with you
(22:43):
and monitor everything on the group chat. My my heart
bleeds for you. Guess it's my heart bleeds asking it
to bleed. I'm just saying you should acknowledge everything as
opposed to yet I'm allowing you. I'm allowing you. I'm
allowing you to sit on a gold mine here, the
Mallem Militia brand. I'm allowing you to enter the Holy
(23:03):
This is, as Mike North would say, the big leagues. Okay,
this is the big leagues. You're not in the minors anymore.
That's what Mike Mike North would say. Well, if there's
any indication of how this thing will result is that
one day you'll have me fired from the show and
I'll end up hosting a one hour show on the
Mighty to ninety. That is a low blow. You're so jealous, giscus.
(23:28):
You know you you're such a defeat. Obstacles are holding
me back. Oh my go instead of saying obstacles help me, right,
create your own reality. You don't do any of that
stuff you want to. You have such a victim mentality.
Life happens to me. Oh my god, I can't start
until you give me a favorite start before you should start,
before you're ready. It leads to success. Right, it's too hard.
(23:53):
I could do it if it were easy. Everyone would
do it. Okay, everyone would do it. I thought the
show went great. Would give you enough fodder for forty
hours and great? If you had told me, it would
have been one thing you said, Hey, Ben, I'm no
calls ton no calls. But you didn't tell me that.
You just you just left me high and dry. How
(24:16):
about a little communication, how about a little synergy, how
about a little Hey, here's what I'm thinking. I don't
know how to use the phone system and I'm lazy,
so why don't we not take any calls tonight? How
about that little cooperation, a little harmony in the community.
That's not the case, though. What do you tell your
wife what you got her for Christmas prior to her
opening up the game? Yes, because yes I do. Because
(24:36):
she normally says I want this or this, pick one.
So I'm like, okay, thank you very much. That's a
good wife. I'll get one of those two things done done.
I don't have to stress about it at all. Listen,
sometimes life gives you some surprise. But yes, you know,
I'm hardwired when I do show prep, and I'm obsessive
about show prep, and I'm because the hacks on the
way I was raising radio. You're paranoid. Well I'm para
(25:00):
know what. I don't want to be caught with my
pants down on radio. I'm not prepared and I'm well
so I always it's this tug of war with how
much prep and not enough prep, and I factor in
the I'm gonna take a certain number of calls because
I got the whack pack of Mallew militia. You guys
a call. So if you just let me know, no calls,
I'm fine with that. I don't mind that you don't
want to take calls. I'm okay with that. I can
(25:20):
adjust right and I can cris cross some things and
then I'll be okay. Well, how about this moving forward?
How about you have a little trust and a little faith.
Well I had faith in you, and it was such
a mess. I've been here for you. After I've gotten
hit by a car window blowing out major surgery. I
(25:43):
have been here for you. I've been sick on and
not only not be there, not only is my heart
bleeding for you. I am now going to the closet
to get out again. The world's smallest violent I play
that every week for you. I am just asking you
to have a little bit of faith, you know what
I have. So I'm a tourist. You know what that means.
That means you've been I'm a bull. And when you
(26:05):
mess with the bull, you get the horns. Guestout, you're
gonna learn that at some point. Okay, you mess with
the bull, you get the horns. I'm the bull. You
messed with the bull, you got the horns. So oh,
I'm such a victim. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
You're like the victim, victim, victim, You're like the You're
like the bride that's been left at the altar by
(26:26):
the groom. You've just been screwed over after a producer
after producer. Well that part is true. But that's fine,
you know So I don't I don't bring you, I
don't complain about it all the time. I don't blame
other people. I don't sit there and wallow and victim Loyd.
I'm like, all right, I've had some bad luck randomly
with people that are lazy or whatever. That's fine. I
got the text messages that say otherwise, Well, I'm just
(26:46):
I'm alerting. I'm just alerting you. Guess I'm just alerning you.
I'm alerting you to that, right. I think it makes
for a bit. You like that kind of you like
to hear about the pity train and all that. You know, No,
but I do enjoy good theater, and when things don't
go right, especially on any kind of show, it makes
for good theater. You get some people that loved it,
(27:07):
and you get some people that bitch demaned about it.
That's fine, let him walk it off. So you're your
thing in your head, your neurosis is it was so
bad it was good, that it was such a feeble
performance that it was some people like it, and so
therefore it's past. Well, you get some guys that are
just so stuck in their ways and having everything they
(27:29):
want and need as callers that they don't like being
thrown a curveball. And I threw them a curveball. They
didn't adj you know. Guess this is and we brought
this up before. I'm sure we've mentioned this in the podcast.
One of the crazy things in my head. Um, but
at least at any given time of Americans will believe
(27:49):
any fucking thing you said. Okay, it's an amazing Hand
to God, they've been studies on this. Uh, there's a
lot of craziness. You could say, the most ridiculous thing
in the world and about people. We'll believe you, right,
whatever you think is the craziest thing. Right. It's that
old old quote from from Mark Twain. It's easier to
(28:11):
fool the masses than to convince them they are being fooled,
which is which is so, And he's been dead for years,
but it's so. You would admit that your collars are
part of a cult following that they just drink whatever
cool they pour another glass. No, my collars are hard
working people. These are people that that love radio and
appreciate hard working radio, that want to be part of
(28:32):
the show, that are pulling the chain the same way
I'm pulling it. They're not pulling against me. These are
people that want to see the show do well. They
want to be a part of the show. They want
to be characters on the show. They liked that I
goof on them occasionally and there, but they liked that
they're they're part of what we do here. That there
were a dysfunctional family in the malamn Listia, We've got
to dopey oath and all that stuff, and We bust
(28:54):
each other's balls, but we love each other. And that's
that's how it works on this show. And I appreciate that.
And I think, of, no, you don't have If they
want to be a part of the show, don't call
it and be an asshole to me. How about that?
How about you are such a snow flaw. You are
such a snowflas you are such a you are such
a snowflake. Right, I think I diss itself a service
(29:15):
that night, um less, stress less, terrible. It's fine, it
was terrible. You are not part of Benny's brigade of
the Mallam militia. You are not. I think. The one
thing that's for certain is the podcasts were not messed up.
There were Crystal Claire and perfect. The audio was great.
And I don't know is that did you clean up
that first hour podcast? Did you clean that up? Because
I heard there might have been a mistake originally. Yeah? No, Wow,
(29:40):
the dedication is unbelievable. All right, we gotta we gott
a little time for pop quiz. Yes, a little time
for pop quiz here A well, do some pop quiz questions.
These are actual questions that I have found from scouring
the internet because I have no life. I have no life,
and that's how we do it. Okay, let's go here.
Seven percent of parents say their kids look up to
(30:01):
this person. Who is it? Um, the president? The president?
Are you not not this president but a president? No? No,
I guess something else. I'd say a pop singer. No.
The The answer, Gascon is their coach? Their coach. Do
(30:25):
kids actually have coaches these days? Because I thought all
sports were shut down, at least in California. I thought
they were all I'll shut down and they have guides,
and then they have their parents that start yelling at
the coaches like they're the smartest people in the room.
So that's what we got these days. It used to
be when I was younger, it would be like the clergyman, right,
the rabbi, the priest, the shaman, whoever, that would be
(30:48):
the most important person. But not now, not anymore, not anymore.
All right, Um, you have something? No, I was gonna say,
did you have like a principal or did a discipline
that was a pretty starting on or anything like that. No.
I didn't go to Religiou school. I had a teacher.
I didn't really have a teacher that I fell in
love with that I thought was like really cool until
(31:09):
I got to high school. I had a guy that
was like a speech teacher and kind of like the
bait guy. And I thought that guy was really on
the ball. He knew what he was doing and and
I wasn't doing that great in school and he was like, uh, yeah,
I don't worry about this bullshit. You know you're gonna
find in life, you know. And I was like, yeah,
that's kind of kind of you know, I just connected
with the game alright. Research suggests that women have bigger
(31:32):
ones than men. What is it? Oh boy, this is
dangerous eyes? Uh no, hangovers? Wow. That makes sense though,
because women are generally smaller than men. Although I've dated
something that we're bigger, but they're generally smaller than men.
And so isn't it a lot of that is based
on weight? Yeah, it isn't it? So that would make
(31:53):
sense right if you're someone who's weighs less than a dude. Um,
so wait a minute, So if you weigh less, the
call affects you more, right, That's usually how it works.
Am I correct on it? All? Right? When's the last
time you had a massive hangover. I haven't dranking a
long time, so I would really you gave it up
for for religious reasons or well, no, I mean I
(32:13):
was on antibiotics for a little while and COVID. Yeah,
I'm more of a social drinker. I don't drink at home,
all the bars are closed, and yeah, I can't spend
eighteen dollars for shodow whiskey. I know you are, man,
I remember we were before the Apocolypy would go out
to parties with Rob Parker's party and some other people's
(32:34):
parties there in Hollywood, living the life. Yeah, it was fun,
no more, it was good. But you would you get
around of drinks. You'd order the most expensive thing of
the bar, typical west of the four oh five guests,
if I might as well order it? Well, no, but
then we would have to buy around for you and you. Yeah,
it's like the most expensive whiskey and all this stuff,
(32:55):
and I have to That's that's the decorum. When if
somebody buys you around and drinks, you buy them around
a drink. Well, you guess how that works. You got
me frozen cold raising canes, and I got your Tomahawks steak.
How about that? Trade off. Well, you're Tomahawks steak is
the same temperature as the raising cakes. Thank you for that.
(33:21):
You're like you the assist man, right, you're the king
of the John Stockton back in the day. I'm car
I'm alone with a hammer dunk for the Utah Jazz.
Al Right, moving on here, I guess this is actually
kind of funny. Forty seven percent of men experience this daily.
What is it? Oh? This is something I associate more
(33:44):
with like junior high school or high school. Um, forty
seven percent. Wow, don't go there, Come on, don't go there?
To think of what else? Then? Um? Do you want
(34:04):
to go there and go there? No? Um? A little
self gratification there is that where you're going guests? Pretty much?
Yea uh? Seven percent of men experience oh weggy, oh
daily a date? How do you if you're having a
wedgie every day? Can't shouldn't you buy some new underwear
(34:26):
or something like that? Shouldn't you make a new investment?
You know what I'm saying. Yeah, especially depending on if
you're wearing jeans or pants or tight shorts. What the fuck? Yeah,
that's that's all right. Now. This is a this is
a weird one. And it kind of involves an advertiser
for for my show and for Fox Sports Radio. So
(34:46):
sixteen percent of people would buy a used one of these,
while many people would say this is very disgusting a bed. No, no,
I'm it's not. As long as a bed doesn't have
blood or urine or other bodily fluids on it, I
think it's okay. But you know of people would buy
(35:07):
a used electric toothbrush. That's fucking gross. Man, How disgusting
is that? How horrible is that? Unless it's the electric ones?
And then you can buy the replace unless it's a
Quip new smart electric toothbrush. That's right. And by the way,
free spot, I've got a free plug. Get quip dot
(35:27):
com slash mallet right now there. This is not a
paid commercial. I'm just I just remember I did voice
of commercial for Quip and it's a G E T
q U I P dot com slash mallet. There's bucks.
You get one of those bluetooth top of the line
like the Maserati of the the toothbrush. It's pretty good.
I would it isn't a way though you could disinfect
(35:50):
it sounds disgusting and why would you want to put
that in your mouth because somebody else had in their mouth.
But if you go to the dentist, there's stuff that
they reuse and they are able to disinfect it, So
you wouldn't. You just have to figure out how to
do that. Wait, how are you comfortable buying a used
bed because you get pists and blood and so I
don't know. I don't buy use beds. I don't, but
(36:11):
there is a market for them, right if you go
to those thrift stores while you're west of the four
or five, those of us on the east of the
four or five, they have beds in there and stuff
like that. You know, do you get the bed bugs too?
Like there's a lot of things that not every bed
has bed bugs. Yeah, I know, but you'd still have
everything else that could be on there. Oh yeah, yeah.
All right, let's do a few more of these and
(36:32):
then we'll get out of here. Why not. There's other
things to do with the Sunday podcast as well. Let's
see here, all right. I think we had this one before,
but I don't remember, so maybe you don't remember. The
thirty seven percent of people regularly do this at the
dinner table, compared to only ten twenty years ago, and
we had this a while back. But I wanna take
(36:53):
a guess. Um, I'll say, play on their cell phone. No,
it's at the dinner table. Yeah, oh it's eat on
paper plates. Oh we did have that one, you know.
I ate, Yeah, I ate on paper plates twenty years
ago because I was, you know, a single guy living
in an apartment in Hollywood, and I actually didn't eat
much on paper plates, but I was at home I eat.
(37:15):
I actually used to eat at the fast food rapper,
you know, the KFC box of the Windy's rapper, you
know whatever. I was eating the Arby's rapper. I think
you said, like when you were on the East Coast,
you just eat out the pizza boxes, right. Oh? Yeah,
I had a ninety hour I think it was a
ninety hour fast when I was in Boston and doing
some stuff at e I and I ordered a large,
large cheese steak pizza from a local pizza shop in Boston.
(37:39):
I ate the entire thing. I loved it. Oh my god.
The great thing about a sixty or seventy or eighty
hour fast as you can eat whatever you want when
you're done. It's an amazing thing, alright. Eighty eight million
Americans now own this and use it daily. What is it?
Apple Watch? It is technology, but it's not an Apple Watch.
(38:00):
You want to take another guess, Um, do do do
do do? Mayo? Do do Do Do doo? Apple earbuds?
No smart speaker. Oh, I don't do that. You do that?
You're smart? Yea? Was it Alexa or whatever? Is that
what that is? Right? Yeah? Yeah, I don't do that.
(38:23):
I'm not interested in that. I didn't change my phone
the other day though, on Sirie. I didn't realize you
can do this. I don't know if you've done it.
I changed the language though, or accent to British. She
sounds cooler when you're around women. You're like, hey, I'm educated.
I have the British accent on my phone when I
asked teas, when I asked Siri for directions, she gives
(38:44):
me navigation. And you know, the British accents, it's pretty high.
Why don't you change it up? Don't you mix it up?
So other languages other accents around the globe. Well, there's
a there's a handful of them. There's British, there's Australian.
Australians good because Australian New Zealand are pretty much the same.
And I haven't. I just did it though, so all right,
(39:04):
good for you, let's do it. I got a couple more.
A lot of us think doing this while we work
is good for us, but a new study says it
is not multitasking. Uh No, sitting on an exercise ball. Yeah,
we don't get people that do that at Fox. No. No,
they would sit on a stack of turkey sandwiches, is
(39:27):
what they would go and eat them. Whither's sitting there?
And they go lower and lower and lower and lower
and how low can I do? And then get the
leftover food into the keyboard. Yeah exactly, Yeah, the mayonnaise
and the miracle whip and all that. All right. According
to about ten percent of men, this is one of
the sexiest professions a woman can have. You're a single guy,
(39:48):
guess what this woman you're dating has this? You were
all turned on? You think this is an amazing job
for the ladies. Lawyer. No, actually, I've heard that men
don't like lawyers because they you know, they little intimidated
by that want'll be challenged. I think it's sexy. What
is it? I think it's sexy because the lawyers are
rich and you know, well not actually most lawyers are poor.
(40:09):
But it was successful female lawyer who was good at
her job. You know, one of those one of those
ambulance chasing lawyers that are on billboards all over l A. Yeah,
come on man, Yeah, uh, it's an I T job.
Oh a I T job. Yeah, there's something that I've
that I've met there. Pretty hot. Yeah, that's great. You'll
(40:31):
never be without WiFi if you date a beautiful lady
that knows about the I T. But not only that,
they're pretty wealthy to tech is tech is there can
be yeah, can be, can be. Well, at least they're
not as much in debt as opposed to lawyers that
are passing the bar graduating law school. I mean, you've
gotta be upper echelon as an attorney before you you're
(40:53):
making some serious cheese. Yeah, you gotta pay your dues.
And I mean it's the numbers are amazing. I don't
know if the numbers are the same, but as of
a couple of years ago, is about eighty thousand people
a year that take the bar. You love that stat,
I do. It's a great stat eighty thousand a year
and about seventy actually pass. That's a lot, isn't that
(41:13):
a lot? You think it'd be harder to pass, but
pass the bar, And that means every year there's sixty
thou new lawyers. I love that stat because in radio,
there's a million people who want to be in radio,
but there's not a million people that qualify to be
in radio. Every year, there's people are graduating from college
and they have to pay their dues and they want
to get a radio show, and they'll start a podcast
(41:35):
or try to find a niche somewhere and all that,
But sixty thousand lawyers. And like when you start as
a lawyer, I've had my buddy, one of my buddies
is kids a lawyer in New York. And it's like
you do all the busy body work, you do all
the bullcrap work, and you do it for years hoping
to move up and then and then when you get
(41:55):
to the top, you don't do any of that. You
just have other people that do it for you. And
it's a circle of life. But just process of getting
in alone. You know, here in California and in New York,
the bar is a multiple day exam two three days,
and you're spending at least a minimum of thousand dollars
to take the California State Bar if you do it online.
I think it's twelve. So there's a lot of money
(42:16):
that's getting dumbed just into taking the exam. You better
passed the first time. Yeah, you were thought about being
a lawyer taking the bar and be like you should
be like that guy. Uh was the guy Frank aban
Gale or whatever? Remember the catch me if you can,
guy Leonardo DiCaprio is Frank Abiccneil. Yeah, but the real
(42:38):
guy like passed the bars allegedly and wasn't actually and
he didn't even study for it. He didn't go to
school law school. Frank aban Gale, I think Agnail, Yeah,
he was a c p A. He was. He was
an attorney and it was also a doctor and a pilot.
And he's had like a thirty forty year career at
the FBI. Right, they brought him in an advisor on
(43:00):
fraud because he was so good at But it was
really easy back in those days though, with the fake
checks and all that, I mean, you could really pull
it off, and they limited police camera presents and things
like that. Oh yeah, routing the checks from the East
coast to the West coast and vice versa. Here it down, Pat, Yeah,
that was a good movie. Catch me. That's an old
movie now, but that was a good movie. Catch me
(43:21):
if you can, I like to DiCaprio on Tom Hanks.
I think it was just a good movie because it's
a good story. Yeah, great story. It's a wonderful story.
You know what. I'm pissed. One of my favorite books,
The Magic Christian. Would you would be a wonderful movie?
They made a movie like in the seventies. It's the
worst fucking movie ever and it's a great story, and
they just butchered the movie. And it pisces me off
(43:43):
because they make so much crap in Hollywood. I don't
make anything right now. But if you we did that movie,
wouldn't that be a great movie if you get the
right actors and a billionaire testing out that you know,
there's nothing so terrible and you know in a apropriate
and taboo that you wouldn't do if the money's right. Yeah, well,
(44:04):
it's a great story. It's a one I mean, I
mean it's and this was the book The Magic Christians
was about so if you had to do a movie
now about a billionaire Gates, Elon Musk, Mark Cuban Bezos,
who would you want to see a movie about. Yeah,
I think the most interesting is the Tesla guy because
(44:27):
his his you know, he's doing some crazy crap like
wiring of the brain and stuff that's just like Terminator cyborg.
You know, he's all in and it's amazing. If it works,
it's like it's one of those weird things about life,
like if it works, it's like, man, that's amazing. And
you think about people that are in wheelchairs that can't
move and if you can wire the brains a certain way,
(44:50):
you can move. And then the blind people that have
never been able to see, and they think there's a
way that you can wire the brain and these people
will be able to see. And you're like, wow, that's great.
But then you think about what the technology from from
Mr Musk there could could do the other thing. I mean,
it could go the wrong way, right. That's the problem
with technology. The nuclear technology is great unless people you
(45:14):
don't like has it, and then it's suddenly not so great.
You know, it's like one of those twos. So, yeah,
I saw that loud and proud in Social Dilemma, that
Netflix documentary that talked about the connectivity of social media
with Mark Zuckerberg and yeah, Facebook and all these social
media applications that trace you, track you, and manipulate how
(45:34):
you consume social media. Well, it's like that old idiom,
all these old idioms come true. I like these old idioms.
But one of them be careful what you wish for.
It just might get it. Yeah, be careful what you
wish for. And it sounds so great social media, but
there's a there's a dark side too. There's a CD
side to it for sure. Are we gotta get out
of here? Yes? Guess get all right? You gotta put
(45:55):
the baby to bed. I have a great Saturday. Remember
Benny versus the Petty every single NFL game against the Spread.
It's a YouTube show. Now when you're down, watch it
on YouTube. Click the thumb up. That helps us out.
Um and I know the numbers have been pretty good here.
We're getting more people every week to watch it. We're
trying to build that thing out. It's not through a
(46:15):
big corporation. It's just us doing it. We don't have
any ad budget. We have the links on the on there,
but tell people about if they're into football, I want
to hear a little gambling information on every game, marginal handicapping,
Benny versus the Penny cameo, dot com as well all
social media. And that's that. We'll put the baby to bed,
have a great day. Be sure to catch live editions
(46:35):
of The Ben Maller Show week days at two am
eastern pm Pacific
Host
Ben Maller
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