July 12, 2025 • 33 mins
Ben Maller & Danny G. have a fun Saturday podcast for you! They talk: Household Clutter, Summer Special, Inferno, Benny's Box Office, Mud Pie Manifesto, & more!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Cutbooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow, it's the clearinghouse
of hot takes. Break free for something special. The Fifth
(00:23):
Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
In the air everywhere.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben Mahler and Danny g
Radio Happy Saturday to you. You can listen to this
whenever you want. Is you know, it's the magic of podcasting.
But we are united together here in the early morning
hours on this the twelfth day of July. Reunited and
it feels so good. Danny feels so good in the
(00:55):
Magic pod Box. Not to be confused with anything else.
This is the Magic pod Gut, an amazing place where
audio gold takes place. And we celebrate National Simplicity Day,
which is today National How are you celebrating National Simplicity Day.
Speaker 4 (01:15):
I'm going to celebrate by yelling simple curse words at
the Dodgers on TV today.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Perfect. There you go. Yeah, had a nice job by
the Dodgers here. I like that. They remind me of
an NBA team.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
You know, sometimes NBA teams right before the All Star break,
they'll just kind of shut it down and not give
a crap.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
That's the Dodgers.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
They're like, let's just take the week off before the
All Star break.
Speaker 4 (01:39):
I think Freddy Freeman's already in Atlanta.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Freddie Freeman and Mookie Betts the last month are both
hitting under two hundred.
Speaker 4 (01:48):
At least. Bets had a great game against the Giants
last night. We had a triple well, the second to
last time the Dodgers were up there, only trailing by one.
After it looked like it was it's going to be
a blowout, and Betts hits a triple one out. Freeman
comes up. All he's got to do is hit the
ball to the outfield and it's a tie game, and
(02:09):
he pops the damn ball up in the infield.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Unfortunately, here's my problem, Danny. First of all, I agree
with everything you said. Secondly, I can't rip Freddy Freeman
because he hit one of the great home runs in
Dodger history in the World Series in Game one. Gipson
esk and all that in game one on gibson S
but that Grand Salami in one of the World series.
Speaker 4 (02:32):
Like that, what have you done for me lately? Though,
big bet?
Speaker 3 (02:35):
I know, well, he's an older player and outside of
the steroid era.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Don't let a falling star fall on me.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
If Freddy get to that age and you start playing
the way Freddie Freeman's playing, all of a sudden, you're like,
what's going on?
Speaker 2 (02:48):
You know?
Speaker 4 (02:48):
Is he done tweak this out on the FSR account?
Ben Mallards says, trade Freddie Freeman?
Speaker 3 (02:54):
Now, no, no, I already did a monologue Danny on
trading Freddie Freeman when they went back to Atlanta the
first time and he got all emotional, remember that, because
the Braves were there, was like a guy from the
Braves I forget who maybe was in Thropolis the GM,
but somebody from the Braves let the story out that
(03:14):
they wanted Freeman back, and like his agent didn't tell him.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
You remember, I think I'm remembering that right, Well, yeah, oh.
Speaker 4 (03:21):
Yeah, I remember. There was a big mess with his
agent and the offer and all that stuff.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
So I was like when he started crying about because
he was so upset he would have rather stayed with
the Braves. I was like, oh, DoD just got to
get rid of this guy. So I already did that.
I already, I've already done the trade. Freddie Freeman mally
monologue prior.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
To him helping the team win the World Series.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
I tough love Danny, I inspired Freddie Freeman. I'm responsible
for that World Series. I am wrong.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
So it was national.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
Simplicity day to day. The tag on this is look
for the bare necessities. The simple, bare necessities. Sounds like
a Disney song to me, is what it sounds like.
There you go, there are let's see the numbers here.
There are three hundred thousand. That's the number of items
in the average American home.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Is that right? Three hundred thousand items in the average
American home? Wow?
Speaker 4 (04:15):
Damn.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
One in ten is the number of Americans who rent
off site stores.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
They have so much crap they run. I was just
gonna say, and I wonder it's such a huge pain
in the ass to move.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Twenty five percent is the percentage of people with two
car garages who don't have room to park cars inside them.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
My hand is raised on that. Yeah, I do not
to do that thirty two.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Percent percentage of people with two car garages who only
have room for one vehicle in the two car garage.
I get all kinds of numbers because it's National Simplicity
Day today. Let's hear the average number of toys for
a ten year old? How many toys is.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
A ten year old? The average ten year old America
have Diddy? What do you think? You're below ten? But
what do you think?
Speaker 5 (05:04):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (05:05):
I mean CoA a month away from his second birthday
right now, and he has two thousand, five hundred and
thirty two toys.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
Well, he's way above average. He's in the top percentile.
It's two hundred and thirty eight. Is the average number
of toys of ten year old owns two hundred thirty eight?
Speaker 4 (05:23):
That's in one toy box. He's got like five of them.
I know.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Well, he's the Golden boy.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
And if the average number of toys and average ten
year old actually plays with, so they have two hundred
thirty eight, but they the average they play with is twelve.
Speaker 4 (05:40):
That yeah, that oh yeah, that makes sense. That's why
we rotate out his toys because he'll keep going back
to the same ones even though he's got hundreds of them.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Yeah, so let's do the math on that.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
So twelve is what percent of two hundred and thirty eight?
Just some malor math on the fly.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Here on the pod, that is five percent. I'm not
a numbers guy, but that doesn't seem to add up.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
This used to be a thing, you remember it with
cable television where they say you had one hundred and
fifty channels, but you only watched twelve of them.
Speaker 4 (06:13):
Oh yeah, you want to hear a skill that CoA has.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
What's that?
Speaker 4 (06:18):
He'll be watching? Say we'll put Moana on Disney Plus,
and he will run to one of his toy boxes.
Those characters are buried underneath hundreds of other toys, and
he knows exactly where in that mess those characters are
for each movie he's watching, grabs them, runs back to
(06:39):
the TV, and holds the characters to match the movie.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
That's a boss move, man. You gotta because that's that's
the fully immersive experience, Danny, Man, you got to. You
gotta be part of the whatever you watch. That's what
you gotta do.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
The number of outfits the average American woman owns, how
about this one thirty? I bet you that's low. It
seems like that's low.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
That is low.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
That's all both our wives. I've only met your wife
a few times. You've met my wife a few times.
My wife's way over thirty. I'm sure your wife is
also way past thirty, right, way, that's sixty at sixty
at least, you know, probably higher that And the last
fun fact on this what a day, simplicity day we
(07:28):
celebrated every year unless we don't. How much money is
spent by Americans annually on non essential goods non essential goods?
That number, all right, reveal answers, reveal answers. That number
is one point two trillion per.
Speaker 4 (07:44):
One trillion of that is given to Amazon.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Yes, yeah, of course, and a lot of it this week.
But the trillion? Like, what is what is essential? You
need clothing, shelter, and food. Anything else is non essential
technically right, Like listening to a podcast is not essential?
Speaker 1 (08:04):
We think it is, but it's not. I'm trying to
pretty much everywhere.
Speaker 4 (08:08):
Wait a second, then, during COVID, why did they give
us essential worker passes? Oh?
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Yeah, that's true because of the the Marshall Act. Remember that,
the Marshall the market.
Speaker 4 (08:18):
Yeah, yeah, we control the eas alert system nationally. So
we are essential.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Very important, very important.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
So on this point we've got the Summer Special, Inferno,
Bennie's Box Office, and the mud Pie Manifesto, but we
begin with this Danny.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
So it is that time again. You look at the calendar,
you say, well, that's July. What's going on?
Speaker 3 (08:41):
No, no, no, this is when Lebron James transforms the NBA
off season into his own personal stage. It's his own
soap opera. And this was all over the place yesterday.
And now I obviously I wasn't working. I did the
overnight show, but I was off Friday night after we
did the I hope you enjoyed the pod with all
(09:01):
the audio in it from the different coaches, But so
so Friday, all day there's these Lebron stories. You know,
he's not happy. Here's why he's not happy with the Lakers.
He is clutching center stage like a Broadway diva denied
her spotlight. Right the it's the Summer Special, the Summer
(09:23):
of Lebron, and it is classic, like Captain Ego himself
making it all about him. This is the attention, horror
of attention. Hoos, the spotlight, the spotlight, addict Danny is
at it again.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Now you're a Laker guy, this is your team.
Speaker 4 (09:39):
He's not long in the Purple nguld Ben, and I'm
looking forward to this because whichever team he graces next
is going to be the team you rant on endlessly.
And I can't wait to pass the baton to a
different NBA organization.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
Well, we'll see what happens. But using useful idiots in
the the meaning. When I see these stories, and there
were a bunch of them yesterday, I try to figure out.
It's fun game.
Speaker 4 (10:05):
I like to play.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
Where did the story originate? Did it come from the Lakers,
did it come from Lebron? Did it come from a
third party. And it's pretty easy once you kind of
get the lay of the land to figure out which
stories are being planted by Lebron, which stories are being
planted by the Lakers. And it's a pretty fun game
to play. But Lebron's always doing the passive aggressive thing.
(10:27):
He's got his buddies in the media. Rich Paul is
the guy that's kind.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Of the middleman on that, and it's like Lebron's doing
this one man Shakespearean tragedy to leave the Lakers or
not to leave the Lakers. That is the question. The
drama begins, but it is.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
It's wild, and the chronicles will continue at least for
another couple months.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
It seems that he's always unhappy because no matter what
a front office does, they're not doing enough to put
other stars in play around him to help him win.
But then when he gets a true big time star
like Luca, then that takes away from him being the
top dog, and he doesn't like that either.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
So you're saying, Lebron, you're damned if you do, you're
damned if you don't. Exactly, this one seems to be, Hey,
I was the hot girl at the at the bar.
I got all the attention, and now there's another woman
that's shown up and the guys are giving her all
the attention.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Lebron didn't like it.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
Bach This is an afternoon drive djay who was getting
all the remote set of radio station doing all the
live broadcasts, and the morning show was kind of lame.
And then suddenly management brings in a big shot morning
stud and that guy starts getting all the live broadcasts
and takes all the attention away, and the afternoon dude
(11:53):
is like, hey, wait, what about me, HOOMI, what about me?
Speaker 1 (11:58):
What about me?
Speaker 4 (12:00):
No, I'm not speaking from experience. That never happened to me.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
No, that would never. That does not happen in radio.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
You know everyone they just worry about their real estate, right,
They don't worry about anyone real estate. That's the way
that it works. So we turned the page on that.
Now yesterday, oh, yesterday, really quick, yesterday. I need to
address this.
Speaker 4 (12:25):
Okay. You told a great story about how Denny Green,
the late great Denny Green, gave you his business card yep,
and offered you three NFL tickets and you never took
them up on it.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
I didn't.
Speaker 4 (12:38):
I did not know, yrk face, you should have got
tickets the next few years on the Viking State anywhere
near southern California.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
I know, I screwed up. I didn't. I was like,
I don't want to.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
And I still when my dad passed away a few
years ago, I was going through, you know, everything I
had as a kid. It was just still nice and
I was going through all my stuff and I found
Dennis Green's card that he gave me from that night
or that afternoon at the college radio station, and it
was pretty cool to look at it like, oh that
(13:11):
was a great man.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
You messed that one up. When a dude like that
makes that sort of offer, you take him up on it.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Yeah, it was pretty cool. He was such a nice guy.
It was really just a really loved music. It's really
like you see that.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
A lot in sports dandy Like they look, that's their job,
but they talk about other things like music or something else,
and they're like, that's really where their passion is.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
It's interesting.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
So the Benny box officely so, I was inspired because
my time was requested by my wife to go see
this f one movie which is out now.
Speaker 4 (13:46):
Apple was Yeah, with Brad Pitt, did you guys do
the full on experience at Imax?
Speaker 1 (13:53):
We didn't do Imax, but we we went to My
wife loves going to the.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
Movie theaters that have the lazy boy chairs, like the
really you know expensive oh yeah, And I'm like, I
don't need this and she's like, no, no, it's a show.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
You know you're going too a show. And I'm like, well,
I mean I.
Speaker 4 (14:12):
Used to go to order from your chair at this theater.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Oh yeah, yeah, that was a whole that was a
hole to do.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
And she she's like, no, this is the experience, and
I'm like, my memories, Danny.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
I don't know about you. You're around my age when
we would go to the movies. The movies. The theaters
were not bad. They were nice and cool, but there
was bubble gum all over the place, you know, there
was They were not like they are now the movie theaters. No.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
So we were at the movies and we saw F one.
My wife wanted to see it. Of all, I have
a shock because she's not really into sports, but she's like,
I want to check it out. So I was, all right, well,
I'll go. And then this thing was two hours and
thirty minutes, Danny.
Speaker 4 (14:52):
It went on forever.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
Ninety minutes.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
Shows and movies should be ninety like a Broadway show,
a Vegas show ninety minutes. That's like forty minutes intermission
and then like another whatever's left and then and that's it.
So but everyone out there went to the bougie theater.
The movie was well done. Uh it's just crazy to
me watching this how popular F one is in the
rest of the world and nobody in America gives a
(15:18):
shit about F one racing. It's it's like soccer, you know,
it's it's like I think soccer or football. This is
the rest of the world calls it. That is more
popular than America than F one racing. But I've been
to a few NASCAR races in my radio past.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Booging and bugging and beg and I'd never been to.
Speaker 3 (15:38):
An F one race. I really never wanted to go.
I know they have them in Vegas. You know, they
the Eurocentric cocktail of you know, rich people, champagne, massive egos,
all that. And so this movie, the the theory behind
it is rather simple.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
I was doing a little digging on this, and again,
the movie is fine. It was good. It was kind
of predictable.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
But the over garks in charge of F one, it's
one of the real embarrassments for F one racing that
they have not been able.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
To make a dent in America. They just nobody cares here.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
So the theory is they decided, the oil barons and
the people that have put all the money in F one,
they decided, Hey, the key to get into the hearts, minds,
and souls of the American audience is the chisel jawline
of Brad Pitt. That the that is the key, Danny,
that Brad Pitt can unlock this whole world in America
(16:40):
and not a pit stop, just a pit just Brad Pitt,
you know, no pole position, all that stuff. And so
it's all part of a marketing campaign by F one
to try to seduce the US customer. And it makes
a lot of sense, like these are some big time
Hollywood people involved in this movie, and if it does well,
(17:02):
and I don't know the box office numbers, but if
this thing does well, and if only let's say five
percent of those people that went and saw this movie,
they're like, well, maybe I'll check out n F one
race now and I'll see what's going on. Well, you've
increased your audience by a possibly five percent.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
You know, historically no one cares that.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
You know, there was there's a decent amount of drama
and all that stuff, and Brad Pitt's got the Gravi
toss and all that stuff.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
So it was a little I said, it was predictable.
It was kind of calculated.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
Some of it seemed a little forced, and I would
love to have been a fly in the room when
some some marketing weasels said, you know, here's what we
can do to grow the audience. You just put a
big movie star in there like brad Pitt, and these
Americans they love movie stars, and that's all.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
You have to do, and then boom, you know, wam bam,
thank you mam. Everyone's gonna come out.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
It'll be great, It'll be absolutely Now the real test,
the real test is are we going to get to
the point where a caller like Dave from Sheboygan calls
in to sports radio says, Hey, I want to talk
F one. You think that Ferrari can get it done
(18:15):
this weekend in Monaco, you know, and it's like that, Yeah,
good luck.
Speaker 4 (18:21):
There's a headline right here that says the f Ones
movie may be helping apple Stock?
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Oh is that right? Is that right?
Speaker 4 (18:29):
That's interesting? Yeah. And by the way, it has grossed
two hundred and ninety three million dollars as of this
Saturday morning.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
Is now is it number one or is in the
top It's got.
Speaker 4 (18:40):
To be one. I think Superman's probably are yeah, yeah, yeah, sure,
Superman's a bigger deal in F one there, But they're
trying to hold boggle an audience.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
I hey, I respect the hustle.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
Now that being said, Danny g seeing brad Pitt's character
find I'm not going to give the movie away, but
I think you kind of know what most sports movies
end with.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
Let's just say Brad Pitt's character found glory at.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
The end, right, you know what I'm saying. So this,
oh yeah, this sparked my creative juices. I activated the
Mather think tank. I think there's money to be made here, Danny,
the movie we should make and just hear me out
on this. And I was watching the movie and I
kind of paused my popcorn stuffed mouth.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
I stopped chewing, and I said, I got it. I
had an epiphany.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
You know what would be a nice refreshing change in Hollywood.
Here's my idea. They make my elevator pitch here. Okay,
I'm gonna run this by Danny. You're the big mogul
at the studio.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Okay, you're in charge of a major motion picture company
in Hollywood, and I run in you.
Speaker 4 (19:40):
That means my wife is blonde, and she's twenty four.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
And she never goes to twenty five. She always stays
twenty four.
Speaker 4 (19:48):
So she has two big flotation devices.
Speaker 3 (19:52):
So here's my pitch. I and we're on the first floor.
We're gonna go all the way to the floor sixty.
It's a slow moving.
Speaker 4 (19:58):
Elevator like the he is getting my Lamborghini right now, that's.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Right, here's my pitch.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
Danny So a movie where the athlete gives it their all,
they bust their ass and at the end of the
movie they lose spectacularly and they have to end up
working the overnight shift at a taco bell in Van Eyes.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
And that is a genuine story. It's about perseverance without payoff, right.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Not everyone has to end up.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
Hosting, you know, hoisting up a trophy and kissing the
hot cheerleader at the end of the movie and all
that stuff. Somebody has to end up scrubbing a deep
friar at two in the morning in Van Eyes.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
And they've got a you know, a limp and uh,
you know.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
Broken dreams and their life sucks and all that stuff
that is cinematic gold waiting to be made. Imagine this
and we can even you know, we can do woke.
Well like we'll we'll change up to get how about
we'll put a female lead stars swim her live stream
is a little girl to make the Olympics.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
She missed.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
This is the cut to get to the Olympics by
two milliseconds, not two seconds.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
Two milliseconds, right.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
Then you go to this montage not of her training,
not trying to get redemption, no, no, no, but of
her learning to find pride in managing that taco bell
and van eyes and mentoring like these teenage kids who
hate her and would rather be on TikTok.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
And you'll think she's some boomer lady with a headset.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
And all right, and and that's that is it right there?
And she's got some douchebag manager named Carl who's.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
Kind of met her up and all that stuff.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
And the final scene of the movie poetic right instead
of magic touchdown game winner. No, no, no, this is
a real story, and you know this woman she puts
the cheesy Gordita crunch in there, and then she she
gives a whimsical quote fade to black.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
What say you, Danny? Do we make that movie? Wow?
Speaker 4 (22:01):
I feel like I feel depressed now. Actually no, Yeah,
it's because it's too relatable for most of us. Ben Like,
you can't get lost in a story like that. It's
too much like our real day to day lives.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Yeah, I know, I just think it would be kind
of cool.
Speaker 4 (22:21):
To be like, if you know, if she killed Carl
right right before the fade to black, then you have
a movie. Then you then I'm gonna green light it.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
Yeah, well then and the woman's the way women kill
people is with poison, right, So she'd have to poison
Carl with thea taco bell food and that's that would
create an inferno, Danny, and then that could be that
could be like a spin off movie of the original movie. Right.
Speaker 4 (22:51):
It's funny because the first time I ever experienced this
at the studios in Sherman Oaks, California, it was when
I was doing the overnight show with you two to
three am on the West coast and you know on
the East coast that's drive time.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (23:06):
I don't know if you remember this, but when right
as our show was ending, you were about to sign
off and the fire alarm system went off in our building.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
You killed it.
Speaker 4 (23:16):
I do remember that, yes, yeah. And it's like crazy
flashing lights. It's like something from a sci fi movie.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
They want you out of the building, Like, what are
we supposed to do? Though we got to be in
the building, but everyone's got to leave the building.
Speaker 4 (23:32):
We stayed, and I mean they probably have this thing installed.
Back when Denny's was there, and you know, there was
like a fire in the kitchen, grease fire, and we
were right in the middle of that grease fire. We
didn't even move. We could have lost our lives. It's
worth it to run a national radio network.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
What we're doing, we're doing God's work. It's very horrolical.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
Well, yeah, and I'm sure they would have compensated our
families very nicely. Absolutely, yes, they don't with a nice speech.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
They don't compensate us standing, but our families they'll take care.
Speaker 4 (24:01):
They'll take care of the well, they would have at
least given our family some pizza and a nice speak.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
An expensive Mulberry Street place.
Speaker 4 (24:12):
That's yes, I remember that happening. Then now flash forward
to last week and we're in the afternoon drive time
slot with Covino and Rich right before the show starts
at two pm on the West Coast, Big Mic who
comes walking, not even walking, he comes limping down the hallway, lumbering, lumbering, lumbering.
(24:38):
Great word for Big Mic, who doesn't run anything.
Speaker 5 (24:41):
No, he says, guys, just want to give you a
heads up. There's going to be a fire drill with
the system. They promise us it's just going to be
a few minutes, and there should have been in the audio.
Speaker 4 (24:56):
It should just be the strobing lights. Okay, yeah, no big.
So we go in Ben the guys open up the
show and they start to jump into the first topic. Bam,
the sirens go off and the loud siren the oh yeah, yeah,
(25:19):
it's on in the hallway, it's on in their main studio.
It's on in my production studio right across the glass
from them. It's on in the producer studio, it's on
in dan Byer's update studio. So with our mics on,
the guys are like really concerned. They didn't know what
to do because now Dan Byer's like doing all this
(25:41):
crazy hand signals because he was worried about it sounding
like an eas alert alert, which we talked about at
the start of this podcast.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Yeah, you're not. You can't do that. You get in
a lot of trouble with you.
Speaker 4 (25:54):
You get in a lot of trouble if you are
a radio station and they're sounds of an alert.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
Yeah, you could get a big fine. Well, and our
problem is that's per station.
Speaker 3 (26:04):
So depending on how many affiliates you have you can
do the math on that.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
That's you're fired?
Speaker 4 (26:09):
Is what that?
Speaker 1 (26:09):
Somebody's fired that?
Speaker 4 (26:11):
Yeah, we had to think quick. I grabbed an interview
that they had done and I broke into what they
were doing, which wasn't hard because they were kind of
figuring out on the spot what to do. And I said, hey, guys,
you know you referenced this interview you just did a
couple of days ago. Here's what they were talking about.
(26:31):
And so I go to tape. They come in and
they're like, oh, thanks, we weren't sure what to do there.
And Buyer comes running in. He's like, yeah, we can't
have that alarm sound coming through the speakers. This clip
right here is going to play for a few more minutes.
I'm sure this is going to be over. How long
do you think the damn alarms were going off?
Speaker 1 (26:53):
Well, it's during the day. At night, they would seem
to go on for five to ten minutes. It seemed
like a fair amount of time, and it seemed like
it was a decent amount of time.
Speaker 4 (27:04):
This alarm system went off for twenty two minutes.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Twenty two minutes, jeez see.
Speaker 4 (27:11):
We could even get out of the first segment they
had to beaz what was coming up with the sirens
blasting behind them. It was a shit show. And later
in the hour they were able to laugh and I think,
you know, after the fact, it was kind of funny,
but during the moment it was deer in headlights, like
they had no idea what to do with that siren
(27:33):
sound blasting behind them.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
Well, it's good to know that.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
I'm sure you let engineering make them aware of that
to make sure that doesn't go off in the studio.
Speaker 4 (27:43):
Funny you mentioned that because came wandering over about twenty
minutes later and pops his head into talk to Iowa Sam,
and Iowa Sam says, oh, you're here to talk about
the alarm system, and he's like, what do you mean.
Oh boy on twenty minutes and he's like, oh, it
was he had no idea, didn't even know it happened.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
Well, I'm sure they'll address that.
Speaker 3 (28:08):
They'll have seventeen meetings and email chains and text chains
and then they'll get to the bottom of that.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
Yeah. Ive, Well, just another day in radio, Just another
day in radio. So the.
Speaker 3 (28:20):
Last part of this year went out to dinner on
Friday night. Danty last night went to a deli now
normally I don't talk about going out to day.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
I usually cook.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
We don't go out that much anymore because restaurants are
ridiculously expensive. But met the in laws. My father in
law lives part of the year in North Carolina and
part of the year in California, so he was happened
to be in town. And it was a seemingly innocent event, right,
and setting was just your basic deli.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
But it's one of those places. It's kind of a dark.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
Red booze laminated menus from like the Clinton administration type place,
the old deli type thing. And the servers kind of
they work at their own pace, you know, they don't
necessarily they.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
Don't go into a hurry. They're just gonna la la.
Speaker 3 (29:10):
So the meal was delicious, had some pastrami, sandwich is
very good. Father in law gave a soliloquy while we
were at the table, and it was it was good.
And so the story, though, is about a mud pie.
So this was supposed to be just a mud pie,
but it turned into a culinary catastrophe. So that the deli,
(29:32):
I guess we can call it the deli where time
stood still. So I hurried up to get to this.
We went earlier than we were planning because I was like,
I got to get back and do some stuff.
Speaker 1 (29:43):
So we had the meal, the food came. Take a
little while for the food to come out.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
Now the restaurant was busy, but it wasn't completely the capacity,
and the mother in law was like, hey, I would
like I would like the mud pie. Now I don't
normally order dessert. I feel like the food's so expensive,
why do I order there? But the mother in law
was like, I want mudpie and I want.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
To split it with a table. So I said, okay,
I'll have some mud pie. So we ordered it.
Speaker 3 (30:10):
And then it is the deli where time stood still,
the dessert delivery system. They delivered that mud pie with
the urgency of Congress trying to pass legislation.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
You know, it's just like.
Speaker 3 (30:24):
It took Danny hand to God from the time we
finished the meal and ordered the mud pie to the
time the mud pie got to the table thirty seven minutes.
Thirty seven minutes. Now, to put that into context, how
long that is. You could fly from Los Angeles to
(30:44):
Las Vegas in about thirty seven minutes, right, you could?
You could watch about half a baseball game. If the
teams are hustling trying to get the game over with.
Speaker 4 (30:55):
You guys could have ordered a pizza from your cell
phone and the pizza would arrive before the dessert.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
In fact, if we had ordered the mud pie You're right, Danny,
from door Dash or from Uber Eats from Femi there
in Minnesota, we would have gotten it Femi and Minnesota
would have delivered it to La faster than this deli
we were at. By the time the mud pie arrived,
our lives had changed. We had all aged, we had
(31:22):
all grown. The server arrived with the dessert, and I'm
not sure what they did. Maybe they hand churned the
ice cream in the back, they molded the fudge by candlelight.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
I mean they waited for the planets to line up
to drizzle the chocolate sauce on top.
Speaker 4 (31:40):
It was.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
It was insane. Thirty seven minutes.
Speaker 3 (31:45):
When you wait thirty seven minutes to eat mud pie,
you get that pie and you do this full you
put on the microscope like why did it take so long? Right,
there's a forensic analysis of the pie. It's insane. So
I guess the moral.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Of the stories.
Speaker 3 (32:02):
Do not order dessert at at a Delhi or at
least this Delhi. We tempted fate.
Speaker 4 (32:07):
We all want to know, like, was it worth the wait?
Was it good?
Speaker 1 (32:10):
Nothing is worth thirty seven minutes away?
Speaker 3 (32:12):
You know, the most important thing, Danny, we have in
our life is our time to say, someday I'll be
on my deathbed if I'm lucky enough, and I'll think,
you know, if I only had another thirty seven minutes,
where did I spend that thirty seven minutes sitting waiting
for mud Pie at a deli on a Friday night?
Speaker 1 (32:30):
Holy crap? Anyway, that's I just wanted to complain about that.
Speaker 3 (32:33):
I mean, my god, that mud pie had enough time
that you could have invented the mud pie. The Mudpie
was born, colonized, the liberated other you know, all of
mud pie Land.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
You know it was. It was insane.
Speaker 3 (32:47):
All right, we'll get out on that, Danny. We got
mail bag tomorrow and enjoy your Saturday. I don't know
what you're up to today, but we'll chat.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
Get the questions and answers on the mail bag. That'll
be tomorrow. Very exciting. I'm looking forward to that and
we'll we'll.
Speaker 4 (33:00):
Catch you then see you for the mailbag tomorrow Asta pasta.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
I thought you said later, skater.
Speaker 4 (33:06):
That's tomorrow. I'll say that tomorrow. I rotate them, Okay,
like how you rotate nuts, I rotate nuts.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
How dare you bafulation
Cutbooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow, it's the clearinghouse
of hot takes. Break free for something special. The Fifth
(00:23):
Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
In the air everywhere.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben Mahler and Danny g
Radio Happy Saturday to you. You can listen to this
whenever you want. Is you know, it's the magic of podcasting.
But we are united together here in the early morning
hours on this the twelfth day of July. Reunited and
it feels so good. Danny feels so good in the
(00:55):
Magic pod Box. Not to be confused with anything else.
This is the Magic pod Gut, an amazing place where
audio gold takes place. And we celebrate National Simplicity Day,
which is today National How are you celebrating National Simplicity Day.
Speaker 4 (01:15):
I'm going to celebrate by yelling simple curse words at
the Dodgers on TV today.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Perfect. There you go. Yeah, had a nice job by
the Dodgers here. I like that. They remind me of
an NBA team.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
You know, sometimes NBA teams right before the All Star break,
they'll just kind of shut it down and not give
a crap.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
That's the Dodgers.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
They're like, let's just take the week off before the
All Star break.
Speaker 4 (01:39):
I think Freddy Freeman's already in Atlanta.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Freddie Freeman and Mookie Betts the last month are both
hitting under two hundred.
Speaker 4 (01:48):
At least. Bets had a great game against the Giants
last night. We had a triple well, the second to
last time the Dodgers were up there, only trailing by one.
After it looked like it was it's going to be
a blowout, and Betts hits a triple one out. Freeman
comes up. All he's got to do is hit the
ball to the outfield and it's a tie game, and
(02:09):
he pops the damn ball up in the infield.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Unfortunately, here's my problem, Danny. First of all, I agree
with everything you said. Secondly, I can't rip Freddy Freeman
because he hit one of the great home runs in
Dodger history in the World Series in Game one. Gipson
esk and all that in game one on gibson S
but that Grand Salami in one of the World series.
Speaker 4 (02:32):
Like that, what have you done for me lately? Though,
big bet?
Speaker 3 (02:35):
I know, well, he's an older player and outside of
the steroid era.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Don't let a falling star fall on me.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
If Freddy get to that age and you start playing
the way Freddie Freeman's playing, all of a sudden, you're like,
what's going on?
Speaker 2 (02:48):
You know?
Speaker 4 (02:48):
Is he done tweak this out on the FSR account?
Ben Mallards says, trade Freddie Freeman?
Speaker 3 (02:54):
Now, no, no, I already did a monologue Danny on
trading Freddie Freeman when they went back to Atlanta the
first time and he got all emotional, remember that, because
the Braves were there, was like a guy from the
Braves I forget who maybe was in Thropolis the GM,
but somebody from the Braves let the story out that
(03:14):
they wanted Freeman back, and like his agent didn't tell him.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
You remember, I think I'm remembering that right, Well, yeah, oh.
Speaker 4 (03:21):
Yeah, I remember. There was a big mess with his
agent and the offer and all that stuff.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
So I was like when he started crying about because
he was so upset he would have rather stayed with
the Braves. I was like, oh, DoD just got to
get rid of this guy. So I already did that.
I already, I've already done the trade. Freddie Freeman mally
monologue prior.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
To him helping the team win the World Series.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
I tough love Danny, I inspired Freddie Freeman. I'm responsible
for that World Series. I am wrong.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
So it was national.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
Simplicity day to day. The tag on this is look
for the bare necessities. The simple, bare necessities. Sounds like
a Disney song to me, is what it sounds like.
There you go, there are let's see the numbers here.
There are three hundred thousand. That's the number of items
in the average American home.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Is that right? Three hundred thousand items in the average
American home? Wow?
Speaker 4 (04:15):
Damn.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
One in ten is the number of Americans who rent
off site stores.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
They have so much crap they run. I was just
gonna say, and I wonder it's such a huge pain
in the ass to move.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Twenty five percent is the percentage of people with two
car garages who don't have room to park cars inside them.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
My hand is raised on that. Yeah, I do not
to do that thirty two.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Percent percentage of people with two car garages who only
have room for one vehicle in the two car garage.
I get all kinds of numbers because it's National Simplicity
Day today. Let's hear the average number of toys for
a ten year old? How many toys is.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
A ten year old? The average ten year old America
have Diddy? What do you think? You're below ten? But
what do you think?
Speaker 5 (05:04):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (05:05):
I mean CoA a month away from his second birthday
right now, and he has two thousand, five hundred and
thirty two toys.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
Well, he's way above average. He's in the top percentile.
It's two hundred and thirty eight. Is the average number
of toys of ten year old owns two hundred thirty eight?
Speaker 4 (05:23):
That's in one toy box. He's got like five of them.
I know.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Well, he's the Golden boy.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
And if the average number of toys and average ten
year old actually plays with, so they have two hundred
thirty eight, but they the average they play with is twelve.
Speaker 4 (05:40):
That yeah, that oh yeah, that makes sense. That's why
we rotate out his toys because he'll keep going back
to the same ones even though he's got hundreds of them.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Yeah, so let's do the math on that.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
So twelve is what percent of two hundred and thirty eight?
Just some malor math on the fly.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Here on the pod, that is five percent. I'm not
a numbers guy, but that doesn't seem to add up.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
This used to be a thing, you remember it with
cable television where they say you had one hundred and
fifty channels, but you only watched twelve of them.
Speaker 4 (06:13):
Oh yeah, you want to hear a skill that CoA has.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
What's that?
Speaker 4 (06:18):
He'll be watching? Say we'll put Moana on Disney Plus,
and he will run to one of his toy boxes.
Those characters are buried underneath hundreds of other toys, and
he knows exactly where in that mess those characters are
for each movie he's watching, grabs them, runs back to
(06:39):
the TV, and holds the characters to match the movie.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
That's a boss move, man. You gotta because that's that's
the fully immersive experience, Danny, Man, you got to. You
gotta be part of the whatever you watch. That's what
you gotta do.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
The number of outfits the average American woman owns, how
about this one thirty? I bet you that's low. It
seems like that's low.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
That is low.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
That's all both our wives. I've only met your wife
a few times. You've met my wife a few times.
My wife's way over thirty. I'm sure your wife is
also way past thirty, right, way, that's sixty at sixty
at least, you know, probably higher that And the last
fun fact on this what a day, simplicity day we
(07:28):
celebrated every year unless we don't. How much money is
spent by Americans annually on non essential goods non essential goods?
That number, all right, reveal answers, reveal answers. That number
is one point two trillion per.
Speaker 4 (07:44):
One trillion of that is given to Amazon.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Yes, yeah, of course, and a lot of it this week.
But the trillion? Like, what is what is essential? You
need clothing, shelter, and food. Anything else is non essential
technically right, Like listening to a podcast is not essential?
Speaker 1 (08:04):
We think it is, but it's not. I'm trying to
pretty much everywhere.
Speaker 4 (08:08):
Wait a second, then, during COVID, why did they give
us essential worker passes? Oh?
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Yeah, that's true because of the the Marshall Act. Remember that,
the Marshall the market.
Speaker 4 (08:18):
Yeah, yeah, we control the eas alert system nationally. So
we are essential.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Very important, very important.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
So on this point we've got the Summer Special, Inferno,
Bennie's Box Office, and the mud Pie Manifesto, but we
begin with this Danny.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
So it is that time again. You look at the calendar,
you say, well, that's July. What's going on?
Speaker 3 (08:41):
No, no, no, this is when Lebron James transforms the NBA
off season into his own personal stage. It's his own
soap opera. And this was all over the place yesterday.
And now I obviously I wasn't working. I did the
overnight show, but I was off Friday night after we
did the I hope you enjoyed the pod with all
(09:01):
the audio in it from the different coaches, But so
so Friday, all day there's these Lebron stories. You know,
he's not happy. Here's why he's not happy with the Lakers.
He is clutching center stage like a Broadway diva denied
her spotlight. Right the it's the Summer Special, the Summer
(09:23):
of Lebron, and it is classic, like Captain Ego himself
making it all about him. This is the attention, horror
of attention. Hoos, the spotlight, the spotlight, addict Danny is
at it again.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Now you're a Laker guy, this is your team.
Speaker 4 (09:39):
He's not long in the Purple nguld Ben, and I'm
looking forward to this because whichever team he graces next
is going to be the team you rant on endlessly.
And I can't wait to pass the baton to a
different NBA organization.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
Well, we'll see what happens. But using useful idiots in
the the meaning. When I see these stories, and there
were a bunch of them yesterday, I try to figure out.
It's fun game.
Speaker 4 (10:05):
I like to play.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
Where did the story originate? Did it come from the Lakers,
did it come from Lebron? Did it come from a
third party. And it's pretty easy once you kind of
get the lay of the land to figure out which
stories are being planted by Lebron, which stories are being
planted by the Lakers. And it's a pretty fun game
to play. But Lebron's always doing the passive aggressive thing.
(10:27):
He's got his buddies in the media. Rich Paul is
the guy that's kind.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Of the middleman on that, and it's like Lebron's doing
this one man Shakespearean tragedy to leave the Lakers or
not to leave the Lakers. That is the question. The
drama begins, but it is.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
It's wild, and the chronicles will continue at least for
another couple months.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
It seems that he's always unhappy because no matter what
a front office does, they're not doing enough to put
other stars in play around him to help him win.
But then when he gets a true big time star
like Luca, then that takes away from him being the
top dog, and he doesn't like that either.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
So you're saying, Lebron, you're damned if you do, you're
damned if you don't. Exactly, this one seems to be, Hey,
I was the hot girl at the at the bar.
I got all the attention, and now there's another woman
that's shown up and the guys are giving her all
the attention.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Lebron didn't like it.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
Bach This is an afternoon drive djay who was getting
all the remote set of radio station doing all the
live broadcasts, and the morning show was kind of lame.
And then suddenly management brings in a big shot morning
stud and that guy starts getting all the live broadcasts
and takes all the attention away, and the afternoon dude
(11:53):
is like, hey, wait, what about me, HOOMI, what about me?
Speaker 1 (11:58):
What about me?
Speaker 4 (12:00):
No, I'm not speaking from experience. That never happened to me.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
No, that would never. That does not happen in radio.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
You know everyone they just worry about their real estate, right,
They don't worry about anyone real estate. That's the way
that it works. So we turned the page on that.
Now yesterday, oh, yesterday, really quick, yesterday. I need to
address this.
Speaker 4 (12:25):
Okay. You told a great story about how Denny Green,
the late great Denny Green, gave you his business card yep,
and offered you three NFL tickets and you never took
them up on it.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
I didn't.
Speaker 4 (12:38):
I did not know, yrk face, you should have got
tickets the next few years on the Viking State anywhere
near southern California.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
I know, I screwed up. I didn't. I was like,
I don't want to.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
And I still when my dad passed away a few
years ago, I was going through, you know, everything I
had as a kid. It was just still nice and
I was going through all my stuff and I found
Dennis Green's card that he gave me from that night
or that afternoon at the college radio station, and it
was pretty cool to look at it like, oh that
(13:11):
was a great man.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
You messed that one up. When a dude like that
makes that sort of offer, you take him up on it.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Yeah, it was pretty cool. He was such a nice guy.
It was really just a really loved music. It's really
like you see that.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
A lot in sports dandy Like they look, that's their job,
but they talk about other things like music or something else,
and they're like, that's really where their passion is.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
It's interesting.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
So the Benny box officely so, I was inspired because
my time was requested by my wife to go see
this f one movie which is out now.
Speaker 4 (13:46):
Apple was Yeah, with Brad Pitt, did you guys do
the full on experience at Imax?
Speaker 1 (13:53):
We didn't do Imax, but we we went to My
wife loves going to the.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
Movie theaters that have the lazy boy chairs, like the
really you know expensive oh yeah, And I'm like, I
don't need this and she's like, no, no, it's a show.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
You know you're going too a show. And I'm like, well,
I mean I.
Speaker 4 (14:12):
Used to go to order from your chair at this theater.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Oh yeah, yeah, that was a whole that was a
hole to do.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
And she she's like, no, this is the experience, and
I'm like, my memories, Danny.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
I don't know about you. You're around my age when
we would go to the movies. The movies. The theaters
were not bad. They were nice and cool, but there
was bubble gum all over the place, you know, there
was They were not like they are now the movie theaters. No.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
So we were at the movies and we saw F one.
My wife wanted to see it. Of all, I have
a shock because she's not really into sports, but she's like,
I want to check it out. So I was, all right, well,
I'll go. And then this thing was two hours and
thirty minutes, Danny.
Speaker 4 (14:52):
It went on forever.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
Ninety minutes.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
Shows and movies should be ninety like a Broadway show,
a Vegas show ninety minutes. That's like forty minutes intermission
and then like another whatever's left and then and that's it.
So but everyone out there went to the bougie theater.
The movie was well done. Uh it's just crazy to
me watching this how popular F one is in the
rest of the world and nobody in America gives a
(15:18):
shit about F one racing. It's it's like soccer, you know,
it's it's like I think soccer or football. This is
the rest of the world calls it. That is more
popular than America than F one racing. But I've been
to a few NASCAR races in my radio past.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Booging and bugging and beg and I'd never been to.
Speaker 3 (15:38):
An F one race. I really never wanted to go.
I know they have them in Vegas. You know, they
the Eurocentric cocktail of you know, rich people, champagne, massive egos,
all that. And so this movie, the the theory behind
it is rather simple.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
I was doing a little digging on this, and again,
the movie is fine. It was good. It was kind
of predictable.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
But the over garks in charge of F one, it's
one of the real embarrassments for F one racing that
they have not been able.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
To make a dent in America. They just nobody cares here.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
So the theory is they decided, the oil barons and
the people that have put all the money in F one,
they decided, Hey, the key to get into the hearts, minds,
and souls of the American audience is the chisel jawline
of Brad Pitt. That the that is the key, Danny,
that Brad Pitt can unlock this whole world in America
(16:40):
and not a pit stop, just a pit just Brad Pitt,
you know, no pole position, all that stuff. And so
it's all part of a marketing campaign by F one
to try to seduce the US customer. And it makes
a lot of sense, like these are some big time
Hollywood people involved in this movie, and if it does well,
(17:02):
and I don't know the box office numbers, but if
this thing does well, and if only let's say five
percent of those people that went and saw this movie,
they're like, well, maybe I'll check out n F one
race now and I'll see what's going on. Well, you've
increased your audience by a possibly five percent.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
You know, historically no one cares that.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
You know, there was there's a decent amount of drama
and all that stuff, and Brad Pitt's got the Gravi
toss and all that stuff.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
So it was a little I said, it was predictable.
It was kind of calculated.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
Some of it seemed a little forced, and I would
love to have been a fly in the room when
some some marketing weasels said, you know, here's what we
can do to grow the audience. You just put a
big movie star in there like brad Pitt, and these
Americans they love movie stars, and that's all.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
You have to do, and then boom, you know, wam bam,
thank you mam. Everyone's gonna come out.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
It'll be great, It'll be absolutely Now the real test,
the real test is are we going to get to
the point where a caller like Dave from Sheboygan calls
in to sports radio says, Hey, I want to talk
F one. You think that Ferrari can get it done
(18:15):
this weekend in Monaco, you know, and it's like that, Yeah,
good luck.
Speaker 4 (18:21):
There's a headline right here that says the f Ones
movie may be helping apple Stock?
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Oh is that right? Is that right?
Speaker 4 (18:29):
That's interesting? Yeah. And by the way, it has grossed
two hundred and ninety three million dollars as of this
Saturday morning.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
Is now is it number one or is in the
top It's got.
Speaker 4 (18:40):
To be one. I think Superman's probably are yeah, yeah, yeah, sure,
Superman's a bigger deal in F one there, But they're
trying to hold boggle an audience.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
I hey, I respect the hustle.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
Now that being said, Danny g seeing brad Pitt's character
find I'm not going to give the movie away, but
I think you kind of know what most sports movies
end with.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
Let's just say Brad Pitt's character found glory at.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
The end, right, you know what I'm saying. So this,
oh yeah, this sparked my creative juices. I activated the
Mather think tank. I think there's money to be made here, Danny,
the movie we should make and just hear me out
on this. And I was watching the movie and I
kind of paused my popcorn stuffed mouth.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
I stopped chewing, and I said, I got it. I
had an epiphany.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
You know what would be a nice refreshing change in Hollywood.
Here's my idea. They make my elevator pitch here. Okay,
I'm gonna run this by Danny. You're the big mogul
at the studio.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Okay, you're in charge of a major motion picture company
in Hollywood, and I run in you.
Speaker 4 (19:40):
That means my wife is blonde, and she's twenty four.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
And she never goes to twenty five. She always stays
twenty four.
Speaker 4 (19:48):
So she has two big flotation devices.
Speaker 3 (19:52):
So here's my pitch. I and we're on the first floor.
We're gonna go all the way to the floor sixty.
It's a slow moving.
Speaker 4 (19:58):
Elevator like the he is getting my Lamborghini right now, that's.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Right, here's my pitch.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
Danny So a movie where the athlete gives it their all,
they bust their ass and at the end of the
movie they lose spectacularly and they have to end up
working the overnight shift at a taco bell in Van Eyes.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
And that is a genuine story. It's about perseverance without payoff, right.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Not everyone has to end up.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
Hosting, you know, hoisting up a trophy and kissing the
hot cheerleader at the end of the movie and all
that stuff. Somebody has to end up scrubbing a deep
friar at two in the morning in Van Eyes.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
And they've got a you know, a limp and uh,
you know.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
Broken dreams and their life sucks and all that stuff
that is cinematic gold waiting to be made. Imagine this
and we can even you know, we can do woke.
Well like we'll we'll change up to get how about
we'll put a female lead stars swim her live stream
is a little girl to make the Olympics.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
She missed.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
This is the cut to get to the Olympics by
two milliseconds, not two seconds.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
Two milliseconds, right.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
Then you go to this montage not of her training,
not trying to get redemption, no, no, no, but of
her learning to find pride in managing that taco bell
and van eyes and mentoring like these teenage kids who
hate her and would rather be on TikTok.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
And you'll think she's some boomer lady with a headset.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
And all right, and and that's that is it right there?
And she's got some douchebag manager named Carl who's.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
Kind of met her up and all that stuff.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
And the final scene of the movie poetic right instead
of magic touchdown game winner. No, no, no, this is
a real story, and you know this woman she puts
the cheesy Gordita crunch in there, and then she she
gives a whimsical quote fade to black.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
What say you, Danny? Do we make that movie? Wow?
Speaker 4 (22:01):
I feel like I feel depressed now. Actually no, Yeah,
it's because it's too relatable for most of us. Ben Like,
you can't get lost in a story like that. It's
too much like our real day to day lives.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Yeah, I know, I just think it would be kind
of cool.
Speaker 4 (22:21):
To be like, if you know, if she killed Carl
right right before the fade to black, then you have
a movie. Then you then I'm gonna green light it.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
Yeah, well then and the woman's the way women kill
people is with poison, right, So she'd have to poison
Carl with thea taco bell food and that's that would
create an inferno, Danny, and then that could be that
could be like a spin off movie of the original movie. Right.
Speaker 4 (22:51):
It's funny because the first time I ever experienced this
at the studios in Sherman Oaks, California, it was when
I was doing the overnight show with you two to
three am on the West coast and you know on
the East coast that's drive time.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (23:06):
I don't know if you remember this, but when right
as our show was ending, you were about to sign
off and the fire alarm system went off in our building.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
You killed it.
Speaker 4 (23:16):
I do remember that, yes, yeah. And it's like crazy
flashing lights. It's like something from a sci fi movie.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
They want you out of the building, Like, what are
we supposed to do? Though we got to be in
the building, but everyone's got to leave the building.
Speaker 4 (23:32):
We stayed, and I mean they probably have this thing installed.
Back when Denny's was there, and you know, there was
like a fire in the kitchen, grease fire, and we
were right in the middle of that grease fire. We
didn't even move. We could have lost our lives. It's
worth it to run a national radio network.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
What we're doing, we're doing God's work. It's very horrolical.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
Well, yeah, and I'm sure they would have compensated our
families very nicely. Absolutely, yes, they don't with a nice speech.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
They don't compensate us standing, but our families they'll take care.
Speaker 4 (24:01):
They'll take care of the well, they would have at
least given our family some pizza and a nice speak.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
An expensive Mulberry Street place.
Speaker 4 (24:12):
That's yes, I remember that happening. Then now flash forward
to last week and we're in the afternoon drive time
slot with Covino and Rich right before the show starts
at two pm on the West Coast, Big Mic who
comes walking, not even walking, he comes limping down the hallway, lumbering, lumbering, lumbering.
(24:38):
Great word for Big Mic, who doesn't run anything.
Speaker 5 (24:41):
No, he says, guys, just want to give you a
heads up. There's going to be a fire drill with
the system. They promise us it's just going to be
a few minutes, and there should have been in the audio.
Speaker 4 (24:56):
It should just be the strobing lights. Okay, yeah, no big.
So we go in Ben the guys open up the
show and they start to jump into the first topic. Bam,
the sirens go off and the loud siren the oh yeah, yeah,
(25:19):
it's on in the hallway, it's on in their main studio.
It's on in my production studio right across the glass
from them. It's on in the producer studio, it's on
in dan Byer's update studio. So with our mics on,
the guys are like really concerned. They didn't know what
to do because now Dan Byer's like doing all this
(25:41):
crazy hand signals because he was worried about it sounding
like an eas alert alert, which we talked about at
the start of this podcast.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Yeah, you're not. You can't do that. You get in
a lot of trouble with you.
Speaker 4 (25:54):
You get in a lot of trouble if you are
a radio station and they're sounds of an alert.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
Yeah, you could get a big fine. Well, and our
problem is that's per station.
Speaker 3 (26:04):
So depending on how many affiliates you have you can
do the math on that.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
That's you're fired?
Speaker 4 (26:09):
Is what that?
Speaker 1 (26:09):
Somebody's fired that?
Speaker 4 (26:11):
Yeah, we had to think quick. I grabbed an interview
that they had done and I broke into what they
were doing, which wasn't hard because they were kind of
figuring out on the spot what to do. And I said, hey, guys,
you know you referenced this interview you just did a
couple of days ago. Here's what they were talking about.
(26:31):
And so I go to tape. They come in and
they're like, oh, thanks, we weren't sure what to do there.
And Buyer comes running in. He's like, yeah, we can't
have that alarm sound coming through the speakers. This clip
right here is going to play for a few more minutes.
I'm sure this is going to be over. How long
do you think the damn alarms were going off?
Speaker 1 (26:53):
Well, it's during the day. At night, they would seem
to go on for five to ten minutes. It seemed
like a fair amount of time, and it seemed like
it was a decent amount of time.
Speaker 4 (27:04):
This alarm system went off for twenty two minutes.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Twenty two minutes, jeez see.
Speaker 4 (27:11):
We could even get out of the first segment they
had to beaz what was coming up with the sirens
blasting behind them. It was a shit show. And later
in the hour they were able to laugh and I think,
you know, after the fact, it was kind of funny,
but during the moment it was deer in headlights, like
they had no idea what to do with that siren
(27:33):
sound blasting behind them.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
Well, it's good to know that.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
I'm sure you let engineering make them aware of that
to make sure that doesn't go off in the studio.
Speaker 4 (27:43):
Funny you mentioned that because came wandering over about twenty
minutes later and pops his head into talk to Iowa Sam,
and Iowa Sam says, oh, you're here to talk about
the alarm system, and he's like, what do you mean.
Oh boy on twenty minutes and he's like, oh, it
was he had no idea, didn't even know it happened.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
Well, I'm sure they'll address that.
Speaker 3 (28:08):
They'll have seventeen meetings and email chains and text chains
and then they'll get to the bottom of that.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
Yeah. Ive, Well, just another day in radio, Just another
day in radio. So the.
Speaker 3 (28:20):
Last part of this year went out to dinner on
Friday night. Danty last night went to a deli now
normally I don't talk about going out to day.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
I usually cook.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
We don't go out that much anymore because restaurants are
ridiculously expensive. But met the in laws. My father in
law lives part of the year in North Carolina and
part of the year in California, so he was happened
to be in town. And it was a seemingly innocent event, right,
and setting was just your basic deli.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
But it's one of those places. It's kind of a dark.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
Red booze laminated menus from like the Clinton administration type place,
the old deli type thing. And the servers kind of
they work at their own pace, you know, they don't
necessarily they.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
Don't go into a hurry. They're just gonna la la.
Speaker 3 (29:10):
So the meal was delicious, had some pastrami, sandwich is
very good. Father in law gave a soliloquy while we
were at the table, and it was it was good.
And so the story, though, is about a mud pie.
So this was supposed to be just a mud pie,
but it turned into a culinary catastrophe. So that the deli,
(29:32):
I guess we can call it the deli where time
stood still. So I hurried up to get to this.
We went earlier than we were planning because I was like,
I got to get back and do some stuff.
Speaker 1 (29:43):
So we had the meal, the food came. Take a
little while for the food to come out.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
Now the restaurant was busy, but it wasn't completely the capacity,
and the mother in law was like, hey, I would
like I would like the mud pie. Now I don't
normally order dessert. I feel like the food's so expensive,
why do I order there? But the mother in law
was like, I want mudpie and I want.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
To split it with a table. So I said, okay,
I'll have some mud pie. So we ordered it.
Speaker 3 (30:10):
And then it is the deli where time stood still,
the dessert delivery system. They delivered that mud pie with
the urgency of Congress trying to pass legislation.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
You know, it's just like.
Speaker 3 (30:24):
It took Danny hand to God from the time we
finished the meal and ordered the mud pie to the
time the mud pie got to the table thirty seven minutes.
Thirty seven minutes. Now, to put that into context, how
long that is. You could fly from Los Angeles to
(30:44):
Las Vegas in about thirty seven minutes, right, you could?
You could watch about half a baseball game. If the
teams are hustling trying to get the game over with.
Speaker 4 (30:55):
You guys could have ordered a pizza from your cell
phone and the pizza would arrive before the dessert.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
In fact, if we had ordered the mud pie You're right, Danny,
from door Dash or from Uber Eats from Femi there
in Minnesota, we would have gotten it Femi and Minnesota
would have delivered it to La faster than this deli
we were at. By the time the mud pie arrived,
our lives had changed. We had all aged, we had
(31:22):
all grown. The server arrived with the dessert, and I'm
not sure what they did. Maybe they hand churned the
ice cream in the back, they molded the fudge by candlelight.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
I mean they waited for the planets to line up
to drizzle the chocolate sauce on top.
Speaker 4 (31:40):
It was.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
It was insane. Thirty seven minutes.
Speaker 3 (31:45):
When you wait thirty seven minutes to eat mud pie,
you get that pie and you do this full you
put on the microscope like why did it take so long? Right,
there's a forensic analysis of the pie. It's insane. So
I guess the moral.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Of the stories.
Speaker 3 (32:02):
Do not order dessert at at a Delhi or at
least this Delhi. We tempted fate.
Speaker 4 (32:07):
We all want to know, like, was it worth the wait?
Was it good?
Speaker 1 (32:10):
Nothing is worth thirty seven minutes away?
Speaker 3 (32:12):
You know, the most important thing, Danny, we have in
our life is our time to say, someday I'll be
on my deathbed if I'm lucky enough, and I'll think,
you know, if I only had another thirty seven minutes,
where did I spend that thirty seven minutes sitting waiting
for mud Pie at a deli on a Friday night?
Speaker 1 (32:30):
Holy crap? Anyway, that's I just wanted to complain about that.
Speaker 3 (32:33):
I mean, my god, that mud pie had enough time
that you could have invented the mud pie. The Mudpie
was born, colonized, the liberated other you know, all of
mud pie Land.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
You know it was. It was insane.
Speaker 3 (32:47):
All right, we'll get out on that, Danny. We got
mail bag tomorrow and enjoy your Saturday. I don't know
what you're up to today, but we'll chat.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
Get the questions and answers on the mail bag. That'll
be tomorrow. Very exciting. I'm looking forward to that and
we'll we'll.
Speaker 4 (33:00):
Catch you then see you for the mailbag tomorrow Asta pasta.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
I thought you said later, skater.
Speaker 4 (33:06):
That's tomorrow. I'll say that tomorrow. I rotate them, Okay,
like how you rotate nuts, I rotate nuts.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
How dare you bafulation
Host
Ben Maller
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