August 16, 2025 • 30 mins
Ben Maller & Danny G, Radio have a fun Saturday podcast for you! They talk: Rollercoaster Day, Give Me Liberty and Give Me Chicken, Golf Sh*t, & more!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kutbooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to a clearinghouse
of hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth
(00:23):
Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
In the air everywhere. The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben
Mahler and Danny G Radio A Happy Saturday to you.
It is the what are we looking at? The sixteenth
day today? The sixteenth day of August, and we were
just a few weeks away from the start of the
real NFL season. And no, I am not partaking in
(00:50):
these exhibition games this weekend. I'm not. But that being said,
it is national Danny G is National roller Coaster Day today.
Are you a roller coaster guy? We we've had this
conversation before. I feel like we've talked about this on.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
That Yeah, yeah, yeah, we talked about this just a
couple of weekends ago. I love that one roller coaster
in San Diego.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Okay, all right, yeah, you mentioned SeaWorld rights turned into
a roller coaster place, now, right, that's yeah.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
They had people picketing outside their park.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
I don't know what was that. Ten fifteen years ago.
People were up in arms when that documentary came out. Remember, yeah,
Shamou and the others being bent up and mistreated, and
lots of questions about that. And so a couple of
changes SeaWorld made was they were only going to rehabilitate
(01:40):
sea creatures and not you know, just keep them captive
for people's entertainment. Only because of that, they had to
shift gears and go in a different direction. And so
they started adding roller coasters and rides to their park.
And man, they got a couple of really good roller
coasters there.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
That's cool. That's cool. I went to SeaWorld a couple
times when I was a kid. There were two things
I remember about my trips to sea World. One, my
dear old mom was hit in the head with bird
crap A bird crapped on my mom's head. She was
very upset by that. Next thing, I know, I just
saw this white thing flying at my face. It ruined
(02:18):
the whole day. And then I also remember seeing Shamoo,
the famous Shamoo who's right up there with Elvis and
some of the all time legends, and then getting a
little shamoo stuffy. When I was a kid, I remember
that at the world that was a big thing for
good stuffy, right, yeah, yeah, I think I don't know
who knows? I did learn because it's National roller Coaster
(02:39):
Day and I have to provide a fun fact for
alf and ferg Dog and those guys. Do you know
the first roll the first country to have a roller coaster?
Speaker 4 (02:49):
What do you think it was?
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Danny? The first country that, according to documentation, to have
a roller coaster? What do you they do? Do do?
Speaker 3 (03:00):
It's a strange question I ever thought about anything. Yeah, exactly,
It's an odd question.
Speaker 4 (03:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
I thought I'm going to thought it was America. I
thought America.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
So my guess was I'm going to say, I'm going
to say the UK?
Speaker 1 (03:11):
The UK? All right? That makes sense a lot of
things in the UK, right, Yeah, US built by people
that left the UK and wanted less taxes, so now
we have all the taxes. No. According to the documented history,
the first roller coaster appeared in the fifteen hundreds in Russia. Russia. Russia.
(03:33):
Russian roller coasters were made of wood with icy rams
on which.
Speaker 4 (03:38):
People can have fun for three minutes.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
I get some ghoula, And so that was in the
fifteen hundreds, but it was like a couple hundred years
later the history. How about, how about you were a
historian of the roller coaster? How do you end up
in that gig Anyway, In the seventeen hundreds in Russia,
the early roller coasters were such a hit that wheels
(04:02):
were then added to the carts so people could continue
to ride during the summer, because they only had them
during the winter, because it was like a winter thing.
It was kind of like what we'd call sledding, but
they called it a roller coaster, and so they put
wheels on them in the seventeen hundreds so people could
ride even during the summer months, that one month of
the year where the weather's pretty good. But the real
(04:22):
golden age of the coaster, the golden age of the
coaster was the early nineteen hundreds, and really like the
nineteen teens, the Great Depression in America and Coney Island
in Brooklyn, there were innovations and all kinds of things.
So I mean, there's a bunch of coasters all over
(04:43):
the place now, but so there you go Russia, Mother
Russia and the fifteen hundreds, and then the Great Depression
led to amazing, amazing fun.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
I think you mentioned in the past that you don't
fit on a lot of the roller coasters, But have
you ever been to Mountain in Valencia, California.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
I have not. I have not spent time at matt
I've driven by it a bunch. I've not gone because,
as you said, I don't fit. I don't even fit
on Space Mountain. I can't imagine going on those. You're
going north on the five. You go buy Magic Mountain,
and these things are insane. It's like there are mountains
of roller coaster but I've never never gone because I
figured if I can't fit on Space Mountain at Disneyland,
(05:25):
I'm not going to un stuff at Magic Mountain.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
I don't know if it's still open. It might it
might be closed unless they renovated it. But it was
an old wooden roller coaster. I'm going to have to
look that up. But it's a big white wooden structure.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Racist it looks.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Awesome and you hear people screaming on it. Then you
go on it and you realize everyone's screaming because their
back is hurting. It's sticky, and yeah, because it's a
wood roller coaster. Oh my god, that thing shakes you
from side to side. And when you get off, there's
a chiropractor's office representative standing outside handing out business cards.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
And is that where they came up with the billboard?
Who hurt You?
Speaker 4 (06:08):
Is that?
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Is that right there? Right there? Who hurt you? When
you're leaving Magic Mountain? So on this podcast we have
give me liberty and give me chicken fingers some golf shit?
Speaker 4 (06:21):
Are you allowed to say that? Oh?
Speaker 1 (06:23):
I did? I just it's a podcast, Yes, I get yes,
all right, So I'll begin with it. So, my my son, Patrick,
who was if you followed along on this podcast, is
now officially a United States Marine, graduated from boot camp
not that long ago in San Diego. And he walked
across the deck there the famous military based Marine training
(06:47):
center there in San Diego. Now that was you know,
that was big. That was a big deal, right, It
was you know, lump in the throats type stuff, and
you know, big day in someone's life. And then you know,
he graduate from marine boot camp. And so this past weekend,
and I had mentioned this to you Danny in passing,
But this past weekend it was something a little different.
(07:07):
He's currently at Infantry School, and so he's at Camp Pendleton, which,
if you're not familiar, is this massive stretch of military land.
If you're not from southern California, if you drive between
La and San Diego, there's about seemingly twenty miles which
is just a military base, and you know, you drive
(07:28):
through and you're like, wow, yeah, yeah, you see the
shooting ranges and all the practice, yeah buildings, it looks
pretty cool. And it's like every time I've driven by there,
and I used to work in San Diego, so I
drove by there quite a bit and you're like, what
are they actually doing there? It turns out they do
a lot. They do a lot. Now I've been told
(07:49):
I can't get into too many specifics, of course, because
I don't want to knock on the door Danny from
someone like they'd be worried about what I say on
this stupid podcast. I don't want to be accused of
harboring you know something. But I can tell you stuff
that is readily available. For example, I can tell you
that Camp Pendleton is ginormous Danny. In fact, I was
(08:13):
driving around it. I'll explain why in a second. But
two hundred square miles. It's estimated there are five hundred
miles of roads on Camp Pendleton. You could hide, yes,
you could hide, no idea. I didn't either. I had
no idea. I just saw the stretch between La and
San Diego, like through things, so you could you literally
(08:34):
almost put Rhode Island in there and have room for Delaware.
It's that big.
Speaker 4 (08:38):
That must be so cool to see that from the
from the air.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Uh yeah, yeah, So I've I've driven past it. Shot
down but they kill you. So I've driven past it
hundreds of times literally over the years. We've all done it, Danny,
you going to San Diego with the family and whatnot,
and we've made that drive. Uh. And so you know
back then when I was missing, I never once stopped in.
I wasn't invited Dan, he didn't invite me to Camp Pendleton.
(09:02):
I never had a reason to go to Camp Pendleton.
And so this past weekend, like the kid Patrick, he
got on Base Liberty. Now, I had no fn idea.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
What that meant.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
I was like, he sent us a text here, I
got some Liberty. This weekend, but I can only it's
on Base Liberty. I said, what the F is that?
So for the uninitiated, like I was that man, I
know a lot of you guys have been in the military,
have got family and military, but this is all new
to me. So it means that he's free to hang out.
He's not. He doesn't have any work stuff. He can
(09:33):
hang out with visitors, provided he doesn't actually leave the base.
He's not allowed to leave the base, which is telling
a kid, you can eat as much ice cream as
you want, but only in the freezer aisle at the
grocery store in Aisle five. You can't go on Aisle six.
You can't go on Aisle you know. You can't go
on Aisle four. You got to stay on all five.
So we drove down into Ocean Side or ocean side
adjacent there, and you've you've been there. That's Junior se
(09:57):
I was old town right ocean side back in the day,
and just a little outpost. It's in between Orange County
and San Diego. It's a little a little south of
the San Diego Orange County line.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
It's a bit stop for us because traffic usually it's
all clogged up right there. So you pull off in
ocean side to have a little lunch and wait it out.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Yeah. Yeah, it smells like salt water. There's lots of sunscreen,
people in good looking people in bikinis, fish tacos, you know,
the whole thing. And I did not know this, but
amazing Chicken figures more on that in a minute. So
getting onto the base, it felt like I was entering
a different country, like a small sovereign country. And it
(10:42):
was very clean, very organized. There were housing tracks and
things like that, and I was like, wow, this is crazy, man,
and I didn't know where the hell was going. The
most amazing thing is at the gate, you know, there's
this military police guy and he looks at your driver's
license and kind of gives you the run around and stuff.
And then you're on the base and they don't tell you, hey,
you can't go here, you can't go there, you can
(11:03):
only stay here. So we were just like free rein.
I was like, holy crap. And then they've got an MCX,
which is the Marine Corps Exchange thing and Patrick, my kid, says,
he says, hey, he said, hey, this is the size
of Walmart. And he wasn't wrong, and these things are
all over. They had the big one on Camp Pendleton's
(11:23):
like literally the size of going into a Costco or
a Walmart.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
And oh, forget Kirkland Brand exactly. Maybe we're gonna start
shopping there.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Well there's one problem, Danny, there's one problem. So I
went in there and I'm like, all right, I'm gonna
you know, they had all the military uniforms and all
that stuff. This is where the soldiers by their crap,
and they they had the regular stuff. They had electronics,
they had regular clothing cities as they call them, and
all the kinds of house stuff and it was just
a regular massive store the MCX and I realized I
(11:54):
wanted to get something, but they didn't want to get
an air fryer. I already have that. I didn't, you know.
They weren't getting too big, and I was like, well,
maybe I'll get some clothing. And then I realized that
there's really only one thing that I could get, and
so I bought a pair of socks because that's the
only thing they sold that fit my body type. It
(12:17):
turns out, Danny, I don't have a marine body. I'm
not military grade. Apparently, I'm not built like Rambo. I'm
built like Rambo's you know, gas bag uncle or something
like that.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
Who sits So you can't get on roller coasters and
you can't shop at the exchange there.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Yeah, in my head, I was. I walked in. My
eyes were huge. I was say, Oh, this is gonna
be great, dude. I'm gonna get so much cool stuff.
You know, it's all tax free because it's on a
military base and all this. No, I got socks. They're
nice green military socks, and I assume they'll last for
a while. So anyway, but they also Danny, they have
a raising canes on bass.
Speaker 4 (12:56):
Now.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
I mentioned this because Patrick suggests. He said, hey, you
know we were there. He had liberty, so he come down.
We'll have lunch. He didn't say where we're gonna have lunch,
and then he said he suggested that we eat there,
and I did not protest. Now, we both share a
neutral love of raising canes, and I had taken him
there pretty much every week for chunks of his child
like we would. I would drag his ass to canes
(13:21):
and so you know, he's all grown up now, so
I forget happy meals.
Speaker 4 (13:24):
You're getting them box meals.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Oh No, I was getting the the caneiat combo. Baby,
that's what Now he's getting the caniat combo. Back then
it was the box meal. Now some people try to
trash on canes. Those people are called the dicks. But this, it's,
you know, shaking finger equivalent of essentially waving the white
flag that you're not dieting when you eat the caniat combo.
And it's just amazing. It's a symphony of Texas toast
(13:48):
the crinkle cut fry. They've got the sauce. I mean,
you might as well just include a nap in that.
I'm not really a napper, but anyway, it was great.
We had that and we said around and we talked
for a while, my wife, Patrick and me, and he
regaled us with stories about, you know, his time in
(14:08):
marine life, and you know, some were funny. Some I'm
not gonna lie, Danny made made made me think about
what road have you chosen here? But you know, he's, uh,
it's his life and you've got to live your own life.
And you know, I'm happy that that's what he wanted
to do. And it's a it's great, but it doesn't
amaze me how much better the food is also on
(14:29):
the military base. I grew up near two defunct military
bases in Orange County, in El Toro and Tustin Marine Base,
and I had some buddies I went to school with
that were military brat kids, and every now and again
they would say, hey, hey, Benny, why do you know
they call me Benji? Actually, Benny, they call me Benji.
(14:50):
Why don't you come to the to the base. And
it was always the selling point Danny was, well, get
some candy because it's tax free, so it's cheaper.
Speaker 4 (14:59):
Right.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
I was a big bit fat kid wants candy, so
we go to the base. I remember the El Tooral
Base and they had the general store. It was like,
let's go to the general store. Bear bones, right. They
did have a McDonald's on the base, but nothing like
Camp Pendleton with a store the size of Costco and
raising canes, and they had I think there was a
(15:23):
Panda Express I remember correctly. Just crazy. This is a
new world order, Danny, Yeah, that's the way to do it.
Speaker 3 (15:31):
Man, most definitely. I mean we had ship places down
the street from where I lived as a little kid.
I can't imagine having a food court in your neighborhood.
On your block.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Oh yeah, it's wild, wild, wild, little crazy. So Benny
the Baker also made an appearance. That's one of the
nicknames my wife gave me. Realizing. And we didn't know
until Friday. We went on last last Saturday, but we
did not know until Friday night that we would be
allowed to visit it. So we ran out to the
store and got you know, we got some brownie stuff
(16:04):
and I made emergency brownies for for Patrick. Uh And
let me tell you something, Danny, All right, let me
tell you I learned something. The Marines. You know, they
might be big, tough guys, you know, and they eat
m r s and all that stuff in the field,
but you put a plate of warm brownies and uh,
they are like piranha and smelling blood in the water.
They they mean, they just go for it and uh man.
(16:28):
Uh So anyway, that was that was it, and it
was a good day, a little window into his world
and all that. Laugh. I was really pleased.
Speaker 4 (16:37):
I was.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
I was concerned where we were gonna eat. I was like,
that's gonna be a crappy meal. Uh, And we ate
the chicken fingers and it was. It was cool.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
It was a few hours that did I mean your
feet of them brownies. Did you at least get to
shoot off a few rounds? Yes, I would have been bartering.
I toss a few hand grenades.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Uh No. Also, I'm not a looted of but some
of the let's just say, Danny. They have several airports
on Camp Pendleton, several. We drove an hour in Camp
Pendleton to get to the Canes from where his uh
where he's living, you know, on dorms. I don't what
they call him. We drove an hour and we drove
(17:15):
by severals and barracks. There we was there were some helicopters, Nanny,
that I believe are worth I can't imagine, I mean,
the amount of weaponry that are on those helicopters. And
then just parked out there. I mean it was just
in I was in awe.
Speaker 4 (17:33):
I love stuff like that.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
Been to a couple of air museums, and man, I
could walk around and look at missiles and planes and
jets and helicopters for hours.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
Oh I'm right there too. I mean, you just feel
more masculine, right, you feel like you're you're you're you're
the man's man, and it's just it's crazy and it's
I was like, I can't take a photo. I was,
I wanted to take a was I can't. I get
in trouble, you know, I don't want to get in trouble.
It was wild man. They were the layer, tons of
them all lined up. There was another airport where they
had like the big giant cargo plane things and stuff.
(18:07):
So it was really a cool experience. And hopefully we'll
I don't know when we'll see him again, and he's
he's going to be there for a while at Camp Pendleton, Patrick,
and then at some point he will be finish infantry school,
he'll be assigned to a permanent base that's not his
permanent base, somewhere in the world, and then we'll, I
(18:28):
guess we'll be traveling to Japan or Italy or wherever
the hell he ends up.
Speaker 4 (18:32):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
So maybe it's going to be exciting to see where
they put him.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
Maybe he'll just stay there that'll be easy, but probably not.
And then one thing about Patrick, though he loves chicken fingers,
but he's not into golf shit, not yet. But when
he gets older, maybe he'll be into golf shop.
Speaker 3 (18:47):
Well possibly, he'll probably get to retire at a decent age, right.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
I would think I don't want old guys in the Marines. Right,
you got to get out by a certain age.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
Yeah, he'll be a high ranking officer and he'll have
plenty of time to go golf. Now, u's being lifelong broadcasters.
I don't know about you, but I've only picked up
golf clubs a couple of times.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
My experience with golf is limited. I've played it a
few times. I used to have some clubs. I never
played it. I've gone for social events over the years.
There's been a few radio gigs where they said, hey,
let's go out and have golf with the sponsors. And
we did one with Fox Sports Radio a couple of
years back before the pandemic. I remember that it was
(19:30):
the last time I played golf. That's like six years ago.
Speaker 4 (19:34):
Did you embarrass yourself or did you play? Okay?
Speaker 1 (19:36):
I absolutely embarrassed myself. Yeah, they there were some of
those old NFL players. There's some guy I forget his name.
He works at the NFL network. Every time I run
into him, he says he tells everyone at the NFL
network how bad a golfer I am? Like I hit
a chair like I'm let's screw you, Bucky Brooks. Yeah,
there you go. You know you know who it was,
(19:58):
Bucky book And Yeah. So I wish I was more
into golf because I feel like I would have been
more successful in radio. Not that I haven't been successful,
but I feel like if you're good at golf, that's
where you go out there and you schmooze and a
lot of us get done. And I've never been that
guy to get deals done, which bothers me. It bothers.
Speaker 3 (20:19):
Yeah, same, and so it's ironically really the only time
I went on a golf outing was with the general
manager of Q one oh four seven. It was probably
like the year two thousand, programming their hip hop station.
At the time, the station was a huge success and
I had a little bit of free time. They were
paying me good money, and he also told me, hey,
(20:41):
I want to give you some freebies. I want to
show you the life. He told me, I want to
show you what I do a couple of times a week.
So he takes me to Sherwood Country Club, which is
famously where Tiger Woods held his tournament every year. Hey
it's Tiger okay, So I'm out there and it's really
the first time I'm on a real golf course.
Speaker 4 (21:04):
I played so good. He was so.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
Surprised, you're bullshitting me. You've played before, And I'm like, no,
I swear it was totally beginner's luck. Because the second
time he took me out, which was a few months later,
I completely sucked. It was like I suddenly had never
picked up a golf club before. And what it was
is I got in my head. It's such a mental
(21:27):
sport that when you're not overthinking it, you can hit
the ball straight. When you're overthinking it, you slice the
shit out of the ball.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Yeah. And the the other thing about golf that I've
noticed is you're never good at everything. Like the person
that hits just amazing drives and just kills it with
the driver can't putt. Or the person that's good at
putting is fucking horrible. I just cursed horrible Danny at driving.
You know you can't. If you've got both. You're playing
(21:58):
on the PGA Tour, you're either good at one or
the other. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
If John Daily could put like Tiger Woods, he would
have been the best golfer who ever lived.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Yes, if you an't had balls, you know, the whole thing. Yes, exactly.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
My cousin in the Bay Area, in the San Francisco
Bay Area.
Speaker 4 (22:13):
He's more like a brother to me.
Speaker 3 (22:15):
We grew up, you know, with our families being really close,
and we've gone on hiking trips together as adults, and
you know, our lives are still intertwined. And I've done
like adult softball back in the day when I was
doing a radio station up there. He and I would
meet up once a week and play on a softball team.
And so, you know, we've done some adult sports together
(22:36):
even though we were young adults at the time. He
recently has taken up golf. He's even put a golf
simulator in his backyard. So he's starting to get serious
about it. And he's like, man, this is gonna be fun.
I want to go on a couple of trips where
I travel and bring my clubs. And I think he
went to play it again sports and he bought used
golf clubs, which as a smart move. You can get
(22:58):
golf clubs for decent price if you you know, grab
some from somebody who threw in the towel. You know,
I was thinking about, man, maybe I should take it
up too, so when I visit him in the Bay Area,
we could play some golf.
Speaker 4 (23:12):
It's funny.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
As I was thinking about this, I ran into this story. Here,
it says Norway's most bizarre golf mystery continues since the
year two thousand and five, Staveinger Golf Club in western
Norway has been dealing with a very unusual vandal.
Speaker 4 (23:30):
This is great. Someone keeps shitting in the golf holes?
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Is it?
Speaker 4 (23:35):
Unner?
Speaker 3 (23:38):
Rounds keepers they use the word defecating. By the way,
I'm gonna change it. Round Keepers say the culprit, believed
to be a man on a bicycle, strikes only on
weekday mornings and often hits the same holes. He's even
dodged security, once climbing a tree to disable floodlights. Twenty
years later, now the mystery pooper is still on the loose,
(24:00):
leaving people wondering if it's a grudge against golf, a
strange habit, or something even weirder.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
Wait a minute, you're telling me, I don't something doesn't
add up on this.
Speaker 4 (24:11):
Danny.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
With all the technology with cameras, they can't find who's
doing this.
Speaker 4 (24:15):
Come on, they say, he's elusive.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
Oh come on, what is it Bigfoot? The Bigfoot of shit?
Come on about that? That seems a little od Those
stories though, are good, Like remember there was the every
couple of years there's a guy that goes and poops
on someone's door, you know, or the mad pooper.
Speaker 4 (24:35):
Yeah, I remember you talking about that.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
Yeah, that's come up on the podcast over the years
a few times where somebody, like one time there was
a principle and I think it was in like New Jersey,
if I remember correctly, there was a principle that was
caught pooping on the track at the like the high
school track or something like that. Is that like some
kind of fetish where you like outdoor pooping. You're into
(24:59):
the outdoor poop. That's your thing, that's your your go to.
Speaker 3 (25:02):
I it's it's gotta be because like urinating outside, it's
one of the most freeing feelings there is.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
Well, it's it is great or and I only do
it on the road. I only do it on the road.
But then every once in a while it goes bad.
I remember I had a buddy of mine that worked
at he was at ESPN, but he was he was
a TV he was an anchor and he was covering
the World Series. A good guy. I think he's an
anchor in Cincinnati and I lost contact with him, but
you can google it. He was covering the World Series.
(25:33):
I think it was the World Series, might have been
the playoffs in Cleveland back in the nineties and he
was at a bar and I guess the bathroom was full,
so he decided that he would just take a piss
like out the window, and he got caught and got
like arrested. It was either got the window out in front,
but it was like, you know, it was in public,
(25:53):
and he got It was very embarrassing, but it wasn't
as embarrassing as it would be today because there was
no social media but then, but it was like, you know,
come on, like what are you doing.
Speaker 3 (26:04):
I loved this story because that, like I said, that
first time I played, I thought I was Tiger Woods Please.
The second time I played, I basically was shitting in
the golf holes.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Yeah, there you go, but I'm bumped. And do you
have golf clubs? Then you have you purchased golf clubs.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
I did not, because I was borrowing his extra clubs.
Those two times I tried it, and I didn't keep
with it. I think I might look for some used clubs.
I don't know if I have a sort of free
time you need, but I guess just once every couple
of weeks you could at least just go to a
public driving range.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
Yeah. If I had a good driver, and if somebody
knows how to get a really cheap, good set of clubs,
I'd be in on that. But the problem is I'm tall,
I think so I need like a special set of
a special set of clubs, which is an issue. So
if you have any acts. I went to the PGA
tour store. We went to Top Golf and got into that.
(27:02):
I was like, fun. We went to Top Golf a
couple of times and we're like, all right, I'll buy
some clubs. And I've told this story on the podcast,
but we'll buy some clubs and then we'll go to
the driving range. There's a couple of golf courses around here,
and we went and saw how much the clubs weren't.
I was like, oh, I'm not doing that. I mean, please,
it's insane buying them new. Sod I wouldn't buy them new,
(27:23):
but fun, I get you. We' getting older, Danny. I
guess we got to get in golf. Isn't that what
old you know?
Speaker 3 (27:27):
It's the circle of life. It's either pickleball or golf.
And I'm not playing pickleball, absolutely not.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
And if you see me playing pickleball, punch me right
in the nose. Loser, boom right there. All right, we'll
get out on that of the mail bag on Sunday,
Sunday Sunday, so we have that to look forward to.
Anything going on today, Nanny, I'll be schmoozing today, hanging
out with the wife. Maybe a little road trip somewhere,
(27:56):
I don't know, we'll see where we end up. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
Actually, this morning, the family we're going to file in
the station wagon. Yeah, might as well have a station
wagon with how many damn kids there are right now
because they're not back in school yet they will be soon.
But with our mutual Disneyland hookup, we get to go
to the park today.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
Oh good good. He was able to reach out to you,
our buddy, Kay. You know who you are, hey, Maggie K,
the man that makes dreams come true?
Speaker 4 (28:27):
Right yeah, circle K.
Speaker 3 (28:29):
And it is the circle of life because we're going
to take these kids to the park and then immediately
kick their asses out of the house and send them
back to the schools they belong to.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
What a great way to end the summer, right, yeah, yeah,
go there. And you know how much are you planning
on spending at Disney today, Danny? What are we looking at?
Speaker 4 (28:49):
We're gonna pack peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
Good, get a locker, that's what you gotta do.
Speaker 4 (28:54):
Get it up.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
And the wife though, she always loves those corn dogs.
She's like, we got to get the corn dog at Disney.
It's it's the greatest court.
Speaker 4 (29:02):
Yes, I'm with her. We usually do one corn dog
and one dollwib.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
The doll web site. Yeah, and they're right near each
other too. There's a corn dog on main Street. There's
a cart.
Speaker 4 (29:12):
Yeah, I know exactly what the one you're talking about.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
The right and then you go across Main Street as
you're going on your way to the Jungle Cruise. Right
before there, there's a little that's where the Dolwib thing is.
I think so, yes, sir, all right, I'm glad. Well anyway,
have a wonderful time. That's awesome. Mister k is the man,
And there's been Ben he's been listening to the show
(29:35):
for a long time. He's he was at the Bakersfield Shindig.
Speaker 4 (29:40):
That's right.
Speaker 3 (29:40):
I remember meeting him there, and dude, me and my
better half, we are so appreciative because there is no
way in hell we could have been able to bring
the kids. You know, living in southern California, there's no
way we could have brought them this summer otherwise.
Speaker 4 (29:55):
Oh no.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
I one of the reasons he reached out he's, you know,
a lot of people and they don't interact that much,
but he had interacted before and then we kind of
lost track. And then he reached out to me because
I was complaining on the radio about I said, I
live close to Disneyland, I never go because it's so
freaking expensive and all that. And he's, you know, Kay
knows some people. He's a mad man. He's a made man,
(30:16):
so he can make your dreams come true. Anyway, all right,
I have a wonderful Saturday again. We'll have the mail
bag on Sunday and see you then.
Speaker 4 (30:25):
Yea. I see for the mail bag later, Skater my
flation
Kutbooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to a clearinghouse
of hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth
(00:23):
Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
In the air everywhere. The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben
Mahler and Danny G Radio A Happy Saturday to you.
It is the what are we looking at? The sixteenth
day today? The sixteenth day of August, and we were
just a few weeks away from the start of the
real NFL season. And no, I am not partaking in
(00:50):
these exhibition games this weekend. I'm not. But that being said,
it is national Danny G is National roller Coaster Day today.
Are you a roller coaster guy? We we've had this
conversation before. I feel like we've talked about this on.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
That Yeah, yeah, yeah, we talked about this just a
couple of weekends ago. I love that one roller coaster
in San Diego.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Okay, all right, yeah, you mentioned SeaWorld rights turned into
a roller coaster place, now, right, that's yeah.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
They had people picketing outside their park.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
I don't know what was that. Ten fifteen years ago.
People were up in arms when that documentary came out. Remember, yeah,
Shamou and the others being bent up and mistreated, and
lots of questions about that. And so a couple of
changes SeaWorld made was they were only going to rehabilitate
(01:40):
sea creatures and not you know, just keep them captive
for people's entertainment. Only because of that, they had to
shift gears and go in a different direction. And so
they started adding roller coasters and rides to their park.
And man, they got a couple of really good roller
coasters there.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
That's cool. That's cool. I went to SeaWorld a couple
times when I was a kid. There were two things
I remember about my trips to sea World. One, my
dear old mom was hit in the head with bird
crap A bird crapped on my mom's head. She was
very upset by that. Next thing, I know, I just
saw this white thing flying at my face. It ruined
(02:18):
the whole day. And then I also remember seeing Shamoo,
the famous Shamoo who's right up there with Elvis and
some of the all time legends, and then getting a
little shamoo stuffy. When I was a kid, I remember
that at the world that was a big thing for
good stuffy, right, yeah, yeah, I think I don't know
who knows? I did learn because it's National roller Coaster
(02:39):
Day and I have to provide a fun fact for
alf and ferg Dog and those guys. Do you know
the first roll the first country to have a roller coaster?
Speaker 4 (02:49):
What do you think it was?
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Danny? The first country that, according to documentation, to have
a roller coaster? What do you they do? Do do?
Speaker 3 (03:00):
It's a strange question I ever thought about anything. Yeah, exactly,
It's an odd question.
Speaker 4 (03:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
I thought I'm going to thought it was America. I
thought America.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
So my guess was I'm going to say, I'm going
to say the UK?
Speaker 1 (03:11):
The UK? All right? That makes sense a lot of
things in the UK, right, Yeah, US built by people
that left the UK and wanted less taxes, so now
we have all the taxes. No. According to the documented history,
the first roller coaster appeared in the fifteen hundreds in Russia. Russia. Russia.
(03:33):
Russian roller coasters were made of wood with icy rams
on which.
Speaker 4 (03:38):
People can have fun for three minutes.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
I get some ghoula, And so that was in the
fifteen hundreds, but it was like a couple hundred years
later the history. How about, how about you were a
historian of the roller coaster? How do you end up
in that gig Anyway, In the seventeen hundreds in Russia,
the early roller coasters were such a hit that wheels
(04:02):
were then added to the carts so people could continue
to ride during the summer, because they only had them
during the winter, because it was like a winter thing.
It was kind of like what we'd call sledding, but
they called it a roller coaster, and so they put
wheels on them in the seventeen hundreds so people could
ride even during the summer months, that one month of
the year where the weather's pretty good. But the real
(04:22):
golden age of the coaster, the golden age of the
coaster was the early nineteen hundreds, and really like the
nineteen teens, the Great Depression in America and Coney Island
in Brooklyn, there were innovations and all kinds of things.
So I mean, there's a bunch of coasters all over
(04:43):
the place now, but so there you go Russia, Mother
Russia and the fifteen hundreds, and then the Great Depression
led to amazing, amazing fun.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
I think you mentioned in the past that you don't
fit on a lot of the roller coasters, But have
you ever been to Mountain in Valencia, California.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
I have not. I have not spent time at matt
I've driven by it a bunch. I've not gone because,
as you said, I don't fit. I don't even fit
on Space Mountain. I can't imagine going on those. You're
going north on the five. You go buy Magic Mountain,
and these things are insane. It's like there are mountains
of roller coaster but I've never never gone because I
figured if I can't fit on Space Mountain at Disneyland,
(05:25):
I'm not going to un stuff at Magic Mountain.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
I don't know if it's still open. It might it
might be closed unless they renovated it. But it was
an old wooden roller coaster. I'm going to have to
look that up. But it's a big white wooden structure.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Racist it looks.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Awesome and you hear people screaming on it. Then you
go on it and you realize everyone's screaming because their
back is hurting. It's sticky, and yeah, because it's a
wood roller coaster. Oh my god, that thing shakes you
from side to side. And when you get off, there's
a chiropractor's office representative standing outside handing out business cards.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
And is that where they came up with the billboard?
Who hurt You?
Speaker 4 (06:08):
Is that?
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Is that right there? Right there? Who hurt you? When
you're leaving Magic Mountain? So on this podcast we have
give me liberty and give me chicken fingers some golf shit?
Speaker 4 (06:21):
Are you allowed to say that? Oh?
Speaker 1 (06:23):
I did? I just it's a podcast, Yes, I get yes,
all right, So I'll begin with it. So, my my son, Patrick,
who was if you followed along on this podcast, is
now officially a United States Marine, graduated from boot camp
not that long ago in San Diego. And he walked
across the deck there the famous military based Marine training
(06:47):
center there in San Diego. Now that was you know,
that was big. That was a big deal, right, It
was you know, lump in the throats type stuff, and
you know, big day in someone's life. And then you know,
he graduate from marine boot camp. And so this past weekend,
and I had mentioned this to you Danny in passing,
But this past weekend it was something a little different.
(07:07):
He's currently at Infantry School, and so he's at Camp Pendleton, which,
if you're not familiar, is this massive stretch of military land.
If you're not from southern California, if you drive between
La and San Diego, there's about seemingly twenty miles which
is just a military base, and you know, you drive
(07:28):
through and you're like, wow, yeah, yeah, you see the
shooting ranges and all the practice, yeah buildings, it looks
pretty cool. And it's like every time I've driven by there,
and I used to work in San Diego, so I
drove by there quite a bit and you're like, what
are they actually doing there? It turns out they do
a lot. They do a lot. Now I've been told
(07:49):
I can't get into too many specifics, of course, because
I don't want to knock on the door Danny from
someone like they'd be worried about what I say on
this stupid podcast. I don't want to be accused of
harboring you know something. But I can tell you stuff
that is readily available. For example, I can tell you
that Camp Pendleton is ginormous Danny. In fact, I was
(08:13):
driving around it. I'll explain why in a second. But
two hundred square miles. It's estimated there are five hundred
miles of roads on Camp Pendleton. You could hide, yes,
you could hide, no idea. I didn't either. I had
no idea. I just saw the stretch between La and
San Diego, like through things, so you could you literally
(08:34):
almost put Rhode Island in there and have room for Delaware.
It's that big.
Speaker 4 (08:38):
That must be so cool to see that from the
from the air.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Uh yeah, yeah, So I've I've driven past it. Shot
down but they kill you. So I've driven past it
hundreds of times literally over the years. We've all done it, Danny,
you going to San Diego with the family and whatnot,
and we've made that drive. Uh. And so you know
back then when I was missing, I never once stopped in.
I wasn't invited Dan, he didn't invite me to Camp Pendleton.
(09:02):
I never had a reason to go to Camp Pendleton.
And so this past weekend, like the kid Patrick, he
got on Base Liberty. Now, I had no fn idea.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
What that meant.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
I was like, he sent us a text here, I
got some Liberty. This weekend, but I can only it's
on Base Liberty. I said, what the F is that?
So for the uninitiated, like I was that man, I
know a lot of you guys have been in the military,
have got family and military, but this is all new
to me. So it means that he's free to hang out.
He's not. He doesn't have any work stuff. He can
(09:33):
hang out with visitors, provided he doesn't actually leave the base.
He's not allowed to leave the base, which is telling
a kid, you can eat as much ice cream as
you want, but only in the freezer aisle at the
grocery store in Aisle five. You can't go on Aisle six.
You can't go on Aisle you know. You can't go
on Aisle four. You got to stay on all five.
So we drove down into Ocean Side or ocean side
adjacent there, and you've you've been there. That's Junior se
(09:57):
I was old town right ocean side back in the day,
and just a little outpost. It's in between Orange County
and San Diego. It's a little a little south of
the San Diego Orange County line.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
It's a bit stop for us because traffic usually it's
all clogged up right there. So you pull off in
ocean side to have a little lunch and wait it out.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Yeah. Yeah, it smells like salt water. There's lots of sunscreen,
people in good looking people in bikinis, fish tacos, you know,
the whole thing. And I did not know this, but
amazing Chicken figures more on that in a minute. So
getting onto the base, it felt like I was entering
a different country, like a small sovereign country. And it
(10:42):
was very clean, very organized. There were housing tracks and
things like that, and I was like, wow, this is crazy, man,
and I didn't know where the hell was going. The
most amazing thing is at the gate, you know, there's
this military police guy and he looks at your driver's
license and kind of gives you the run around and stuff.
And then you're on the base and they don't tell you, hey,
you can't go here, you can't go there, you can
(11:03):
only stay here. So we were just like free rein.
I was like, holy crap. And then they've got an MCX,
which is the Marine Corps Exchange thing and Patrick, my kid, says,
he says, hey, he said, hey, this is the size
of Walmart. And he wasn't wrong, and these things are
all over. They had the big one on Camp Pendleton's
(11:23):
like literally the size of going into a Costco or
a Walmart.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
And oh, forget Kirkland Brand exactly. Maybe we're gonna start
shopping there.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Well there's one problem, Danny, there's one problem. So I
went in there and I'm like, all right, I'm gonna
you know, they had all the military uniforms and all
that stuff. This is where the soldiers by their crap,
and they they had the regular stuff. They had electronics,
they had regular clothing cities as they call them, and
all the kinds of house stuff and it was just
a regular massive store the MCX and I realized I
(11:54):
wanted to get something, but they didn't want to get
an air fryer. I already have that. I didn't, you know.
They weren't getting too big, and I was like, well,
maybe I'll get some clothing. And then I realized that
there's really only one thing that I could get, and
so I bought a pair of socks because that's the
only thing they sold that fit my body type. It
(12:17):
turns out, Danny, I don't have a marine body. I'm
not military grade. Apparently, I'm not built like Rambo. I'm
built like Rambo's you know, gas bag uncle or something
like that.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
Who sits So you can't get on roller coasters and
you can't shop at the exchange there.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Yeah, in my head, I was. I walked in. My
eyes were huge. I was say, Oh, this is gonna
be great, dude. I'm gonna get so much cool stuff.
You know, it's all tax free because it's on a
military base and all this. No, I got socks. They're
nice green military socks, and I assume they'll last for
a while. So anyway, but they also Danny, they have
a raising canes on bass.
Speaker 4 (12:56):
Now.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
I mentioned this because Patrick suggests. He said, hey, you
know we were there. He had liberty, so he come down.
We'll have lunch. He didn't say where we're gonna have lunch,
and then he said he suggested that we eat there,
and I did not protest. Now, we both share a
neutral love of raising canes, and I had taken him
there pretty much every week for chunks of his child
like we would. I would drag his ass to canes
(13:21):
and so you know, he's all grown up now, so
I forget happy meals.
Speaker 4 (13:24):
You're getting them box meals.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Oh No, I was getting the the caneiat combo. Baby,
that's what Now he's getting the caniat combo. Back then
it was the box meal. Now some people try to
trash on canes. Those people are called the dicks. But this, it's,
you know, shaking finger equivalent of essentially waving the white
flag that you're not dieting when you eat the caniat combo.
And it's just amazing. It's a symphony of Texas toast
(13:48):
the crinkle cut fry. They've got the sauce. I mean,
you might as well just include a nap in that.
I'm not really a napper, but anyway, it was great.
We had that and we said around and we talked
for a while, my wife, Patrick and me, and he
regaled us with stories about, you know, his time in
(14:08):
marine life, and you know, some were funny. Some I'm
not gonna lie, Danny made made made me think about
what road have you chosen here? But you know, he's, uh,
it's his life and you've got to live your own life.
And you know, I'm happy that that's what he wanted
to do. And it's a it's great, but it doesn't
amaze me how much better the food is also on
(14:29):
the military base. I grew up near two defunct military
bases in Orange County, in El Toro and Tustin Marine Base,
and I had some buddies I went to school with
that were military brat kids, and every now and again
they would say, hey, hey, Benny, why do you know
they call me Benji? Actually, Benny, they call me Benji.
(14:50):
Why don't you come to the to the base. And
it was always the selling point Danny was, well, get
some candy because it's tax free, so it's cheaper.
Speaker 4 (14:59):
Right.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
I was a big bit fat kid wants candy, so
we go to the base. I remember the El Tooral
Base and they had the general store. It was like,
let's go to the general store. Bear bones, right. They
did have a McDonald's on the base, but nothing like
Camp Pendleton with a store the size of Costco and
raising canes, and they had I think there was a
(15:23):
Panda Express I remember correctly. Just crazy. This is a
new world order, Danny, Yeah, that's the way to do it.
Speaker 3 (15:31):
Man, most definitely. I mean we had ship places down
the street from where I lived as a little kid.
I can't imagine having a food court in your neighborhood.
On your block.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Oh yeah, it's wild, wild, wild, little crazy. So Benny
the Baker also made an appearance. That's one of the
nicknames my wife gave me. Realizing. And we didn't know
until Friday. We went on last last Saturday, but we
did not know until Friday night that we would be
allowed to visit it. So we ran out to the
store and got you know, we got some brownie stuff
(16:04):
and I made emergency brownies for for Patrick. Uh And
let me tell you something, Danny, All right, let me
tell you I learned something. The Marines. You know, they
might be big, tough guys, you know, and they eat
m r s and all that stuff in the field,
but you put a plate of warm brownies and uh,
they are like piranha and smelling blood in the water.
They they mean, they just go for it and uh man.
(16:28):
Uh So anyway, that was that was it, and it
was a good day, a little window into his world
and all that. Laugh. I was really pleased.
Speaker 4 (16:37):
I was.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
I was concerned where we were gonna eat. I was like,
that's gonna be a crappy meal. Uh, And we ate
the chicken fingers and it was. It was cool.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
It was a few hours that did I mean your
feet of them brownies. Did you at least get to
shoot off a few rounds? Yes, I would have been bartering.
I toss a few hand grenades.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Uh No. Also, I'm not a looted of but some
of the let's just say, Danny. They have several airports
on Camp Pendleton, several. We drove an hour in Camp
Pendleton to get to the Canes from where his uh
where he's living, you know, on dorms. I don't what
they call him. We drove an hour and we drove
(17:15):
by severals and barracks. There we was there were some helicopters, Nanny,
that I believe are worth I can't imagine, I mean,
the amount of weaponry that are on those helicopters. And
then just parked out there. I mean it was just
in I was in awe.
Speaker 4 (17:33):
I love stuff like that.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
Been to a couple of air museums, and man, I
could walk around and look at missiles and planes and
jets and helicopters for hours.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
Oh I'm right there too. I mean, you just feel
more masculine, right, you feel like you're you're you're you're
the man's man, and it's just it's crazy and it's
I was like, I can't take a photo. I was,
I wanted to take a was I can't. I get
in trouble, you know, I don't want to get in trouble.
It was wild man. They were the layer, tons of
them all lined up. There was another airport where they
had like the big giant cargo plane things and stuff.
(18:07):
So it was really a cool experience. And hopefully we'll
I don't know when we'll see him again, and he's
he's going to be there for a while at Camp Pendleton, Patrick,
and then at some point he will be finish infantry school,
he'll be assigned to a permanent base that's not his
permanent base, somewhere in the world, and then we'll, I
(18:28):
guess we'll be traveling to Japan or Italy or wherever
the hell he ends up.
Speaker 4 (18:32):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
So maybe it's going to be exciting to see where
they put him.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
Maybe he'll just stay there that'll be easy, but probably not.
And then one thing about Patrick, though he loves chicken fingers,
but he's not into golf shit, not yet. But when
he gets older, maybe he'll be into golf shop.
Speaker 3 (18:47):
Well possibly, he'll probably get to retire at a decent age, right.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
I would think I don't want old guys in the Marines. Right,
you got to get out by a certain age.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
Yeah, he'll be a high ranking officer and he'll have
plenty of time to go golf. Now, u's being lifelong broadcasters.
I don't know about you, but I've only picked up
golf clubs a couple of times.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
My experience with golf is limited. I've played it a
few times. I used to have some clubs. I never
played it. I've gone for social events over the years.
There's been a few radio gigs where they said, hey,
let's go out and have golf with the sponsors. And
we did one with Fox Sports Radio a couple of
years back before the pandemic. I remember that it was
(19:30):
the last time I played golf. That's like six years ago.
Speaker 4 (19:34):
Did you embarrass yourself or did you play? Okay?
Speaker 1 (19:36):
I absolutely embarrassed myself. Yeah, they there were some of
those old NFL players. There's some guy I forget his name.
He works at the NFL network. Every time I run
into him, he says he tells everyone at the NFL
network how bad a golfer I am? Like I hit
a chair like I'm let's screw you, Bucky Brooks. Yeah,
there you go. You know you know who it was,
(19:58):
Bucky book And Yeah. So I wish I was more
into golf because I feel like I would have been
more successful in radio. Not that I haven't been successful,
but I feel like if you're good at golf, that's
where you go out there and you schmooze and a
lot of us get done. And I've never been that
guy to get deals done, which bothers me. It bothers.
Speaker 3 (20:19):
Yeah, same, and so it's ironically really the only time
I went on a golf outing was with the general
manager of Q one oh four seven. It was probably
like the year two thousand, programming their hip hop station.
At the time, the station was a huge success and
I had a little bit of free time. They were
paying me good money, and he also told me, hey,
(20:41):
I want to give you some freebies. I want to
show you the life. He told me, I want to
show you what I do a couple of times a week.
So he takes me to Sherwood Country Club, which is
famously where Tiger Woods held his tournament every year. Hey
it's Tiger okay, So I'm out there and it's really
the first time I'm on a real golf course.
Speaker 4 (21:04):
I played so good. He was so.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
Surprised, you're bullshitting me. You've played before, And I'm like, no,
I swear it was totally beginner's luck. Because the second
time he took me out, which was a few months later,
I completely sucked. It was like I suddenly had never
picked up a golf club before. And what it was
is I got in my head. It's such a mental
(21:27):
sport that when you're not overthinking it, you can hit
the ball straight. When you're overthinking it, you slice the
shit out of the ball.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Yeah. And the the other thing about golf that I've
noticed is you're never good at everything. Like the person
that hits just amazing drives and just kills it with
the driver can't putt. Or the person that's good at
putting is fucking horrible. I just cursed horrible Danny at driving.
You know you can't. If you've got both. You're playing
(21:58):
on the PGA Tour, you're either good at one or
the other. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
If John Daily could put like Tiger Woods, he would
have been the best golfer who ever lived.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Yes, if you an't had balls, you know, the whole thing. Yes, exactly.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
My cousin in the Bay Area, in the San Francisco
Bay Area.
Speaker 4 (22:13):
He's more like a brother to me.
Speaker 3 (22:15):
We grew up, you know, with our families being really close,
and we've gone on hiking trips together as adults, and
you know, our lives are still intertwined. And I've done
like adult softball back in the day when I was
doing a radio station up there. He and I would
meet up once a week and play on a softball team.
And so, you know, we've done some adult sports together
(22:36):
even though we were young adults at the time. He
recently has taken up golf. He's even put a golf
simulator in his backyard. So he's starting to get serious
about it. And he's like, man, this is gonna be fun.
I want to go on a couple of trips where
I travel and bring my clubs. And I think he
went to play it again sports and he bought used
golf clubs, which as a smart move. You can get
(22:58):
golf clubs for decent price if you you know, grab
some from somebody who threw in the towel. You know,
I was thinking about, man, maybe I should take it
up too, so when I visit him in the Bay Area,
we could play some golf.
Speaker 4 (23:12):
It's funny.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
As I was thinking about this, I ran into this story. Here,
it says Norway's most bizarre golf mystery continues since the
year two thousand and five, Staveinger Golf Club in western
Norway has been dealing with a very unusual vandal.
Speaker 4 (23:30):
This is great. Someone keeps shitting in the golf holes?
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Is it?
Speaker 4 (23:35):
Unner?
Speaker 3 (23:38):
Rounds keepers they use the word defecating. By the way,
I'm gonna change it. Round Keepers say the culprit, believed
to be a man on a bicycle, strikes only on
weekday mornings and often hits the same holes. He's even
dodged security, once climbing a tree to disable floodlights. Twenty
years later, now the mystery pooper is still on the loose,
(24:00):
leaving people wondering if it's a grudge against golf, a
strange habit, or something even weirder.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
Wait a minute, you're telling me, I don't something doesn't
add up on this.
Speaker 4 (24:11):
Danny.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
With all the technology with cameras, they can't find who's
doing this.
Speaker 4 (24:15):
Come on, they say, he's elusive.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
Oh come on, what is it Bigfoot? The Bigfoot of shit?
Come on about that? That seems a little od Those
stories though, are good, Like remember there was the every
couple of years there's a guy that goes and poops
on someone's door, you know, or the mad pooper.
Speaker 4 (24:35):
Yeah, I remember you talking about that.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
Yeah, that's come up on the podcast over the years
a few times where somebody, like one time there was
a principle and I think it was in like New Jersey,
if I remember correctly, there was a principle that was
caught pooping on the track at the like the high
school track or something like that. Is that like some
kind of fetish where you like outdoor pooping. You're into
(24:59):
the outdoor poop. That's your thing, that's your your go to.
Speaker 3 (25:02):
I it's it's gotta be because like urinating outside, it's
one of the most freeing feelings there is.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
Well, it's it is great or and I only do
it on the road. I only do it on the road.
But then every once in a while it goes bad.
I remember I had a buddy of mine that worked
at he was at ESPN, but he was he was
a TV he was an anchor and he was covering
the World Series. A good guy. I think he's an
anchor in Cincinnati and I lost contact with him, but
you can google it. He was covering the World Series.
(25:33):
I think it was the World Series, might have been
the playoffs in Cleveland back in the nineties and he
was at a bar and I guess the bathroom was full,
so he decided that he would just take a piss
like out the window, and he got caught and got
like arrested. It was either got the window out in front,
but it was like, you know, it was in public,
(25:53):
and he got It was very embarrassing, but it wasn't
as embarrassing as it would be today because there was
no social media but then, but it was like, you know,
come on, like what are you doing.
Speaker 3 (26:04):
I loved this story because that, like I said, that
first time I played, I thought I was Tiger Woods Please.
The second time I played, I basically was shitting in
the golf holes.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Yeah, there you go, but I'm bumped. And do you
have golf clubs? Then you have you purchased golf clubs.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
I did not, because I was borrowing his extra clubs.
Those two times I tried it, and I didn't keep
with it. I think I might look for some used clubs.
I don't know if I have a sort of free
time you need, but I guess just once every couple
of weeks you could at least just go to a
public driving range.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
Yeah. If I had a good driver, and if somebody
knows how to get a really cheap, good set of clubs,
I'd be in on that. But the problem is I'm tall,
I think so I need like a special set of
a special set of clubs, which is an issue. So
if you have any acts. I went to the PGA
tour store. We went to Top Golf and got into that.
(27:02):
I was like, fun. We went to Top Golf a
couple of times and we're like, all right, I'll buy
some clubs. And I've told this story on the podcast,
but we'll buy some clubs and then we'll go to
the driving range. There's a couple of golf courses around here,
and we went and saw how much the clubs weren't.
I was like, oh, I'm not doing that. I mean, please,
it's insane buying them new. Sod I wouldn't buy them new,
(27:23):
but fun, I get you. We' getting older, Danny. I
guess we got to get in golf. Isn't that what
old you know?
Speaker 3 (27:27):
It's the circle of life. It's either pickleball or golf.
And I'm not playing pickleball, absolutely not.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
And if you see me playing pickleball, punch me right
in the nose. Loser, boom right there. All right, we'll
get out on that of the mail bag on Sunday,
Sunday Sunday, so we have that to look forward to.
Anything going on today, Nanny, I'll be schmoozing today, hanging
out with the wife. Maybe a little road trip somewhere,
(27:56):
I don't know, we'll see where we end up. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
Actually, this morning, the family we're going to file in
the station wagon. Yeah, might as well have a station
wagon with how many damn kids there are right now
because they're not back in school yet they will be soon.
But with our mutual Disneyland hookup, we get to go
to the park today.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
Oh good good. He was able to reach out to you,
our buddy, Kay. You know who you are, hey, Maggie K,
the man that makes dreams come true?
Speaker 4 (28:27):
Right yeah, circle K.
Speaker 3 (28:29):
And it is the circle of life because we're going
to take these kids to the park and then immediately
kick their asses out of the house and send them
back to the schools they belong to.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
What a great way to end the summer, right, yeah, yeah,
go there. And you know how much are you planning
on spending at Disney today, Danny? What are we looking at?
Speaker 4 (28:49):
We're gonna pack peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
Good, get a locker, that's what you gotta do.
Speaker 4 (28:54):
Get it up.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
And the wife though, she always loves those corn dogs.
She's like, we got to get the corn dog at Disney.
It's it's the greatest court.
Speaker 4 (29:02):
Yes, I'm with her. We usually do one corn dog
and one dollwib.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
The doll web site. Yeah, and they're right near each
other too. There's a corn dog on main Street. There's
a cart.
Speaker 4 (29:12):
Yeah, I know exactly what the one you're talking about.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
The right and then you go across Main Street as
you're going on your way to the Jungle Cruise. Right
before there, there's a little that's where the Dolwib thing is.
I think so, yes, sir, all right, I'm glad. Well anyway,
have a wonderful time. That's awesome. Mister k is the man,
And there's been Ben he's been listening to the show
(29:35):
for a long time. He's he was at the Bakersfield Shindig.
Speaker 4 (29:40):
That's right.
Speaker 3 (29:40):
I remember meeting him there, and dude, me and my
better half, we are so appreciative because there is no
way in hell we could have been able to bring
the kids. You know, living in southern California, there's no
way we could have brought them this summer otherwise.
Speaker 4 (29:55):
Oh no.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
I one of the reasons he reached out he's, you know,
a lot of people and they don't interact that much,
but he had interacted before and then we kind of
lost track. And then he reached out to me because
I was complaining on the radio about I said, I
live close to Disneyland, I never go because it's so
freaking expensive and all that. And he's, you know, Kay
knows some people. He's a mad man. He's a made man,
(30:16):
so he can make your dreams come true. Anyway, all right,
I have a wonderful Saturday again. We'll have the mail
bag on Sunday and see you then.
Speaker 4 (30:25):
Yea. I see for the mail bag later, Skater my
flation
Host
Ben Maller
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