May 11, 2025 • 35 mins
Ben Maller & Danny G. have Mail Bag fun for your Mother's Day Sunday! All questions sent in by new listeners & P1's of the #MallerMilitia! Download, subscribe, and remember that sharing is caring (unless it's an STD.) Follow Danny G. @DannyGradio and Ben on Twitter @BenMaller and listen to the original terrestrial radio edition of "Ben Maller Show," Monday-Friday on Fox Sports Radio, 2a-6a ET, 11p-3a PT!...Follow, rate & review "The Fifth Hour!"
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Kabooms.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow, it's the clearinghouse
of hot takes. Break free for something special. The Fifth
(00:24):
Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
In the air everywhere.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben Mahler and Danny g
Radio A Happy Sunday to you.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
It is the eleventh day of May.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
We are recording this podcast live on tape, Live on tape.
Speaker 4 (00:48):
I told you Madison Square Garden was going to be
rocking yesterday. The Knicks probably wanted a better outcome.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Yeah yeah, yeah, Well you spend that kind of money,
I guess you got. You know, I go out and
have a good.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Time, loser. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Well, here's the thing about the New York Nick fan, Danny.
People talk about the cowboy fan, and they talk about
how the cowboy fan has an elitism and all that
the New York Nick fan to be in Midtown Manhattan,
the Mecca, and that Nick franchise now.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Maybe this will be the year.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
Maybe they'll end up figuring things out against the Celtics
and all that.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
That's a maybe I've been I'm getting old, Danny.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
The Knicks have not won a championship while I've been alive, Okay,
and I've been around for a while, they have been.
Speaker 4 (01:35):
Now you're to the age where you're limping around like
Willis Reid.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
I guess I'm having my Willis Reid moll But but
but it's it's wild the new and not listen, we
have I have family from New York. I'm one of
my cousins we had on here is a Knicks fan
a few weeks back. And I have other cousins that
are Knicks fans and whatnot. But the arrogance of the
Knick fan is wild, considering all the resources they have
(02:00):
in New York, and they are just so blah so often,
and but hey.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
You know, here we are. They're they're feeling good about
themselves and they're celebrating having a great time. And we'll
see if they actually end up beating the Celtics here
early they end up screwing this thing up.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
I mean, this feels like probably their best chance since
Carmelo Anthony, who that was sarcasm.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Yeah, I remember when they got mellow.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
I was on the air when the trade happened, when
the Nicks got mellow from the Nuggets, and a lot
of people forget they actually had a ticker tape parade
through the Hero of Canyons before he had even played
a game.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
He got he was.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
It was like he was in the popemobile going down
there midtown Manhattan.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Uh and uh and just having a great time.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
So we have the mail bag, Ohio, Al, we'll get
it started properly.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
So Ohioow, you know what to do.
Speaker 5 (02:50):
It's all right, all right, let's get into it here.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
These are actual questions by actual listeners. If you'd like
to send a message to the mail bag for next week,
send it care of Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
That's Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
The first letter of the weekend comes from Dave in
New Hampshire. Dave does not say where he is from
in New Hampshire, but one of my favorite cities to
visit is in New Hampshire. Portsmith, New Hampshire, which is
a small pretty much just a tourist town between Maine
and Boston. And it is awesome because I've only been
(03:43):
there when the weather's good. I'm sure it probably sucks
most of the year when the weather's bad, but it
is amazing in the summertime. One of the great places
I've been to Portsmouth, New Hampshire. So, Dave, I don't
know if you're from there. Obviously not. You didn't say
you just said from New Hampshire. There's only a couple
of cities in New Hampshire, so maybe you are. Anyway,
Dave says, this is the pod on I semi regular basis.
He said, Ben, I heard you talk about this in
(04:03):
a show a while back. Did you know this was coming?
How do you feel about it? He then sent a
link Danny to a story from and we see. NBC
Sports announced with the return of the NBA, they will
be having Jim Fagan beat the voiceover guy.
Speaker 4 (04:22):
I saw this.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
He died in twenty seventeen, AI generated voice announcer. They
say it's because of nostalgia. So he died at age
seventy two and twenty seventeen, which means he would have
been what like eighty I guess this year. And he's
going to be part of the coach he was the
guy that did the voiceover stuff back in the in
the nineties for NBC.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Dave.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
I did not know about this. I nobody told me
about this particular story. I think I can say what
I mean. I know I have the TV show We
Hope Comes Back, which is on NBC Sports, But.
Speaker 4 (04:57):
I don't wait say it right Ben your keV, Well, I.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Don't like it.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
How about that your TV shows on wa an NBC yes, WC.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
No, I don't.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
I don't like it. I listen, this guy had a
great run.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
And I know they're claiming nostalgia and all that, and
it's fun and cool.
Speaker 4 (05:19):
Now does his family get paid?
Speaker 3 (05:23):
I don't know about that. I mean, this guy did that.
He did it from ninety nineteen ninety to twenty oh
two for twelve years. He was the voice of the
NBA for the Jordan years and.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
All that. I mean.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
I know they're bringing back round Ball Rock from John Tesh,
so that that'll be back, but John Tesh is still
still alive, so the way the story goes here Jim.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Jim's daughters provided a statement.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
They said, we're deeply grateful that NBC Sports had the
vision to honor our father's legacy and such a meetingful.
It took great pride in his work, all that stuff.
I don't see where he where the family's getting any
money out of it. But but here's my but, whether
you're getting paid or not, Danny, I think the whole
point is we all have our time. Somebody else should
(06:18):
become the next Jim, you know, Jim Fagan.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Somebody else should have the opportunity to have that job.
Speaker 4 (06:24):
And so that's their voice blocking, their voice blocking the
next voiceover generation.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Yeah, I mean there's the next wave. You know.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
We all have our time, and you know, hopefully it
goes on for a long time, but at some point
we need to have a different distinguished voiceover.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
I don't think the Malord militia is gonna agree with you, though,
if Heaven forbid anything happened to you down the road,
I think the militia is gonna scream and and call
our bosses. Scott Chaparro will probably still be running things,
and he'll throw a big party when he replaces you.
But then he'll then record scratch moment because he's gonna
(07:03):
have to do Ben mallor Ai and he'll have to
type it out in program it to where or maybe Coop,
because Coop does a lot of your writing now, so.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Yes, many of the monologues.
Speaker 4 (07:14):
Yes, so I'm sure Coop could just write out what
he wants your voice to say.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
Yeah, it's funny because I Coople. He'll write the monologues
and I'll just have like dinner and watch movies and stuff,
and I'll roll into the studio. Sometimes they even show
up after the show starts and he'll just hand me
the copy because he's been working all day on the
show writing the monologues.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
And I said, well, that's great, Coop, thanks for putting
the work in there.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
Through the heck is justin Cooper?
Speaker 1 (07:37):
I don't know, but I.
Speaker 4 (07:42):
Want to mount it.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Yeah, And I technically have been replaced by AI. I
got let going nine.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
God that's a long time ago now, but got let
go and was replaced by a can of.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Soup, the Fox Sports soup replace me.
Speaker 4 (07:57):
So I'm on a steamer.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Okay, Well, yeah, I think there's websites you can get that.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
Smitty Smitty writes in from Hartford to we are dominating.
The first two emails from New Hampshire and Hartford, Connecticut.
We dominate the northeast anyway. Smitty from Hartford writes, is
Ben Danny, I listen as much as I can.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
Ben.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
I heard lead a Lap producing your show this week.
It sounded like you and him were having some issues
with the call screening. Can you let us pe ones
know what happened? Thank you, Smitty from Hartford. Well, no,
there were no there were no issues. The only thing,
which is a rather small thing, is the spelling is
(08:42):
not the greatest, and so it becomes a bit of
an issue. And we had some funny moments. We had
some funny moments because I just read off the call
screen who the next caller is, and sometimes we were
completely off. Sometimes it wasn't even close. There was one
caller who said on the call screen that said Pete
(09:05):
oh on the call screen, so I was like, all right,
let's go to Pete O. Pete, what's going on? You're
on the Ben Mather Show. And the guy it was,
his name was Tito, so you know, but hey, that's fine.
But I don't think that was any It's not it's
not anything to get all worked up all that.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
It's crazy though. I didn't realize that Lee to Lap
graduated from saddleback.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
No, I actually think he went to cal State Northridge
or something like that. I don't know which is which
is lower than Saddleback. I think where did he Where
did he go to school?
Speaker 1 (09:36):
I don't even know. I have no idea. I think
he's a valley guy.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
Reggie from Detroit writes and says, Ben and Danny you
mentioned Ben you had a visitor to the show who
threatened you over a photo? Can you give us more
information on that? Says Reggie love the show, thank you
on the podcast. Boo, Yeah, there's really nothing to that.
There was a visitor that we had add to the studio,
(10:02):
was very cordial, very nice visit, and there was a
photo taken. There's a saying that no good deed goes unpunished.
So I attempted to spread some goodwill. I attempted to
be Benny brightside Reggie and was sent several threatening messages
demanding that the photo be deleted. There was threats of
(10:25):
government intervention that were mentioned. It was really ridiculous, but
it was just an overreaction and all of that has
been worked out.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
That person is not invited back to the studio ever.
Speaker 4 (10:37):
Again, these are the actions you should have taken. Back
in the day when Eddie Garcia took that really horrible
photo of you upstairs where the bright light was shining
on top of your dome.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
No one will ever compare Eddie Garcia to Ansel Adams ever,
my God. But yeah, so that was it, Reggie mean,
there was just a little incident and got really blown
out of proportion. Is very just disappointing that that happened.
I was very upset by that. But we move on,
and I, you know, lesson learned, lesson learned, and that's that.
(11:08):
Kevin and Kansas, right, since thisys dinner Ben and Danny
g one of the one of radio's best segments is
Math of the Third Degree, which Ben should win every
time if I were judging, God bless you.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Kevin.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
Does your prowess at responding under pressure come from your
parents grilling you when you were younger?
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Uh?
Speaker 3 (11:24):
And as adults, have you had any head to resort
to being the third degree interrogator very often?
Speaker 1 (11:31):
Any?
Speaker 4 (11:31):
Wait, wait, wait, I'm sorry I was going to say,
I thought we already established Coop writes the questions and
the answers.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
Yes, and everything is done by Coop, And I just
smoke a lot of weed, eat a lot of food,
and watch movies and then just show up when I want.
That's usually the dynamic of the show. But he was
asking you, Danny, Now, you're your child, your your son,
very still a young man, you know, baby, so you
don't really have to beat He doesn't look like a baby.
(12:00):
He's the size of a man. But you know, it's
like Roger Rabbit or whatever, the kid.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Remember we get the cigar in his mouth, but there's
an old movie anyway.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
Anyway, Yeah, Kevin's asking if you have to interrogate your
kid there at all, but probably not yet. What's the
worst thing Co is into at this point, probably, you know,
taking extra cookies or something.
Speaker 4 (12:21):
He's a pretty well behaved kid. He he's at the
age though, where when he can't grab something that catches
his eye because he'll just see something random on a counter,
Like yesterday, there were a pair of scissors on the
counter and he looked at him and he said mine, mine, mine,
reaching his arm out and I said no, no, no,
those aren't yours. And he's like, yeah, dad, mine. I'm like, no, bro,
(12:45):
you're not gonna hold scissors. They're not yours. So that's
really it. At this age. He wants what he wants,
and if I don't give it to him immediately, he's
gonna let me hear about it. But I put my
foot down because obviously I'm not gonna let this kid
run around with scissors until he's at least three years.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Old, maybe three and a half. You might even have
to wait till three and a half on that for sure.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
As he is the incredible hulk, Boat rides in and says, Hey,
Ben and Danny, what do you guys have planned for
Mother's Day? Which is, by the way, today, Today's right,
Today's Mother's Day.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
Yeah, you're reminding me and a lot of people right now,
because it's not the first thing I thought of when
I woke up either. But as as soon as Brenda
wakes up, I'm gonna be like, oh, yeah, it's Mother's Day.
I better go to the garage and get her gift out.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
Oh you have it hidden? Is it embargaining?
Speaker 4 (13:35):
I always hide my gifts downstairs in the garage, and
I put like a blanket on top of the gifts,
and I'm like, hey, nobody's gonna go through my garage stuff.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
Yeah, that's a smart move, But you've just announced too.
If she happens to stumble onto this, you've just announced
where you're hiding place is so thus ruining the situation.
But my gift to my wife is that I will be.
I was going to a wedding life last night. That
was its wedding weekend. So that's that's the gift. My
(14:05):
presence at a family wedding for her.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
Family is the gift. How was the conga line? Did
you take my advice?
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Yeah, I hit the.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
Open bar, That's what I as soon as the open
bar ended the timer. Now you know my position on this, Danny.
What do I always say at social events? I say
social events are like Broadway shows or Vegas shows, ninety minutes,
ninety minutes.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
That is the time.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
You go to a Vegas show, they're all ninety minutes.
You go to a Broadway show ninety minutes, it's forty
five minutes or so, maybe a fifteen minute intermission and
then another forty five so it's the total time, say
two hours, but the actual show is ninety minutes.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
That's it.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
Ninety minutes of content. And I feel like these appearances.
You go to a wedding, bar, mits, for birthday party,
any kind of party ninety minutes.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
That's it.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
In say hello, don't even say goodbye, dode the Irish goodbye.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
Just where did Ben go? I don't know where did
Danny g go? I don't know where Danny g is.
That's it.
Speaker 4 (15:06):
Well, when we go over our lifelogs next Saturday, I'm
sure you'll have a couple of stories to tell us.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Uh yeah, definitely, definitely will. What's next year?
Speaker 4 (15:16):
Yo yo ma?
Speaker 3 (15:17):
Ben is some Barry in South Carolina. Met Barry at
the Charleston Meet and greet.
Speaker 4 (15:22):
Hey, yo Berry, living in the life.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
He says, hey, hey, yo yo ma, Benny. I love
the Fifth Hour with Mike North. That guy is just
so upfront and uncensored.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
I loved it. Oh, there's no question.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
I used to listen to North and Furman during the
early morning weekdays.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
One day I woke up.
Speaker 4 (15:41):
I used to produce that show, remember I do.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
One day I woke up early, turned on the radio
in preparation for their show, and I heard this guy
that was on the radio before their show, Ben Maller,
and I said, this is a guy I need to
listen to regularly. Been downloading your podcasts ever since. So
this goes back seven or eight years from Barry, so
thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Very much, Barry.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
It is an odd deal on the overnight show because
that last hour, the five am hour, is early morning
drive on the East Coast. There's a lot of people
that get to jump on the traffic and they'll get
up ridiculously early, get in the car about like five thirty,
so they'll hear the end of the show and picked
(16:26):
up a lot of listeners because of that. And we've
also done very well in Boston recently because of blind Scott. Well,
I don't know if it's just blind Scott, but we've
become a talking point Danny on the Morning show in Boston,
which is the number one morning show in all of
(16:46):
Boston radio.
Speaker 4 (16:47):
Is it like a gag? It's like a Is it
like a bit?
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Well, it started because blind Scott kept mentioning Fred Toucher,
who's the host. It's Toucher and Hardy in the morning,
and so Scott would mentioned Fred Toucher, and it got
to the point where I ended up. I ended up
being a guest on there in the Morning Show in Boston,
and we've been picking up a pretty good numbers in Boston.
(17:11):
We always have done pretty well there, but it's gotten
even better now because people are like, hey, what's what
is this show? Everyone's why are they talking about this
stupid overnight show? And then some people have gone over
to listen to it, so it's it's actually worked out
pretty well. But thanks Berry for listening, and uh look
at that. And Mike North. I love when when I
brought up Jonas Knox with Mike North on the Pie,
(17:32):
He's like, oh, yeah, Jones does a good show. We
had a better show.
Speaker 4 (17:35):
I did yeah with Douber stay no, no disrespect, but
our show was better, much better, And he was jacked
up about it.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
I'm jacked up about it. I know, I know. And
remember North also was upset.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
He was still bitter because there was a battle we
had the company had with the satellite radio people where
the shows were off satellite radio for a couple of
years because of a dispute.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
I don't know all the details, but it was it
was corporate bull crap app and we ended up getting
caught in the middle of it, and North still remembers
he's still.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
Upset about it.
Speaker 4 (18:13):
Do you know that there was one morning where Andy
Furman couldn't make it to the show. So it was
Mike North by himself. Oh boy, now Mike with a
co host or you know, a team of people on
the air, amazing radio. Mike North by himself, he didn't
know what to do. He was reading baseball box scores
(18:36):
on the air. It was it was, it was awkward.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Yeah, well he's a playoff.
Speaker 4 (18:44):
Other people got exactly That's what I was saying. Yeah,
he needs somebody to interject with him. Uh, you know,
it's kind of kind of like you. Ever since Eddie
got whacked, you've been on your own and your ratings
have been cutting half.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
That's clearly what thing that.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
This just triggered a memory and it's it's hilarious. And
only a few of us know about this. But Stephen A.
Smith was a columnist in Philadelphia when I first became
aware of him, and one of his first jobs in
radio was on Fox Sports Radio.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Steven A.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
Smith hosted a Saturday morning show with John Ireland, who
is now the play by play voice of the Lakers.
Speaker 4 (19:25):
Wow, I didn't know that.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Yeah, they did a show together in the early days
of Fox Sports Radio, and so I was doing updates
at that time. This is in the early early days
and I was doing like an overnight show on the weekend,
studied updates, and so John was the at that time,
John was the TV sideline reporter for the Lakers, and
so the Lakers often play on Friday.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
There's certain days.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
Of the week that these NBA teams play, and the
Lakers often play on Friday night, and John would do
the sidelines and they were I don't even remember where
they were. However, John's could not the plane did not
make it back in time. He could not do the show.
There was a travel delay late the team plane and
there was something wrong with it for another plane anyway,
(20:14):
So Steven A had to do the show by himself.
And if you ever wanted to know what it sounds
like when a man is drowning on radio, Stephen A.
Smith attempting to do a radio show by himself in
probably two thousand five, two thousand and six, wow.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Something lines, Oh my god.
Speaker 4 (20:37):
They Well he learned from it because then later he
would go on to do his own what midday show
for ESPN Radio where mostly he had guests on the phone,
but he mostly spoke by himself.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Yeah, and that show's highly produced and all that.
Speaker 4 (20:51):
But it's very true. But this was him like not
being ready for that.
Speaker 3 (20:56):
I guess this is him kind of like the North Store,
he went in a dooming John was going to be
with him, like he went in there, assuming John was
going to be his co host and he was going
to play off John. John would be the facilitator and
then he would Steve and A would just have to
hammer dunket and the point guard wasn't.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
There, and it was.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
You just triggered that memory because it's it's I still
flash back to that considering where we are today and
Stephen A is making tons of money and doing very well.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
Good for him, And oh wait till Steve and A
finds out you were talking about him.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
You don't want to make an enemy out of me.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
You do not want to make an enemy.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
Out of me. He'll become the president and then I'll
end up in the in the Who's Galon'll be It'll
be all over.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Mike, and Fullerton writes in on the mail bag.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
He says, hey, Ben and Danny Gay, I want you
to answer the question that has been taking the Internet
by storm. Who do you think would win a fight
a hundred gorillas or one? Ben maller Ike says Ben Mallord.
But I'd like to hear what you guys think. I'll
take your comment off the year, all right.
Speaker 4 (22:01):
My variation of this thing that's been going around social
media for a couple of weeks. Could one hundred Robin
Venturas beat one Nolan Ryan?
Speaker 3 (22:11):
No, no, no, Nolan Ryan.
Speaker 4 (22:15):
Could one hundred Don Zimmers beat Pedro?
Speaker 3 (22:19):
Mmmm?
Speaker 1 (22:20):
No, I don't like pop By the Sailor man.
Speaker 4 (22:26):
He was his bald head was kind of like a
rhino though.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
Yeah, they Don's been gone for a while. But don Zimmer,
can you ever imagine being like a young guy? Like no,
you know, it's like there shouldn't people in our lives
you look at you always think of them as old guys.
Speaker 4 (22:41):
Yeah, Like George Burns was old our entire life. That lady,
the one that played Maud on Golden Girls, she was
always old. You're right. There's certain actors and actresses where
we knew him as little kids as being old, and
then they were old the entire time we saw them
on TV. It was really weird because obviously back in
(23:02):
the eighties in early nineties, premature agent because these ladies
would do like you know, Grandma here, not color not
take care of and men too didn't take care of
themselves the way they do now, So you could look
seventy and fly. Nowadays you look seventy and close to
your grave. Back in the eighties and nineties.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
Yeah, there are photos of athletes that have gone viral
recently of people as like the college football players that
looked like they were in their fifties and they were
playing at Penn State.
Speaker 4 (23:30):
No, yeah, it was so weird. And John Travolta was
like thirty and he played a high school student. Do
you watch a college football game on YouTube and those
guys look like they were forty years old?
Speaker 1 (23:44):
It's so odd, it is it is?
Speaker 4 (23:46):
Oh, George Foreman another one, like he looked old even
when he was young.
Speaker 3 (23:51):
Yeah, no, for sure, for sure, but there are some advantages,
like I use a baseball Analogye, Sparky Anderson as a guy,
and he's been dead for a while too, But Sparky
looked old when he was we were kids, and these
you know, he obviously state, but you look.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Old only Yeah, people think he stopped aging.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
Let's see Mike from Pittsburgh, right, since says hey, Ben
and Danny h is there any team in all of
sports more embarrassing than my Pittsburgh Pirates. I want to
get your thoughts on what has happened and.
Speaker 4 (24:20):
Uh with that security guard?
Speaker 3 (24:23):
Well yeah, and in knowing that, let's go through the
hits of the Pirates this year. We actually I mentioned
this on the monologue the other the day, but the
Pirates since opening day, they had the Roberto Clemente sign.
Remember the Clemente sign that they took down to put
an alcohol advertisement up that that was not good. It
was supposed to be forever tribute. Clemente's family ripped the team.
They had the ceremonial bricks that were sent to a
(24:47):
recycling center. Remember the fans had paid like fifty bucks
or whatever to have the family name, you know, their
dead parents on the brick.
Speaker 4 (24:53):
I didn't even hear about that one. Then then the
guy fall and or jump and fall and break his neck.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
Yeah, and then the security guard that took the belt off.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
Oh, they had come over here for your whooping. It's
hard to top the Pirates. The team blows on the field.
It's really fire their manager this week. That's pretty embarrassing.
The teams one one halfway decent player on the teammate
like one and a half players. You got Paul Skins
one other guy, and the other other players are terrible.
(25:26):
That's a that's not good. I don't know who would
be second. Yeah, I have to do some research on that.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
I don't off the top of my head.
Speaker 4 (25:33):
And this all started last season when the Pirates made
that generous offer to whoever pulled that special Paul Skiings
baseball card. Oh yeah, and it happened to be an
eleven year old from Los Angeles who's a Dodgers fan.
Are the little kids like I don't want your damn
season tickets?
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Who goofed?
Speaker 3 (25:52):
I've got to know I will give you a Dodger
tickets maybe, all right? Kwang rights in from Ho Chi, Min, Vietnam.
He says, Benandanny G. Holmes dot com marketing campaign uses
the slogan Holmes dot com is the best in various
creative ways, even though I couldn't legally say it directly,
(26:12):
Please explain.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Yeah, so it's a play on words.
Speaker 4 (26:16):
Yeah, they do it kind of tongue in cheek.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
Yeah, again, I've studied this. You can do your own
research and you can come back and throw it at me.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
All you want.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
But I've over the years study the verbiage and the
term best is often considered puffery, and if you make
a very specific claim, if you say something's better or
the greatest, that becomes problematic. Generally speaking, there have been
some exceptions, I want to clarify. There have been some
(26:49):
exceptions where things have gone to court. But for the
most part, if you say I've got the world's greatest
HOGI or I've got the world's greatest pizza, are not greatest,
I mean world's best pizzaorld's best HOGI, then you're okay.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (27:03):
And I got to mention when I write descriptions for
Covino and Riches podcast in our podcast on the weekend,
you have affected me for years because I would say, oh,
it's you know, whatever, best, even best of. I feel
weird typing that as a title because I write instead
the greatest moments from this past week. I take the
(27:24):
word best and I usually replace it with greatest. Because
of Ben Maller.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
Honored that I'm in the back of your head somewhere
somewhere like how the Lakers live in your head.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
I don't know what you're talking about now. They don't
live in the playoffs.
Speaker 3 (27:40):
I know that Rod from Arizona rights and says, hey,
Ben and Danny, is this why we have not had
many calls from Jed who fled recently? And he says
a Florida man became the first person this year to
be gored by a bison at Yellowstone. Okay, I don't know.
I mean, I don't think that was Jed. But how
(28:02):
do you end up getting gored by a bison? By
the way, aren't you supposed to stand in your car?
Speaker 4 (28:08):
Yeah? But I've been to Yellowstone a couple of times,
and the tourists do not follow directions very well.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
There, you have been to Yellowstone? Is it worth the trip?
Speaker 3 (28:16):
Is it?
Speaker 4 (28:17):
It really is? Yeah, it's very beautiful, but it's monkey
see monkey do. You'll see one tourist get out of
their vehicle, and then cars will all pull off the
side of the road, thinking, oh, why are they out
there with their camera? There must be a grizzly or
something worth taking a photo of, and they all follow
what they think is some exciting action from the car
(28:37):
in front of them.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
All right.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
Next up, Jeff in Indianapolis. I didn't get to Yellowstone
at some point. I would like to go there. Jeff
from Indianapolis, right, since says they've been And Danny a
woman here in Ohio.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
He's in Indiana. Don't see here in Ohio.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
A woman from Ohio was arrested after a raccoon was
found with a medpipe.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
Police stop.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
How many of your listeners do you think have raccoons
as pets as Jeff? How the hell would I know?
I don't think raccoons are legal in moosth states. I
guess in Ohio you're allowed to have raccoons as pets.
How did that get through, by the way, that you
can have a raccoon as a pet?
Speaker 1 (29:11):
How did they?
Speaker 3 (29:12):
How did the guardians of Ohio decide that's a good idea,
let's have that raccoons?
Speaker 1 (29:18):
Why not? I did see the clip.
Speaker 3 (29:20):
I'm sure you guys fight talked about it on Cavino
and Rich. But it's not every day you see a
raccoon with a crackpipe that is not a normal or
a meth pipe or whatever.
Speaker 4 (29:28):
It's not not every day that you see I think
you're forgetting that. I did radio in Stockton, California for
five years.
Speaker 3 (29:34):
Hello, birthplace of meth All right, late night drug tester? Right,
since says Ben, just wondering will Danny G be using
fifth hour advertiser fishingbooker dot com for his yearly fishing
derby trip.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
Danny big advertiser.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
We love Fishingbooker dot com a great advertiser.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Hey, listen, you guys, can you.
Speaker 3 (29:54):
Can bust our balls about fishingbooker dot com Late night
drug tester. But if you're in the fish business, okay,
if you go out on the weekends, you don't a
fishing that is a crucial tool to have in your
back pocket.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
Am I wrong? I don't believe I am No.
Speaker 4 (30:10):
I heard you do that, read live on your overnight show.
And I smile when you read that, because I think
to myself, you know, even if I used that service,
I still would catch zero fish at Bass Lake. That's
just been the trend there for whatever reason. I've told
you my theory. I think they only have a couple
of fish in there, and they have some paid actors
with an igloo filled with ice and fish, and then they,
(30:33):
you know, go around the lake an opportunity to fake
out the customers. They pull the fish up the spade
person and they show you that they caught a fish,
but they didn't really catch that fish there, Ben, I'm
telling you right now. So because of that, I boycotted
the derby last weekend.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Wow, oh you did? You just did? Stayed away.
Speaker 4 (30:52):
I stayed away because what's the point. There's no fish
in there. The real people on the lake we've spoken to.
We talked to a guy last year who said he
went to ten straight derbies never even got a nibble.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
That's not right.
Speaker 4 (31:05):
And he said at other lakes he would catch four
to five fish in one trip. So it wasn't like
he was some bum who couldn't just fish. No, this
is a guy. He had all the gear. You could
tell he was a veteran fisherman, and he told us
ten years in a row he didn't catch anything. So
I'm not the only one with this theory.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
You always turned to cheating. That's been done.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
As you said, you'd always go there, Alf writesin says,
once again from the ask Ben recycle, Ben, have you
guys ever had birch beer?
Speaker 1 (31:36):
If so, what's your opinion?
Speaker 3 (31:37):
If not, I'm looking forward to introducing Ben to it
on his next trip to the Bay State. I'm not
very well traveled, so I'm not sure if it's a
regional thing or not, says I've never heard of birch beer, Danny,
have you ever had birch beer?
Speaker 1 (31:52):
Have you ever heard of that? I've never heard of it. No,
I don't know anything about it.
Speaker 3 (31:56):
So i'll ALF everything fingers crossed. Everything goes well, the
TV show will be back. I'll meet Alf and I'll
meet Mike the Leprechaun and all those characters at the.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
Big meet and greet, which we're planning tenantively.
Speaker 3 (32:11):
Again, it's depending on the TV show coming back, but
I'll be in the TV show comes back. I'll be
in in Boston and drive up to Worcester to a
wo Socks game, and we'll make that happen really quick.
Speaker 4 (32:24):
What is your drink? What is your alcohol of choice?
Speaker 3 (32:27):
Yes, I don't drink too much, but I love the
root beer beer because there's high alcohol content and taste
like root beer, and you can get completely schnockered on
that stuff.
Speaker 4 (32:37):
So you are a party animal. You're like, man, let's
split a picture of root beer at not your father's
root beer. They should be an advertiser of the show.
All right, I think we'll get out on that, Danny.
Speaker 3 (32:51):
I'll be back I will be back tonight intomorrow eleven
o'clock in the west here on Sunday on this Mother's Day,
and then two am in the East on Monday morning.
But again, you know, I don't think there's a lot
of moms that are listening to the show. But we
take care of your mom.
Speaker 4 (33:07):
Well yeah, well you have your mom.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
Because moms don't last forever, So take care of.
Speaker 4 (33:12):
And your wife if she had a kid for you.
That's my mission today, once I get done producing this
fine podcast. In fact, I got these in the mail
the other day Shutterfly, because so many of our pictures
are digital in our phones. You know, yeah, there's the
cloud and everything, but what if something happened to your phone,
what if not everything was backed up in the cloud,
(33:34):
you lose those photos. So we don't have physical pictures anymore,
the way physical music copies of music are missing nowadays.
So Ben I had two hundred and thirty pictures printed
out of big baby Koa and family events and trips
and things like that, and then I got a baby,
(33:55):
a nice leather bound baby book and a family picture book.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
Nice solid.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
I actually did think about if the Internet vanished, like
if something happened somehow, and all the social media went away,
and the World Wide Web ceased to exist, and we
had to go back to the market to get the
encyclopedias every month. Remember that, Danny, oh at the grocery
store and all that stuff.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
Now you just go on the internet.
Speaker 3 (34:21):
But if all that went away, like so many people
do not have copies of anything, like, so much of
society would fall back thirty years just in the blink
of an eye. And it it does make you make
you think. So that's a that's a solid move to
have physical copies made.
Speaker 4 (34:39):
And we'd have to start memorizing people's phone numbers again.
Speaker 3 (34:44):
I forbid no God to bring back information.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
You'd have to have to bring back the time.
Speaker 4 (34:51):
The time at the tone will be popcorn and movie phone.
We'd have to call movie phone again. If you know the.
Speaker 1 (34:58):
Name of the movie, you'd like to press one. Hoobifodday.
Here the movie eaes today at the Edwards Theaters. All right,
we'll get out. I have a wonderful Sunday. And hey,
thanks for sporting the podcast. Well, Danny, you'll be on
with Covino and Rich this week.
Speaker 4 (35:14):
Yeah, Monday through Friday, usual hours, So that is on
the West side two to four pm and on the
East coast in beautiful Philadelphia five to seven pm.
Speaker 3 (35:24):
All right, and we'll all talk to you on the radio,
and then we'll form Voltron next weekend with new pods.
Speaker 1 (35:30):
How about that, unbelievable. We'll talk to you then.
Speaker 4 (35:32):
Can't wait. Austa pasta, got a murder. I gotta go.
Kabooms.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow, it's the clearinghouse
of hot takes. Break free for something special. The Fifth
(00:24):
Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
In the air everywhere.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben Mahler and Danny g
Radio A Happy Sunday to you.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
It is the eleventh day of May.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
We are recording this podcast live on tape, Live on tape.
Speaker 4 (00:48):
I told you Madison Square Garden was going to be
rocking yesterday. The Knicks probably wanted a better outcome.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Yeah yeah, yeah, Well you spend that kind of money,
I guess you got. You know, I go out and
have a good.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Time, loser. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Well, here's the thing about the New York Nick fan, Danny.
People talk about the cowboy fan, and they talk about
how the cowboy fan has an elitism and all that
the New York Nick fan to be in Midtown Manhattan,
the Mecca, and that Nick franchise now.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Maybe this will be the year.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
Maybe they'll end up figuring things out against the Celtics
and all that.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
That's a maybe I've been I'm getting old, Danny.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
The Knicks have not won a championship while I've been alive, Okay,
and I've been around for a while, they have been.
Speaker 4 (01:35):
Now you're to the age where you're limping around like
Willis Reid.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
I guess I'm having my Willis Reid moll But but
but it's it's wild the new and not listen, we
have I have family from New York. I'm one of
my cousins we had on here is a Knicks fan
a few weeks back. And I have other cousins that
are Knicks fans and whatnot. But the arrogance of the
Knick fan is wild, considering all the resources they have
(02:00):
in New York, and they are just so blah so often,
and but hey.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
You know, here we are. They're they're feeling good about
themselves and they're celebrating having a great time. And we'll
see if they actually end up beating the Celtics here
early they end up screwing this thing up.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
I mean, this feels like probably their best chance since
Carmelo Anthony, who that was sarcasm.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Yeah, I remember when they got mellow.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
I was on the air when the trade happened, when
the Nicks got mellow from the Nuggets, and a lot
of people forget they actually had a ticker tape parade
through the Hero of Canyons before he had even played
a game.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
He got he was.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
It was like he was in the popemobile going down
there midtown Manhattan.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Uh and uh and just having a great time.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
So we have the mail bag, Ohio, Al, we'll get
it started properly.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
So Ohioow, you know what to do.
Speaker 5 (02:50):
It's all right, all right, let's get into it here.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
These are actual questions by actual listeners. If you'd like
to send a message to the mail bag for next week,
send it care of Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
That's Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
The first letter of the weekend comes from Dave in
New Hampshire. Dave does not say where he is from
in New Hampshire, but one of my favorite cities to
visit is in New Hampshire. Portsmith, New Hampshire, which is
a small pretty much just a tourist town between Maine
and Boston. And it is awesome because I've only been
(03:43):
there when the weather's good. I'm sure it probably sucks
most of the year when the weather's bad, but it
is amazing in the summertime. One of the great places
I've been to Portsmouth, New Hampshire. So, Dave, I don't
know if you're from there. Obviously not. You didn't say
you just said from New Hampshire. There's only a couple
of cities in New Hampshire, so maybe you are. Anyway,
Dave says, this is the pod on I semi regular basis.
He said, Ben, I heard you talk about this in
(04:03):
a show a while back. Did you know this was coming?
How do you feel about it? He then sent a
link Danny to a story from and we see. NBC
Sports announced with the return of the NBA, they will
be having Jim Fagan beat the voiceover guy.
Speaker 4 (04:22):
I saw this.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
He died in twenty seventeen, AI generated voice announcer. They
say it's because of nostalgia. So he died at age
seventy two and twenty seventeen, which means he would have
been what like eighty I guess this year. And he's
going to be part of the coach he was the
guy that did the voiceover stuff back in the in
the nineties for NBC.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Dave.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
I did not know about this. I nobody told me
about this particular story. I think I can say what
I mean. I know I have the TV show We
Hope Comes Back, which is on NBC Sports, But.
Speaker 4 (04:57):
I don't wait say it right Ben your keV, Well, I.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Don't like it.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
How about that your TV shows on wa an NBC yes, WC.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
No, I don't.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
I don't like it. I listen, this guy had a
great run.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
And I know they're claiming nostalgia and all that, and
it's fun and cool.
Speaker 4 (05:19):
Now does his family get paid?
Speaker 3 (05:23):
I don't know about that. I mean, this guy did that.
He did it from ninety nineteen ninety to twenty oh
two for twelve years. He was the voice of the
NBA for the Jordan years and.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
All that. I mean.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
I know they're bringing back round Ball Rock from John Tesh,
so that that'll be back, but John Tesh is still
still alive, so the way the story goes here Jim.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Jim's daughters provided a statement.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
They said, we're deeply grateful that NBC Sports had the
vision to honor our father's legacy and such a meetingful.
It took great pride in his work, all that stuff.
I don't see where he where the family's getting any
money out of it. But but here's my but, whether
you're getting paid or not, Danny, I think the whole
point is we all have our time. Somebody else should
(06:18):
become the next Jim, you know, Jim Fagan.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Somebody else should have the opportunity to have that job.
Speaker 4 (06:24):
And so that's their voice blocking, their voice blocking the
next voiceover generation.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Yeah, I mean there's the next wave. You know.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
We all have our time, and you know, hopefully it
goes on for a long time, but at some point
we need to have a different distinguished voiceover.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
I don't think the Malord militia is gonna agree with you, though,
if Heaven forbid anything happened to you down the road,
I think the militia is gonna scream and and call
our bosses. Scott Chaparro will probably still be running things,
and he'll throw a big party when he replaces you.
But then he'll then record scratch moment because he's gonna
(07:03):
have to do Ben mallor Ai and he'll have to
type it out in program it to where or maybe Coop,
because Coop does a lot of your writing now, so.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Yes, many of the monologues.
Speaker 4 (07:14):
Yes, so I'm sure Coop could just write out what
he wants your voice to say.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
Yeah, it's funny because I Coople. He'll write the monologues
and I'll just have like dinner and watch movies and stuff,
and I'll roll into the studio. Sometimes they even show
up after the show starts and he'll just hand me
the copy because he's been working all day on the
show writing the monologues.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
And I said, well, that's great, Coop, thanks for putting
the work in there.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
Through the heck is justin Cooper?
Speaker 1 (07:37):
I don't know, but I.
Speaker 4 (07:42):
Want to mount it.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Yeah, And I technically have been replaced by AI. I
got let going nine.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
God that's a long time ago now, but got let
go and was replaced by a can of.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Soup, the Fox Sports soup replace me.
Speaker 4 (07:57):
So I'm on a steamer.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Okay, Well, yeah, I think there's websites you can get that.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
Smitty Smitty writes in from Hartford to we are dominating.
The first two emails from New Hampshire and Hartford, Connecticut.
We dominate the northeast anyway. Smitty from Hartford writes, is
Ben Danny, I listen as much as I can.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
Ben.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
I heard lead a Lap producing your show this week.
It sounded like you and him were having some issues
with the call screening. Can you let us pe ones
know what happened? Thank you, Smitty from Hartford. Well, no,
there were no there were no issues. The only thing,
which is a rather small thing, is the spelling is
(08:42):
not the greatest, and so it becomes a bit of
an issue. And we had some funny moments. We had
some funny moments because I just read off the call
screen who the next caller is, and sometimes we were
completely off. Sometimes it wasn't even close. There was one
caller who said on the call screen that said Pete
(09:05):
oh on the call screen, so I was like, all right,
let's go to Pete O. Pete, what's going on? You're
on the Ben Mather Show. And the guy it was,
his name was Tito, so you know, but hey, that's fine.
But I don't think that was any It's not it's
not anything to get all worked up all that.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
It's crazy though. I didn't realize that Lee to Lap
graduated from saddleback.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
No, I actually think he went to cal State Northridge
or something like that. I don't know which is which
is lower than Saddleback. I think where did he Where
did he go to school?
Speaker 1 (09:36):
I don't even know. I have no idea. I think
he's a valley guy.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
Reggie from Detroit writes and says, Ben and Danny you
mentioned Ben you had a visitor to the show who
threatened you over a photo? Can you give us more
information on that? Says Reggie love the show, thank you
on the podcast. Boo, Yeah, there's really nothing to that.
There was a visitor that we had add to the studio,
(10:02):
was very cordial, very nice visit, and there was a
photo taken. There's a saying that no good deed goes unpunished.
So I attempted to spread some goodwill. I attempted to
be Benny brightside Reggie and was sent several threatening messages
demanding that the photo be deleted. There was threats of
(10:25):
government intervention that were mentioned. It was really ridiculous, but
it was just an overreaction and all of that has
been worked out.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
That person is not invited back to the studio ever.
Speaker 4 (10:37):
Again, these are the actions you should have taken. Back
in the day when Eddie Garcia took that really horrible
photo of you upstairs where the bright light was shining
on top of your dome.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
No one will ever compare Eddie Garcia to Ansel Adams ever,
my God. But yeah, so that was it, Reggie mean,
there was just a little incident and got really blown
out of proportion. Is very just disappointing that that happened.
I was very upset by that. But we move on,
and I, you know, lesson learned, lesson learned, and that's that.
(11:08):
Kevin and Kansas, right, since thisys dinner Ben and Danny
g one of the one of radio's best segments is
Math of the Third Degree, which Ben should win every
time if I were judging, God bless you.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Kevin.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
Does your prowess at responding under pressure come from your
parents grilling you when you were younger?
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Uh?
Speaker 3 (11:24):
And as adults, have you had any head to resort
to being the third degree interrogator very often?
Speaker 1 (11:31):
Any?
Speaker 4 (11:31):
Wait, wait, wait, I'm sorry I was going to say,
I thought we already established Coop writes the questions and
the answers.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
Yes, and everything is done by Coop, And I just
smoke a lot of weed, eat a lot of food,
and watch movies and then just show up when I want.
That's usually the dynamic of the show. But he was
asking you, Danny, Now, you're your child, your your son,
very still a young man, you know, baby, so you
don't really have to beat He doesn't look like a baby.
(12:00):
He's the size of a man. But you know, it's
like Roger Rabbit or whatever, the kid.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Remember we get the cigar in his mouth, but there's
an old movie anyway.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
Anyway, Yeah, Kevin's asking if you have to interrogate your
kid there at all, but probably not yet. What's the
worst thing Co is into at this point, probably, you know,
taking extra cookies or something.
Speaker 4 (12:21):
He's a pretty well behaved kid. He he's at the
age though, where when he can't grab something that catches
his eye because he'll just see something random on a counter,
Like yesterday, there were a pair of scissors on the
counter and he looked at him and he said mine, mine, mine,
reaching his arm out and I said no, no, no,
those aren't yours. And he's like, yeah, dad, mine. I'm like, no, bro,
(12:45):
you're not gonna hold scissors. They're not yours. So that's
really it. At this age. He wants what he wants,
and if I don't give it to him immediately, he's
gonna let me hear about it. But I put my
foot down because obviously I'm not gonna let this kid
run around with scissors until he's at least three years.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Old, maybe three and a half. You might even have
to wait till three and a half on that for sure.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
As he is the incredible hulk, Boat rides in and says, Hey,
Ben and Danny, what do you guys have planned for
Mother's Day? Which is, by the way, today, Today's right,
Today's Mother's Day.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
Yeah, you're reminding me and a lot of people right now,
because it's not the first thing I thought of when
I woke up either. But as as soon as Brenda
wakes up, I'm gonna be like, oh, yeah, it's Mother's Day.
I better go to the garage and get her gift out.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
Oh you have it hidden? Is it embargaining?
Speaker 4 (13:35):
I always hide my gifts downstairs in the garage, and
I put like a blanket on top of the gifts,
and I'm like, hey, nobody's gonna go through my garage stuff.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
Yeah, that's a smart move, But you've just announced too.
If she happens to stumble onto this, you've just announced
where you're hiding place is so thus ruining the situation.
But my gift to my wife is that I will be.
I was going to a wedding life last night. That
was its wedding weekend. So that's that's the gift. My
(14:05):
presence at a family wedding for her.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
Family is the gift. How was the conga line? Did
you take my advice?
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Yeah, I hit the.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
Open bar, That's what I as soon as the open
bar ended the timer. Now you know my position on this, Danny.
What do I always say at social events? I say
social events are like Broadway shows or Vegas shows, ninety minutes,
ninety minutes.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
That is the time.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
You go to a Vegas show, they're all ninety minutes.
You go to a Broadway show ninety minutes, it's forty
five minutes or so, maybe a fifteen minute intermission and
then another forty five so it's the total time, say
two hours, but the actual show is ninety minutes.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
That's it.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
Ninety minutes of content. And I feel like these appearances.
You go to a wedding, bar, mits, for birthday party,
any kind of party ninety minutes.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
That's it.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
In say hello, don't even say goodbye, dode the Irish goodbye.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
Just where did Ben go? I don't know where did
Danny g go? I don't know where Danny g is.
That's it.
Speaker 4 (15:06):
Well, when we go over our lifelogs next Saturday, I'm
sure you'll have a couple of stories to tell us.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Uh yeah, definitely, definitely will. What's next year?
Speaker 4 (15:16):
Yo yo ma?
Speaker 3 (15:17):
Ben is some Barry in South Carolina. Met Barry at
the Charleston Meet and greet.
Speaker 4 (15:22):
Hey, yo Berry, living in the life.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
He says, hey, hey, yo yo ma, Benny. I love
the Fifth Hour with Mike North. That guy is just
so upfront and uncensored.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
I loved it. Oh, there's no question.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
I used to listen to North and Furman during the
early morning weekdays.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
One day I woke up.
Speaker 4 (15:41):
I used to produce that show, remember I do.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
One day I woke up early, turned on the radio
in preparation for their show, and I heard this guy
that was on the radio before their show, Ben Maller,
and I said, this is a guy I need to
listen to regularly. Been downloading your podcasts ever since. So
this goes back seven or eight years from Barry, so
thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Very much, Barry.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
It is an odd deal on the overnight show because
that last hour, the five am hour, is early morning
drive on the East Coast. There's a lot of people
that get to jump on the traffic and they'll get
up ridiculously early, get in the car about like five thirty,
so they'll hear the end of the show and picked
(16:26):
up a lot of listeners because of that. And we've
also done very well in Boston recently because of blind Scott. Well,
I don't know if it's just blind Scott, but we've
become a talking point Danny on the Morning show in Boston,
which is the number one morning show in all of
(16:46):
Boston radio.
Speaker 4 (16:47):
Is it like a gag? It's like a Is it
like a bit?
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Well, it started because blind Scott kept mentioning Fred Toucher,
who's the host. It's Toucher and Hardy in the morning,
and so Scott would mentioned Fred Toucher, and it got
to the point where I ended up. I ended up
being a guest on there in the Morning Show in Boston,
and we've been picking up a pretty good numbers in Boston.
(17:11):
We always have done pretty well there, but it's gotten
even better now because people are like, hey, what's what
is this show? Everyone's why are they talking about this
stupid overnight show? And then some people have gone over
to listen to it, so it's it's actually worked out
pretty well. But thanks Berry for listening, and uh look
at that. And Mike North. I love when when I
brought up Jonas Knox with Mike North on the Pie,
(17:32):
He's like, oh, yeah, Jones does a good show. We
had a better show.
Speaker 4 (17:35):
I did yeah with Douber stay no, no disrespect, but
our show was better, much better, And he was jacked
up about it.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
I'm jacked up about it. I know, I know. And
remember North also was upset.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
He was still bitter because there was a battle we
had the company had with the satellite radio people where
the shows were off satellite radio for a couple of
years because of a dispute.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
I don't know all the details, but it was it
was corporate bull crap app and we ended up getting
caught in the middle of it, and North still remembers
he's still.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
Upset about it.
Speaker 4 (18:13):
Do you know that there was one morning where Andy
Furman couldn't make it to the show. So it was
Mike North by himself. Oh boy, now Mike with a
co host or you know, a team of people on
the air, amazing radio. Mike North by himself, he didn't
know what to do. He was reading baseball box scores
(18:36):
on the air. It was it was, it was awkward.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Yeah, well he's a playoff.
Speaker 4 (18:44):
Other people got exactly That's what I was saying. Yeah,
he needs somebody to interject with him. Uh, you know,
it's kind of kind of like you. Ever since Eddie
got whacked, you've been on your own and your ratings
have been cutting half.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
That's clearly what thing that.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
This just triggered a memory and it's it's hilarious. And
only a few of us know about this. But Stephen A.
Smith was a columnist in Philadelphia when I first became
aware of him, and one of his first jobs in
radio was on Fox Sports Radio.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Steven A.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
Smith hosted a Saturday morning show with John Ireland, who
is now the play by play voice of the Lakers.
Speaker 4 (19:25):
Wow, I didn't know that.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Yeah, they did a show together in the early days
of Fox Sports Radio, and so I was doing updates
at that time. This is in the early early days
and I was doing like an overnight show on the weekend,
studied updates, and so John was the at that time,
John was the TV sideline reporter for the Lakers, and
so the Lakers often play on Friday.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
There's certain days.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
Of the week that these NBA teams play, and the
Lakers often play on Friday night, and John would do
the sidelines and they were I don't even remember where
they were. However, John's could not the plane did not
make it back in time. He could not do the show.
There was a travel delay late the team plane and
there was something wrong with it for another plane anyway,
(20:14):
So Steven A had to do the show by himself.
And if you ever wanted to know what it sounds
like when a man is drowning on radio, Stephen A.
Smith attempting to do a radio show by himself in
probably two thousand five, two thousand and six, wow.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Something lines, Oh my god.
Speaker 4 (20:37):
They Well he learned from it because then later he
would go on to do his own what midday show
for ESPN Radio where mostly he had guests on the phone,
but he mostly spoke by himself.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Yeah, and that show's highly produced and all that.
Speaker 4 (20:51):
But it's very true. But this was him like not
being ready for that.
Speaker 3 (20:56):
I guess this is him kind of like the North Store,
he went in a dooming John was going to be
with him, like he went in there, assuming John was
going to be his co host and he was going
to play off John. John would be the facilitator and
then he would Steve and A would just have to
hammer dunket and the point guard wasn't.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
There, and it was.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
You just triggered that memory because it's it's I still
flash back to that considering where we are today and
Stephen A is making tons of money and doing very well.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
Good for him, And oh wait till Steve and A
finds out you were talking about him.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
You don't want to make an enemy out of me.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
You do not want to make an enemy.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
Out of me. He'll become the president and then I'll
end up in the in the Who's Galon'll be It'll
be all over.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Mike, and Fullerton writes in on the mail bag.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
He says, hey, Ben and Danny Gay, I want you
to answer the question that has been taking the Internet
by storm. Who do you think would win a fight
a hundred gorillas or one? Ben maller Ike says Ben Mallord.
But I'd like to hear what you guys think. I'll
take your comment off the year, all right.
Speaker 4 (22:01):
My variation of this thing that's been going around social
media for a couple of weeks. Could one hundred Robin
Venturas beat one Nolan Ryan?
Speaker 3 (22:11):
No, no, no, Nolan Ryan.
Speaker 4 (22:15):
Could one hundred Don Zimmers beat Pedro?
Speaker 3 (22:19):
Mmmm?
Speaker 1 (22:20):
No, I don't like pop By the Sailor man.
Speaker 4 (22:26):
He was his bald head was kind of like a
rhino though.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
Yeah, they Don's been gone for a while. But don Zimmer,
can you ever imagine being like a young guy? Like no,
you know, it's like there shouldn't people in our lives
you look at you always think of them as old guys.
Speaker 4 (22:41):
Yeah, Like George Burns was old our entire life. That lady,
the one that played Maud on Golden Girls, she was
always old. You're right. There's certain actors and actresses where
we knew him as little kids as being old, and
then they were old the entire time we saw them
on TV. It was really weird because obviously back in
(23:02):
the eighties in early nineties, premature agent because these ladies
would do like you know, Grandma here, not color not
take care of and men too didn't take care of
themselves the way they do now, So you could look
seventy and fly. Nowadays you look seventy and close to
your grave. Back in the eighties and nineties.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
Yeah, there are photos of athletes that have gone viral
recently of people as like the college football players that
looked like they were in their fifties and they were
playing at Penn State.
Speaker 4 (23:30):
No, yeah, it was so weird. And John Travolta was
like thirty and he played a high school student. Do
you watch a college football game on YouTube and those
guys look like they were forty years old?
Speaker 1 (23:44):
It's so odd, it is it is?
Speaker 4 (23:46):
Oh, George Foreman another one, like he looked old even
when he was young.
Speaker 3 (23:51):
Yeah, no, for sure, for sure, but there are some advantages,
like I use a baseball Analogye, Sparky Anderson as a guy,
and he's been dead for a while too, But Sparky
looked old when he was we were kids, and these
you know, he obviously state, but you look.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Old only Yeah, people think he stopped aging.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
Let's see Mike from Pittsburgh, right, since says hey, Ben
and Danny h is there any team in all of
sports more embarrassing than my Pittsburgh Pirates. I want to
get your thoughts on what has happened and.
Speaker 4 (24:20):
Uh with that security guard?
Speaker 3 (24:23):
Well yeah, and in knowing that, let's go through the
hits of the Pirates this year. We actually I mentioned
this on the monologue the other the day, but the
Pirates since opening day, they had the Roberto Clemente sign.
Remember the Clemente sign that they took down to put
an alcohol advertisement up that that was not good. It
was supposed to be forever tribute. Clemente's family ripped the team.
They had the ceremonial bricks that were sent to a
(24:47):
recycling center. Remember the fans had paid like fifty bucks
or whatever to have the family name, you know, their
dead parents on the brick.
Speaker 4 (24:53):
I didn't even hear about that one. Then then the
guy fall and or jump and fall and break his neck.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
Yeah, and then the security guard that took the belt off.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
Oh, they had come over here for your whooping. It's
hard to top the Pirates. The team blows on the field.
It's really fire their manager this week. That's pretty embarrassing.
The teams one one halfway decent player on the teammate
like one and a half players. You got Paul Skins
one other guy, and the other other players are terrible.
(25:26):
That's a that's not good. I don't know who would
be second. Yeah, I have to do some research on that.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
I don't off the top of my head.
Speaker 4 (25:33):
And this all started last season when the Pirates made
that generous offer to whoever pulled that special Paul Skiings
baseball card. Oh yeah, and it happened to be an
eleven year old from Los Angeles who's a Dodgers fan.
Are the little kids like I don't want your damn
season tickets?
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Who goofed?
Speaker 3 (25:52):
I've got to know I will give you a Dodger
tickets maybe, all right? Kwang rights in from Ho Chi, Min, Vietnam.
He says, Benandanny G. Holmes dot com marketing campaign uses
the slogan Holmes dot com is the best in various
creative ways, even though I couldn't legally say it directly,
(26:12):
Please explain.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Yeah, so it's a play on words.
Speaker 4 (26:16):
Yeah, they do it kind of tongue in cheek.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
Yeah, again, I've studied this. You can do your own
research and you can come back and throw it at me.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
All you want.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
But I've over the years study the verbiage and the
term best is often considered puffery, and if you make
a very specific claim, if you say something's better or
the greatest, that becomes problematic. Generally speaking, there have been
some exceptions, I want to clarify. There have been some
(26:49):
exceptions where things have gone to court. But for the
most part, if you say I've got the world's greatest
HOGI or I've got the world's greatest pizza, are not greatest,
I mean world's best pizzaorld's best HOGI, then you're okay.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (27:03):
And I got to mention when I write descriptions for
Covino and Riches podcast in our podcast on the weekend,
you have affected me for years because I would say, oh,
it's you know, whatever, best, even best of. I feel
weird typing that as a title because I write instead
the greatest moments from this past week. I take the
(27:24):
word best and I usually replace it with greatest. Because
of Ben Maller.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
Honored that I'm in the back of your head somewhere
somewhere like how the Lakers live in your head.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
I don't know what you're talking about now. They don't
live in the playoffs.
Speaker 3 (27:40):
I know that Rod from Arizona rights and says, hey,
Ben and Danny, is this why we have not had
many calls from Jed who fled recently? And he says
a Florida man became the first person this year to
be gored by a bison at Yellowstone. Okay, I don't know.
I mean, I don't think that was Jed. But how
(28:02):
do you end up getting gored by a bison? By
the way, aren't you supposed to stand in your car?
Speaker 4 (28:08):
Yeah? But I've been to Yellowstone a couple of times,
and the tourists do not follow directions very well.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
There, you have been to Yellowstone? Is it worth the trip?
Speaker 3 (28:16):
Is it?
Speaker 4 (28:17):
It really is? Yeah, it's very beautiful, but it's monkey
see monkey do. You'll see one tourist get out of
their vehicle, and then cars will all pull off the
side of the road, thinking, oh, why are they out
there with their camera? There must be a grizzly or
something worth taking a photo of, and they all follow
what they think is some exciting action from the car
(28:37):
in front of them.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
All right.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
Next up, Jeff in Indianapolis. I didn't get to Yellowstone
at some point. I would like to go there. Jeff
from Indianapolis, right, since says they've been And Danny a
woman here in Ohio.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
He's in Indiana. Don't see here in Ohio.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
A woman from Ohio was arrested after a raccoon was
found with a medpipe.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
Police stop.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
How many of your listeners do you think have raccoons
as pets as Jeff? How the hell would I know?
I don't think raccoons are legal in moosth states. I
guess in Ohio you're allowed to have raccoons as pets.
How did that get through, by the way, that you
can have a raccoon as a pet?
Speaker 1 (29:11):
How did they?
Speaker 3 (29:12):
How did the guardians of Ohio decide that's a good idea,
let's have that raccoons?
Speaker 1 (29:18):
Why not? I did see the clip.
Speaker 3 (29:20):
I'm sure you guys fight talked about it on Cavino
and Rich. But it's not every day you see a
raccoon with a crackpipe that is not a normal or
a meth pipe or whatever.
Speaker 4 (29:28):
It's not not every day that you see I think
you're forgetting that. I did radio in Stockton, California for
five years.
Speaker 3 (29:34):
Hello, birthplace of meth All right, late night drug tester? Right,
since says Ben, just wondering will Danny G be using
fifth hour advertiser fishingbooker dot com for his yearly fishing
derby trip.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
Danny big advertiser.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
We love Fishingbooker dot com a great advertiser.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Hey, listen, you guys, can you.
Speaker 3 (29:54):
Can bust our balls about fishingbooker dot com Late night
drug tester. But if you're in the fish business, okay,
if you go out on the weekends, you don't a
fishing that is a crucial tool to have in your
back pocket.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
Am I wrong? I don't believe I am No.
Speaker 4 (30:10):
I heard you do that, read live on your overnight show.
And I smile when you read that, because I think
to myself, you know, even if I used that service,
I still would catch zero fish at Bass Lake. That's
just been the trend there for whatever reason. I've told
you my theory. I think they only have a couple
of fish in there, and they have some paid actors
with an igloo filled with ice and fish, and then they,
(30:33):
you know, go around the lake an opportunity to fake
out the customers. They pull the fish up the spade
person and they show you that they caught a fish,
but they didn't really catch that fish there, Ben, I'm
telling you right now. So because of that, I boycotted
the derby last weekend.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Wow, oh you did? You just did? Stayed away.
Speaker 4 (30:52):
I stayed away because what's the point. There's no fish
in there. The real people on the lake we've spoken to.
We talked to a guy last year who said he
went to ten straight derbies never even got a nibble.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
That's not right.
Speaker 4 (31:05):
And he said at other lakes he would catch four
to five fish in one trip. So it wasn't like
he was some bum who couldn't just fish. No, this
is a guy. He had all the gear. You could
tell he was a veteran fisherman, and he told us
ten years in a row he didn't catch anything. So
I'm not the only one with this theory.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
You always turned to cheating. That's been done.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
As you said, you'd always go there, Alf writesin says,
once again from the ask Ben recycle, Ben, have you
guys ever had birch beer?
Speaker 1 (31:36):
If so, what's your opinion?
Speaker 3 (31:37):
If not, I'm looking forward to introducing Ben to it
on his next trip to the Bay State. I'm not
very well traveled, so I'm not sure if it's a
regional thing or not, says I've never heard of birch beer, Danny,
have you ever had birch beer?
Speaker 1 (31:52):
Have you ever heard of that? I've never heard of it. No,
I don't know anything about it.
Speaker 3 (31:56):
So i'll ALF everything fingers crossed. Everything goes well, the
TV show will be back. I'll meet Alf and I'll
meet Mike the Leprechaun and all those characters at the.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
Big meet and greet, which we're planning tenantively.
Speaker 3 (32:11):
Again, it's depending on the TV show coming back, but
I'll be in the TV show comes back. I'll be
in in Boston and drive up to Worcester to a
wo Socks game, and we'll make that happen really quick.
Speaker 4 (32:24):
What is your drink? What is your alcohol of choice?
Speaker 3 (32:27):
Yes, I don't drink too much, but I love the
root beer beer because there's high alcohol content and taste
like root beer, and you can get completely schnockered on
that stuff.
Speaker 4 (32:37):
So you are a party animal. You're like, man, let's
split a picture of root beer at not your father's
root beer. They should be an advertiser of the show.
All right, I think we'll get out on that, Danny.
Speaker 3 (32:51):
I'll be back I will be back tonight intomorrow eleven
o'clock in the west here on Sunday on this Mother's Day,
and then two am in the East on Monday morning.
But again, you know, I don't think there's a lot
of moms that are listening to the show. But we
take care of your mom.
Speaker 4 (33:07):
Well yeah, well you have your mom.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
Because moms don't last forever, So take care of.
Speaker 4 (33:12):
And your wife if she had a kid for you.
That's my mission today, once I get done producing this
fine podcast. In fact, I got these in the mail
the other day Shutterfly, because so many of our pictures
are digital in our phones. You know, yeah, there's the
cloud and everything, but what if something happened to your phone,
what if not everything was backed up in the cloud,
(33:34):
you lose those photos. So we don't have physical pictures anymore,
the way physical music copies of music are missing nowadays.
So Ben I had two hundred and thirty pictures printed
out of big baby Koa and family events and trips
and things like that, and then I got a baby,
(33:55):
a nice leather bound baby book and a family picture book.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
Nice solid.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
I actually did think about if the Internet vanished, like
if something happened somehow, and all the social media went away,
and the World Wide Web ceased to exist, and we
had to go back to the market to get the
encyclopedias every month. Remember that, Danny, oh at the grocery
store and all that stuff.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
Now you just go on the internet.
Speaker 3 (34:21):
But if all that went away, like so many people
do not have copies of anything, like, so much of
society would fall back thirty years just in the blink
of an eye. And it it does make you make
you think. So that's a that's a solid move to
have physical copies made.
Speaker 4 (34:39):
And we'd have to start memorizing people's phone numbers again.
Speaker 3 (34:44):
I forbid no God to bring back information.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
You'd have to have to bring back the time.
Speaker 4 (34:51):
The time at the tone will be popcorn and movie phone.
We'd have to call movie phone again. If you know the.
Speaker 1 (34:58):
Name of the movie, you'd like to press one. Hoobifodday.
Here the movie eaes today at the Edwards Theaters. All right,
we'll get out. I have a wonderful Sunday. And hey,
thanks for sporting the podcast. Well, Danny, you'll be on
with Covino and Rich this week.
Speaker 4 (35:14):
Yeah, Monday through Friday, usual hours, So that is on
the West side two to four pm and on the
East coast in beautiful Philadelphia five to seven pm.
Speaker 3 (35:24):
All right, and we'll all talk to you on the radio,
and then we'll form Voltron next weekend with new pods.
Speaker 1 (35:30):
How about that, unbelievable. We'll talk to you then.
Speaker 4 (35:32):
Can't wait. Austa pasta, got a murder. I gotta go.
Host
Ben Maller
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Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.