April 24, 2022 • 54 mins
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Ben Maller is in the podcast studio with Danny G. to have some fun with the mail bag, answering select P1 questions from the #MallerMilitia on this edition! Download, subscribe, and remember that sharing is caring (unless it's an STD.) Follow Danny G. @DannyGradio and Ben on Twitter @BenMaller and listen to the original terrestrial radio edition of "Ben Maller Show," Monday-Friday on Fox Sports Radio, 2a-6a ET, 11p-3a PT!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day dred minutes
a week was enough, I think again. He's the last
remnants of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness.
He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as
the rich pill poppers in the penthouse the Clearinghouse of
hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
(00:23):
with Ben Maller starts right now in the air everywhere
in a happy Sunday, another edition of The Fifth Hour
with Ben Mallard and Danny G. As we open up
the mail bag, watch out, watch out. There's a lot
(00:47):
of monsters in that mail back, Danny G. A lot
of monsters. But I'm excited. A ton of email. We
are flooded. The inbox is completely flooded. This is one
of those busy weeks, so we're gonna try to get
to as many people as we can't. Are you ready,
I'm ready. Let's do it all right, Right to the
mail bag. And if you want to send messages in
future shows, you can do this via Real Fifth Hour
(01:10):
at gmail dot com or on our Facebook page Ben
Mathers Show, Ben Mathers Show. You can send a question
and usually on Tuesdays, although some weeks depending on our
schedule and when we put all this together, we might
actually ask for questions earlier in the week, So monitor
follow that Facebook page Ben Maller Show, and you know
(01:34):
you might need to help us out early. Who knows,
but let's get into it. Music provided by our friend
Ohio All and yes we do. Terry and England writes
in from the UK. He says, apart from watching sport
(01:57):
for work, what other things that you interested in? Do
you use your leisure time? Both you Ben and Danny
ge Uh yeah, So I don't have too much leisure
time on the weekends. I was catching up with the
wife and things like that. I like going to the beach.
I've been doing that a lot lately, walking and getting
tar on my feet when I walk around the beach.
(02:18):
I like watching documentaries and I was just like love.
I love learning random fun factoids about not necessarily sports
but life in general. You know, why donuts have a
hole in them, things like that, just like weird, weird things.
Calm down on it Sunday morning. So I'm into that
kind of stuff. And yes, that's about it, not too deep.
(02:41):
Mostly watching sports and the free time I have just
kind of meditating and winding down and that whole thing.
What about you did? Yeah, my tender Ronny and I
we love long walks to the bagel shop. There's always
gotta be a destination at the end of the walk.
I'm yeah, I'd like to travel on the weekend if
(03:03):
I can. Got some radio shifts in there, so I
gotta be uh real creative with how I get out
of town. Um. But other than that, I read a
little bit. Like right now, I'm reading Call of the Wild,
which is a classic. Obviously read it in school, but
I'm rereading it right now as an adult. But I'm
like in a chapter where I remember having to be
(03:24):
tested on that chapter, and I'm like, man, I felt
so forced back then to read this. Now I'm reading
it for fun. What's going on? It's post traumatic stress
syndrome and all that at the PTSD. Yeah, I like
going on a little weekend trips to although he's pretty
much where we are. You gotta be in California. You
can't really leave California very Vegas. I guess you could do,
(03:46):
but I think you're the same as me. We try
to stay within an hour or two from where we live. Yeah,
usually right in that wheelhouse right around there. All right, Terry,
thank you for that. And who is is next here?
Let's see any meany mny MO come back. It's sign
(04:08):
from Meil. Call alright, this is from Neil in the
real Miami, he says, a big band Danny G Radio
Essential Workers Extraordinaire. I've been in Miami because I only
have so much time due to care for a little daughter.
What a game changer as you got a preview with
your niece there, Ben, and I've been keeping an eye
(04:31):
on our homestead or homeland rather in the Ukraine. Um,
but do not be alarmed. I have downloaded and played
all your podcast college Drinking Game Style and I am
all caught up. So you should see a spike in downloads. Yeah,
this guy, Neil Danny, he's got a penthouse condo in Miami.
(04:54):
You know that really cool part of Miami, right, all
those tall skyscrapers and then they've got the beach right
there in the He's right near the Miami Heat Arena.
It's pretty neat. He sent me photos of it. It's
pretty awesome, he says. The Friday shows are really good.
Yes to legend Lenny Dikestra back on the show. Well,
(05:14):
we've tried to get Lenny. Lenny, Lenny's not good at
getting back to us. Unfortunately, it's very busy man. Lenny
let me. He's dead to us right now. Yeah, yeah,
we we had booked Lenny and Lenny didn't do it. Uh,
He says. I also want to get that lovable narcissist
Gascon on the Friday show to catch up live on
his new adventures, and if not about Bruce Jacobs. I
(05:38):
recall that when I first started listening to Fox Sports
on x M late night driving from my tender Rowney's place,
I recall you, Neil says, you and him as my
favorite host, followed by John Freaky. There's another name I
haven't heard a long time. So if you Youtuo are
still good about it, well you'll be happy to know,
(05:59):
Neil that I have had Bruce on the podcast. I've
been on Bruce's local radio show in Phoenix. Bruce does
a morning drive show there and I've had him on
the podcast. He only been on once. We can have
Bruce on again. I'm not not a post dude. I
if there's something going on in Arizona Sports that's big.
Like if Kyler Murray gets traded, we can have him
(06:19):
on and I can goof on, I can goof on Bruce.
Or if the son's wind up getting upset. Yeah, yeah,
there you go, that would be good too. Uh And
he says, Uh, Danny Gee, come on, get the big
Donald t on the show. We love Big Ben. Big
Ben's in front of mine. Yeah. Well, your friends with Donald,
You've got his numbers, so I'm sure the former president
(06:40):
would be happy to come on. Uh. He says, you
should not have told the story because now we all
want you to pull that string. I'm sure Donald does
lots of podcasts. Uh. If you know, if you know him,
he'll do it. He does do something. Although I guess
you did an interview this week. They didn't go well,
(07:00):
but usually with people you know. I'll try I'll try
the number to see if it works, all right, says
Speaking of Friday shows, Neil says, I noticed that East
Coast hosts are raw and West Coast radio personalities are
more professional, like a finely groomed politician. I want a
(07:21):
mature guy. And you seem to have way more friends
in radio on the East Coast despite working in the
l A area. Is this true or just the story
I am telling myself. No, I don't think that's I
have a lot of friends. It's weird. I have their
casual friends Neil the radio. But I've been in the
business a while and I've always appreciated the guys that
(07:44):
are at the really good at top and I've been
fortunate enough to become friends with some of those guys
over the years. And I've done a lot of stuff
in Boston off and on over the years, so I've
got a lot of friends in Boston and working at
Fox Sports Radio, there's been a lot of turnover, shall
we say, over the years, and there's been a lot
of new faces that have come in and different people
(08:04):
that have passed through, and some I've worked with and
so become friends. And I think you'd agreed, Danny. Working
in radio, we all have the same stories from the battlefield,
we all have the same fish stories and whatnot, so
we have a common ground radio. It is interesting that
he's noticed some sort of difference between West Coast and
(08:27):
East Coast, because even before I started working at fs ARE,
one thing I liked about it was I would hear
you and Looney on the weekend, and I thought it
was cool that it originated out of the West, whereas
the other sports networks all came out of the East.
But yet there were talent on Fox that were from
the East. So it was a nice blend and that
(08:48):
nice West Coast kind of vibe to it. Yeah, that's
the East their owner. There's different styles, clearly, everyone's got
a different a different way of approaching it, uh, he says.
By the way, Neils says, as still waiting for the
Miami chapter of the Mallard Militia Meet and greet as
Mr Miami, I think this is the spotty named a
(09:09):
Butcher's Shop Beer Garden, he says, I need to check
out the menu. Well, listen, I you're not gonna have
to ask me twice, Neal, I would love to come
to Miami and hang out, uh, I says I think.
He says, I think you and the sidekick would love
the great area for talent as well. So I think
he's saying there's a lot of talent there, Danny first
round draft picks that could be out and about there
(09:31):
at the butcher Shop Beer Garden in Miami. So he's
talking about an upcoming NFL Draft. Well, it's it's a
version of the NFL draft. You know there's first round picks,
more like the NBA draft back in the day with
a lottery picks, first rounder, second rounder, undrafted free agent.
You know that there's different levels to this. Well, thank
(09:54):
you for that, Neil. A very lengthy email, but you
haven't written in a long time, so we thank you
for ending that along. I got mail, yea, I got mail. Yeah,
Kevin from Rockford Rights and he says, there has been
an interesting development. A mountain in Colorado is being renamed.
Formerly known as Mount Evans, the mountain is now named
(10:17):
Mount Blue Sky. The reason for the name changes apparently
Evans was a political politician who wasn't nice to Native Americas,
so he was canceled. Yeah that's nice here, ms. Mount
Blue Sky is right up there with guardians and commanders,
very generic. None of us in the mountain hiking colt
(10:40):
like the new name. So I think with the Mallard
malicious help, we can start a protest throughout the nation
to get the name changed to Mount Mallard. Kevin says
he is recommended that a fun fact about Mount Evans
is that there is a road that leads up to
the top. It's the highest paved road in the United States.
(11:04):
I like that you can drive all the way to
the top. Day. Uh, if the name changed to Mount Mallard,
we would build a restaurant at the top and name
it in the air. Everywhere, he says, there would be
the Mallard Burger, Mallard Pizza, etcetera, etcetera. Think of the possibility.
You're a marketing guy, Kevin, this guy Da, this guy Kevin,
and Rockford's a marketing guy. Yeah, don't forget a Mallard
(11:25):
bologney sandwich. That's not on the menu. That's that you're
making that up. We've had over the years. I've had
the mal Zone, had the mal Zone, which is a
col zone, but it's the Mallard brand, So it's the
mal Zone that was in Syracuse, that was the original
food dish. The Mallard chicken fingers in Kansas City, they've
been on the menu there for over a decade. And
in Denver you've got the Mallard chicken sandwich. Lawrence, Kansas
(11:49):
You've got the Mallard Fowler. So I'm covered, man, I'm
good to go on that. But I have not had it.
I have not had anything on a mountain, so that
would be wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. Pierre
from Springfield, Right, since it's Ben, does Fox Sports Radio,
I heart Slash Premiere Networks reimburse you for your internet
(12:13):
cost season? He says, If so, are there any plans
to add a secondary router connection prior to the football season?
If I recall correctly, those British baking shows take up
a lot of bandwidth and interfere with your sizzling hot
NFL game breakdowns during Benny versus the Penny? Are you
(12:35):
efforting another season of the aforementioned Benny Versus the Penny
sands the elitist? I have a feeling that Danny g
is more than qualified to spind the world famous Penny Well.
I have not thought about that yet, Pierre. As far
as what's gonna happen in the future, we did work
out the technical difficulties though. I had the great Jake
(12:56):
Warner engineer for the l A Clippers and the Kings,
and former Dodger engineer what is still wrong with the Clippers?
Jake came to the Mallard mansion, and he helped set
me up in the podcast studio. In fact, the mike
I'm on right now, Danny. I, when I tried to
do this before, it was a total ship show. It
(13:17):
was amateur our. It was Bozo the clown was the
whole thing there. And uh, it was like a magic
act because every few minutes I would vanish who Dany Yeah,
And it was like playing a video game. And this
is how it ended. But since then we were in
pretty good shape. And as far as the company, as
(13:38):
Danny was chuckling, they they generally do not pay for anything,
but they do. They do cover the broadcast connection. I was,
but I'm not allowed to use it olther than for
the show. So so it's one of those weird things.
It's hardwired. It's an internet connection, but it's it's hardwired
into my studio set up here, so I can't use
(14:00):
it for WiFi or anything like that. I can only
use it for the show because it has to be
dedicated for the show. And so, not to get into
too deep, how they make the hot dogs. But I
have my own internet connection. I don't use that for
for WiFi. So, uh, there is that on the and
and Pierre, see if you can contact your your buddies
(14:21):
at the Portland's Pickles. I'm they sent me a message
on Twitter, maybe doing something I don't know. I don't
even know a lot of the time that it's a
minor league baseball team in Portland. It's actually an Oregon
but Pierre's in Massachusetts. But they were talking about having
me come out and throw out the first pitch. You
might have to go up there too, Danny. You go
off your pickle juice. Well, let me tell you something.
(14:43):
You saw me throw gas at that minor league game.
I could I could do that again. Next up, Watch Out,
Watch Out, Clear the deck. Helen and Stu from Palmetado Bay, Florida.
I wonder what this is gonna be about, it, says
(15:06):
Ben and Danny Gee Italian Happy Sunday, one week closer
to Ben's well deserved vacation. We'll think we will have
a podcast that we will have podcasts all throughout, so
the podcast will still be up. The content will be
a little different for some of the podcast, right, Danny,
But we'll have uh, you know, new stuff. Wait you
(15:27):
we're out of here. It'll be a little mixture of
best of the live show, Best of the Podcast. I
promise it will be entertaining. Yeah, Helen says, boys, pull
up a chair, you're gonna want a seat at this
sport sports mailbag table. We're talking base ball. Uh. And
(15:50):
Helen says, Ben, when you are inducted in the National
Sports Broadcasters Hall of Fame, will thank you and it
will only happen in your dreams Helen, it will be
your perfect l a Dodgers almost perfect game. Screw you,
Roberts and Kershaw monologue that will be referenced. As baseball
purists and longtime Yankees fans, we argue that a perfect game,
(16:15):
or no hitter for that matter, is the ultimate team victory.
It's often a diving catch in the outfield, a great
double play, or a throw at home plate throws out
a runner and home plate that preserves perfection. Uh. Yeah,
I understand what you're saying, Like a great defensive play
and all that, and that is a solid point. I
(16:39):
still can't get over Clayton Kershaw and his nonsense Danny
where he said it would have been selfish to try
to pitch a perfect game. One of the dumbest things
ever said by an athlete. It's it's it's it's serious.
I mean, I'm not a Kershaw hater, but that's that's embarrassing.
I'm still mad about the rich Hill perfect game getting ruined. Yeah,
(17:01):
that's right, anyway, Helen says, speaking of baseball and sticky substances,
here we go, then you get ready, here we go.
Get that. I knew it was coming. Yeah, I was like, Wow,
that was a nice email right there. But he speaking
to baseball and sticky substances. Does Tammy and Montana to
(17:24):
improve her grip use Pine Tar when she's pleasuring the
roster of the Montana state baseball team. Wow, that is wrong.
That's not right there, You anyway says let's not stop there, Ben,
there is one main reason why the Anaheim Angels should
not provide or should now provide you. Now provide you
(17:46):
a press pass so you can Will smith Bach slap
manager Joe Madden for becoming the first manager to order
an intentional walk with the bases loaded while trailing in
a game since almost forever. He angered Mike Trout and
us too. Helen writes in, Yeah, that's that's bizarro. That's
(18:10):
a little too much thinking going on there. But it
did work out. Didn't Angels win that game? I think
they did, right, didn't they win that game? I think
that he said he did it to fire up his club. Yeah,
I'm sure that's the reason. Anyway, the message continues. But wait,
there's more. Ben. We may be fluent in sarcasm and
with but at our family corps were never quit competitors.
(18:34):
Our kids can defend themselves against bullying kids and now adults.
We love motto a mono sports showdowns. Our guy can
beat your guy. You get the point, which is why
we've always hated the intentional walk baseball strategy. R ass
(18:55):
Helen writes, in today's game, you don't even get four
wide ones. I know that's that was something they changed
a couple years ago. And every once in a while,
as I remember Danny, when they were doing the intentional walk,
every once in a while, pitch would go sailing over
the catcher's head. Yeah. I can't have that anymore. Yeah,
or you'd have a batter reach out his bat and ball.
(19:17):
Vladimir Guerrero, the original says Ben inclosing, what better way
for you to get back at the Angels for not
granting you Fox Sports Radio Press pass Then by nationally
launching and promoting the new Joe Madden Rule, and she says,
make an intentional walk count for two bases. Co sponsored
(19:38):
by the Fifth Hour with Danny G Radio. What do
you say far above the Mendoza line? Helen and Stu
in Palmetto Bay, Florida. Does everyone know what the Mendoza
line is? Still? That's like an old reference. You think
everyone knows what that means? The Mendoza line. There was
a player named Mario Mendoza in the eighties. I think
(20:00):
it was I remember seventies, eighties, and he was a
horrible hitter and he always hit around two hundred. So
the Mendoza line is above or below two d see,
I knew that. I didn't even know it was named
after a player. I didn't know where that was from. Yeah,
I learned something new on this podcast every week. There
(20:23):
you go. It's usually not anything that's gonna help me
in life, but it's still something I learned. No, I
don't think you can possibly monetize Mario Mendoza. I don't
think you can do that. But he played in the seventies.
In the early eighties, I thought he played for the Angels.
We actually played for the Pirates, the Mariners, and the Rangers.
(20:47):
His career batting average to fifteen was his career batting average.
He batted uh, let's see, I'll give you some fun
factions at eight to eighteen one again. And and he
also his his big year was with the Seattle Mariners
(21:09):
in eighty He bat at two forty five. So this
guy had nine years in the big leagues. Danny nine
years in the big leagues and bat at two fifteen,
played in seven almost seven hundred games. If you're him,
every time he heard somebody say that phrase, piste off.
(21:29):
I don't know if he had a good sense of
humor about it. But he's still alive. He's still around.
He's seventy one years old according to the Internet. Wow,
so he's living above the Mendoza line. Yeah, yeah, he's
He's above the Mendoza line for sure. Alright. The mail
bag does not end at one after another. The mail
mail bag questions continue here and let's see. Oh. Tammy
(21:57):
in Montana writes in here we go, Hello boys, Hey Ben,
since Helen kisses your ass so much, maybe she could
advertise her business on the podcast Helen's Whorehouse. Tammy writes,
I give the gift that keeps giving. Wow, Tammy says,
let Helen, who bragged about being a great cook, know
(22:21):
that if her roast is bouncing off the floor, it's
because her dinner guests are trying to get rid of
it because it's inedible. Helen attacking Eddie's work and her
Haskins joke show her abominable character. And yes, Helen, I
know hot dogs like your husband Stu knows big black holes. Wow,
(22:47):
oh man, it's signed Tammy in Montana. Boy, those two.
What kind of peace treaty would it take to get
these two to hold hands and sing a song together?
I gotta tell you this, Tammy and Monton. How many
years has this been going on on the podcast? This
(23:08):
is only a podcast be if it's been going on. So,
I don't know how many years I've been doing the
podcast now, it seems like it seems like it's been
a while. Yeah, it's it's wild Tammy and Montana like,
she's very sweet, nice, helps out a lot of fans
of the show and gives back and all that. And
were you with me when she got into the octagon
(23:28):
with Genie and Medford, Yeah, that was one of the
wildest nights. Genie tapped out and my Peach Cobbler lives. Yeah.
We all said this is gonna be no contest, this
is domination. It was a bigger upset than when the
US hockey team beat the Russian hockey team in the Olympics.
(23:51):
Genie famously said, you're mean. Yes, tapped out Genie, who
was a little snapping turtle and would tech anyone. But
Tammy and Montana was able to come in there like
gangbusters and and win the fight. It was wild, all right.
Email continues Barry in Nashville rights and says, Yo, Yo, Ma,
(24:13):
Benny for you and Danny g you have to pick
one of these parachute out of an airplane or go
hot air Balloony? Which one are you taking? All right?
So I'll go first. Yeah, I'm gonna go hot air Ballooney.
I've done that before when I was a kid, not
(24:33):
by myself, I had grown ups with me. I was
with a group of people. But I do hot air Balloony.
I can handle that. The parachuting out of an airplane
thing seems like a good idea, But I've seen too
many stories on the internet about the shoot not opening
up to cause me pause on that. What about you,
(24:53):
Danny hot air balloon sounds too safe. I like adrenaline.
That's why I have fifty seven tattoos. Okay, um, So
I guess I would jump. I would be a little
nervous about the parachute, but I would just you know,
do a triple check on it, make sure it was
all good and that it was a reputable company taking
(25:15):
me up in the air. But I think that would
be fun. Yeah, it would be fun. Or it would
be uh, or it would be god chuckling as you
hit the ground at eight hundred miles per hour. You
definitely leave your mark on the way out. You definitely
leave your mark on the way out, that is for sure.
(25:37):
Tim Wrightson says, who on your show has the most victories?
Who has chosen the most the team up with? Says
him about the Game Shows. So I am the on
the Cy Young of the Game Shows. To him, I
have the I'm the all time wins king when it
comes to the Game Shows, no one's come closed. You're
also the all time loser. You have the most losses
as well as fine. Cy Young as the most losses
(25:58):
is considered the greatest pitcher of ball time. I don't
care about that. Cy Young of the game shows, all right,
uh former heismoner from USC he killed two people cut
their heads off. No, you idiot, all right, past I
(26:20):
I've been chosen quite off. In Eddie's second, usually it's
me and Eddie. I'd say Coop is third. The weed
heads love Coop, like the weed crowd. It's a badge
of honor in the weed community to play a game
show and have Coop. Hey, now, it's a big deal. Danny,
(26:43):
it's a it's a big deal. And then after that,
after they get done with Coop, it's a Roberto. Did
Coop work on the national holiday for He did? Shockingly enough,
he did in And I think my theory on that
is it's very similar to New Year's Eve, you know,
(27:07):
like the professional the professional drinker doesn't really go out
on New Year's Eve because it's just another night. It's
it's amateur night. Like in the week community. I think
for twenty if you smoke weed every day, two joints,
you know, to the morning and night, and you're like,
when it comes down to it, you're like, oh my god,
who the hell cash for tourists? Yeah, it's like you
(27:29):
go to New Orleans and you want to see Bourbon
Street and all that. But if you live in New Orleans,
you don't, you know, go if you live in Vegas,
the Strip, it's a it's a nuisance to go down
there because you have strippers all the time. That special. Yeah,
it's sex, drugs and rock and roll twenty four hours
a day, the whole thing. They're so exactly. You've got
(27:52):
mail next up, a lot of a lot of questions.
We gotta keep the train moving here. Rick says, Ben
your hatred of ranch dressing, I don't understand. I bet
your Lizzo likes ranch dressing. Well, I don't disagree that
Lizzo probably likes ranch dressing, which is another reason Rick
to despise ranch dressing. If Lizzo likes it, I'm going
(28:14):
the other way ranch dressing. I'll be very kind. You
can like what you like. I don't like it. I
know it's the devil's blood and I'm not gonna drink
the devil's blood. And if you want to do that, congratulations, Yeah,
knock yourself out. But I say, okay, that's it, Okay,
that's right, alright, let's see your boy. Matthew Stafford would
(28:36):
disagree with you. I saw him at a restaurant in
Thousand Oaks, Band and he had a big side of
ranch dressing right in the center of the table. How
do you know it wasn't blue cheese. Might have been
blue cheese, which is an evil cousin of ranch dress.
Blue cheese is nasty. You can smell that from a
block away. Yeah, well so so is ranch. Get that
(29:00):
dragon breath after you have that ranch dressing. No, it
is not. It's disgusting, it's horrible. It's cheap, it's crappy,
and people have most standards that like fransch dressing. Get
some Costco pizza into ranch it will change your world.
Oh no, no, that's an amateur. You know, a good pizza,
a good pie does not really need ranch dressing. That's
(29:20):
like a Midwestern thing they do that. I got a
buddy in Kansas City tells me, Oh yeah, they put
ranch dressing everywhere. It's terrible. And anyway, John and Northern
Colorado writes in he says, have you ever returned home
from an evening out only discover that your fly was
unzipped for hours? Uh? Yeah, and of course that's happened.
(29:45):
It does take, but you're embarrassed when it happens. The
worst for me worse than that, because you figure not
everyone's looking at your junk, your twigging berries there, so
they might not notice. But the thing that really pisces
me off, and it's happened a few times over the years,
when you go to the power her room, Danny, and
you walk out and you realize that you've been walking
around and you have a piece of toilet paper that's
(30:07):
on the back of your shoe. Oh, that's bad. I
have one worse for you though. Back when I was
deejaying in clubs, you know, it's pretty dark inside there,
so you can't see everything perfectly. Well, I had a
new shirt that I was wearing and it had one
of those stupid long clear stickers on it that said
the size. Oh no, it was on the back of
(30:29):
the shirt. I didn't know it was there. And a
girl came up to me towards the end of the
night and she's like, what you're trying to show off
that you're extra large. That's a great pickup line by her.
That's a solid pickup line by the lady. Huh yeah,
And I was like, what are you talking about oh
and then yeah, but then she continued to laugh with
her friends as I peeled the stupid sticker off my shirt. Yeah. Yeah,
(30:54):
well she didn't give you did break the ice, but yeah,
I felt really stupid. Have you noticed though, some of
those young kids these days to energy them young kids, Uh,
they'll like baseball has to leave the tags on the
hats now. Uh, that's like a thing. You leave the
tags on the hats now and you want to Yeah,
(31:14):
that reflector, the circle reflector, you leave that on the
inside of your brim. Yeah. That's been going on for
twenty years. Now, twenty years that's been going on camera.
Are you sure you're not that guy. I'll trust me
you're not that guy. Next up on the mail bag,
these are actual letters by actual listeners to the show
(31:37):
that have contacted us. All right. Next up, Dan I
says Russia is threatening nuclear war, so I'm sorry we
are going to have to cancel the elections for this fall.
Is Joe Biden going to use this election since they
know they are going to lose big? I feel like
this was for Clay Travis Danny, not for me, but
(32:00):
talk Uh, I'd like to think that's not going to
happen there, Dan, but a lot of things that have
taken place in the last few years, I thought, there's
no way that's going to happen, and tell they've happened.
So I like to believe that we will have everything
(32:20):
the way it should be. And uh, we're we're done
with a lot of the nonsense. Um, but stay tuned,
stay tuned. There's always another one thing I've learned over
my life here, there's always another boogeyman that politicians use
to scarely electorate. And that's really the key. And it's
not just one side of the it's all sides of
(32:42):
the eye. It's all about that power. Danny. You gotta
have a bad guy. For years, remember Middle Eastern terrorism
and how big a deal that was, and uh, people
very upset about terrorist and the Middle East and that
was a big deal. Well they've pivoted away from that.
Then it was the COVID stuff and now now it's Russia.
(33:03):
So we've moved. There's always got to be something in
southern California. There's been no spike or anything since people
took the masks off. Well, that's the most maddening thing
is you look at the data. I know one talks
about trust the science, and I wanna get off of
them the third rail on my own, the third rail.
But this is something that's really pissed me off the
last couple year. So they always said, well, you wear
(33:24):
the mask and all that. But if you look at
the data and you've seen this, Danny, take that for data.
There is no tangible difference between places that war masks
and places that didn't wear masks is zero different almost
no difference. Uh. We're talking about something that's airborne that
(33:44):
can get into your eyeballs. So that's the problem here
is that the mask. I mean maybe it helped somewhat,
but it sure didn't do what people thought it was
gonna do at the start of all. Well, no, because
people people aren't wearing surgical mask. They're wearing their diapers
or whatever they're wearing. In the breath that you breathe out,
(34:06):
you're getting air in and out and in and out.
It's uh, I don't need to go down that road.
But but thank you Dan for hijacking the show for
that section of the show. Wow. Scott from Northern Kentucky
rights and he says Ben and Danny giving the podcast well,
that's a good start there, Like it's loving the podcast
(34:30):
what Danny g has brought to it. I also grew
up in rialto Danny. Oh nice, he says, when did
you guys lose your virginity? Wow, that's a personal question. Uh.
And before marriage or full time Tinderoni time, did either
of you ever hook up with a listener or a groupie?
Perhaps that's the beginning question. Well, we've talked about this before, Danny.
(34:53):
It's a rite of passage. It's like a bar mitzvah
in radio. It's you're coming out part in radio when
you uh enjoy some special time with a list Would
that be accurate? Depending on the size of the radio station,
you could argue that everybody's a listener if it's a
(35:14):
good ratio. I mean, I had a program director that
used to say that. He's like, look, we're rated number one.
Everybody's a listener. And he used to tell us that's
why you got to treat everybody with respect. You guys
can date as many girls as you want, but you
better respect them and you better treat them good. And
the breakup better not be messy, because I don't want
(35:35):
to deal with any of it. Yeah, that sound advice. Now,
I've always worked in sports radio, so I have a
much more difficult road. Then you worked in music radio,
and I I experienced music radio. I worked at Kiss
AM Kiss FM, the top forty station in l A.
I worked just down the hall, and I was buddies
(35:56):
with the dj We were, but like the nighttime guys,
and they're big stars in radio now. In l A radio,
Valentine was doing an evening show. He's now he's been
the morning guy at one oh four point three forever,
but I knew him. He was a night guy and
Joe Joe on the radio. I think last I heard
he was still at Kiss FM. Yeah he does afternoons
(36:17):
now he's afternoon drive, but he was doing the overnight show.
I'd go hang out with those guys. Those were my guys,
and I saw, you know, and I'm not saying they,
you know, did this, but the the amount of attention
that was given to the DJs over not just them,
the some of the weekend guys that was buddies with
my goodness, unbelievable. I could write a book with the
(36:41):
things that I've seen in my adult life and my
teenage life, because that's when I started in radio, although
I would not want my mom or anyone in my
family to read the book or know anything about what
I saw. We would go to a radio convention and
everybody couldn't wait for the deaf Jam cruise because there
was a big boat deaf Jam rented out and it
(37:02):
was the Sodom and Gomorra basically, and the big the
big joke was the next day nobody was on the boat.
You'd say, were you at the def Jam party? And
they'd say, what deaf Jam party. It's like the love boat,
the Vikings love boat. Back on the great NFL controversies
(37:22):
of our time, Scott says, also Tammy said the same
thing I was thinking about. The racist Hillbillies. Scott and
Northern con says racist Hillbillies, Helen and Stu thinking Golden
Corral was a fine dining establishment. Gilbert was a funny comedian.
No need to add the jew part and the tasteless
(37:42):
joke about Haskins death. Put your hoods on and hide
in your trailer. F Altuve and Korea and the entire
Strows franchise, and f Helen and Stu the racist Hillbillies
signs Scott from northern Kentucky. Alright, Scott, thank you for that.
(38:06):
Next up on the mail bag, these are actual letters
sending by actual listeners to the show. I got mail, yea,
I got mail yea. Angelina writes in says, Hi, Ben,
I enjoy all three of the weekend podcast. And I
heard that you are asking about suggestions for other types
(38:27):
of cookies. And she she sent me a recipe or Danny,
uh And she said, I didn't hear this one mentioned.
Have you heard of monster cookies? They're so good? And
she gave me the recipe here below, and she says,
I think your five year old niece would love them. Okay,
So I have the recipe, Angelina, And there's a lot
(38:48):
of ingredients series stuff I don't use all the time.
So I am I'm excited about since it makes about
a dozen and a half cookies. But they're monster cookies.
What's in it, uh man, is like you've got some
peanut butter in here. There's all all kinds of Let
me let me give you the run. You want the
full rundown here? You want the full cookie? No, you
(39:10):
don't want Thank you for the recipe. I'm gonna I'm
gonna trust if I get poisoned, Angelina, I'm gonna I'm
gonna remember you so and she says, I like Sir
Scratchhops calls. I hope that opinion doesn't annoy you and
the guys too much. But then two days later, after
she said this email Danny, two days later she wrote
back says, I heard Sir Scratchops call this morning. I'm
(39:31):
going to have to rethink what I typed about his
calls in my last email. It's a Jerry West like retraction.
That's uh, that is outstanding. Thank you for that, Angelina,
And who is next to her Actual messages from actual
(39:52):
listeners to the show. Trucker Joe from Strasburg, Pennsylvania says,
if the show had a Mount Rushmore, here we go
Mount Rushmore of drunk or drugged up callers who you're
putting on it. Also, what happened with the moonshine sent
you and the crew a few years ago? Are you
(40:13):
giving it to the Tomahawk? Are you giving it the
Tomahawk steak treatment? No? I I have the Moonshine. It's
part of the party. I have a bunch of alcohol
that I pull out for parties. You've seen that Danny
alcohol and it's on the it's on the tray. So
we haven't had a party in a couple of years
because of the COVID, but we are planning this year
(40:36):
all all willing, health willing and everything being okay. We're
planning on having the Ugly Sweater party or some kind
of holiday party this year. So Danny should probably leave
your house right now. You might make it where I
live compared to where you live. You might make it
by the time the party comes around. Those parties are epic.
I'll be on the road. Yeah, So I have that,
and I know I don't know Mount Rushmore. I don't
(40:58):
new Mount Rushmore, Strucker Joe. That's cliche, evergreen, lazy stuff.
But I will tell you that the callers that stand
out beer drinking Brian who just passed away, Genie and
Medford who passed away, Jimmy Ray from Tampa Bay who
passed um. There was another guy, Mark Moonshine. Mark. I
(41:18):
think he's also dead. They're all dead. Oh I didn't
know he was dead. Yeah. Yeah, these guys all passed away.
They all died of alcohol too. That's like, that's like
full commitment to the booze. And every one of them.
Danny handed got every one of them, were like, hey,
you know you should cut back. They were so far
(41:38):
gone by the time they found our show. There was
nothing they could do as beer drinking. Brian pointed out,
he was so his body was so used to alcohol
it was like blood to him. He needed it. He
couldn't get off the alcohol. Wait wait, wait, maybe we
uh man, take care of your health, militia. You only
(41:59):
get one body as far as we know, so you
might want to take care of it. You might want
to think I'm just I'm just saying so. Uh let's
see who else? Do we have a page? Dan here? Page?
I got mail? Yeah? I got mail? Yeah? Mr Mark right,
since says why does Ben yell over anyone who does
(42:20):
not agree with him? Getting worse as time goes by,
and Marcela is a complete fake Ben, He is making
an ass out of all you guys. All right, So Mark,
first of all, I yell because that's how I do things.
If you don't like it, there's a mute button you
(42:41):
can press that there. Wow, I don't yell all the
time now. Secondly, as far as Marcelle, you could not
be more wrong. You could not be more wrong. I
know things about Marcell that nobody else knows about Marcella.
I've spoken to Uncle Dynamite. I have talked Uncle Dynamite.
I did not actually plan on talking to Uncle Dynamite,
but Danny Marcel told me to give him a call.
(43:02):
I remember, Yeah, So he gave me his number. So
I called him up right after the show, before the
roosters were up. I was filling in for your live
show that week. Yeah, and Uncle Dynamite answer the phone
and I was like, oh crap. And so then I
had a conversation. So Marcell has got a lot of issues,
but it trust me, it's not an act. Not an act.
(43:24):
And he doesn't get paid that much per week. Yeah,
pretty good deal for us. He's on pay roll. Yeah,
but he's real exactly. The paid caller doesn't mean he's
an actor. And for the rest of that Mark, shut
the funk up. Okay, shut the fuck up, stop yelling
at me. Next up on the mail bag, Brian from Burlington, Ontario,
(43:49):
are one of our Canadian friends, says Blue Jays and
Dodges are on a collision course for the world series
which stacked lineup. We'll put up more runs this year
hashtag Jay's fanboard. Mhmm. Yeah, So the Blue Jays are
off to a little bit of a slow start here.
The Dodgers have gotten things going after that bad weekend
(44:11):
in Denver. The Mets fans are screaming that they're going
to be in the world. What about the Mets? What
about the Mets? And the Mets are off to a
good start. They got a legit manager and Buck show
Walter Dodgers Mets in the NLCS. That's happened. We've seen
that over the years, Danny a few times. Yeah, and
(44:32):
I love the Blue Jays. That the weird thing, And
I'm not sucking up to your Brian. When I was
a kid, the Blue Jays were a bit of a
mystery because they weren't on TV, and I grew up
in the Stone Age, Like the only time I saw
the Blue Jays was when they would play the Angels,
or if it was this weekend Baseball's twib notes. Yeah,
(44:56):
around the majors. The Blue Jays flying high in Toronto,
and they played at that football stadium, exhibition stadium in Toronto.
When I was a kid, the whole thing there was
like you didn't know a lot about him, and they
had a cool kind of logo and you're like, that's
kind of neat, that's that's different. And remember Jose Conseco
and Mark McGuire hitting those moon shots there in Toronto.
(45:19):
Oh yeah, well I was at the new stadium I'm
talking about, even before that football stadium, which I believe
is where Dave Winfield killed a bird and got arrested.
He hit a bird warming up in the outfield when
he was playing for the Yankees, and the police in
Canada sighted him after the game. So hey, I'll sign
up right now. I'll take Blue Jays Dodgers in the world. Serious,
(45:41):
sign me up for that. I love watching Vladimir Guerrero
Junior play. I'm not gonna like him much against the Dodgers,
but he's good and and I just I love the
fact that Blue Jays are going for Toronto is going
for the Dodgers are going for the Mets are going
for it, and and seeing teams like the Pirates and
the the Reds and the Orioles and the As that
don't give a crap about trying to win. It's nice.
(46:03):
I want to see teams go for it and have success,
all right, I'll do a couple more here on the
mail bag. Yes we do. Mike from Fullerton, Mike in Fullerton, right,
since is what animal are you the most afraid of?
For me, it's got to be the great white shark. Yeah,
I'm not that afraid of the great white shark, probably
(46:23):
because I don't really go in the ocean. When I
go to the ocean, I just walk. I put my
feet in the water and that's it. I like love.
I love to walk along the coast so much so
that I'll get tar on my feet. But I don't
actually go in the water. In California. I'm a I'm
a bit of a Mr. Softie. I only go in
like Hawaii because it's a lot warmer there, and so
(46:45):
I'll do the Hawaiian water, but not not in California.
I would say alligator. Okay, you know why. But here's
why we both agree on that we don't have that
here in California. U. Yeah, yeah, and he's just seeing alligators.
The two animals that I believe are really dinosaurs, even
(47:08):
though science tells us that it's just the chickens related
to the dinoso. But the the alligator and the komodo dragon. Yeah,
and I would argue a tortoise, Yeah, tourtus too. But
like to think we were living amongst these things which
I consider to be small dinosaurs. Fascinating. Yeah, because I
ever a kid loves dinosaurs and your little kid. No,
(47:30):
you're right. And if you're in the water and you
see a huge alligator or crocodile swimming towards you, like
I feel like a shark, I could punch it in
the nose super hard and at least maybe get away
with it just biting me, hopefully. But an alligator, if
it locks onto you and then does the that whole
(47:50):
stranglehold move it does, what do they do? The role
the death roll? Yeah, I'm not trying to be in
the water with an alligator or a crocodile. He claimed.
If you run in a zig zag form, you can
avoid an alligat because they can't run, they can't change directions, supposedly,
I've heard that. I don't know if that's but no,
(48:10):
it's great. I got a family lives in Florida. I
guess they're not. The gators aren't all over Florida. It's
like parts of Florida, right, They're not everywhere you know.
I've been to Miami, I've been in Orlando. Never saw
an alligator, at least I don't remember seeing an alligator
when I was there. I'm pretty sure I would have
remembered it. Let's see. Next up, Ja from Duluth. It's
(48:33):
sign from Call Jay says, this week I heard Austin
the truck driver call from Illinois saying his phone but dialed.
When you say, it's the Ben Maller Ship. And you
brought up that maybe beer drinking Brian is haunting his phone.
Did you consider that maybe Austin Hall's beer for a
(48:55):
living and it's possible that beer drinking Brian is in
his glo ory writing shotgun with a semi truck full
of beer. Rest in peace, Brian. That's funny. That's a
nice thought. That's a nice thought. That was hilarious. This
guy calls up Danny from from Illinois, Austin the truck Driver,
(49:15):
and he says, every time I say the Ben Mather Show,
he claims his phone will dial somewhere. Ah got you, boss? Yeah?
Who knew? Next up j C from Tennessee Rights and
he says, hey, Ben, in your line of work, have
you ever had any news or information that just left
you speechless for a few minutes while your brain has
(49:38):
to process what you you just learned. I had this
happen to me the other day while suffering, uh, the
great wide world of the Internet surfing rather so, he
said suffering, but he meant surfing, or maybe he meant suffering.
I stumbled upon some info that maybe questioned everything I
knew to be true, he says. We are all familiar
(49:59):
with John Denver's classic hit country road Take Me Home.
It starts like this, almost heaven, West Virginia, Blue Ridge Mountains,
Shenandoah Am. I saying that right, Shenandoah, Yeah, Shenandoah River.
Just like you and all your listeners. I always assumed
West Virginia, right, Yet he meant the state of West Virginia.
(50:20):
But a quick search of Google Maps you will see
neither the Blue Ridge Mountains or the Shenandoah River in
the state of West Virginia, but runs through Western Virginia. Yeah.
So I ask you, Ben, do you think John Denver
knew that the Blue Ridge Mountains and the Shenandoah River
was in Western Virginia or do you think it did
(50:44):
he think it was West Virginia. I myself, j C
says have pondered upon uh, pondered upon it. And I
think Lloyd Christmas from the movie Dumb and Dumber said
it best that John Denver is full of ship man
hey planting, hear the most annoying sound in the world.
(51:06):
That's from j C from Tennessee signed a student of geography. Yeah,
but most of those songs are written by somebody else,
aren't they, and they musician. I think he might have
written that himself. Think he was all about grape nuts
and writing. Okay, yeah, I can write music. It's just
(51:29):
the great thing about music is you only have to
have like three lyrics and just repeat them over and over,
or write something that's confusing to the average person because
the listeners take that is that's deep, what does that mean?
And they dig into it. So you could just write
some random ship like a crazy poem. It's original, but
(51:49):
it's deep to people. Wow, that's so deep. Yeah. People
create their own reality with yeah music, and if it's
drug induced, yeah, smoke weed. We had Mikey Adams on
last week and he pointed out when he's a DJ,
that famous Thanksgiving song Alice Long. Yeah, Yeah, Alice's kitchen.
(52:11):
Alice's kitchen is that what it's got and that gets
played all the time when DJs need to go to
the bathroom. Uh A real quick here, Matt in Dallas
is speaking of fishing. What's the most obscure sport you've
ever covered or done? A Mallard monologue on I think
you did marble racing, not a sport during the pandemic,
(52:32):
that doesn't count. Uh. Yeah, I don't do a lot
of a lot of those weird sports. I have done cycling.
That's when there's been controversies in the Tour de France.
I've actually done that. That's weird, very odd. Soccer during
the World Cup for me is weird. Yeah, that's about
as far as I go. Kevin and Kansas Hays near
(52:53):
Ben and Dana Gy. Will you be singing? Take me
out to the ball game at your favorite stadium this summer?
Can we expect Harry Carey style or something more reserved? Well,
I'd love this thing. Seventh inning stretch. I've not been invited,
but I will be in Chicago coming up, so if
the Cubs want me to be out there, contact me
and uh anyway, that's the other way out of time.
(53:14):
So thanks Jay Bone in Portland, Maine who ripped me over,
Josh Allen and Cliff in Nashville Valls fan Jimmy Cliff
and Nashville I have had Nashville Hot Chicken, Dave's Hot Chicken,
you've been. I think we talked about this to dat Chicken.
I actually liked it. It's good and it's open late.
There's not a lot of stuff open late anymore. And
(53:36):
Dave's Hot Chicken, which is all over l A these
days delicious. I found it to be a nice meal,
good portions, and it's open late, So good job by them.
Anything to promote Danny, anything at all, anything at all
here day Sunday, which means I'm gonna be going into
the Coveno and Rich show this afternoon, and then Chris
(53:57):
Plank and Arnie Spaniard which is the lead into the
Live Ben Mallard Show. Make sure those guys don't suck
oh l your fads. Oh trust me. I have to
produce my ass off when it's involving Arnie. That's what
Arnie sounds like when he doesn't have a mic filter on.
That's interesting pointing out. Yeah, all right, listen, have a
(54:18):
great rest of your day. I'll be back on the
radio tonight the Ben Mallard Show. When Danny gets done
with his radio shows, I will be on. It depends
on which you coach you're on. If you're on the
West Coast, it sounds a lot better eleven to three
in the morning. If you're on the East coast, it is,
oh my god, two in the morning until six am Monday, Monday,
Monday Monday. I have a great rest of your Sunday
(54:41):
and we will catch you next time. Osta pasta population
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day dred minutes
a week was enough, I think again. He's the last
remnants of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness.
He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as
the rich pill poppers in the penthouse the Clearinghouse of
hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
(00:23):
with Ben Maller starts right now in the air everywhere
in a happy Sunday, another edition of The Fifth Hour
with Ben Mallard and Danny G. As we open up
the mail bag, watch out, watch out. There's a lot
(00:47):
of monsters in that mail back, Danny G. A lot
of monsters. But I'm excited. A ton of email. We
are flooded. The inbox is completely flooded. This is one
of those busy weeks, so we're gonna try to get
to as many people as we can't. Are you ready,
I'm ready. Let's do it all right, Right to the
mail bag. And if you want to send messages in
future shows, you can do this via Real Fifth Hour
(01:10):
at gmail dot com or on our Facebook page Ben
Mathers Show, Ben Mathers Show. You can send a question
and usually on Tuesdays, although some weeks depending on our
schedule and when we put all this together, we might
actually ask for questions earlier in the week, So monitor
follow that Facebook page Ben Maller Show, and you know
(01:34):
you might need to help us out early. Who knows,
but let's get into it. Music provided by our friend
Ohio All and yes we do. Terry and England writes
in from the UK. He says, apart from watching sport
(01:57):
for work, what other things that you interested in? Do
you use your leisure time? Both you Ben and Danny
ge Uh yeah, So I don't have too much leisure
time on the weekends. I was catching up with the
wife and things like that. I like going to the beach.
I've been doing that a lot lately, walking and getting
tar on my feet when I walk around the beach.
(02:18):
I like watching documentaries and I was just like love.
I love learning random fun factoids about not necessarily sports
but life in general. You know, why donuts have a
hole in them, things like that, just like weird, weird things.
Calm down on it Sunday morning. So I'm into that
kind of stuff. And yes, that's about it, not too deep.
(02:41):
Mostly watching sports and the free time I have just
kind of meditating and winding down and that whole thing.
What about you did? Yeah, my tender Ronny and I
we love long walks to the bagel shop. There's always
gotta be a destination at the end of the walk.
I'm yeah, I'd like to travel on the weekend if
(03:03):
I can. Got some radio shifts in there, so I
gotta be uh real creative with how I get out
of town. Um. But other than that, I read a
little bit. Like right now, I'm reading Call of the Wild,
which is a classic. Obviously read it in school, but
I'm rereading it right now as an adult. But I'm
like in a chapter where I remember having to be
(03:24):
tested on that chapter, and I'm like, man, I felt
so forced back then to read this. Now I'm reading
it for fun. What's going on? It's post traumatic stress
syndrome and all that at the PTSD. Yeah, I like
going on a little weekend trips to although he's pretty
much where we are. You gotta be in California. You
can't really leave California very Vegas. I guess you could do,
(03:46):
but I think you're the same as me. We try
to stay within an hour or two from where we live. Yeah,
usually right in that wheelhouse right around there. All right, Terry,
thank you for that. And who is is next here?
Let's see any meany mny MO come back. It's sign
(04:08):
from Meil. Call alright, this is from Neil in the
real Miami, he says, a big band Danny G Radio
Essential Workers Extraordinaire. I've been in Miami because I only
have so much time due to care for a little daughter.
What a game changer as you got a preview with
your niece there, Ben, and I've been keeping an eye
(04:31):
on our homestead or homeland rather in the Ukraine. Um,
but do not be alarmed. I have downloaded and played
all your podcast college Drinking Game Style and I am
all caught up. So you should see a spike in downloads. Yeah,
this guy, Neil Danny, he's got a penthouse condo in Miami.
(04:54):
You know that really cool part of Miami, right, all
those tall skyscrapers and then they've got the beach right
there in the He's right near the Miami Heat Arena.
It's pretty neat. He sent me photos of it. It's
pretty awesome, he says. The Friday shows are really good.
Yes to legend Lenny Dikestra back on the show. Well,
(05:14):
we've tried to get Lenny. Lenny, Lenny's not good at
getting back to us. Unfortunately, it's very busy man. Lenny
let me. He's dead to us right now. Yeah, yeah,
we we had booked Lenny and Lenny didn't do it. Uh,
He says. I also want to get that lovable narcissist
Gascon on the Friday show to catch up live on
his new adventures, and if not about Bruce Jacobs. I
(05:38):
recall that when I first started listening to Fox Sports
on x M late night driving from my tender Rowney's place,
I recall you, Neil says, you and him as my
favorite host, followed by John Freaky. There's another name I
haven't heard a long time. So if you Youtuo are
still good about it, well you'll be happy to know,
(05:59):
Neil that I have had Bruce on the podcast. I've
been on Bruce's local radio show in Phoenix. Bruce does
a morning drive show there and I've had him on
the podcast. He only been on once. We can have
Bruce on again. I'm not not a post dude. I
if there's something going on in Arizona Sports that's big.
Like if Kyler Murray gets traded, we can have him
(06:19):
on and I can goof on, I can goof on Bruce.
Or if the son's wind up getting upset. Yeah, yeah,
there you go, that would be good too. Uh And
he says, Uh, Danny Gee, come on, get the big
Donald t on the show. We love Big Ben. Big
Ben's in front of mine. Yeah. Well, your friends with Donald,
You've got his numbers, so I'm sure the former president
(06:40):
would be happy to come on. Uh. He says, you
should not have told the story because now we all
want you to pull that string. I'm sure Donald does
lots of podcasts. Uh. If you know, if you know him,
he'll do it. He does do something. Although I guess
you did an interview this week. They didn't go well,
(07:00):
but usually with people you know. I'll try I'll try
the number to see if it works, all right, says
Speaking of Friday shows, Neil says, I noticed that East
Coast hosts are raw and West Coast radio personalities are
more professional, like a finely groomed politician. I want a
(07:21):
mature guy. And you seem to have way more friends
in radio on the East Coast despite working in the
l A area. Is this true or just the story
I am telling myself. No, I don't think that's I
have a lot of friends. It's weird. I have their
casual friends Neil the radio. But I've been in the
business a while and I've always appreciated the guys that
(07:44):
are at the really good at top and I've been
fortunate enough to become friends with some of those guys
over the years. And I've done a lot of stuff
in Boston off and on over the years, so I've
got a lot of friends in Boston and working at
Fox Sports Radio, there's been a lot of turnover, shall
we say, over the years, and there's been a lot
of new faces that have come in and different people
(08:04):
that have passed through, and some I've worked with and
so become friends. And I think you'd agreed, Danny. Working
in radio, we all have the same stories from the battlefield,
we all have the same fish stories and whatnot, so
we have a common ground radio. It is interesting that
he's noticed some sort of difference between West Coast and
(08:27):
East Coast, because even before I started working at fs ARE,
one thing I liked about it was I would hear
you and Looney on the weekend, and I thought it
was cool that it originated out of the West, whereas
the other sports networks all came out of the East.
But yet there were talent on Fox that were from
the East. So it was a nice blend and that
(08:48):
nice West Coast kind of vibe to it. Yeah, that's
the East their owner. There's different styles, clearly, everyone's got
a different a different way of approaching it, uh, he says.
By the way, Neils says, as still waiting for the
Miami chapter of the Mallard Militia Meet and greet as
Mr Miami, I think this is the spotty named a
(09:09):
Butcher's Shop Beer Garden, he says, I need to check
out the menu. Well, listen, I you're not gonna have
to ask me twice, Neal, I would love to come
to Miami and hang out, uh, I says I think.
He says, I think you and the sidekick would love
the great area for talent as well. So I think
he's saying there's a lot of talent there, Danny first
round draft picks that could be out and about there
(09:31):
at the butcher Shop Beer Garden in Miami. So he's
talking about an upcoming NFL Draft. Well, it's it's a
version of the NFL draft. You know there's first round picks,
more like the NBA draft back in the day with
a lottery picks, first rounder, second rounder, undrafted free agent.
You know that there's different levels to this. Well, thank
(09:54):
you for that, Neil. A very lengthy email, but you
haven't written in a long time, so we thank you
for ending that along. I got mail, yea, I got mail. Yeah,
Kevin from Rockford Rights and he says, there has been
an interesting development. A mountain in Colorado is being renamed.
Formerly known as Mount Evans, the mountain is now named
(10:17):
Mount Blue Sky. The reason for the name changes apparently
Evans was a political politician who wasn't nice to Native Americas,
so he was canceled. Yeah that's nice here, ms. Mount
Blue Sky is right up there with guardians and commanders,
very generic. None of us in the mountain hiking colt
(10:40):
like the new name. So I think with the Mallard
malicious help, we can start a protest throughout the nation
to get the name changed to Mount Mallard. Kevin says
he is recommended that a fun fact about Mount Evans
is that there is a road that leads up to
the top. It's the highest paved road in the United States.
(11:04):
I like that you can drive all the way to
the top. Day. Uh, if the name changed to Mount Mallard,
we would build a restaurant at the top and name
it in the air. Everywhere, he says, there would be
the Mallard Burger, Mallard Pizza, etcetera, etcetera. Think of the possibility.
You're a marketing guy, Kevin, this guy Da, this guy Kevin,
and Rockford's a marketing guy. Yeah, don't forget a Mallard
(11:25):
bologney sandwich. That's not on the menu. That's that you're
making that up. We've had over the years. I've had
the mal Zone, had the mal Zone, which is a
col zone, but it's the Mallard brand, So it's the
mal Zone that was in Syracuse, that was the original
food dish. The Mallard chicken fingers in Kansas City, they've
been on the menu there for over a decade. And
in Denver you've got the Mallard chicken sandwich. Lawrence, Kansas
(11:49):
You've got the Mallard Fowler. So I'm covered, man, I'm
good to go on that. But I have not had it.
I have not had anything on a mountain, so that
would be wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. Pierre
from Springfield, Right, since it's Ben, does Fox Sports Radio,
I heart Slash Premiere Networks reimburse you for your internet
(12:13):
cost season? He says, If so, are there any plans
to add a secondary router connection prior to the football season?
If I recall correctly, those British baking shows take up
a lot of bandwidth and interfere with your sizzling hot
NFL game breakdowns during Benny versus the Penny? Are you
(12:35):
efforting another season of the aforementioned Benny Versus the Penny
sands the elitist? I have a feeling that Danny g
is more than qualified to spind the world famous Penny Well.
I have not thought about that yet, Pierre. As far
as what's gonna happen in the future, we did work
out the technical difficulties though. I had the great Jake
(12:56):
Warner engineer for the l A Clippers and the Kings,
and former Dodger engineer what is still wrong with the Clippers?
Jake came to the Mallard mansion, and he helped set
me up in the podcast studio. In fact, the mike
I'm on right now, Danny. I, when I tried to
do this before, it was a total ship show. It
(13:17):
was amateur our. It was Bozo the clown was the
whole thing there. And uh, it was like a magic
act because every few minutes I would vanish who Dany Yeah,
And it was like playing a video game. And this
is how it ended. But since then we were in
pretty good shape. And as far as the company, as
(13:38):
Danny was chuckling, they they generally do not pay for anything,
but they do. They do cover the broadcast connection. I was,
but I'm not allowed to use it olther than for
the show. So so it's one of those weird things.
It's hardwired. It's an internet connection, but it's it's hardwired
into my studio set up here, so I can't use
(14:00):
it for WiFi or anything like that. I can only
use it for the show because it has to be
dedicated for the show. And so, not to get into
too deep, how they make the hot dogs. But I
have my own internet connection. I don't use that for
for WiFi. So, uh, there is that on the and
and Pierre, see if you can contact your your buddies
(14:21):
at the Portland's Pickles. I'm they sent me a message
on Twitter, maybe doing something I don't know. I don't
even know a lot of the time that it's a
minor league baseball team in Portland. It's actually an Oregon
but Pierre's in Massachusetts. But they were talking about having
me come out and throw out the first pitch. You
might have to go up there too, Danny. You go
off your pickle juice. Well, let me tell you something.
(14:43):
You saw me throw gas at that minor league game.
I could I could do that again. Next up, Watch Out,
Watch Out, Clear the deck. Helen and Stu from Palmetado Bay, Florida.
I wonder what this is gonna be about, it, says
(15:06):
Ben and Danny Gee Italian Happy Sunday, one week closer
to Ben's well deserved vacation. We'll think we will have
a podcast that we will have podcasts all throughout, so
the podcast will still be up. The content will be
a little different for some of the podcast, right, Danny,
But we'll have uh, you know, new stuff. Wait you
(15:27):
we're out of here. It'll be a little mixture of
best of the live show, Best of the Podcast. I
promise it will be entertaining. Yeah, Helen says, boys, pull
up a chair, you're gonna want a seat at this
sport sports mailbag table. We're talking base ball. Uh. And
(15:50):
Helen says, Ben, when you are inducted in the National
Sports Broadcasters Hall of Fame, will thank you and it
will only happen in your dreams Helen, it will be
your perfect l a Dodgers almost perfect game. Screw you,
Roberts and Kershaw monologue that will be referenced. As baseball
purists and longtime Yankees fans, we argue that a perfect game,
(16:15):
or no hitter for that matter, is the ultimate team victory.
It's often a diving catch in the outfield, a great
double play, or a throw at home plate throws out
a runner and home plate that preserves perfection. Uh. Yeah,
I understand what you're saying, Like a great defensive play
and all that, and that is a solid point. I
(16:39):
still can't get over Clayton Kershaw and his nonsense Danny
where he said it would have been selfish to try
to pitch a perfect game. One of the dumbest things
ever said by an athlete. It's it's it's it's serious.
I mean, I'm not a Kershaw hater, but that's that's embarrassing.
I'm still mad about the rich Hill perfect game getting ruined. Yeah,
(17:01):
that's right, anyway, Helen says, speaking of baseball and sticky substances,
here we go, then you get ready, here we go.
Get that. I knew it was coming. Yeah, I was like, Wow,
that was a nice email right there. But he speaking
to baseball and sticky substances. Does Tammy and Montana to
(17:24):
improve her grip use Pine Tar when she's pleasuring the
roster of the Montana state baseball team. Wow, that is wrong.
That's not right there, You anyway says let's not stop there, Ben,
there is one main reason why the Anaheim Angels should
not provide or should now provide you. Now provide you
(17:46):
a press pass so you can Will smith Bach slap
manager Joe Madden for becoming the first manager to order
an intentional walk with the bases loaded while trailing in
a game since almost forever. He angered Mike Trout and
us too. Helen writes in, Yeah, that's that's bizarro. That's
(18:10):
a little too much thinking going on there. But it
did work out. Didn't Angels win that game? I think
they did, right, didn't they win that game? I think
that he said he did it to fire up his club. Yeah,
I'm sure that's the reason. Anyway, the message continues. But wait,
there's more. Ben. We may be fluent in sarcasm and
with but at our family corps were never quit competitors.
(18:34):
Our kids can defend themselves against bullying kids and now adults.
We love motto a mono sports showdowns. Our guy can
beat your guy. You get the point, which is why
we've always hated the intentional walk baseball strategy. R ass
(18:55):
Helen writes, in today's game, you don't even get four
wide ones. I know that's that was something they changed
a couple years ago. And every once in a while,
as I remember Danny, when they were doing the intentional walk,
every once in a while, pitch would go sailing over
the catcher's head. Yeah. I can't have that anymore. Yeah,
or you'd have a batter reach out his bat and ball.
(19:17):
Vladimir Guerrero, the original says Ben inclosing, what better way
for you to get back at the Angels for not
granting you Fox Sports Radio Press pass Then by nationally
launching and promoting the new Joe Madden Rule, and she says,
make an intentional walk count for two bases. Co sponsored
(19:38):
by the Fifth Hour with Danny G Radio. What do
you say far above the Mendoza line? Helen and Stu
in Palmetto Bay, Florida. Does everyone know what the Mendoza
line is? Still? That's like an old reference. You think
everyone knows what that means? The Mendoza line. There was
a player named Mario Mendoza in the eighties. I think
(20:00):
it was I remember seventies, eighties, and he was a
horrible hitter and he always hit around two hundred. So
the Mendoza line is above or below two d see,
I knew that. I didn't even know it was named
after a player. I didn't know where that was from. Yeah,
I learned something new on this podcast every week. There
(20:23):
you go. It's usually not anything that's gonna help me
in life, but it's still something I learned. No, I
don't think you can possibly monetize Mario Mendoza. I don't
think you can do that. But he played in the seventies.
In the early eighties, I thought he played for the Angels.
We actually played for the Pirates, the Mariners, and the Rangers.
(20:47):
His career batting average to fifteen was his career batting average.
He batted uh, let's see, I'll give you some fun
factions at eight to eighteen one again. And and he
also his his big year was with the Seattle Mariners
(21:09):
in eighty He bat at two forty five. So this
guy had nine years in the big leagues. Danny nine
years in the big leagues and bat at two fifteen,
played in seven almost seven hundred games. If you're him,
every time he heard somebody say that phrase, piste off.
(21:29):
I don't know if he had a good sense of
humor about it. But he's still alive. He's still around.
He's seventy one years old according to the Internet. Wow,
so he's living above the Mendoza line. Yeah, yeah, he's
He's above the Mendoza line for sure. Alright. The mail
bag does not end at one after another. The mail
mail bag questions continue here and let's see. Oh. Tammy
(21:57):
in Montana writes in here we go, Hello boys, Hey Ben,
since Helen kisses your ass so much, maybe she could
advertise her business on the podcast Helen's Whorehouse. Tammy writes,
I give the gift that keeps giving. Wow, Tammy says,
let Helen, who bragged about being a great cook, know
(22:21):
that if her roast is bouncing off the floor, it's
because her dinner guests are trying to get rid of
it because it's inedible. Helen attacking Eddie's work and her
Haskins joke show her abominable character. And yes, Helen, I
know hot dogs like your husband Stu knows big black holes. Wow,
(22:47):
oh man, it's signed Tammy in Montana. Boy, those two.
What kind of peace treaty would it take to get
these two to hold hands and sing a song together?
I gotta tell you this, Tammy and Monton. How many
years has this been going on on the podcast? This
(23:08):
is only a podcast be if it's been going on. So,
I don't know how many years I've been doing the
podcast now, it seems like it seems like it's been
a while. Yeah, it's it's wild Tammy and Montana like,
she's very sweet, nice, helps out a lot of fans
of the show and gives back and all that. And
were you with me when she got into the octagon
(23:28):
with Genie and Medford, Yeah, that was one of the
wildest nights. Genie tapped out and my Peach Cobbler lives. Yeah.
We all said this is gonna be no contest, this
is domination. It was a bigger upset than when the
US hockey team beat the Russian hockey team in the Olympics.
(23:51):
Genie famously said, you're mean. Yes, tapped out Genie, who
was a little snapping turtle and would tech anyone. But
Tammy and Montana was able to come in there like
gangbusters and and win the fight. It was wild, all right.
Email continues Barry in Nashville rights and says, Yo, Yo, Ma,
(24:13):
Benny for you and Danny g you have to pick
one of these parachute out of an airplane or go
hot air Balloony? Which one are you taking? All right?
So I'll go first. Yeah, I'm gonna go hot air Ballooney.
I've done that before when I was a kid, not
(24:33):
by myself, I had grown ups with me. I was
with a group of people. But I do hot air Balloony.
I can handle that. The parachuting out of an airplane
thing seems like a good idea, But I've seen too
many stories on the internet about the shoot not opening
up to cause me pause on that. What about you,
(24:53):
Danny hot air balloon sounds too safe. I like adrenaline.
That's why I have fifty seven tattoos. Okay, um, So
I guess I would jump. I would be a little
nervous about the parachute, but I would just you know,
do a triple check on it, make sure it was
all good and that it was a reputable company taking
(25:15):
me up in the air. But I think that would
be fun. Yeah, it would be fun. Or it would
be uh, or it would be god chuckling as you
hit the ground at eight hundred miles per hour. You
definitely leave your mark on the way out. You definitely
leave your mark on the way out, that is for sure.
(25:37):
Tim Wrightson says, who on your show has the most victories?
Who has chosen the most the team up with? Says
him about the Game Shows. So I am the on
the Cy Young of the Game Shows. To him, I
have the I'm the all time wins king when it
comes to the Game Shows, no one's come closed. You're
also the all time loser. You have the most losses
as well as fine. Cy Young as the most losses
(25:58):
is considered the greatest pitcher of ball time. I don't
care about that. Cy Young of the game shows, all right,
uh former heismoner from USC he killed two people cut
their heads off. No, you idiot, all right, past I
(26:20):
I've been chosen quite off. In Eddie's second, usually it's
me and Eddie. I'd say Coop is third. The weed
heads love Coop, like the weed crowd. It's a badge
of honor in the weed community to play a game
show and have Coop. Hey, now, it's a big deal. Danny,
(26:43):
it's a it's a big deal. And then after that,
after they get done with Coop, it's a Roberto. Did
Coop work on the national holiday for He did? Shockingly enough,
he did in And I think my theory on that
is it's very similar to New Year's Eve, you know,
(27:07):
like the professional the professional drinker doesn't really go out
on New Year's Eve because it's just another night. It's
it's amateur night. Like in the week community. I think
for twenty if you smoke weed every day, two joints,
you know, to the morning and night, and you're like,
when it comes down to it, you're like, oh my god,
who the hell cash for tourists? Yeah, it's like you
(27:29):
go to New Orleans and you want to see Bourbon
Street and all that. But if you live in New Orleans,
you don't, you know, go if you live in Vegas,
the Strip, it's a it's a nuisance to go down
there because you have strippers all the time. That special. Yeah,
it's sex, drugs and rock and roll twenty four hours
a day, the whole thing. They're so exactly. You've got
(27:52):
mail next up, a lot of a lot of questions.
We gotta keep the train moving here. Rick says, Ben
your hatred of ranch dressing, I don't understand. I bet
your Lizzo likes ranch dressing. Well, I don't disagree that
Lizzo probably likes ranch dressing, which is another reason Rick
to despise ranch dressing. If Lizzo likes it, I'm going
(28:14):
the other way ranch dressing. I'll be very kind. You
can like what you like. I don't like it. I
know it's the devil's blood and I'm not gonna drink
the devil's blood. And if you want to do that, congratulations, Yeah,
knock yourself out. But I say, okay, that's it, Okay,
that's right, alright, let's see your boy. Matthew Stafford would
(28:36):
disagree with you. I saw him at a restaurant in
Thousand Oaks, Band and he had a big side of
ranch dressing right in the center of the table. How
do you know it wasn't blue cheese. Might have been
blue cheese, which is an evil cousin of ranch dress.
Blue cheese is nasty. You can smell that from a
block away. Yeah, well so so is ranch. Get that
(29:00):
dragon breath after you have that ranch dressing. No, it
is not. It's disgusting, it's horrible. It's cheap, it's crappy,
and people have most standards that like fransch dressing. Get
some Costco pizza into ranch it will change your world.
Oh no, no, that's an amateur. You know, a good pizza,
a good pie does not really need ranch dressing. That's
(29:20):
like a Midwestern thing they do that. I got a
buddy in Kansas City tells me, Oh yeah, they put
ranch dressing everywhere. It's terrible. And anyway, John and Northern
Colorado writes in he says, have you ever returned home
from an evening out only discover that your fly was
unzipped for hours? Uh? Yeah, and of course that's happened.
(29:45):
It does take, but you're embarrassed when it happens. The
worst for me worse than that, because you figure not
everyone's looking at your junk, your twigging berries there, so
they might not notice. But the thing that really pisces
me off, and it's happened a few times over the years,
when you go to the power her room, Danny, and
you walk out and you realize that you've been walking
around and you have a piece of toilet paper that's
(30:07):
on the back of your shoe. Oh, that's bad. I
have one worse for you though. Back when I was
deejaying in clubs, you know, it's pretty dark inside there,
so you can't see everything perfectly. Well, I had a
new shirt that I was wearing and it had one
of those stupid long clear stickers on it that said
the size. Oh no, it was on the back of
(30:29):
the shirt. I didn't know it was there. And a
girl came up to me towards the end of the
night and she's like, what you're trying to show off
that you're extra large. That's a great pickup line by her.
That's a solid pickup line by the lady. Huh yeah,
And I was like, what are you talking about oh
and then yeah, but then she continued to laugh with
her friends as I peeled the stupid sticker off my shirt. Yeah. Yeah,
(30:54):
well she didn't give you did break the ice, but yeah,
I felt really stupid. Have you noticed though, some of
those young kids these days to energy them young kids, Uh,
they'll like baseball has to leave the tags on the
hats now. Uh, that's like a thing. You leave the
tags on the hats now and you want to Yeah,
(31:14):
that reflector, the circle reflector, you leave that on the
inside of your brim. Yeah. That's been going on for
twenty years. Now, twenty years that's been going on camera.
Are you sure you're not that guy. I'll trust me
you're not that guy. Next up on the mail bag,
these are actual letters by actual listeners to the show
(31:37):
that have contacted us. All right. Next up, Dan I
says Russia is threatening nuclear war, so I'm sorry we
are going to have to cancel the elections for this fall.
Is Joe Biden going to use this election since they
know they are going to lose big? I feel like
this was for Clay Travis Danny, not for me, but
(32:00):
talk Uh, I'd like to think that's not going to
happen there, Dan, but a lot of things that have
taken place in the last few years, I thought, there's
no way that's going to happen, and tell they've happened.
So I like to believe that we will have everything
(32:20):
the way it should be. And uh, we're we're done
with a lot of the nonsense. Um, but stay tuned,
stay tuned. There's always another one thing I've learned over
my life here, there's always another boogeyman that politicians use
to scarely electorate. And that's really the key. And it's
not just one side of the it's all sides of
(32:42):
the eye. It's all about that power. Danny. You gotta
have a bad guy. For years, remember Middle Eastern terrorism
and how big a deal that was, and uh, people
very upset about terrorist and the Middle East and that
was a big deal. Well they've pivoted away from that.
Then it was the COVID stuff and now now it's Russia.
(33:03):
So we've moved. There's always got to be something in
southern California. There's been no spike or anything since people
took the masks off. Well, that's the most maddening thing
is you look at the data. I know one talks
about trust the science, and I wanna get off of
them the third rail on my own, the third rail.
But this is something that's really pissed me off the
last couple year. So they always said, well, you wear
(33:24):
the mask and all that. But if you look at
the data and you've seen this, Danny, take that for data.
There is no tangible difference between places that war masks
and places that didn't wear masks is zero different almost
no difference. Uh. We're talking about something that's airborne that
(33:44):
can get into your eyeballs. So that's the problem here
is that the mask. I mean maybe it helped somewhat,
but it sure didn't do what people thought it was
gonna do at the start of all. Well, no, because
people people aren't wearing surgical mask. They're wearing their diapers
or whatever they're wearing. In the breath that you breathe out,
(34:06):
you're getting air in and out and in and out.
It's uh, I don't need to go down that road.
But but thank you Dan for hijacking the show for
that section of the show. Wow. Scott from Northern Kentucky
rights and he says Ben and Danny giving the podcast well,
that's a good start there, Like it's loving the podcast
(34:30):
what Danny g has brought to it. I also grew
up in rialto Danny. Oh nice, he says, when did
you guys lose your virginity? Wow, that's a personal question. Uh.
And before marriage or full time Tinderoni time, did either
of you ever hook up with a listener or a groupie?
Perhaps that's the beginning question. Well, we've talked about this before, Danny.
(34:53):
It's a rite of passage. It's like a bar mitzvah
in radio. It's you're coming out part in radio when
you uh enjoy some special time with a list Would
that be accurate? Depending on the size of the radio station,
you could argue that everybody's a listener if it's a
(35:14):
good ratio. I mean, I had a program director that
used to say that. He's like, look, we're rated number one.
Everybody's a listener. And he used to tell us that's
why you got to treat everybody with respect. You guys
can date as many girls as you want, but you
better respect them and you better treat them good. And
the breakup better not be messy, because I don't want
(35:35):
to deal with any of it. Yeah, that sound advice. Now,
I've always worked in sports radio, so I have a
much more difficult road. Then you worked in music radio,
and I I experienced music radio. I worked at Kiss
AM Kiss FM, the top forty station in l A.
I worked just down the hall, and I was buddies
(35:56):
with the dj We were, but like the nighttime guys,
and they're big stars in radio now. In l A radio,
Valentine was doing an evening show. He's now he's been
the morning guy at one oh four point three forever,
but I knew him. He was a night guy and
Joe Joe on the radio. I think last I heard
he was still at Kiss FM. Yeah he does afternoons
(36:17):
now he's afternoon drive, but he was doing the overnight show.
I'd go hang out with those guys. Those were my guys,
and I saw, you know, and I'm not saying they,
you know, did this, but the the amount of attention
that was given to the DJs over not just them,
the some of the weekend guys that was buddies with
my goodness, unbelievable. I could write a book with the
(36:41):
things that I've seen in my adult life and my
teenage life, because that's when I started in radio, although
I would not want my mom or anyone in my
family to read the book or know anything about what
I saw. We would go to a radio convention and
everybody couldn't wait for the deaf Jam cruise because there
was a big boat deaf Jam rented out and it
(37:02):
was the Sodom and Gomorra basically, and the big the
big joke was the next day nobody was on the boat.
You'd say, were you at the def Jam party? And
they'd say, what deaf Jam party. It's like the love boat,
the Vikings love boat. Back on the great NFL controversies
(37:22):
of our time, Scott says, also Tammy said the same
thing I was thinking about. The racist Hillbillies. Scott and
Northern con says racist Hillbillies, Helen and Stu thinking Golden
Corral was a fine dining establishment. Gilbert was a funny comedian.
No need to add the jew part and the tasteless
(37:42):
joke about Haskins death. Put your hoods on and hide
in your trailer. F Altuve and Korea and the entire
Strows franchise, and f Helen and Stu the racist Hillbillies
signs Scott from northern Kentucky. Alright, Scott, thank you for that.
(38:06):
Next up on the mail bag, these are actual letters
sending by actual listeners to the show. I got mail, yea,
I got mail yea. Angelina writes in says, Hi, Ben,
I enjoy all three of the weekend podcast. And I
heard that you are asking about suggestions for other types
(38:27):
of cookies. And she she sent me a recipe or Danny,
uh And she said, I didn't hear this one mentioned.
Have you heard of monster cookies? They're so good? And
she gave me the recipe here below, and she says,
I think your five year old niece would love them. Okay,
So I have the recipe, Angelina, And there's a lot
(38:48):
of ingredients series stuff I don't use all the time.
So I am I'm excited about since it makes about
a dozen and a half cookies. But they're monster cookies.
What's in it, uh man, is like you've got some
peanut butter in here. There's all all kinds of Let
me let me give you the run. You want the
full rundown here? You want the full cookie? No, you
(39:10):
don't want Thank you for the recipe. I'm gonna I'm
gonna trust if I get poisoned, Angelina, I'm gonna I'm
gonna remember you so and she says, I like Sir
Scratchhops calls. I hope that opinion doesn't annoy you and
the guys too much. But then two days later, after
she said this email Danny, two days later she wrote
back says, I heard Sir Scratchops call this morning. I'm
(39:31):
going to have to rethink what I typed about his
calls in my last email. It's a Jerry West like retraction.
That's uh, that is outstanding. Thank you for that, Angelina,
And who is next to her Actual messages from actual
(39:52):
listeners to the show. Trucker Joe from Strasburg, Pennsylvania says,
if the show had a Mount Rushmore, here we go
Mount Rushmore of drunk or drugged up callers who you're
putting on it. Also, what happened with the moonshine sent
you and the crew a few years ago? Are you
(40:13):
giving it to the Tomahawk? Are you giving it the
Tomahawk steak treatment? No? I I have the Moonshine. It's
part of the party. I have a bunch of alcohol
that I pull out for parties. You've seen that Danny
alcohol and it's on the it's on the tray. So
we haven't had a party in a couple of years
because of the COVID, but we are planning this year
(40:36):
all all willing, health willing and everything being okay. We're
planning on having the Ugly Sweater party or some kind
of holiday party this year. So Danny should probably leave
your house right now. You might make it where I
live compared to where you live. You might make it
by the time the party comes around. Those parties are epic.
I'll be on the road. Yeah, So I have that,
and I know I don't know Mount Rushmore. I don't
(40:58):
new Mount Rushmore, Strucker Joe. That's cliche, evergreen, lazy stuff.
But I will tell you that the callers that stand
out beer drinking Brian who just passed away, Genie and
Medford who passed away, Jimmy Ray from Tampa Bay who
passed um. There was another guy, Mark Moonshine. Mark. I
(41:18):
think he's also dead. They're all dead. Oh I didn't
know he was dead. Yeah. Yeah, these guys all passed away.
They all died of alcohol too. That's like, that's like
full commitment to the booze. And every one of them.
Danny handed got every one of them, were like, hey,
you know you should cut back. They were so far
(41:38):
gone by the time they found our show. There was
nothing they could do as beer drinking. Brian pointed out,
he was so his body was so used to alcohol
it was like blood to him. He needed it. He
couldn't get off the alcohol. Wait wait, wait, maybe we
uh man, take care of your health, militia. You only
(41:59):
get one body as far as we know, so you
might want to take care of it. You might want
to think I'm just I'm just saying so. Uh let's
see who else? Do we have a page? Dan here? Page?
I got mail? Yeah? I got mail? Yeah? Mr Mark right,
since says why does Ben yell over anyone who does
(42:20):
not agree with him? Getting worse as time goes by,
and Marcela is a complete fake Ben, He is making
an ass out of all you guys. All right, So Mark,
first of all, I yell because that's how I do things.
If you don't like it, there's a mute button you
(42:41):
can press that there. Wow, I don't yell all the
time now. Secondly, as far as Marcelle, you could not
be more wrong. You could not be more wrong. I
know things about Marcell that nobody else knows about Marcella.
I've spoken to Uncle Dynamite. I have talked Uncle Dynamite.
I did not actually plan on talking to Uncle Dynamite,
but Danny Marcel told me to give him a call.
(43:02):
I remember, Yeah, So he gave me his number. So
I called him up right after the show, before the
roosters were up. I was filling in for your live
show that week. Yeah, and Uncle Dynamite answer the phone
and I was like, oh crap. And so then I
had a conversation. So Marcell has got a lot of issues,
but it trust me, it's not an act. Not an act.
(43:24):
And he doesn't get paid that much per week. Yeah,
pretty good deal for us. He's on pay roll. Yeah,
but he's real exactly. The paid caller doesn't mean he's
an actor. And for the rest of that Mark, shut
the funk up. Okay, shut the fuck up, stop yelling
at me. Next up on the mail bag, Brian from Burlington, Ontario,
(43:49):
are one of our Canadian friends, says Blue Jays and
Dodges are on a collision course for the world series
which stacked lineup. We'll put up more runs this year
hashtag Jay's fanboard. Mhmm. Yeah, So the Blue Jays are
off to a little bit of a slow start here.
The Dodgers have gotten things going after that bad weekend
(44:11):
in Denver. The Mets fans are screaming that they're going
to be in the world. What about the Mets? What
about the Mets? And the Mets are off to a
good start. They got a legit manager and Buck show
Walter Dodgers Mets in the NLCS. That's happened. We've seen
that over the years, Danny a few times. Yeah, and
(44:32):
I love the Blue Jays. That the weird thing, And
I'm not sucking up to your Brian. When I was
a kid, the Blue Jays were a bit of a
mystery because they weren't on TV, and I grew up
in the Stone Age, Like the only time I saw
the Blue Jays was when they would play the Angels,
or if it was this weekend Baseball's twib notes. Yeah,
(44:56):
around the majors. The Blue Jays flying high in Toronto,
and they played at that football stadium, exhibition stadium in Toronto.
When I was a kid, the whole thing there was
like you didn't know a lot about him, and they
had a cool kind of logo and you're like, that's
kind of neat, that's that's different. And remember Jose Conseco
and Mark McGuire hitting those moon shots there in Toronto.
(45:19):
Oh yeah, well I was at the new stadium I'm
talking about, even before that football stadium, which I believe
is where Dave Winfield killed a bird and got arrested.
He hit a bird warming up in the outfield when
he was playing for the Yankees, and the police in
Canada sighted him after the game. So hey, I'll sign
up right now. I'll take Blue Jays Dodgers in the world. Serious,
(45:41):
sign me up for that. I love watching Vladimir Guerrero
Junior play. I'm not gonna like him much against the Dodgers,
but he's good and and I just I love the
fact that Blue Jays are going for Toronto is going
for the Dodgers are going for the Mets are going
for it, and and seeing teams like the Pirates and
the the Reds and the Orioles and the As that
don't give a crap about trying to win. It's nice.
(46:03):
I want to see teams go for it and have success,
all right, I'll do a couple more here on the
mail bag. Yes we do. Mike from Fullerton, Mike in Fullerton, right,
since is what animal are you the most afraid of?
For me, it's got to be the great white shark. Yeah,
I'm not that afraid of the great white shark, probably
(46:23):
because I don't really go in the ocean. When I
go to the ocean, I just walk. I put my
feet in the water and that's it. I like love.
I love to walk along the coast so much so
that I'll get tar on my feet. But I don't
actually go in the water. In California. I'm a I'm
a bit of a Mr. Softie. I only go in
like Hawaii because it's a lot warmer there, and so
(46:45):
I'll do the Hawaiian water, but not not in California.
I would say alligator. Okay, you know why. But here's
why we both agree on that we don't have that
here in California. U. Yeah, yeah, and he's just seeing alligators.
The two animals that I believe are really dinosaurs, even
(47:08):
though science tells us that it's just the chickens related
to the dinoso. But the the alligator and the komodo dragon. Yeah,
and I would argue a tortoise, Yeah, tourtus too. But
like to think we were living amongst these things which
I consider to be small dinosaurs. Fascinating. Yeah, because I
ever a kid loves dinosaurs and your little kid. No,
(47:30):
you're right. And if you're in the water and you
see a huge alligator or crocodile swimming towards you, like
I feel like a shark, I could punch it in
the nose super hard and at least maybe get away
with it just biting me, hopefully. But an alligator, if
it locks onto you and then does the that whole
(47:50):
stranglehold move it does, what do they do? The role
the death roll? Yeah, I'm not trying to be in
the water with an alligator or a crocodile. He claimed.
If you run in a zig zag form, you can
avoid an alligat because they can't run, they can't change directions, supposedly,
I've heard that. I don't know if that's but no,
(48:10):
it's great. I got a family lives in Florida. I
guess they're not. The gators aren't all over Florida. It's
like parts of Florida, right, They're not everywhere you know.
I've been to Miami, I've been in Orlando. Never saw
an alligator, at least I don't remember seeing an alligator
when I was there. I'm pretty sure I would have
remembered it. Let's see. Next up, Ja from Duluth. It's
(48:33):
sign from Call Jay says, this week I heard Austin
the truck driver call from Illinois saying his phone but dialed.
When you say, it's the Ben Maller Ship. And you
brought up that maybe beer drinking Brian is haunting his phone.
Did you consider that maybe Austin Hall's beer for a
(48:55):
living and it's possible that beer drinking Brian is in
his glo ory writing shotgun with a semi truck full
of beer. Rest in peace, Brian. That's funny. That's a
nice thought. That's a nice thought. That was hilarious. This
guy calls up Danny from from Illinois, Austin the truck Driver,
(49:15):
and he says, every time I say the Ben Mather Show,
he claims his phone will dial somewhere. Ah got you, boss? Yeah?
Who knew? Next up j C from Tennessee Rights and
he says, hey, Ben, in your line of work, have
you ever had any news or information that just left
you speechless for a few minutes while your brain has
(49:38):
to process what you you just learned. I had this
happen to me the other day while suffering, uh, the
great wide world of the Internet surfing rather so, he
said suffering, but he meant surfing, or maybe he meant suffering.
I stumbled upon some info that maybe questioned everything I
knew to be true, he says. We are all familiar
(49:59):
with John Denver's classic hit country road Take Me Home.
It starts like this, almost heaven, West Virginia, Blue Ridge Mountains,
Shenandoah Am. I saying that right, Shenandoah, Yeah, Shenandoah River.
Just like you and all your listeners. I always assumed
West Virginia, right, Yet he meant the state of West Virginia.
(50:20):
But a quick search of Google Maps you will see
neither the Blue Ridge Mountains or the Shenandoah River in
the state of West Virginia, but runs through Western Virginia. Yeah.
So I ask you, Ben, do you think John Denver
knew that the Blue Ridge Mountains and the Shenandoah River
was in Western Virginia or do you think it did
(50:44):
he think it was West Virginia. I myself, j C
says have pondered upon uh, pondered upon it. And I
think Lloyd Christmas from the movie Dumb and Dumber said
it best that John Denver is full of ship man
hey planting, hear the most annoying sound in the world.
(51:06):
That's from j C from Tennessee signed a student of geography. Yeah,
but most of those songs are written by somebody else,
aren't they, and they musician. I think he might have
written that himself. Think he was all about grape nuts
and writing. Okay, yeah, I can write music. It's just
(51:29):
the great thing about music is you only have to
have like three lyrics and just repeat them over and over,
or write something that's confusing to the average person because
the listeners take that is that's deep, what does that mean?
And they dig into it. So you could just write
some random ship like a crazy poem. It's original, but
(51:49):
it's deep to people. Wow, that's so deep. Yeah. People
create their own reality with yeah music, and if it's
drug induced, yeah, smoke weed. We had Mikey Adams on
last week and he pointed out when he's a DJ,
that famous Thanksgiving song Alice Long. Yeah, Yeah, Alice's kitchen.
(52:11):
Alice's kitchen is that what it's got and that gets
played all the time when DJs need to go to
the bathroom. Uh A real quick here, Matt in Dallas
is speaking of fishing. What's the most obscure sport you've
ever covered or done? A Mallard monologue on I think
you did marble racing, not a sport during the pandemic,
(52:32):
that doesn't count. Uh. Yeah, I don't do a lot
of a lot of those weird sports. I have done cycling.
That's when there's been controversies in the Tour de France.
I've actually done that. That's weird, very odd. Soccer during
the World Cup for me is weird. Yeah, that's about
as far as I go. Kevin and Kansas Hays near
(52:53):
Ben and Dana Gy. Will you be singing? Take me
out to the ball game at your favorite stadium this summer?
Can we expect Harry Carey style or something more reserved? Well,
I'd love this thing. Seventh inning stretch. I've not been invited,
but I will be in Chicago coming up, so if
the Cubs want me to be out there, contact me
and uh anyway, that's the other way out of time.
(53:14):
So thanks Jay Bone in Portland, Maine who ripped me over,
Josh Allen and Cliff in Nashville Valls fan Jimmy Cliff
and Nashville I have had Nashville Hot Chicken, Dave's Hot Chicken,
you've been. I think we talked about this to dat Chicken.
I actually liked it. It's good and it's open late.
There's not a lot of stuff open late anymore. And
(53:36):
Dave's Hot Chicken, which is all over l A these
days delicious. I found it to be a nice meal,
good portions, and it's open late, So good job by them.
Anything to promote Danny, anything at all, anything at all
here day Sunday, which means I'm gonna be going into
the Coveno and Rich show this afternoon, and then Chris
(53:57):
Plank and Arnie Spaniard which is the lead into the
Live Ben Mallard Show. Make sure those guys don't suck
oh l your fads. Oh trust me. I have to
produce my ass off when it's involving Arnie. That's what
Arnie sounds like when he doesn't have a mic filter on.
That's interesting pointing out. Yeah, all right, listen, have a
(54:18):
great rest of your day. I'll be back on the
radio tonight the Ben Mallard Show. When Danny gets done
with his radio shows, I will be on. It depends
on which you coach you're on. If you're on the
West Coast, it sounds a lot better eleven to three
in the morning. If you're on the East coast, it is,
oh my god, two in the morning until six am Monday, Monday,
Monday Monday. I have a great rest of your Sunday
(54:41):
and we will catch you next time. Osta pasta population
Host
Ben Maller
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