May 21, 2022 • 38 mins
Ben and his 5th Hour home-slice Danny G. deliver a fun Saturday morning podcast, with conversations about becoming Robert Van Winkle, Avalon on the horizon, Ben's vape double-take, feeling the buzz on campus, a Florida wellness check and more!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse. The Clearinghouse of Hot
takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with
(00:23):
Ben Maller starts right now in the air everywhere and
a happy Saturday. Back at it in the podcast Dojo,
another edition of The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and
Danny g Radio and we will not shut never. That
(00:46):
will not happen. No matter what happens here. You could
hear that it doesn't matter. That's the sound we dread, Danny,
when when you're talking to cricket, Jiminy cricket, that's not
a good thing. That is not a good thing. But
we're we're back at it again here in a jam
(01:07):
packed Saturday show. I enjoyed the conversation on Friday about
Tom Brady and Drew Brees and Sham Sharania. Uh. There's
some interesting nuggets in the Friday podcast, so I hope
people enjoyed that. I don't care really whether they did
or not, Danny, because I enjoyed it. That's the kind
(01:28):
of stuff I like, talking about the dirt, the gossip
in the media business, and so I enjoyed that a lot. Yeah,
those are your roots. You're like the godfather of that
kind of reporting. Yeah, but I'm becoming old now, so
nobody knows, like the people that are doing it now.
I have no idea that I did it for a
while in the the wild West smoke weed of the
(01:51):
blogger sphere back in the back in the and I'm
only a few bad shows away, Danny from getting back
into the blogger sphere. So people have asked me from
time to time. I'll get emails some people say I
love the website, why don't you bring the website back?
And my initial response is always uh, okay, is there
a dollar amount on that, you know, something like that,
(02:11):
And then and then they say no, there's no there's
no dollar amounting that. And then I I said, well,
it depends what happens with the radio show. So if
the radio show is going well, probably not gonna do it.
But it's changed a lot. And I and Ryan did
mention that Twitter made some changes. The reason I got
out of the blog stuff was because social media killed me.
(02:32):
My traffic. People were just they weren't. They weren't clicking
and clicking on the stuff. So it's interesting. It's crazy
because Ben Mallory dot com was so long ago that
you actually had to use dial up to get Yes,
it was A O L. Yeah, that's when you know
(02:53):
you're the veteran o G. Now you know you have
a an AO L email account. That's a sign year
old when you have an A O L email account. Now,
I have an A O L account for email, but
I only use it for spam. When you go to
when you go to a game Danny and they're like, hey,
you want to get this freeze sweater or towel, you
(03:14):
gotta sign up and what's your email? I'm like, all right,
put that in there. They give you a round of applause,
they give you your item, and and that's it. You
move on. Yeah. I have a very old Yahoo account,
and I think a lot of people have like old Yahoo's,
our old hot mails or old A O L s.
And it's something like really embarrassing now that we're adults,
(03:38):
because we set them up as kids. It's like big
G pimpin at Yahoo dot com. Yeah, for sure, for sure,
my a O l account is the first radio station
I worked as I was at Older But the first
radio station I worked at I had the dial position
(04:01):
is the is the end of the email address. So
I am such a radio loser. So on this podcast
we've got Robert Van Winkle double take the wellness check
and uh and I'm sure Danny that you've got some
amazing factoids to add to this nonsense. Yes, yeah, we
(04:23):
can call mine a buzz in the air a buzz
in the air, but not everywhere, not everywhere, alright. So,
since this is the Saturday podcast, for some reason, people
seem to enjoy the life of Mallory the life of
Danny g And it has been a rather mundane week
as I'm still trying to get back to the non
(04:43):
travel lifestyle and the daily grind at the radio Salt Mine.
But I did have a few developments that I wanted
to share with the class. I drink a ton of water.
I want a camel That's my go to drink. Now
on the weekends, all go crazy to have some lemonade.
I'll go really wild, have a thing of lemonade and
(05:04):
everyone's like, oh, been drinking lemonade. But I do like
to lemonade on the weekends, but during the week it's
mostly water, and I love cold water. They in a
cold water I read somewhere on the internet years ago,
Danny that if you drink cold water, it's actually better
for you that you burn calories. Drinking cold water like
speeds up your metabolism. Yeah. Yeah, so I believe that
(05:26):
it's probably bull crap, but I believe it, and I've
always had cold water. And at the new Mallard mansion,
we guy it's really extravagant refrigerator that my wife picked out.
I had nothing to do with it. The ice machine, though,
is not is not hooked up. They have an ice machine.
It's not working for whatever reason. So I've had to
go old school pour the water into the trays to
(05:47):
get ice. Somehow lost in translation or lost in the move,
I should say, when we moved from the old Mallard
mansion to the north Woods here, I ended up losing
these big ice trays with the blocks of ice. You
can't see my hands if you're listening, but Danny can
see like this big. I mean, they were huge chunks
(06:08):
of ice and it was great because you put two
of those things in there and it lasted like for
twelve hours. You had you had ice water. It's perfect,
basically the opposite of sonics. Little tiny ice cubes. Yeah yeah,
we had blocks of ice as thick as your skull. Yeah. Man,
I could kill someone. I could throw These are the
(06:28):
size of a softball, these things. I so, anyway, I
don't have those anymore. And I just had these two
little piss an ice traight and and and that's it.
I love the word pissing because I worked at w
e I. There was a guy that got in a
hell of a lot of trouble at e I because
he called I think it was Tom Brady's daughter a
(06:49):
piss hand blank my blank and blank you. And he
got in so much trouble for that. But but anyways,
it's it's like many ice cubes. So for some reason,
I don't know how this happened, probably because I was like,
this is but I was gonna keep refilling the ice trays.
So I fell down a rabbit hole on the internet
(07:10):
and I decided I'm gonna crank my game up. And
the result, thanks to Amazon and some purchases that were made.
You can now call me the new iceman name forget
George Gerbin, that old NBA player, because I went down
this this icy path and I am now the proud
(07:31):
owner dame of pretty much all shapes possible of ice
trace And I've not really experimented too much with this,
but I just got them. I have the big block
like I used to have. I have a round ball
ice tray. I can make little diamonds, like mid sized diamonds.
(07:55):
And the one that I got as an active romance
row wose pedal shaped ice. Wow. You pour the water
in and it freezes and it looks like a little rose. Wow.
I'm sure your wife is impressed. Yeah. I mean that's
that's a keeper. That's a big move. That's a we're
sticking together move right there. Good morning, Ben Danny g.
(08:20):
Supposely these things are for whiskey or mixed drinks. And
I found him on and then we're not cheap. Some
of these were pretty expensive. But I plan on dominating
the neighborhood ice game and and hopefully if we don't
have any more of these pandemics or what's the new thing,
that monkey thing that's going around And I saw in
(08:42):
the news this week, get bouncing around some kind of
new illness. If we don't have any of that stuff,
then we will have the holiday party will be back,
and so I I have to get my doctorate and
frozen stuff. And the goal is, since we're talking here
only in May and the holiday party is not of December,
that by then you'll be able to call me Robert
(09:04):
van Winkle as in Vanilla ice, ice, ice baby. That
that will be the move Danny, that that can take
place fo drizzle. Next level would be your initials in
ice cubes. Oh well, either one of my initials would
be be awkward in ice cubes at b M or
bs my middle name. It starts with an S, so
(09:27):
either bs very appropriate. Who knows, I have no idea.
Uh So anyway, so that was the ice the ice
drama rama. I also there was one other things, but
a couple of things that that popped into my head
here the last weekend. So I had another We had
another heat wave, pretty hot for a couple of days
(09:47):
last week. Yeah, I got little hot. So when the
temperature rises, what are we do in California? When the
temperature rises in southern California, where do we go off
our clothes. Well, we do that, and then we head west.
You can only go so far west. But when you
go to the very end of the map is the
mighty Pacific, right, the mighty Pacific Ocean smoke. And so
(10:11):
I found myself back at the Pacific Ocean, and I
do not actually enjoy going in the water. I think
I've talked about this in the past on the podcast,
probably not with you, but I saved that for tropical
looks like I'll go to Hawaii once every five ten
years or whatever, and I'll go in the water. Or
I like, you know what, I like Catalina, which is
off the coast of l A here little island. I
(10:32):
like that. I've been, you've never been. That's a great
It's rather pricey now, but it's kind of a cool
little getaway. You take a boat for an hour long beach, right, yeah,
long beach. Just several locations you can leave from. And
there's probably would maybe even closer for you. I'm not sure,
you have to double check, but yeah, it's great. There's
(10:54):
like one town Avalon in Catalina. They've got a little
stretch of beach. Yeah, they got a team station out there.
Do they is right. I had no idea. I thought
it would be cool if I had, if I had
Colin cowhard money, like I would buy a place on
Catalina and like hang out there on a Weekause I
don't have that kind of money. And I don't have
(11:14):
a boat. And everyone that's ever owned a boat around
me as always said, don't buy a boat. So I
don't have a boat. And have you ever been you
ever been a boat guy? Danny ever hung out with
people that have boats? Just the fishing boat that I
talked about last weekend? Yeah, No, as far as somebody
like owning a boat, keeping it, maintaining it, no, I've
(11:35):
always heard the same thing that you were just saying,
it's not a good investment. Remember when Chick her In
the Laker Broadcaster used to do the commercials for the
boat show. That's right. Yes, I don't know why that
popped in my head. I have no idea, but it's
just stupid things. Yeah. I think of our friend, the
late great Frank Pollock too when it comes to boats.
(11:57):
Oh yeah, Frank the big cod piece. Never heard of him.
Frank Pollock loved he loved the water and boats. And
I always love the fact that Frank Pollock was a
member of a fishing club in Compton, middle aged, tasty,
white guy, Frank Pollock and back in the old days
before Compton became Compton as it's no, you know, kind
(12:22):
of it's modern, modern perspective, but it was. It was
like like fishing places. And he took ice Cube out
on the water before ice Cube was like yeah. They
both looked at the water and they said, yeah, let's go.
So no, I I do like going to Cattline and
I go in the water there. You should. You should
take the Tinderroni, the Queen Tindroni out there. She'd been there.
(12:43):
I bet she's probably been there. She has, Yeah, she
mentioned us going out there. We just haven't got around
to it. But yeah, I would like to see it.
It's a great day trip now you there are hotels
that you could spend the night. It shuts down at
around nine o'clock. There's a movie theater. They a one movie,
one movie. There's a big it's a really cool old
(13:05):
theater which they called the Casino on Catalina and the
Chicago Cubs used to have spring training on that island.
The Wrigley family. That was where they that that was
their land. They still own the Wrigley Cartel. Most of
the island you can't go on because it's it's all
there's buffalo roaming around and craft like that's crazy. So
(13:29):
one of my my hobby on the weekends, I go
down and I aimlessly walk up and down. I wander
up and down the coast while my feet and my
lower legs go split splash. And my wife actually likes
going to the ocean. I don't not here, and so
she was doing anything. I was walking and it was
so hot, the beach was packed. We had a wait
(13:50):
in Lyne to get in the park. It was insane.
So we we we all will meet up every so often.
We have a little pow wow on the tent where
we will will meet showing the ocean. I'll go walking.
But I don't call it a tent. By the way,
then you know what I call it a dressing room. No,
a beach cabana. Doesn't that sound more exotic than just
(14:11):
sounds like you rented it. Yeah, yeah, it's my beach
cabana and uh and I have noticed it is pretty
neat when you close the windows, like the zipper windows
on the side it does feel like you're in a cabana,
like you're in your own little private world. It's kind
of neat. Sounds more exotic that way, anyway. So get
to the point, please, So that the beach was a madhouse.
(14:31):
It looks like it looked like tent city, massive humanity.
Anyone's got a tent and I'm doing my ten thousand steps.
It's like a steeple chase, though. Um Dodge and land
Mine says, a mix a lot of kids mixed with
old people, and so there's a lot of lateral movement
going around. As I'm walking down the beach, and there
the sand castles I could see as far as I
(14:54):
could see, there were sand cows. Kids were having a field,
and I'm traveling by ankle express and I'm walking around.
You're moving my ankle and showing great lateral movement, as
I said. But I get down near the the end
of like one side of where the beach kind of
cut off, and then you had to go back, and
I had to do a double take because they were
(15:14):
probably thirty five or forty kids all making sand castles,
playing in the water, in the ocean, and in the
middle of this sandy like kindergarten type thing. There's a
woman wearing a bikini. But it's not that she was
like miss Universe or anything like that. That's not why
(15:36):
I'm bringing this up. The reason I did a double take, though,
is she standing on these kids or whatever. She's in
the water and she left a hand of God, she
left a vapor trail around her, and she was vaping
while standing. It was very odd to me. I don't know.
I don't know why that did. Like the visuals seemed
very odd, like she couldn't like stop for I don't know.
(15:59):
This is very odd. Like you're in the water, you've
got to bring your vape pen with you into the water. Now,
that's an addict, That's what I'm saying. Right, I'm looking
at something. What are you doing here? I mean, it's
come on, you can't leave it in a tent for
for five minutes and then go back to the go
out of the water and go back and uh, it's
very odd. Yeah, public vapors really bug me because it's
(16:21):
flavored smoke. It think it's okay to blow it in
everybody's face. That is correct, yes, yes, And it's very
the punt there's a pungent smell to it too. You
definitely you can taste it secondhand for sure. Anyway, So
they your world, Danny g let's get down to business.
Enough about me, it's all about you. I'm looking for
(16:43):
my vape pen right now. Yeah, it's it's in your car.
I think you go out your car back in a second, exactly.
I mean it's winding down here. The last day of
school in my district is May quickly coming up on it.
(17:04):
This is gonna be the last week of school. Boy.
You could feel it in the air everywhere on the
campus because the adults are giving up. We're not enforcing
any rules. Uh. It's funny because our dean, he's really good,
and he's really good at, you know, keeping the kids
(17:24):
in line. But yet he's a nice guy. But last
week I overheard him saying, just let him do it.
I've never yeah, I've never heard those words come out
of his mouth before. So that was awesome. A prior
(17:45):
episode of the podcast, we talked about how the girls
already won their petition in their battle over the dress code.
I have a statin night gone on. It's been less
and less closed, more and more smiles and laughter as
we get close to the summertime. It was funny. I
overheard two girls having a conversation during snack time and
(18:08):
one of them said to the other, is your mom
gonna make you go to that art camp again? And
she said, nah, I told my mom I'm not into it.
She said, I have a lot to do. I'm gonna
just stay at home. She's like, I'm gonna reorganize my
bedroom and talk to boys all day she planned out.
(18:29):
It's like, wow, goal, she's got goals right there. Re
organize our bedroom and talk to boys all day on
our computer. Oh. Monday, the eighth graders get to go
on a field trip to Universal Studios. Very cool. But
now I feel like when they get back from that trip,
the rest of the week is gonna be a little
(18:50):
chaotic because teachers and administrators have been holding this trip
over their head for weeks and weeks. They've been saying, uh,
you're gonna go to the dean's office and you are
in jeopardy of not going on the Universal trap. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
that's right. So when this trip is over, they have
(19:13):
nothing to hold over the eighth grader's heads any longer.
You gotta get a carrot on the stick is what
you gotta get it. You get more carrots for one day.
I guess they're gonna say, uh, you're not gonna be
able to graduate with the class. You're not gonna be
able to go to culmination. But then our school is
interesting because the culmination is on Tuesday, and then the
(19:35):
kids got to come back to school for a couple
more days, by congratulations, and we'll see you tomorrow at class.
What's up with that? That's bad. That seems like somebody
goofed up the planning on that. I think it's because
there's so many graduations and culminations going on across the
board that they tried to put theirs on a different
(19:56):
day as not to compete with the more important graduations
like high school and you know, some of the other
classes that might be graduating. Because let's be honest, this
whole thing about kindergarteners walking and getting diploma, yes, it
is a thing now, yes, And the thing come, why
(20:17):
did that become a thing? It's been a thing for
a little while now. What I remember from graduating what
we call junior high back then, Yeah, the elementary school
pushed us all out onto the black Top. They played
Whitney Houston the greatest level all on the loud school
and I saw a couple of elementary school teachers crying
(20:41):
and that was it. There were no parents there. It
was very awkward and that was it. Then they're like,
by you guys are out of here. See uh And
it was the last day of school. Now there's chairs,
there's tickets. The family has to figure out who's going
to get to attend because there's a limited in my
on the seats. And so it's very similar to graduating
(21:04):
high school. So every but every grade, like just changing grades,
you get a pat on the back. Is that how
that works? Like going from it if you're going from
like second to third grade, do you get something? Do
you know that? Yeah? You only have a shining moment
when you're moving over to a different campus. Okay, yeah,
so yeah, I guess that's fine. It's like what the
(21:25):
parents like nowadays. We'll see what happens this final week.
I'm a little anxious because, you know, walking around the
campus and trying to figure out how to enforce things
or not enforce things, or just let things go. Like
I walked into a classroom last Friday to give this
important slip to a teacher, and they were watching the
(21:48):
movie forty two about Jackie Robinson. The teacher paused the
movie because she was kind of embarrassed that she was
slacking because they're not supposed to have any movies on
until next week. Okay. He took the slip from me,
and she said, oh, we're talking about social injustices and
and I'm like, I'm not your boss, it's okay. That's
(22:12):
oh yeah, and she pressed play as I walked out
of the room, and I'm like, yeah, I don't care.
If it was up to me, you could have started
movies the week before last week. Yeah, you're announcing you're
not going to be snitching to anybody, not at all. Teachers,
go ahead and play movies all this week. Yes, knock
(22:33):
yourself out. Now are you going to Universal Studios? And
you get Do you get to tag along to the
field trip? Danny? You get to go? Yeah? I found
out that I could have I needed to talk to
Mr Whiteman. Um, I had no idea. Somebody told me
last week. They're like, oh yeah, yeah, all you needed
to do was talk to him a few weeks ago,
(22:53):
and you could have been one of the chaperones. Yeah,
I didn't know nobody. Nobody gave me that memo. That's wrong, man, wrong,
it is wrong. You should be able to go to that.
That's uh. I guess next year, now, you know, in
the future. Exactly, I know how to hook it up now.
So is it one of those things where the kids
go for like three hours and then have to come back,
and then they get to go longer than that. I
(23:14):
got to the because you could spend a lot of
time in traffic just getting the Universal studios. I would
think even no, you're not that far away where your
school is located. The tread at a good point. I
think they're gonna line the buses up pretty early on
Monday morning, so they'll try to get there when the
park opens. Yeah, and then it's just kind of a
free for all. They let the kids run wild and
(23:36):
they have meet up points. I saw them having a
strategic meeting last week amongst the adults about how one
was gonna be with each group of the kids. Yeah,
good luck with that. Yeah, exactly exactly. They're gonna ditch
the adults. No, no, Now, do the kids have to
pay to go or is this the Universal studios doing
some marketing, realizing these kids when they're thirty and forty
(23:58):
years old will be coming back the Universal studios or
are they charging No, the kids don't have to pay.
I believe the school is paying the park at a
reduced price. Got you. Yeah, it's good marketing, like the
greatest You run a business, and if you can convince kids,
get kids hooked, and then they become adults. That's what
(24:19):
everyone wants, right McDonald's, the Happy Meal, the greatest thing ever,
the Happy Meal. Kids grow up, they're like you flash
back to when you got a little cheesy toy from
a movie in a Happy Meal when you were eight
years old. And then you're forty years old, you're like, oh,
I go back to McDonald's. It brings back memories. No, no,
you're right. To this day, I have people tell me, um,
(24:40):
oh man, I remember a graduation night at Disneyland. I
saw Stevie be on stage and stuff like that. So yeah,
people have lifelong memories of sober grad night, graduation night.
There field trips, and those field trips are some of
the most memorable times you'll have when you're in school. Yeah,
you feel like you're escaping from jail like you've you've
(25:03):
got you've been released, and you get to go with
all your contemporaries, like all your buddies, and it's it's
pretty it's pretty good hustle. Remember when I was a kid,
the Dodgers had a Kid's club and they gave you
a little membership card and they gave you like a
bunch of stuff for like ten bucks or something. It
was ridiculous. I don't even know if they still have that,
but it was it was cool. I didn't want to
(25:25):
mention a radio friend of mine, Bob Fesco. I go
on to show every Thursday in Kansas City Royals having
their Problems on the road. I'm Ben Mallock. So we're buddies.
He texts me. You know, we go, we go back
and forth. So he sends me a message this week
and out of the blue, he's like, hey, uh, he
(25:46):
asked me about caller X. I'm a caller to the show.
He said he was gonna be traveling. My buddy Bob
said he was gonna be traveling and he wanted to
know if this cat caller X was still around. And
I don't know why I did this, dandy, but for
some reason, in a moment of weakness against my better judgment,
(26:12):
I dialed this person up. Now, calor X, who is
calor X who received a Mallard show wellness check? Color
X is who weed Man? I love you? Yeah, My
(26:35):
guy Bob is going. He's in Miami this weekend, and
he called me up during the week He's like, hey,
I want to know what's going on with that guy
weed Man Hippie better known as Billy Blanks. He had
to call himself a weed man h because there's another
Billy Blanks. So first, so he sends me a message.
He does a morning show in Kansas City, so he's
on after I'm off the air and sends me a message.
(26:56):
So for some reason, I'm like, all right, I haven't
heard from weed Man. I went on social media to
see he hadn't posted anything since March, so I thought, well,
maybe he's dead. What happened to him? And so in
the wee hours of the morning, ring ring, ring, ring, ring, ring,
and ring on the fourth ring, Danny, I get a
groggy but not so groovy hello like that. The next
(27:21):
thing out of the mouth is blocked number and uh.
And it turns out he was half asleep. But weed
Man Hippie is alive and well, and he was rambled.
He was the rambling man Danny. And so I tell him,
I'm like, hey, I'm calling you, and I haven't talked
to you a while, and you don't call it show anymore.
(27:41):
But my guy, my radio buddies gonna be mi ami
And he wanted he was asking about you. So what
do you think weed Man did after that point in
the conversation. What do you think he did? Ask you
for money? Da Na name Ning Ning. Yeah. He then
proceeds to give me the sob story about how he
has no money, he lost his identification, he lost his
(28:04):
bus pass. Uh, he claims, since he lost his identification,
and he's give me the whole song and dance, like
the full laundry list. He's like, well, I lost my
I D and I have no way to travel, and
I can't get a new bus pass until I have
an I D. And I don't have an I D,
and I can't get an I D until I have
a bus pass. And I have no food, and I
have no money because I lost You know, he's on
(28:27):
the government. He's got one of those cards from the
government where he gets money whatever for food. But he
didn't have that, and so I mean he was right
away within seconds wall half asleep. He's he's reading me
the Riot Act up to his old tricks and uh
and yeah, hand to god. He said, gmail me somebody
is what he said. That was the response from good
(28:52):
old man. I'm and I'm telling him like, oh, you're
sleep and you're not gonna remember. I'm gonna remember, and
uh and I'm like, oh, I wish you good luck.
And then he kind of got sarcastic like oh, yeah,
I'm sure you do like that kind of but I didn't.
So it went well. It was a very pleasant conversation. Yeah, yeah,
he's still upset. You were with me when all this
went down, I think, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We weed
(29:16):
Man wanted to rent out a theater in Vegas and
have a one man Well I guess it would be
a two man show, Me and weed Man. He came
into some money. Remember how much he was gonna charge
per ticket? Oh my god, man, he wanted to charge
Mallard Militia members like a hundred and fifty ahead. Yeah,
so not only do you have to go to Vegas
and spend money on a air fare and all that.
(29:38):
But he was convinced that he was gonna sell the
joint out and he was gonna make all this money
and he'd performed and it was and I explained to him,
I said, listen, and I've been to these events and
I love the listeners, but they're not going to spend
any money on this week man, I tried to explain.
I tried to reason with him. Yeah, we tried to
convince him to do ten dollar tickets because we said
(30:00):
go with quantity over quality, because we know your act
is not going to be quality. But if you go
ten bucks, you can load people in there, kind of
like what the USFL has been trying to do. Yeah,
you want to get people in your business. You want
to get people, and then if you charge you it's
like a lot of places now they have a one
rate and then there's different tiers for certain perks that
(30:23):
you can get, like I don't know, maybe you can
can you know, dumpster dive with weed Man for two
or something like that. Uh, I'm kidding, okay, But but
the point is that he was There was no budging
at all, and it was s t f U University
shut the funk up. That was That was weed man
right there, just going on on, yammering away. Ah, he's alive.
(30:47):
I would not say he's well to this day. He
claimed he put some deposit down that he lost and
he blames you for losing that money. Yes, that is correct. Yes,
And he got very angry and send me a bunch
of nasty stuff on social media, which is in line
with a lot of these guy blind Scott has sent
me some very disgusting things over the years. But listen,
(31:11):
it's part of the gig. That's what happened. Uh. Now,
I wanted to mention also the backscratcher. Unfortunately, Danny, I
went and looked, you're now this is the bit. We
didn't do this last week. I don't think right, I
don't think we did this last Now the travelog which
explains a lot, and I was gone the week before,
and you put the best stuff together, so you know,
it's our weekly tip of the on air light to
the loyal minions who support the show by posting a
(31:34):
nice review. And so I went to the fifth hour
Apple podcast page, the thing that management actually checks and
bupkiss nothing zero we shuck again. Uh, not a single
post at all, well, you know what this is. That's
(32:00):
the Apple podcast folks saying, you know what, man is
traveling and he's off right now, and be off right
now too. But it's time for the podcast reviewers to
get back to work now it is. And we failure, right,
We failed to promote this the last couple of weeks
and so there has been no new review for almost
(32:23):
a month. In fact, if we don't get a review today,
this being the twenty one day of May on Saturday,
so we don't get a review today or tomorrow, then Monday,
I believe, is the one month anniversary. It was April
was the last one we got. So so try better,
(32:43):
do better, be better. That's the that's the way. But
we do appreciate it, and and I know it's a pain
in the butt and all that stuff, but it does
help us out the fifth Hour podcast page and just
put something nice on there and then we're good to go.
All right, that's all we need. Yes, all we gotta
do is let Pierre know that there's no actually there
and all the arms Oh that's right, you know. Once
(33:05):
alf the alien o Pineer finds out about that, he'll
be like, oh hell yeah, and then all of a sudden,
it'll be on like Donkey Kong, and he'll he'll see
he has a bugle. Pierre in Springfield, mass I'm convinced
he's got a bugle, and he calls in the militia
whenever I see that. And then and then he makes
(33:30):
he makes a whistle, you know, he blows the horn there,
and then all of a sudden, a bunch of people
come running out and all that stuff. So thank you
in advance, because I know there'll be a few after
hearing this. Yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure people will
help us out. And I'm also on cameo if you want.
I was somebody sent me a story that Sarah Palin,
(33:52):
the former politician from Alaska, never heard of him. Did
you see how much money she made on cameo? No?
Oh my god. A buddy of my, one of my buddies,
you you sworking the newspaper business. He simon a story
because he knows I'm on cameo and he wanted to
do you wanted to make me feel like a schmuck.
(34:12):
And I'm trying to find it. Uh. Let's see here,
page Dan, page Dan. Sarah Palin made over two hundred
thousand dollars last year on cameo two eleven thousand, five
dollars from personalized videos. Now, keep in mind you get
(34:35):
a percentage of that, but cameo also gets a big chunk.
How much do you think she charges for her cameo?
So you're saying maybe four hundred thousand was made and
she got half of it. Uh, it's it depends on
how you buy the cameo. If you buy it on
an Apple, Apple takes a cut. Cameo takes a cut,
(34:56):
and it's a it's a mess. Uh, let's try to
get here. What do you think the number is, Danny,
what's the average? Right now? Do you know what the
average charges for a cameo? I do not. It ranges
all over the place. There's people under fifty bucks, there's
people that are charging a lot of money. So let's
(35:18):
say a hundred or two d is kind of maybe
a hundred I would say something like that, So I
don't know. Maybe she charges three hundred bucks a pop.
All right, So I'm looking here on Sarah Palin's cameo page,
the former governor of Alaska, and it says here New
(35:39):
York Times best selling author. Anyway, it's just for personal
cameo one hundred and ars, so she's less than you thought.
But for business she charges a thousand plus dollars for
a cameo for a business. So at a hundred, let's
(36:00):
the math. They said there would be no math any again,
but hundred and ninety nine, so let's say we'll just
do two hundred and so that that makes it easy,
So two hundred and then you do the math on that,
well for four for for two hundred dollars times four hundred,
what is that? Eighty thousands something like that? And my run,
(36:23):
But she she cleared two hundred thousand, sharing the money
as well, So yeah, how many of these is she doing?
Holy connoli, that is an insane, insane amount of money.
But it's also an insane amount assuming that came from
mostly personal cameos and not businesses. I was just gonna say,
(36:45):
maybe there were quite a few businesses that enrolled her
and the money started stacking up like that, But then
you ask yourself what business this is? Like I want
her to open up the seminar. Yeah yeah, I need
and I needed in person, just a video, that's all
I need. A video. Well, I am on cameo and
(37:06):
I'm not charging two hundred bucks or a thousand bucks.
It's my price has been pretty consistent at So the
advice you gave we'd band back in the day, you
take that own advice yourself. That is correct. See, I'm
a man of the people wrong, and we did a
lot of those. At the beginning of COVID, we had
(37:27):
a fair amount of those things. Bob Miller, the former
King's announcers on on Cameo. I saw him on there.
He's charging ninety bucks. I'm less than half of that.
Anybody on the Clippers is a half of what Kobe
Bryant is. So anyway, what do you got to promote
any of promote Danny anything coming up here? You want
to promote your at the radio station today? What do
(37:49):
you got going on? I am I'll be sitting in
the producer chair today with Hartman and Shorts, and then
in the evening time I'll be with Brian no the
Weekend No Show with from Salon Sweet and then with
Steve Hartman. If you hang out with Hartman long enough,
you're gonna get a Heisman vote. I think. Now. Anyway,
(38:11):
have a wonderful rest of your Saturday, and we will
be back in the podcast do jo is my friend Vick.
The Brick likes to say on Sunday a brand new
mail bag bursting out of the scenes, So we will
have that for you on Sunday. But to have a
great rest of your Saturday. Thanks for listing later. Skater, Hey,
(38:35):
hey go, what's you think about the war?
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse. The Clearinghouse of Hot
takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with
(00:23):
Ben Maller starts right now in the air everywhere and
a happy Saturday. Back at it in the podcast Dojo,
another edition of The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and
Danny g Radio and we will not shut never. That
(00:46):
will not happen. No matter what happens here. You could
hear that it doesn't matter. That's the sound we dread, Danny,
when when you're talking to cricket, Jiminy cricket, that's not
a good thing. That is not a good thing. But
we're we're back at it again here in a jam
(01:07):
packed Saturday show. I enjoyed the conversation on Friday about
Tom Brady and Drew Brees and Sham Sharania. Uh. There's
some interesting nuggets in the Friday podcast, so I hope
people enjoyed that. I don't care really whether they did
or not, Danny, because I enjoyed it. That's the kind
(01:28):
of stuff I like, talking about the dirt, the gossip
in the media business, and so I enjoyed that a lot. Yeah,
those are your roots. You're like the godfather of that
kind of reporting. Yeah, but I'm becoming old now, so
nobody knows, like the people that are doing it now.
I have no idea that I did it for a
while in the the wild West smoke weed of the
(01:51):
blogger sphere back in the back in the and I'm
only a few bad shows away, Danny from getting back
into the blogger sphere. So people have asked me from
time to time. I'll get emails some people say I
love the website, why don't you bring the website back?
And my initial response is always uh, okay, is there
a dollar amount on that, you know, something like that,
(02:11):
And then and then they say no, there's no there's
no dollar amounting that. And then I I said, well,
it depends what happens with the radio show. So if
the radio show is going well, probably not gonna do it.
But it's changed a lot. And I and Ryan did
mention that Twitter made some changes. The reason I got
out of the blog stuff was because social media killed me.
(02:32):
My traffic. People were just they weren't. They weren't clicking
and clicking on the stuff. So it's interesting. It's crazy
because Ben Mallory dot com was so long ago that
you actually had to use dial up to get Yes,
it was A O L. Yeah, that's when you know
(02:53):
you're the veteran o G. Now you know you have
a an AO L email account. That's a sign year
old when you have an A O L email account. Now,
I have an A O L account for email, but
I only use it for spam. When you go to
when you go to a game Danny and they're like, hey,
you want to get this freeze sweater or towel, you
(03:14):
gotta sign up and what's your email? I'm like, all right,
put that in there. They give you a round of applause,
they give you your item, and and that's it. You
move on. Yeah. I have a very old Yahoo account,
and I think a lot of people have like old Yahoo's,
our old hot mails or old A O L s.
And it's something like really embarrassing now that we're adults,
(03:38):
because we set them up as kids. It's like big
G pimpin at Yahoo dot com. Yeah, for sure, for sure,
my a O l account is the first radio station
I worked as I was at Older But the first
radio station I worked at I had the dial position
(04:01):
is the is the end of the email address. So
I am such a radio loser. So on this podcast
we've got Robert Van Winkle double take the wellness check
and uh and I'm sure Danny that you've got some
amazing factoids to add to this nonsense. Yes, yeah, we
(04:23):
can call mine a buzz in the air a buzz
in the air, but not everywhere, not everywhere, alright. So,
since this is the Saturday podcast, for some reason, people
seem to enjoy the life of Mallory the life of
Danny g And it has been a rather mundane week
as I'm still trying to get back to the non
(04:43):
travel lifestyle and the daily grind at the radio Salt Mine.
But I did have a few developments that I wanted
to share with the class. I drink a ton of water.
I want a camel That's my go to drink. Now
on the weekends, all go crazy to have some lemonade.
I'll go really wild, have a thing of lemonade and
(05:04):
everyone's like, oh, been drinking lemonade. But I do like
to lemonade on the weekends, but during the week it's
mostly water, and I love cold water. They in a
cold water I read somewhere on the internet years ago,
Danny that if you drink cold water, it's actually better
for you that you burn calories. Drinking cold water like
speeds up your metabolism. Yeah. Yeah, so I believe that
(05:26):
it's probably bull crap, but I believe it, and I've
always had cold water. And at the new Mallard mansion,
we guy it's really extravagant refrigerator that my wife picked out.
I had nothing to do with it. The ice machine, though,
is not is not hooked up. They have an ice machine.
It's not working for whatever reason. So I've had to
go old school pour the water into the trays to
(05:47):
get ice. Somehow lost in translation or lost in the move,
I should say, when we moved from the old Mallard
mansion to the north Woods here, I ended up losing
these big ice trays with the blocks of ice. You
can't see my hands if you're listening, but Danny can
see like this big. I mean, they were huge chunks
(06:08):
of ice and it was great because you put two
of those things in there and it lasted like for
twelve hours. You had you had ice water. It's perfect,
basically the opposite of sonics. Little tiny ice cubes. Yeah yeah,
we had blocks of ice as thick as your skull. Yeah. Man,
I could kill someone. I could throw These are the
(06:28):
size of a softball, these things. I so, anyway, I
don't have those anymore. And I just had these two
little piss an ice traight and and and that's it.
I love the word pissing because I worked at w
e I. There was a guy that got in a
hell of a lot of trouble at e I because
he called I think it was Tom Brady's daughter a
(06:49):
piss hand blank my blank and blank you. And he
got in so much trouble for that. But but anyways,
it's it's like many ice cubes. So for some reason,
I don't know how this happened, probably because I was like,
this is but I was gonna keep refilling the ice trays.
So I fell down a rabbit hole on the internet
(07:10):
and I decided I'm gonna crank my game up. And
the result, thanks to Amazon and some purchases that were made.
You can now call me the new iceman name forget
George Gerbin, that old NBA player, because I went down
this this icy path and I am now the proud
(07:31):
owner dame of pretty much all shapes possible of ice
trace And I've not really experimented too much with this,
but I just got them. I have the big block
like I used to have. I have a round ball
ice tray. I can make little diamonds, like mid sized diamonds.
(07:55):
And the one that I got as an active romance
row wose pedal shaped ice. Wow. You pour the water
in and it freezes and it looks like a little rose. Wow.
I'm sure your wife is impressed. Yeah. I mean that's
that's a keeper. That's a big move. That's a we're
sticking together move right there. Good morning, Ben Danny g.
(08:20):
Supposely these things are for whiskey or mixed drinks. And
I found him on and then we're not cheap. Some
of these were pretty expensive. But I plan on dominating
the neighborhood ice game and and hopefully if we don't
have any more of these pandemics or what's the new thing,
that monkey thing that's going around And I saw in
(08:42):
the news this week, get bouncing around some kind of
new illness. If we don't have any of that stuff,
then we will have the holiday party will be back,
and so I I have to get my doctorate and
frozen stuff. And the goal is, since we're talking here
only in May and the holiday party is not of December,
that by then you'll be able to call me Robert
(09:04):
van Winkle as in Vanilla ice, ice, ice baby. That
that will be the move Danny, that that can take
place fo drizzle. Next level would be your initials in
ice cubes. Oh well, either one of my initials would
be be awkward in ice cubes at b M or
bs my middle name. It starts with an S, so
(09:27):
either bs very appropriate. Who knows, I have no idea.
Uh So anyway, so that was the ice the ice
drama rama. I also there was one other things, but
a couple of things that that popped into my head
here the last weekend. So I had another We had
another heat wave, pretty hot for a couple of days
(09:47):
last week. Yeah, I got little hot. So when the
temperature rises, what are we do in California? When the
temperature rises in southern California, where do we go off
our clothes. Well, we do that, and then we head west.
You can only go so far west. But when you
go to the very end of the map is the
mighty Pacific, right, the mighty Pacific Ocean smoke. And so
(10:11):
I found myself back at the Pacific Ocean, and I
do not actually enjoy going in the water. I think
I've talked about this in the past on the podcast,
probably not with you, but I saved that for tropical
looks like I'll go to Hawaii once every five ten
years or whatever, and I'll go in the water. Or
I like, you know what, I like Catalina, which is
off the coast of l A here little island. I
(10:32):
like that. I've been, you've never been. That's a great
It's rather pricey now, but it's kind of a cool
little getaway. You take a boat for an hour long beach, right, yeah,
long beach. Just several locations you can leave from. And
there's probably would maybe even closer for you. I'm not sure,
you have to double check, but yeah, it's great. There's
(10:54):
like one town Avalon in Catalina. They've got a little
stretch of beach. Yeah, they got a team station out there.
Do they is right. I had no idea. I thought
it would be cool if I had, if I had
Colin cowhard money, like I would buy a place on
Catalina and like hang out there on a Weekause I
don't have that kind of money. And I don't have
(11:14):
a boat. And everyone that's ever owned a boat around
me as always said, don't buy a boat. So I
don't have a boat. And have you ever been you
ever been a boat guy? Danny ever hung out with
people that have boats? Just the fishing boat that I
talked about last weekend? Yeah, No, as far as somebody
like owning a boat, keeping it, maintaining it, no, I've
(11:35):
always heard the same thing that you were just saying,
it's not a good investment. Remember when Chick her In
the Laker Broadcaster used to do the commercials for the
boat show. That's right. Yes, I don't know why that
popped in my head. I have no idea, but it's
just stupid things. Yeah. I think of our friend, the
late great Frank Pollock too when it comes to boats.
(11:57):
Oh yeah, Frank the big cod piece. Never heard of him.
Frank Pollock loved he loved the water and boats. And
I always love the fact that Frank Pollock was a
member of a fishing club in Compton, middle aged, tasty,
white guy, Frank Pollock and back in the old days
before Compton became Compton as it's no, you know, kind
(12:22):
of it's modern, modern perspective, but it was. It was
like like fishing places. And he took ice Cube out
on the water before ice Cube was like yeah. They
both looked at the water and they said, yeah, let's go.
So no, I I do like going to Cattline and
I go in the water there. You should. You should
take the Tinderroni, the Queen Tindroni out there. She'd been there.
(12:43):
I bet she's probably been there. She has, Yeah, she
mentioned us going out there. We just haven't got around
to it. But yeah, I would like to see it.
It's a great day trip now you there are hotels
that you could spend the night. It shuts down at
around nine o'clock. There's a movie theater. They a one movie,
one movie. There's a big it's a really cool old
(13:05):
theater which they called the Casino on Catalina and the
Chicago Cubs used to have spring training on that island.
The Wrigley family. That was where they that that was
their land. They still own the Wrigley Cartel. Most of
the island you can't go on because it's it's all
there's buffalo roaming around and craft like that's crazy. So
(13:29):
one of my my hobby on the weekends, I go
down and I aimlessly walk up and down. I wander
up and down the coast while my feet and my
lower legs go split splash. And my wife actually likes
going to the ocean. I don't not here, and so
she was doing anything. I was walking and it was
so hot, the beach was packed. We had a wait
(13:50):
in Lyne to get in the park. It was insane.
So we we we all will meet up every so often.
We have a little pow wow on the tent where
we will will meet showing the ocean. I'll go walking.
But I don't call it a tent. By the way,
then you know what I call it a dressing room. No,
a beach cabana. Doesn't that sound more exotic than just
(14:11):
sounds like you rented it. Yeah, yeah, it's my beach
cabana and uh and I have noticed it is pretty
neat when you close the windows, like the zipper windows
on the side it does feel like you're in a cabana,
like you're in your own little private world. It's kind
of neat. Sounds more exotic that way, anyway. So get
to the point, please, So that the beach was a madhouse.
(14:31):
It looks like it looked like tent city, massive humanity.
Anyone's got a tent and I'm doing my ten thousand steps.
It's like a steeple chase, though. Um Dodge and land
Mine says, a mix a lot of kids mixed with
old people, and so there's a lot of lateral movement
going around. As I'm walking down the beach, and there
the sand castles I could see as far as I
(14:54):
could see, there were sand cows. Kids were having a field,
and I'm traveling by ankle express and I'm walking around.
You're moving my ankle and showing great lateral movement, as
I said. But I get down near the the end
of like one side of where the beach kind of
cut off, and then you had to go back, and
I had to do a double take because they were
(15:14):
probably thirty five or forty kids all making sand castles,
playing in the water, in the ocean, and in the
middle of this sandy like kindergarten type thing. There's a
woman wearing a bikini. But it's not that she was
like miss Universe or anything like that. That's not why
(15:36):
I'm bringing this up. The reason I did a double take, though,
is she standing on these kids or whatever. She's in
the water and she left a hand of God, she
left a vapor trail around her, and she was vaping
while standing. It was very odd to me. I don't know.
I don't know why that did. Like the visuals seemed
very odd, like she couldn't like stop for I don't know.
(15:59):
This is very odd. Like you're in the water, you've
got to bring your vape pen with you into the water. Now,
that's an addict, That's what I'm saying. Right, I'm looking
at something. What are you doing here? I mean, it's
come on, you can't leave it in a tent for
for five minutes and then go back to the go
out of the water and go back and uh, it's
very odd. Yeah, public vapors really bug me because it's
(16:21):
flavored smoke. It think it's okay to blow it in
everybody's face. That is correct, yes, yes, And it's very
the punt there's a pungent smell to it too. You
definitely you can taste it secondhand for sure. Anyway, So
they your world, Danny g let's get down to business.
Enough about me, it's all about you. I'm looking for
(16:43):
my vape pen right now. Yeah, it's it's in your car.
I think you go out your car back in a second, exactly.
I mean it's winding down here. The last day of
school in my district is May quickly coming up on it.
(17:04):
This is gonna be the last week of school. Boy.
You could feel it in the air everywhere on the
campus because the adults are giving up. We're not enforcing
any rules. Uh. It's funny because our dean, he's really good,
and he's really good at, you know, keeping the kids
(17:24):
in line. But yet he's a nice guy. But last
week I overheard him saying, just let him do it.
I've never yeah, I've never heard those words come out
of his mouth before. So that was awesome. A prior
(17:45):
episode of the podcast, we talked about how the girls
already won their petition in their battle over the dress code.
I have a statin night gone on. It's been less
and less closed, more and more smiles and laughter as
we get close to the summertime. It was funny. I
overheard two girls having a conversation during snack time and
(18:08):
one of them said to the other, is your mom
gonna make you go to that art camp again? And
she said, nah, I told my mom I'm not into it.
She said, I have a lot to do. I'm gonna
just stay at home. She's like, I'm gonna reorganize my
bedroom and talk to boys all day she planned out.
(18:29):
It's like, wow, goal, she's got goals right there. Re
organize our bedroom and talk to boys all day on
our computer. Oh. Monday, the eighth graders get to go
on a field trip to Universal Studios. Very cool. But
now I feel like when they get back from that trip,
the rest of the week is gonna be a little
(18:50):
chaotic because teachers and administrators have been holding this trip
over their head for weeks and weeks. They've been saying, uh,
you're gonna go to the dean's office and you are
in jeopardy of not going on the Universal trap. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
that's right. So when this trip is over, they have
(19:13):
nothing to hold over the eighth grader's heads any longer.
You gotta get a carrot on the stick is what
you gotta get it. You get more carrots for one day.
I guess they're gonna say, uh, you're not gonna be
able to graduate with the class. You're not gonna be
able to go to culmination. But then our school is
interesting because the culmination is on Tuesday, and then the
(19:35):
kids got to come back to school for a couple
more days, by congratulations, and we'll see you tomorrow at class.
What's up with that? That's bad. That seems like somebody
goofed up the planning on that. I think it's because
there's so many graduations and culminations going on across the
board that they tried to put theirs on a different
(19:56):
day as not to compete with the more important graduations
like high school and you know, some of the other
classes that might be graduating. Because let's be honest, this
whole thing about kindergarteners walking and getting diploma, yes, it
is a thing now, yes, And the thing come, why
(20:17):
did that become a thing? It's been a thing for
a little while now. What I remember from graduating what
we call junior high back then, Yeah, the elementary school
pushed us all out onto the black Top. They played
Whitney Houston the greatest level all on the loud school
and I saw a couple of elementary school teachers crying
(20:41):
and that was it. There were no parents there. It
was very awkward and that was it. Then they're like,
by you guys are out of here. See uh And
it was the last day of school. Now there's chairs,
there's tickets. The family has to figure out who's going
to get to attend because there's a limited in my
on the seats. And so it's very similar to graduating
(21:04):
high school. So every but every grade, like just changing grades,
you get a pat on the back. Is that how
that works? Like going from it if you're going from
like second to third grade, do you get something? Do
you know that? Yeah? You only have a shining moment
when you're moving over to a different campus. Okay, yeah,
so yeah, I guess that's fine. It's like what the
(21:25):
parents like nowadays. We'll see what happens this final week.
I'm a little anxious because, you know, walking around the
campus and trying to figure out how to enforce things
or not enforce things, or just let things go. Like
I walked into a classroom last Friday to give this
important slip to a teacher, and they were watching the
(21:48):
movie forty two about Jackie Robinson. The teacher paused the
movie because she was kind of embarrassed that she was
slacking because they're not supposed to have any movies on
until next week. Okay. He took the slip from me,
and she said, oh, we're talking about social injustices and
and I'm like, I'm not your boss, it's okay. That's
(22:12):
oh yeah, and she pressed play as I walked out
of the room, and I'm like, yeah, I don't care.
If it was up to me, you could have started
movies the week before last week. Yeah, you're announcing you're
not going to be snitching to anybody, not at all. Teachers,
go ahead and play movies all this week. Yes, knock
(22:33):
yourself out. Now are you going to Universal Studios? And
you get Do you get to tag along to the
field trip? Danny? You get to go? Yeah? I found
out that I could have I needed to talk to
Mr Whiteman. Um, I had no idea. Somebody told me
last week. They're like, oh yeah, yeah, all you needed
to do was talk to him a few weeks ago,
(22:53):
and you could have been one of the chaperones. Yeah,
I didn't know nobody. Nobody gave me that memo. That's wrong, man, wrong,
it is wrong. You should be able to go to that.
That's uh. I guess next year, now, you know, in
the future. Exactly, I know how to hook it up now.
So is it one of those things where the kids
go for like three hours and then have to come back,
and then they get to go longer than that. I
(23:14):
got to the because you could spend a lot of
time in traffic just getting the Universal studios. I would
think even no, you're not that far away where your
school is located. The tread at a good point. I
think they're gonna line the buses up pretty early on
Monday morning, so they'll try to get there when the
park opens. Yeah, and then it's just kind of a
free for all. They let the kids run wild and
(23:36):
they have meet up points. I saw them having a
strategic meeting last week amongst the adults about how one
was gonna be with each group of the kids. Yeah,
good luck with that. Yeah, exactly exactly. They're gonna ditch
the adults. No, no, Now, do the kids have to
pay to go or is this the Universal studios doing
some marketing, realizing these kids when they're thirty and forty
(23:58):
years old will be coming back the Universal studios or
are they charging No, the kids don't have to pay.
I believe the school is paying the park at a
reduced price. Got you. Yeah, it's good marketing, like the
greatest You run a business, and if you can convince kids,
get kids hooked, and then they become adults. That's what
(24:19):
everyone wants, right McDonald's, the Happy Meal, the greatest thing ever,
the Happy Meal. Kids grow up, they're like you flash
back to when you got a little cheesy toy from
a movie in a Happy Meal when you were eight
years old. And then you're forty years old, you're like, oh,
I go back to McDonald's. It brings back memories. No, no,
you're right. To this day, I have people tell me, um,
(24:40):
oh man, I remember a graduation night at Disneyland. I
saw Stevie be on stage and stuff like that. So yeah,
people have lifelong memories of sober grad night, graduation night.
There field trips, and those field trips are some of
the most memorable times you'll have when you're in school. Yeah,
you feel like you're escaping from jail like you've you've
(25:03):
got you've been released, and you get to go with
all your contemporaries, like all your buddies, and it's it's
pretty it's pretty good hustle. Remember when I was a kid,
the Dodgers had a Kid's club and they gave you
a little membership card and they gave you like a
bunch of stuff for like ten bucks or something. It
was ridiculous. I don't even know if they still have that,
but it was it was cool. I didn't want to
(25:25):
mention a radio friend of mine, Bob Fesco. I go
on to show every Thursday in Kansas City Royals having
their Problems on the road. I'm Ben Mallock. So we're buddies.
He texts me. You know, we go, we go back
and forth. So he sends me a message this week
and out of the blue, he's like, hey, uh, he
(25:46):
asked me about caller X. I'm a caller to the show.
He said he was gonna be traveling. My buddy Bob
said he was gonna be traveling and he wanted to
know if this cat caller X was still around. And
I don't know why I did this, dandy, but for
some reason, in a moment of weakness against my better judgment,
(26:12):
I dialed this person up. Now, calor X, who is
calor X who received a Mallard show wellness check? Color
X is who weed Man? I love you? Yeah, My
(26:35):
guy Bob is going. He's in Miami this weekend, and
he called me up during the week He's like, hey,
I want to know what's going on with that guy
weed Man Hippie better known as Billy Blanks. He had
to call himself a weed man h because there's another
Billy Blanks. So first, so he sends me a message.
He does a morning show in Kansas City, so he's
on after I'm off the air and sends me a message.
(26:56):
So for some reason, I'm like, all right, I haven't
heard from weed Man. I went on social media to
see he hadn't posted anything since March, so I thought, well,
maybe he's dead. What happened to him? And so in
the wee hours of the morning, ring ring, ring, ring, ring, ring,
and ring on the fourth ring, Danny, I get a
groggy but not so groovy hello like that. The next
(27:21):
thing out of the mouth is blocked number and uh.
And it turns out he was half asleep. But weed
Man Hippie is alive and well, and he was rambled.
He was the rambling man Danny. And so I tell him,
I'm like, hey, I'm calling you, and I haven't talked
to you a while, and you don't call it show anymore.
(27:41):
But my guy, my radio buddies gonna be mi ami
And he wanted he was asking about you. So what
do you think weed Man did after that point in
the conversation. What do you think he did? Ask you
for money? Da Na name Ning Ning. Yeah. He then
proceeds to give me the sob story about how he
has no money, he lost his identification, he lost his
(28:04):
bus pass. Uh, he claims, since he lost his identification,
and he's give me the whole song and dance, like
the full laundry list. He's like, well, I lost my
I D and I have no way to travel, and
I can't get a new bus pass until I have
an I D. And I don't have an I D,
and I can't get an I D until I have
a bus pass. And I have no food, and I
have no money because I lost You know, he's on
(28:27):
the government. He's got one of those cards from the
government where he gets money whatever for food. But he
didn't have that, and so I mean he was right
away within seconds wall half asleep. He's he's reading me
the Riot Act up to his old tricks and uh
and yeah, hand to god. He said, gmail me somebody
is what he said. That was the response from good
(28:52):
old man. I'm and I'm telling him like, oh, you're
sleep and you're not gonna remember. I'm gonna remember, and
uh and I'm like, oh, I wish you good luck.
And then he kind of got sarcastic like oh, yeah,
I'm sure you do like that kind of but I didn't.
So it went well. It was a very pleasant conversation. Yeah, yeah,
he's still upset. You were with me when all this
went down, I think, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We weed
(29:16):
Man wanted to rent out a theater in Vegas and
have a one man Well I guess it would be
a two man show, Me and weed Man. He came
into some money. Remember how much he was gonna charge
per ticket? Oh my god, man, he wanted to charge
Mallard Militia members like a hundred and fifty ahead. Yeah,
so not only do you have to go to Vegas
and spend money on a air fare and all that.
(29:38):
But he was convinced that he was gonna sell the
joint out and he was gonna make all this money
and he'd performed and it was and I explained to him,
I said, listen, and I've been to these events and
I love the listeners, but they're not going to spend
any money on this week man, I tried to explain.
I tried to reason with him. Yeah, we tried to
convince him to do ten dollar tickets because we said
(30:00):
go with quantity over quality, because we know your act
is not going to be quality. But if you go
ten bucks, you can load people in there, kind of
like what the USFL has been trying to do. Yeah,
you want to get people in your business. You want
to get people, and then if you charge you it's
like a lot of places now they have a one
rate and then there's different tiers for certain perks that
(30:23):
you can get, like I don't know, maybe you can
can you know, dumpster dive with weed Man for two
or something like that. Uh, I'm kidding, okay, But but
the point is that he was There was no budging
at all, and it was s t f U University
shut the funk up. That was That was weed man
right there, just going on on, yammering away. Ah, he's alive.
(30:47):
I would not say he's well to this day. He
claimed he put some deposit down that he lost and
he blames you for losing that money. Yes, that is correct. Yes,
And he got very angry and send me a bunch
of nasty stuff on social media, which is in line
with a lot of these guy blind Scott has sent
me some very disgusting things over the years. But listen,
(31:11):
it's part of the gig. That's what happened. Uh. Now,
I wanted to mention also the backscratcher. Unfortunately, Danny, I
went and looked, you're now this is the bit. We
didn't do this last week. I don't think right, I
don't think we did this last Now the travelog which
explains a lot, and I was gone the week before,
and you put the best stuff together, so you know,
it's our weekly tip of the on air light to
the loyal minions who support the show by posting a
(31:34):
nice review. And so I went to the fifth hour
Apple podcast page, the thing that management actually checks and
bupkiss nothing zero we shuck again. Uh, not a single
post at all, well, you know what this is. That's
(32:00):
the Apple podcast folks saying, you know what, man is
traveling and he's off right now, and be off right
now too. But it's time for the podcast reviewers to
get back to work now it is. And we failure, right,
We failed to promote this the last couple of weeks
and so there has been no new review for almost
(32:23):
a month. In fact, if we don't get a review today,
this being the twenty one day of May on Saturday,
so we don't get a review today or tomorrow, then Monday,
I believe, is the one month anniversary. It was April
was the last one we got. So so try better,
(32:43):
do better, be better. That's the that's the way. But
we do appreciate it, and and I know it's a pain
in the butt and all that stuff, but it does
help us out the fifth Hour podcast page and just
put something nice on there and then we're good to go.
All right, that's all we need. Yes, all we gotta
do is let Pierre know that there's no actually there
and all the arms Oh that's right, you know. Once
(33:05):
alf the alien o Pineer finds out about that, he'll
be like, oh hell yeah, and then all of a sudden,
it'll be on like Donkey Kong, and he'll he'll see
he has a bugle. Pierre in Springfield, mass I'm convinced
he's got a bugle, and he calls in the militia
whenever I see that. And then and then he makes
(33:30):
he makes a whistle, you know, he blows the horn there,
and then all of a sudden, a bunch of people
come running out and all that stuff. So thank you
in advance, because I know there'll be a few after
hearing this. Yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure people will
help us out. And I'm also on cameo if you want.
I was somebody sent me a story that Sarah Palin,
(33:52):
the former politician from Alaska, never heard of him. Did
you see how much money she made on cameo? No?
Oh my god. A buddy of my, one of my buddies,
you you sworking the newspaper business. He simon a story
because he knows I'm on cameo and he wanted to
do you wanted to make me feel like a schmuck.
(34:12):
And I'm trying to find it. Uh. Let's see here,
page Dan, page Dan. Sarah Palin made over two hundred
thousand dollars last year on cameo two eleven thousand, five
dollars from personalized videos. Now, keep in mind you get
(34:35):
a percentage of that, but cameo also gets a big chunk.
How much do you think she charges for her cameo?
So you're saying maybe four hundred thousand was made and
she got half of it. Uh, it's it depends on
how you buy the cameo. If you buy it on
an Apple, Apple takes a cut. Cameo takes a cut,
(34:56):
and it's a it's a mess. Uh, let's try to
get here. What do you think the number is, Danny,
what's the average? Right now? Do you know what the
average charges for a cameo? I do not. It ranges
all over the place. There's people under fifty bucks, there's
people that are charging a lot of money. So let's
(35:18):
say a hundred or two d is kind of maybe
a hundred I would say something like that, So I
don't know. Maybe she charges three hundred bucks a pop.
All right, So I'm looking here on Sarah Palin's cameo page,
the former governor of Alaska, and it says here New
(35:39):
York Times best selling author. Anyway, it's just for personal
cameo one hundred and ars, so she's less than you thought.
But for business she charges a thousand plus dollars for
a cameo for a business. So at a hundred, let's
(36:00):
the math. They said there would be no math any again,
but hundred and ninety nine, so let's say we'll just
do two hundred and so that that makes it easy,
So two hundred and then you do the math on that,
well for four for for two hundred dollars times four hundred,
what is that? Eighty thousands something like that? And my run,
(36:23):
But she she cleared two hundred thousand, sharing the money
as well, So yeah, how many of these is she doing?
Holy connoli, that is an insane, insane amount of money.
But it's also an insane amount assuming that came from
mostly personal cameos and not businesses. I was just gonna say,
(36:45):
maybe there were quite a few businesses that enrolled her
and the money started stacking up like that, But then
you ask yourself what business this is? Like I want
her to open up the seminar. Yeah yeah, I need
and I needed in person, just a video, that's all
I need. A video. Well, I am on cameo and
(37:06):
I'm not charging two hundred bucks or a thousand bucks.
It's my price has been pretty consistent at So the
advice you gave we'd band back in the day, you
take that own advice yourself. That is correct. See, I'm
a man of the people wrong, and we did a
lot of those. At the beginning of COVID, we had
(37:27):
a fair amount of those things. Bob Miller, the former
King's announcers on on Cameo. I saw him on there.
He's charging ninety bucks. I'm less than half of that.
Anybody on the Clippers is a half of what Kobe
Bryant is. So anyway, what do you got to promote
any of promote Danny anything coming up here? You want
to promote your at the radio station today? What do
(37:49):
you got going on? I am I'll be sitting in
the producer chair today with Hartman and Shorts, and then
in the evening time I'll be with Brian no the
Weekend No Show with from Salon Sweet and then with
Steve Hartman. If you hang out with Hartman long enough,
you're gonna get a Heisman vote. I think. Now. Anyway,
(38:11):
have a wonderful rest of your Saturday, and we will
be back in the podcast do jo is my friend Vick.
The Brick likes to say on Sunday a brand new
mail bag bursting out of the scenes, So we will
have that for you on Sunday. But to have a
great rest of your Saturday. Thanks for listing later. Skater, Hey,
(38:35):
hey go, what's you think about the war?
Host
Ben Maller
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