Surviving Panic Attacks

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
For thirty five years, Cindy Stumpo has been a female
homebuilder with a passion for design, a mastery of detail,
and a commitment to her crack. With daughter Samantha Stumpo
by her side, I don't need my whole.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
Family on a date with me.

Speaker 3 (00:11):
That's a good note.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
It's godamn weird. See.

Speaker 1 (00:13):
Stumpo Development is the only second generation female construction company
in the country.

Speaker 3 (00:18):
You're crazy, You're a wacko, You're insane. I mean, it
just doesn't end together.

Speaker 1 (00:24):
Cindy and Samantha welcome guest to explore the world of construction,
real estate, development, design and more. Unpredictable.

Speaker 3 (00:31):
Every time I think I know what you want, you'd
switch it out.

Speaker 1 (00:33):
But that's what makes your houses all your day. Discuss
anything that happens between the roof and the foundation. Nothing
is off limits.

Speaker 3 (00:39):
You truly do care about everybody. She can yell at
chi can.

Speaker 1 (00:42):
Scream, but when you get her alone, she's the best
person on the planet. Cindy Stumpo is tough as nails.

Speaker 2 (00:49):
Welpa, since Stubboro tells nails on wv Z, we definitely
know who Cindy Stumpo is. Who's this lovely beautiful woman
industry right now?

Speaker 4 (01:00):
Thank you. My name is Linda.

Speaker 2 (01:02):
Linda. How did you end up in my studio?

Speaker 4 (01:05):
I actually contacted you because you had casually mentioned that
you had suffered with panic attacks?

Speaker 2 (01:13):
How'd that come out?

Speaker 4 (01:14):
How did it come out?

Speaker 2 (01:15):
In?

Speaker 1 (01:15):
Like?

Speaker 2 (01:16):
How'd you and I talk?

Speaker 5 (01:17):
Like?

Speaker 4 (01:17):
I don't know?

Speaker 2 (01:17):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (01:17):
No, no, no, I was never talked.

Speaker 2 (01:20):
Okay, so I've had a conversation till right now.

Speaker 4 (01:23):
That's correct.

Speaker 2 (01:24):
So how did you find me?

Speaker 4 (01:27):
I found you because I am a fan of your show,
and I listened to many of your shows, and you
casually mentioned frequently that you suffer with panic attacks. And
I suffered from my first panic attack in March of
this year. And once you're diagnosed with something like that,

(01:47):
you want to find out everything you can about how
you can get through it and what's the best way.
So therefore I called the show.

Speaker 2 (01:57):
And you spoke to my producer.

Speaker 4 (01:58):
I did, and I said, did Cindy do a specific
show on panic attacks? Or would she? How can I
get more information because I've experienced them and I need help.

Speaker 2 (02:13):
So you want help from somebody that can't find help
on their own. Let me just get this story straight, right,
it's not alone. Okay, So basically, you've been listening to
a show I don't know how many years. We've been
on the air, for seven years, and yes, I do talk
about panic attacks, and now they that conversation seemed foreign
to you. Then all of a sudden, boom, come on,

(02:33):
you get whacked with a panic attack.

Speaker 4 (02:37):
Not really foreign to me because I am a flight
attendant and.

Speaker 2 (02:41):
I have you know, that's my other fare right, yeah, okay,
they come with him.

Speaker 4 (02:46):
After this, Yes, and so I was familiar with them
from what my passengers had experienced.

Speaker 2 (02:54):
But I you, you can only understand them until you've
lived through one yourself. That's the truth. I can tell
tell you. We can talk about them, I can tell you,
but until you actually feel it, it's kind of just words.
And you got empathy. You're a flight the tenant. You're
understanding that person as a fear, but you don't understand
that fear because you don't have that fear until now.
Until now. So now, like I said, March hit you

(03:17):
and you got schmeckled. You got hit by a panic attack.
I did, and your whole world went upside.

Speaker 4 (03:23):
Down absolutely very quickly.

Speaker 2 (03:26):
And I can tell you how you felt so. Bottom
line is I learned early on, at twenty six, that
there was not many people I could talk to about
them because people weren't talking about them because they were
embarrassed of them. Yes, so I went out and I
bought every book there was, right, going back to clear
weeks from the fifties or sixties, right, and then literally

(03:49):
carried a book around like a bible. But at the
end of the day, I realized I didn't have anything
in common with these people in these books, which was
really freaking me out right, like why is this not
making sense? Why don't I I wasn't relating to anybody
in these books. Then I realized, I'm putting these books
down because I wasn't sexually molested, I wasn't physically abused,

(04:09):
I wasn't emotionally abused. I had good parents, I had
whatever normal is not. We weren't Ousie and Harriet by
no means. But then again, Ozzie and Harriet weren't Ozzy
and Harriet. But whatever normal was normal, like just normal.
Put your play clothes on, go play, you know, swap
a short bridge, go play in traffic. Okay, I'll go
play in traffic, you know, normal stuff. Our parents said

(04:29):
to us, I would not like stabbing ourselves in the eyes.
Oh my god, I should be on a psyke's chair
and I should not be having panic attacks from that.
So with that being said, I found somebody from a
friend and she said something to me. She said, Cindy,
you're not going to talk and tell me what you have.
I'm going to tell you what you have. I said, okay,

(04:51):
And then when she could explain to me what I
was feeling, I knew she knew what she was talking about.
It's a big difference. If I told to her she's
going to agree with me. Oh yeah, I have that.
Oh yeah, I get that too. When she told me
what she had was the day I stopped running from
doctor to doctor. The doctor thinking it was aneurism, I'm

(05:12):
having a heart problem, having whatever, you know, your brain
starts right and cook her crazy. And that's the day
I realized, Okay, Cindy, you can keep running from doctor
to doctor and you keep coming up healthy as a horse,
but you're frozen, and you're you know, stuck at a
red light, and when you can't function and you can't
function right right, and your light hand and you're dizzy

(05:34):
and you think, Okay, my heart's pounding my list sole
yet I'm getting you know, light headed. Everybody has them
a little differently, but she was my key. When she
explained it to me, I went, okay, this woman gets it,
she gets it. Okay, great. We had a great conversation,
but I never called her back. It was the one time,
one time only conversation and it was actually Andrew Rubin's

(05:56):
friend that Andrew Rubin connected me to never need to
talk to you again. Because I knew what she was saying.
I understood, and I had to figure out, how do
you do? What do you do with these things? Right?

Speaker 4 (06:07):
And hence I called you?

Speaker 2 (06:08):
And so now you end up on my show. I
can tell you this the first one you never ever
ever forget. I don't know if you end up in
the emergency room. You did. Yes, you can't move your
head up and down. We're not on TV, we're on radio.

Speaker 4 (06:24):
Oh I apologize, you ain't. It's empty in here anyway, Okay, Yes, we.

Speaker 2 (06:30):
All have empty brains lately. I think I had to
do with COVID and all the vaccination shots everything else
we took. So March hits up on you you're somewhere. I'm
at home, okay, next thing you know, you're calling nine
one one.

Speaker 4 (06:41):
No. So I'm at home and I feel a little nauseous.
It's in the evening. I get up out of bed
to go to the bathroom and I realize I'm really dizzy.
I can't walk. I can't walk to the bathroom, so
I have to lay down and unfortunately.

Speaker 2 (06:59):
Let me hold you there felt like your legs were
going to give out on you, and you were just
going to go down. You're going to faint exactly, and
you had to grab the wall.

Speaker 4 (07:06):
And I think, yes, went right down on the floor,
but I still had that need to vomit. And there
I was laying there on my wood floors vomity, and
then I started to shake profusely, and I had no
idea what was going on. And it got scarier when
I could not get up and walk, when I continued

(07:29):
to vomit, and then to see my body shake.

Speaker 2 (07:33):
So you did have Okay, then you went to the hospital.

Speaker 1 (07:38):
No.

Speaker 4 (07:38):
So then the next day I called my daughter, who's
twenty six, and I said.

Speaker 2 (07:43):
We'll call our daughters, but go ahead. It's a daughter
mother thing.

Speaker 5 (07:46):
Did you go back to sleep.

Speaker 4 (07:48):
I no, I just laid there I mean, yes, next
to the vomit. Yeah, it wasn't very pleasant.

Speaker 2 (07:54):
But the next day, but did you think maybe had
a stomach bug or something.

Speaker 4 (07:57):
Yeah, yes, I had no idea. I thought maybe it
was the flu. So the next day I called my
daughter and I said, you're not gonna believe what happened.
And I said, if that happens again, I'm calling you,
you come over. Okay. She said okay, And sure enough,
the same thing happened the following evening, same time, about

(08:18):
the same time. Yeah, in the evening, and she came
into my place and she lay there with me and
comforted me, rubbed me, encouraged me. Mom, you're gonna be okay.
You've got this. You've been through more. Not knowing what
I had, but just comforted me and not feeling alone

(08:40):
and hearing words of encouragement made me feel a lot better.

Speaker 2 (08:45):
So she's a safe person. Yes, So people that have
PIC attacks will develop what they call this save people. Yes,
where they know that they have. You since March, have
you walked anywhere and all of a sudden got that
lightheaded feeling like you're going to go down? What does
it only happen in your house.

Speaker 4 (09:04):
Oh, it happens. It happened on the airplane, it happened
at Layover Hotels.

Speaker 5 (09:10):
No.

Speaker 4 (09:11):
The first signs were.

Speaker 2 (09:13):
Wait minute, Okay, there's ross with the with the clock thingy. Okay,
we're going to break callback daughter. Okay, I'm Sidney Stumbling.
He listened to Tupper Nails on w BZ.

Speaker 3 (09:22):
And sponsored by Flora Decor, National Lumber and Village bag.

Speaker 2 (09:27):
Cale.

Speaker 4 (09:32):
He was handsome and she was.

Speaker 2 (09:39):
He welcome back to Sidney Stumble tump his nails on WBZ,
and I'm here with Sammy, and I'm here with Your
name is Lynn. Lynn. You're going to keep introducing yourself,
all right, So we heard how the start, how you started. Now,
I me personally didn't start that way. If I was
throwing up, I would think, okay, I have food poison

(10:00):
or they had a stomach bug.

Speaker 5 (10:02):
But you, I almost think it's scary that this happened
to her in her house, where you most people feel
the safest.

Speaker 2 (10:07):
Yeah, but again, let me ask this question. You've been
through COVID, you've been through flight attendant. I mean you're
a flight attendant. You've seen some nasty things up in
the air.

Speaker 4 (10:19):
Nine to eleven, the shoe bombing. I was at the
Boston marathon.

Speaker 2 (10:24):
So and then one day you just wake up.

Speaker 4 (10:27):
Yes, okay, And.

Speaker 2 (10:31):
You know these things aren't always something from your childhood
or your stresses you're going under. Sometimes they're genetic, as
they may have said that to you. No, okay, mother, father,
either side, depression, bipolar anxiety, anything that you know of. No, sure,
they hit it really well. That generations, the Secret generation. Yeah,

(10:55):
the Secret generation.

Speaker 3 (10:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (10:58):
Do you recall as a kid and mother, father, anything
that seems odd to norm now that you're an adult.

Speaker 4 (11:08):
No, not really. I mean they lived a very routine,
safe life, and I'm kind of out there all over,
you know, being single, moving all over, traveling.

Speaker 2 (11:22):
So okay, So you think life's just all of a
sudden attacking you right now.

Speaker 4 (11:26):
Well, I mean there are certain things that led up
to it.

Speaker 2 (11:30):
Okay, so you know you can pinpoint then what happened
and how they came out.

Speaker 4 (11:37):
No, okay, So here I am and we're not sure,
but I'm feeling better. I'm feeling like I can go
back to work, and that's what I do. I figured
that was a fluke thing. It was probably the flu
still not knowing. I get to the airport to go
to a trip and I don't feel well. I start sweating,
I start shaking. I'm thinking I can't do.

Speaker 2 (11:59):
This, and the negative thoughts stop running through your head. Yes,
fight a flight, fight, fight, your brain's.

Speaker 4 (12:08):
Going keep going thought.

Speaker 2 (12:11):
Dreadful. Yes, that especially being Is it a thought that
you're going to die? No, see, that's what a pag
attack is. Okay, but pag attack is a fear of dying.
Don't think you're dying right there and there, right there there.
So we're going to figure out what you do.

Speaker 4 (12:28):
Have, oh exactly. So I go down to my operations
and management looks at me and says, Lynn, you look awful.
I said, I feel awful. I'm sweating, I'm dizzy. I
don't feel well. I cannot go on this light. I said, fine.
Do you want us to call the paramedics? Of course,

(12:50):
I said no, I'll be fine. They took me into
the back room, a conference room. The paramedics came. They
checked me out perfectly. You're fine. Management said, you're not
driving home. We're going to get you an uber. I
got home felt the same symptoms that I did before,
dizzy vomiting, shaking, and I called my safe person, my daughter,

(13:15):
and she says, Mom, I've had it with this. You're
walking to the er. So I live across the street
from Mass General. Yeah, So I walked to Mass General
and I walk in and I said, I don't feel well.
These are my symptoms. So for four and a half
hours they check me out and they said everything's fine.

(13:36):
I said, I might be dehydrated. That happens a lot
when you fly and you're on the go. And I
lost my father two weeks earlier, and I thought I
was taking care of him, not me. So the last
thing they did was hook me up to an IV
and sent me on my merry way.

Speaker 2 (13:56):
But there was nothing wrong with you hot. There was
nothing causing you dizziness at all. Did they tell you
run low blood low blood pressure?

Speaker 4 (14:03):
Nope, everything was hot.

Speaker 2 (14:05):
What's your blood pressure?

Speaker 4 (14:07):
Oh, it's it's low, but it's it's good. It's healthy.

Speaker 2 (14:10):
It's not No, low is not healthy. There's always gotta
be salt with me wherever I go, because I do
run low. So if I drop a point all of
a sudden, I get wobbly legs, I get nauseous, I
get light headed, I get dizzy. So I'll just take
a shot of salt, okay and get my blood pressure
back up. All right, But it doesn't matter because I've

(14:32):
already put the thought in my head. Meaning instead of
me saying, okay, Cindy, you have your blood pressure just dropped,
you got light headed, you got dizzy, this is normal. No, no, no,
Cindy's brain goes right to the to the end, like no, no,
this is the big one. I'm coming here it is.
I'm having the heart attack, I'm having the stroke. I'm

(14:53):
dying right here, right now. There's the difference. You don't
it doesn't seem like you have what what I have
is called this panic attacks. So what I have is
what they call panic disorder. Okay, So some people have
a panic attack here or the yere, they're getting a divorce,
they lose a family member. It's situational, it's a situational

(15:16):
time in their life. They're going to have panic attacks.

Speaker 4 (15:18):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (15:19):
Then is what they call, as I have been explained
to by many saying, you have panic disorder. I mean,
these things aren't going away, so you're going to learn
to live with them or keep fighting them. Either way,
it's exhausting.

Speaker 4 (15:32):
Yes it is.

Speaker 2 (15:33):
But when I was twenty six years old and I
went and sat on this woman's cheer and my mother said,
go in, tell the whole truth, nothing but the truth,
and you'll get better, right, Okay, Mom, I'm going to
do that. All right. I'm doing that, and the woman's
looking at me and she's like, well that wasn't normal.
Well this wasn't normal and that wasn't normal. I'm like, lady,
I don't know where you grew up, but like it's

(15:54):
normal to me. So you and I on grooven here.
So we're just going to call this over. Because I
asked her two questions. I said this, this is a psychiatrist.

Speaker 4 (16:07):
I know what you were talking about.

Speaker 2 (16:08):
But I knew what she was thinking.

Speaker 4 (16:10):
I was like, you be my safe person.

Speaker 2 (16:13):
She was a psychiatrist, and MD, how much I know
what your brain is? Okay, so there's my brain because
you got me off something different. But bottom line was,
I walked out and I said to her, I've asked
you if these could be genetic. You said no. I
asked you if they could be hormonal. You said no.
Well in birth and years this stuff happens, and genetic.

(16:35):
My mom and my grandmother on my maternal side had them.
And you're telling me this impossible. She said, impossible. Panic attacks,
Cindy are trauma. I said, okay, well I got no trauma,
so you and I had done. She said, we have
fifteen minutes. Let they go have fun. I'm out. I left.
My mom and dad and my ex husband was they

(16:56):
are waiting for me to come out, and I said,
this woman's crazy and I'm listened to her. So we left.
She called me up at I was forty six years old.
So remember I started with her at twenty six the
first time. I'm now forty six Foroy seven Tough as
Nails on HGTV. She watched the show and she called

(17:16):
me and she said, could I please speak to Cindy.
I said, this is Cindy. She said, this is doctor
blah blah blah, and I said, I'm sorry, do I
know you? She goes, well, probably you probably don't remember me,
or but I was the doctor you came to at
twenty six years old, and you left my office. You
told me I've I think you said, I was, I
have a lot to learn in life or something whatever

(17:36):
you said. And I never threw away your file. I
kept your file, and then about a year later, I
got another woman with your personality, a bit older than you,
but very headstrong. She kind of told me the same
thing she'said this this is over. You're not paying attention,
you're not listening. And then I said to myself, what
do these two women have in common? They're very both

(17:58):
their strong personality, they get a lot in common. What
am I missing here? So she said to me, I
went down the study of hormonal and genetic and I
got some good news and bad news. And by the way,
you were right. I go, well, I don't need you
to tell me that now, Maam, I said, I knew
a doc whatever I said, because now I can google
all this. Right. She goes, but I've got some good

(18:19):
news and bad news citing and I said, well, well,
give me the bad news first, because who wants to
the good news first? And you give me the bad news.
That's like smile. And then I hit over there with
a baseball bet right. She goes, well, let me put
you this weight. Are you in menopause? I said no,
I'm not. She goes, are you in perimenopause? I said no,
I'm not. She said, well, that's kind of strange. You're
forty eight now, yeah, well, I'm not well when you

(18:40):
go through it, finally, they're either going to just go
away or they're going to get even worse. I so
what seems to be the more she goes there isn't
right now. It seems to be fifty to fifty. So
I hope and pray that when you do go through menopause,
they go away. Oh no, fifty five COVID came and

(19:02):
these things went cuckoo cuckoo crazy, and I went, Okay,
I guess I would. I didn't draw the lucky straw
on this one, you though, So that's how my pig
attacks are. That's how long they've been here. That's my story. Lightheaded,
dizzy and think I'm going to die? Now you take it.
Do we have any of the same feelings before we
go to break?

Speaker 4 (19:25):
Lightheaded, dizzy, weak and what's controlling my body?

Speaker 2 (19:33):
Old debts? Okay, there go hold that thought. This is
simmy stumpy you listening top of Neils on WBZ and
we'll be right down.

Speaker 3 (19:39):
Sponsored by Pillow Windows of Boston next day Molding and
Kennedy Carpet.

Speaker 4 (19:44):
Can Well, maybe there you stay.

Speaker 2 (19:57):
With your little hair and welcome to say stumpboat tapas
nails on WBZ, go ahead and finished. You were just
saying yes.

Speaker 4 (20:07):
So I'm going to tell you a little bit about
after you in your head go back to I'm in
my head?

Speaker 2 (20:12):
Yeah, what happens in your head?

Speaker 4 (20:13):
In my head, what I found out were my thoughts,
my thoughts of feeling less than and that could have
come from my family as far as being raised in
a very strict German family of overachievers, and I was

(20:37):
more the care free one, and therefore I wasn't going
to make anything of my life. So that all came
to a head when my father passed away, and I
held it down and then it started to rear its
head again. But I'll tell you a quick story, so

(20:58):
it wasn't dehydral. I went back on the plane and
flew a four day trip and the symptoms came up
on the third day, vomiting lightheadedness. Went to the hotel,
asked my crew to put me in a wheelchair. I
wheeled myself up to the room and I have one

(21:19):
day to get home and I can do this. I
got home the next day, I said enough of this,
what's going on? I went to my primary care explained
about the dizziness in my head and she said, Lynn,
you have vertigo. I said, oh, there goes my career.
She said, you need to see an NT and you're

(21:40):
not going to fly until you see the ANT. I
went to mass general your nose and throat. I saw
a nurse practitioner. He said, tell me a little bit
about your dizzy spells. Is it in your head or
is the room spinning? I said, it's in my head.
He says, you don't have vertigo. You're having panic attacks.

Speaker 2 (22:03):
I got that, and again I went to the inte.
They put the hot water in one side. Did you
have that hot water? Then cold water? And then you're
actually spinning on the chair. You go and stop this.
I did the same thing I told you, went to
every doctor. You don't have vertigo. Does the room spin? Lin, No,
it doesn't. You are just not feeling like you're on
your feet. There's a big difference when you do this

(22:25):
real fast. So I just did do you do this?

Speaker 1 (22:28):
No?

Speaker 2 (22:29):
You don't grab for something, you don't let go.

Speaker 5 (22:32):
No.

Speaker 2 (22:32):
So then if you felt vertigo or light headed, the
normal thing to do, even if you're light headed is
to grab something or somebody. But you don't do that either. No,
but I was looking for you got some screw. I'm
trying him. Man, I don't know what those are, but
I know one thing. If you feel like you're gonna

(22:52):
fall down.

Speaker 5 (22:53):
But what do you do when you feel when you
feel dizzy in your head?

Speaker 4 (22:55):
Well, first of all, when you're just cheese, no, yea
to a point up against a wall. But my body
shuts down, and as it did on the plane, I
start feeling dizzy. It affects I'm throwing up. My crew
members are saying, you've got the flu. Stay away from me.

(23:16):
I'm like, no, I'm going to be fine. But I
guess I'm coming to the perspective of nobody properly diagnosed
me for a while, and all I wanted to do
was get better. So when the fellow said, you're having
panic attacks, he gave me the name of somebody that
works for Harvard Mind Body Institute. I talked to her.

(23:41):
She was fabulous. A large time commitment every week for
two hours. I'm thinking, with my schedule, I just can't
do that. Hence I called your show. Well, what does
Cindy do? And that's why I'm here in the interim,
I had to do some work, but I realized it
was my thoughts that was controlling my physical body, the

(24:08):
negative thoughts. And when I started feeling it on the
plane was during COVID when the passengers we called them
stimulus passengers because they used that government check to buy
tickets and they weren't frequent flyers. They saw frequently on

(24:29):
social media, the craziness of the plane, passengers yelling at
each other, passengers yelling at the crew. And that's when
I started to have panic attacks.

Speaker 2 (24:42):
And at that time, I attacks with anxiety. Big difference.
Big difference. Anxiety is not when you so you haven't
even said to me, Cindy, I feel like I can't breathe.
I like you keep your breathing under control through this attack.

Speaker 4 (24:59):
How I do it now is I channel my thoughts
because I feel that I'm a very sensitive person. I
take in, maybe.

Speaker 2 (25:10):
You're not born between June and July.

Speaker 4 (25:12):
Are you no scorpio? No, that's right. But I was
taking in what people were saying to me, taking it personally,
and I just felt like maybe I was dying. But
all I just felt like I wasn't worth anything, and Therefore,

(25:32):
two books helped me out overcoming the unwanted, intrusive thoughts
and then The Highly Sensitive Person's Guide Dealing with People
Toxic people.

Speaker 2 (25:45):
Okay, first of all, let's let's call it wait and
I'm pretty I'm not a black and white person. I'm gray.
How's this one bullshit? And how's that We're always going
to be around toxic people. We're going to have toxic people.
We're going to have and drama and craziness in our lives,
especially we're moms. You work, You got to deal with insane,

(26:07):
insane people right on your flights, people google crazy. I'm sorry. Yeah,
so you can read all these books. You know what,
I found out.

Speaker 4 (26:14):
They don't work.

Speaker 2 (26:15):
They don't work, you know what, for her, But they're
not you know what, it's gonna work for her. It's
gonna work for her.

Speaker 4 (26:21):
I'm sorry, Sammy's my safe person.

Speaker 2 (26:24):
I'm just want to tell you how it is. Okay,
I did all this all right. I wish I never
read one. I did not relate now if you know
it does, but hold on, let me finish. If you
know these past things in your life that you have
to deal with, then you need to find that person
to help you deal with whatever it seems to be

(26:45):
coming out this stage of your life that didn't come
out in your twenties and teens and thirties. Okay, period,
I don't have anything. I can't throw up anything more
than I already have. The panic attacks are here, They're
not going anywhere.

Speaker 4 (26:59):
But I find I process information incorrectly that I have
to challenge my thoughts, okay, of what people are saying
to me and taking everything that they say as being valid.
Where in the position that I was in, there's a

(27:23):
lot of blame, you know, fix this, And I was
internalizing all that. I guess my personality is stuff is
such as to bring peace and resolve, and sometimes you
can't do it when it's correct. Yes, But I was
taking what they were giving to me and to do it.

Speaker 2 (27:44):
Every day, all day long, all day long. Family kids,
grown adults do it all the time. But again, maybe
you don't know the wood boundaries. Maybe I don't know
the wood boundaries. And that's probably what we haven't common.
Is that one word boundaries, right, And I remember that

(28:04):
that psychiatrist lady saying, you know, do you have boundaries?
I go, did she apologize to you? Yes she did.
By the way, she did apologize to me. Remember I
told you that she said, I want I'm called to
say I'm sorry to you. You twenty years later, two
plus decades later, I said, well, it's okay, you know.
Look you didn't know, and now I can read all
this on Google. So but my point is, you know,

(28:28):
I think you know why you're feeling the way you're feeling.

Speaker 4 (28:32):
Not until I really stop and think about it, because
I go in automatic and then I have to think
about my thoughts because I think initially I react physically
shortness of breath.

Speaker 2 (28:47):
I asked you that before and you said, no, you
don't get that. This isn't to me. No, I want
to get this out. Or so, you do have shortness
of breath. You do feel that suffocation that I said,
he can't get a deep breath and you feel like
you just said it. You get shortness of breath?

Speaker 4 (29:05):
Yes, I do, and I owe you ar co patment
doctors at the end of the day, Okay, you talk,
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (29:17):
I feel you can talk to five different people and
we're all going to have five different symptoms. Period. None
of ours are personal. Yes, none of ours are going
to emulate each other except the one thing. We keep
going to doctors looking for the problem. Right now, maybe
you to take it to a level while trying to
see what we're sick. We're physically sick, well, we're not

(29:37):
physically sick, obviously there's something emotional. They did the same
with me Where to go. We think you having seizures,
put me on tag with Tall for seizure medication. I
wasn't having seizures. It was crazy back then. But let's
everybody hold that thought. I hold my own thought. Okay,
I'm sitting Stumble you listen to his nails on WBZ
and we'll be right back.

Speaker 3 (29:54):
Sponsored by new Brook Realty Group, Boston, would Smaller Insurance,
World Auto Body and Taska d Auto Body, Spox Flop.

Speaker 2 (30:14):
Brom And welcome back the say stumpo toughest Nails on WBZ.
And we're in the studio. And I've turned into a builder,
and then I've been a builder, and now I'm in
a delt daycare center for my guys, and I'm a mom,
and I'm a marriage counselor to my clients. And now

(30:35):
I'm gonna shrink when it comes to panic attacks with
Lynn and I right now right here. Okay, So that's
the show today, Lynn. What's your bottom line here? Talk
to me bottom of the let's go okay, your blonde,
blue eyed and I'm like, come on, I'm gonna gem
my fist down your throat, let's go. Okay.

Speaker 4 (30:50):
Thanks. I really feel as I go on in life
trying to deal with episode modes of trauma and panic,
that a lot of it is in my mind. So
I have to stop challenge myself with my thoughts, and

(31:11):
I feel that I have the ability to turn the
wheel by talking to myself. Where is this coming from?
Is this true?

Speaker 2 (31:19):
Well? Is it working?

Speaker 1 (31:20):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (31:21):
Okay, and you're getting somewhere.

Speaker 5 (31:24):
Did you come from a family that no one talked
about any correct?

Speaker 2 (31:27):
Yes? German?

Speaker 4 (31:28):
Yeah yeah.

Speaker 5 (31:29):
So how long after did your dad die that you
started feeling this way?

Speaker 4 (31:34):
My dad passed away the first of March and.

Speaker 5 (31:38):
You had them the same month.

Speaker 2 (31:41):
I think, yes.

Speaker 5 (31:42):
Do you think that, like you felt free enough to
actually feel whatever you're feeling and pent up for years
of your family holding feelings in.

Speaker 4 (31:49):
Doctor Sammy, Yes, I think so so. And I was
going through the grief, I was going through talk counseling,
but never had I had the physical elements come in
that were stifling me.

Speaker 5 (32:07):
So do you think that maybe as a kid you
did that but didn't remember that because you couldn't talk
about it, so you had to feel it inside.

Speaker 4 (32:14):
Well, you know, I was a free spirit. I mean
I was a school teacher for two years and I said, oh,
to really learn, I want to be a flight attendant.
I want to travel, meet new people.

Speaker 2 (32:26):
And I was off.

Speaker 4 (32:27):
You know, I just did anything, would move anywhere to.

Speaker 2 (32:31):
Avoid No, not all. Yes, every living her life is
a freebird.

Speaker 5 (32:36):
But that doesn't mean you don't care what your family thinks.

Speaker 2 (32:39):
Well, no, she cared.

Speaker 4 (32:41):
No I didn't. I didn't. But as you get older, okay,
and they sam.

Speaker 5 (32:46):
Well, she did say that she felt like she was
never good enough for her family, so somewhere she did
think it. Yes I did, so I think her freebird
was to escape that feeling.

Speaker 4 (32:55):
Okay, it was more exciting to go to Paris and
minds then to a town in southwest Virginia. I just
didn't think they got me.

Speaker 2 (33:05):
Let me just give you a little light here on this.
There have been people that have been sexually molested, that
physically abuse their whole lives right battered women, battered children.
I keep going and never ever ever suffered a panic
attack later on life. Okay, there's something, whether it's in
the brain, whether it's lack of you know, dopamine, there's

(33:29):
so many The brain is such a complicated muscle, as
they tell me that, we can sit here and try
to figure this out from here. So another twenty years.
I've already spent enough time, thirty three years of dealing
with these. They're still as fearful as the day had them.
People are still you know, in shock when they go, oh,
Cinney Stumpo has panic attacks, Like when I never was

(33:51):
ambarressed to talk about them, So people putting labels over
your heads, like, you know, why would she have panic attacks?

Speaker 1 (33:57):
Why?

Speaker 2 (33:58):
Well, why wouldn't I? So I'm not afraid to talk
about them. And actually, if my grandmother and my mother
did more talking about them, maybe today we'd have a
cure for them. But we don't because everybody hid. You know, right,
my grandmother said she used to run the bathroom and
call a doctor and say, doctor Goldberg, I'm dying. You're

(34:18):
not dying, eleanor I'm dying gets to the house, right,
and then the operators listening on the phone and telling
everybody in the town then and Ellen, that's big attacks, right,
or whatever the thing was.

Speaker 4 (34:29):
I just put something together with what Sammy said about
my upbringing and not being good enough. So when I'm
in a situation, well thank you. When I'm on and
I think I'm good enough to but thank you. But
when I'm on the plane and it hits the fan
and people are angry and they start.

Speaker 2 (34:52):
Last, are you avoiding work? Oh?

Speaker 3 (34:54):
These?

Speaker 1 (34:55):
Oh no?

Speaker 2 (34:55):
Okay, good good, good good?

Speaker 5 (34:57):
No?

Speaker 4 (34:57):
I love my work.

Speaker 2 (34:58):
Okay, you haven't avoided anything. Grocery store, a wall, nothing, No,
So if you have them, you still go back to them,
if you Yeah, have you had one a supermarket yet?

Speaker 5 (35:08):
No?

Speaker 4 (35:09):
I don't talk to anybody, okay. So it's usually when
i'm interacting people with people and I'm probably trying to
get their approval. Hey, I'm offering you good service. I'm
doing this, and the toxic people their thoughts get in.
I process it as something that I'm not doing right,

(35:29):
and therefore I try to challenge their thoughts and say
is this valid?

Speaker 2 (35:34):
Is this right?

Speaker 4 (35:35):
Where before I'd probably take it in and start to
have physical reactions. Are you looking at your physician assistant.

Speaker 2 (35:43):
I'm looking at my pre that means going to stick
the clock my face, so I know it comes in
here because they that's what you do. You take us
all off on. But it seems like we definitely have
two different versions of peddic attacks, which is sure, yeah,
because I avoid If I had one here, I stopped

(36:03):
going to movie theater. If I had one here, I
stopped going near to my world God much smaller and smaller.
So I decided, listen, stop the Cindy, or you're gonna
become an agroaphobic. So you need to go. You gotta go,
whether you like it or not. The funny pot is,
does that work?

Speaker 1 (36:19):
You know?

Speaker 2 (36:21):
No, I haven't been to a supermarket by myself since
twenty six years old. Are you kidding me? I've left
baskets full of cots and a run out like do
Google people do that?

Speaker 5 (36:31):
Like?

Speaker 2 (36:31):
Or I'll literally see in front of you, I'll pay
for all your groceries. Just go.

Speaker 4 (36:36):
Just let me get in front of you.

Speaker 2 (36:37):
I'll stand there with my credit card and we'll get
all my groceries through and then you end up with
two three dollars with the groceries. Just let me get
in front of you. Sometimes I've done that in front
of two three people because I can't stand in line,
so me and grocery will follow you into No, we
don't do good. We don't do good at a certain
red light, then it happens. Look, I know, I don't
know why I have them, but you do. And that's

(37:00):
the greatest thing because you can go work on these.
I don't know why I have them, and there lies
the problem, right, I know, I know I have I'm
under a lot of pressure all day, for sure, But
there are people that have even bigger positions than I
do with the more pressure than I have.

Speaker 4 (37:17):
But I don't compare yourself.

Speaker 2 (37:18):
I'm not gonna and I don't care what people think
like I don't care. Like you can say that you want, right,
It all depends, it's how you say it, Like I don't. Look.
You don't put yourself on TV. You don't put yourself
on national radio and be the first female developer builder
in the state of Massachusetts and worry about what people
are gonna think about you. People gonna hate on you,
no matter what right, people are gonna draw from you.

(37:39):
But on an airplane if that's and you love flying,
which I hope I never get you on a plane
because I'm the one that will give you toxicness. I'll
be going, lady, I'm very scared right now? Can you
do this? Can you do that? I'm I walk in
the plane.

Speaker 5 (37:53):
The part she's okay with, she's not okay with the
part when someone is rude.

Speaker 4 (37:57):
Right, I get over that. Now I've learned too rude.

Speaker 2 (38:01):
And they're condescending. Why do you take that, parzel?

Speaker 5 (38:04):
Because your job is an active service.

Speaker 2 (38:06):
No, I gotta tell you something. This has changed a
lot students. Is a stuarts. Actually it goes the other way. Now,
you guys got a little edge to you guys up there.

Speaker 4 (38:15):
Okay, it depends on the individual.

Speaker 2 (38:17):
The new the new ones have an edge if you're
in first class there right now.

Speaker 4 (38:20):
Yeah, I'm going on my thirty ninth year.

Speaker 2 (38:23):
So you know the change has happened, you see it? Yes, right,
you see I'm still the old days dealty air Lines.
It was like what can we do for you? Now
it's like what can we did for you? Like it's
like what excuse me? You want what coke? Yeah that'll
be an hour.

Speaker 4 (38:38):
But I still have that attitude.

Speaker 2 (38:40):
So you're still an old You're that old school students,
not old ones. No, but look it, I'm thirty years
in business. You know you're thirty nine years of students.

Speaker 4 (38:49):
But that's why I joined. It was going to be
every flight was going to be a dinner party. I
had the meals. Okay, peanuts now are pretzels I.

Speaker 2 (38:59):
Can offering you guys give nothing on these planes.

Speaker 4 (39:02):
We give what we got and sometimes that's ourself. We
can't influence everything. But I mean it was it's a
party every flight. I have an opportunity to work with
fun people, go to exciting places and meet very interesting But.

Speaker 2 (39:19):
You went from a stage where you kind of start
to know a lot of your clients coming in off
the plane. Did you get your regulars used to not
anymore correct? And you like seeing those the same faces?
You got to know them. You're stationed out of Boston.
I'm sure right love Boston, okay.

Speaker 4 (39:35):
Because we can talk about sports, we can.

Speaker 2 (39:37):
Talk about anything and everything. We don't care, that's right,
We're gonna be massed holes.

Speaker 4 (39:44):
Now I can talk about you.

Speaker 2 (39:47):
But again, you know your job. Like when I have
an empathetic students, that makes my flight so much better.
They come over. But I walk on the plane. I
tell the pilot, the copilot, I don't like to fly.
Where were going? We fly over water lie and blah
blah blah, raised running to the back of the plane,
going I'm not with her. Where we're sitting in the
pale copalate very kind to me and then the one

(40:09):
students will always find me and warm up to me. Excellent,
And that's what can't speak to the flight right, Yes,
that empathetic person. Epithet empathety. Hold on, We're going to wait,
come sis stumble and he goes, tough.

Speaker 4 (40:19):
Of nails time, w Bz'll be right back.

Speaker 2 (40:32):
Night and welcome back to toughest nails And I'm city
stumbo wbz. Lynn, you got forty seconds to tell me
how you're going to change your life because I'm not changing,
so I'm stuck with my paning attacks you. You're done
in six months. How's that?

Speaker 4 (40:48):
Well, thanks for the encouragement. I appreciate that. And I
don't want you to give up either. And being a
strong person that helps tremendously not to let anybody miss
with you. And you've got Sammy, your support, your kind, loving,
easy going go with the flow supports this and.

Speaker 2 (41:07):
You got your dogs. Yeah, but I will guarantee you
we can talk in six months back in the studio,
and you're gonna be a lot better, and you're gonna
say to me, Cindy, you're right, and I'll be still
standing in the same shoes. And now I'm gonna still
have them, but there's a difference. You already figured out
why you have them. I haven't figured out why I
have mine. Everybody, have a great, safe weekend and we'll
see you next weekend. This is Cindy Stumbo tap his

(41:29):
nails on WBZ