The Shadow Of An Addict

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
For thirty five years, Cindy Stumpohas been a female home builder with a
passion for design, a mastery ofdetail, and a commitment to her crack.
With daughter Samantha Stumpo by her side, I don't need my whole family
on a date with me. That'sa good note. It's godemn weird.
See. Stumpo Development is the onlysecond generation female construction company in the country.
You're crazy, You're a wacko,You're insane. I mean, it

(00:22):
just doesn't end together. Cindy andSamantha welcome guests to explore the world of
construction, real estate, development,design and more. Unpredictable. Every time
I think I know what you want, you'd switch it out. But that's
what makes your houses all your day. Discuss anything that happens between the roof
and the foundation. Nothing is offlimits. You truly do care about everybody.
She can yell at chickens screen,but when you get her alone,

(00:44):
she's the best person on the planet. Cindy Stumpo is tough as nails and
welcome to Cindy Stubbochub's Nails on WBCNews Radio ten thirty and I'm here with
Smith Apparently I can't say see.I mean, I have to say,
Sammy Stumbo, there you go.Who else is in this to you?
Mark Joseph and you're the man ofthe hour. Maganham, okay, tell

(01:07):
everybody who you are. My nameis Maganim. I'm CEO of after Math
Adiction Treatment Center, after Math BehavioralHealth and Redemption Addiction Treatment Center. I'm
a man in recovery and clean comingup on eighteen years and of two yeah,
eighteen years. So you're you're likemy weakness, right. This has
been my thing for thirty six years, his addiction thirty three years. Especially

(01:30):
lost a brother at eighteen. I'mnot sorry, I'm okay's my brain's gonna
go off at twenty eight to oneline of coke in nineteen ninety, which
was unheard of last year of lawand one line qudn't called an ovadose.
It was just Timy, Timy.Cause of death unknown. So I know

(01:51):
and understand the spending. Anybody,you try to keep your kids away from
it, you know, you whatever, It's just I get very angry with
people, so I understand who Iam. I've been trying to raise money
for the Maverick. I don't knowif you know what that is, and
he's fostered with it. It wasnot Maverick. It was called the Meridian

(02:12):
House House. Yeah. I usedto go in there and do spoken more
poetry. Okay, so now youknow what the Meridian House looks like now
compared to what it was like eighteenyears ago? Right, it was like
eighteen years ago. But three family, Yeah, that's what it was eighteen
years ago, with three family.I don't think I'm dating myself thirteen fourteen
fifties. Yeah, like eighteen yearsago, it was just a three family.

(02:35):
That's all it was, you know, with bedrooms upstairs, and it
ran the phone, calling the producewhat do you get left over for food?
But getting my friends to try toraise money from them. Like I'd
give my friends money for their causes, but they wouldn't give me money for
my causes, which was drug addiction, battered women and children. Now things
have changed in eighteen years, right, because now people talk about it nowadays

(02:58):
it's not about so much of thetalking about it. Middle class and upper
class are losing their children to it, right, so now it's something they'll
talk about absolutely. I don't knowif you follow every eleven minutes. I'm
sure you do know, every elevenminutes, some children between the age of
twelve, thirteen, twenty, twentytwenty nine are dieing from the fetanyl,
right, so they take up addmedication as fetanyl and they press pause whatever

(03:21):
it is and everything right now,So it's every eleven minutes, that could
be my kid. You're a kid, anybody's kid that's listening right now,
your grandchildren, your brother, yoursister, anybody. So now, because
people understand it in the richer communities, they're giving them money. But eighteen
years ago, no, they were, they were weren't They thought it was
an inner city problem. Well,yeah, you're a drug you know,
Well they decide to be drug X. No, no one grows up and

(03:43):
decides they want to be a drugX. So it doesn't holme with somebody
that they know. That's when youknow, everybody wants to be up and
arms. I totally change over thattime. Look, you can prove me
wrong. You know more about thisthan I do, and we'll get into
your bio. But I believe alot of this is genetic too, right,
Like there are kids that could partythrough high school and college and never
look back again and then it's thatone time they do something in there there,

(04:06):
that's why you have you know.For me, well, my son,
I have open lines of communication aboutit, like he's more likely to
fall into drug addiction just by partyingor experimenting, you know what I mean,
because of his genetics, because hisfather is a drug addict, you
know, because we have family historyof alcoholism and drug addiction, you know,

(04:26):
and scare him. No, Imean one of the cool things like
being in recovery for as long asI've been in and being like an advocate
for the community. He knows mywhole story. He's known it for a
long time, Like he's seen somepretty cool things that I've been able to
do over my time. So I'vealways had like that open line of communication
with how he's fifteen now about tobe sixteen. Well he's the impress severs

(04:47):
right. So yeah, yeah,But even even early on, it wasn't
necessarily like hey, you're gonna doyou know, you party with your friends,
you're going to do drugs. Alot of it's like you hang out
with the wrong people at a youngage, you're gonna do the wrong thing,
and that kind of follow suit,you know, that like unspoken peer
pressure for me when I was growingup, Like I wanted to be a
part of so whoever I was hangingout with, whatever they were doing,

(05:08):
I kind of follow suit with.So trying to educate my son on being
a leader not a follower, andthen having the courage to say no,
because that's like one of the biggestthings. Like when I was presented some
you know, presented a cigarette,presented a beer, a joint, I
didn't have the courage to like speakup for myself and be like, no,
I don't want to do this.I just did it because it's what
everybody else around me was doing.That unspoken peer pressure. So yeah,

(05:30):
I think comes an early age.I think that does come from an early
age. When my father said tome, you decide, do you want
to be a chief for an Indianyou want to be a follower leader?
You get one choice, you don'tget two. I'm not following. I'm
definitely not a follower. So I'mnot a follower. So I never had
a drink of alcohol in my life. It's awesome, But I did pick
up cigarettes right now because somebody gaveme a cigarette. The truth is I

(05:53):
took it from my father that wasa smoker. Yeah, and I went
and smoked on the corner. Right, that was my choice period in a
story, I made that choice andI did and follow you. No,
would you drink? I don't drinkbarely, okay, but in your twenties
you were, you would, youwere having a good time. Yeah.
But like even when I saw peoplelike in high school doing drugs or whatnot,
no one ever said, ever pushedme if I said no. Ever.

(06:15):
That's true, But that's it's notalways about saying no, you know
what I mean, like pushing youto do it after you say no.
Sometimes people are scared to say no. They never actually asked. Yeah,
different generations, but I hear,I hear what you're saying. I told
you not to put your business.Yeah, I'm thirty eight to thirty nine.
But watched people like take pills andthen drink a beer in the ads
roll behind their head. I'm like, oh, yeah, that doesn't I'm

(06:38):
good. Well that's a blessing thathe looked at that like. But some
people and it didn't start. Yeah, So it didn't start as like I
look at somebody with the as rollingback like it started with cigarettes. My
buddy stole a pack of smokes fromhis mother, and then one by one
he handed it to each kid wewalked to school with and we sat on
the corner, you know, coughingup along thinking you know what I mean,
and then excuse me, yeah,excuse me. We were working.

(07:00):
I thought I was the coolest wewere. Don't be mistaken that we were.
We were, okay, But thekids that were nerdy and getting more
educated, they were actually the coolkids, right But no, I mean
looking at it now, Yeah,I have a friend that once said to
me from Revent. It was thebest remark ever. He said, you
know, Cindy, you have asmuch drug problems over the bridge as we

(07:20):
have over here. You guys justhide it in your fancy homes and your
fancy cars and behind your money.But where they come to get the drugs?
And you know what, he wasright, We had a bigger problem.
And we were the kids getting thepills from their parents' cabinets. Where
the kids getting the pot from Wewere the kids getting all the purpose from

(07:41):
their parents. Okay, So Ilaughed because he's right with that. See,
we're just drug x over here becausewe're poor, but the rich people.
They're not drug xs well yes theyare, but they just hide it
really really well, well because theyhave the fancy homes and cars. At
the end of the day, it'sall the same. It's all the same.
So give you a bio, please, Matthew. Yeah, I mean,
I'm a personal long term recovery Igot clean April twenty first, two

(08:05):
thousand and six. Very blessed.You know, I'm a spoken word out
is. I've been writing poetry mywhole life. I put a book out
in twenty eleven called The Shadow ofan Attict. I've been in the recovery
field a most slow. So youput a book out, The Shadow of
a twenty eleven, a collection ofpoetry. I sold I think five thousand
copies out of my car. Sobefore that, I had a book deal

(08:26):
that I like signed and thought Iwas going to be some New York Times
bestseller. Yeah. Unfortunately, Uhthat did not happen. And I'm very
stubborn and I like to prove peoplewrong because I was supposed to be nothing,
and uh, you know this,this company just kept pushing me off,
pushing me off. We need theright editor, we need this.
And then finally I was you knowI was ready to you know, I
just gave up on waiting for them, ended up putting a book together and

(08:52):
published it and acting publishing in ChildsTown. All my first boss is not
getting you the places you want toget you. It's got me pretty filright,
says it. Yeah, it actuallyhas. So you know I'm be
easy. Yeah, I don't knowreally Yeah, not stumbing at all.
No, I swig, I meancoming by Paul. Okay, hold that

(09:13):
thought. We're gonna take the coming, going out to break? What's that
becoming? Becoming? You think I'mbuy pola? Okay, over there,
I can't throw a pen at you. I'm sitting stumple. You listen to
Tough His Nails at w BZ NewsRadio ten thirty and we will be right
now sponsored by Floor and Decor,National Lumber and Village Band and let the

(09:33):
Wrong Ones in pad An Angel ofthe Mersey Semen and welcome back to Toughest
Nails on w BZ News Radio tenthirty. And I'm Siddy Stumpo and you're
with I'm with Sammy and Mark Josephand Maganam you have that song amazing Barssmith
so one of my favorites. Soyeah, I just want to shooting this

(09:58):
song. Was it a blinking value? Family? See the light? What
was your blink of an eye thatyou finally saw the light? In my
moment of clarity, I hit rockbottom. I was on trial for Class
A distribution, but I was amonkey oft sold bananas. I sold drugs
to support my habit. What isthat called monkey of What I call it
being a monkey of sould bananas,which means I sold heroin as a heroin
addict, So I would sell drugsjust to do all the profits. And

(10:20):
that's how I maintained for a littlewhile when it stealing, which eventually after
I got arrested, led to morecrimes and a further spiral down I was.
I think today in twenty four you'dbe arrested for that with everything's going
on in the country. No,I wouldn't be treated the same way I
was treated like I was some bigtime drug dealer. When I was sitting
in court, I had detectives andI cop showing up and I got caught

(10:41):
with like not a lot of heroinat the time, but they wanted to
paint me out as this big badguy because I was selling death to kids,
That's how it was looked at.But I was a lost nineteen year
old. But now being a dadand think a nineteen year old kid might
sell to your son. Yeah,yeah, awful. Oh I know,
I believe me. The perspective Ihave now compared to what I was when

(11:05):
I was a kid, is completelydifferent. I wanted to be this cool
kid, tough guy like I usedto try to emulate something that I wasn't.
And when I was, you know, I started with Oxy Corton in
high school, and I thought Icould fight Mike Tyson, I could hit
on the heart girl. It gaveme all the confidence in the world,
and then it progressively got worse toivy, heroine, homelessness, crack program

(11:26):
two, addiction, any mental disordersthat you can think of, Yeah,
suffer. I suffer from depression,anxiety, I struggle with you know,
just trying to fit in, justtrying to be a part of I've severely
obsessive personality. Like so you hadto stand Stull diagnosis for a reason,
right better than anybody. And ifmaybe somebody saw these things as a child,

(11:50):
Yeah, taken you down a wholedifferent path. Yeah, yeah,
no, you're right about that,because unfortunately, when I was a kid,
though they looked at all his behavioralproblems and that I was struggling with
mental health, I wasn't extreaming allfor help. Yeah, exactly. So
I went through four different high schoolsand two states. Like, but that's
weird, you're how oled again?Thirty eight bout to be thirty nine.
We knew that. I mean,my daughter studied six. We knew that.

(12:11):
Not my age. They didn't knowthat, fortunately not for me.
So mom and dad never picked upon it. No, not really.
I mean I just was constantly gettingin trouble, you know, driving them
crazy. Yes, I drove myparents completely insane. And now my father's
my best friend. I share everybit of good news that I ever get
with him first, you know,and like there was many years that I

(12:33):
didn't talk to him. My motherthrew me out when I was sixteen years
old because you just couldn't deal withme. So now I bought I bought
my mother at Klondo. Now youbought your years ago. Yeah, things
change. Yeah, they've been prettygood now. And me, I'm the
type of mom that I will chasemy kids. So I can't chase them
anything. So there's two schools withthoughts. So yeah, there was definitely

(12:54):
different back then. You couldn't talkmy mother and father couldn't talk to the
next parent because they would be like, what did you embarrassed? You know
what I mean? When it hadnothing to do with them. I'm like,
yeah, there's some home struggles andeverything, but I mean I went
down the path that wasn't because ofthe way that they raised me. You
know. So as we're talking aboutdrugs, So for me, I was
so afraid that history would repeat itself. So you're already you're already have PTSD,

(13:20):
right, like you have children.Now, now you see what your
parents went through, You see whatyou've been through. You don't want that
history to repeat itself. No,we're trying to break that cycle. In
two thousand and six, how oldwere you. I was twenty years old,
twenty one years old when I gotclean. So you know, it's
like we're just I think if youhaven't lived it, you don't understand it.

(13:43):
Right. You have to live that. You have to lose somebody that
you love to know that feeling,to have that empathy, and unless you've
been there, you're never going tounderstand an edict. You're never going to
understand whether they start off as asocial user. My brother was definitely social,
right, you silly nineteen eighty leavingNewton's South going three thousand miles like

(14:05):
yeah, across the world. Youknow, Hey, no, mom and
dad watching me sex, drugs,rock and roll nineteen eighty like la kidding
me? Like who's banging? Who'snot banging? Who? Who's not doing
coke? Who's not doing this that? And probably was blowing eight balls and
quote ounces back in those days.Right, doesn't die then later off ten
years later or whatever. You know. It's like. But when the police

(14:26):
got there, there was nothing thereby the way, so we knew somebody
was there. They took off.They left him there. That's awful.
Probably somebody from Harvard one of theschools and said I don't want to go
down for this and and could havesaved his life, but they didn't.
They chose to run out and notsave his life. Right, so we
know that he suffered. We cantell by his pants trying to get up
the stairs, you know, crawlingall the nine yards. But it happened,

(14:50):
and you live with that for therest the rest of your life.
So you can't make a normal familyunderstand unless that family has been there through
the pain. So then you know. Then you have a kid, that's
okay, my kid's drinking here nowit's every night through COVID. I'm going,
whoa, whoa, whoa, what'sgoing on here? Right? And
now you get start getting scared becausehere it comes right, here comes the

(15:11):
who knows? So I know meas a mom, I will tackle you,
I will chase you, I willannihilate you out there, bodyguards on
you. I didn't need it,okay, but I did put it.
I did put a I put abodyguard on you at times. I put
a PI on you at times.Yeah, that bought me drinks. And
he was an idiot, wasn't he? Only I could hire a PI that

(15:31):
buys a drinks, Like who doesthat? But I wanted to make sure
she was safe. Plus we hada TV show, plus we had a
lot going on too. But again, yeah, that's that's yeah, I'll
do that type of crap Like Idon't care. I get it. And
then she called me on the phone. She's like, I think Dad just
drove by me. I'm like,what what we're talking about? I don't
know what you're talking about. Ahamajust drove by on what were you in

(15:52):
Austin? Yeah, that's not yourdad, I said, that's somebody else.
Sammy. What when it did happen? It wasn't at it was Awesomehama
driving down. Okay, so goahead. I'm making a point that people
unless they understand this definitely, andI mean when you're talking about parents,
and I mean, there's definitely differentways of doing it. You know.

(16:14):
I try to equip Christian with enoughknowledge that when he's in these situations that
he makes the right decision. Unfortunately, up until now, he's never drug.
He's never smoked. I never hada cigarette, never smoked weeds.
So I have to say that Idon't know for you remember this, but
you also told me if I everwanted to do a drug, come home
and tell you, and like likeyou kind of said you'd do it with
me, and I never asked becauseyou kind of leave it this. It's
a weird thing about it. Isaid, listen, you guys want to

(16:36):
have to try something. We tryto to feel me together my father so
that to me kept me straight soI can get high with you. That
doesn't seem too fun, so Iget high. Yeah, so he took
the he took the ooh out ofit. You know what I mean.
It's like Italian kids that grew upwith wine on the table every night.
They grew up with wine on thetable, right, it's kind of culture
going to get drunk cause it's like, you know, they can win,

(16:57):
exactly. So if you take thatexcitement out of it, like okay,
dude, you if they haven't calledme up on it and said, hey,
ready to do a line, I'dbe like, Okay, it comes
to hot attack, it comes topig attack, I think I'm dying,
But go ahead. I'm sorry,I keep going. No, that's all
I got for that one. No, you got more than that? Oh
I do? I do? Butokay, So we all know that you

(17:19):
can be cleaned for eighteen years,twenty eight years, and you can fall
right back and it's like those eighteenyears never even survive. So what do
you do to really keep your headin the game. And honestly, and
one of the biggest things that I'vefound is the support network, the recovery
network that I have. I mean, everybody just about in my life is

(17:40):
in recovery. So when you havesomething like that, anything that you go
through, you can lean on themthrough all your struggles. You know,
you have somebody that you can talkto, open lones of communication and being
relently honest with people. I wentthrough like a really tough period about four
and a half years ago where likemy entire life came crumbling down and recovery.
I was running a business. Ihad a bad split with a partner

(18:03):
and he basically like took the rugoutfrom under me. And in that period
I had some really really low lowsOver time that, like you know,
I was able to reach out tomy support network and they were able to
pick me up and support me throughit. A lot of what I've done
is advocacy work. Poetry writing islike one of the biggest therapeutic tools that
has helped me stay clean. Iwent through the Hamilton House and eighteen in

(18:29):
two thousand and six, and itwas nope, chaurus, go ahead.
I always try to pick some Iget it, well, you know exactly
what time you're born. I don'tknow exactly what time time fifteen maybe I
think possibly you can look that up. But I was in a halfway house
with twenty six guys and it waseither their last stop to president or their
first, like, oh you areparole to this program. So like getting

(18:52):
clean early on, I was atwenty one year old kid that like,
you removed the drugs for me,all that big, bad, tough guy
stuff that I tried to like playon the street. That illusion the tough
guy disappeared and I couldn't go tothe next person who's six or five just
to five years in prison, beinglike, hey, you know I'm having
a bad day, can we talkabout it? So what I would do
is out write down my thoughts,feelings, and any prisons. Yeah,
six months, which is like nothing, I'll blip on the radar. And

(19:15):
that didn't freak out enough. No, No, that doesn't scare you.
I mean, prison time definitely scaredme. The six months in County and
bill Ricket didn't scare me. Butwhen I got arrested, I was facing
state time and that definitely was awhole different ball game that I didn't want
to do. I didn't want togo upstate, and that's what helped I
went to upstate. You don't youdon't want to, you know, prison

(19:37):
ten years? Yeah, you don'twant buddy, Dougie was up there.
All that thought, hold that thought, I'm going to break. This is
Sydney stumbling with some toughest nails onWBZ News Radio Tender Be Right Back,
sponsored by Pillow Windows of Boston,Next Day Molding and Kennedy Carpet and Welcome

(20:00):
Back to Tap his Nails on WBZNews Radio ten thirty. And I'm here
with Sam, I'm here with MarkDays, I'm here with our guests.
Matthew. I guess I don't havea voice name No, No, and
Sam, because I can't waste anytime. I got you, okay,
Matthew. Question, Yeah, whatkeeps you straight every day? Is it
a struggle every day? No?No, I wouldn't say it's a struggle

(20:21):
every day. I also, uh, one of the things that keeps me
straight is gratitude. I don't everwant to be homeless again. I don't
want to sleep on a park bench. I don't want to be in and
out of programs and detoxes. Idon't want somebody that has control over my
freedom. So you got sick ofyou got tired of being sick. And
yeah it was miserable. Cindy,I'm gonna jump in one day, we
want a corner. Why did youdo that? Mark? Since you're sitting

(20:42):
in the studio, we haven't heardfrom here. Okay, buddy, how
do you know each other? Like? I know you, but I know
Mock since I was what five yearsold, and we used to play basketball
on the mini hoops in leagues andyou know, no, I know we
talked. We talked to you likemy swimming pool come out and I pull
in the drive ring. Go okay, gets your Jorgian pool. Okay,

(21:03):
see what I'm going to go backto work. No, there was one
time me and Matt were talking byCentral Square and he was and I asked
him, like, you know,because when we were kids we played basketball.
I know him one way, buthis high school years I didn't know
him. So throughout the years,I would just you know, see like
I didn't know him at that point, but I saw what he recovered from
and I'm like, bro, likethis was high school you kind of yeah

(21:26):
directions. When we were kids,we used to go to the Boys and
Girls Club every day. Did yousee his fall? Did you see him
a way? Because all happened likestarted seventh eighth grade. Yeah, and
at that time we was you know, just different towns. But we were
always like cool. My first friendlike any drugs, No, no,
no, no, I was tooscared of my mom. You did say

(21:48):
may first, correct first? Yeah, I believe it's Yeah, he's virgo.
Mo thank you. Oh Jesus,okay, there is that means it
means I was right. So Samand I play that game like I try
to call who you are and Iput virgo and you are what she said.
You can check that out. Socancer makes you emotional, Virgo makes

(22:11):
you crazy, yea. And thebull just as the bull. So there
was no way out of you likebeing anybody controlling you. Nope, at
all, not at all, notat all. But the cancer gives you
empathy. Good. Do you evernotice that your EmPATH Sometimes you see things
that you don't know what you see, you know it's coming. No,
not that necessarily, no, butI am like, I am in touch
with people's patterns and can you readpeople well? Yeah, I read people

(22:34):
really well. That comes from yourcancer. That's that's one of the reasons
why I've been successful running A coupleof times, I say the same thing,
helping people turn their lives around you. You can read people and the
virgo by the way, has gotthe big heart and is loyal but good
No, the reason why I wantto jump in. And when we were
on the corner, we talked aboutwhat made him transition, like what made
him stuff? He said, youknow, one day he looked himself in

(22:56):
the mirror, right and had aconversation with himself, right. But then
I said, like, when itgets hard, what do you do?
He's like, there's some streets Ican't even go by, right because if
I go by that, it mightjust bring me flashbacks. And he's just
sharing like the like the intimate detailsof like you know, you could tell
he's recovered because he like put boundarieson himself. But what he can't do
to go back to that, tothat moment, I was just fascinated.

(23:18):
But he's talking to me like Iknew him when I was a kid.
And I've seen like other friends who'vegone through drug issues and you can see
it on their face and their body, you know, you know, and
they just struggle in life. AndMatt was just like, hey, hey,
what's uping Mark? Like how Iknew him? Man, let me
ask this question. You think peoplestill look down on DRUGX and reform drug

(23:40):
X. Yeah, you still thinkthe stigma still continues. Yeah, so
you think the stigma still continues thatpeople like Christians, plumbers, h tracy
guys with the dumb guys with dumbguys. That's like a uh, you
know, a more complicated answer thanjust a yes or no. I think
there's definitely still a stigma there.I think that people are more open to
the fact that people struggle and whateverprofest. Can I treat people that make

(24:02):
a half a million dollars a year? Do you think that you're lucky at
thirty eight that your generations finally talkingabout this. Yeah, well, previous
generations were too afraid to say absolutely. Yeah. That's when I know my
parents were embarrassed to say. That's. One of the reasons why I like
took a path of advocacy is becausenobody talked about it. So when I
was getting high, I thought Iwas going to die or go to jail,

(24:25):
Like those are the only two options. Nobody was like walking around talking
about recovery or you can turn yourlife around. There was never anybody that
that discussed stuff like that and howit happened to you, how'd you turn
your life around? Oh, well, you know, hitting the rock bottom
where I'm dope sick and my buddyI was staying with a buddy of mine.
When I mean, you really decidedlike this a few times? Try

(24:48):
straight. You gotta let me shareit. I'm talking about you. Yes,
you went. So I was sleepinghead and so with a buddy of
mine. He ended up getting intoa program. So at the end of
my run, I was trying tokill myself because I didn't want to live
anymore. I was on traffic Isay distribution that I I was terrified I
was going to go upstate. Mymother didn't talk to me, My father
didn't talk to me, my sisterdidn't I had no friends. The only
person that I really had was mydope dealer. And then I was staying

(25:10):
with my buddy's mother, and Iwould give her dope as my way of
paying rent and her allowing me toput my head on her futon. My
buddy ends up getting into a program. He's begging me to come to this
because he knows like I'm on theverge of like just trying to pass peacefully
in my sleep and I wake upI'm dope sick, and his mom's getting
high in front of me, andshe turns to me and she goes,
you have enoughing problem. You needto go and get help. And that's

(25:32):
when I went, wait, themother said, she's shutting up. She
turned to me, which, inmy opinion, but she doesn't need help.
In my opinion, it wasn't herspeaking. My higher power is my
best friend, James Slattery. Hekilled himself in September first, two thousand
and four, and I really believethat he came down he was speaking through
her as a way to talk tome, like you have a problem,

(25:52):
you need to go and get help. And I remember I ended up going
into the bathroom right after she's gettinghigh as the one thing that I need
to write. That was the onething that I woke up to. I
fell asleep too. I chased afterall day and I didn't have it,
and I didn't like take care ofmyself. I didn't shower, I didn't
like brush my teeth, like Iwas the guy that you saw walking down
the street and you woul across thestreet because you want to know part of

(26:15):
me. And I ended up lookingin the mirror and I saw like a
skeleton looking back, like I sawdeath staring back at me like I couldn't
even tell you who was in thereflection. And from there it was like
that was the moment of cloudy,like for that brief moment, I wanted
to live more than I wanted todie. So now I felt like my
boy spoke through my buddy's mother.I end up getting to a detox.

(26:37):
I end up getting to the nextstep and into a halfway house, which
usually didn't happen. I get intoa detox, it'd be nothing. After
the hand you a list of sheltersand they send you on your way.
Right after three days of detos.Three day, seventy two hours of detox,
i'd be back on the street witha script of subs that I would
sell for my first back adobe.That's the first I ended up. Everything
fell in line that wasn't supposed tofall in line. The house that I

(26:59):
get to I I stayed at thePine Street in and then I end up
at the Hamilton House with a stoppingshot bag full of everything that I have
to my name, And the guywho ran the program walks in and he
goes, who brought their f andbag here? This isn't a hotel,
YadA YadA YadA. So in mymind, I was already checked out.
I'm gonna go to Field's corner,copper bag of dope, and then just
turned myself in because I was Imissed some court dates, had some wants

(27:21):
out for me, and I showedup at that house at ten o'clock.
He never took the halfway house tohelp you with all that. Once you
get in there, once you getin there, yeah, but I was
only in there for an interview.And the guy used to be a very
hard ass, very by the book. One strike, you're done. If
you showed up late for a curfew, your stuff was packed on the porch.
You know, your eyes smile now? Yeah, first came in,

(27:42):
they weren't, but they now,Oh we're talking now, so your eyes
are smiling right now. So hetells me to sit at this came in
with like a glare in your face. I'm gonna I'm gonna break this guy
down. That's okay, now evendid him feel bad to do that.
But so I'm sitting at this table. Guy never tells me to leave,

(28:03):
so I'm not leaving. They feedme again. I showed up at I
think it was like nine ten inthe morning. So at seven eight o'clock
at night, he came out witha pillow on a blank He goes,
you clearly want this and gave methe opportunity to have a bed. Then
not only did that happen, aweek later, he shows up in court
with me because I turned myself in. And now this guy's a former DEA

(28:23):
agent that went to jail for tenyears, got his PhD. Like big
massive man, tons of connections,and he's like Matt's been in the court
system since he was like fifteen yearsold, and everything's been drug related,
Like you should give this kid achance, like let him go through this
program. And they washed away mymy warrants and stipulated me to the program.

(28:44):
They were still trying to give mejail time when I got out of
there, but like the program directorwent to bat for me, and then
it ended up being like one ofthe biggest blessings. It was the structure
that I needed. It like laidthe groundwork for where I'm at now in
life, you know, and Ineeded that structure. It also gave me
some things not to do while runningtreatments on us, because I don't think
that no stuff necessarily works for everybody, even for me. So now you

(29:07):
have kids out there and we've gotso much fatanyl and another cut that just
came into it, that are killingkids every eleven minutes. Like I said,
somebody dies between the ages of twelveand twenty nine doing drugs out there.
You would think today, doing abump of coke would scare the heck
out of you, doing a percoset, doing an adderable non prescription. You

(29:30):
think these kids would be so scaredthat they can lose their life. But
I don't think people educate on likethe press pills and the stuff that's tainted
and drugs. So I spoke atWakefield. We talk about parents not educating,
the kids not listening. Sometimes peopledon't think it's happening. I still
think it's not in my town andnot in my neighborhood at times. So
I was having a conversation after aresource night in Wakeful that thought, and

(29:52):
don't forget it. I got togo to break. I'm sending stumbling listening
to snails on WBUS news video.Then ten thirty would be sponsored by new
Brook Realty Group Boston, would smallerInsurance World Auto Body and Tosca Drive auto
body. Yeah it's me again,wouldn't you know it? And I did

(30:18):
my best the perfect guest. Welcomeback to Toughest Nails on w BBC News
Radio ten thirty And I'm Cindy Stumpand I'm here with Sammy and the guy
that just left his big Oh thereyou go, and Miley, Yes,
Miley, like I'm changing names.Smelly. Yeah. Going back to that
resource night, that resource officer wastrying to argue with me about adderall press

(30:40):
pills, that it contained a fetanyltrying to say that it wasn't in Wakefield
when it just happened in Lint,like there was a big bust with a
bunt, like you've been clean eighteenyears though. Yes, we had fantanel
eighteen years ago. No, no, no, we didn't. I'm talking
about now now. Okay. Iwas speaking at a resource night in Wakefield.
Got a resource that my bad,no, my bed, I'm tired

(31:00):
and I speak a little faster attimes. So the cop was trying to
say that thrust adderall wasn't something that'shuh, how do you say mother?
How do you say mother? Howdo I say mother? He just said
it. Okay, So it's calledmother. In the real world, we
go, mother, my bad Ithought, you say, man, yeah,
I go, I'm not allowed tocall her mother. She says,

(31:22):
that's disrespectful mother, that's like mother. Like. So there was a big
arrest in Land and there was likeone hundred something thousand pills of Adderall that
were pressed that have fatanol in it. So now you get a prescription of
adderall, you're taking it and yourun out, or you give it to
your friends, and now you're grabbingit for somebody else. You don't know.
I just don't know. So Iwhen I got high and when I

(31:42):
first started using her experimenting with drugs, we had a good time. And
that's what like I've told my sonthat I've told Christian. It was a
good time. And now you don'thave that. You don't have to time.
No I did. I did,Yeah, absolutely, because what are
we gonna am? I going totry to put the fear of guard in
him because he doesn't listen anyway.He's a teenager, you know, so
you sign he's a cancer. No, he will, but he will.

(32:09):
The DARE program didn't work. Thefear you know, the fair based stuff
didn't work. No, it wasa good time. That's what let me
down. It is because it wasit went from a good time to an
everyday obsession. You know, likewhen he was fourteen, I showed him
Basketball Diaries. It's like one ofmy favorite movies, and it's a movie
that very very closely mirrors what Iwent through, where in the beginning they're

(32:32):
having a good time partying, andthen one guy continues on the path of
success and then the others turn intoyou know, drunks called Basketball Diaries with
Leonardo DiCaprio and oh, I haveto send that to ring. But it
starts off having having a good time. And sometimes when you see like you
know, parts of his family,they drink at everything, and somebody who

(32:53):
might be a miserable man, youget a couple of drinks, and you
know what I mean, the personalitieschange. You know, sometimes you think
that that is something that could happen. I watch it, watch your chat.
The basis of it was I gotto I got to have a little
bit of a good time before thingshit the fan. Christian doesn't even have

(33:14):
the ability to experiment right now becauseof everything that's getting put into weed,
into ecstasy. I know that,but that's you know, those are some
of the conversations I have with himto prepare if he's at a party,
if he starts going down that becauseI have no control over what he does.
He's gonna you know, I tryto equip them with the tools,
and he's off in the world.He's gonna have to figure that out on

(33:35):
his own. Body watches every elevenminutes right on Instagram. It's right on
the driven stuff has been proven thatit doesn't always work. Really, yeah,
how about a punch in the heat? I mean I think it only
works if through somebody else's how aboutthrough Yeah, I mean that's you know,
a couple of you know, justsetting to hang up my mom.

(33:57):
He'll be fine. He listen tome, please, I'm begging you.
Your Can's son's a beast to habit, but you know it or not a
very good He likes the same restaurants, yeah, his parents, He likes
home, doesn't like change. Heain't going to become a drug act.
I hope he doesn't. He isa leader, not a follower. I'm
praying for just watch. You know. So that's been your whole crazy life,

(34:22):
right and now no, no,well, there's a whole bunch.
There's a whole bunch more in there. Well, let me say this,
Matt has done things from going throughwhat he went through that my friends who've
had great lives as teenagers, kids, you know, young adults, they
still haven't accomplished with MAT's accomplished.Now his accomplishments. Now talk about accomplishments,

(34:45):
I mean, because I hope thatall the insecurities went away with your
accomplishments. Yeah, no, theyhave, you know, And I've grown
into a leader instead of that kidfollowing that I that I was growing up.
I have I don't know, fortysomething employees. I run three three
different treatments center. I got onein Delaware to in Wakefield. One that's
a substance abuse facility, and onethat's a mental health behavioral health facility.

(35:07):
I opened up another program, whichwas one of the first php IOPs in
Massachusetts in twenty sixteen, and thenI ended up branching out and doing something
on my own. I was theSpoken Word Artist of the Year in twenty
thirteen. I had the mail theMale Poetry or a Male Spoken Word Poetry
Book of twenty thirteen for the massPoetry Awards. There's a question Advocate of

(35:30):
the Year in twenty fifteen at allover the place a little bit here.
Do you realize that? Yeah,no, that's why I'm extremely grateful.
Yeah. Absolutely, I never dogood for you. I'm glad you do.
Yeah, you have to. Youhave to appreciate what you have because
I literally come from nothing to beable to sit in a very beautiful home

(35:51):
that I have. I own eightdifferent rental properties, I own treatment centers,
a couple of businesses. I've beenable to help elevate like my friends
and put them in a position tosucceed and do some successful things on their
own. Like you know, I'vebeen able to travel the world, speak
to schools, colleges, I've performedat someone like some world famous poetry spots.

(36:12):
So yeah, no, I'm it'scrazy when you look when I take
the moments to like reflect on everythingat how far I come from when I
was couch hopping or sleeping on potbench. Yeah, and I still got
a long way to go. You'vegot a long way to come. So
you've got big dreams, yeah,yeah, And when when life's hitting in
the head and coming at you,you just handled differently. Now, Yeah,

(36:37):
I mean, when you can overcomesomething as difficult as a heroin addiction.
You feel like any obstacle that it'sthrown in your way, You're able
to run through, run around.I'm gonna figure it out, and I'm
going to be better off on theother side for it. I would agree
one thousand percent on that one.Yeah, thousand percent on that one.
With the success that you have nowin the businesses that you started and run.

(36:58):
Now has anyone treated differently because you'rea heroinetic or you were not?
Now they used to coming up andthen when you have dreams that are completely
outrageous, people look at you funny. I remember when I told people I
was going to chase poetry. Theylaughed at me because I don't come from
a place where, you know,people think poetry is cool. You know,
Rose of Red viol to blue stuffscrew. Oh, I agree,

(37:20):
and I took it, and,you know, completely shattered any idea of
what I was able to accomplish.I started telling people I was going to
open up a treatment center. Inthe early stages of people thought I had
ten heads, like, what's this. You know, I don't have an
education, I didn't go to college. You can buy brains. Yeah,
exactly. I have doctors that workfor them exactly. The question yep,

(37:43):
here's the question that came to me. Are you treating any of your centers
with mushrooms academy? No? No, do you believe in that or I
mean micro micro doosing? I don'tknow enough about it to have an opinion
on it. I don't do thatat our center, not for since abuse.
I've definitely heard that there's benefits towardsmental health from from the people that

(38:04):
I know that I've taken it andthe discussions that we've had together to doing
this right. Yeah, there's likea lot of people, there's a lot
of people, you know, inthe public light who've had different experiences,
whether it's micro doos and some otherthings that they have. That's not something
that I that I necessarily have abackground in or any experience with the twelve
step program. I started with that, Yeah, and then I ended up

(38:27):
going away from it a little bitmore into advocacy. I like fighting for
people, So I was at thestate House classroom politicians and like fighting for
change and started some nonprofits over theyears helping I believe it did. Yeah,
and now yeah, No, Ithink things are a lot different now
than they wear back when I wasgetting helped. There's a lot more treatment
centers. I mean, but ifwe want to pinpoint one one area and

(38:53):
overlook the amount of people, youknow, all the people that are out
there that have turned their lives around, because there is a lot more,
I feel like now than there wasback then. We know the percentage of
people that get clean and stay cleanas what. Yeah, I don't go
into negative stuff like that. I'mnot trying to beat people down when they're
trying to turn their life around andsay, oh, only X amount of
percent get clean. If you putthe work in, if you hold yourself

(39:15):
accountable and surround yourself with good people, you're going to get the return on
what you put in. And that'son an individual basis. If you look
at everybody, you're gonna get everybody'sresults where it really falls on your shoulders
if you get better or not.What's the best advice you can give?
Because the saying is I'll be thenigga and nearly hear that you don't put

(39:36):
the time in. If you don'tchase your sobriety the way you chase your
high, you're never going to staystraight. Yeah. I mean, you're
right with that. And there's aproblem. It's so much easier. It's
easy to get hide and stay cleanand to chase sobriety. It's hot as
hell. It is a very difficultpath, but I promise you where I'm
at today is a complete blessing fromwhere I was at as a twenty year

(39:57):
old dope fiend, homeless, strungeye, isolated and burn. Every bridge
around me is name ever, stitythe prouty. Okay, me too.
I'm proud to give me a pism. I'm Sidney Stumple going to break.
This is w BZ News Radio tenthirty. Dudes, Right down, amoy

(40:27):
the candle back, Jim the rightdown and let the wrong And I'm Sidney
Stumble And you listen to w BZNews Radio ten thirty. Go ahead,
honey. If anybody out there isstruggling and looking for help, you can
reach out to Aftermath Addiction Treatment Centerat seven eight one five eight seven three
six three six and we are locatedin Wakefield, mass about twenty minutes north

(40:51):
of Boston. A great, amazingstaff that everybody has personal experience in recovery.
We've built a great culture to helppeople turn that life around. We
also have a mental health facility locatedin Wakefield after Math Behavioral Health on fifty
d Autobahn Road in Wakefield. Andagain, if anybody is out there struggling
or I think they need help,I mean, give yourself a chance,

(41:14):
believe in yourself, Like you deserveto live a better life than the one
that's struggling with addiction and drugs oralcoholism. Like you definitely deserve a better
life. And thank you for havingme on here, Matthew, thank you
for coming. Give me a fistpunt, buddy. Okay, everybody,
have a great, safe weekend.This is Cindy Stumpo Toughest Nails on WBZ
News Radio ten thirty