December 22, 2025 • 39 mins
Childhood sex abuse is more common than any childhood illness or injury that parents are routinely educated about. One in ten children experience it before the age of 18 and many families are not equipped to talk about it. Dr. Bronwen Carroll, a pediatric emergency medicine physician at Boston Medical Center who has been treating victims of sexual abuse in the pediatric ER for decades, joined Dan to discuss.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's Nightside with Dan Ray. I'm WBS Costin's news radio.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Well, a few weeks ago, I had the honor and
pleasure of having doctor Bronwyn Carroll, pediatric emergency medicine physician
at Boston Medical Center and Assistant Professor of Pediatrics at
Boston University School of Medicine, on my show, and we
talked about the fact that one in ten children ten
(00:29):
percent of children experience sexual abuse before the age of eighteen,
and this makes that circumstance more common than any childhood
illness or injury that parents routinely hear about preventing, doctor Carroll,
(00:50):
welcome back to Night's Side. That is an astonishing figure
that you know, ten percent of every high school graduating
class in America has experienced sexual abuse before they get
their high school diploma? What do we base that? First
of all, welcome back to night said, thank you for
joining us, and how convinced are you in the accuracy
(01:16):
of those decisions, which to me and a lot of
other people appear just a combination of frightening, almost unbelievably frightening.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
Well, thank you for having me back. I am so
happy to be here. And what I would say about
the numbers is that anybody who studies this or knows
much about it is in agreement that those numbers aren't
under estimate, which I know sounds even more shocking. But
(01:50):
the issue with those numbers is that they are based
on what is reported. Most of these studies are done
by surveying adults about their childhoods, because the unfortunate truth
is that the majority of children who are sexually abused
do not disclose, at a minimum for about five years,
(02:15):
many not until adulthood, and many not ever.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Okay, how long I'm going to ask questions here? You
know I keep telling people we don't script questions. You
haven't given me a series of questions. You have no
idea what I'm going to ask you, which to me
is the way it should go. But just how long
have these sorts of statistics been maintained in our country?
(02:42):
And which, of course, is going to lead me to
the next question of are things getting worse in this
regard or are they getting better?
Speaker 3 (02:50):
I think that's a really good question, just off the
top of my head. There have certainly been studies looking
at this from the seventies and eighties, so these aren't
just recent data. Sure, and they seem to be quite stable.
The numbers are higher for girls, so the number for
(03:10):
girls is about between one and four and one in
five to twenty to twenty five percent of girls, and
then the number for boys are lower but still very high.
The range in those studies there's a broader range, and
I think that has a lot to do with the
fact that disclosing sexual abuse is often considered more shameful
(03:36):
for boys. Of course it should not be, but I
think there is more shame around disclosing, which probably has
something to do with the range. In reporting. It's just
harder to get accurate numbers.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
There is there any you know, whenever we do polls,
which I'm pretty familiar with because I have friends of
mine who are political posters, they love to break out
the numbers. But between age and gender, region and if
it's a national poll, are there any numbers that jump off,
(04:09):
you know with what they call the internals of a pole,
would show that one group of again these are children,
are are sexually abused based upon well you're talking about
gender obviously, uh, geography, you know, any any other you
(04:29):
know breakout that that that we can point out and say, ah,
here might be a clue as to how we can
can fight this.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
Yes, so it's interesting because physical abuse has correlations for children.
So unfortunately, children who grow grow up in poverty, children
of lower socioeconomic status are more likely to experience physical violence,
(04:59):
and the exposed of physical violence sexual abuse is much
more evenly distributed. Sexual abuse impacts all kids, all genders, races, nationalities, ages,
all backgrounds, which is so important for parents to understand.
Because parents, and this has also been studied, parents almost
(05:23):
universally seem to believe that sexual abuse is something that
is more likely to happen to.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
Other people's children.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
And I think there are many reasons why people think that.
But the problem is clearly, if this were true for
all of us, a minimum of ten percent of children
wouldn't be sexually abused before they're eighteen. That is all
something of bad news, But the really good news is
that parents can use simple strategies to get ahead of
(05:55):
sexual predators to prevent us.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Would of me to obvious question, what can parents do?
I watched a video of you today that just in
getting ready for tonight show that talked about how that
there needs to be consistency, how all of these sort
of problems, whether it's stranger danger, you know, drug use,
(06:20):
sexual abuse, need to be treated uniformally or consistently consistently
by parents. And I want to give you the opportunity
to make that point. And then we're going to go
to a break and we'll get some phone callers and
we'll get the conversation going. What should parents do to
protect their children? You can't be with them twenty four hours.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
A day, no, and you shouldn't be. That's sort of
helicopter parenting and constant hovering is not the answer because
number one, that's not how you keep kids safe, and
number two, that impairs their development in other ways. Child
predators are like a football team that keeps winning with
(07:01):
a single play. But if we teach parents and families
and kids to recognize and defend that play, then that's
how we get ahead of them. So for a child
predator to succeed in sexually abusing a child, he it's
most often then needs three things. Access to a child
(07:24):
who is perceived as vulnerable, compliance from the child, and
to maintain gracy. So, given the child predators have three
requirements to succeed in sexually abusing kids, what parents and
other adults who care about kids need to do is
take a three pronged approach. So, in terms of access,
(07:46):
we all need to be mindful of who has access
to our children. And then also in terms of child
predators seek out children who they perceive as vulnerable, and
what that means for them is they seek out children
who they believe have low parental involvement and who they
(08:08):
perceive as having low self esteem and needing attention. So
the way that parents can use that information to help
keep their kids safe is to make themselves visible as parents.
And I don't mean hovering all the time. You know,
I'm a working mom with four children. I am certainly
(08:28):
unable to attend every event, every practice, every everything for
every child. But what I'm very conscious of doing is
making certain that all the adults in my kids' lives
know me, know I'm around, No, I'm paying attention, and
so I drop in unexpectedly on the babysitter, I introduce
(08:49):
myself to the coach, and I ask questions. I make
sure to seek out my kid's teacher. Then the other
thing that it's important to do is to make sure
that your children know how to move through the world
with confidence. Obviously there's a range in temperament. Some kids
are outgoing, some kids are shy. That's all fine, but
(09:10):
we want to build our kids confidence for many reasons.
That's just a good thing to do at baseline. But
if you teach your child to move through the world,
making eye contact, using a strong voice, showing a certain
degree of confidence in themselves, that makes them less of
a target for predators. Then the way that predators achieve
(09:32):
compliance from kids is through the grooming process. Grooming is
the process through which predators gain the trust of a child,
but predators also groom parents, families, colleagues, communities, and it's
through a set of very established behaviors. Parents need to
(09:53):
learn what those behaviors are, and you just start talking
to their kids about them. And then the last thing
the child predators need is secrecy. And so this is
maybe the simplest place to start these conversations with kids,
which is that adults never ask kids to keep secrets. Now,
a secret is different than a surprise. With a surprise,
(10:14):
people are going to find out and are expected to
be happy about it. So a surprise is making Grandma
a cake for her birthday. Secrets are different with the
secret nobody's ever supposed to find out, and people presumably
wouldn't be happy. Child predators need secrecy. So if we
teach children that adults never ask kids to keep secrets,
(10:35):
and if that happens, they should tell another adult immediately,
then that is a great first step to keeping kids safe.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Well, that was a whole lot of great information, and
so that's going to give us plenty of things to
talk about. But more importantly, I want to give parents
an opportunity to call join the conversation. Six one, seven, two, five,
four ten thirty six one seven, nine, three one ten thirty.
This is one of those subjects that are difficult to
talk about. However, it's so important we've found out about
(11:08):
it that literally you never know who could be a predator.
We found out during that the priest scandal, the priest
pedophile scandal, the abuse that went on in of all
places that you know most of us would not expect,
within a within a church, and it was covered up,
(11:32):
so secrets were kept. Exactly what you're talking about. We
will take a break if you'd like to join the conversation,
if you want to ask a question, if you've experienced
this yourself and you'd like to talk about it. You
don't have to go into great specifics, but I think
it's important for people to realize that they're not alone
(11:52):
if they've also been subjected to it. Six one, seven, two, five,
four ten thirty six one seven, nine three, one ten thirty.
None of us grew up in perfect households. Some of
us didn't even grow up in households. Some of us
were in more difficult circumstances. So with all the creatures
of our own experiences, and if there is an experience
(12:13):
that none of us want to ever be subjected to,
it's what we're talking about this evening and this hour
with doctor Brownwyn Carroll, Boston Medical Center. Back on Nightside
right after the break six one seven, two, five, four
ten thirty six one seven, nine three one ten thirty.
Coming back after.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
This night Side thought with Dan Ray. I'm w BZ,
Boston's news Radio.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
My guest is doctor Bronwyn Carol. She works at Boston
Medical Center and she deals. She's a pediatric emergency room
medicine physician, I should say, at Boston Medical Center, sister
Professor of Pediatrics at Boston University School of Medicine. Is
this I'll ask you a broader general question. Is this
(12:59):
a problem that we are going to have to live
with as a society going forward, or is it a
problem that is an American problem? You know, we have
a fairly open, free wee league society here, or is
this something that occurs in other countries, you know, with
(13:24):
greater frequency. I'm just trying to get my arms around
how much of an American issue this is as opposed
to a worldwide issue.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
This is a worldwide issue. The World Health Organization has
studied it extensively, and of course there's some variation and
there are you know, distinctions between different cultures in terms
of what happens and how it happens. But this is
something that happens everywhere. That said, I genuinely believe that
(13:54):
we can fix a significant portion of it just through
conversation and education. If every family knew how this happened,
and every family knew what to do about it, how
to get ahead of it, and how to speak about
it openly to their kids, what their kids needed to know,
(14:16):
child predators would no longer be able to operate as
they do now because going back to the football team,
everybody would know how to defend their play.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Okay, So the video that I watched with you today
or not with you, but of you. You were very
very specific in terms of how parents should approach not
only the issue of sexual abuse, which is an uncomfortable
topic because some of it can happen with relatives as
(14:52):
well as family friends. These are not This is not
a stranger danger issue. I would assume it's more someone
who already has access to the child. You did layout
which I thought in a very convincing manner, that parents
should be consistent with how they deal with their children.
(15:14):
And at what age would be the question that I
would have, is this issue something that should be broached
with children? Obviously that there's a certain age below which
I guess it's not helpful at all. Give us, give
us the parameters as to how people should handle it,
and what age can it first be introduced to children?
Speaker 3 (15:40):
Yes, so of course the way that you talk to
kids about this depends on the marriage and what's developmentally appropriate.
So with very young children two three four preschool age.
The two most important pieces of it are number ones
focusing on bodily autonomy and what I mean when I
(16:02):
say that is your body belongs to you. Nobody else
should be touching your body. Adults should not be showing
you their grown up bodies or asking you to touch
their grown up bodies. Those are just simple lessons that
kids can internalize from a young age. I think one
of the fears that parents have in talking about this
(16:24):
and thinking that it's going to be uncomfortable, is that
the worry that they're going to have to get into
nitty gritty details you don't at all. The messaging is simple.
Adults don't ask kids to keep secrets. No adults should
be touching or looking at your body, things like that.
The other part of it that we can do with
(16:44):
very young children is just teaching them to listen to
their inner voice. And what I mean when I say
that is we all have an inner voice that kind
of signals us when something feels uncomfortable or not writy
or just doesn't feel good to us. And with it
not with ill intention, of course, but just naturally. Adults
(17:07):
are frequently telling young children that the young child's inner
voice is incorrect. So a young child falls at the
park and is crying, an adult immediately rushes and it says, oh,
you're okay, and what the adult means is you're not
seriously hurt, and that's true, but the child doesn't feel okay,
(17:28):
which is why they're crying. And so when the child
is crying and you're giving them the message everything's fine,
there's a disconnect there and you're telling them that their
feelings are wrong. Another good example of this is kids
who are fearful of different things. You see it a
lot with kids who are scared of dogs, and adults
are constantly saying, Oh, there's nothing to be scared of.
(17:49):
The dog is friendly. This dog is so friendly. You know,
we understand how anxiety works with adults. If you had
a friend who was afraid of flying, you wouldn't think
that if you just said, oh, the plane is safe,
your friend would say, oh, that's okay, and hop on
the plane. But with kids, we dismiss their fears. Yeah,
here's why this matters.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Okay, when you talk about the inner voice, I hear
what you're saying. But is that also a developing conscience.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
It's a little bit of everything. And here, but here's
why it matters. The reason why it matters is because
when children find themselves in situations that feel uncomfortable to them,
we want them to be accustomed to listening to that
inner voice that says, I don't want to do this,
(18:41):
this doesn't feel right, and to have had their parents
encourage them listening to this. I wrote an article just
this past week that was published in Psychology Today, and
it was about the idea that kids should not be
forced to hug their relatives at holiday events or at
any event if they don't want to. And it's for
(19:02):
the same reason if a kid doesn't feel like showing
adults affection, we do not want to be giving them
the message that they are required to show adults affection,
or even worse, that they are expected to show affection
to keep adults happy. And the inner voice is something.
(19:23):
The inner voice is something that listening to that inner
voice will serve your child well as they continue to
grow up, because in adolescence and in young adulthood, that
is the same voice that might say, don't take the drink,
don't get in the car, let's leave the party, let's
end the deep and so teaching little kids to follow
(19:45):
those instincts is a good thing to do and is
an easy place to start.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Great advice. My guest is doctor Brunwin. Carol She is
a pediatric physician, and she has some really good advice here,
so please feel free to join the conversation. We're talking
about the fact that one in ten children experience some
form of sexual abuse before the age of eighteen.
Speaker 4 (20:10):
That is.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Just to me a mind blowing number. But apparently that
is the number that we're talking about. I guess we
could focus on the ninety percent and say, isn't good
that ninety percent don't experience sexual abuse? But when you
realize the damage that is done by adults to children
(20:33):
under the age of eighteen, and the long term aspects
of it, and sometimes the repetition general generationally that occurs,
and I want to talk about that. We will will
continue our conversation. We have to just pause for a
moment here at the bottom of the arraw. Doctor Bronwin Carroll,
pediatric emergency medical medicine, physician at Boston Medical Center, an
(20:56):
Assistant professor of pediatrics at Boston University School of Medicine.
I'm going to help you. You're going to help me
pronounce this because I know it's important to Chobanian and
Avedisian School of Medicine. Is am I correct on that pronunciation?
Close to it, close to it. Yeah, okay, good, that's
a very good I have a business school professor who
(21:17):
comes on, and he always wants to make sure that
we give credit to the business school, the name of
the business school, so I have to do the same
for the School of Medicine. Six one seven thirty six
one seven, nine thirty Back on Night Side with phone
calls for my guest, doctor Carroll. Coming back right after this.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
You're on Night Side with Dan Ray on w BZY,
Boston's news radio.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
My guest is doctor Brown and Carol and I think
that we have covered a lot of the basics of this.
I don't want to ask you a question inappropriately, but
what is the age or the age range that most
(22:06):
of these children who are reported to be sexually abused
before they reach the age of eighteen. I'm assuming that
there's a scale here, and I'm fearful of what your
answer might be, But my instinct tells me it's probably
going to be a lot younger than people realize.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
So I think that there are different types of situations
that all fall under this single ugly umbrella, right, so
what these things look like can be very different. Unfortunately,
child sexual abuse materials which used to be and is
(22:49):
still more commonly referred to as child pornography. The Internet
has opened up a whole new avenue for abusing children
because child pornography, there's no such thing in the sense
that all child pornography is is the documentation of the
sexual abuse of children. So those images can start with
(23:14):
shockingly young children like infants, which is just horrifying to
think about. I think that where kids become generally at
risk is it depends on the category abuse. So, as
you said before, children are overwhelmingly abused by people who
(23:38):
they know, and that can be different things. So for
those kids who it's family members, the kids who are
abused younger, it tends to be family members because that
makes sense, right, They're not out in the world yet
to meet people in other ways. So that's what happens
to the young kids. Then as children move more into
(24:01):
the school age range, that's a different group. That's who
the group was who. For example, you were talking about
this scandal in the Catholic Church, which follows the same
patterns as so many of these other stories. We get
these stories with coaches, with Boy Scouts, teachers, you know,
(24:23):
justin Massachusetts, if you put into a search engine Massachusetts
teacher arrested child sexual abuse, you get many, many news stories.
It's really shocking. So school age kids are vulnerable to
the people who they come into contact with doing the
(24:46):
activities that school age kids are supposed to be doing,
playing sports, going to school, going to clubs, going to
boy Scouts, going to church. Then as kids move into adolescence,
the risk shift a little bit because what sexual abuse
can look like then can start out as something you know,
(25:09):
it is developmentally appropriate for adolescents to be interested in
romance and dating and seccess normal the internet. This is
another place where the Internet comes in. The Internet has
opened up all kinds of avenues for what's termed sexploitation,
which is kids meet people online and sometimes they even
(25:33):
know that these are older people. But it might be
a teenage girl who starts chatting with a man who
she believes is twenty two twenty three until they meet
in person and it turns out he's much older and
he assaults her. And so adolescens can also be.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
At risk.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
As their social life changes right and all of a sudden.
Alcohol can become part of the equation, as can other substances. Obviously,
when people are victimized, it is never the victim's fault.
Victimization is caused by perpetrators. However, the introduction of alcohol
(26:19):
and substance use dramatically increases the risk of these events transpiring.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
Let's let's get some phone calls. Let me go first
to Carol in Randolph. Carol, you are first this hour
on Nice. I would talk to Ron Win Carrol, go
right ahead, Carol.
Speaker 5 (26:35):
Oh my god, I love what you're saying, and I
understand it. I was victimized when I was probably I
can't even remember, by six years old, and it was
a family member, and it was the whole guilt that
like I couldn't say anything because it would blow my
(26:57):
family up, and I live with that forever. And then
finally he died and I was able to finally tell
my parents what happened. And then it was the disbelief.
It was like, no, this didn't happen, and I know
(27:21):
we really did, and they didn't believe me, and it
just caused so much trauma for me in my life
because it was like, I'm sure.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
Doctor Carroll, why don't you just talk to Carol for
a moment here, because I think yeah, she wants to
hear from you.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
Yeah. So, first off, Carol, thank you for calling. I
am so terribly sorry to hear that this happened to you.
You are not alone, unfortunately. I mean, the whole basis
for my work is that your story is so common.
What I say to survivors is you are unfortunately a
(28:03):
member of a club that you did not ask to join.
I am trying as hard as I can to keep
your club from acquiring new members, and so much of
what you said is exactly what I'm trying to prevent.
(28:24):
Because one of the main reasons that kids give for
not disclosing sooner that adults say the reason that they
didn't disclose, it's what you said, fear of basically of
upsetting people, but then also fear of not being believed,
(28:45):
which sounds like what happened to you. And so I
think it is so important to get ahead of this
and to educate parents so that they know that this
does happen. They need to actively work to prevent it.
But if it does occur anyway, the most important thing
(29:08):
that they can do is to believe their child when
they disclose that I'm hoping that by getting that message
out other kids will not have your experience.
Speaker 5 (29:20):
I hope so. But you know, it was so hard
from my mom to believe it, and she was like, Nope,
this didn't happen.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
And Carol, thank thank you for having the courage to
call tonight, because I'm sure that there are one hundred
or five hundred or one thousand people who, for the
first time probably are hearing their story told in effect
by you, uh, and that they now maybe feel a
(29:51):
little better by the fact that you called and explain
to doctor doctor Carroll, what what not only you went
through with the hands of the abuser, but then what
you subsequently went through when you tried to talk about
it to family members. A lot of courage called Carol,
thank you very much.
Speaker 5 (30:12):
I mean, it was the hardest thing, and I mean
it brew a divide between my mom and I because
she she didn't believe me.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
And is your mom still alive?
Speaker 5 (30:28):
No, no, she passed before I would yeah, but she
was just like she just was like not a believer,
like this could have her happened to And I think
she knew, but maybe.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
She didn't want maybe she didn't want to acknowledge it.
Speaker 5 (30:48):
She couldn't acknowledge it and.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
Carol, I mean, Carol, I got to take a break.
I think you in about four minutes probably lifted a
burden off of the shoulders of a lot of other
people who are listening tonight. And I thank you so
much for having courage to call.
Speaker 4 (31:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:09):
And the one thing that I would add, Carol, is
that there is estimated that there are forty two million
adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse in the United States,
So you are not alone. And I would encourage you.
There are resources, there are support groups, and I would
encourage you to reach out and talk about it more
(31:30):
because that helps. Sexual abuse persists because of a culture
of silence and shame, and by shining light in these shadows,
that is how we affect cultural change.
Speaker 5 (31:45):
It has to be done.
Speaker 3 (31:47):
I mean no idea.
Speaker 5 (31:50):
I'm a surviver and I'm fine now, but it hurts.
I mean when your own mom doesn't believe you, and.
Speaker 3 (32:00):
That's very hard.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
Carol, Thank you for sharing, but I gotta get a
couple more callers in here after the break. Thank you
for the cu for your courage tonight. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
Bye bye, We'll take.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
A quick break. That's an incredible phone call. Gregory is
coming up, as is Rosie. We'll get you both in.
I promise coming back after this one night side.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
It's night Side with Dan Ray and Boston's news Radio.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
Okay, let me go to Gregory in Dorchester. Gregory next
on nights. I appreciate your calling. And you're all with
doctor Bronwyn Carrol'sted his start.
Speaker 4 (32:38):
My name is Gregory and I came here as a
young kid from Ireland. I sixteen and I was going
to the Irish dances and this greg I knew one
from home, and you're seeing me right and all that.
One night he told me to sleep over and he
(32:58):
try to attack me with him. I have a smart
enough I had him in the mouth, get out, get
out of the house. I think the reason is there's
an awful lot of it swept into the rugue, and
thank god today the kids are smarter in the way
they are. But there's too much information on the internet
(33:18):
that's not good either. But as far as hugging anybody
or don't fortune. I would never forced my kids to
hug me. I'd say I love you well, God bless
you and all that. And I want to say one
thing about the boss there, Dan Ray. He got the best,
the best program in the United States because I watched
(33:43):
seeing them and I watch Fox Dos and all that,
and I have more information from them every night, and
they understand politics better than than anybody. And I just
I'll be very very brief. I want to wish you
(34:03):
and your family a very happy, happy and merry Christmas.
And and then I to be your ancestor and Gaelic
would be a knowledge son of it. Night, and thank
your doctor for your information.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
Greg. Thank you. I know that you were able to
have a nice family and h and whatever was attempted you,
you prevented it. And uh you have a great reputation
in Dorchester and you know that. Night, I thank you
for letting people know that that it could happen to
anyone at any time, particularly when they're when they're young.
(34:41):
So Merry Christmas. Greg, Thanks for having the courage of
call tonight. I appreciate it immensely. Thank you, Greg, You're welcome.
Thanks night. Rosie is in Norwood. Rosie, you're next to
Night's side with my guest doctor Bronwin Carrol.
Speaker 1 (34:59):
Go ahead, Rosie, Hi, I have a question for doctor Carro.
Speaker 6 (35:03):
I love some of the points she made tonight about
telling teaching your children at very young age that their
body is theirs. But the question I have I know
of some adults today who were molested by their parents,
So how can you they're not going to tell their.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
Kids that their body is sacred? What can be done?
What can we do with you know?
Speaker 6 (35:26):
What can we be doing?
Speaker 3 (35:27):
Period? I don't know what to say here? Yeah, yeah, no,
I think this is a very important question and something
that I absolutely think about. My goal is that we
change the cultural conversation broadly. The one thing that I
think about is mothers against drunk driving. Now it's parents
(35:49):
against strump driving, I believe, But once upon a time,
drunk driving was relatively common and was considered I don't
know that I would say so acceptable but not remarkable,
And Mothers against drunk Driving was able to completely shift
the cultural narrative. And so what my hope is is
(36:10):
if we can start making talking to kids about sexual
abuse prevention part of standard injury prevention, just like we
talk about wearing seatbelts and not playing with matches and
not swimming without adult supervisions. So this is something that
kids hear from all sorts of places. They hear it
(36:32):
at school, they hear it through the media, they hear it,
you know, from their friends' parents. Then hopefully those kids
who are being sexually abused at home will get the
message elsewhere that this isn't right, and that will help
them disclose to perhaps another relative who they feel comfortable with,
(36:54):
or a teacher who they have a good relationship with,
or another adult too feeling safe. But you're absolutely right
that that is probably the hardest situation to get ahead
of us.
Speaker 6 (37:09):
Yeah, yeah, well it's a tough one. But thank you
for your insight, and I hope we get to that
that level of awareness at the younger kids age.
Speaker 3 (37:21):
I hope that happens. But thank you so much for
calling your insight you.
Speaker 2 (37:25):
Gave us, Rosie, appreciate appreciate your call. You raised an
aspect that I hadn't even thought of, and obviously that's
the that that's the worst situation for anyone, anyone possibly
to be betrayed by their own parents. Thanks, Rosie, appreciate it.
Here well, doctor Carroll, there are any resources that we
(37:46):
can refer people to who have listened tonight and want
to get more information. Is there a book or anything
that that you could refer people to that perhaps you
may have written yourself.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
So I am in the process us of writing a book,
although that is not something that can be purchased yet.
But I do have a website. It is Bronwyn Carroll
m D b R O n W U E n
C A R R O L L M D dot
com and not as links to articles I've written, and
also my social media Bronwyn Carrol MD is also my
(38:21):
handle on Instagram and TikTok, and I have lots of
short videos talking about all of these topics with quick
tips for people that hopefully people will find useful, and
when the book comes out, information about that will certainly
be on social media and on my website as well.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
Well. That's great. I watched some of the videos today
and you're very You're a very effective communicator. You speak
very clearly, and you speak with authority. So thank you
for spending your efforts to make people aware of this.
It's much more prevalent than any of us would could
possibly imagine. Thanks so much for your time, and I
(39:01):
hope you have a great holiday season and a happy
new year. We'll look forward to having you on when
your book comes out.
Speaker 3 (39:06):
Okay, thanks for having me. Happy holidays to.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
You too, Right back at you, thanks doctor, doctor Carroll,
Doctor Bronwin Carroll b R O n W E n
C A R R O L L M D dot com.
We're coming back on night Side right after the eleven
o'clock news
It's Nightside with Dan Ray. I'm WBS Costin's news radio.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Well, a few weeks ago, I had the honor and
pleasure of having doctor Bronwyn Carroll, pediatric emergency medicine physician
at Boston Medical Center and Assistant Professor of Pediatrics at
Boston University School of Medicine, on my show, and we
talked about the fact that one in ten children ten
(00:29):
percent of children experience sexual abuse before the age of eighteen,
and this makes that circumstance more common than any childhood
illness or injury that parents routinely hear about preventing, doctor Carroll,
(00:50):
welcome back to Night's Side. That is an astonishing figure
that you know, ten percent of every high school graduating
class in America has experienced sexual abuse before they get
their high school diploma? What do we base that? First
of all, welcome back to night said, thank you for
joining us, and how convinced are you in the accuracy
(01:16):
of those decisions, which to me and a lot of
other people appear just a combination of frightening, almost unbelievably frightening.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
Well, thank you for having me back. I am so
happy to be here. And what I would say about
the numbers is that anybody who studies this or knows
much about it is in agreement that those numbers aren't
under estimate, which I know sounds even more shocking. But
(01:50):
the issue with those numbers is that they are based
on what is reported. Most of these studies are done
by surveying adults about their childhoods, because the unfortunate truth
is that the majority of children who are sexually abused
do not disclose, at a minimum for about five years,
(02:15):
many not until adulthood, and many not ever.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Okay, how long I'm going to ask questions here? You
know I keep telling people we don't script questions. You
haven't given me a series of questions. You have no
idea what I'm going to ask you, which to me
is the way it should go. But just how long
have these sorts of statistics been maintained in our country?
(02:42):
And which, of course, is going to lead me to
the next question of are things getting worse in this
regard or are they getting better?
Speaker 3 (02:50):
I think that's a really good question, just off the
top of my head. There have certainly been studies looking
at this from the seventies and eighties, so these aren't
just recent data. Sure, and they seem to be quite stable.
The numbers are higher for girls, so the number for
(03:10):
girls is about between one and four and one in
five to twenty to twenty five percent of girls, and
then the number for boys are lower but still very high.
The range in those studies there's a broader range, and
I think that has a lot to do with the
fact that disclosing sexual abuse is often considered more shameful
(03:36):
for boys. Of course it should not be, but I
think there is more shame around disclosing, which probably has
something to do with the range. In reporting. It's just
harder to get accurate numbers.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
There is there any you know, whenever we do polls,
which I'm pretty familiar with because I have friends of
mine who are political posters, they love to break out
the numbers. But between age and gender, region and if
it's a national poll, are there any numbers that jump off,
(04:09):
you know with what they call the internals of a pole,
would show that one group of again these are children,
are are sexually abused based upon well you're talking about
gender obviously, uh, geography, you know, any any other you
(04:29):
know breakout that that that we can point out and say, ah,
here might be a clue as to how we can
can fight this.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
Yes, so it's interesting because physical abuse has correlations for children.
So unfortunately, children who grow grow up in poverty, children
of lower socioeconomic status are more likely to experience physical violence,
(04:59):
and the exposed of physical violence sexual abuse is much
more evenly distributed. Sexual abuse impacts all kids, all genders, races, nationalities, ages,
all backgrounds, which is so important for parents to understand.
Because parents, and this has also been studied, parents almost
(05:23):
universally seem to believe that sexual abuse is something that
is more likely to happen to.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
Other people's children.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
And I think there are many reasons why people think that.
But the problem is clearly, if this were true for
all of us, a minimum of ten percent of children
wouldn't be sexually abused before they're eighteen. That is all
something of bad news, But the really good news is
that parents can use simple strategies to get ahead of
(05:55):
sexual predators to prevent us.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Would of me to obvious question, what can parents do?
I watched a video of you today that just in
getting ready for tonight show that talked about how that
there needs to be consistency, how all of these sort
of problems, whether it's stranger danger, you know, drug use,
(06:20):
sexual abuse, need to be treated uniformally or consistently consistently
by parents. And I want to give you the opportunity
to make that point. And then we're going to go
to a break and we'll get some phone callers and
we'll get the conversation going. What should parents do to
protect their children? You can't be with them twenty four hours.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
A day, no, and you shouldn't be. That's sort of
helicopter parenting and constant hovering is not the answer because
number one, that's not how you keep kids safe, and
number two, that impairs their development in other ways. Child
predators are like a football team that keeps winning with
(07:01):
a single play. But if we teach parents and families
and kids to recognize and defend that play, then that's
how we get ahead of them. So for a child
predator to succeed in sexually abusing a child, he it's
most often then needs three things. Access to a child
(07:24):
who is perceived as vulnerable, compliance from the child, and
to maintain gracy. So, given the child predators have three
requirements to succeed in sexually abusing kids, what parents and
other adults who care about kids need to do is
take a three pronged approach. So, in terms of access,
(07:46):
we all need to be mindful of who has access
to our children. And then also in terms of child
predators seek out children who they perceive as vulnerable, and
what that means for them is they seek out children
who they believe have low parental involvement and who they
(08:08):
perceive as having low self esteem and needing attention. So
the way that parents can use that information to help
keep their kids safe is to make themselves visible as parents.
And I don't mean hovering all the time. You know,
I'm a working mom with four children. I am certainly
(08:28):
unable to attend every event, every practice, every everything for
every child. But what I'm very conscious of doing is
making certain that all the adults in my kids' lives
know me, know I'm around, No, I'm paying attention, and
so I drop in unexpectedly on the babysitter, I introduce
(08:49):
myself to the coach, and I ask questions. I make
sure to seek out my kid's teacher. Then the other
thing that it's important to do is to make sure
that your children know how to move through the world
with confidence. Obviously there's a range in temperament. Some kids
are outgoing, some kids are shy. That's all fine, but
(09:10):
we want to build our kids confidence for many reasons.
That's just a good thing to do at baseline. But
if you teach your child to move through the world,
making eye contact, using a strong voice, showing a certain
degree of confidence in themselves, that makes them less of
a target for predators. Then the way that predators achieve
(09:32):
compliance from kids is through the grooming process. Grooming is
the process through which predators gain the trust of a child,
but predators also groom parents, families, colleagues, communities, and it's
through a set of very established behaviors. Parents need to
(09:53):
learn what those behaviors are, and you just start talking
to their kids about them. And then the last thing
the child predators need is secrecy. And so this is
maybe the simplest place to start these conversations with kids,
which is that adults never ask kids to keep secrets. Now,
a secret is different than a surprise. With a surprise,
(10:14):
people are going to find out and are expected to
be happy about it. So a surprise is making Grandma
a cake for her birthday. Secrets are different with the
secret nobody's ever supposed to find out, and people presumably
wouldn't be happy. Child predators need secrecy. So if we
teach children that adults never ask kids to keep secrets,
(10:35):
and if that happens, they should tell another adult immediately,
then that is a great first step to keeping kids safe.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Well, that was a whole lot of great information, and
so that's going to give us plenty of things to
talk about. But more importantly, I want to give parents
an opportunity to call join the conversation. Six one, seven, two, five,
four ten thirty six one seven, nine, three one ten thirty.
This is one of those subjects that are difficult to
talk about. However, it's so important we've found out about
(11:08):
it that literally you never know who could be a predator.
We found out during that the priest scandal, the priest
pedophile scandal, the abuse that went on in of all
places that you know most of us would not expect,
within a within a church, and it was covered up,
(11:32):
so secrets were kept. Exactly what you're talking about. We
will take a break if you'd like to join the conversation,
if you want to ask a question, if you've experienced
this yourself and you'd like to talk about it. You
don't have to go into great specifics, but I think
it's important for people to realize that they're not alone
(11:52):
if they've also been subjected to it. Six one, seven, two, five,
four ten thirty six one seven, nine three, one ten thirty.
None of us grew up in perfect households. Some of
us didn't even grow up in households. Some of us
were in more difficult circumstances. So with all the creatures
of our own experiences, and if there is an experience
(12:13):
that none of us want to ever be subjected to,
it's what we're talking about this evening and this hour
with doctor Brownwyn Carroll, Boston Medical Center. Back on Nightside
right after the break six one seven, two, five, four
ten thirty six one seven, nine three one ten thirty.
Coming back after.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
This night Side thought with Dan Ray. I'm w BZ,
Boston's news Radio.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
My guest is doctor Bronwyn Carol. She works at Boston
Medical Center and she deals. She's a pediatric emergency room
medicine physician, I should say, at Boston Medical Center, sister
Professor of Pediatrics at Boston University School of Medicine. Is
this I'll ask you a broader general question. Is this
(12:59):
a problem that we are going to have to live
with as a society going forward, or is it a
problem that is an American problem? You know, we have
a fairly open, free wee league society here, or is
this something that occurs in other countries, you know, with
(13:24):
greater frequency. I'm just trying to get my arms around
how much of an American issue this is as opposed
to a worldwide issue.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
This is a worldwide issue. The World Health Organization has
studied it extensively, and of course there's some variation and
there are you know, distinctions between different cultures in terms
of what happens and how it happens. But this is
something that happens everywhere. That said, I genuinely believe that
(13:54):
we can fix a significant portion of it just through
conversation and education. If every family knew how this happened,
and every family knew what to do about it, how
to get ahead of it, and how to speak about
it openly to their kids, what their kids needed to know,
(14:16):
child predators would no longer be able to operate as
they do now because going back to the football team,
everybody would know how to defend their play.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Okay, So the video that I watched with you today
or not with you, but of you. You were very
very specific in terms of how parents should approach not
only the issue of sexual abuse, which is an uncomfortable
topic because some of it can happen with relatives as
(14:52):
well as family friends. These are not This is not
a stranger danger issue. I would assume it's more someone
who already has access to the child. You did layout
which I thought in a very convincing manner, that parents
should be consistent with how they deal with their children.
(15:14):
And at what age would be the question that I
would have, is this issue something that should be broached
with children? Obviously that there's a certain age below which
I guess it's not helpful at all. Give us, give
us the parameters as to how people should handle it,
and what age can it first be introduced to children?
Speaker 3 (15:40):
Yes, so of course the way that you talk to
kids about this depends on the marriage and what's developmentally appropriate.
So with very young children two three four preschool age.
The two most important pieces of it are number ones
focusing on bodily autonomy and what I mean when I
(16:02):
say that is your body belongs to you. Nobody else
should be touching your body. Adults should not be showing
you their grown up bodies or asking you to touch
their grown up bodies. Those are just simple lessons that
kids can internalize from a young age. I think one
of the fears that parents have in talking about this
(16:24):
and thinking that it's going to be uncomfortable, is that
the worry that they're going to have to get into
nitty gritty details you don't at all. The messaging is simple.
Adults don't ask kids to keep secrets. No adults should
be touching or looking at your body, things like that.
The other part of it that we can do with
(16:44):
very young children is just teaching them to listen to
their inner voice. And what I mean when I say
that is we all have an inner voice that kind
of signals us when something feels uncomfortable or not writy
or just doesn't feel good to us. And with it
not with ill intention, of course, but just naturally. Adults
(17:07):
are frequently telling young children that the young child's inner
voice is incorrect. So a young child falls at the
park and is crying, an adult immediately rushes and it says, oh,
you're okay, and what the adult means is you're not
seriously hurt, and that's true, but the child doesn't feel okay,
(17:28):
which is why they're crying. And so when the child
is crying and you're giving them the message everything's fine,
there's a disconnect there and you're telling them that their
feelings are wrong. Another good example of this is kids
who are fearful of different things. You see it a
lot with kids who are scared of dogs, and adults
are constantly saying, Oh, there's nothing to be scared of.
(17:49):
The dog is friendly. This dog is so friendly. You know,
we understand how anxiety works with adults. If you had
a friend who was afraid of flying, you wouldn't think
that if you just said, oh, the plane is safe,
your friend would say, oh, that's okay, and hop on
the plane. But with kids, we dismiss their fears. Yeah,
here's why this matters.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Okay, when you talk about the inner voice, I hear
what you're saying. But is that also a developing conscience.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
It's a little bit of everything. And here, but here's
why it matters. The reason why it matters is because
when children find themselves in situations that feel uncomfortable to them,
we want them to be accustomed to listening to that
inner voice that says, I don't want to do this,
(18:41):
this doesn't feel right, and to have had their parents
encourage them listening to this. I wrote an article just
this past week that was published in Psychology Today, and
it was about the idea that kids should not be
forced to hug their relatives at holiday events or at
any event if they don't want to. And it's for
(19:02):
the same reason if a kid doesn't feel like showing
adults affection, we do not want to be giving them
the message that they are required to show adults affection,
or even worse, that they are expected to show affection
to keep adults happy. And the inner voice is something.
(19:23):
The inner voice is something that listening to that inner
voice will serve your child well as they continue to
grow up, because in adolescence and in young adulthood, that
is the same voice that might say, don't take the drink,
don't get in the car, let's leave the party, let's
end the deep and so teaching little kids to follow
(19:45):
those instincts is a good thing to do and is
an easy place to start.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Great advice. My guest is doctor Brunwin. Carol She is
a pediatric physician, and she has some really good advice here,
so please feel free to join the conversation. We're talking
about the fact that one in ten children experience some
form of sexual abuse before the age of eighteen.
Speaker 4 (20:10):
That is.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Just to me a mind blowing number. But apparently that
is the number that we're talking about. I guess we
could focus on the ninety percent and say, isn't good
that ninety percent don't experience sexual abuse? But when you
realize the damage that is done by adults to children
(20:33):
under the age of eighteen, and the long term aspects
of it, and sometimes the repetition general generationally that occurs,
and I want to talk about that. We will will
continue our conversation. We have to just pause for a
moment here at the bottom of the arraw. Doctor Bronwin Carroll,
pediatric emergency medical medicine, physician at Boston Medical Center, an
(20:56):
Assistant professor of pediatrics at Boston University School of Medicine.
I'm going to help you. You're going to help me
pronounce this because I know it's important to Chobanian and
Avedisian School of Medicine. Is am I correct on that pronunciation?
Close to it, close to it. Yeah, okay, good, that's
a very good I have a business school professor who
(21:17):
comes on, and he always wants to make sure that
we give credit to the business school, the name of
the business school, so I have to do the same
for the School of Medicine. Six one seven thirty six
one seven, nine thirty Back on Night Side with phone
calls for my guest, doctor Carroll. Coming back right after this.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
You're on Night Side with Dan Ray on w BZY,
Boston's news radio.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
My guest is doctor Brown and Carol and I think
that we have covered a lot of the basics of this.
I don't want to ask you a question inappropriately, but
what is the age or the age range that most
(22:06):
of these children who are reported to be sexually abused
before they reach the age of eighteen. I'm assuming that
there's a scale here, and I'm fearful of what your
answer might be, But my instinct tells me it's probably
going to be a lot younger than people realize.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
So I think that there are different types of situations
that all fall under this single ugly umbrella, right, so
what these things look like can be very different. Unfortunately,
child sexual abuse materials which used to be and is
(22:49):
still more commonly referred to as child pornography. The Internet
has opened up a whole new avenue for abusing children
because child pornography, there's no such thing in the sense
that all child pornography is is the documentation of the
sexual abuse of children. So those images can start with
(23:14):
shockingly young children like infants, which is just horrifying to
think about. I think that where kids become generally at
risk is it depends on the category abuse. So, as
you said before, children are overwhelmingly abused by people who
(23:38):
they know, and that can be different things. So for
those kids who it's family members, the kids who are
abused younger, it tends to be family members because that
makes sense, right, They're not out in the world yet
to meet people in other ways. So that's what happens
to the young kids. Then as children move more into
(24:01):
the school age range, that's a different group. That's who
the group was who. For example, you were talking about
this scandal in the Catholic Church, which follows the same
patterns as so many of these other stories. We get
these stories with coaches, with Boy Scouts, teachers, you know,
(24:23):
justin Massachusetts, if you put into a search engine Massachusetts
teacher arrested child sexual abuse, you get many, many news stories.
It's really shocking. So school age kids are vulnerable to
the people who they come into contact with doing the
(24:46):
activities that school age kids are supposed to be doing,
playing sports, going to school, going to clubs, going to
boy Scouts, going to church. Then as kids move into adolescence,
the risk shift a little bit because what sexual abuse
can look like then can start out as something you know,
(25:09):
it is developmentally appropriate for adolescents to be interested in
romance and dating and seccess normal the internet. This is
another place where the Internet comes in. The Internet has
opened up all kinds of avenues for what's termed sexploitation,
which is kids meet people online and sometimes they even
(25:33):
know that these are older people. But it might be
a teenage girl who starts chatting with a man who
she believes is twenty two twenty three until they meet
in person and it turns out he's much older and
he assaults her. And so adolescens can also be.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
At risk.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
As their social life changes right and all of a sudden.
Alcohol can become part of the equation, as can other substances. Obviously,
when people are victimized, it is never the victim's fault.
Victimization is caused by perpetrators. However, the introduction of alcohol
(26:19):
and substance use dramatically increases the risk of these events transpiring.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
Let's let's get some phone calls. Let me go first
to Carol in Randolph. Carol, you are first this hour
on Nice. I would talk to Ron Win Carrol, go
right ahead, Carol.
Speaker 5 (26:35):
Oh my god, I love what you're saying, and I
understand it. I was victimized when I was probably I
can't even remember, by six years old, and it was
a family member, and it was the whole guilt that
like I couldn't say anything because it would blow my
(26:57):
family up, and I live with that forever. And then
finally he died and I was able to finally tell
my parents what happened. And then it was the disbelief.
It was like, no, this didn't happen, and I know
(27:21):
we really did, and they didn't believe me, and it
just caused so much trauma for me in my life
because it was like, I'm sure.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
Doctor Carroll, why don't you just talk to Carol for
a moment here, because I think yeah, she wants to
hear from you.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
Yeah. So, first off, Carol, thank you for calling. I
am so terribly sorry to hear that this happened to you.
You are not alone, unfortunately. I mean, the whole basis
for my work is that your story is so common.
What I say to survivors is you are unfortunately a
(28:03):
member of a club that you did not ask to join.
I am trying as hard as I can to keep
your club from acquiring new members, and so much of
what you said is exactly what I'm trying to prevent.
(28:24):
Because one of the main reasons that kids give for
not disclosing sooner that adults say the reason that they
didn't disclose, it's what you said, fear of basically of
upsetting people, but then also fear of not being believed,
(28:45):
which sounds like what happened to you. And so I
think it is so important to get ahead of this
and to educate parents so that they know that this
does happen. They need to actively work to prevent it.
But if it does occur anyway, the most important thing
(29:08):
that they can do is to believe their child when
they disclose that I'm hoping that by getting that message
out other kids will not have your experience.
Speaker 5 (29:20):
I hope so. But you know, it was so hard
from my mom to believe it, and she was like, Nope,
this didn't happen.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
And Carol, thank thank you for having the courage to
call tonight, because I'm sure that there are one hundred
or five hundred or one thousand people who, for the
first time probably are hearing their story told in effect
by you, uh, and that they now maybe feel a
(29:51):
little better by the fact that you called and explain
to doctor doctor Carroll, what what not only you went
through with the hands of the abuser, but then what
you subsequently went through when you tried to talk about
it to family members. A lot of courage called Carol,
thank you very much.
Speaker 5 (30:12):
I mean, it was the hardest thing, and I mean
it brew a divide between my mom and I because
she she didn't believe me.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
And is your mom still alive?
Speaker 5 (30:28):
No, no, she passed before I would yeah, but she
was just like she just was like not a believer,
like this could have her happened to And I think
she knew, but maybe.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
She didn't want maybe she didn't want to acknowledge it.
Speaker 5 (30:48):
She couldn't acknowledge it and.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
Carol, I mean, Carol, I got to take a break.
I think you in about four minutes probably lifted a
burden off of the shoulders of a lot of other
people who are listening tonight. And I thank you so
much for having courage to call.
Speaker 4 (31:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:09):
And the one thing that I would add, Carol, is
that there is estimated that there are forty two million
adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse in the United States,
So you are not alone. And I would encourage you.
There are resources, there are support groups, and I would
encourage you to reach out and talk about it more
(31:30):
because that helps. Sexual abuse persists because of a culture
of silence and shame, and by shining light in these shadows,
that is how we affect cultural change.
Speaker 5 (31:45):
It has to be done.
Speaker 3 (31:47):
I mean no idea.
Speaker 5 (31:50):
I'm a surviver and I'm fine now, but it hurts.
I mean when your own mom doesn't believe you, and.
Speaker 3 (32:00):
That's very hard.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
Carol, Thank you for sharing, but I gotta get a
couple more callers in here after the break. Thank you
for the cu for your courage tonight. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
Bye bye, We'll take.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
A quick break. That's an incredible phone call. Gregory is
coming up, as is Rosie. We'll get you both in.
I promise coming back after this one night side.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
It's night Side with Dan Ray and Boston's news Radio.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
Okay, let me go to Gregory in Dorchester. Gregory next
on nights. I appreciate your calling. And you're all with
doctor Bronwyn Carrol'sted his start.
Speaker 4 (32:38):
My name is Gregory and I came here as a
young kid from Ireland. I sixteen and I was going
to the Irish dances and this greg I knew one
from home, and you're seeing me right and all that.
One night he told me to sleep over and he
(32:58):
try to attack me with him. I have a smart
enough I had him in the mouth, get out, get
out of the house. I think the reason is there's
an awful lot of it swept into the rugue, and
thank god today the kids are smarter in the way
they are. But there's too much information on the internet
(33:18):
that's not good either. But as far as hugging anybody
or don't fortune. I would never forced my kids to
hug me. I'd say I love you well, God bless
you and all that. And I want to say one
thing about the boss there, Dan Ray. He got the best,
the best program in the United States because I watched
(33:43):
seeing them and I watch Fox Dos and all that,
and I have more information from them every night, and
they understand politics better than than anybody. And I just
I'll be very very brief. I want to wish you
(34:03):
and your family a very happy, happy and merry Christmas.
And and then I to be your ancestor and Gaelic
would be a knowledge son of it. Night, and thank
your doctor for your information.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
Greg. Thank you. I know that you were able to
have a nice family and h and whatever was attempted you,
you prevented it. And uh you have a great reputation
in Dorchester and you know that. Night, I thank you
for letting people know that that it could happen to
anyone at any time, particularly when they're when they're young.
(34:41):
So Merry Christmas. Greg, Thanks for having the courage of
call tonight. I appreciate it immensely. Thank you, Greg, You're welcome.
Thanks night. Rosie is in Norwood. Rosie, you're next to
Night's side with my guest doctor Bronwin Carrol.
Speaker 1 (34:59):
Go ahead, Rosie, Hi, I have a question for doctor Carro.
Speaker 6 (35:03):
I love some of the points she made tonight about
telling teaching your children at very young age that their
body is theirs. But the question I have I know
of some adults today who were molested by their parents,
So how can you they're not going to tell their.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
Kids that their body is sacred? What can be done?
What can we do with you know?
Speaker 6 (35:26):
What can we be doing?
Speaker 3 (35:27):
Period? I don't know what to say here? Yeah, yeah, no,
I think this is a very important question and something
that I absolutely think about. My goal is that we
change the cultural conversation broadly. The one thing that I
think about is mothers against drunk driving. Now it's parents
(35:49):
against strump driving, I believe, But once upon a time,
drunk driving was relatively common and was considered I don't
know that I would say so acceptable but not remarkable,
And Mothers against drunk Driving was able to completely shift
the cultural narrative. And so what my hope is is
(36:10):
if we can start making talking to kids about sexual
abuse prevention part of standard injury prevention, just like we
talk about wearing seatbelts and not playing with matches and
not swimming without adult supervisions. So this is something that
kids hear from all sorts of places. They hear it
(36:32):
at school, they hear it through the media, they hear it,
you know, from their friends' parents. Then hopefully those kids
who are being sexually abused at home will get the
message elsewhere that this isn't right, and that will help
them disclose to perhaps another relative who they feel comfortable with,
(36:54):
or a teacher who they have a good relationship with,
or another adult too feeling safe. But you're absolutely right
that that is probably the hardest situation to get ahead
of us.
Speaker 6 (37:09):
Yeah, yeah, well it's a tough one. But thank you
for your insight, and I hope we get to that
that level of awareness at the younger kids age.
Speaker 3 (37:21):
I hope that happens. But thank you so much for
calling your insight you.
Speaker 2 (37:25):
Gave us, Rosie, appreciate appreciate your call. You raised an
aspect that I hadn't even thought of, and obviously that's
the that that's the worst situation for anyone, anyone possibly
to be betrayed by their own parents. Thanks, Rosie, appreciate it.
Here well, doctor Carroll, there are any resources that we
(37:46):
can refer people to who have listened tonight and want
to get more information. Is there a book or anything
that that you could refer people to that perhaps you
may have written yourself.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
So I am in the process us of writing a book,
although that is not something that can be purchased yet.
But I do have a website. It is Bronwyn Carroll
m D b R O n W U E n
C A R R O L L M D dot
com and not as links to articles I've written, and
also my social media Bronwyn Carrol MD is also my
(38:21):
handle on Instagram and TikTok, and I have lots of
short videos talking about all of these topics with quick
tips for people that hopefully people will find useful, and
when the book comes out, information about that will certainly
be on social media and on my website as well.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
Well. That's great. I watched some of the videos today
and you're very You're a very effective communicator. You speak
very clearly, and you speak with authority. So thank you
for spending your efforts to make people aware of this.
It's much more prevalent than any of us would could
possibly imagine. Thanks so much for your time, and I
(39:01):
hope you have a great holiday season and a happy
new year. We'll look forward to having you on when
your book comes out.
Speaker 3 (39:06):
Okay, thanks for having me. Happy holidays to.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
You too, Right back at you, thanks doctor, doctor Carroll,
Doctor Bronwin Carroll b R O n W E n
C A R R O L L M D dot com.
We're coming back on night Side right after the eleven
o'clock news
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