December 6, 2024 • 21 mins
Gary Tanguay filled in on NightSide:
While the holiday season is a time of joy for many, it can also be a period of sadness for many as well. Do you experience the “holiday blues,” a painful period of reflection, loneliness, anxiety, and depression? Psychologist Dr. Gregory Jantz joined Gary to talk about how to combat the holiday blues this season!
Ask Alexa to play WBZ NewsRadio on #iHeartRadio and listen to NightSide with Dan Rea Weeknights From 8PM-12AM!
While the holiday season is a time of joy for many, it can also be a period of sadness for many as well. Do you experience the “holiday blues,” a painful period of reflection, loneliness, anxiety, and depression? Psychologist Dr. Gregory Jantz joined Gary to talk about how to combat the holiday blues this season!
Ask Alexa to play WBZ NewsRadio on #iHeartRadio and listen to NightSide with Dan Rea Weeknights From 8PM-12AM!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's night Side with Dan Ray on WBZY Fouston's Me Radio.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
All right, al thanks a lot, I appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Six one, seven, four ten thirty WBC Nightside, Gary Tangling
for Dan Ray, Battling the holiday blues. Is holiday season.
This is a real thing. I talked about my mom
off the top of the show. It happens to a
lot of people. You know how I feel about mental health.
Everybody should have a therapist, everybody, everybody. And that's what
we're going to talk about right here with doctor Gregory
(00:28):
Jans who joins us right now. Doctor, how are you?
Thanks for joining us?
Speaker 3 (00:33):
Oh, I am alive and well. And you've said it
so well. This can be a very difficult time. That
two things that we see go up during this holiday
time is, as you said, depression. The second one is anxiety.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Well, you know, I think one of the problems is
everybody now right now, I'm in a great mood, Okay,
I am. I'm in a great mood. I'm looking forward
to the holidays. You know, some of the lights are
up street, We're going to get a wreath, we'll put
up the tree, all that stuff.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
And I'm in a great mood today. But I think what.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
The world tells us is if you're not in a
great mood at the holidays, something's wrong with you. It's okay.
If you're not in a great mood, you know it's okay, right,
isn't that the problem?
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Well, it is okay, And a lot of times there's
very good reasons why we may be struggling. We could
have had a loss this year, could have been a death,
some significant trauma. We could be coping with everything going
on in the culture, and we feel overwhelmed. And then
we've got okay. These expectations real are perceived. Some people
(01:46):
believe they have to have be a certain way, and
there's a lot of perfectionism. Yes, you know, wound tight
this time of the year, so we need to look okay.
There's perceived expectations, and then there's the expectations I may
have of myself. I'm supposed to feel a certain way
even though there's been some tough stuff, and maybe this
this Christmas, this holiday is going to be different.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
I think you nailed it.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
You know, you nailed it, like you know, like we
have a I'm dumbing it down, but I have a
rule in my house. Sweatpants are okay during holidays, you know,
I mean, it's okay, it's okay, it's you don't you
don't have to.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
You don't have to dress up.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
You don't have to, you know, put on the bright
red and all that stuff, you know, sweatpants and me
and a catch potatoes being okay at the holidays.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
But based on your experience, when.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
You obviously have researched this and know a lot about this,
what is the underlying reason?
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Is there one?
Speaker 1 (02:40):
I mean we've mentioned a lot of different things, but
is there one particular one that stands out more than others.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
Well, there are probably three things we need to look
at that could be significant triggers for in CREA. So
if you're already struggling with depression, let's say so some
of these things can cause all those symptoms to feel
even more cute. And I want to acknowledge that I
know this can be a tough time. We have worked
with clients from across the country and I see the
(03:07):
intensity and the acuity. Here's the first thing to be
aware of. Is there a person that you are afraid
of seeing? Okay, maybe there's some history of abuse or
emotional abuse or some sort of abuse and you end
up at a family event and you're already afraid of
(03:29):
seeing this person.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
Wow, So the anxiety level is already high, and you
believe I have to be there, I have to see
this person that maybe there is some significant trauma around,
maybe it's betrayal or something happened. But you're already nearly
in a panic attack because you're worried about I'm going
(03:52):
to see this person again.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
So that that's more common than what you realize well.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Known, But I yes it is, and I never thought
of it. But you're absolutely right. I've never but I've
just never thought of it that way. Anyhow, I want
you to continue with the other ones. But while we're
on this particular subject, I think that there is a
perception that, you know, the holidays it's a time for family.
(04:21):
It's okay if you don't like some of your family.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Well, and we're not. And let me just say every
family I'm going to include myself, every family has that
one family member, at least one who you know. They're
the ones that they say things that are at times hurtful.
They're the one that you I could go without seeing them.
You know, they might be a person that's over consumed.
(04:48):
They overeat, they overdrink, you know, So every family has
somebody that fits into that category.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Yeah, it's interesting.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
My one of my cousins, my elder cousins, gave me
a vice ones and he said, there's a reason why
at the age of eighteen, you're supposed to leave the nest.
You know, nowadays it's like twenty three, twenty four to
twenty five because kids can't afford to live on their own.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
But it was kind of like, you know, he said
to me, because.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
We were talking about some family drama and stuff, you know,
and then he just said, you know, you're not supposed
to be You're not supposed to you're not supposed to be.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Like in your parents' house.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
It's there's a reason why you leave at eighteen or
nineteen and you go out and you do other things,
you know, And I remember that and it kind of
you know, it makes a lot of.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Sense, absolutely, And you know, there's also something we can do.
I call it grace. There are some family members there's
some issues. You know what, instead of being so critical
and judgmental, this could be a time to give a
little bit of grace or a lot of grace, great grace,
(05:57):
And by that, I mean you're not excusing me. But
it's not the time to get into the debate. It's
not the time to create conflict or debate over something.
So see this time as a time where Okay, I
know there's issues, but this is not the time to
(06:18):
jump into those issues.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Oh boy, that yeah, I am having Oh my god, doctor,
I am having flashbacks. Can I call you Greg, by
the way, Let's do it, okay, Greg, Fine, I just
had a flashback too. I think I was like nine
or ten, and we had a small ranch house up
in Maine.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
You know, it wasn't even a thousand square feet, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
And my uncle Jimmy, who was a mill manager, and
I'm from a paper mill town, so everybody worked in
the paper mill. That's how the town existed. And my
other uncle, Ted was he was an electrician. He was
more of a laborer. So we had like management in
labor in the same living room. We called them parlors
(07:01):
back then that I swear to God, it couldn't. It's small,
I mean real small. And they got into a huge
debate about the mill and what was going on in
the mill, and they were yelling at each other. And
this was Christmas Eve.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
You remember that.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Oh I remember that big time. Oh yeah, I remember.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
That big I felt about it and just how negative
it was.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
I don't know if I thought it was negative. I
think I might have thought it was exciting because it wasn't.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
Really a lot going on, you know.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
But you know what I did, dude, you know, I remember,
I remember. That's what I what I do remember about it.
It was a reality check on life, because that's when
I first I started to understand, you can help me
out this, help me out with this. Uh social hierarchy,
is that the right word. I mean labor management, you
(07:58):
know where I thought said, well, everybody just went to
work in the mill and everybody just got along. And
that wasn't the case. You know, you had bosses and
you had worker bees. And you know, that's when I
think I started to understand, you know, maybe social structure.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
To be quite honest with you, yes.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Right, so, and that's a great example. So but we
also need to be careful about and this is my
other little point here, is there issues from the past
that you're carrying into the present. So the issues from
the past and that could be expectations well, we have
(08:40):
to do it the way Mom always did it, even
though she's been gone for ten years. So we're carrying
the past where maybe we need to focus on creating
maybe our new traditions. But if if I'm comparing myself
to somebody else, maybe it's not with us anymore. That
(09:02):
could be an issue. If I have issues or beliefs
around food, it has to be just this and serve
just this way, and I'm so rigid it's no longer enjoyable, right,
So just some things to think about. If you have
a person in your family that's they're just not that
(09:24):
they're not a safe person, have a pre planned strategy.
So what are the three topics that I know I
could talk about that are safe and what are the
ones I'm going to avoid? Do I need to have
somebody always standing next to me if I'm going to
be physically near this person, you know, kind of have
my own little emotional guard with me. Do I have
(09:48):
an exit plan or strategy things start going the wrong way?
At what point on the scale of one to ten
do I decide it's time to leave? I mean, that
happen at times.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Here's another suggestion. Serve only beer no whiskey.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
Yeah, I would agree.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Yeah, like, don't go with the herd stuff. You know,
if people want to have and one of the things. Now,
at least I see it with the younger generations. They
don't drive, which is which is fine. But when you
start bringing in the hard stuff nothing. You know, if
somebody wants to have a couple of beers, fine, but
you start bringing it into the hard stuff, things generally
don't go well. Our guest right here talking about the
(10:31):
holiday blues is psychologist doctor Gregory Chance.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Doctor, can you hang out for one more segment?
Speaker 3 (10:37):
You got it?
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Okay, we're going to talk about establishing new traditions, transitioning,
and family vacations.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Next here on wbz's night Side. Now back to Dan
ray Mine from the Window.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
World night Side Studios on WBZ News Radio.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Hey, Gary tang Tonight's psychologist doctor Gregory.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
Jans joins just we call them Greg here on the
program Battling the Holiday Blue. Okay, so you just made
some great points.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
Doctor.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
By the way, and while we have time, I want
you to tell us about the free trauma test you
wanted to discuss.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
Oh sure, this is just a wonderful opportunity to get
some feedback and it's totally confidential. Just simply go to
my website a Place of Hope dot com and from
a Place of Hope you'll see a little tab there
it says test and it is truly confidential. It's going
to give you some feedback. Now, there's some tough questions,
(11:32):
so just know that the number one thing that folks
are seeking helpful right now across our country. Yes, depressions high. Yes,
anxiety is the number one diagnosis. But what people are
saying is I need help for trauma. I've been traumatized.
Trauma is the word that's being used. And folks are overwhelmed,
(11:55):
They're weary, some of you know, really struggling, and everything
seems more intense. And that's when I say there's a
lot of high acuity. We've never seen the level of
anxiety be what it is right now, as well as
our addiction rates are probably the highest we've ever seen
so post pandemic. Both COVID the addiction rates have continued
(12:20):
to climb.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Why do you feel that do you have an idea?
Speaker 3 (12:24):
Well, I think people are weary. There's a weariness. We
look and go what and the world's going on? Well,
there was a lot of things that happened and COVID,
and we're still seeing our kids that are suffering. We
are seeing, particularly our twelve to seventeen year olds, who
(12:45):
not only are academically behind, but we're seeing a lot
of influence of the social media and the mental health issues.
The suicide rates among our youth have never been as
high as they are now.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
Yeah, and social media is a part of it. I mean,
there's no doubt. I mean media is a part of it.
You know.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
I talked about this at the opening of the show.
I was listening to a podcast here and you can
catch out a great podcast here on iHeart with Anderson Cooper.
He's a guest, and they were talking about the news.
When you get the news with Walter Crime guid it
was eighteen minutes a night and it was pretty simple.
But now we have all this information, so now it's
(13:23):
more diverse. It's you have various viewpoints. But maybe there's
too much information and that's what's causing this anxiety.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
Well, we're oversaturated. And then the big thing that's happened
is people go, I don't know what's true, I don't
know who to trust.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Oh, there's no doubt.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
So that distrust is at a very high level. And
so then I keep scrolling and doom scrolling, and I
just get oversaturated. And truly, I'm oversaturated with all the
negative and I don't know what's reality. And so that's
what's happening.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
You know what.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
I talked about this too at the beginning of the show,
and I think one of the reasons that we focus
on the negative because as I was listening to the
s Anderson Cooper podcast, he said, look, everyone says, why
don't you report the good news? The reality is the
bad news gets the ratings because we're attracted to the
bad news. We're attracted to the horror stores, we're attracted
to the accident on the highway, rubbernecking, so forth. And
(14:19):
I think, and you could to this is my half
assed theory. I think, as a defense mechanism, as a
human being, or for that matter, any species, when you're born, as.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
A defense mechanism to exist in.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
The world you are, it's in eight that you pay
attention to the negative or to the danger.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
How about that.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
Fight or flight. I always have to be alert. So
people right now, they're hyper vigilant. People are easily offended
way too much, way too much, and people are quick
to go on attack. We were seeing so oh much.
I just call it critical judgments. People are so overly critical,
(15:05):
and so people are in emotional attack modes. So let's
say you go, you're in the holidays and and you're
you know, you've got a family member, and it's it's
an attack mode. I just those are challenging.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Well, I mean, I mean doctor, I mean the fact
that two people can't and this happens if one person
voted for Trump and the one person voted for Harris
and you can't coexist is nauseating.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
We need to be able to be respectful and get
along with one another. You don't have to agree with everything.
And it's and so you know, I think there's a
message out there that it really says, you know, attack, attack, attack,
So I just let's be aware of that. The other
(15:54):
thing I like to mention is be careful about isolation. Yes, yes, loneliness,
some isolation during this time we get in our own mind,
we isolate. We'd get too much into social media and
that isolation. Then we start drinking or we start doing
things that are not healthy. So watch for the isolation.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
You know another thing, doctor is gambling, online gambling, during
online gambling, during COVID brutals.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Oh yes, brutal.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
Oh yes, yes, I'm glad you mentioned that, because that's
that's the one addiction that kind of gets forgotten. So
but it's easy to slide into.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Okay, let's talk about establishing new traditions because one of
the things that I noticed with my family is as
my parents got older and my aunts and uncles got older,
they were too old and tired to hold, you know,
to host you know, my Uncle ten and Uncle Jimmy
fighting in the living room, or they were just you know,
they weren't going to have thirty people in the house,
(16:54):
you know, you know singing Christmas carols. You know, they're
getting in the seventies and eighties, and I think families
have a tough time transitioning or passing the torch to
the next generation because they don't know what to do
with the holidays.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Yes, and there hasn't been a great emphasis on tradition.
Tradition gives us not only predictability, but it's emotional anchor
points and it brings us together on common ground. So
sometimes we need what traditions do we want to keep
or maybe make new ones. One of the things that
(17:30):
really can be fun to look at is how do
I want to serve others? And we tried an experimented
Thanksgiving with our family and it was all about We're
going to spend a couple hours and I know it sounds,
you know, not like a big deal, but what we
went and we served and helped serve meals and just
(17:52):
to get out of the norm. And then we talked
about it as a family. Is this something How was
it for you? We want to do again?
Speaker 1 (18:01):
You mean you went to a shelter? Yes, oh yeah,
we yes, We've done that with our family.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
Yeah. Here in Boston. It's it's an outstanding idea.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
So it gets you thinking differently and it also helps
you become a little more grateful most of the time
and just a little more empathy of what others may
be going through.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
Well, here's my deal, and I understand there are financial
considerations with this, unless you'd love to cook cater I mean,
whole foods, whatever, shaws who I mean, you know, there's restaurants,
you know, you can have the family chip in. You
get cousins and uncles coming, everybody throws some money in,
(18:45):
go pick it up in a box and reheat the
damn thing, because you know, I just I've.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Seen too much aggravation.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
My dad used to say, my mom would spend all
morning cooking, right like, we're gonna make we gotta make
this worth it. You know, we got to listen. We
got to you know, social appreciation. Okay, before I let
you go here. Advice for big family vacations cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents,
because a lot of the times grandparents want to take
a crew on vacation.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
Yes, pre create your agenda and your daily flow sheets,
and then what is You've got to be really clear
on expectations. Is everybody doing everything or did you build
in free time? And are we allowing for individual differences
and preferences? Sometimes they're expectators. Hey, we're all going and
(19:37):
we're all together all the time, and somebody becomes the
chief and trying to direct it all and then there
ends up being conflict. So how do we build this
and I think shorter the better. How do we build
(20:01):
this where it's going to be positive for most folks?
And what are the expectations? So we hear we're gonna
have a family, probably two family meetings before we even
launch on this adventure.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
And hopefully there are no fights during those family meetings.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
That's we're gonna sort it out ahead of time.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Yeah, thank you, doctor Gregory Chance. And again your website again, sir,
you want to put that out?
Speaker 3 (20:30):
Yeah, yeah, it's a place, a place of hoope dot com.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
Yes, check out the free trauma test.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
Okay, doctor joined the holidays, may may they be stress free.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
Hey, and we can work together. That's right, thank you?
Speaker 2 (20:47):
All right, thank you, doctor, appreciate the time.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
Good stuff, Doctor Gregor Chance, showing us here on WBZ
dealing with the.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
Holiday blase and dealing with family. Coming up next.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Do you want to like Boston cream Pie? Do you
think you'll get lucky smelling like Boston cream Pie? Well,
I guess it depends if she likes doughnuts. That's next
on WBZ
It's night Side with Dan Ray on WBZY Fouston's Me Radio.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
All right, al thanks a lot, I appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Six one, seven, four ten thirty WBC Nightside, Gary Tangling
for Dan Ray, Battling the holiday blues. Is holiday season.
This is a real thing. I talked about my mom
off the top of the show. It happens to a
lot of people. You know how I feel about mental health.
Everybody should have a therapist, everybody, everybody. And that's what
we're going to talk about right here with doctor Gregory
(00:28):
Jans who joins us right now. Doctor, how are you?
Thanks for joining us?
Speaker 3 (00:33):
Oh, I am alive and well. And you've said it
so well. This can be a very difficult time. That
two things that we see go up during this holiday
time is, as you said, depression. The second one is anxiety.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Well, you know, I think one of the problems is
everybody now right now, I'm in a great mood, Okay,
I am. I'm in a great mood. I'm looking forward
to the holidays. You know, some of the lights are
up street, We're going to get a wreath, we'll put
up the tree, all that stuff.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
And I'm in a great mood today. But I think what.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
The world tells us is if you're not in a
great mood at the holidays, something's wrong with you. It's okay.
If you're not in a great mood, you know it's okay, right,
isn't that the problem?
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Well, it is okay, And a lot of times there's
very good reasons why we may be struggling. We could
have had a loss this year, could have been a death,
some significant trauma. We could be coping with everything going
on in the culture, and we feel overwhelmed. And then
we've got okay. These expectations real are perceived. Some people
(01:46):
believe they have to have be a certain way, and
there's a lot of perfectionism. Yes, you know, wound tight
this time of the year, so we need to look okay.
There's perceived expectations, and then there's the expectations I may
have of myself. I'm supposed to feel a certain way
even though there's been some tough stuff, and maybe this
this Christmas, this holiday is going to be different.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
I think you nailed it.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
You know, you nailed it, like you know, like we
have a I'm dumbing it down, but I have a
rule in my house. Sweatpants are okay during holidays, you know,
I mean, it's okay, it's okay, it's you don't you
don't have to.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
You don't have to dress up.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
You don't have to, you know, put on the bright
red and all that stuff, you know, sweatpants and me
and a catch potatoes being okay at the holidays.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
But based on your experience, when.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
You obviously have researched this and know a lot about this,
what is the underlying reason?
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Is there one?
Speaker 1 (02:40):
I mean we've mentioned a lot of different things, but
is there one particular one that stands out more than others.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
Well, there are probably three things we need to look
at that could be significant triggers for in CREA. So
if you're already struggling with depression, let's say so some
of these things can cause all those symptoms to feel
even more cute. And I want to acknowledge that I
know this can be a tough time. We have worked
with clients from across the country and I see the
(03:07):
intensity and the acuity. Here's the first thing to be
aware of. Is there a person that you are afraid
of seeing? Okay, maybe there's some history of abuse or
emotional abuse or some sort of abuse and you end
up at a family event and you're already afraid of
(03:29):
seeing this person.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
Wow, So the anxiety level is already high, and you
believe I have to be there, I have to see
this person that maybe there is some significant trauma around,
maybe it's betrayal or something happened. But you're already nearly
in a panic attack because you're worried about I'm going
(03:52):
to see this person again.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
So that that's more common than what you realize well.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Known, But I yes it is, and I never thought
of it. But you're absolutely right. I've never but I've
just never thought of it that way. Anyhow, I want
you to continue with the other ones. But while we're
on this particular subject, I think that there is a
perception that, you know, the holidays it's a time for family.
(04:21):
It's okay if you don't like some of your family.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Well, and we're not. And let me just say every
family I'm going to include myself, every family has that
one family member, at least one who you know. They're
the ones that they say things that are at times hurtful.
They're the one that you I could go without seeing them.
You know, they might be a person that's over consumed.
(04:48):
They overeat, they overdrink, you know, So every family has
somebody that fits into that category.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Yeah, it's interesting.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
My one of my cousins, my elder cousins, gave me
a vice ones and he said, there's a reason why
at the age of eighteen, you're supposed to leave the nest.
You know, nowadays it's like twenty three, twenty four to
twenty five because kids can't afford to live on their own.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
But it was kind of like, you know, he said
to me, because.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
We were talking about some family drama and stuff, you know,
and then he just said, you know, you're not supposed
to be You're not supposed to you're not supposed to be.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Like in your parents' house.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
It's there's a reason why you leave at eighteen or
nineteen and you go out and you do other things,
you know, And I remember that and it kind of
you know, it makes a lot of.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Sense, absolutely, And you know, there's also something we can do.
I call it grace. There are some family members there's
some issues. You know what, instead of being so critical
and judgmental, this could be a time to give a
little bit of grace or a lot of grace, great grace,
(05:57):
And by that, I mean you're not excusing me. But
it's not the time to get into the debate. It's
not the time to create conflict or debate over something.
So see this time as a time where Okay, I
know there's issues, but this is not the time to
(06:18):
jump into those issues.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Oh boy, that yeah, I am having Oh my god, doctor,
I am having flashbacks. Can I call you Greg, by
the way, Let's do it, okay, Greg, Fine, I just
had a flashback too. I think I was like nine
or ten, and we had a small ranch house up
in Maine.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
You know, it wasn't even a thousand square feet, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
And my uncle Jimmy, who was a mill manager, and
I'm from a paper mill town, so everybody worked in
the paper mill. That's how the town existed. And my
other uncle, Ted was he was an electrician. He was
more of a laborer. So we had like management in
labor in the same living room. We called them parlors
(07:01):
back then that I swear to God, it couldn't. It's small,
I mean real small. And they got into a huge
debate about the mill and what was going on in
the mill, and they were yelling at each other. And
this was Christmas Eve.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
You remember that.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Oh I remember that big time. Oh yeah, I remember.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
That big I felt about it and just how negative
it was.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
I don't know if I thought it was negative. I
think I might have thought it was exciting because it wasn't.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
Really a lot going on, you know.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
But you know what I did, dude, you know, I remember,
I remember. That's what I what I do remember about it.
It was a reality check on life, because that's when
I first I started to understand, you can help me
out this, help me out with this. Uh social hierarchy,
is that the right word. I mean labor management, you
(07:58):
know where I thought said, well, everybody just went to
work in the mill and everybody just got along. And
that wasn't the case. You know, you had bosses and
you had worker bees. And you know, that's when I
think I started to understand, you know, maybe social structure.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
To be quite honest with you, yes.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Right, so, and that's a great example. So but we
also need to be careful about and this is my
other little point here, is there issues from the past
that you're carrying into the present. So the issues from
the past and that could be expectations well, we have
(08:40):
to do it the way Mom always did it, even
though she's been gone for ten years. So we're carrying
the past where maybe we need to focus on creating
maybe our new traditions. But if if I'm comparing myself
to somebody else, maybe it's not with us anymore. That
(09:02):
could be an issue. If I have issues or beliefs
around food, it has to be just this and serve
just this way, and I'm so rigid it's no longer enjoyable, right,
So just some things to think about. If you have
a person in your family that's they're just not that
(09:24):
they're not a safe person, have a pre planned strategy.
So what are the three topics that I know I
could talk about that are safe and what are the
ones I'm going to avoid? Do I need to have
somebody always standing next to me if I'm going to
be physically near this person, you know, kind of have
my own little emotional guard with me. Do I have
(09:48):
an exit plan or strategy things start going the wrong way?
At what point on the scale of one to ten
do I decide it's time to leave? I mean, that
happen at times.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Here's another suggestion. Serve only beer no whiskey.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
Yeah, I would agree.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Yeah, like, don't go with the herd stuff. You know,
if people want to have and one of the things. Now,
at least I see it with the younger generations. They
don't drive, which is which is fine. But when you
start bringing in the hard stuff nothing. You know, if
somebody wants to have a couple of beers, fine, but
you start bringing it into the hard stuff, things generally
don't go well. Our guest right here talking about the
(10:31):
holiday blues is psychologist doctor Gregory Chance.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Doctor, can you hang out for one more segment?
Speaker 3 (10:37):
You got it?
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Okay, we're going to talk about establishing new traditions, transitioning,
and family vacations.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Next here on wbz's night Side. Now back to Dan
ray Mine from the Window.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
World night Side Studios on WBZ News Radio.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Hey, Gary tang Tonight's psychologist doctor Gregory.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
Jans joins just we call them Greg here on the
program Battling the Holiday Blue. Okay, so you just made
some great points.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
Doctor.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
By the way, and while we have time, I want
you to tell us about the free trauma test you
wanted to discuss.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
Oh sure, this is just a wonderful opportunity to get
some feedback and it's totally confidential. Just simply go to
my website a Place of Hope dot com and from
a Place of Hope you'll see a little tab there
it says test and it is truly confidential. It's going
to give you some feedback. Now, there's some tough questions,
(11:32):
so just know that the number one thing that folks
are seeking helpful right now across our country. Yes, depressions high. Yes,
anxiety is the number one diagnosis. But what people are
saying is I need help for trauma. I've been traumatized.
Trauma is the word that's being used. And folks are overwhelmed,
(11:55):
They're weary, some of you know, really struggling, and everything
seems more intense. And that's when I say there's a
lot of high acuity. We've never seen the level of
anxiety be what it is right now, as well as
our addiction rates are probably the highest we've ever seen
so post pandemic. Both COVID the addiction rates have continued
(12:20):
to climb.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Why do you feel that do you have an idea?
Speaker 3 (12:24):
Well, I think people are weary. There's a weariness. We
look and go what and the world's going on? Well,
there was a lot of things that happened and COVID,
and we're still seeing our kids that are suffering. We
are seeing, particularly our twelve to seventeen year olds, who
(12:45):
not only are academically behind, but we're seeing a lot
of influence of the social media and the mental health issues.
The suicide rates among our youth have never been as
high as they are now.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
Yeah, and social media is a part of it. I mean,
there's no doubt. I mean media is a part of it.
You know.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
I talked about this at the opening of the show.
I was listening to a podcast here and you can
catch out a great podcast here on iHeart with Anderson Cooper.
He's a guest, and they were talking about the news.
When you get the news with Walter Crime guid it
was eighteen minutes a night and it was pretty simple.
But now we have all this information, so now it's
(13:23):
more diverse. It's you have various viewpoints. But maybe there's
too much information and that's what's causing this anxiety.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
Well, we're oversaturated. And then the big thing that's happened
is people go, I don't know what's true, I don't
know who to trust.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Oh, there's no doubt.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
So that distrust is at a very high level. And
so then I keep scrolling and doom scrolling, and I
just get oversaturated. And truly, I'm oversaturated with all the
negative and I don't know what's reality. And so that's
what's happening.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
You know what.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
I talked about this too at the beginning of the show,
and I think one of the reasons that we focus
on the negative because as I was listening to the
s Anderson Cooper podcast, he said, look, everyone says, why
don't you report the good news? The reality is the
bad news gets the ratings because we're attracted to the
bad news. We're attracted to the horror stores, we're attracted
to the accident on the highway, rubbernecking, so forth. And
(14:19):
I think, and you could to this is my half
assed theory. I think, as a defense mechanism, as a
human being, or for that matter, any species, when you're born, as.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
A defense mechanism to exist in.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
The world you are, it's in eight that you pay
attention to the negative or to the danger.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
How about that.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
Fight or flight. I always have to be alert. So
people right now, they're hyper vigilant. People are easily offended
way too much, way too much, and people are quick
to go on attack. We were seeing so oh much.
I just call it critical judgments. People are so overly critical,
(15:05):
and so people are in emotional attack modes. So let's
say you go, you're in the holidays and and you're
you know, you've got a family member, and it's it's
an attack mode. I just those are challenging.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Well, I mean, I mean doctor, I mean the fact
that two people can't and this happens if one person
voted for Trump and the one person voted for Harris
and you can't coexist is nauseating.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
We need to be able to be respectful and get
along with one another. You don't have to agree with everything.
And it's and so you know, I think there's a
message out there that it really says, you know, attack, attack, attack,
So I just let's be aware of that. The other
(15:54):
thing I like to mention is be careful about isolation. Yes, yes, loneliness,
some isolation during this time we get in our own mind,
we isolate. We'd get too much into social media and
that isolation. Then we start drinking or we start doing
things that are not healthy. So watch for the isolation.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
You know another thing, doctor is gambling, online gambling, during
online gambling, during COVID brutals.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Oh yes, brutal.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
Oh yes, yes, I'm glad you mentioned that, because that's
that's the one addiction that kind of gets forgotten. So
but it's easy to slide into.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Okay, let's talk about establishing new traditions because one of
the things that I noticed with my family is as
my parents got older and my aunts and uncles got older,
they were too old and tired to hold, you know,
to host you know, my Uncle ten and Uncle Jimmy
fighting in the living room, or they were just you know,
they weren't going to have thirty people in the house,
(16:54):
you know, you know singing Christmas carols. You know, they're
getting in the seventies and eighties, and I think families
have a tough time transitioning or passing the torch to
the next generation because they don't know what to do
with the holidays.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Yes, and there hasn't been a great emphasis on tradition.
Tradition gives us not only predictability, but it's emotional anchor
points and it brings us together on common ground. So
sometimes we need what traditions do we want to keep
or maybe make new ones. One of the things that
(17:30):
really can be fun to look at is how do
I want to serve others? And we tried an experimented
Thanksgiving with our family and it was all about We're
going to spend a couple hours and I know it sounds,
you know, not like a big deal, but what we
went and we served and helped serve meals and just
(17:52):
to get out of the norm. And then we talked
about it as a family. Is this something How was
it for you? We want to do again?
Speaker 1 (18:01):
You mean you went to a shelter? Yes, oh yeah,
we yes, We've done that with our family.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
Yeah. Here in Boston. It's it's an outstanding idea.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
So it gets you thinking differently and it also helps
you become a little more grateful most of the time
and just a little more empathy of what others may
be going through.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
Well, here's my deal, and I understand there are financial
considerations with this, unless you'd love to cook cater I mean,
whole foods, whatever, shaws who I mean, you know, there's restaurants,
you know, you can have the family chip in. You
get cousins and uncles coming, everybody throws some money in,
(18:45):
go pick it up in a box and reheat the
damn thing, because you know, I just I've.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Seen too much aggravation.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
My dad used to say, my mom would spend all
morning cooking, right like, we're gonna make we gotta make
this worth it. You know, we got to listen. We
got to you know, social appreciation. Okay, before I let
you go here. Advice for big family vacations cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents,
because a lot of the times grandparents want to take
a crew on vacation.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
Yes, pre create your agenda and your daily flow sheets,
and then what is You've got to be really clear
on expectations. Is everybody doing everything or did you build
in free time? And are we allowing for individual differences
and preferences? Sometimes they're expectators. Hey, we're all going and
(19:37):
we're all together all the time, and somebody becomes the
chief and trying to direct it all and then there
ends up being conflict. So how do we build this
and I think shorter the better. How do we build
(20:01):
this where it's going to be positive for most folks?
And what are the expectations? So we hear we're gonna
have a family, probably two family meetings before we even
launch on this adventure.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
And hopefully there are no fights during those family meetings.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
That's we're gonna sort it out ahead of time.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Yeah, thank you, doctor Gregory Chance. And again your website again, sir,
you want to put that out?
Speaker 3 (20:30):
Yeah, yeah, it's a place, a place of hoope dot com.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
Yes, check out the free trauma test.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
Okay, doctor joined the holidays, may may they be stress free.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
Hey, and we can work together. That's right, thank you?
Speaker 2 (20:47):
All right, thank you, doctor, appreciate the time.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
Good stuff, Doctor Gregor Chance, showing us here on WBZ
dealing with the.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
Holiday blase and dealing with family. Coming up next.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Do you want to like Boston cream Pie? Do you
think you'll get lucky smelling like Boston cream Pie? Well,
I guess it depends if she likes doughnuts. That's next
on WBZ
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