December 3, 2024 • 39 mins
We kicked off the program with four news stories and different guests on the stories we think you need to know about!
Tips for donating on Giving Tuesday and this holiday season. What to be aware of… With Paula Fleming - Chief Marketing and Sales Officer for the Better Business Bureau Boston Division.
Paul Martino – Founder of RelationshipDevelopment.Org & Author of "The Missing Piece: A Proven Method to Single-Handedly Transform Your Relationship and Create Harmony in Your Home" joined Dan Rea.
Dr. Matthew Chalmers – Chiropractor & Healthy Living Expert checked in with Dan to discuss Christmas Movies: Why do some people love them and others hate them?
Dr. Deeb Salem - Senior Vice President for Academic Integration at Tufts Medicine joined Dan to discuss the Physician Pathway Act, an innovative and important program that could potentially be a big difference-maker in the primary care physician shortage in Massachusetts.
Ask Alexa to play WBZ NewsRadio on #iHeartRadio and listen to NightSide with Dan Rea Weeknights From 8PM-12AM!
Tips for donating on Giving Tuesday and this holiday season. What to be aware of… With Paula Fleming - Chief Marketing and Sales Officer for the Better Business Bureau Boston Division.
Paul Martino – Founder of RelationshipDevelopment.Org & Author of "The Missing Piece: A Proven Method to Single-Handedly Transform Your Relationship and Create Harmony in Your Home" joined Dan Rea.
Dr. Matthew Chalmers – Chiropractor & Healthy Living Expert checked in with Dan to discuss Christmas Movies: Why do some people love them and others hate them?
Dr. Deeb Salem - Senior Vice President for Academic Integration at Tufts Medicine joined Dan to discuss the Physician Pathway Act, an innovative and important program that could potentially be a big difference-maker in the primary care physician shortage in Massachusetts.
Ask Alexa to play WBZ NewsRadio on #iHeartRadio and listen to NightSide with Dan Rea Weeknights From 8PM-12AM!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
It's night Side with Dan Ray on WBZ, Boston's news
radio home.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Thank you very much to call as we start a
very cold Tuesday night. I hope none of you are
out sitting on the beach tonight listening on your ten
transistor radio. No, no, no, no, no, stay inside. It's
chilly out there, that's for sure. If you have to
be outside, hopefully you're all buttoned up. My name's Dan Ray,
as the goal indicated, the host of Nightside. We are
(00:27):
in our eighteenth year here on Nightside on WBZ, and
we've got another great show for you tonight. Before we
get to our guests in this first hour, let me
just mention a couple of things, little bookkeeping. First of all,
always want to thank Rob Brooks, who's back in the
control room and Broadcast Central. Wanted to mention there's a
couple of programs upcoming. Every program on Nightside is great.
(00:49):
But on Monday night we will do our eighteenth annual
college admissions panel with the Deans of Admission from Harvard
and Boston College, Bill Fitzsimmons from Harvard and Grant Gostlin
from Boston College. So, if you have a child, a grandchild,
someone in high school, eighth grade, ninth grade, tenth grade,
(01:13):
eleventh grade. They're just getting into this college application business
that you want them to listen and you may want
to listen to on Monday night beginning at eight o'clock
with Bill Fitzsimmons and grand Gostlin. They will take phone calls,
answer questions and we will try to bring everyone up
to date, particularly people who are going through the college
application process for the first time. Busy time of year
(01:35):
for any admissions director, and both Bill Fitzsimmons and Grant
Gostlin are very generous in their time. I will also
tell you that we are trying to pull together the
twelfth annual Night Side Charity Combine. We do that my
last couple of hours of the broadcast year, which this
year will be on Friday December twenty twenty, which is
a Friday of twenty twenty four. We do it all remotely,
(01:58):
So if you have some in your circle of friends
or some group that you're aware of and they would
like us to highlight them on the Night Side Charity Combine,
all you have to do is send me an email
at Dan Ray at iHeartMedia dot com Danray or at
iHeartMedia dot com or the alternative. You can call our
(02:19):
producer Lady Lightning Maria Marita, and her number is. I
will have that for you in the ten o'clock hour,
because they don't have it in front of me now
as I should have it in front of me, but
that's okay. I will have it in the ten o'clock
hour and you can call Marita and you can say
we'd like to have a representative on. We will highlight
(02:40):
your group, your organization for well three four or so minutes,
give you a chance to tell us what you do,
what help you might need. Maybe you need more volunteers,
maybe you need some a bit of a cash infusion.
We'll see what we can do and try to help
you out. We have a lot of listeners who want
to be generous at this time of year. Now, we
have a lot of listeners who are waiting for our
night side news update, and we're going to start off
(03:02):
with a very familiar face here, a nice and familiar voice,
I should say, Paula Fleming, who's the chief marketing and
sales officer for the Better Business Bureau Boston division, with
some tips for successfully donating on Giving Tuesday and for
that matter throughout this holiday season. Welcome back, Paula. Nice
to know we'll be hearing your voice here in just
(03:24):
a moment. So how are you tonight?
Speaker 3 (03:26):
I'm very well, thank you.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
How are you doing?
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Just great? So look, today is Giving Tuesday and a
lot of our listeners, I'm sure, have decided that they
wanted to contribute to a charity or to some organization
that they feel a kindred spirit with. What do people
have to worry about? Because there's a lot of people
out there who are running scams as we understay what's
going on?
Speaker 3 (03:48):
Yeah, there are, unfortunately, and Giving Tuesday is a great opportunity,
as you mentioned, to support causes that you care about.
Speaker 4 (03:56):
But we're here to.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Encourage donors to give wisely and we want them to
avoid questionable appeal. So watch out number one for name similarities.
And what I mean by that is many charities have
similar names. Double check the exact name to ensure you're
giving to the right organization. So they may actually just
flip a word and that can trick you into thinking
(04:18):
you're giving to the organization you did last year, which
was reliable. So take the time, do your research before donating,
verify the charities legitimacy and impact, and you can do
so by visiting for free give dot org to access
reports on thousands of charities.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
So how do they get your name? In other words,
is this just that they're sending blind emails or their
auto dialing phone numbers and somehow, some way they know
that you, at some point in the past were charitable.
Is that the way it works or is it more sophisticated.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
There are a number of ways in which they can see.
You know, many of us share sometimes overshare on social media,
and they can use that as an avenue to gather
your information. You know, many people are giving during this
time of year and it's fabulous of their time or
if they have the funds to do so. But these
(05:13):
scare artists are aware that it's that time and they
target via social media platforms, text messaging, emails, and phone calls.
We're hearing of people actually being shamed into not giving
via the phone, and those are scammers. Because a legitimate
charity will take your money now today or they will
(05:34):
take it in a month. They are not going to
get angry and they are not going to swear and
curse at you that you're not providing funds. And that's
what we've unfortunately heard over the years that happened.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Someone's calling up supposedly you on the phone and they're
representing a charity whatever they come up with, and you
hesitate or you say, well, Jake, could you send me
some materials in the mail, which is a very reasonable
request or whatever, very and then no, no, no, you're
going to give today because it's giving to exactly, we're
(06:09):
tripling the match. And then they'll get to the point
where they'll be trying to swear at you. I mean,
give me a break.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
It seems that it's totally irrational, but it is unfortunate.
It is unfortunate, but it does happen. So we want
people to take their time to make informed decisions and
resist the pressure to give on the spot. And this
again can be from someone on the phone or even
a knock on the door. Still people are still doing that.
(06:37):
And if you're seeing very you know, aesthetically pleasing advertisements
asking for funds to be donated, just don't fall for
that again. Take it off the social media platform and
do a little bit of research. Also, focus on impact.
Don't be swayed solely by emotional appeals, ask specific questions
(06:59):
about how the charity is using the donations to achieve
its mission, and look at the charity's website. So look
at the mission, the program's financial information, and again give
dot org is a great resource free for your listeners
to utilize.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
There's also a great resource I think called Charity Navigator,
which absolutely a rundown. But more importantly, if they are
for example, I don't know, let's say that they're Let's
everybody think of a charity that they that everyone knows of.
I don't want to mention it, but if they could
just put the word the in front of it. So
(07:35):
let's say that there's a lot of charities that are
known simply by their proper name, and someone could call
them say, well, I represent the filling the proper name. Uh,
that should be a tip off maybe that that's not
the right right group. One of the questions I always
(07:55):
ask people who I get blind calls from charities and
you get a lot of this from the local You're
like you to support your local police department, and I'll
say wow, yeah, And so my question is, can you
tell me what are the administrative costs of your charity?
And if you ask that question. That is a magical
question because they'll say, well, we we all really don't
(08:18):
keep those figures, or they'll say, well, you have to
look them up. Because a legitimate charity, a legitimate charity,
whether it's a big charity or a small charity, doesn't
have administrative costs that go over eight or ten percent.
That's a healthy In other words, for every dollar that
you give to the charity, if they spend anythn a
(08:40):
dime on running that charity, then it's a scam in
my opinion, because would you agree.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
Yeah, I would concur it's definitely a red flag of
a charity can't or won't answer questions about their administrative costs.
For sure, I think transparency. Legitimate charities are transparent about
how they use their donations. And as you mentioned, administrative costs,
which includes salaries, expenses, fundraising, are necessary part of running
a charity, So donors do deserve to know what percentage
(09:10):
of their money is going to go towards that.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
A lot of times exactly we're calling from the National
Police Federation and I'll say, well, let me ask you.
I'm about I want to send you one hundred dollars. Well,
that's great. But why shouldn't I just bring it down
to my local police department and give them the check
for one hundred dollars. Well, exactly with the National Federation,
they'll give you some you know, just be swat. That's all.
(09:32):
Be swat and you won't get scammed. It's as simple
as that. Through and there are a lot of great
charities out there to support. Don't hesitate.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
There are, yeah, and if you cannot financially support they,
you know, oftentimes, if you want to make a difference
during the holiday season, if you just call a local
charity ask what they need. Sometimes it's just a helping hand.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Sure. Absolutely, as always, Paul, great directed to the point.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
Thanks so much, Thank you, Happy holidays.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Merry Christmas. I celebrate Christmas, so if you wish me
a married okay, well I wish you were Merry Christmas,
so I'd always like to hear Merry Christmas. Thanks very much, thank.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
You, Merry Christmas to you, Bye bye.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Thank you very much. When we get back, we're going
to talk about a method, a proven method to single
handedly transform your relationship and create harmony in your home.
This ought to be interesting. We'll be back right after
this on night Side.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Now back to Dan Ray live from the Window World
night Side Studios on WBZ News Radio.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Well, now we're welcoming a guest who I've not spoken
with before, Paul Martino. He's the founder of Relationship development
dot org, author of The Missing Piece, The Missing Piece
of proven method to single hndenly transform your relationship and
create harmony in your home. This sounds like a big
mountain to climb here, Paul, how are you tonight?
Speaker 4 (10:52):
Good Dan, and thank you for having me as your
guest tonight.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
You have you have set the bar pretty high, so
pretty high. So tell us about it. And obviously you're
not gonna be able to tell us everything about it
in the you know, six or seven minutes that we have,
But tell us about it, and then how can people
get a copy of information? So let's talk about what
can be done when there's some disharmony in people's home.
Speaker 4 (11:15):
Absolutely. Well, the first thing we have to look at
is the paradigm shift that this book is basically delivering on,
which is, you know, we've all been brought up to
believe that to be successful in relationship, especially long term relationships,
that we either had to pick the right person, or
that we had to be very comparable in how we
see things. A lot of these false beliefs that have
kind of held us stuck where these old paradigms, these
(11:37):
old patterns play out because we were expecting things to
be a certain way. And after fourteen years of doing
this with thousands of people, now what we've learned is
that the real truth about successful relationships wasn't about personalities.
It wasn't about how different we are from each other.
It's not even about what we brought into this as
a belief of having picked the right person or as
a person in general. It's about our skill sets or
(11:59):
our lack of skill sets. That's what determines the difference
between successful long term relationships or not. And no matter
where we bring ourselves, whether it's the holidays or whether
a spouse in private, it doesn't matter. It's about the
skill sets that we're bringing to that situation or that circumstance.
And unfortunately, because we have a lot of false beliefs
that have been with us for all of our upbringing,
(12:21):
we all tend to see things the same way. And
many people say things like, oh, in long term relationships,
relationships just say that's the way it is. And unfortunately
that's your trajectory that most of us can witness, at
least around us. But in reality it didn't have to
be that way. With about skill set, you.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Use the phrase skill sets. Okay, Now, I'm not a
psychologist or a psychiatrist, nor will I play one on
the radio. Yeah, but it sounds to me like in
a relationship, both parties have to be willing to listen
to the other person, and relationships ideally need to be
fifty to fifty if they're ninety ten where one person
(13:01):
always calls the shots. I don't think those relationships work.
Am I way off base when I say something like that?
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Now?
Speaker 4 (13:09):
And Dan, and I think most people would agree with you.
And that's again part of sort of the perspective that
we all share that we bring to these relationships. And unfortunately,
from our perspective and most of what you'll find that
we bring is very contrarian, but with good reason because
right now, the first marriage divorce rates around fifty percent,
second and third divorce rates or even higher. So what
we currently believe isn't really working all that well. So
(13:33):
what I would say is excellent relationships actually come from
a relationship that is one hundred percent one hundred percent.
It's not about fifty to fifty because fifty to fifty
creates like compromise, it creates neutralness, It creates sort of
a trading of this time you win and I'll lose.
Next time we'll flip it. We're looking for fairness. You know,
(13:54):
these things are not bad, but they're not exactly going
to create magic or get you through the tough times
long term relationship that's wants.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
To explain to me just a little bit. And I
realize you cont in six or seven minutes explain everything,
But what is the skill set? I mean? I think
that listening is an important skill set because I think
that if you don't listen, you can't understand what it's
like a negotiation between you know, on a contract or
(14:22):
anything like that. You have to kind of put yourself
in the other person shoes.
Speaker 4 (14:27):
Right, Well, you're absolutely right there, there's no question about that.
That's the key part of all of it, because if
we're just speaking from our perspective, we're not going to
get very far. We have to really listen to what
it is that they need. Understand that person, and I
will just say it doesn't require psychologists. It really just requires,
like you're saying, good listening skills and really understanding people.
So it's in effect it's still a skill set. But
(14:48):
what I would say is listening is good. But we
have a little snag. There's a little flaw on the
plan for most of us, which is we bring our
own perspective. So when we listen to someone, we're only
hearing it through the filter with which we see the world.
And one of the skill sets we have to learn
is to rise above that and to listen from a
perspective of what is it that they really need? How
(15:09):
do they see it from behind their eyeballs? So like
there's a there's an elevation more or less to the
skill set that you're well, you're correct, we kind of
have to take it up another notch if we want
to be successful in a long term relationship.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
How long you been doing this? How many years?
Speaker 4 (15:24):
Fourteen years? Now?
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Well how did you start?
Speaker 4 (15:27):
If I could ask, will you sure? So you know,
the funny thing is we're not psychiatrists. We're not psychologists.
We didn't even begin this as an intention. What happened
was twenty years ago, Stacy single handedly saved our relationship,
honestly by accident, and then over a journey that they
can learn about in the book at the Missing Piece
dot Com. What they'll find out is that from what
(15:49):
she discovered, we've developed a proven method that changes these perspectives.
It basically she uncovered a new paradigm for a relationship
that is un like anything that we've realized before. But
once you can start seeing how these pieces fit together
and the skill sets and how they apply, now it
starts to all make sense and it's no longer contrarian
(16:10):
that one person can change the relationship. It becomes more
common sensical.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
So you're talking about relationships, it sounds to me like
between couples. But does this also extent to relationships let
us say between siblings who might live outside in different
homes and they have estranged relationships, or between parents and
a child that is estranged. Is it primarily couples or
(16:36):
does it apply to all sorts of familiar relationships?
Speaker 4 (16:41):
Oh, excellent question, Dan, And yeah, it applies to all
relationships because at the end of the day, your relationship
is about you and how you relate, and it's between
two people. So it's between you and a friend, you
and a coworker, you and your parents, you and your boss,
you and your children. It's really about human relationship dynamics
and the skill sets to navigate those, especially when we
have very different perspectives that we're bringing to the same circumstance.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Okay, last question, and that is, in your opinion, do
both people Let's assume there's a listener out there who
wants to improve their relationship with someone within their family,
whomever that is, whether it's a spouse, whether it's a child,
a parent, or whatever. Do both people who have allowed
their relationship to go on the rocks. Do both people
(17:25):
have to commit to reading this book or does the
knowledge implanted in the mind of one person can that
save a relationship?
Speaker 4 (17:35):
Absolutely so. Everything about what we do is a one
person method, and in long term relationships, untrained, we keep
playing out their same old patterns. So it seems like
one person can't make a difference, but it's definitely one
person who participates, and we don't do any couple's work ever.
Our entire methodology is about empowering one person with the
skills and training so that they know how to make
(17:56):
the transformation. And that's the story of my life because
when Stacy saved our relationship, I was not interested in
doing anything. And yet even I transformed after about a
year and I didn't even know what she was doing.
So there's there's a cause and effect relationship, and this
is how that cycle works, all right.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Paul Again, what's the book? Is the missing Piece dot
and they can find it at the missingpiece dot com.
Speaker 4 (18:18):
Is that it exactly, thank you, Dan. And yet that'll
provide more information. They can go pre order the book.
It'll give them helpful links to good Amazon or Barnes
and Noble, whatever their favorite bookstore is, and they can
just go there and find out more information.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
Okay, and the missing piece is spelled p I e ce.
We're not talking about peace and harmony. We're talking about
the missing element missingpiece dot com.
Speaker 4 (18:40):
That is correct.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Appreciate you, Paul very much, and we'll talk about this
again at some point. Okay, maybe we'll have you on
for a longer conversation and take some phone calls.
Speaker 4 (18:51):
That would be great. And I appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Interesting because I asked some questions. But there's a lot
of my listeners out there I know who are sitting
there saying I wish this was a phone call interview.
We'll do it. We'll do it for an hour later
in the program.
Speaker 4 (19:03):
Okay, that sounds fantastic, and thank you for having me.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
Dan, You're welcome, Paul, Thanks very much. We come back
on to talk about Christmas movies. Why do some people
love Christmas movies and others hate Christmas movies? Hey? For me,
it's Bad Santa. Gotta watch Bad Santa every year. We're
gonna be talking with Dr Matthew Chalmers about this intriguing question.
Five reasons why Christmas movies make us feel good according
(19:28):
to science. We'll talk about that as well. We got
lots to deal with and then later on we're going
to talk about the Physician Pathway Act. We got a
great show coming up tonight. Stay with us. My name's
Dan Ray. This is the Nightside on WBZ, Boston's news
radio ten thirty on your AM dial. It is Christmas time.
Today's the third, so it's twenty two days till Christmas
and all of us will watch some Christmas movies. I
(19:51):
assume between now and the big day, the twenty fifth
of December with us is doctor matt Chalmers. Mad You're
gonna tell us why do some people love Christmas movies
and other people hate Christmas movies. You're not a psychologist.
You're a healthy living expert and a chiropractor. So I'm
(20:13):
very interested as to how you developed this this perspective
or this knowledge. How are you tonight?
Speaker 5 (20:19):
I'm doing very well. It's it's lots and lots of
years of study.
Speaker 4 (20:23):
Okay, so.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Yes, go ahead, No, no, I'm I sort of leave
it as an open ended question. There, my friend to
love to know it would start off with the big question,
why do some people love them and other people hate them?
I happen to have a favorite Christmas movie. I'm kind
of a sentimental sort of guy, but I love Bad Santa.
Speaker 5 (20:46):
Bad Things is a fantastic movie. He gives a great
little twist on it. And you gotta love Billy Bob.
He's fantastic.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Well, I just don't know why he didn't win the
Oscar that year, which which baffles me, to be honest
with you.
Speaker 4 (21:00):
You yeah, you.
Speaker 5 (21:02):
Know, it's one of those things where it's sometimes it's
not artsy enough and it's not irritating enough to win Oscars.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
So I thought I thought it was a tour de
force in all honesty, and I'm not a movie expert.
One of my predecessors was a absolute movie expert. But anyway,
so let I want to learn from you. I was
half joking with you, but bad sense. It is a funny,
funny flick, go right ahead. I'm sorry.
Speaker 5 (21:31):
Well, so, typically what we're saying is that it depends
on how how into the festival of Christmas you are.
You can be really religious, you can be you know,
really love the presence, but it's how how much into
the festivities and the festival of Christmas are you. Because
if you're really into the decorations and the trees, you're
also going to be into the movies because that's part
of the culture of Christmas. And so that's really really
(21:52):
where the love of the christmasity comes from.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
So give us the movie that, in your opinion, are
some must be universally loved. It's a Wonderful Life? Is
that a universe? I think of that as a Christmas movie?
Speaker 5 (22:07):
Oh yeah, a Wonderful Life, a Christmas Carol. Those are
univers that love. The newer ones that everybody loves is elf.
Elf is one of the easier new classics that everybody loves.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
Yeah, absolutely, Wolf Ferrell is in is the Elf. If
I recall correctly, again, I'm not a movie of ficient
out of I know, I know enough about this stuff
just to be dangerous. Why do people dislike I mean,
how can you dislike a Christmas movie that's I don't
understand that?
Speaker 5 (22:38):
Well, there's there's lots of little reasons, you know, like obviously,
if it was something you watch your parents, your parents
are gone, you know, you have a little bit of
you know that's really emotional for you, so you don't
want to be in that area, you know. And then
you know, if you're if you realize that the you know,
movies are making everything more materialistic and see you have
an issue with that, that's also going to be part
of it. But if you're not really into the festivities
(22:59):
of it, some of those movies aren't great, which is
kind of why if you look at any holiday movie trend,
die Hard is always in the top three movies, because
there's a lot of people who are like, look, I
want to be this is my piece offering to agreeableness.
I would like to watch a movie with you. I'd
like to be festive, But most of them are not
very good movies. If you'll count Die Hard as a
(23:21):
Christmas movie? I will watch that with you.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
Can you count No Country for Old Men?
Speaker 5 (23:30):
I don't know if that's ever ever on the list,
but you know, if you are those things where you know,
if it counts for the festivities, then you.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
Know great, I guess you know. I to be honest
with that, I think that some of the old movies
are really great. I also enjoyed the Home Alone movie
McAuley culkin. My kids were kind of that age when
the movies came out, and I could see losing them
on an airplane or at an airport. I mean, I
(23:59):
guess this thing did you connect to as well? Correct? Correct?
Speaker 5 (24:03):
Absolutely?
Speaker 4 (24:03):
So.
Speaker 5 (24:04):
A lot of a lot of the themes of the
Christmas movies are reuniting of the family. So you know,
in Home Alone's case, it was the family was fractionated,
and you know, the little boy felt like he didn't
he didn't fit in, and then afterwards like they became
a tighter knit family and they showed the love. And
that's really what everybody was looking for in that movie,
was the was the family coming back together for the
(24:25):
Christmas present?
Speaker 2 (24:26):
Okay, so there's there's also a sub question here, and
I don't know if if you sent this to us,
the five reasons why Christmas movies make us feel good
according to science. Are you familiar that did you send
us that piece?
Speaker 5 (24:39):
It's I didn't, but I've seen things similar to it.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
Yeah, So so give us I mean, obviously, Christmas is
a wonderful time for most people.
Speaker 4 (24:49):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (24:49):
You know if if your family is together, I mean,
you know that no one's off, you know, fighting in
a war halfway around the world. U. You know, no
one's is strange. It's it's a good family feeling. It's
one time of year when we sort of like all
kind of get off the treadmill of life, as I
call it. So that's one of the reasons. Give me
(25:11):
a couple of the other reasons why uh, in your
opinion and probably others why they make why Christmas movies
make us feel good? Above and apart from the wonderful
season that Christmas is and what it represents, well, I.
Speaker 5 (25:27):
Think that's kind of the whole the whole nut of
it is is the is the regeneration of closeness. So
like in the Christmas Carol you had the Great Hero's
journey of you know, the character who was you know,
very antisocial and didn't really like people, and then through
his his journey, he starts to figure out that, you know,
maybe he does need to be more conscientious and more
(25:49):
kind to people around him, and so he becomes a
whole new person. And the same type of thing I
guess with the Family Unit, where a lot of Christmas
movies are you know, a strange you know and why
is a strange family family that's not really close, and
then through the ordeals they go through through the movie,
they end up becoming closer as a family unit. And
(26:09):
people really want that connection, that closeness, that community feeling,
and so bringing that the ability for that to happen
back to people in a fantasy realm is really appealing
to a lot of people.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
What I really like about Christmas, you know, besides the
familial relationships and all of that, but I really enjoy
the idea of just the peace and quiet of the
twenty fifth of December, whether you're just taking a walk
in the woods or you're going to church to you know,
to celebrate religiously, it just seems to be peaceful. And
(26:48):
there's so many days during the year where we don't
have peace Is that a factor that you've seen or
am I imagining something?
Speaker 5 (26:56):
No, You're exactly right, Like there's a big part of that.
Our world is so fast and so crazy and so
stressful right now, the idea that, like you said, we're
just gonna take a step off the treadmill of life
and just kind of take a breath and be with
people who we care about, whether their friends or family,
or even if it's just your dog, like be able
to just take a step back and just kind of relax.
It's really important, and we all know we need to
(27:18):
do it, and so we just that's the day we
remind ourselves to do it, you know, in my in.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
My case, especially the dog, because the dog's the one
member of the family that never argues with you. All
he wants to do is kind of hang around and
maybe take a walk and get fed. You know, I
probably never didn't coin the phrase, but I like the
phrase the treadmill of life because life and I don't
want to be a downer, but life can be such
(27:42):
a treadmill, even when you're doing something that you enjoy,
which I like doing what I enjoy, and I remember
the morning that I put my son on the bus
the first day to kindergarten. As he sort of, you know,
pulled himself up onto the bus, I said, very quietly,
and my breath, but so he could kind of hear me,
I said, welcome to the treadmill of life, because once
(28:06):
you start kindergarten, man, it doesn't stop and for a
long long time, except for those Christmas days. So, Mark,
is there a way people can get in touch with you?
Are you doing this out of the goodness of your
heart or is there a website? Look, most folks who
come on the show have a website or a book
that they like to plug and I like to give
(28:27):
even someone like yourself. I don't see anything here in
my notes that says Mark has written this book about
Christmas movies. Tell us if there's anything that we can
help you out with, because you've been a really fun guest.
Speaker 5 (28:40):
Well, one of the things I really work on a
lot is stress. And so one of the things we're
doing to help everybody is on X and Facebook and Instagram,
I'm doing a how to choose your healthcare providers, dentists, doctors,
you know, therapist, that type of thing on Doctor Chalmers one.
So just the social media doctor Chalmers the number one.
We're doing a whole sentation on how to find those
(29:01):
whole in your area. The idea of just getting out
and getting you know, physiological information helping people get better
is really kind of where it is for me. So
you know, that's kind of my thing.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
So doctor Chalmers, and it's it's all. There's no it's
D R C H A, L M, E R S
and the numeral one.
Speaker 5 (29:20):
Yes, sir, that's great.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
You know, I'll tell you just finding a doctor these days.
You know, here in Massachusetts we like to think of
ourselves as sort of the medical capital of the world.
We have you know, Leahy Clinic, mass General Hospital, bring
them in Women's Hospital, great hospitals here, you know, Baptist,
uh and just we have great hospitals. But try to
find a doctor, just a PCP of and not I
(29:46):
don't want to say just but simple doctor, you know
who you can go to your primary care physician. It's
impossible now, Mark, and we uh, we're going to talk
about that in the next in the next SEGM. And
because there's a Massachusetts just past the Physician Pathway Act,
so maybe we should have you back and talk about
(30:07):
what you do and how difficult it is to find
that healthcare provider close to where you live, so you're
not driving three hundred miles to go to an annual physical.
Speaker 5 (30:17):
Absolutely know it's especially what you're trying to find somebody
who works on a physiological base, Yeah, like Gary Breca's
stuff and figuring out the DNA and figuring out the
actual route problems and fixing them that way. It's it's very,
very difficult to find that level of functional medicine type
of doctors.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
Well, hopefully some of my listeners have have written it down.
Dr Traumas D R C H A, L M E
R S. The numeral one appreciated very very much, Matthew
DTR Traumas, It's been a pleasure to talk to you.
When I watched Bat Santa this year, I'll think about it.
Speaker 5 (30:52):
Okay, fabulous you sir, good talking to you.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
Have a great night. We do come back. We're going
to be talking with doctor Deeve Salem, Senior Vice President
for Academic Integration and Tufts Medicine, former cardiologists, chair of
the Department of Medicine and Tufts Medical Center, and he
had worked along with the Massachusetts Medical Society to bring
the problem to the attention of then Governor Charlie Baker.
Let's we'll find out Massachusetts needs doctors, trust me uh
(31:17):
and there are foreign trained ones who want to work.
New law looks to address both those problems. Coming up
on the next segment of Nightside News Updates. Stay with us.
Speaker 1 (31:29):
Now back to Dan Ray live from the Window World
Nightside Studios i' WBZ News Radio.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
Troning us as doctor Deed Salem. He's senior vice president
of Academic Integration and Toughts Medicine. He's former cardiologists chair
of the Department of Medicine at Toft's Medical Center, and
he he's very much concerned about the Physician Pathway Act,
which apparently has is law in Massachusetts. What does the
Physician Pathway Act hope to accomplish, doctor Salem.
Speaker 4 (31:58):
Well, it helps to accomplish something two things at one time.
One is that there is a shortage of primary care
doctors in Massachusetts, which will only get worse. And second,
there are physicians that have come to the United States
(32:19):
for political reasons or other reasons that can't pain a
license in Massachusetts to practice medicine. So that's where doctor
we turned around the Governor Baker asked us two years
(32:39):
ago to look into this and see if we could
come up with something that could affect both of these issues.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
So what is the status of this legislation? Has it
passed or is it pending?
Speaker 4 (32:53):
It just passed, thank you, passed?
Speaker 2 (32:56):
Okay. As a consequence of the passing, how soon when
we start to see an influx of more doctors? Because
I can tell you that I know from my own experience,
trying to find a private you know, a personal care
physician a PCP is almost impossible in Massachusetts. And we
used to think about states like Mississippi backwater, you know
(33:18):
as a backwater state, or Montana where there was one
doctor every five hundred miles. This is Massachusetts, This is
not this is crazy. How soon will we see this
turn around a little bit?
Speaker 4 (33:30):
Oh? Okay, of course, that's a great question. Let me
just add it is so crazy that I have physicians
calling me telling me they cans find the primary care doctor.
So and that tells you a lot. It's not going
to happen automatically. It needs now to be put together operationally.
(33:55):
And you know, I don't know what my guess is.
And this is just a guess it may take it
here to get this put together.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
I have a theory, doctor Salem, which is one that
I developed myself, and that is that. And you do
not have to endorse my theory. You can tell me
I'm dead wrong if you want. I have a theory
that there are forces, including the American Medical Association, which
has tamped down the number of legitimate medical universities medical
(34:26):
schools in this country. There are a lot of really
talented American kids from great colleges who are going offshore
to learn how to practice medicine. There should be many more.
We have more law schools than we need, and we
have fewer medical schools than we must have. Am I
right or wrong?
Speaker 4 (34:47):
I believe you're wrong. The reason is medical schools want
to grow. They want to teach more because that for
most medical schools, that how they get their income. There's
some schools that are state schools, et cetera. They want
to grow. The rate limiting factor is not that the
(35:11):
schools don't want to teach more people. The rate limiting
factor there's only a certain amount of hospitals that can
teach the third and fourth year of medical school where
they where they learn you know, you have the first
two years where you're doing a lot of bookwork and
that is now you can do this online, but you
(35:36):
need to have places like you know, I'm a tough
medical center. We can't we have a certain amount of
students that we can teach. After that we can't do
a good job doing it. So the rate limiting step
has been for years the fact that we don't have
(35:58):
enough teaching hospital and to be you know, to be
there are a lot of good community hospitals that they're
not appropriate often to teach medical students, or they may
not want to teach medical students. That to me is
the right limiting step that I don't know how to
fix that.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
UH.
Speaker 4 (36:18):
In our own institution, we have two community hospitals, Lowell
General being one of them. For example. We're trying to
take that hospital and turn it into UH give me
the ability to teach students, and that could help the
(36:39):
medical school increase its class size.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
So at a list, doctor, the last thing, you know
your business much better than I. But I'm looking at
a list of offshore medical schools just in the Caribbean,
many of whom the only one ones are that are
not including that are not enrolling American students are the
(37:04):
ones in Cuba. But I look at St. George's University
School of Medicine in Grenada and as an example, those
students are coming back here and practicing medicine. I don't
see why we can't train them here in Massachusetts because
if they're coming back to practice medicine from places like Grenada,
it's American kids going off shore.
Speaker 4 (37:24):
So I can only speak about Massachusetts. If they do
go offshore. Yeah, they can come back here only at
least from Massachusetts, only if they do their residency training
in an American school, in an American hospital. So you're
(37:45):
half right, So we get listen. When I was chairman
of the Department of Medicine, we got a number of
a number each year of amazingly good medical students that
had graduated from hospitals outside the United States, and we
(38:08):
gave them they went into when we did our matches,
we'd almost get a number of them, some of them
at md thhds that seted up very very well trained
that they could not get a license unless their internship
and residency.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
All right, well, all right, look, I appreciate your expertise.
I love to talk to you about it more, but
it seems to me it's all red tape in my opinion,
and we have to well, there are just too many
kids who I think could be trained if we could
open up some more medical schools. And it's also, by
the way tougher. There are a few veterinary schools in
this country. Then then there are medical schools, which is
(38:47):
also crazy. Doctor. Thank you so much for your time tonight.
Love to have you on and talk about this at
greater depth. I may have my producer get back to
you folks, if that's okay.
Speaker 4 (38:57):
I would be pleased to do it. I've spent a
huge amount of my career worrying about the things you're
talking about.
Speaker 2 (39:04):
Thanks so much, Doctor Deep Salem, my guest here tonight
on Nightside. Thank you, doctor Salem. When we get back,
we're going to talk about a very interesting piece written
by Joe Vanaki in Today's Boston Globe. We will be
back on Nightside right after this
It's night Side with Dan Ray on WBZ, Boston's news
radio home.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Thank you very much to call as we start a
very cold Tuesday night. I hope none of you are
out sitting on the beach tonight listening on your ten
transistor radio. No, no, no, no, no, stay inside. It's
chilly out there, that's for sure. If you have to
be outside, hopefully you're all buttoned up. My name's Dan Ray,
as the goal indicated, the host of Nightside. We are
(00:27):
in our eighteenth year here on Nightside on WBZ, and
we've got another great show for you tonight. Before we
get to our guests in this first hour, let me
just mention a couple of things, little bookkeeping. First of all,
always want to thank Rob Brooks, who's back in the
control room and Broadcast Central. Wanted to mention there's a
couple of programs upcoming. Every program on Nightside is great.
(00:49):
But on Monday night we will do our eighteenth annual
college admissions panel with the Deans of Admission from Harvard
and Boston College, Bill Fitzsimmons from Harvard and Grant Gostlin
from Boston College. So, if you have a child, a grandchild,
someone in high school, eighth grade, ninth grade, tenth grade,
(01:13):
eleventh grade. They're just getting into this college application business
that you want them to listen and you may want
to listen to on Monday night beginning at eight o'clock
with Bill Fitzsimmons and grand Gostlin. They will take phone calls,
answer questions and we will try to bring everyone up
to date, particularly people who are going through the college
application process for the first time. Busy time of year
(01:35):
for any admissions director, and both Bill Fitzsimmons and Grant
Gostlin are very generous in their time. I will also
tell you that we are trying to pull together the
twelfth annual Night Side Charity Combine. We do that my
last couple of hours of the broadcast year, which this
year will be on Friday December twenty twenty, which is
a Friday of twenty twenty four. We do it all remotely,
(01:58):
So if you have some in your circle of friends
or some group that you're aware of and they would
like us to highlight them on the Night Side Charity Combine,
all you have to do is send me an email
at Dan Ray at iHeartMedia dot com Danray or at
iHeartMedia dot com or the alternative. You can call our
(02:19):
producer Lady Lightning Maria Marita, and her number is. I
will have that for you in the ten o'clock hour,
because they don't have it in front of me now
as I should have it in front of me, but
that's okay. I will have it in the ten o'clock
hour and you can call Marita and you can say
we'd like to have a representative on. We will highlight
(02:40):
your group, your organization for well three four or so minutes,
give you a chance to tell us what you do,
what help you might need. Maybe you need more volunteers,
maybe you need some a bit of a cash infusion.
We'll see what we can do and try to help
you out. We have a lot of listeners who want
to be generous at this time of year. Now, we
have a lot of listeners who are waiting for our
night side news update, and we're going to start off
(03:02):
with a very familiar face here, a nice and familiar voice,
I should say, Paula Fleming, who's the chief marketing and
sales officer for the Better Business Bureau Boston division, with
some tips for successfully donating on Giving Tuesday and for
that matter throughout this holiday season. Welcome back, Paula. Nice
to know we'll be hearing your voice here in just
(03:24):
a moment. So how are you tonight?
Speaker 3 (03:26):
I'm very well, thank you.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
How are you doing?
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Just great? So look, today is Giving Tuesday and a
lot of our listeners, I'm sure, have decided that they
wanted to contribute to a charity or to some organization
that they feel a kindred spirit with. What do people
have to worry about? Because there's a lot of people
out there who are running scams as we understay what's
going on?
Speaker 3 (03:48):
Yeah, there are, unfortunately, and Giving Tuesday is a great opportunity,
as you mentioned, to support causes that you care about.
Speaker 4 (03:56):
But we're here to.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Encourage donors to give wisely and we want them to
avoid questionable appeal. So watch out number one for name similarities.
And what I mean by that is many charities have
similar names. Double check the exact name to ensure you're
giving to the right organization. So they may actually just
flip a word and that can trick you into thinking
(04:18):
you're giving to the organization you did last year, which
was reliable. So take the time, do your research before donating,
verify the charities legitimacy and impact, and you can do
so by visiting for free give dot org to access
reports on thousands of charities.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
So how do they get your name? In other words,
is this just that they're sending blind emails or their
auto dialing phone numbers and somehow, some way they know
that you, at some point in the past were charitable.
Is that the way it works or is it more sophisticated.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
There are a number of ways in which they can see.
You know, many of us share sometimes overshare on social media,
and they can use that as an avenue to gather
your information. You know, many people are giving during this
time of year and it's fabulous of their time or
if they have the funds to do so. But these
(05:13):
scare artists are aware that it's that time and they
target via social media platforms, text messaging, emails, and phone calls.
We're hearing of people actually being shamed into not giving
via the phone, and those are scammers. Because a legitimate
charity will take your money now today or they will
(05:34):
take it in a month. They are not going to
get angry and they are not going to swear and
curse at you that you're not providing funds. And that's
what we've unfortunately heard over the years that happened.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Someone's calling up supposedly you on the phone and they're
representing a charity whatever they come up with, and you
hesitate or you say, well, Jake, could you send me
some materials in the mail, which is a very reasonable
request or whatever, very and then no, no, no, you're
going to give today because it's giving to exactly, we're
(06:09):
tripling the match. And then they'll get to the point
where they'll be trying to swear at you. I mean,
give me a break.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
It seems that it's totally irrational, but it is unfortunate.
It is unfortunate, but it does happen. So we want
people to take their time to make informed decisions and
resist the pressure to give on the spot. And this
again can be from someone on the phone or even
a knock on the door. Still people are still doing that.
(06:37):
And if you're seeing very you know, aesthetically pleasing advertisements
asking for funds to be donated, just don't fall for
that again. Take it off the social media platform and
do a little bit of research. Also, focus on impact.
Don't be swayed solely by emotional appeals, ask specific questions
(06:59):
about how the charity is using the donations to achieve
its mission, and look at the charity's website. So look
at the mission, the program's financial information, and again give
dot org is a great resource free for your listeners
to utilize.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
There's also a great resource I think called Charity Navigator,
which absolutely a rundown. But more importantly, if they are
for example, I don't know, let's say that they're Let's
everybody think of a charity that they that everyone knows of.
I don't want to mention it, but if they could
just put the word the in front of it. So
(07:35):
let's say that there's a lot of charities that are
known simply by their proper name, and someone could call
them say, well, I represent the filling the proper name. Uh,
that should be a tip off maybe that that's not
the right right group. One of the questions I always
(07:55):
ask people who I get blind calls from charities and
you get a lot of this from the local You're
like you to support your local police department, and I'll
say wow, yeah, And so my question is, can you
tell me what are the administrative costs of your charity?
And if you ask that question. That is a magical
question because they'll say, well, we we all really don't
(08:18):
keep those figures, or they'll say, well, you have to
look them up. Because a legitimate charity, a legitimate charity,
whether it's a big charity or a small charity, doesn't
have administrative costs that go over eight or ten percent.
That's a healthy In other words, for every dollar that
you give to the charity, if they spend anythn a
(08:40):
dime on running that charity, then it's a scam in
my opinion, because would you agree.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
Yeah, I would concur it's definitely a red flag of
a charity can't or won't answer questions about their administrative costs.
For sure, I think transparency. Legitimate charities are transparent about
how they use their donations. And as you mentioned, administrative costs,
which includes salaries, expenses, fundraising, are necessary part of running
a charity, So donors do deserve to know what percentage
(09:10):
of their money is going to go towards that.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
A lot of times exactly we're calling from the National
Police Federation and I'll say, well, let me ask you.
I'm about I want to send you one hundred dollars. Well,
that's great. But why shouldn't I just bring it down
to my local police department and give them the check
for one hundred dollars. Well, exactly with the National Federation,
they'll give you some you know, just be swat. That's all.
(09:32):
Be swat and you won't get scammed. It's as simple
as that. Through and there are a lot of great
charities out there to support. Don't hesitate.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
There are, yeah, and if you cannot financially support they,
you know, oftentimes, if you want to make a difference
during the holiday season, if you just call a local
charity ask what they need. Sometimes it's just a helping hand.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Sure. Absolutely, as always, Paul, great directed to the point.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
Thanks so much, Thank you, Happy holidays.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Merry Christmas. I celebrate Christmas, so if you wish me
a married okay, well I wish you were Merry Christmas,
so I'd always like to hear Merry Christmas. Thanks very much, thank.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
You, Merry Christmas to you, Bye bye.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Thank you very much. When we get back, we're going
to talk about a method, a proven method to single
handedly transform your relationship and create harmony in your home.
This ought to be interesting. We'll be back right after
this on night Side.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Now back to Dan Ray live from the Window World
night Side Studios on WBZ News Radio.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Well, now we're welcoming a guest who I've not spoken
with before, Paul Martino. He's the founder of Relationship development
dot org, author of The Missing Piece, The Missing Piece
of proven method to single hndenly transform your relationship and
create harmony in your home. This sounds like a big
mountain to climb here, Paul, how are you tonight?
Speaker 4 (10:52):
Good Dan, and thank you for having me as your
guest tonight.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
You have you have set the bar pretty high, so
pretty high. So tell us about it. And obviously you're
not gonna be able to tell us everything about it
in the you know, six or seven minutes that we have,
But tell us about it, and then how can people
get a copy of information? So let's talk about what
can be done when there's some disharmony in people's home.
Speaker 4 (11:15):
Absolutely. Well, the first thing we have to look at
is the paradigm shift that this book is basically delivering on,
which is, you know, we've all been brought up to
believe that to be successful in relationship, especially long term relationships,
that we either had to pick the right person, or
that we had to be very comparable in how we
see things. A lot of these false beliefs that have
kind of held us stuck where these old paradigms, these
(11:37):
old patterns play out because we were expecting things to
be a certain way. And after fourteen years of doing
this with thousands of people, now what we've learned is
that the real truth about successful relationships wasn't about personalities.
It wasn't about how different we are from each other.
It's not even about what we brought into this as
a belief of having picked the right person or as
a person in general. It's about our skill sets or
(11:59):
our lack of skill sets. That's what determines the difference
between successful long term relationships or not. And no matter
where we bring ourselves, whether it's the holidays or whether
a spouse in private, it doesn't matter. It's about the
skill sets that we're bringing to that situation or that circumstance.
And unfortunately, because we have a lot of false beliefs
that have been with us for all of our upbringing,
(12:21):
we all tend to see things the same way. And
many people say things like, oh, in long term relationships,
relationships just say that's the way it is. And unfortunately
that's your trajectory that most of us can witness, at
least around us. But in reality it didn't have to
be that way. With about skill set, you.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Use the phrase skill sets. Okay, Now, I'm not a
psychologist or a psychiatrist, nor will I play one on
the radio. Yeah, but it sounds to me like in
a relationship, both parties have to be willing to listen
to the other person, and relationships ideally need to be
fifty to fifty if they're ninety ten where one person
(13:01):
always calls the shots. I don't think those relationships work.
Am I way off base when I say something like that?
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Now?
Speaker 4 (13:09):
And Dan, and I think most people would agree with you.
And that's again part of sort of the perspective that
we all share that we bring to these relationships. And unfortunately,
from our perspective and most of what you'll find that
we bring is very contrarian, but with good reason because
right now, the first marriage divorce rates around fifty percent,
second and third divorce rates or even higher. So what
we currently believe isn't really working all that well. So
(13:33):
what I would say is excellent relationships actually come from
a relationship that is one hundred percent one hundred percent.
It's not about fifty to fifty because fifty to fifty
creates like compromise, it creates neutralness, It creates sort of
a trading of this time you win and I'll lose.
Next time we'll flip it. We're looking for fairness. You know,
(13:54):
these things are not bad, but they're not exactly going
to create magic or get you through the tough times
long term relationship that's wants.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
To explain to me just a little bit. And I
realize you cont in six or seven minutes explain everything,
But what is the skill set? I mean? I think
that listening is an important skill set because I think
that if you don't listen, you can't understand what it's
like a negotiation between you know, on a contract or
(14:22):
anything like that. You have to kind of put yourself
in the other person shoes.
Speaker 4 (14:27):
Right, Well, you're absolutely right there, there's no question about that.
That's the key part of all of it, because if
we're just speaking from our perspective, we're not going to
get very far. We have to really listen to what
it is that they need. Understand that person, and I
will just say it doesn't require psychologists. It really just requires,
like you're saying, good listening skills and really understanding people.
So it's in effect it's still a skill set. But
(14:48):
what I would say is listening is good. But we
have a little snag. There's a little flaw on the
plan for most of us, which is we bring our
own perspective. So when we listen to someone, we're only
hearing it through the filter with which we see the world.
And one of the skill sets we have to learn
is to rise above that and to listen from a
perspective of what is it that they really need? How
(15:09):
do they see it from behind their eyeballs? So like
there's a there's an elevation more or less to the
skill set that you're well, you're correct, we kind of
have to take it up another notch if we want
to be successful in a long term relationship.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
How long you been doing this? How many years?
Speaker 4 (15:24):
Fourteen years? Now?
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Well how did you start?
Speaker 4 (15:27):
If I could ask, will you sure? So you know,
the funny thing is we're not psychiatrists. We're not psychologists.
We didn't even begin this as an intention. What happened
was twenty years ago, Stacy single handedly saved our relationship,
honestly by accident, and then over a journey that they
can learn about in the book at the Missing Piece
dot Com. What they'll find out is that from what
(15:49):
she discovered, we've developed a proven method that changes these perspectives.
It basically she uncovered a new paradigm for a relationship
that is un like anything that we've realized before. But
once you can start seeing how these pieces fit together
and the skill sets and how they apply, now it
starts to all make sense and it's no longer contrarian
(16:10):
that one person can change the relationship. It becomes more
common sensical.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
So you're talking about relationships, it sounds to me like
between couples. But does this also extent to relationships let
us say between siblings who might live outside in different
homes and they have estranged relationships, or between parents and
a child that is estranged. Is it primarily couples or
(16:36):
does it apply to all sorts of familiar relationships?
Speaker 4 (16:41):
Oh, excellent question, Dan, And yeah, it applies to all
relationships because at the end of the day, your relationship
is about you and how you relate, and it's between
two people. So it's between you and a friend, you
and a coworker, you and your parents, you and your boss,
you and your children. It's really about human relationship dynamics
and the skill sets to navigate those, especially when we
have very different perspectives that we're bringing to the same circumstance.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Okay, last question, and that is, in your opinion, do
both people Let's assume there's a listener out there who
wants to improve their relationship with someone within their family,
whomever that is, whether it's a spouse, whether it's a child,
a parent, or whatever. Do both people who have allowed
their relationship to go on the rocks. Do both people
(17:25):
have to commit to reading this book or does the
knowledge implanted in the mind of one person can that
save a relationship?
Speaker 4 (17:35):
Absolutely so. Everything about what we do is a one
person method, and in long term relationships, untrained, we keep
playing out their same old patterns. So it seems like
one person can't make a difference, but it's definitely one
person who participates, and we don't do any couple's work ever.
Our entire methodology is about empowering one person with the
skills and training so that they know how to make
(17:56):
the transformation. And that's the story of my life because
when Stacy saved our relationship, I was not interested in
doing anything. And yet even I transformed after about a
year and I didn't even know what she was doing.
So there's there's a cause and effect relationship, and this
is how that cycle works, all right.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Paul Again, what's the book? Is the missing Piece dot
and they can find it at the missingpiece dot com.
Speaker 4 (18:18):
Is that it exactly, thank you, Dan. And yet that'll
provide more information. They can go pre order the book.
It'll give them helpful links to good Amazon or Barnes
and Noble, whatever their favorite bookstore is, and they can
just go there and find out more information.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
Okay, and the missing piece is spelled p I e ce.
We're not talking about peace and harmony. We're talking about
the missing element missingpiece dot com.
Speaker 4 (18:40):
That is correct.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Appreciate you, Paul very much, and we'll talk about this
again at some point. Okay, maybe we'll have you on
for a longer conversation and take some phone calls.
Speaker 4 (18:51):
That would be great. And I appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Interesting because I asked some questions. But there's a lot
of my listeners out there I know who are sitting
there saying I wish this was a phone call interview.
We'll do it. We'll do it for an hour later
in the program.
Speaker 4 (19:03):
Okay, that sounds fantastic, and thank you for having me.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
Dan, You're welcome, Paul, Thanks very much. We come back
on to talk about Christmas movies. Why do some people
love Christmas movies and others hate Christmas movies? Hey? For me,
it's Bad Santa. Gotta watch Bad Santa every year. We're
gonna be talking with Dr Matthew Chalmers about this intriguing question.
Five reasons why Christmas movies make us feel good according
(19:28):
to science. We'll talk about that as well. We got
lots to deal with and then later on we're going
to talk about the Physician Pathway Act. We got a
great show coming up tonight. Stay with us. My name's
Dan Ray. This is the Nightside on WBZ, Boston's news
radio ten thirty on your AM dial. It is Christmas time.
Today's the third, so it's twenty two days till Christmas
and all of us will watch some Christmas movies. I
(19:51):
assume between now and the big day, the twenty fifth
of December with us is doctor matt Chalmers. Mad You're
gonna tell us why do some people love Christmas movies
and other people hate Christmas movies. You're not a psychologist.
You're a healthy living expert and a chiropractor. So I'm
(20:13):
very interested as to how you developed this this perspective
or this knowledge. How are you tonight?
Speaker 5 (20:19):
I'm doing very well. It's it's lots and lots of
years of study.
Speaker 4 (20:23):
Okay, so.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Yes, go ahead, No, no, I'm I sort of leave
it as an open ended question. There, my friend to
love to know it would start off with the big question,
why do some people love them and other people hate them?
I happen to have a favorite Christmas movie. I'm kind
of a sentimental sort of guy, but I love Bad Santa.
Speaker 5 (20:46):
Bad Things is a fantastic movie. He gives a great
little twist on it. And you gotta love Billy Bob.
He's fantastic.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Well, I just don't know why he didn't win the
Oscar that year, which which baffles me, to be honest
with you.
Speaker 4 (21:00):
You yeah, you.
Speaker 5 (21:02):
Know, it's one of those things where it's sometimes it's
not artsy enough and it's not irritating enough to win Oscars.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
So I thought I thought it was a tour de
force in all honesty, and I'm not a movie expert.
One of my predecessors was a absolute movie expert. But anyway,
so let I want to learn from you. I was
half joking with you, but bad sense. It is a funny,
funny flick, go right ahead. I'm sorry.
Speaker 5 (21:31):
Well, so, typically what we're saying is that it depends
on how how into the festival of Christmas you are.
You can be really religious, you can be you know,
really love the presence, but it's how how much into
the festivities and the festival of Christmas are you. Because
if you're really into the decorations and the trees, you're
also going to be into the movies because that's part
of the culture of Christmas. And so that's really really
(21:52):
where the love of the christmasity comes from.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
So give us the movie that, in your opinion, are
some must be universally loved. It's a Wonderful Life? Is
that a universe? I think of that as a Christmas movie?
Speaker 5 (22:07):
Oh yeah, a Wonderful Life, a Christmas Carol. Those are
univers that love. The newer ones that everybody loves is elf.
Elf is one of the easier new classics that everybody loves.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
Yeah, absolutely, Wolf Ferrell is in is the Elf. If
I recall correctly, again, I'm not a movie of ficient
out of I know, I know enough about this stuff
just to be dangerous. Why do people dislike I mean,
how can you dislike a Christmas movie that's I don't
understand that?
Speaker 5 (22:38):
Well, there's there's lots of little reasons, you know, like obviously,
if it was something you watch your parents, your parents
are gone, you know, you have a little bit of
you know that's really emotional for you, so you don't
want to be in that area, you know. And then
you know, if you're if you realize that the you know,
movies are making everything more materialistic and see you have
an issue with that, that's also going to be part
of it. But if you're not really into the festivities
(22:59):
of it, some of those movies aren't great, which is
kind of why if you look at any holiday movie trend,
die Hard is always in the top three movies, because
there's a lot of people who are like, look, I
want to be this is my piece offering to agreeableness.
I would like to watch a movie with you. I'd
like to be festive, But most of them are not
very good movies. If you'll count Die Hard as a
(23:21):
Christmas movie? I will watch that with you.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
Can you count No Country for Old Men?
Speaker 5 (23:30):
I don't know if that's ever ever on the list,
but you know, if you are those things where you know,
if it counts for the festivities, then you.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
Know great, I guess you know. I to be honest
with that, I think that some of the old movies
are really great. I also enjoyed the Home Alone movie
McAuley culkin. My kids were kind of that age when
the movies came out, and I could see losing them
on an airplane or at an airport. I mean, I
(23:59):
guess this thing did you connect to as well? Correct? Correct?
Speaker 5 (24:03):
Absolutely?
Speaker 4 (24:03):
So.
Speaker 5 (24:04):
A lot of a lot of the themes of the
Christmas movies are reuniting of the family. So you know,
in Home Alone's case, it was the family was fractionated,
and you know, the little boy felt like he didn't
he didn't fit in, and then afterwards like they became
a tighter knit family and they showed the love. And
that's really what everybody was looking for in that movie,
was the was the family coming back together for the
(24:25):
Christmas present?
Speaker 2 (24:26):
Okay, so there's there's also a sub question here, and
I don't know if if you sent this to us,
the five reasons why Christmas movies make us feel good
according to science. Are you familiar that did you send
us that piece?
Speaker 5 (24:39):
It's I didn't, but I've seen things similar to it.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
Yeah, So so give us I mean, obviously, Christmas is
a wonderful time for most people.
Speaker 4 (24:49):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (24:49):
You know if if your family is together, I mean,
you know that no one's off, you know, fighting in
a war halfway around the world. U. You know, no
one's is strange. It's it's a good family feeling. It's
one time of year when we sort of like all
kind of get off the treadmill of life, as I
call it. So that's one of the reasons. Give me
(25:11):
a couple of the other reasons why uh, in your
opinion and probably others why they make why Christmas movies
make us feel good? Above and apart from the wonderful
season that Christmas is and what it represents, well, I.
Speaker 5 (25:27):
Think that's kind of the whole the whole nut of
it is is the is the regeneration of closeness. So
like in the Christmas Carol you had the Great Hero's
journey of you know, the character who was you know,
very antisocial and didn't really like people, and then through
his his journey, he starts to figure out that, you know,
maybe he does need to be more conscientious and more
(25:49):
kind to people around him, and so he becomes a
whole new person. And the same type of thing I
guess with the Family Unit, where a lot of Christmas
movies are you know, a strange you know and why
is a strange family family that's not really close, and
then through the ordeals they go through through the movie,
they end up becoming closer as a family unit. And
(26:09):
people really want that connection, that closeness, that community feeling,
and so bringing that the ability for that to happen
back to people in a fantasy realm is really appealing
to a lot of people.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
What I really like about Christmas, you know, besides the
familial relationships and all of that, but I really enjoy
the idea of just the peace and quiet of the
twenty fifth of December, whether you're just taking a walk
in the woods or you're going to church to you know,
to celebrate religiously, it just seems to be peaceful. And
(26:48):
there's so many days during the year where we don't
have peace Is that a factor that you've seen or
am I imagining something?
Speaker 5 (26:56):
No, You're exactly right, Like there's a big part of that.
Our world is so fast and so crazy and so
stressful right now, the idea that, like you said, we're
just gonna take a step off the treadmill of life
and just kind of take a breath and be with
people who we care about, whether their friends or family,
or even if it's just your dog, like be able
to just take a step back and just kind of relax.
It's really important, and we all know we need to
(27:18):
do it, and so we just that's the day we
remind ourselves to do it, you know, in my in.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
My case, especially the dog, because the dog's the one
member of the family that never argues with you. All
he wants to do is kind of hang around and
maybe take a walk and get fed. You know, I
probably never didn't coin the phrase, but I like the
phrase the treadmill of life because life and I don't
want to be a downer, but life can be such
(27:42):
a treadmill, even when you're doing something that you enjoy,
which I like doing what I enjoy, and I remember
the morning that I put my son on the bus
the first day to kindergarten. As he sort of, you know,
pulled himself up onto the bus, I said, very quietly,
and my breath, but so he could kind of hear me,
I said, welcome to the treadmill of life, because once
(28:06):
you start kindergarten, man, it doesn't stop and for a
long long time, except for those Christmas days. So, Mark,
is there a way people can get in touch with you?
Are you doing this out of the goodness of your
heart or is there a website? Look, most folks who
come on the show have a website or a book
that they like to plug and I like to give
(28:27):
even someone like yourself. I don't see anything here in
my notes that says Mark has written this book about
Christmas movies. Tell us if there's anything that we can
help you out with, because you've been a really fun guest.
Speaker 5 (28:40):
Well, one of the things I really work on a
lot is stress. And so one of the things we're
doing to help everybody is on X and Facebook and Instagram,
I'm doing a how to choose your healthcare providers, dentists, doctors,
you know, therapist, that type of thing on Doctor Chalmers one.
So just the social media doctor Chalmers the number one.
We're doing a whole sentation on how to find those
(29:01):
whole in your area. The idea of just getting out
and getting you know, physiological information helping people get better
is really kind of where it is for me. So
you know, that's kind of my thing.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
So doctor Chalmers, and it's it's all. There's no it's
D R C H A, L M, E R S
and the numeral one.
Speaker 5 (29:20):
Yes, sir, that's great.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
You know, I'll tell you just finding a doctor these days.
You know, here in Massachusetts we like to think of
ourselves as sort of the medical capital of the world.
We have you know, Leahy Clinic, mass General Hospital, bring
them in Women's Hospital, great hospitals here, you know, Baptist,
uh and just we have great hospitals. But try to
find a doctor, just a PCP of and not I
(29:46):
don't want to say just but simple doctor, you know
who you can go to your primary care physician. It's
impossible now, Mark, and we uh, we're going to talk
about that in the next in the next SEGM. And
because there's a Massachusetts just past the Physician Pathway Act,
so maybe we should have you back and talk about
(30:07):
what you do and how difficult it is to find
that healthcare provider close to where you live, so you're
not driving three hundred miles to go to an annual physical.
Speaker 5 (30:17):
Absolutely know it's especially what you're trying to find somebody
who works on a physiological base, Yeah, like Gary Breca's
stuff and figuring out the DNA and figuring out the
actual route problems and fixing them that way. It's it's very,
very difficult to find that level of functional medicine type
of doctors.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
Well, hopefully some of my listeners have have written it down.
Dr Traumas D R C H A, L M E
R S. The numeral one appreciated very very much, Matthew
DTR Traumas, It's been a pleasure to talk to you.
When I watched Bat Santa this year, I'll think about it.
Speaker 5 (30:52):
Okay, fabulous you sir, good talking to you.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
Have a great night. We do come back. We're going
to be talking with doctor Deeve Salem, Senior Vice President
for Academic Integration and Tufts Medicine, former cardiologists, chair of
the Department of Medicine and Tufts Medical Center, and he
had worked along with the Massachusetts Medical Society to bring
the problem to the attention of then Governor Charlie Baker.
Let's we'll find out Massachusetts needs doctors, trust me uh
(31:17):
and there are foreign trained ones who want to work.
New law looks to address both those problems. Coming up
on the next segment of Nightside News Updates. Stay with us.
Speaker 1 (31:29):
Now back to Dan Ray live from the Window World
Nightside Studios i' WBZ News Radio.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
Troning us as doctor Deed Salem. He's senior vice president
of Academic Integration and Toughts Medicine. He's former cardiologists chair
of the Department of Medicine at Toft's Medical Center, and
he he's very much concerned about the Physician Pathway Act,
which apparently has is law in Massachusetts. What does the
Physician Pathway Act hope to accomplish, doctor Salem.
Speaker 4 (31:58):
Well, it helps to accomplish something two things at one time.
One is that there is a shortage of primary care
doctors in Massachusetts, which will only get worse. And second,
there are physicians that have come to the United States
(32:19):
for political reasons or other reasons that can't pain a
license in Massachusetts to practice medicine. So that's where doctor
we turned around the Governor Baker asked us two years
(32:39):
ago to look into this and see if we could
come up with something that could affect both of these issues.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
So what is the status of this legislation? Has it
passed or is it pending?
Speaker 4 (32:53):
It just passed, thank you, passed?
Speaker 2 (32:56):
Okay. As a consequence of the passing, how soon when
we start to see an influx of more doctors? Because
I can tell you that I know from my own experience,
trying to find a private you know, a personal care
physician a PCP is almost impossible in Massachusetts. And we
used to think about states like Mississippi backwater, you know
(33:18):
as a backwater state, or Montana where there was one
doctor every five hundred miles. This is Massachusetts, This is
not this is crazy. How soon will we see this
turn around a little bit?
Speaker 4 (33:30):
Oh? Okay, of course, that's a great question. Let me
just add it is so crazy that I have physicians
calling me telling me they cans find the primary care doctor.
So and that tells you a lot. It's not going
to happen automatically. It needs now to be put together operationally.
(33:55):
And you know, I don't know what my guess is.
And this is just a guess it may take it
here to get this put together.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
I have a theory, doctor Salem, which is one that
I developed myself, and that is that. And you do
not have to endorse my theory. You can tell me
I'm dead wrong if you want. I have a theory
that there are forces, including the American Medical Association, which
has tamped down the number of legitimate medical universities medical
(34:26):
schools in this country. There are a lot of really
talented American kids from great colleges who are going offshore
to learn how to practice medicine. There should be many more.
We have more law schools than we need, and we
have fewer medical schools than we must have. Am I
right or wrong?
Speaker 4 (34:47):
I believe you're wrong. The reason is medical schools want
to grow. They want to teach more because that for
most medical schools, that how they get their income. There's
some schools that are state schools, et cetera. They want
to grow. The rate limiting factor is not that the
(35:11):
schools don't want to teach more people. The rate limiting
factor there's only a certain amount of hospitals that can
teach the third and fourth year of medical school where
they where they learn you know, you have the first
two years where you're doing a lot of bookwork and
that is now you can do this online, but you
(35:36):
need to have places like you know, I'm a tough
medical center. We can't we have a certain amount of
students that we can teach. After that we can't do
a good job doing it. So the rate limiting step
has been for years the fact that we don't have
(35:58):
enough teaching hospital and to be you know, to be
there are a lot of good community hospitals that they're
not appropriate often to teach medical students, or they may
not want to teach medical students. That to me is
the right limiting step that I don't know how to
fix that.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
UH.
Speaker 4 (36:18):
In our own institution, we have two community hospitals, Lowell
General being one of them. For example. We're trying to
take that hospital and turn it into UH give me
the ability to teach students, and that could help the
(36:39):
medical school increase its class size.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
So at a list, doctor, the last thing, you know
your business much better than I. But I'm looking at
a list of offshore medical schools just in the Caribbean,
many of whom the only one ones are that are
not including that are not enrolling American students are the
(37:04):
ones in Cuba. But I look at St. George's University
School of Medicine in Grenada and as an example, those
students are coming back here and practicing medicine. I don't
see why we can't train them here in Massachusetts because
if they're coming back to practice medicine from places like Grenada,
it's American kids going off shore.
Speaker 4 (37:24):
So I can only speak about Massachusetts. If they do
go offshore. Yeah, they can come back here only at
least from Massachusetts, only if they do their residency training
in an American school, in an American hospital. So you're
(37:45):
half right, So we get listen. When I was chairman
of the Department of Medicine, we got a number of
a number each year of amazingly good medical students that
had graduated from hospitals outside the United States, and we
(38:08):
gave them they went into when we did our matches,
we'd almost get a number of them, some of them
at md thhds that seted up very very well trained
that they could not get a license unless their internship
and residency.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
All right, well, all right, look, I appreciate your expertise.
I love to talk to you about it more, but
it seems to me it's all red tape in my opinion,
and we have to well, there are just too many
kids who I think could be trained if we could
open up some more medical schools. And it's also, by
the way tougher. There are a few veterinary schools in
this country. Then then there are medical schools, which is
(38:47):
also crazy. Doctor. Thank you so much for your time tonight.
Love to have you on and talk about this at
greater depth. I may have my producer get back to
you folks, if that's okay.
Speaker 4 (38:57):
I would be pleased to do it. I've spent a
huge amount of my career worrying about the things you're
talking about.
Speaker 2 (39:04):
Thanks so much, Doctor Deep Salem, my guest here tonight
on Nightside. Thank you, doctor Salem. When we get back,
we're going to talk about a very interesting piece written
by Joe Vanaki in Today's Boston Globe. We will be
back on Nightside right after this
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