February 4, 2025 • 37 mins
Gary Tanguay Fills In On NightSide with Dan Rea
It’s never easy when you must prepare to say goodbye to a loved one. End of life care can be stressful and daunting but with the right tools and help it doesn’t have to be. How can you tackle grief while undergoing such a challenging period? Angela Crocker, the Executive Director of the Parmenter Foundation joined Gary to answer your questions and discuss tackling grief.
To find out more about the Parmenter Foundation and their upcoming event, An Evening with Will Reeve visit here: An Evening with Will Reeve | The Parmenter Foundation
It’s never easy when you must prepare to say goodbye to a loved one. End of life care can be stressful and daunting but with the right tools and help it doesn’t have to be. How can you tackle grief while undergoing such a challenging period? Angela Crocker, the Executive Director of the Parmenter Foundation joined Gary to answer your questions and discuss tackling grief.
To find out more about the Parmenter Foundation and their upcoming event, An Evening with Will Reeve visit here: An Evening with Will Reeve | The Parmenter Foundation
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
It's Night Side with Dan ray On Dougie Bzy Boston's
news video.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Hey Nicole, thank you very much boy. What a day
or a day or to day. We got a great
show lined up for with we are going to be
talking about the price of electricity and how we can
save some money because it is brutal. That's coming up
in the nine o'clock hour when de Morian Linton will
join us. Also, the polarization of politics. Why can't we
(00:26):
just be a country of reason and just go down
the middle and have some common sense. But it seems
we just swing way to the left. Then we don't
like it and we swing way to the right. That's
at ten o'clock. Super Bowl commercials. Who doesn't like to
talk about Super Bowl commercials? That comes up at eleven o'clock. Now,
if you're watching news, you may say to yourself, good grief.
And I will discuss this later on. With what's going
(00:48):
on with the Trump administration, I don't know how he's
going to take over the guys of stripping. He doesn't
own it. It's not for sale. We will discuss that
going later in the program. But if you're watching, you
do say good grief, which made me think of our
first topic is grief. Good in joining us right now
(01:09):
is Angela Crocker, the executive director of the Parmiteer Foundation. Angela,
thanks for coming on Night's side.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
Thanks for having me Gary. It's great to be with you.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Yeah, this tough fact to follow when you start off
with what's going on with Trump. But I want to
I want to get away from that just a little bit.
I've had a chance to meet you.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
It was actually I was going to say, I was
actually hoping to come on for the Super Bowl commercial part.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Yeah, yeah, I know. But I've had a chance to
learn about your organization through mutual friends and so forth,
and in what you're doing and and and learn how
this topic of grief has really become timely. First of all,
before we get into that, why don't you explain what
the Parmanteer Foundation does.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Sure, at its core, the Parmenter Foundation helps people people
who are grieving or facing end of life challenges, supporting
family members, friends, co workers who are bereaved. And we
are here to kind of support all loved ones of
all ages who are struggling with end of life or
bereavement grief support needs. Well.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
I don't want to say that grief is well, this
is going to sound kind of weird. Grief is in,
or at least talking about grief is in, and Hollywood
is in on it, which is not a bad thing.
Let's listen to Andrew Garfield rob Let's he's talking with
Cooper Anderson. Cooper, Yeah, roller, rob has.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
That grief stayed with you? Yeah, it's see it now,
you feel it now? Yeah, And it's the only route
to feeling how close again. That's the crazy thing. It's
the it's the longing, it's the it's the it's the
admission of the pain. It's the crying out, Hey, I
need you, what are you? I miss you so much?
(03:04):
And only in that absence, only in really inhabiting that
absence and being that little boy at the bottom of
that empty cave in vast darkness and just kind of
crying out, that's the only moment that that she comes.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
It's so weird.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
It's like the longing and the grief for the inhabiting
it and feeling it is the only way I can
is the only way I can really feel close to
her again. The wound is the only roots to the gift.
The grief and the loss is the only roots to
the vitality of being alive.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Yeah, so that he's talking about his mother. So now,
why has it become okay to talk about this? Because
when I grew up it's weird. I remember going to
my first week, you know, my aunt Lydia, and I
still have this image of going into the funeral home
(04:05):
and you go to the casket and you see you
there and you're like, what's going on? And you know,
in a small mill time like Rumford, you know, there's
sometimes there's not a big difference between something happening in
at a bar and a wake. You know, it's it's
it's a social situation, you know, but yet it's it's
(04:26):
not really talked about the way it is now. It's
like you have the wake, you have the funeral, you
move on. That's it. Why has it become so fashionable
for people to hang on to their grief and discuss it.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Well, you know, it's very interesting because it's actually a
very new kind of phenomenon for people, particularly famous people,
to come out and really talk about grief and how
it affects them and how they're how they've found ways
to grief. When I started at Partment Foundation in twenty
fifteen and for me on a personal note, in the
(05:04):
fall of twenty seventeen, I was attending my daughter's first
high school soccer game in our small town, and I
was cheering for the team, and it was such an
exciting day. It was her first game, and I looked
to my right and I saw another player's mom who
I didn't know well, but I immediately recognized her as
the mother whose child had passed away just a month
or two prior to the game in a tragic accident,
(05:28):
and I was immediately viscerally affected. My stomach clenched. I
started non stop thought processing about what to say. I
stopped cheering. I couldn't figure out what to do, what
to say, I couldn't move, and I was scared to
say anything. I didn't want to say something that would
remind her of the loss of her son, and now,
of course, I know you can't remind someone of something
(05:49):
they never forget. I didn't want to ignore her loss
and say hello casually. So I stood there and said
nothing and had I had such big regret afterwards that
I came back to work and said, you know, if
we're in the space of providing at the time, or
providing some pospice care and children's preement work. I thought,
(06:10):
we need to be changing our culture so that we
can that we know how to support one another, so
that we can talk to one another. And I think
that during COVID we really started focusing in this area.
And I think it's a time where people started really
talking about grief. And I think that was the turning
point culturally for us in the United States when we
(06:31):
started to be much more open about this topic.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
How do you recommend you just talked about what you
went through as far as approaching someone you didn't know
about their situation, how do you recommend people handle speaking
to someone who has lost a loved one a month ago,
six months ago, a year ago? How do you recommend?
What do you recommend? How do you approach it?
Speaker 3 (06:57):
Yeah? So, yeah, that we've kind of really embraced this
focus area. We've found a lot of gaps and resources,
and we've actually created a lot of video and written
resources on our website at Wwwparmenterfoundation dot org. And in fact,
as a result of this moment that I talked to
you about, we worked with experts at the Children's Room
(07:19):
and creative video series. It helps parents support their children
or teens who have lost a peer, or to support
their peer who has lost the loved one, and so
all of the experts are right there talking in the videos.
We also created a video series called What to Say
and What Not to Say, which is one of our
most watched videos and that it is a best selling author,
(07:43):
Rebecca Sofer of Modern Loss, and she came up to
speak to our community and did a video series for
us just giving people kind of the lay of the land,
because the isolation of not saying anything is really the
worst thing that we can do our community. So we
really need to have the words what do.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
You say then? And what don't you say? Let's start
with the let's start with what should you say? Can
you give us some examples?
Speaker 3 (08:11):
Sure, I'm thinking about you. I you know, I don't
know exactly. It's okay to say you don't know what
to say, but just let them know that you're you're
thinking of them and that it's okay for them to
grieve with you. What you should never say are things
like comparison statements. For instance, well at least he didn't suffer,
(08:35):
Oh god, at least you've had many years with him
or you know, those for me are the trigger of
the worst. There are a lot more suggestions in those videos,
but for me, those two things stand out the most.
You can say, you don't know what to say, but
you want to be there for them, and then just
don't ever say, at least don't ever start your sentence
(08:58):
with that.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Well, I've done that to myself, and maybe that's the
way of coping with my parents' death. My mom was
eighty four, my dad was ninety. He was eighty nine,
but you know, I rounded up to ninety just to
makes I don't know, like he like he achieved something, right,
you know, way to go, dad, He almost made it
to ninety. And I look at my father in law,
(09:20):
who tragically passed away at sixty one suddenly of a
heart attack, and my dad died of natural causes at ninety,
and I go, well, at least he you know, here,
here's one. How about this, Well, at least he had
a good run. I mean, my god, I said that
about my own father. What an idiot, you know. And
I don't know why, but I guess it makes me
feel better because I don't know if I bring humor
(09:43):
to it. I don't know if I try to lessen it,
you know, because at ninety, I mean, he couldn't see
and he just wasn't the guy that he had wanted
to be. So maybe I don't know, we justify that
to ourselves. Like I remember people in my hometown saying,
well I had a good run. I mean, is that's crazy?
They were, like it was the playoffs.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
Yeah. Well, the other thing I will say is to
have a great compassion for others and for yourself, and
that there really is no right way to grieve. So
if you want to comfort yourself by telling yourself that
your dad had a great run and that you had
all those years with him and that you were really lucky,
that that's fine. It's it's sort of like criticizing your
(10:30):
family members but not allowing anyone else to do the same,
so you you can grieve however you need to.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
All Right, we have more to discuss. Big event coming up,
big event coming up with a Partmenteer Foundation, and we're
going to get Angela to talk about that, involving with
a involving a descendant of Superman, and we'll discuss that
coming up next on WBC's Nightside.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Now back to Dan Ray Mine from the Window. World
Nightside Studios on WBZ.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
News Radio carry Tanguay for day tonight. Angela Cross our guests,
the executive director of the Pomiteer Foundation, helping people tackle
grief of all ages. Now. I was just talking to
Rob Brooks, our producer here during during the break Angela,
and he talked about dealing with the death of his
father and that happened during COVID. So how did COVID
(11:20):
impact on what you're doing now and did it lend
itself to creating more discussion about it.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
I think it definitely created a lot of discussion because
all of those rituals that we were used to kind
of using to help us with our grief and process
with our family and friends were unavailable to us, and
so we started to really dig into grief in a
different way and learn new ways to greet, but also
(11:53):
needed outlets to talk about it. It was a very isolating
experience COVID in general, and then to have a loss
of a loved one during that time was incredibly painful
and difficult, and I think that accelerated the conversation about
grieving the loss of a loved one.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Listen I married into a Jewish family. So cynic HIV
I think is one of the greatest things ever because
it lasts for days and because it takes time, and
there's also a ton of food, which is never a
bad thing. And you know, coming from a Catholic family
in Maine, you know, you did the wake, you did
(12:29):
the funeral. Generally, there was a lot of consuming of alcohol,
a lot of that going on. There are a lot
of toasts going around, you know, for Uncle Johnny or
Uncle Jimmy, you know, or whatever. And then I found
myself on a zoom for my wife's grandmother during COVID
(12:50):
for a service that was strange. I mean, there's no
nothing anybody could do. But I felt bad for I
felt bad for the family. I mean, a funeral service
on zoom is just it's awful.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
It just really it just really compounded our loss and
it made our grief more complicated. And we're and we're
slowly coming out of that. But I do think a
positive byproduct of that is that there is much more
conversation and much more support out there organizations. Although I
(13:25):
think we are a very unique organization, We're out there
trying to make sure that that complex web of support
is there for our community and to make sure that
any gaps and service. We recently found a real gap
for college age students who are navigating grief away from
(13:46):
their home and in a new community, and we've created
some training measurements and some protocols to put into place
for available at no cost for colleges in universities higher
education pros to help educate the professors on a compassionate
campus and how to speak with students who've had a loss,
(14:07):
because it's unbelievable to me what some of the feedback
is that the children have received, or the college students,
I should say, it's hard for me to remember that
their adults, and considering I have one and she just
feels like she's still my little child. But then also
for the students to be able to speak to one another.
(14:28):
And so this training is unique because it is for
all students and all professors. It doesn't have to be
somebody who's experienced a loss, and we're really taking a
lot of that isolation out of the process. So we're
really excited about that project.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Can you get into the details about that, because generally
you think other college kids, what do they have to
worry about. They let her roll off their back, They
go to a fraternity party, they go with some friends,
they have pizza, they go on with their lives. And
we think of mourning as someone who's in their sixties
and they've lost their father or they've lost a brother
or sister. But you're right, it's an untapped well the
lack of a better term, market or demographic. Demographic is
(15:03):
a better word. So can you give me some details,
some meat and potatoes about that.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
Sure? So you know, nearly one in three higher education
students will find themselves bereaved, either just before or during
their college career. And we have spoken with a lot
of kids and heard their stories, including stories of We
know a young woman who lost her parent just before
she went to college and got the syllabus from her
(15:32):
school from her classroom and learned that on the anniversary
of her parents' first passing that she and her family
were supposed to get together. And so she went to
the professor early in the semesters that I see you
have an exam scheduled in October. Can I take that early?
I need to be with my family. And the professor
told her, you can take the exam or you can
(15:52):
get a zero. Those are your choices, and so just
a lack of kind of compassion there. We have another
story from a gentleman who went to a professor and
after having missed a week and a half of school
and said, I'm so sorry I had to go home.
My mother has My mother had passed away and she
was unfortunately she had been sort of at end of
life with a long term illness, and he was afraid
(16:16):
to go home because he didn't want to miss out
on college. That's a big thing for kids is to
miss a day of classes, they feel like they can't
possibly catch up. And he went home and was home
for a week and came back and the professor said, well,
we'll talk about this, but not until I see an obituary.
So there's just a lot going on for our students
who are suffering a great loss and still trying to
(16:39):
navigate college and friendships and social and emotional health and
all the things that they have going on by themselves,
and it often can become very isolating. And our goal
is to help to have all students kind of recognize
what can be going on and know how to support
one another so that it reduces that and reduces the
(17:02):
as you say, to go off to a fraternity party
and drink and help your you know, those unhealthy ways
of making themselves feel better or trying to limit to
for their help the wealthy.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Well, whoa you're talking to the social chairman of Delta
Upsilon fraternity. What do you mean on health?
Speaker 3 (17:21):
No, I know, I understand what you're saying and the
response to grief. It's not the safest thing. But as
a college, you know, they do what they do.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Yes, well, and we did what we did. But what
I have found in my life is when you know,
I lost a friend, I mean in Sudbury. I've talked
about him. My good friend Alan Greenberg all of a
sudden had a heart attack driving his car. As heart
stopped and we covered the Patriots together and just and
I had to go see a therapist. I mean, I was,
(17:50):
I had panic attacks and a number of people in
the media that I talked to and I won't mention names,
but you know that people sports fans know, we were
all like this happened and we were blown out of
the water. Fifty five years old, fifty six, fifty five
years old. He was healthy, except he ate some junk food,
but he wasn't He didn't drink, he didn't smoke, He
(18:11):
worked out all the time and then boomed like that.
And there's I think for men, uh, there's that angle
too where you know you're not supposed to grieve or
you're not supposed to discuss it. And I remember driving
thinking about him like just I you know, I couldn't breathe.
(18:35):
You know that when when somebody dies in your age group,
that's when it hit you like a ton of bricks.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
Yes, that's a that is a really tough loss in
it It oftentimes gives you pause to kind of look
at your life and the what ifs, and that can
be very scary.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
But you know what, we do that for like a minute,
and then we go back to doing this same old
stupid crap. You know, that's the thing we do. That's
you know, I've kind of kicked back in life a
little bit after many use of covering sports, and my
wife still says to me, you know, are you gonna,
like do get busy? Oh, I don't know. I'm kind
of digging this right now. But we don't, you know,
(19:17):
we'll always say stop and smell the roses. Or and
then you know, five minutes later we get pissed off
because the butter's bad in the fridge. You know, I
mean it never, It never gets in our head. We never.
I'm not you don't have to comment. I'm just saying
we never. You know, think about that. Maybe through the
process you said you're talking about what people are discussing
(19:37):
and that you should keep it in front of your mind.
Maybe this will help us, I don't know, be more appreciative,
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
Yeah, and focus on the people that you can help,
which I'm sure that if Alan had family and friends
that you would know how to support them. That's that's
a big piece.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
Well, I think the key is to never forget though
too like we still I remember we used to tell,
oh my god Greenberg, but if he was here now,
he would be like he used to drive Belichick nuts
and press conferences and would say, like, what we need
is an Alan Greenberg press. We need an Alan Greenberg
question right now to send Bill through the roof. Okay,
big day coming up, It's coming up Wednesday, April second.
(20:21):
We are going to talk about that. Well, Reeves is
going to be joining you and your organization. We will
discuss that coming up next right here on WBZ.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
You're on Night Side with Dan Ray on w b Z,
Boston's news Radio.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
All right, Gary tangling in for Dan Ray. Back here
on WBC's nights Side, Angela Crocker joining us to the
executive director of the Parmitaire Foundation, discussing how we tackle grief.
So let's talk about the big night coming up on Wednesday,
April second. Tell us all about it and your big
and this is a big deal. This is a really
(20:58):
big deal. And I think we have to congratulate Jen
for pulling this off.
Speaker 3 (21:04):
So I'm just going to say that I'm just going
to tell you that this is a pie in the
sky idea from Jen Siegel, or communication and program manager.
She had listened to Anderson Cooper's podcast All There Is
and Will Reeve was speaking on It was a guest
on the podcast, and she said, boy, I want to
(21:26):
be fabulous if we could have him come to our
community and talk to him how he has navigated his
life from high school to college for a successful career
in broadcast journalism while still carrying the grief of the
loss of both of his parents with him. And she
reached out to him, and he responded and said he
(21:46):
would love to come talk to our community. And so
April second is the day. At seven pm. We're going
to be at a really intimate space at the Regis
College Theater in Weston, mass It's a it's not a
big venue, so it'll be a very intimate experience, and
also the tickets are selling fast for that, but really
(22:08):
selling fast for the opportunity to meet Will. There's a
limited space for a meet and greet after his his show,
and the show is comprised of him speaking a moderated
discussion with a question and answer from the audience as well.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Now, Will will you be showing the documentary? Did he
do a documentary?
Speaker 3 (22:30):
Yeah, so he recently was in it was involved in
a documentary called super slash Man and that documentary was
about his family. And then he's also actually going to
be appearing in Superman, the next movie coming out. He
has an appearance in that Superman movie. And of course
(22:50):
most people may know him from Good Morning America where
he is a journalist and had previously been an ESPN
You may have have met well.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
I mean, it's just it just goes to show the
type of guy he is. Because the planning was, how
do we get this person. We'll try to talk to
this person, we'll read we'll never get him. And then
you know, miss Siegel just dials him up and says
hey dude, and boom he's there, which just goes to
show how important this is to him. Really, I mean,
no agent, no, you know, usually you have to deal
(23:19):
with agents and speaking engagements and all that. So and
he's just going to come in and do this, which
I think is amazing. The celebrity part of this, how
much is you know, it's a fact, you know, it's
a factor. I mean, he's Superman's kid, right, So do.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
We know a lot of people know his story? Right?
So a lot of people know his father being a
Superman actor, director, activist, and that he was paralyzed larger
than life man on the on the movie Theater was
paralyzed in a horseback riding accident when Will was just
three years old, so he was quite young. His mother, Dana,
(24:01):
was his father's caregiver, so he watched the caregiving all
those years, and then when he was twelve years old,
his father died from complications of an infection, and eighteen
months later, his mother Dana Reeve died of lung cancer,
so by the time that he was thirteen, he was
orphaned by both of his parents. And he says, you know,
(24:25):
he's very resilient and he's very inspiring. And I think
that that's what people will respond to. The fact that
people know his story makes him I think a little
bit more relatable. They know what they're coming into. But he,
I think, is just a remarkable man. And he talks
about how grief is permanent, but healing is possible, and
that's his mantra. And he tries to honor his parents
(24:48):
how he lives and treats other people, and you can
tell he's just incredibly personable and very eager to help.
But you know, responded within hours of our of Jennifer
emailing him, I mean, really responsive and excited to come
and join our community.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
Well, that seagull girl knocks down walls. I'll tell you
right now, that's what she does. But also you left
out a very important little nugget. Robin Williams and Christopher
Reeve's roommates at Juilliard.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
Right, Oh, you know, I didn't know that. I know that.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
How about that company?
Speaker 3 (25:23):
My big spear not to leave something out. So I'm
glad it was something I didn't actually know.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
Can you I mean, what was that like? Because well Williams,
I mean to get you know, get off topic a
little bit. He was going to be a serious actor,
wasn't getting work, and then just became this, Oh my god.
I mean, you know storm of a comedian, but you
know Superman and you know the professor from Goodwill hunting
his roommates. Boy, I wish I would have been a
fly on that wall. That would have been. That would
(25:50):
have been so one time.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
I knew that they were very good friends. I didn't
know that that it had come through their roommate situation.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
A friend of mine said to me once, and he
has actually just dealt with the loss of his wife.
He said, there is relief and death at times. Do
you agree with that?
Speaker 3 (26:10):
Well, what I will say is that we oftentimes talk
about that that relief is okay. I hear it a lot,
particularly in cases where there's long term illness, right, and
the caregiver has given all that they have for usually
quite a long period of time, And it is sadly
(26:32):
not uncommon for a caregiver to pass before the person
who is sick because of the stress and told that
it takes on a caregiver to care twenty four hours
a day for another person. I loved one, and so yes,
I do hear that and it resonates for a lot
of people.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
You know, my dad when he passed away, he couldn't
really take care of himself and he hated it. So
sometimes with modern medicine, have you ever thought of maybe
we live too long?
Speaker 3 (27:06):
Well, I'm not sure that I'm the judge of who
lived too long or not. I will say that I
have seen a lot of information about giving the power
of making more healthcare decisions to the person who is ill,
so that they can make decisions about how they want
their life to be. Hospice is a really is something
(27:29):
that we really do a lot of support of, particularly
hospice residential care, which is not covered by insurance and
so it is an out of pocket expense for the
room and board, and we can we subsidize that at
a hosta at a local hospice in Wayland, the Miriam
Boyd Parlan Hospice Residents and we do that because as
you talk about this, it makes me think about dignity
(27:50):
at end of life and it really is a compassionate
homelight setting for people, and so I think that's what
the focus for our organization is really about, dignity and
compassionate care.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
How Come I don't know if you can answer this.
How come it's not covered by insurance? I don't understand that.
I know insurance companies want to they want to take
our money. They don't want to pay it out when
they got it. But why isn't it an answer?
Speaker 3 (28:19):
No, the care is covered, So the medical care is covered,
but the residence is not.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
Right, But if you're in a hospital or a nursing home,
it is covered. Yes, that's a head scratch it to me.
I don't understand that one at all. But you know
I'm not.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
I'm a very complex system.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
Well, what are you kidding me? I mean I'm not
going to I could call a blue Cross and blue
shield tomorrow on that, and I'm not going to win
that battle. Okay, Angela again, Angela Crocker, Wednesday, April second,
I will be there and we'll ring. YEP is going
to be speaking. It's a regius college. Check it out.
(29:04):
Also check out the Parimiteer Foundation if you're dealing with grief.
The loss of a loved one or if you want
to help or you want to find out what they're about.
Because the part about Angela's caused, which I when I
was brought into it, I thought, Okay, well, she's helping people,
she's helping old people deal with death. I mean, that's
what I thought, right, And then you just gave this
(29:26):
great explanation of how you're helping young people and getting
into colleges and supporting them emotionally, which I never would
have even thought of. So the Parimiteer Organization is opening doors,
so I will see you well, if not before on
April second, I'll.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
Look forward to it and your audience can find out
more about the Parmenter Foundation as well as the will
Reap event at our website Parmenter Foundation dot org. And
I don't know if it'll be up on your program
notes or not.
Speaker 2 (29:57):
We will, we are gonna this. We put this up
as a podcast and we'll put it in the notes
with the podcast as well, and we'll put it out
on social medo.
Speaker 3 (30:08):
Well, thank you so much, really appreciate the opportunity and
always love chatting with you.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
Angela. Take care, We appreciate your efforts.
Speaker 3 (30:16):
Thank you so much. Have a great night and have
fun with your comedian.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
Oh well, believe me, I will. Angela Crocker, the executive
director of the Parmitan Foundation helping you tackle grief. Unique
group really is. If you're dealing with this and we
all have to deal with it at some point, I
recommend you check it out at the parmiteerdog org dot org.
(30:41):
Google them, you'll find them. You'll see Angela, Angela Crockett, Parmoneer.
And if you're looking for help reading material, you want
to work, you want to contribute, you want to volunteer,
they are all yours. Okay, this is WBZ Gary tang
Way for Dan. Right coming up. My electric bill is crazy,
(31:03):
but I mean I got we leave the lights on.
I'm my father. I have become my father. Shut off
the damn lights. Everybody leaves the lights on. That's next.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
WBS Now back to Dan Ray live from the Window
World Nightside Studios on WBZ News Radio.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
It's Gary Tagway for Dan. If you just heard the
big voice guys say that you got me, well, I'm
sorry you may be disappointed. I did get ahead of myself.
We are going to talking about We will talk about
the high cost of electricity, what we need to do
about it. That's coming up at nine o'clock with the
Morian Linton, the CEO of Inertial Resources. So we will
do that in about ten minutes. But I'm just gonna
(31:47):
rant a little bit. So Trump is saying that we
should take over the Gaza Strip and do what put
up a Dave Inbusters. I mean, so there are people
that live there. Oh, by the way, Now he says,
(32:08):
you can the place displace the Palestinians. Now I don't
want to speak for the Palestinians, but based on what
I've seen of the Gaza Strip. If I'm a Palestinian
and you say to me, I will take you to
another country or you can go live someplace else, I'm
in but that's me. But where are you're going to go?
(32:31):
So some other countries have said no, no, no, no, no,
we're not taking these guys in other Middle Eastern countries.
So Trump just continues, like what is he say? What
is he thinking? He looked, you know what's he's a
real estate developer. He's still that's what he's doing. He's
looking at the Gaza Strip like a strip mall of
(32:52):
new Jersey. What can I do? How do I tear
it down? What do I do with it? So we're
going to take ownership of it. It's not ours, it
doesn't belong to us. Well, and do you think Imas
is just gonna hand it over? Oh? By the way,
(33:12):
President Trump, remember the people that busted through the fence
and murdered Israeli citizens when they were just having a
Sunday morning social gathering. What are you gonna do with them?
You think they're gonna leave? I mean what, I don't
under I don't get it. And it makes sense that
(33:38):
he gets along with Natanya who because they both have
the same type of personalities, very bravado, very aggressive. So
I see why Natanya who said that, you know, Trump's
the greatest president ever, they feel the same way. Just
bulldoze everybody. I couldn't believe what he said, that what
(33:59):
are we We're gonna take a some of the guys
a strip, Let's just take it over, like he's gonna
put up one of his retail properties. It's unbelievable. And
then of course now Musk he's still running around pissing
(34:23):
people off, and somebody on his staff allegedly has access
to the federal payroll system. You gotta be careful here, folks.
Are these people that proved the people on Musk's staff,
have they cleared? Have they gone through a security clearance?
Are you looking at social Security numbers of government employees?
(34:44):
Are you looking at addresses? Are you looking at family information?
Are you looking at household incomes? Because Musk has some
twenty five year old intern that just wants to come
in and take a look at the numbers. Have these
people been cleared? I mean, these are the things that
are through my mind. And I can appreciate the theory
of let's make the government more efficient, I really can,
(35:06):
because we all know that there's too much fat. There
always has been, there always will be, and sometimes you
have to spend more to help some people. You know,
it's never going to be perfect. But then he wants
to then he just wants to do away with depart Like,
just do away with departments. That's it. Just wipe it out,
(35:32):
just say yeah, we don't need this anymore. Boom, you know,
just you gotta slow down a little bit. I'm all
for being efficient, I really am, and I can appreciate it.
But you know, the Department of Education which I didn't.
(35:53):
I thought it had long been established well before nineteen seventy nine.
I was surprised. They held people in lower income areas,
They help students with disabilities, They manage financial aid. Did
you get financial aid to go to college? I got
a little bit, good Old University of Maine. I mean,
it wasn't a time my dad worked. My mom didn't.
(36:14):
He worked in a mill did okay, But yeah, we
got some help. Every little bit helped. So are you
just going to wipe that out? I mean so okay.
If you wipe out the Department of Education, the financial aid,
that's the thing that worries me. There will be people
that can't afford to go to college. Now, if you
want to tell me there's some way that you can
(36:34):
lower the price of college, I'm all for it, because
I'm paying tuition right now for two It's crazy. We've
done topics on this. The cost of post secondary education
is high way robbery. It's not worth it. For the
(36:54):
most part, across the country, the education that college students
get is not worth the money. They have to get loans.
They can't afford to pay them off when they get out.
The jobs aren't there, and certainly the income isn't there.
So let's just get rid of the Department of Education
and we'll get rid of all those student loans and
(37:16):
financial assistance. Let's just do that. Or what about students
who cannot walk and there are schools that need financial
help to put in elevators or in buses, or for
those that are hearing impaired or sightless. It's just not
(37:37):
that easy. You can still be fiscally responsible and compassionate.
It's not either or doesn't have to be, just doesn't
have to be. Lower your electricity prices. You know what
I tell the kids, Put on a sweater, Put on
a sweat, and turn down the heat that's coming up.
An next Towbz's night side
It's Night Side with Dan ray On Dougie Bzy Boston's
news video.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Hey Nicole, thank you very much boy. What a day
or a day or to day. We got a great
show lined up for with we are going to be
talking about the price of electricity and how we can
save some money because it is brutal. That's coming up
in the nine o'clock hour when de Morian Linton will
join us. Also, the polarization of politics. Why can't we
(00:26):
just be a country of reason and just go down
the middle and have some common sense. But it seems
we just swing way to the left. Then we don't
like it and we swing way to the right. That's
at ten o'clock. Super Bowl commercials. Who doesn't like to
talk about Super Bowl commercials? That comes up at eleven o'clock. Now,
if you're watching news, you may say to yourself, good grief.
And I will discuss this later on. With what's going
(00:48):
on with the Trump administration, I don't know how he's
going to take over the guys of stripping. He doesn't
own it. It's not for sale. We will discuss that
going later in the program. But if you're watching, you
do say good grief, which made me think of our
first topic is grief. Good in joining us right now
(01:09):
is Angela Crocker, the executive director of the Parmiteer Foundation. Angela,
thanks for coming on Night's side.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
Thanks for having me Gary. It's great to be with you.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Yeah, this tough fact to follow when you start off
with what's going on with Trump. But I want to
I want to get away from that just a little bit.
I've had a chance to meet you.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
It was actually I was going to say, I was
actually hoping to come on for the Super Bowl commercial part.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Yeah, yeah, I know. But I've had a chance to
learn about your organization through mutual friends and so forth,
and in what you're doing and and and learn how
this topic of grief has really become timely. First of all,
before we get into that, why don't you explain what
the Parmanteer Foundation does.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Sure, at its core, the Parmenter Foundation helps people people
who are grieving or facing end of life challenges, supporting
family members, friends, co workers who are bereaved. And we
are here to kind of support all loved ones of
all ages who are struggling with end of life or
bereavement grief support needs. Well.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
I don't want to say that grief is well, this
is going to sound kind of weird. Grief is in,
or at least talking about grief is in, and Hollywood
is in on it, which is not a bad thing.
Let's listen to Andrew Garfield rob Let's he's talking with
Cooper Anderson. Cooper, Yeah, roller, rob has.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
That grief stayed with you? Yeah, it's see it now,
you feel it now? Yeah, And it's the only route
to feeling how close again. That's the crazy thing. It's
the it's the longing, it's the it's the it's the
admission of the pain. It's the crying out, Hey, I
need you, what are you? I miss you so much?
(03:04):
And only in that absence, only in really inhabiting that
absence and being that little boy at the bottom of
that empty cave in vast darkness and just kind of
crying out, that's the only moment that that she comes.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
It's so weird.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
It's like the longing and the grief for the inhabiting
it and feeling it is the only way I can
is the only way I can really feel close to
her again. The wound is the only roots to the gift.
The grief and the loss is the only roots to
the vitality of being alive.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Yeah, so that he's talking about his mother. So now,
why has it become okay to talk about this? Because
when I grew up it's weird. I remember going to
my first week, you know, my aunt Lydia, and I
still have this image of going into the funeral home
(04:05):
and you go to the casket and you see you
there and you're like, what's going on? And you know,
in a small mill time like Rumford, you know, there's
sometimes there's not a big difference between something happening in
at a bar and a wake. You know, it's it's
it's a social situation, you know, but yet it's it's
(04:26):
not really talked about the way it is now. It's
like you have the wake, you have the funeral, you
move on. That's it. Why has it become so fashionable
for people to hang on to their grief and discuss it.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Well, you know, it's very interesting because it's actually a
very new kind of phenomenon for people, particularly famous people,
to come out and really talk about grief and how
it affects them and how they're how they've found ways
to grief. When I started at Partment Foundation in twenty
fifteen and for me on a personal note, in the
(05:04):
fall of twenty seventeen, I was attending my daughter's first
high school soccer game in our small town, and I
was cheering for the team, and it was such an
exciting day. It was her first game, and I looked
to my right and I saw another player's mom who
I didn't know well, but I immediately recognized her as
the mother whose child had passed away just a month
or two prior to the game in a tragic accident,
(05:28):
and I was immediately viscerally affected. My stomach clenched. I
started non stop thought processing about what to say. I
stopped cheering. I couldn't figure out what to do, what
to say, I couldn't move, and I was scared to
say anything. I didn't want to say something that would
remind her of the loss of her son, and now,
of course, I know you can't remind someone of something
(05:49):
they never forget. I didn't want to ignore her loss
and say hello casually. So I stood there and said
nothing and had I had such big regret afterwards that
I came back to work and said, you know, if
we're in the space of providing at the time, or
providing some pospice care and children's preement work. I thought,
(06:10):
we need to be changing our culture so that we
can that we know how to support one another, so
that we can talk to one another. And I think
that during COVID we really started focusing in this area.
And I think it's a time where people started really
talking about grief. And I think that was the turning
point culturally for us in the United States when we
(06:31):
started to be much more open about this topic.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
How do you recommend you just talked about what you
went through as far as approaching someone you didn't know
about their situation, how do you recommend people handle speaking
to someone who has lost a loved one a month ago,
six months ago, a year ago? How do you recommend?
What do you recommend? How do you approach it?
Speaker 3 (06:57):
Yeah? So, yeah, that we've kind of really embraced this
focus area. We've found a lot of gaps and resources,
and we've actually created a lot of video and written
resources on our website at Wwwparmenterfoundation dot org. And in fact,
as a result of this moment that I talked to
you about, we worked with experts at the Children's Room
(07:19):
and creative video series. It helps parents support their children
or teens who have lost a peer, or to support
their peer who has lost the loved one, and so
all of the experts are right there talking in the videos.
We also created a video series called What to Say
and What Not to Say, which is one of our
most watched videos and that it is a best selling author,
(07:43):
Rebecca Sofer of Modern Loss, and she came up to
speak to our community and did a video series for
us just giving people kind of the lay of the land,
because the isolation of not saying anything is really the
worst thing that we can do our community. So we
really need to have the words what do.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
You say then? And what don't you say? Let's start
with the let's start with what should you say? Can
you give us some examples?
Speaker 3 (08:11):
Sure, I'm thinking about you. I you know, I don't
know exactly. It's okay to say you don't know what
to say, but just let them know that you're you're
thinking of them and that it's okay for them to
grieve with you. What you should never say are things
like comparison statements. For instance, well at least he didn't suffer,
(08:35):
Oh god, at least you've had many years with him
or you know, those for me are the trigger of
the worst. There are a lot more suggestions in those videos,
but for me, those two things stand out the most.
You can say, you don't know what to say, but
you want to be there for them, and then just
don't ever say, at least don't ever start your sentence
(08:58):
with that.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Well, I've done that to myself, and maybe that's the
way of coping with my parents' death. My mom was
eighty four, my dad was ninety. He was eighty nine,
but you know, I rounded up to ninety just to
makes I don't know, like he like he achieved something, right,
you know, way to go, dad, He almost made it
to ninety. And I look at my father in law,
(09:20):
who tragically passed away at sixty one suddenly of a
heart attack, and my dad died of natural causes at ninety,
and I go, well, at least he you know, here,
here's one. How about this, Well, at least he had
a good run. I mean, my god, I said that
about my own father. What an idiot, you know. And
I don't know why, but I guess it makes me
feel better because I don't know if I bring humor
(09:43):
to it. I don't know if I try to lessen it,
you know, because at ninety, I mean, he couldn't see
and he just wasn't the guy that he had wanted
to be. So maybe I don't know, we justify that
to ourselves. Like I remember people in my hometown saying,
well I had a good run. I mean, is that's crazy?
They were, like it was the playoffs.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
Yeah. Well, the other thing I will say is to
have a great compassion for others and for yourself, and
that there really is no right way to grieve. So
if you want to comfort yourself by telling yourself that
your dad had a great run and that you had
all those years with him and that you were really lucky,
that that's fine. It's it's sort of like criticizing your
(10:30):
family members but not allowing anyone else to do the same,
so you you can grieve however you need to.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
All Right, we have more to discuss. Big event coming up,
big event coming up with a Partmenteer Foundation, and we're
going to get Angela to talk about that, involving with
a involving a descendant of Superman, and we'll discuss that
coming up next on WBC's Nightside.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Now back to Dan Ray Mine from the Window. World
Nightside Studios on WBZ.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
News Radio carry Tanguay for day tonight. Angela Cross our guests,
the executive director of the Pomiteer Foundation, helping people tackle
grief of all ages. Now. I was just talking to
Rob Brooks, our producer here during during the break Angela,
and he talked about dealing with the death of his
father and that happened during COVID. So how did COVID
(11:20):
impact on what you're doing now and did it lend
itself to creating more discussion about it.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
I think it definitely created a lot of discussion because
all of those rituals that we were used to kind
of using to help us with our grief and process
with our family and friends were unavailable to us, and
so we started to really dig into grief in a
different way and learn new ways to greet, but also
(11:53):
needed outlets to talk about it. It was a very isolating
experience COVID in general, and then to have a loss
of a loved one during that time was incredibly painful
and difficult, and I think that accelerated the conversation about
grieving the loss of a loved one.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Listen I married into a Jewish family. So cynic HIV
I think is one of the greatest things ever because
it lasts for days and because it takes time, and
there's also a ton of food, which is never a
bad thing. And you know, coming from a Catholic family
in Maine, you know, you did the wake, you did
(12:29):
the funeral. Generally, there was a lot of consuming of alcohol,
a lot of that going on. There are a lot
of toasts going around, you know, for Uncle Johnny or
Uncle Jimmy, you know, or whatever. And then I found
myself on a zoom for my wife's grandmother during COVID
(12:50):
for a service that was strange. I mean, there's no
nothing anybody could do. But I felt bad for I
felt bad for the family. I mean, a funeral service
on zoom is just it's awful.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
It just really it just really compounded our loss and
it made our grief more complicated. And we're and we're
slowly coming out of that. But I do think a
positive byproduct of that is that there is much more
conversation and much more support out there organizations. Although I
(13:25):
think we are a very unique organization, We're out there
trying to make sure that that complex web of support
is there for our community and to make sure that
any gaps and service. We recently found a real gap
for college age students who are navigating grief away from
(13:46):
their home and in a new community, and we've created
some training measurements and some protocols to put into place
for available at no cost for colleges in universities higher
education pros to help educate the professors on a compassionate
campus and how to speak with students who've had a loss,
(14:07):
because it's unbelievable to me what some of the feedback
is that the children have received, or the college students,
I should say, it's hard for me to remember that
their adults, and considering I have one and she just
feels like she's still my little child. But then also
for the students to be able to speak to one another.
(14:28):
And so this training is unique because it is for
all students and all professors. It doesn't have to be
somebody who's experienced a loss, and we're really taking a
lot of that isolation out of the process. So we're
really excited about that project.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Can you get into the details about that, because generally
you think other college kids, what do they have to
worry about. They let her roll off their back, They
go to a fraternity party, they go with some friends,
they have pizza, they go on with their lives. And
we think of mourning as someone who's in their sixties
and they've lost their father or they've lost a brother
or sister. But you're right, it's an untapped well the
lack of a better term, market or demographic. Demographic is
(15:03):
a better word. So can you give me some details,
some meat and potatoes about that.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
Sure? So you know, nearly one in three higher education
students will find themselves bereaved, either just before or during
their college career. And we have spoken with a lot
of kids and heard their stories, including stories of We
know a young woman who lost her parent just before
she went to college and got the syllabus from her
(15:32):
school from her classroom and learned that on the anniversary
of her parents' first passing that she and her family
were supposed to get together. And so she went to
the professor early in the semesters that I see you
have an exam scheduled in October. Can I take that early?
I need to be with my family. And the professor
told her, you can take the exam or you can
(15:52):
get a zero. Those are your choices, and so just
a lack of kind of compassion there. We have another
story from a gentleman who went to a professor and
after having missed a week and a half of school
and said, I'm so sorry I had to go home.
My mother has My mother had passed away and she
was unfortunately she had been sort of at end of
life with a long term illness, and he was afraid
(16:16):
to go home because he didn't want to miss out
on college. That's a big thing for kids is to
miss a day of classes, they feel like they can't
possibly catch up. And he went home and was home
for a week and came back and the professor said, well,
we'll talk about this, but not until I see an obituary.
So there's just a lot going on for our students
who are suffering a great loss and still trying to
(16:39):
navigate college and friendships and social and emotional health and
all the things that they have going on by themselves,
and it often can become very isolating. And our goal
is to help to have all students kind of recognize
what can be going on and know how to support
one another so that it reduces that and reduces the
(17:02):
as you say, to go off to a fraternity party
and drink and help your you know, those unhealthy ways
of making themselves feel better or trying to limit to
for their help the wealthy.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Well, whoa you're talking to the social chairman of Delta
Upsilon fraternity. What do you mean on health?
Speaker 3 (17:21):
No, I know, I understand what you're saying and the
response to grief. It's not the safest thing. But as
a college, you know, they do what they do.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Yes, well, and we did what we did. But what
I have found in my life is when you know,
I lost a friend, I mean in Sudbury. I've talked
about him. My good friend Alan Greenberg all of a
sudden had a heart attack driving his car. As heart
stopped and we covered the Patriots together and just and
I had to go see a therapist. I mean, I was,
(17:50):
I had panic attacks and a number of people in
the media that I talked to and I won't mention names,
but you know that people sports fans know, we were
all like this happened and we were blown out of
the water. Fifty five years old, fifty six, fifty five
years old. He was healthy, except he ate some junk food,
but he wasn't He didn't drink, he didn't smoke, He
(18:11):
worked out all the time and then boomed like that.
And there's I think for men, uh, there's that angle
too where you know you're not supposed to grieve or
you're not supposed to discuss it. And I remember driving
thinking about him like just I you know, I couldn't breathe.
(18:35):
You know that when when somebody dies in your age group,
that's when it hit you like a ton of bricks.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
Yes, that's a that is a really tough loss in
it It oftentimes gives you pause to kind of look
at your life and the what ifs, and that can
be very scary.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
But you know what, we do that for like a minute,
and then we go back to doing this same old
stupid crap. You know, that's the thing we do. That's
you know, I've kind of kicked back in life a
little bit after many use of covering sports, and my
wife still says to me, you know, are you gonna,
like do get busy? Oh, I don't know. I'm kind
of digging this right now. But we don't, you know,
(19:17):
we'll always say stop and smell the roses. Or and
then you know, five minutes later we get pissed off
because the butter's bad in the fridge. You know, I
mean it never, It never gets in our head. We never.
I'm not you don't have to comment. I'm just saying
we never. You know, think about that. Maybe through the
process you said you're talking about what people are discussing
(19:37):
and that you should keep it in front of your mind.
Maybe this will help us, I don't know, be more appreciative,
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
Yeah, and focus on the people that you can help,
which I'm sure that if Alan had family and friends
that you would know how to support them. That's that's
a big piece.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
Well, I think the key is to never forget though
too like we still I remember we used to tell,
oh my god Greenberg, but if he was here now,
he would be like he used to drive Belichick nuts
and press conferences and would say, like, what we need
is an Alan Greenberg press. We need an Alan Greenberg
question right now to send Bill through the roof. Okay,
big day coming up, It's coming up Wednesday, April second.
(20:21):
We are going to talk about that. Well, Reeves is
going to be joining you and your organization. We will
discuss that coming up next right here on WBZ.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
You're on Night Side with Dan Ray on w b Z,
Boston's news Radio.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
All right, Gary tangling in for Dan Ray. Back here
on WBC's nights Side, Angela Crocker joining us to the
executive director of the Parmitaire Foundation, discussing how we tackle grief.
So let's talk about the big night coming up on Wednesday,
April second. Tell us all about it and your big
and this is a big deal. This is a really
(20:58):
big deal. And I think we have to congratulate Jen
for pulling this off.
Speaker 3 (21:04):
So I'm just going to say that I'm just going
to tell you that this is a pie in the
sky idea from Jen Siegel, or communication and program manager.
She had listened to Anderson Cooper's podcast All There Is
and Will Reeve was speaking on It was a guest
on the podcast, and she said, boy, I want to
(21:26):
be fabulous if we could have him come to our
community and talk to him how he has navigated his
life from high school to college for a successful career
in broadcast journalism while still carrying the grief of the
loss of both of his parents with him. And she
reached out to him, and he responded and said he
(21:46):
would love to come talk to our community. And so
April second is the day. At seven pm. We're going
to be at a really intimate space at the Regis
College Theater in Weston, mass It's a it's not a
big venue, so it'll be a very intimate experience, and
also the tickets are selling fast for that, but really
(22:08):
selling fast for the opportunity to meet Will. There's a
limited space for a meet and greet after his his show,
and the show is comprised of him speaking a moderated
discussion with a question and answer from the audience as well.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Now, Will will you be showing the documentary? Did he
do a documentary?
Speaker 3 (22:30):
Yeah, so he recently was in it was involved in
a documentary called super slash Man and that documentary was
about his family. And then he's also actually going to
be appearing in Superman, the next movie coming out. He
has an appearance in that Superman movie. And of course
(22:50):
most people may know him from Good Morning America where
he is a journalist and had previously been an ESPN
You may have have met well.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
I mean, it's just it just goes to show the
type of guy he is. Because the planning was, how
do we get this person. We'll try to talk to
this person, we'll read we'll never get him. And then
you know, miss Siegel just dials him up and says
hey dude, and boom he's there, which just goes to
show how important this is to him. Really, I mean,
no agent, no, you know, usually you have to deal
(23:19):
with agents and speaking engagements and all that. So and
he's just going to come in and do this, which
I think is amazing. The celebrity part of this, how
much is you know, it's a fact, you know, it's
a factor. I mean, he's Superman's kid, right, So do.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
We know a lot of people know his story? Right?
So a lot of people know his father being a
Superman actor, director, activist, and that he was paralyzed larger
than life man on the on the movie Theater was
paralyzed in a horseback riding accident when Will was just
three years old, so he was quite young. His mother, Dana,
(24:01):
was his father's caregiver, so he watched the caregiving all
those years, and then when he was twelve years old,
his father died from complications of an infection, and eighteen
months later, his mother Dana Reeve died of lung cancer,
so by the time that he was thirteen, he was
orphaned by both of his parents. And he says, you know,
(24:25):
he's very resilient and he's very inspiring. And I think
that that's what people will respond to. The fact that
people know his story makes him I think a little
bit more relatable. They know what they're coming into. But he,
I think, is just a remarkable man. And he talks
about how grief is permanent, but healing is possible, and
that's his mantra. And he tries to honor his parents
(24:48):
how he lives and treats other people, and you can
tell he's just incredibly personable and very eager to help.
But you know, responded within hours of our of Jennifer
emailing him, I mean, really responsive and excited to come
and join our community.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
Well, that seagull girl knocks down walls. I'll tell you
right now, that's what she does. But also you left
out a very important little nugget. Robin Williams and Christopher
Reeve's roommates at Juilliard.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
Right, Oh, you know, I didn't know that. I know that.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
How about that company?
Speaker 3 (25:23):
My big spear not to leave something out. So I'm
glad it was something I didn't actually know.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
Can you I mean, what was that like? Because well Williams,
I mean to get you know, get off topic a
little bit. He was going to be a serious actor,
wasn't getting work, and then just became this, Oh my god.
I mean, you know storm of a comedian, but you
know Superman and you know the professor from Goodwill hunting
his roommates. Boy, I wish I would have been a
fly on that wall. That would have been. That would
(25:50):
have been so one time.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
I knew that they were very good friends. I didn't
know that that it had come through their roommate situation.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
A friend of mine said to me once, and he
has actually just dealt with the loss of his wife.
He said, there is relief and death at times. Do
you agree with that?
Speaker 3 (26:10):
Well, what I will say is that we oftentimes talk
about that that relief is okay. I hear it a lot,
particularly in cases where there's long term illness, right, and
the caregiver has given all that they have for usually
quite a long period of time, And it is sadly
(26:32):
not uncommon for a caregiver to pass before the person
who is sick because of the stress and told that
it takes on a caregiver to care twenty four hours
a day for another person. I loved one, and so yes,
I do hear that and it resonates for a lot
of people.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
You know, my dad when he passed away, he couldn't
really take care of himself and he hated it. So
sometimes with modern medicine, have you ever thought of maybe
we live too long?
Speaker 3 (27:06):
Well, I'm not sure that I'm the judge of who
lived too long or not. I will say that I
have seen a lot of information about giving the power
of making more healthcare decisions to the person who is ill,
so that they can make decisions about how they want
their life to be. Hospice is a really is something
(27:29):
that we really do a lot of support of, particularly
hospice residential care, which is not covered by insurance and
so it is an out of pocket expense for the
room and board, and we can we subsidize that at
a hosta at a local hospice in Wayland, the Miriam
Boyd Parlan Hospice Residents and we do that because as
you talk about this, it makes me think about dignity
(27:50):
at end of life and it really is a compassionate
homelight setting for people, and so I think that's what
the focus for our organization is really about, dignity and
compassionate care.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
How Come I don't know if you can answer this.
How come it's not covered by insurance? I don't understand that.
I know insurance companies want to they want to take
our money. They don't want to pay it out when
they got it. But why isn't it an answer?
Speaker 3 (28:19):
No, the care is covered, So the medical care is covered,
but the residence is not.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
Right, But if you're in a hospital or a nursing home,
it is covered. Yes, that's a head scratch it to me.
I don't understand that one at all. But you know
I'm not.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
I'm a very complex system.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
Well, what are you kidding me? I mean I'm not
going to I could call a blue Cross and blue
shield tomorrow on that, and I'm not going to win
that battle. Okay, Angela again, Angela Crocker, Wednesday, April second,
I will be there and we'll ring. YEP is going
to be speaking. It's a regius college. Check it out.
(29:04):
Also check out the Parimiteer Foundation if you're dealing with grief.
The loss of a loved one or if you want
to help or you want to find out what they're about.
Because the part about Angela's caused, which I when I
was brought into it, I thought, Okay, well, she's helping people,
she's helping old people deal with death. I mean, that's
what I thought, right, And then you just gave this
(29:26):
great explanation of how you're helping young people and getting
into colleges and supporting them emotionally, which I never would
have even thought of. So the Parimiteer Organization is opening doors,
so I will see you well, if not before on
April second, I'll.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
Look forward to it and your audience can find out
more about the Parmenter Foundation as well as the will
Reap event at our website Parmenter Foundation dot org. And
I don't know if it'll be up on your program
notes or not.
Speaker 2 (29:57):
We will, we are gonna this. We put this up
as a podcast and we'll put it in the notes
with the podcast as well, and we'll put it out
on social medo.
Speaker 3 (30:08):
Well, thank you so much, really appreciate the opportunity and
always love chatting with you.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
Angela. Take care, We appreciate your efforts.
Speaker 3 (30:16):
Thank you so much. Have a great night and have
fun with your comedian.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
Oh well, believe me, I will. Angela Crocker, the executive
director of the Parmitan Foundation helping you tackle grief. Unique
group really is. If you're dealing with this and we
all have to deal with it at some point, I
recommend you check it out at the parmiteerdog org dot org.
(30:41):
Google them, you'll find them. You'll see Angela, Angela Crockett, Parmoneer.
And if you're looking for help reading material, you want
to work, you want to contribute, you want to volunteer,
they are all yours. Okay, this is WBZ Gary tang
Way for Dan. Right coming up. My electric bill is crazy,
(31:03):
but I mean I got we leave the lights on.
I'm my father. I have become my father. Shut off
the damn lights. Everybody leaves the lights on. That's next.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
WBS Now back to Dan Ray live from the Window
World Nightside Studios on WBZ News Radio.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
It's Gary Tagway for Dan. If you just heard the
big voice guys say that you got me, well, I'm
sorry you may be disappointed. I did get ahead of myself.
We are going to talking about We will talk about
the high cost of electricity, what we need to do
about it. That's coming up at nine o'clock with the
Morian Linton, the CEO of Inertial Resources. So we will
do that in about ten minutes. But I'm just gonna
(31:47):
rant a little bit. So Trump is saying that we
should take over the Gaza Strip and do what put
up a Dave Inbusters. I mean, so there are people
that live there. Oh, by the way, Now he says,
(32:08):
you can the place displace the Palestinians. Now I don't
want to speak for the Palestinians, but based on what
I've seen of the Gaza Strip. If I'm a Palestinian
and you say to me, I will take you to
another country or you can go live someplace else, I'm
in but that's me. But where are you're going to go?
(32:31):
So some other countries have said no, no, no, no, no,
we're not taking these guys in other Middle Eastern countries.
So Trump just continues, like what is he say? What
is he thinking? He looked, you know what's he's a
real estate developer. He's still that's what he's doing. He's
looking at the Gaza Strip like a strip mall of
(32:52):
new Jersey. What can I do? How do I tear
it down? What do I do with it? So we're
going to take ownership of it. It's not ours, it
doesn't belong to us. Well, and do you think Imas
is just gonna hand it over? Oh? By the way,
(33:12):
President Trump, remember the people that busted through the fence
and murdered Israeli citizens when they were just having a
Sunday morning social gathering. What are you gonna do with them?
You think they're gonna leave? I mean what, I don't
under I don't get it. And it makes sense that
(33:38):
he gets along with Natanya who because they both have
the same type of personalities, very bravado, very aggressive. So
I see why Natanya who said that, you know, Trump's
the greatest president ever, they feel the same way. Just
bulldoze everybody. I couldn't believe what he said, that what
(33:59):
are we We're gonna take a some of the guys
a strip, Let's just take it over, like he's gonna
put up one of his retail properties. It's unbelievable. And
then of course now Musk he's still running around pissing
(34:23):
people off, and somebody on his staff allegedly has access
to the federal payroll system. You gotta be careful here, folks.
Are these people that proved the people on Musk's staff,
have they cleared? Have they gone through a security clearance?
Are you looking at social Security numbers of government employees?
(34:44):
Are you looking at addresses? Are you looking at family information?
Are you looking at household incomes? Because Musk has some
twenty five year old intern that just wants to come
in and take a look at the numbers. Have these
people been cleared? I mean, these are the things that
are through my mind. And I can appreciate the theory
of let's make the government more efficient, I really can,
(35:06):
because we all know that there's too much fat. There
always has been, there always will be, and sometimes you
have to spend more to help some people. You know,
it's never going to be perfect. But then he wants
to then he just wants to do away with depart Like,
just do away with departments. That's it. Just wipe it out,
(35:32):
just say yeah, we don't need this anymore. Boom, you know,
just you gotta slow down a little bit. I'm all
for being efficient, I really am, and I can appreciate it.
But you know, the Department of Education which I didn't.
(35:53):
I thought it had long been established well before nineteen seventy nine.
I was surprised. They held people in lower income areas,
They help students with disabilities, They manage financial aid. Did
you get financial aid to go to college? I got
a little bit, good Old University of Maine. I mean,
it wasn't a time my dad worked. My mom didn't.
(36:14):
He worked in a mill did okay, But yeah, we
got some help. Every little bit helped. So are you
just going to wipe that out? I mean so okay.
If you wipe out the Department of Education, the financial aid,
that's the thing that worries me. There will be people
that can't afford to go to college. Now, if you
want to tell me there's some way that you can
(36:34):
lower the price of college, I'm all for it, because
I'm paying tuition right now for two It's crazy. We've
done topics on this. The cost of post secondary education
is high way robbery. It's not worth it. For the
(36:54):
most part, across the country, the education that college students
get is not worth the money. They have to get loans.
They can't afford to pay them off when they get out.
The jobs aren't there, and certainly the income isn't there.
So let's just get rid of the Department of Education
and we'll get rid of all those student loans and
(37:16):
financial assistance. Let's just do that. Or what about students
who cannot walk and there are schools that need financial
help to put in elevators or in buses, or for
those that are hearing impaired or sightless. It's just not
(37:37):
that easy. You can still be fiscally responsible and compassionate.
It's not either or doesn't have to be, just doesn't
have to be. Lower your electricity prices. You know what
I tell the kids, Put on a sweater, Put on
a sweat, and turn down the heat that's coming up.
An next Towbz's night side
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