April 14, 2025 • 12 mins
By refusing to engage in your ex's breadcrumbs, you show self respect, deny your ex validation and force them to confront their true intentions. Dating/relationship expert Lucia breaks down why ignoring insignificant messages is a silent power move that puts you back in control.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
What happens when you ignore bread crumbs or as I call them,
insignificant messages from yourex?
A lot of people who are in no contact have a problem not
responding when their ex reachesout, no matter what the ex says.
And in fact, there was a commentrecently and he had been
(00:22):
responding to his ex for nine months.
And I said, oh, you shouldn't have done that.
I mean, she's still not back. And he said, well, I don't like
ignoring people completely. Nobody likes that.
Hello. That's the idea.
Of course nobody likes to be ignored.
That's why we're ignoring them. Obviously some of you have never
(00:45):
left someone on Red. You've never ignored someone.
You know, you might want to try it sometime.
It's really not as bad as you think.
You might be surprised at the results.
Your ex will definitely not be expecting you to ignore their
reach out no matter how low effort their text is.
(01:08):
They could have bet their life on it that you would definitely
respond and me more than happy to text back or to call back as
soon as possible. Your ex thought they had all the
power. They thought you'd be
predictable. Like most XS, they didn't know
you joined the no contact Army and hell no, we're not doing
(01:32):
that. So what happens when you ignore
bread crumbs a lot? Stay tuned and you'll find out.
Hi, this is Lucia with the Art of Love.
I am a dating and relationship expert specializing in helping
you get your ex back or to get over your ex.
And welcome back my beautiful noContact Army.
(01:54):
Have you been a good little soldier?
Well, if you have, then you've downloaded my app Silencio to
help you stay in no contact. And the link to that is
underneath every single video and podcast.
And if you too would like to join our no Contact Army, all
you have to do is hit the subscribe button and the bell
notification and you're in. And to read our manual, go to
(02:17):
nocontactsecrets.com, where you can read 2 free chapters before
you purchase the book. So let's define breadcrumbing.
Breadcrumbing is the art of leading someone on and giving
false hope that you're interested in a relationship or
that you're interested in getting back together.
(02:38):
And a breadcrumb is not determined by the length of the
text. Just because your ex sends you a
long text, it doesn't mean it's significant.
It could just be a bunch of superficial stuff that doesn't
need a response. One of my clients got a very
long e-mail, but it was all insignificant.
Just giving him information on, oh, well, you know, I've been
(03:02):
doing this and my son did this and this and that and that, you
know, nothing that needed him torespond.
And so I told him, don't respond.
And what do you know? Within a week, she reached out
again and said something significant.
Ignoring bread crumbs strikes again and I've done a video on
(03:23):
which specific texts from your ex to ignore because XS are, if
nothing else, predictable. They pretty much all say the
same things, so I'll put the link to that in the upper right
hand corner on YouTube. So we only respond to
significant texts, meaning that they are expressing regret,
apologizing and or saying they made a mistake and they want to
(03:48):
talk. The tone needs to be humble and
vulnerable. So what happens when you ignore
bread crumbs from your ex? Many interesting things happen.
First of all, as I said, they thought that you would be
responding right away. Now they see you're not
responding and they thought theywould have access to you at any
(04:10):
time. So now they want their access
back and access denied. You're not going to respond to
just any little message that they send next.
They might think you're angry, but guess what?
They don't know for sure. Maybe you are, or maybe you're
(04:32):
indifferent. Maybe you don't care.
Maybe you've moved on. Who knows?
They'll think that you've moved on, actually, and even though
they may not want you, they don't necessarily want someone
else to have you, at least not right now.
So they'll get competitive if they think that there's someone
(04:53):
else. But it's too early to pull the
jealousy card until at least 30 days have gone by, depending on
how long you guys dated. Preferably 60 days, because
otherwise they'll think you're doing it on purpose to make them
jealous. So it'll backfire or you'll
think that you were cheating in the relationship and that there
(05:15):
was someone else all along. And I've made a video on what
happens if they think that you've moved on because I know a
lot of you are afraid that Oh no, they won't text me again.
They won't reach out again if they think I've moved on.
As usual with dating and gettingX back, it's the total opposite.
So I'll post the link to that inthe other right right hand
(05:37):
corner on YouTube. They may think that you're
playing games, but hey, they canthink that all they want.
They don't know for sure unless you tell them, which I don't
know why you would. They won't know what to think,
especially if you had never ignored a message from them in
(05:59):
your life. They may even think something
happened to you. It's like Oh my God, I thought
for sure they'd respond. I hope they're OK.
They may call you from a different number or text you
from a different number. If they figure out that you are
ignoring them on purpose, if they weren't already, they'll
(06:19):
start stalking your socials. They want to see what the heck
you're up to, that you're suddenly able to ignore them
even though they dumped you and you didn't want them to.
Now obviously their ego will be hurt.
Good. And I've done a video on that
topic about the fact that you have to hurt your ex in order to
(06:43):
get them back. So I will put the link to that
in the upper right hand corner. They may show up at your door.
It's happened. I've heard of several people who
had exes show up at the door when they weren't responding.
They may show up at your work. If for some reason they can't
show up at your door at home, they may contact your family to
(07:06):
find out what's going on. They may contact your friends.
See, you thought that nothing was going to happen if you
didn't respond to bread crumbs. As you can see, a lot is going
on and there's more. But first, before I continue, I
wanted to mention that 65% of people who listen to me are not
(07:27):
subscribed. So I want to ask you a favor and
that is if my videos have ever helped you in any way and you
want to give something back, then just hit the subscribe
button and I will continue to make videos that will be
helpful, hopefully and interesting in order to help you
get your ex back. Thank you.
(07:50):
They will be incredulous, meaning they won't believe it.
They'll wonder if they texted the wrong number or called the
wrong number. It's like what?
What do you mean they're not responding?
What the heck is going on? They will start to get anxious
if they have an anxious or an anxious avoidant attachment
style. So this is how you can use their
(08:10):
attachment style against them bygetting them anxious because
people act out of character whenthey're anxious, as you well
know. If you're anxious, they will
double, triple and quadruple text you, but it doesn't matter.
Do not respond if it's not significant.
(08:31):
They'll call you 5678 times in arow, and that's usually when
people break. They're like, well, well, I had
to respond. They called me a bunch of times,
so I don't care. They need to leave a message and
yeah, it needs to be significant.
I don't care if they call 100 times in a row.
They're trying to bully you intoresponding.
(08:52):
Turn off the ringer temporarily block them, but don't think, oh,
I got to respond. Maybe something happened.
No, I can guarantee you 99.99999% of the time nothing
happened except they're getting anxious that you didn't respond
OK. However, none of these things
(09:12):
can happen. If you respond to bread crumbs,
you will lose the power of ignoring insignificant messages.
If you respond, all you're doingis letting them know you're
still there for them and they have nothing to worry about.
You've taken away mystery, doubt, and any anxiety they were
(09:35):
feeling. It's like, Yep, she's still
there, he's still there, nothingto worry about.
Let me see what else is out here.
And by the way, do not call themout on the bread crumbs and say,
well, if you're not going to sayanything significant, if you're
going to breadcrumb me, then don't contact me.
(09:57):
Shut up. You will have broken no contact
for no good reason and you will have just shown them that you're
still very interested and waiting for them to show more
interest. Trust me, if they're truly
interested and you don't respondto their bread crumbs, they will
(10:19):
put in the effort and escalate and say something more
significant. Now I know there's going to be
some people who are going to say, well, I never heard from my
ex after the breakup. I wish I'd gotten a breadcrumb,
but I got nothing. So to that I would say, well,
you never know. They may still pop up.
However, if they don't, then just know that they were done.
(10:43):
Done for whatever reason. Maybe they found someone else.
Maybe they weren't that interested to begin with.
Maybe there have been other breakups between the two of you
and this was the last straw. But as I've said before, 90% of
people will at least hear from their ex, even if it's just a
breadcrumb. So if you don't hear from them,
(11:08):
understand that if there is someone out there who's better
for them than you, that means there's someone out there who is
better for you than them. And I know that may be hard to
accept right now, but as time goes on, you'll eventually see
that things did work out for thebest.
So now I want to hear from you. What type of bread crumbs has
(11:32):
your ex sent you and what did they say?
I guess that's the same question.
What did they say in the breadcrumb?
OK, and if you would like my help to get your ex back, you
can contact me at theartoflove.net/coaching and we
will send you the rates. They are not on the website and
the direct link to that is underneath every single video
(11:53):
and podcast. If you found this video helpful,
please like, subscribe, and share.
If you're listening to this as apodcast and want to help the
show, then please download this episode and remember, love
inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.
What happens when you ignore bread crumbs or as I call them,
insignificant messages from yourex?
A lot of people who are in no contact have a problem not
responding when their ex reachesout, no matter what the ex says.
And in fact, there was a commentrecently and he had been
(00:22):
responding to his ex for nine months.
And I said, oh, you shouldn't have done that.
I mean, she's still not back. And he said, well, I don't like
ignoring people completely. Nobody likes that.
Hello. That's the idea.
Of course nobody likes to be ignored.
That's why we're ignoring them. Obviously some of you have never
(00:45):
left someone on Red. You've never ignored someone.
You know, you might want to try it sometime.
It's really not as bad as you think.
You might be surprised at the results.
Your ex will definitely not be expecting you to ignore their
reach out no matter how low effort their text is.
(01:08):
They could have bet their life on it that you would definitely
respond and me more than happy to text back or to call back as
soon as possible. Your ex thought they had all the
power. They thought you'd be
predictable. Like most XS, they didn't know
you joined the no contact Army and hell no, we're not doing
(01:32):
that. So what happens when you ignore
bread crumbs a lot? Stay tuned and you'll find out.
Hi, this is Lucia with the Art of Love.
I am a dating and relationship expert specializing in helping
you get your ex back or to get over your ex.
And welcome back my beautiful noContact Army.
(01:54):
Have you been a good little soldier?
Well, if you have, then you've downloaded my app Silencio to
help you stay in no contact. And the link to that is
underneath every single video and podcast.
And if you too would like to join our no Contact Army, all
you have to do is hit the subscribe button and the bell
notification and you're in. And to read our manual, go to
(02:17):
nocontactsecrets.com, where you can read 2 free chapters before
you purchase the book. So let's define breadcrumbing.
Breadcrumbing is the art of leading someone on and giving
false hope that you're interested in a relationship or
that you're interested in getting back together.
(02:38):
And a breadcrumb is not determined by the length of the
text. Just because your ex sends you a
long text, it doesn't mean it's significant.
It could just be a bunch of superficial stuff that doesn't
need a response. One of my clients got a very
long e-mail, but it was all insignificant.
Just giving him information on, oh, well, you know, I've been
(03:02):
doing this and my son did this and this and that and that, you
know, nothing that needed him torespond.
And so I told him, don't respond.
And what do you know? Within a week, she reached out
again and said something significant.
Ignoring bread crumbs strikes again and I've done a video on
(03:23):
which specific texts from your ex to ignore because XS are, if
nothing else, predictable. They pretty much all say the
same things, so I'll put the link to that in the upper right
hand corner on YouTube. So we only respond to
significant texts, meaning that they are expressing regret,
apologizing and or saying they made a mistake and they want to
(03:48):
talk. The tone needs to be humble and
vulnerable. So what happens when you ignore
bread crumbs from your ex? Many interesting things happen.
First of all, as I said, they thought that you would be
responding right away. Now they see you're not
responding and they thought theywould have access to you at any
(04:10):
time. So now they want their access
back and access denied. You're not going to respond to
just any little message that they send next.
They might think you're angry, but guess what?
They don't know for sure. Maybe you are, or maybe you're
(04:32):
indifferent. Maybe you don't care.
Maybe you've moved on. Who knows?
They'll think that you've moved on, actually, and even though
they may not want you, they don't necessarily want someone
else to have you, at least not right now.
So they'll get competitive if they think that there's someone
(04:53):
else. But it's too early to pull the
jealousy card until at least 30 days have gone by, depending on
how long you guys dated. Preferably 60 days, because
otherwise they'll think you're doing it on purpose to make them
jealous. So it'll backfire or you'll
think that you were cheating in the relationship and that there
(05:15):
was someone else all along. And I've made a video on what
happens if they think that you've moved on because I know a
lot of you are afraid that Oh no, they won't text me again.
They won't reach out again if they think I've moved on.
As usual with dating and gettingX back, it's the total opposite.
So I'll post the link to that inthe other right right hand
(05:37):
corner on YouTube. They may think that you're
playing games, but hey, they canthink that all they want.
They don't know for sure unless you tell them, which I don't
know why you would. They won't know what to think,
especially if you had never ignored a message from them in
(05:59):
your life. They may even think something
happened to you. It's like Oh my God, I thought
for sure they'd respond. I hope they're OK.
They may call you from a different number or text you
from a different number. If they figure out that you are
ignoring them on purpose, if they weren't already, they'll
(06:19):
start stalking your socials. They want to see what the heck
you're up to, that you're suddenly able to ignore them
even though they dumped you and you didn't want them to.
Now obviously their ego will be hurt.
Good. And I've done a video on that
topic about the fact that you have to hurt your ex in order to
(06:43):
get them back. So I will put the link to that
in the upper right hand corner. They may show up at your door.
It's happened. I've heard of several people who
had exes show up at the door when they weren't responding.
They may show up at your work. If for some reason they can't
show up at your door at home, they may contact your family to
(07:06):
find out what's going on. They may contact your friends.
See, you thought that nothing was going to happen if you
didn't respond to bread crumbs. As you can see, a lot is going
on and there's more. But first, before I continue, I
wanted to mention that 65% of people who listen to me are not
(07:27):
subscribed. So I want to ask you a favor and
that is if my videos have ever helped you in any way and you
want to give something back, then just hit the subscribe
button and I will continue to make videos that will be
helpful, hopefully and interesting in order to help you
get your ex back. Thank you.
(07:50):
They will be incredulous, meaning they won't believe it.
They'll wonder if they texted the wrong number or called the
wrong number. It's like what?
What do you mean they're not responding?
What the heck is going on? They will start to get anxious
if they have an anxious or an anxious avoidant attachment
style. So this is how you can use their
(08:10):
attachment style against them bygetting them anxious because
people act out of character whenthey're anxious, as you well
know. If you're anxious, they will
double, triple and quadruple text you, but it doesn't matter.
Do not respond if it's not significant.
(08:31):
They'll call you 5678 times in arow, and that's usually when
people break. They're like, well, well, I had
to respond. They called me a bunch of times,
so I don't care. They need to leave a message and
yeah, it needs to be significant.
I don't care if they call 100 times in a row.
They're trying to bully you intoresponding.
(08:52):
Turn off the ringer temporarily block them, but don't think, oh,
I got to respond. Maybe something happened.
No, I can guarantee you 99.99999% of the time nothing
happened except they're getting anxious that you didn't respond
OK. However, none of these things
(09:12):
can happen. If you respond to bread crumbs,
you will lose the power of ignoring insignificant messages.
If you respond, all you're doingis letting them know you're
still there for them and they have nothing to worry about.
You've taken away mystery, doubt, and any anxiety they were
(09:35):
feeling. It's like, Yep, she's still
there, he's still there, nothingto worry about.
Let me see what else is out here.
And by the way, do not call themout on the bread crumbs and say,
well, if you're not going to sayanything significant, if you're
going to breadcrumb me, then don't contact me.
(09:57):
Shut up. You will have broken no contact
for no good reason and you will have just shown them that you're
still very interested and waiting for them to show more
interest. Trust me, if they're truly
interested and you don't respondto their bread crumbs, they will
(10:19):
put in the effort and escalate and say something more
significant. Now I know there's going to be
some people who are going to say, well, I never heard from my
ex after the breakup. I wish I'd gotten a breadcrumb,
but I got nothing. So to that I would say, well,
you never know. They may still pop up.
However, if they don't, then just know that they were done.
(10:43):
Done for whatever reason. Maybe they found someone else.
Maybe they weren't that interested to begin with.
Maybe there have been other breakups between the two of you
and this was the last straw. But as I've said before, 90% of
people will at least hear from their ex, even if it's just a
breadcrumb. So if you don't hear from them,
(11:08):
understand that if there is someone out there who's better
for them than you, that means there's someone out there who is
better for you than them. And I know that may be hard to
accept right now, but as time goes on, you'll eventually see
that things did work out for thebest.
So now I want to hear from you. What type of bread crumbs has
(11:32):
your ex sent you and what did they say?
I guess that's the same question.
What did they say in the breadcrumb?
OK, and if you would like my help to get your ex back, you
can contact me at theartoflove.net/coaching and we
will send you the rates. They are not on the website and
the direct link to that is underneath every single video
(11:53):
and podcast. If you found this video helpful,
please like, subscribe, and share.
If you're listening to this as apodcast and want to help the
show, then please download this episode and remember, love
inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.
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