May 5, 2025 • 8 mins
What happens when your ex thinks you've moved on and don't care anymore? This is a crucial moment that will change their attitude towards you. Dating/relationship expert Lucia shares the shocking outcome of having your ex think you've stopped caring.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:01):
What if I told you the best way to get your ex back is to let
them think you don't care? Sounds crazy, right?
But here's a twist. When your ex believes you've
moved on, something wild happensin their brain.
And if you ever begged, pleaded,or stalked their Instagram at
(00:21):
2:00 AM, you need to hear this. Most people panic after a
breakup. If my ex thinks I don't care,
they'll forget about me forever.But here's the truth.
Love isn't logical, and in fact,the less you chase, the harder
(00:41):
they'll question their decision.And today, I'm revealing exactly
what happens when your ex thinksyou don't care anymore.
Hi, this is Lucia with The Art of Love.
I'm a dating and relationship expert specializing in helping
you get your ex back or to get over your ex.
And welcome back my beautiful nocontact army.
If you haven't already, be sure to download my app Silencio to
(01:04):
help you stay in no contact. And the link for that is
underneath every single video and podcast.
So before I start, I want to clear something up.
The title of this video or podcast can be taken two ways.
The first way is that you don't care anymore about what happens
to you because you're so upset about the breakup.
(01:28):
So you may start drinking excessively, letting yourself
go, not sleeping, not eating or eating too much, posting on
social media about being depressed, etcetera.
That is not the type of not caring I'm referring to.
If this is you, you must absolutely, 100% make sure your
ex does not find out that this is what you're going through, as
(01:52):
it will not, I repeat NOT help your chances of getting your ex
back. They're not going to come back
out of pity, and if anything, itmay even push them further away.
What I'm referring to is that you don't care about the ending
of the relationship, that you'regoing to carry on and continue
(02:15):
to live your best life. So what happens when your ex
sees this? Well, first, they're going to
relax and not be defensive if you have any interactions with
them since they're not worried about you trying to talk them
into coming back or trying to get them back.
When you leave them alone and use the no contact rule, they no
(02:39):
longer have to be defensive because they're no longer
fighting to maintain the breakup.
And when you do this, they get out of the relief stage sooner,
which I talk about in my video about the stages that a dumper
goes through. And I'll post the link in the
upper right hand corner on YouTube if you're interested.
(03:00):
Next, you're no longer seen as an enemy.
As I've mentioned several times in other videos, a breakup is
like a declaration of war. Your ex doesn't want you in
their life, at least not romantically, and you want to be
in their life romantically. So when you have two opposing
sides fighting, that's a war. Once they see that you're no
(03:25):
longer on the opposite side, you're no longer trying to be in
their life romantically, they'lllet their guard down.
When they see that you're not fighting for them, they can stop
trying to get away from you. It doesn't mean they'll start
running towards you, at least not right away.
(03:45):
But at least they'll stop tryingto get away from you.
Next, you preserve your dignity and you may not care about that
now, but down the road, no matter what happens, whether you
get back together or not, you'regoing to be happy that you did
by walking away and not begging,pleading, or making grand
(04:06):
gestures that usually don't workanyway.
Bombarding them with texts or phone calls, crying, showing up
at their house or their job. By not doing those things, you
instantly become more attractivebecause you're maintaining your
dignity through a difficult situation.
(04:27):
Otherwise, they're going to feelvery justified their decision
and think, thank God I got away from this person.
They're unstable. Everyone admires someone who can
be strong in the face of an apparent defeat.
Their respect for you will go upand that's the beginning of
reattraction because you cannot have love without respect.
(04:47):
And by the way, if you'd like more help with no contact, go to
nocontactsecrets.com or you can download my book and the link to
that is underneath every single video and podcast.
Years ago I had been dating thisguy for a few months and I
wasn't happy about some things. So I tried to break up with him.
And I say tried because when I told him I wanted to break up,
(05:11):
he immediately accepted it and said I understand.
I want you to be happy. And if you're not happy, then I
don't want to be in the way. Well, that immediately melted my
defenses and suddenly I didn't want to break up anymore.
Something else that happens whenit seems that you don't care
about the breakup is you become more attractive.
(05:33):
In other words, your ex's interest in you goes up.
And if you've heard me talk about interest level before, you
know that on a scale of one to 100, when someone's interest
level in you is below 50, that'swhen they break break up with
you. They were turned off and they
think they can do better. So by leaving them alone,
(05:57):
they're going to think that you're over it.
When you don't chase and beg. You look confident since most
people who are dumped do exactlythat.
And this leads to them making all kinds of assumptions such as
you have other options. You weren't that interested to
begin with. Maybe you were even thinking of
(06:17):
breaking up with them and could they even get you back if they
changed their mind? And that's when they begin to
get curious. And you definitely need for your
ex to get curious because that'swhen they start to move towards
you rather than being at a standstill or trying to get away
from you. They're going to have a lot of
unanswered questions and as the late great Doc Love would always
(06:41):
say, that question mark becomes a hook which hooks them in.
And Doc Love is also the person who I first learned about
interest level from. So if you want more of Doc
Love's wisdom, I have the link to his book underneath every
single video. Now if their relationship was 1
sided and you were the only one chasing, reaching out, showing a
(07:04):
lot of interest in your partner,this will rewire that unbalanced
dynamic. When they break up with you and
it seems that you don't care, itwill definitely impact them.
They could have sworn you were going to keep chasing even
though they dumped you. Well why wouldn't you?
(07:25):
You were doing it in the relationship, so why wouldn't
you be doing it post relationship?
Now they're seeing a side of youthey hadn't seen before and it's
going to make them question their decision to break up with
you. So flip the tables on them and
show them that you respect yourself too much to chase after
they dumped you. The more respect you have for
(07:48):
yourself, the more respect they're going to have for you.
And by the way, if you're serious about getting your ex
back, you can book one-on-one coaching with me at
theartoflove.net/coaching and the direct link is underneath
every video and podcast. Something else that happens when
your ex sees that you don't careanymore is that you come across
(08:10):
as strong and not needy. If you were weak and needy in
the relationship, this is going to create what's called
cognitive dissonance, which is amental discomfort that's
experienced when a person holds 2 opposing beliefs.
They believed you were weak and needy, but now they see that
(08:31):
you're strong and not needy. That's when the magic happens.
This is the beginning of them wondering if perhaps they made a
mistake in breaking up with you.They can't change their mind
about dumping you until they start to question their decision
to dump you in the 1st place. Now I want to hear from you.
(08:51):
How long have you been in no contact and how's it going?
What if I told you the best way to get your ex back is to let
them think you don't care? Sounds crazy, right?
But here's a twist. When your ex believes you've
moved on, something wild happensin their brain.
And if you ever begged, pleaded,or stalked their Instagram at
(00:21):
2:00 AM, you need to hear this. Most people panic after a
breakup. If my ex thinks I don't care,
they'll forget about me forever.But here's the truth.
Love isn't logical, and in fact,the less you chase, the harder
(00:41):
they'll question their decision.And today, I'm revealing exactly
what happens when your ex thinksyou don't care anymore.
Hi, this is Lucia with The Art of Love.
I'm a dating and relationship expert specializing in helping
you get your ex back or to get over your ex.
And welcome back my beautiful nocontact army.
If you haven't already, be sure to download my app Silencio to
(01:04):
help you stay in no contact. And the link for that is
underneath every single video and podcast.
So before I start, I want to clear something up.
The title of this video or podcast can be taken two ways.
The first way is that you don't care anymore about what happens
to you because you're so upset about the breakup.
(01:28):
So you may start drinking excessively, letting yourself
go, not sleeping, not eating or eating too much, posting on
social media about being depressed, etcetera.
That is not the type of not caring I'm referring to.
If this is you, you must absolutely, 100% make sure your
ex does not find out that this is what you're going through, as
(01:52):
it will not, I repeat NOT help your chances of getting your ex
back. They're not going to come back
out of pity, and if anything, itmay even push them further away.
What I'm referring to is that you don't care about the ending
of the relationship, that you'regoing to carry on and continue
(02:15):
to live your best life. So what happens when your ex
sees this? Well, first, they're going to
relax and not be defensive if you have any interactions with
them since they're not worried about you trying to talk them
into coming back or trying to get them back.
When you leave them alone and use the no contact rule, they no
(02:39):
longer have to be defensive because they're no longer
fighting to maintain the breakup.
And when you do this, they get out of the relief stage sooner,
which I talk about in my video about the stages that a dumper
goes through. And I'll post the link in the
upper right hand corner on YouTube if you're interested.
(03:00):
Next, you're no longer seen as an enemy.
As I've mentioned several times in other videos, a breakup is
like a declaration of war. Your ex doesn't want you in
their life, at least not romantically, and you want to be
in their life romantically. So when you have two opposing
sides fighting, that's a war. Once they see that you're no
(03:25):
longer on the opposite side, you're no longer trying to be in
their life romantically, they'lllet their guard down.
When they see that you're not fighting for them, they can stop
trying to get away from you. It doesn't mean they'll start
running towards you, at least not right away.
(03:45):
But at least they'll stop tryingto get away from you.
Next, you preserve your dignity and you may not care about that
now, but down the road, no matter what happens, whether you
get back together or not, you'regoing to be happy that you did
by walking away and not begging,pleading, or making grand
(04:06):
gestures that usually don't workanyway.
Bombarding them with texts or phone calls, crying, showing up
at their house or their job. By not doing those things, you
instantly become more attractivebecause you're maintaining your
dignity through a difficult situation.
(04:27):
Otherwise, they're going to feelvery justified their decision
and think, thank God I got away from this person.
They're unstable. Everyone admires someone who can
be strong in the face of an apparent defeat.
Their respect for you will go upand that's the beginning of
reattraction because you cannot have love without respect.
(04:47):
And by the way, if you'd like more help with no contact, go to
nocontactsecrets.com or you can download my book and the link to
that is underneath every single video and podcast.
Years ago I had been dating thisguy for a few months and I
wasn't happy about some things. So I tried to break up with him.
And I say tried because when I told him I wanted to break up,
(05:11):
he immediately accepted it and said I understand.
I want you to be happy. And if you're not happy, then I
don't want to be in the way. Well, that immediately melted my
defenses and suddenly I didn't want to break up anymore.
Something else that happens whenit seems that you don't care
about the breakup is you become more attractive.
(05:33):
In other words, your ex's interest in you goes up.
And if you've heard me talk about interest level before, you
know that on a scale of one to 100, when someone's interest
level in you is below 50, that'swhen they break break up with
you. They were turned off and they
think they can do better. So by leaving them alone,
(05:57):
they're going to think that you're over it.
When you don't chase and beg. You look confident since most
people who are dumped do exactlythat.
And this leads to them making all kinds of assumptions such as
you have other options. You weren't that interested to
begin with. Maybe you were even thinking of
(06:17):
breaking up with them and could they even get you back if they
changed their mind? And that's when they begin to
get curious. And you definitely need for your
ex to get curious because that'swhen they start to move towards
you rather than being at a standstill or trying to get away
from you. They're going to have a lot of
unanswered questions and as the late great Doc Love would always
(06:41):
say, that question mark becomes a hook which hooks them in.
And Doc Love is also the person who I first learned about
interest level from. So if you want more of Doc
Love's wisdom, I have the link to his book underneath every
single video. Now if their relationship was 1
sided and you were the only one chasing, reaching out, showing a
(07:04):
lot of interest in your partner,this will rewire that unbalanced
dynamic. When they break up with you and
it seems that you don't care, itwill definitely impact them.
They could have sworn you were going to keep chasing even
though they dumped you. Well why wouldn't you?
(07:25):
You were doing it in the relationship, so why wouldn't
you be doing it post relationship?
Now they're seeing a side of youthey hadn't seen before and it's
going to make them question their decision to break up with
you. So flip the tables on them and
show them that you respect yourself too much to chase after
they dumped you. The more respect you have for
(07:48):
yourself, the more respect they're going to have for you.
And by the way, if you're serious about getting your ex
back, you can book one-on-one coaching with me at
theartoflove.net/coaching and the direct link is underneath
every video and podcast. Something else that happens when
your ex sees that you don't careanymore is that you come across
(08:10):
as strong and not needy. If you were weak and needy in
the relationship, this is going to create what's called
cognitive dissonance, which is amental discomfort that's
experienced when a person holds 2 opposing beliefs.
They believed you were weak and needy, but now they see that
(08:31):
you're strong and not needy. That's when the magic happens.
This is the beginning of them wondering if perhaps they made a
mistake in breaking up with you.They can't change their mind
about dumping you until they start to question their decision
to dump you in the 1st place. Now I want to hear from you.
(08:51):
How long have you been in no contact and how's it going?
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