February 3, 2025 • 10 mins
What happens when your ex finally feels your loss after dumping you? Will they immediately contact you and say they want you back? Dating/relationship expert Lucia shares what to expect after you've been dumped and you go into no contact.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
What happens when your ex realizes you're not going to beg
them after the breakup? You're not going to chase them,
you're not going to stalk them, Maybe you're even moving on.
Well, stay tuned and you'll findout.
Hi, this is Lucia with The Art of Love.
I'm a dating and relationship expert specializing in helping
(00:20):
you get your ex back or to get over your ex.
And welcome back my beautiful noContact Army.
Have you been a good little soldier?
If you have and you've downloaded my app Silencio to
help you stay in no contact. And the link to that is
underneath every single video and podcast.
And if you would like to join our no Contact Army and read the
(00:42):
manual, just go to nocontactsecrets.com where you
can read 2 free chapters before you purchase the book.
So before I start, I want to mention something that's been on
my mind for a while. 65% of people who listen to me are not
subscribed. Yeah, I'm shocked.
So if I could ask you a favor, and that is if my videos have
(01:05):
ever helped you in any way and you want to give something back,
please hit the subscribe button and I promise that I will
continue to work hard to put outinteresting and helpful videos
so that you will have a better chance of getting your ex back.
Thank you. OK, so when you go into no
contact after being dumped and you leave your ex alone, you
(01:28):
give them the gift of experiencing the real breakup.
They know it's not a fake breakup in the sense that you're
going to be chasing them. So they got what they wanted and
you're totally gone. You're totally out of there.
You're not bugging them, you're not pleading with them.
You're not texting them late at night.
(01:50):
You're not asking to be friends.You're not asking foreclosure.
You're not texting them with theexcuse of asking, oh, what was
the name of that restaurant we went to that one time.
You're not showing up where you know they'll be.
You're not giving them googly eyes or sad puppy dog eyes if
you work with them or go to school with them.
(02:11):
You're not asking them to reconsider for the sake of the
kids. You are doing absolutely
nothing. And when you do these things,
the breakup becomes real real fast.
And I know you're going to be asking yes, but they wanted the
breakup. Well, as I met talked about in
my first video actually about getting an X back titled How to
(02:35):
easily get your X back, and I'llput the link in the upper right
hand corner on YouTube, people are rarely 100% certain about a
breakup. They're at least 51% certain.
Otherwise they wouldn't have broken up with you.
But they're still a part of themthat's uncertain.
(02:59):
So even if it's 49% of them is uncertain, or if they were 70%
certain about the breakup, there's still that 30 part, 30%
part that isn't certain. See.
So by not doing all of those things that I just mentioned,
you're going to play on that 30%or that 49 percent or whatever
(03:24):
it is. Plus, most jumpers have the
arrogance of thinking that sincethey're the one doing the
breaking up and you're not the one to initiate it, you'll be
more than happy to take them back if they change their mind.
But let's disabuse them of that notion, shall we?
They made their bed and now theyhave to lay in it because you
(03:45):
are not chasing them by leaving them alone and disappearing.
You show them that if they want you back, they are going to have
to reach out and make it happen because you sure as hell are not
going to be the one to do that. This is why you have to stay in
no contact because otherwise if you give them any type of spoken
(04:10):
or unspoken message that you want them back, they will be
waiting on you to make another move.
If they change their mind, they'll be thinking, yeah, they
don't want the break up. They begged and pleaded.
So I'll just wait for them to hit me up again and then I'll
mention possibly getting back together.
But see, by doing absolutely nothing, you're making it very
(04:30):
clear that if they want you back, it's up to them to make it
happen. You're not doing anything and
their interest level in you willstart to go up because they
thought that they were the prizeand they could do better than
you. That's why they broke up.
(04:52):
I know it's hard to hear, but that's the reason why most
breakups happen. People lose attraction and their
interest level goes down. But now by being mysterious and
leaving them alone and not chasing them, as their interest
level goes up, so does their attraction level.
You'll start to become more attractive just by doing
(05:14):
nothing. See you don't have to do
anything. And people find it so hard to
believe. It's like how do you get your ex
back? Just do nothing?
What so if you didn't stop your life and then get if you
accepted the breakup? If you didn't stop your life and
(05:35):
try to get them back, you're obviously not as low value as
they thought you were. You obviously must have
confidence and feel that you have other options since you're
leaving them alone. You must be more valuable than
they thought you were. And this is one of the main
reasons why chasing an ex after a breakup is so bad.
(05:57):
You're basically saying I can't do better than you.
I don't have a lot of options. Because if you did have options
and if you could do better than them, you probably would not be
chasing them. So you know who wants to be with
someone who doesn't have options, right?
Nobody. It's unattractive.
(06:18):
And even if someone does come back because you begged them, it
will usually be because of guiltand it will be short lived.
Once they remember the reason orreasons for breaking up with
you, they will leave again. That's why people have to decide
on their own that they made a mistake and want to come back,
(06:39):
not because you begged them to come back.
So please have some dignity because otherwise there's a good
chance you will get the pet cemetery version of them.
As I mentioned in another video whose title always escapes me.
Now you're probably thinking, well if I just give them the
break up and disappear, won't that make it easier for them to
move on and find someone else? No, as I've said many times,
(07:05):
when it comes to matters of the heart, logic does not apply.
People do not date logically. Well except for me haha.
They date with their emotions and emotions do not have an IQ.
So when you do the opposite of what they expected, not only are
(07:26):
they curious as to what the heckis going on, as I talked about
in my video last week titled exactly what your ex is feeling
when you disappear and do no contact.
And I'll put the link in the upper right hand corner.
You've also heard their ego. They were at least expecting a
bit of resistance from you. And when they get little or
(07:49):
none, they're going to wonder why.
At the very least, they're goingto try to get an ego stroke from
you. And this is when they start
trying to get you to break no contact.
And of course, I have a video onthat and I'll put the link in
the upper right hand corner. So they couldn't predict your
next move because you're not making any moves.
(08:10):
So they're going to try to get you to show that you're at least
somewhat interested. But of course, you're listening
to me. So you won't be doing anything
until they send you a significant message.
And the beautiful thing about this is that since they're so
focused on you, they're going tobe less focused on moving on or
(08:32):
dating other people. See how that works?
They're going to be wondering like, what the heck is going on?
So they're not going to be as interested in moving on because
they're going to be focused on you.
Otherwise. You've actually made it easier
for them to move on if you stay in touch or try to get them back
because they know that as they're out there meeting new
(08:54):
people, if they can't find a replacement, well, at least they
got you as the backup plan. And this is one of the many
reasons that we don't respond tobread crumbs.
And finally, I want to say that the great thing about no contact
is that it turns the table on the dumper and gives back
strength and confidence to the dumpee.
(09:17):
You actually hold the power whenyou do no contact.
You have the power to not give them any attention and let them
sit there with their thoughts about whether dumping you was
the right thing to do or not. Do not give up that power.
Stay in no contact. OK, so now I want to hear from
you. How long have you been in no
(09:40):
contact and how is it going? And if you would like my help to
get your ex back, you can contact me at theartoflove.net
and we will send you the rates. They are not on the website and
the direct link to that is underneath every single video
and podcast. And I am available seven days a
week, 16 hours a day to help youwith getting your ex back.
(10:04):
So don't worry about the time difference or anything.
I am here for you. And if you found this video
helpful, please like, subscribe and share.
If you're listening to this as apodcast, please rate and review.
And finally, remember, love inspires and powers, uplifts and
enlightens.
What happens when your ex realizes you're not going to beg
them after the breakup? You're not going to chase them,
you're not going to stalk them, Maybe you're even moving on.
Well, stay tuned and you'll findout.
Hi, this is Lucia with The Art of Love.
I'm a dating and relationship expert specializing in helping
(00:20):
you get your ex back or to get over your ex.
And welcome back my beautiful noContact Army.
Have you been a good little soldier?
If you have and you've downloaded my app Silencio to
help you stay in no contact. And the link to that is
underneath every single video and podcast.
And if you would like to join our no Contact Army and read the
(00:42):
manual, just go to nocontactsecrets.com where you
can read 2 free chapters before you purchase the book.
So before I start, I want to mention something that's been on
my mind for a while. 65% of people who listen to me are not
subscribed. Yeah, I'm shocked.
So if I could ask you a favor, and that is if my videos have
(01:05):
ever helped you in any way and you want to give something back,
please hit the subscribe button and I promise that I will
continue to work hard to put outinteresting and helpful videos
so that you will have a better chance of getting your ex back.
Thank you. OK, so when you go into no
contact after being dumped and you leave your ex alone, you
(01:28):
give them the gift of experiencing the real breakup.
They know it's not a fake breakup in the sense that you're
going to be chasing them. So they got what they wanted and
you're totally gone. You're totally out of there.
You're not bugging them, you're not pleading with them.
You're not texting them late at night.
(01:50):
You're not asking to be friends.You're not asking foreclosure.
You're not texting them with theexcuse of asking, oh, what was
the name of that restaurant we went to that one time.
You're not showing up where you know they'll be.
You're not giving them googly eyes or sad puppy dog eyes if
you work with them or go to school with them.
(02:11):
You're not asking them to reconsider for the sake of the
kids. You are doing absolutely
nothing. And when you do these things,
the breakup becomes real real fast.
And I know you're going to be asking yes, but they wanted the
breakup. Well, as I met talked about in
my first video actually about getting an X back titled How to
(02:35):
easily get your X back, and I'llput the link in the upper right
hand corner on YouTube, people are rarely 100% certain about a
breakup. They're at least 51% certain.
Otherwise they wouldn't have broken up with you.
But they're still a part of themthat's uncertain.
(02:59):
So even if it's 49% of them is uncertain, or if they were 70%
certain about the breakup, there's still that 30 part, 30%
part that isn't certain. See.
So by not doing all of those things that I just mentioned,
you're going to play on that 30%or that 49 percent or whatever
(03:24):
it is. Plus, most jumpers have the
arrogance of thinking that sincethey're the one doing the
breaking up and you're not the one to initiate it, you'll be
more than happy to take them back if they change their mind.
But let's disabuse them of that notion, shall we?
They made their bed and now theyhave to lay in it because you
(03:45):
are not chasing them by leaving them alone and disappearing.
You show them that if they want you back, they are going to have
to reach out and make it happen because you sure as hell are not
going to be the one to do that. This is why you have to stay in
no contact because otherwise if you give them any type of spoken
(04:10):
or unspoken message that you want them back, they will be
waiting on you to make another move.
If they change their mind, they'll be thinking, yeah, they
don't want the break up. They begged and pleaded.
So I'll just wait for them to hit me up again and then I'll
mention possibly getting back together.
But see, by doing absolutely nothing, you're making it very
(04:30):
clear that if they want you back, it's up to them to make it
happen. You're not doing anything and
their interest level in you willstart to go up because they
thought that they were the prizeand they could do better than
you. That's why they broke up.
(04:52):
I know it's hard to hear, but that's the reason why most
breakups happen. People lose attraction and their
interest level goes down. But now by being mysterious and
leaving them alone and not chasing them, as their interest
level goes up, so does their attraction level.
You'll start to become more attractive just by doing
(05:14):
nothing. See you don't have to do
anything. And people find it so hard to
believe. It's like how do you get your ex
back? Just do nothing?
What so if you didn't stop your life and then get if you
accepted the breakup? If you didn't stop your life and
(05:35):
try to get them back, you're obviously not as low value as
they thought you were. You obviously must have
confidence and feel that you have other options since you're
leaving them alone. You must be more valuable than
they thought you were. And this is one of the main
reasons why chasing an ex after a breakup is so bad.
(05:57):
You're basically saying I can't do better than you.
I don't have a lot of options. Because if you did have options
and if you could do better than them, you probably would not be
chasing them. So you know who wants to be with
someone who doesn't have options, right?
Nobody. It's unattractive.
(06:18):
And even if someone does come back because you begged them, it
will usually be because of guiltand it will be short lived.
Once they remember the reason orreasons for breaking up with
you, they will leave again. That's why people have to decide
on their own that they made a mistake and want to come back,
(06:39):
not because you begged them to come back.
So please have some dignity because otherwise there's a good
chance you will get the pet cemetery version of them.
As I mentioned in another video whose title always escapes me.
Now you're probably thinking, well if I just give them the
break up and disappear, won't that make it easier for them to
move on and find someone else? No, as I've said many times,
(07:05):
when it comes to matters of the heart, logic does not apply.
People do not date logically. Well except for me haha.
They date with their emotions and emotions do not have an IQ.
So when you do the opposite of what they expected, not only are
(07:26):
they curious as to what the heckis going on, as I talked about
in my video last week titled exactly what your ex is feeling
when you disappear and do no contact.
And I'll put the link in the upper right hand corner.
You've also heard their ego. They were at least expecting a
bit of resistance from you. And when they get little or
(07:49):
none, they're going to wonder why.
At the very least, they're goingto try to get an ego stroke from
you. And this is when they start
trying to get you to break no contact.
And of course, I have a video onthat and I'll put the link in
the upper right hand corner. So they couldn't predict your
next move because you're not making any moves.
(08:10):
So they're going to try to get you to show that you're at least
somewhat interested. But of course, you're listening
to me. So you won't be doing anything
until they send you a significant message.
And the beautiful thing about this is that since they're so
focused on you, they're going tobe less focused on moving on or
(08:32):
dating other people. See how that works?
They're going to be wondering like, what the heck is going on?
So they're not going to be as interested in moving on because
they're going to be focused on you.
Otherwise. You've actually made it easier
for them to move on if you stay in touch or try to get them back
because they know that as they're out there meeting new
(08:54):
people, if they can't find a replacement, well, at least they
got you as the backup plan. And this is one of the many
reasons that we don't respond tobread crumbs.
And finally, I want to say that the great thing about no contact
is that it turns the table on the dumper and gives back
strength and confidence to the dumpee.
(09:17):
You actually hold the power whenyou do no contact.
You have the power to not give them any attention and let them
sit there with their thoughts about whether dumping you was
the right thing to do or not. Do not give up that power.
Stay in no contact. OK, so now I want to hear from
you. How long have you been in no
(09:40):
contact and how is it going? And if you would like my help to
get your ex back, you can contact me at theartoflove.net
and we will send you the rates. They are not on the website and
the direct link to that is underneath every single video
and podcast. And I am available seven days a
week, 16 hours a day to help youwith getting your ex back.
(10:04):
So don't worry about the time difference or anything.
I am here for you. And if you found this video
helpful, please like, subscribe and share.
If you're listening to this as apodcast, please rate and review.
And finally, remember, love inspires and powers, uplifts and
enlightens.
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