Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Most people, when they're dumped, will chase and beg.
They think that if they pour outtheir feelings, their ex will
suddenly see the light and come back.
But that's not how attraction works.
It's actually the opposite. The more you push, the further
they run away from you. The less you chase, the more
(00:24):
inclined they'll be to come towards you.
People don't come back because you want them to.
You can't force someone to come back, just as you can't force
someone to date you. Exes come back because they miss
you and they realized your valuewhile they were away from you.
(00:44):
So how do we make your ex miss you and realize your value?
Stay tuned and you'll find out. Hi, this is Lucia with the Art
of Love. I'm a deity and relationship
expert specializing in helping you get your X back or to get
over your X. And welcome back my beautiful no
contact army. If you have my Silencio app, do
(01:07):
you know that you can do affirmations?
There's a section where you can do three free affirmations if
you are into affirmations or even ask formations.
So if you haven't checked that out, make sure you do.
The link is underneath every single video and podcast.
And if you too would like to join our beautiful no contact
army, all you have to do is hit the subscribe button and the
(01:31):
bell notification and you're in.And to read our manual, go to
nocontactsecrets.com where you can read 2 free chapters before
you purchase the book. Before I start, I want to
mention something that's been onmy mind for a while. 65% of
people who listen to me are not subscribed.
So if I can ask you a favor, if my videos have helped you in any
(01:54):
way and you want to give something back in return, then
please hit the subscribe button and I promise I will continue to
work hard to put out interestingand helpful videos.
Thank you. OK, let's get into it.
When something of value seems tobe slipping away, our natural
inclination is to chase it. However, the more you fight to
(02:18):
keep your ex in your life, the more they'll resist.
But why does showing that you care often have the opposite
effect? It's because when you chase, the
message you're sending is that your value, your worth, and your
validation depends on your ex. This comes across as desperate,
(02:44):
and desperation is never attractive.
No one is going to come back because they pity you, just as
no one is going to date you because they pity you.
People need to see value in bothdating you and in coming back to
you. When you truly let go, you shift
(03:05):
the dynamic completely. This is why people often hear
from their exes when they decideto just let go or move on.
That's why I have the meditationto take your energy back from
your ex and I'll put the link tothat in the upper right hand
corner. Their ex can sense the shift in
(03:28):
energy and if they're still interested, they reach out.
Your absence forces them to confront the reality they never
expected. You're no longer chasing them
and possibly no longer waiting for them.
But this is where most people screw up.
They think that just a little reminder to their ex won't hurt,
(03:52):
so they'll post something on social media that their ex noses
for them. Or they'll break no contact just
to check in. Just check it in.
A breakup is not a hotel or an airline.
You don't need to check in everytime you reach out.
(04:12):
You dilute the effectiveness of no contact.
And do you reassure them that you're still there and they have
absolutely nothing to worry about?
You're still waiting, you're still invested.
And just like that, they no longer feel the need to come
back. You just shot yourself in the
foot and you have no one to blame but yourself.
(04:36):
Instead, by not chasing them, you're showing self respect.
You're showing that you're not going to chase anyone who's
chosen to walk away from you. And for those of you who have an
anxious attachment style becauseof an abandonment in childhood,
your first instinct is going to be to chase them instead.
(04:57):
You need to be working on your attachment style, not chasing.
By doing no contact, you're communicating without words that
you're strong enough to walk away and stay away.
That strength is magnetic. Most people trip themselves up
(05:18):
by thinking, but what if they never come back?
What if they move on? Well, you need to ask yourself,
do you really want someone who doesn't see your worth and your
value and who has no problem walking away and never looking
back? How can you build a future?
How can you build a relationshipwith someone like that?
(05:41):
When you stay away from your ex,you start to regain control of
yourself. You start to actually get
yourself back. Many people lose themselves once
they start dating someone or they're in a relationship.
They start overreacting, analyzing every little thing,
overthinking and waiting. You think that the way to prove
(06:04):
your worth is by making them stay, but in reality, you prove
your worth by not chasing them. When they walk away, let them
sit in the silence of not hearing from you.
Let them experience what it's like to not have you in their
world. Absence speaks louder than
(06:25):
words. Your power comes not from
chasing them, but from your absence being felt so deeply
that they have no choice but to come back.
However, absence alone isn't enough.
You need to become someone they can't ignore.
(06:47):
You can't just stop at disappearing.
You need to go beyond that. Your ex needs to see you're no
longer the person they walked away from.
You're going to work on becomingthe best version of yourself.
You want your ex to see you as someone new, someone who's not
been sitting around waiting to hear from them but has been
(07:10):
actively working on themselves and their life.
Yes, of course you're going to level up physically.
Go to the gym, change your diet if necessary, update your
wardrobe, get a haircut that's more flattering for your face
shape, maybe a different hair color.
However, your real power is going to come from your mental
(07:34):
transformation. Instead of letting the breakup
get to you and letting it determine yourself worth, you're
going to take control of your life.
Do things that make you feel powerful and independent.
Read, attend seminars, workshops, go to therapy.
(07:56):
Whatever it is, you need to feelmentally stronger to become a
person who doesn't need externalvalidation in order to feel
whole. Your ex expected you to crumble
when they walked away, and instead the breakup has had the
opposite effect. When they see you thriving
(08:17):
without them. And they will see it.
Even if you don't think so, they're going to see it.
Don't worry, they will be shook.This is when they start to
second guess their decision. The paradox of attraction is
that the moment you stop needingtheir attention is the moment
that they actually want to give it to you.
(08:40):
Who do you want to be when they come back?
Do you want to be the same person you were when they walked
away from you? Or do you want to be your best
self so that by the time they return, you may not even be sure
that you even want them back? When they do come back, the
choice will be yours, not theirs, and the only way to get
(09:05):
to that place is to mentally detach.
Attachment is what's causing thepain you feel, not the loss
itself. It's not their absence that
hurts, but the fact that you're still emotionally tied to them.
You're still making them the center of your thoughts.
(09:27):
You're still letting them live rent free in your head even
though they walked away. That's why you feel stuck and
can't fully move on. Instead of living in the
present, you're a prisoner to the past, replaying memories and
wondering what you could have done differently.
(09:47):
Detachment isn't about suppressing emotions and
pretending you don't care. Detachment is about accepting
reality as it is at this moment.No resistance, no anger.
And this is where the magic happens.
With that acceptance comes the feeling of calm and peace.
(10:09):
When you're no longer fighting the current reality, it no
longer effects you. Remember, you always have power
over your mind and how you choose to view a situation.
You couldn't control your ex breaking up with you, but you
can't control how you react to the breakup.
And that's the moment that you reclaim your power, except that
(10:33):
nothing and no one is permanent and you will never be in fear of
losing anyone. So now I want to hear from you.
How long have you been in no contact and how is it going?
And in the meantime, if you would like my help to get your
ex back, please contact me at theartoflog.net/contact and we
(10:57):
will send you the rates. The link is underneath every
single video and podcast. If you found this video helpful,
please like, subscribe, and share.
If you're listening to this as apodcast and you want to help the
channel, please download this episode.
And finally, remember, love inspires, empowers, uplifts and
(11:17):
enlightens.
Most people, when they're dumped, will chase and beg.
They think that if they pour outtheir feelings, their ex will
suddenly see the light and come back.
But that's not how attraction works.
It's actually the opposite. The more you push, the further
they run away from you. The less you chase, the more
(00:24):
inclined they'll be to come towards you.
People don't come back because you want them to.
You can't force someone to come back, just as you can't force
someone to date you. Exes come back because they miss
you and they realized your valuewhile they were away from you.
(00:44):
So how do we make your ex miss you and realize your value?
Stay tuned and you'll find out. Hi, this is Lucia with the Art
of Love. I'm a deity and relationship
expert specializing in helping you get your X back or to get
over your X. And welcome back my beautiful no
contact army. If you have my Silencio app, do
(01:07):
you know that you can do affirmations?
There's a section where you can do three free affirmations if
you are into affirmations or even ask formations.
So if you haven't checked that out, make sure you do.
The link is underneath every single video and podcast.
And if you too would like to join our beautiful no contact
army, all you have to do is hit the subscribe button and the
(01:31):
bell notification and you're in.And to read our manual, go to
nocontactsecrets.com where you can read 2 free chapters before
you purchase the book. Before I start, I want to
mention something that's been onmy mind for a while. 65% of
people who listen to me are not subscribed.
So if I can ask you a favor, if my videos have helped you in any
(01:54):
way and you want to give something back in return, then
please hit the subscribe button and I promise I will continue to
work hard to put out interestingand helpful videos.
Thank you. OK, let's get into it.
When something of value seems tobe slipping away, our natural
inclination is to chase it. However, the more you fight to
(02:18):
keep your ex in your life, the more they'll resist.
But why does showing that you care often have the opposite
effect? It's because when you chase, the
message you're sending is that your value, your worth, and your
validation depends on your ex. This comes across as desperate,
(02:44):
and desperation is never attractive.
No one is going to come back because they pity you, just as
no one is going to date you because they pity you.
People need to see value in bothdating you and in coming back to
you. When you truly let go, you shift
(03:05):
the dynamic completely. This is why people often hear
from their exes when they decideto just let go or move on.
That's why I have the meditationto take your energy back from
your ex and I'll put the link tothat in the upper right hand
corner. Their ex can sense the shift in
(03:28):
energy and if they're still interested, they reach out.
Your absence forces them to confront the reality they never
expected. You're no longer chasing them
and possibly no longer waiting for them.
But this is where most people screw up.
They think that just a little reminder to their ex won't hurt,
(03:52):
so they'll post something on social media that their ex noses
for them. Or they'll break no contact just
to check in. Just check it in.
A breakup is not a hotel or an airline.
You don't need to check in everytime you reach out.
(04:12):
You dilute the effectiveness of no contact.
And do you reassure them that you're still there and they have
absolutely nothing to worry about?
You're still waiting, you're still invested.
And just like that, they no longer feel the need to come
back. You just shot yourself in the
foot and you have no one to blame but yourself.
(04:36):
Instead, by not chasing them, you're showing self respect.
You're showing that you're not going to chase anyone who's
chosen to walk away from you. And for those of you who have an
anxious attachment style becauseof an abandonment in childhood,
your first instinct is going to be to chase them instead.
(04:57):
You need to be working on your attachment style, not chasing.
By doing no contact, you're communicating without words that
you're strong enough to walk away and stay away.
That strength is magnetic. Most people trip themselves up
(05:18):
by thinking, but what if they never come back?
What if they move on? Well, you need to ask yourself,
do you really want someone who doesn't see your worth and your
value and who has no problem walking away and never looking
back? How can you build a future?
How can you build a relationshipwith someone like that?
(05:41):
When you stay away from your ex,you start to regain control of
yourself. You start to actually get
yourself back. Many people lose themselves once
they start dating someone or they're in a relationship.
They start overreacting, analyzing every little thing,
overthinking and waiting. You think that the way to prove
(06:04):
your worth is by making them stay, but in reality, you prove
your worth by not chasing them. When they walk away, let them
sit in the silence of not hearing from you.
Let them experience what it's like to not have you in their
world. Absence speaks louder than
(06:25):
words. Your power comes not from
chasing them, but from your absence being felt so deeply
that they have no choice but to come back.
However, absence alone isn't enough.
You need to become someone they can't ignore.
(06:47):
You can't just stop at disappearing.
You need to go beyond that. Your ex needs to see you're no
longer the person they walked away from.
You're going to work on becomingthe best version of yourself.
You want your ex to see you as someone new, someone who's not
been sitting around waiting to hear from them but has been
(07:10):
actively working on themselves and their life.
Yes, of course you're going to level up physically.
Go to the gym, change your diet if necessary, update your
wardrobe, get a haircut that's more flattering for your face
shape, maybe a different hair color.
However, your real power is going to come from your mental
(07:34):
transformation. Instead of letting the breakup
get to you and letting it determine yourself worth, you're
going to take control of your life.
Do things that make you feel powerful and independent.
Read, attend seminars, workshops, go to therapy.
(07:56):
Whatever it is, you need to feelmentally stronger to become a
person who doesn't need externalvalidation in order to feel
whole. Your ex expected you to crumble
when they walked away, and instead the breakup has had the
opposite effect. When they see you thriving
(08:17):
without them. And they will see it.
Even if you don't think so, they're going to see it.
Don't worry, they will be shook.This is when they start to
second guess their decision. The paradox of attraction is
that the moment you stop needingtheir attention is the moment
that they actually want to give it to you.
(08:40):
Who do you want to be when they come back?
Do you want to be the same person you were when they walked
away from you? Or do you want to be your best
self so that by the time they return, you may not even be sure
that you even want them back? When they do come back, the
choice will be yours, not theirs, and the only way to get
(09:05):
to that place is to mentally detach.
Attachment is what's causing thepain you feel, not the loss
itself. It's not their absence that
hurts, but the fact that you're still emotionally tied to them.
You're still making them the center of your thoughts.
(09:27):
You're still letting them live rent free in your head even
though they walked away. That's why you feel stuck and
can't fully move on. Instead of living in the
present, you're a prisoner to the past, replaying memories and
wondering what you could have done differently.
(09:47):
Detachment isn't about suppressing emotions and
pretending you don't care. Detachment is about accepting
reality as it is at this moment.No resistance, no anger.
And this is where the magic happens.
With that acceptance comes the feeling of calm and peace.
(10:09):
When you're no longer fighting the current reality, it no
longer effects you. Remember, you always have power
over your mind and how you choose to view a situation.
You couldn't control your ex breaking up with you, but you
can't control how you react to the breakup.
And that's the moment that you reclaim your power, except that
(10:33):
nothing and no one is permanent and you will never be in fear of
losing anyone. So now I want to hear from you.
How long have you been in no contact and how is it going?
And in the meantime, if you would like my help to get your
ex back, please contact me at theartoflog.net/contact and we
(10:57):
will send you the rates. The link is underneath every
single video and podcast. If you found this video helpful,
please like, subscribe, and share.
If you're listening to this as apodcast and you want to help the
channel, please download this episode.
And finally, remember, love inspires, empowers, uplifts and
(11:17):
enlightens.
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