July 9, 2025 • 10 mins
Is your ex REALLY gone forever? Or will they return?Dating/relationship expert Lucia breaks down the clear signs your ex is gone for good vs. the hidden clues they might return.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:08):
Today I'm going to answer a question so many people have
after a breakup and that is, is my ex gone for good or is there
a chance they'll come back? So whether you're hoping for a
reunion or just trying to move on, this video or podcast is for
you. So stay tuned.
Hi, this is Lucia with the Art of Love.
(00:29):
I'm a dating and relationship expert specializing in helping
you get your ex back or to get over your ex.
Welcome back my beautiful no contact Army.
Have you been a good little soldier and stayed in no
contact? Well, if you were a bad little
soldier, you can download my appSilencio and it will help you
(00:49):
stay in no contact. And the link to that is
underneath every single video and podcast.
And if you too want to join our no contact army, all you have to
do is hit the subscribe button and the bell notification and
you're in. And to read our manual, go to
nocontactsecrets.com where you can read 2 free chapters before
(01:11):
you purchase the book. OK, so let's talk about why this
question even pops into our heads.
Breakups leave us with uncertainty.
Our brains crave closure, so if things ended abruptly or
feelings were still strong, which they usually are, then
it's natural to wonder since there's unfinished business.
(01:35):
Plus, nostalgia can trick us into remembering only the good
times and making us second guessif the breakup was the right
call and we should actually be happy that it ended.
Years ago I found out that the guy I'd been in a long term
relationship with was cheating. And you know, we're both
(01:57):
Sagittarians and Sagittarians are known for their honesty.
So I said to him, are you cheating?
And he said yes, well thank you,thanks for your honesty.
It's like, hey, you might be a cheater, but you're not a liar.
But anyways, it was not a good relationship.
So I should have been happy, right?
I should have been celebrating. Like, yes, it's over, it's over.
(02:19):
But no, I wanted him back. And I've told the story before
of where I had to go to Vegas shortly after that.
And I went to one of those wonderful Vegas buffets, which
you can't really find anymore. And out of all that wonderful
food I could have eaten, all I had on my plate were crab legs.
(02:41):
OK, so that's why I say emotionsdon't have an IQ.
Feelings are not logical. Because if they were, I would
have been like, yes, I'm going to celebrate.
I'm going to eat everything in this buffet.
But no, all I had were two little crab legs.
So here's the thing. Not all exes come back, and not
(03:04):
all of them should. So how do you know which
category yours falls into? So let me start with the bad
news. Let's talk about the signs that
your ex has truly moved on #1 they've completely cut contacts,
so they've blocked you everywhere, and there's no
responses to messages if you've reached out for whatever reason.
(03:28):
Because if they wanted to reconnect, they would leave at
least one line of communication open.
Obviously they can't block you on e-mail, but other than that
everything else is closed. 2. They're dating someone else
seriously. So if they're in a new
relationship and they seem happyor they're in a committed long
(03:50):
term relationship, then they're likely not coming back.
Now of course there is an exception.
First of all, if it's a rebound,then you have a much better
chance of getting them back. That's why I said if they seem
happy or it's a committed long term relationship.
(04:11):
But one of my clients, he was broken up with and his ex
quickly married someone else. And I mean, within a month, OK.
So of course it didn't work out and he heard from her within a
few months. So exceptions like that, yeah.
But how, how often does that happen, right?
(04:32):
Hopefully not too. Not too often #3 they've told
you it's over for good. So clear statements like we're
never getting back together or Idon't love you anymore.
Probably not going to come back.However, again, an exception
because people say all kinds of things after a breakup.
(04:55):
A lot of times, out of anger or hurt or frustration, they say
it's over, I never want to see you again.
We're never getting back together.
And then you get back together. So there's still hope.
Sometimes #4 they've moved away or they've made big life
changes, so they have a new job in another city or another
(05:17):
country. They've deleted old photos or
removed traces of your relationship.
Then yeah, chances are not looking good #5 the relationship
was toxic. So if it was an on again, off
again relationship, or trust wasbroken or resentment built up,
(05:41):
then the chances are slim that they'll return.
So those are some of the reasons.
Not all, but some. So now that I've told you the
reasons why they won't return and you're totally depressed,
let me give you the reasons why your ex might still have
feelings and could return one. They keep in touch.
(06:02):
So random texts, checking in, liking your posts, that means
that they still care on some level.
It doesn't mean that you have torespond, and in fact, you
shouldn't respond because you'resupposed to be in no contact and
not respond to bread crumbs. But yeah, if they're still
hanging around somehow, then there's still some interest
(06:24):
there, but it still could be guilt or nostalgia. 2 They get
jealous or ask about your datinglife.
So if they react when you're when you mention someone new,
they might still have feelings for you.
But again, this is only if somehow you're in contact.
So if you have kids together, ifyou work together, go to school
(06:46):
together, whatever, you talk to them.
Otherwise, you're not supposed to be talking to them #3 the
breakup was emotional, not logical, so it was a heat of the
moment fight versus a calm, wellthought out breakup.
So emotional breakups have a much higher chance of
reconciliation. You'll hear from them usually
(07:09):
within a few weeks or even a fewdays, and that's a good sign.
If they broke up with you out ofthe blue, they got upset during
a fight. Like that's it, it's over, we're
done. And then they think about it and
they're like oops, what did I do?
And then they come back #4 they haven't fully let go.
(07:30):
So they still have your stuff. They're bringing up memories.
They're saying things like, well, maybe in the future that's
a good sign. They mention missing you.
In fact, one of my clients just last night got a text from the
ex saying miss you. Or even casual comments like I
(07:52):
miss your laugh. So that hits hints at lingering
feelings still being there. The next one is that they're
single and they're not moving on.
So if they're avoiding your relationships, they could still
be processing the breakup, whichis a great sign for you.
And then finally, the last one, the breakup was circumstantial.
(08:15):
So distance, timing or external pressures like family or work
sometimes change and that makes getting back together possible.
Or if you were married and they broke up with you because they
thought that you were never going to leave your husband or
leave your wife, and now you have you've moved out or you've
(08:38):
filed for divorce, then you do have a chance to get them back.
And I mention this because, hey,some of my clients have been
married, what can I say? But, and this is key, don't read
into bread crumbs. If they're not, if they're not
making a real effort to reconnect, then it's just
comfort and nostalgia, not love.So what should you do?
(09:02):
Well, unless you cheated or tookyour ex for granted, which means
that they didn't feel like they were a priority, they didn't
feel important, then you have tostay in no contact until they
say something significant. You're not interested in bread
crumbs, you want the whole loaf at the end of the day.
Only time will tell if your ex comes back, but your focus in
(09:25):
the meantime should always be onyou, not waiting around for
someone who may or may not return.
So now I want to hear from you. Which of these signs have you
heard, heard, or seen from your ex?
And if you want my help to determine what your chances are
of getting your ex back, you cancontact me for coaching at The
(09:46):
Art of love.net/coaching and we will send you the rates.
And the direct link to that is underneath every single video
and podcast. If you found this video helpful,
then please like, subscribe and share.
If you're listening to this as apodcast and you want to help the
show, then just download this episode.
(10:07):
And finally, remember, love inspires, empowers, uplifts and
enlightens.
Today I'm going to answer a question so many people have
after a breakup and that is, is my ex gone for good or is there
a chance they'll come back? So whether you're hoping for a
reunion or just trying to move on, this video or podcast is for
you. So stay tuned.
Hi, this is Lucia with the Art of Love.
(00:29):
I'm a dating and relationship expert specializing in helping
you get your ex back or to get over your ex.
Welcome back my beautiful no contact Army.
Have you been a good little soldier and stayed in no
contact? Well, if you were a bad little
soldier, you can download my appSilencio and it will help you
(00:49):
stay in no contact. And the link to that is
underneath every single video and podcast.
And if you too want to join our no contact army, all you have to
do is hit the subscribe button and the bell notification and
you're in. And to read our manual, go to
nocontactsecrets.com where you can read 2 free chapters before
(01:11):
you purchase the book. OK, so let's talk about why this
question even pops into our heads.
Breakups leave us with uncertainty.
Our brains crave closure, so if things ended abruptly or
feelings were still strong, which they usually are, then
it's natural to wonder since there's unfinished business.
(01:35):
Plus, nostalgia can trick us into remembering only the good
times and making us second guessif the breakup was the right
call and we should actually be happy that it ended.
Years ago I found out that the guy I'd been in a long term
relationship with was cheating. And you know, we're both
(01:57):
Sagittarians and Sagittarians are known for their honesty.
So I said to him, are you cheating?
And he said yes, well thank you,thanks for your honesty.
It's like, hey, you might be a cheater, but you're not a liar.
But anyways, it was not a good relationship.
So I should have been happy, right?
I should have been celebrating. Like, yes, it's over, it's over.
(02:19):
But no, I wanted him back. And I've told the story before
of where I had to go to Vegas shortly after that.
And I went to one of those wonderful Vegas buffets, which
you can't really find anymore. And out of all that wonderful
food I could have eaten, all I had on my plate were crab legs.
(02:41):
OK, so that's why I say emotionsdon't have an IQ.
Feelings are not logical. Because if they were, I would
have been like, yes, I'm going to celebrate.
I'm going to eat everything in this buffet.
But no, all I had were two little crab legs.
So here's the thing. Not all exes come back, and not
(03:04):
all of them should. So how do you know which
category yours falls into? So let me start with the bad
news. Let's talk about the signs that
your ex has truly moved on #1 they've completely cut contacts,
so they've blocked you everywhere, and there's no
responses to messages if you've reached out for whatever reason.
(03:28):
Because if they wanted to reconnect, they would leave at
least one line of communication open.
Obviously they can't block you on e-mail, but other than that
everything else is closed. 2. They're dating someone else
seriously. So if they're in a new
relationship and they seem happyor they're in a committed long
(03:50):
term relationship, then they're likely not coming back.
Now of course there is an exception.
First of all, if it's a rebound,then you have a much better
chance of getting them back. That's why I said if they seem
happy or it's a committed long term relationship.
(04:11):
But one of my clients, he was broken up with and his ex
quickly married someone else. And I mean, within a month, OK.
So of course it didn't work out and he heard from her within a
few months. So exceptions like that, yeah.
But how, how often does that happen, right?
(04:32):
Hopefully not too. Not too often #3 they've told
you it's over for good. So clear statements like we're
never getting back together or Idon't love you anymore.
Probably not going to come back.However, again, an exception
because people say all kinds of things after a breakup.
(04:55):
A lot of times, out of anger or hurt or frustration, they say
it's over, I never want to see you again.
We're never getting back together.
And then you get back together. So there's still hope.
Sometimes #4 they've moved away or they've made big life
changes, so they have a new job in another city or another
(05:17):
country. They've deleted old photos or
removed traces of your relationship.
Then yeah, chances are not looking good #5 the relationship
was toxic. So if it was an on again, off
again relationship, or trust wasbroken or resentment built up,
(05:41):
then the chances are slim that they'll return.
So those are some of the reasons.
Not all, but some. So now that I've told you the
reasons why they won't return and you're totally depressed,
let me give you the reasons why your ex might still have
feelings and could return one. They keep in touch.
(06:02):
So random texts, checking in, liking your posts, that means
that they still care on some level.
It doesn't mean that you have torespond, and in fact, you
shouldn't respond because you'resupposed to be in no contact and
not respond to bread crumbs. But yeah, if they're still
hanging around somehow, then there's still some interest
(06:24):
there, but it still could be guilt or nostalgia. 2 They get
jealous or ask about your datinglife.
So if they react when you're when you mention someone new,
they might still have feelings for you.
But again, this is only if somehow you're in contact.
So if you have kids together, ifyou work together, go to school
(06:46):
together, whatever, you talk to them.
Otherwise, you're not supposed to be talking to them #3 the
breakup was emotional, not logical, so it was a heat of the
moment fight versus a calm, wellthought out breakup.
So emotional breakups have a much higher chance of
reconciliation. You'll hear from them usually
(07:09):
within a few weeks or even a fewdays, and that's a good sign.
If they broke up with you out ofthe blue, they got upset during
a fight. Like that's it, it's over, we're
done. And then they think about it and
they're like oops, what did I do?
And then they come back #4 they haven't fully let go.
(07:30):
So they still have your stuff. They're bringing up memories.
They're saying things like, well, maybe in the future that's
a good sign. They mention missing you.
In fact, one of my clients just last night got a text from the
ex saying miss you. Or even casual comments like I
(07:52):
miss your laugh. So that hits hints at lingering
feelings still being there. The next one is that they're
single and they're not moving on.
So if they're avoiding your relationships, they could still
be processing the breakup, whichis a great sign for you.
And then finally, the last one, the breakup was circumstantial.
(08:15):
So distance, timing or external pressures like family or work
sometimes change and that makes getting back together possible.
Or if you were married and they broke up with you because they
thought that you were never going to leave your husband or
leave your wife, and now you have you've moved out or you've
(08:38):
filed for divorce, then you do have a chance to get them back.
And I mention this because, hey,some of my clients have been
married, what can I say? But, and this is key, don't read
into bread crumbs. If they're not, if they're not
making a real effort to reconnect, then it's just
comfort and nostalgia, not love.So what should you do?
(09:02):
Well, unless you cheated or tookyour ex for granted, which means
that they didn't feel like they were a priority, they didn't
feel important, then you have tostay in no contact until they
say something significant. You're not interested in bread
crumbs, you want the whole loaf at the end of the day.
Only time will tell if your ex comes back, but your focus in
(09:25):
the meantime should always be onyou, not waiting around for
someone who may or may not return.
So now I want to hear from you. Which of these signs have you
heard, heard, or seen from your ex?
And if you want my help to determine what your chances are
of getting your ex back, you cancontact me for coaching at The
(09:46):
Art of love.net/coaching and we will send you the rates.
And the direct link to that is underneath every single video
and podcast. If you found this video helpful,
then please like, subscribe and share.
If you're listening to this as apodcast and you want to help the
show, then just download this episode.
(10:07):
And finally, remember, love inspires, empowers, uplifts and
enlightens.
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