April 21, 2021 • 13 mins
Yep, pretty much as the episode suggests, Scotty eats donuts weird and claims he has a reason why. Also hear all about Andrew's phobia of puke and how Scotty scammed everyone in 4th grade!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
We're good. Hey, hey, hey, hold on, hold on, and
we are recording, are we Yeah, we're recording on my end?
Speaker 2 (00:09):
We are, Hey, Andrew?
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Oh hi, Scott?
Speaker 2 (00:12):
What's going on? Not much?
Speaker 1 (00:14):
You know what today is?
Speaker 2 (00:15):
What is it Wednesday?
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Which means it's another episode of.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Bull Chat. Yay, that's so stupid. All of that is
so stupid, stupid. No, we don't do that on this one.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
No we do.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
We don't make fun of each other.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Yes we do. It's however we feel in that moment.
And right now I feel like making fun of you.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Oh okay, Hey, can I have one of those gloves?
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (00:38):
You cover the gloves?
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Do you need them?
Speaker 2 (00:40):
I need a glove? Okay, can I have a glove?
What are you about to do? I'm gonna eat this donut?
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Why do you need gloves for? Oh god? How many
do you need?
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Just one?
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Oh god?
Speaker 2 (00:50):
What are you.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
About to do?
Speaker 2 (00:51):
What do you want to talk about today? Buddy?
Speaker 1 (00:52):
I want to watch whatever you're trying to do with
this glove? Oh?
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Well, see, I don't actually eat whole donuts anymore because
I don't eat the donut part. I only eat the
the cream and the frosting. And you know, the whole
story because I almost died.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Oh my god, he almost. You're a murderer.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
I don't want to get greasy door. You have a
psychopath all over my hand?
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Why this is a mental illness?
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Why which matter?
Speaker 1 (01:20):
So what you're doing is scraping the chocolate off, eating
the chocolate, and that's fine.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
I'll remove the chocolate from the donut and I'll eat
the filling, but I won't eat the dough. I'm sure
you have some quirky things you do, not this. Well,
guess what now? I can get into size thirty four
geens because I do this?
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Is it worth it?
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Because it doesn't look like I went down from thirty
six because I only eat the tops and insides of donuts.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
I don't think that's why, Scott. I really don't.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
I'm pretty sure it is.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Scott. This is insane. Please just eat the full donut. No,
this is insane. You're wasting a donut.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
You can have it.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Why do I want? It's a pastry with cream in it.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
No, I'm gonna eat the cream.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
You realize that that's where all the calories are.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Watch, I don't care. Oh it's a good one. It's
Boston cream. Mhmm. Wait, so what do you want to
talk about today? That's good.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
This is disgusting. You're a disgusting person. Why just eat
the donut, dude.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
I'm sure you have quirks.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
This is not one of them. But this is not
This is not normal, just one of mine. I found
out my friend Pat when he eats burgers, huh, takes
the burger apart. So he'll take one bite of it
as a full burger right, then he'll take the top
bun off and the bottom bun.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Then.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
This is disgusting. This is this is why we started
bull chat because people need to know that you are
like a serial killer. Here go HELLEL serial killer, but
an s E R. I a L killer. Like nobody
does this. Nobody eats a donut with a glove.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
I can't be the Okay, well, I just don't want
to get quittal of my fingers. I'm next and clean,
and I'll just dispose of this properly.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
A full donut. You're disposing of not.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
A full doughnut. It's only about three quarters of a donut.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Now, It's basically you just threw away a glazed donut. No, no,
I ate the insides on the top, just eat the
full donut. No, that's not you're not taking away calories.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
I don't really eat pastries anymore. That's a thing of mine.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Because one time you had a cinnabon and we're convinced
you had a heart attack.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Do we need to get into the whole thing. I've
already told the story before.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
I know, and it's I still think a little comical okay,
changed your life completely.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
I passed out.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Because you ate like fifteen cinnabon delights from Taco Bell,
the little mini things.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Yes, they weren't that many. So I just decided for
myself to be better and not eat fried lardie pastries anymore.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
You be, but you still eat them. You're eating the inside.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
That wasn't the pastry. That's how my bread. My mind
was sole lard in the cream.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
There's there's no lard or any type of grossness in
the in the top part, the chocolate part.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Why can't you just let my mind work the way it.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Works because your mind is dumb in this case?
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Shall we move on?
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Well? No, Because my friend Pat eats burgers where he
deconstructs the whole burger and then tacos. It he'll eat
it like a taco. He'll fold it in half. It's
the weirdest thing I've ever seen in my entire life.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Well, there's a place by me called Burghito's and it's
a burger burrito.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
I loved that place. Yeah, they came up to the show.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
I can't believe you remember that.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Yeah, I mean it was delicious. How can I not forget?
How could I forget it?
Speaker 2 (04:34):
I may go there today. They're still open.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Are you going to take apart the tortilla because apparently
the insidees are the only No.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
No, I'll just tell them what I don't want in it.
Uey Chiro's not anymore. No, I don't.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
I just don't understand. It's not like you're not doing anything.
You eat cereal, which is basically a patie.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Here's the thing, And you're not the only one that
gives me crap. My wife makes fun of me too.
I could you imagine if I did eat all of that,
I'd seven and fifty pounds.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
You wouldn't, though I would, because I've cut it all out.
You're not.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Why does it bother you?
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Because there's no willpower? And there is hell, there's.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
So much willpower i'd have been a birthday cake in
three years.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
I get fruit now, Scott, one piece of cake. Unless
you're someone who like can't stop them.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
I eat one piece, I will continue. It's just like
a smoker or a drinker or someone that's on or
off the wagon or whatever that wagon is. If I
have one piece or one thing, I'm gonna eat it
again and again. I don't want to. Why is that bad?
Why do you get so angry?
Speaker 1 (05:34):
It's just the way that you're eating it. You're still
eating it. It's like eating. It's like saying, oh, I
don't smoke, but you jewel. It's like you're still vape.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
No, that's completely different. There's nicotine in both of them,
and it's still going in your lungs.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
You're still eating chocolate frosting.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Please move on. This is just an argument. It's an
argument that nobody's gonna win. So can we just move on.
I was your day and you didn't win. I won,
you didn't, Scott. Okay, when people hear this back, it's
going to be team me. There's gonna be other people
that say, hey, I'm with Scott. I get it. I
totally get I.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Eat donuts with gloves. I'm with Scott.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
No, but I understand that he doesn't want to eat
the fatty lardy pastry part. I get it. It's fine, Andrew.
What else is going on in your life?
Speaker 1 (06:14):
I mean, my birthday is next week?
Speaker 2 (06:15):
Hey hey? Hey?
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Yeah? Where shows that from? Uh?
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Fat Albert? Hey?
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Yes? But no, the hey hey hey that I did
is actually Duwayne from What's Happening? Hey hey hey, is
fat Albert? They did the haze differently.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Oh that's cool.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
I was speaking of fat Albert and heart attacks? Do
you know that this is an interesting story? I'm full
of them, you know. Yeah. When I was in fourth grade,
I was. I was a huge fan of fat Albert.
I don't know why, but I was. That was my thing.
But when I was in fourth grade, I didn't want
to go to school so badly that I faked an
illness and I pretended to vomit and I pretended that
(06:56):
I had something wrong with my stomach. And I stayed
home from school for a couple of days. And then
every time like the bus would come, I would go yeah,
and I would pour water in the toilet. And it
is such a convincing sound of me vomiting that I
would stay home from school again and it would just
keep happening, and my mom would there's something wrong with you.
We need to have you checked out. And I was
admitted to the hospital for a week. And of course
(07:19):
I didn't fake throw up in the hospital. I just
was eating the food and watching TV and loving life.
And the fat Albert thing comes in is because my
fourth grade class all sent me letters with pictures of
fat Albert because I liked it, and I still have them.
I still have them. But then on the very last
day that I was being discharged from the hospital, I
pretended to vomit and then they were like, okay, get out.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
So yeah, So to bring this full circle, huh, you
are the same person that's also eating donuts now with
a glove.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Yeah, so we could have predicted this when I was
in fourth grade.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
One hundred percent the hypochondriac and you slash whatever goes
on with you. Yeah, I am actually and I don't
know if I've mentioned this. I am terrified of throw up.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
I can actually remember every time I've ever vomited in
my entire life.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
You do have it written down, don't you.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
I don't know all in really, the old ticker see
to me, the last time I threw up was October tenth,
two thousand and nineteen.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Where were you? What were you doing?
Speaker 1 (08:12):
I drank too much. It was the only time I've
ever vomited from drinking too much.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
The only time I ever vomited from drinking too much
was at Webster Hall in New York City. We were
at a Z one hundred appearance and I ran down
the steps. I don't know if you are familiar with it,
to me too. At the very bottom of the steps
was the bathroom and there's a velvet couch with a
payphone where they used to be. I mean, this is
twenty years ago. And I ran down and I didn't
(08:37):
make it, and I vomited all over the couch, all
over it. And I just sat there with my legs
cross because I felt like an idiot. Some girl came
up and I was like, hey baby, you know, and
there was corn all over my face.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Shut up. That is disgusting.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
I swear it was the worst night of my life.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
That is not the visual we need to give people
on this podcast.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
No, but it's funny because I think it's funny to
watch people vomit.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
God, No, more.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Like on TV or in cartoon, like every time in
Family Guy when Uh Peter vomits or Stewie whoever vomits
like NonStop hilarious. And I and at the old radio station,
I would follow some guy around with the camera. He
would throw up and I would laugh, Oh God. As
soon as the smell hit me, it was all over.
But I think it's funny to watch vomitses, not to
smell it.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
I have an intense phobia of the pre part. Like
to me, I yeah, see that. To me, I don't
think you understand. In grade school, like I was like
a hawk and I stopped like I would look around
class after lunch and be like, who is it today?
Whoa Who's gonna do it today?
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Vomited in school every day.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
In my head, I was always so terrified that people
were going to get sick, and so I would watch
them and be like, from school lunch, Oh my god,
is this gonna yes? Always from school I.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Was all about it. I ate. I am such an
industrial food guy. It's funny because I'm the opposite of
every other kid in school. The only meal I did
not like was pizza. So on Fridays I brought food
from home.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Oh my god, you were the person.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
And ate the boiled hot I ate everything, the meat loaf,
the chicken that they had, this chicken patty that I
don't even know what it was, chip delicious, thuff, yeah,
sloppy Joe's. I ate everything, and I loved it. I
didn't love the hamburgers, but everything else I ate. Turkey
on I got turkey was like a feast.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
It's like a smell. I feel like all great school
cafeterias smell the same. It doesn't matter where you are
in the continental United States, if you walk into a
school cafeteria, it will always smell the same.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Do you remember safety Pup?
Speaker 1 (10:28):
I do not remember sety pup.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Safety Pup was on the side of the little milk
cartons that you would get for a quarter in the cafeteria. Yeah.
He would always have a little uh you know, hey,
kids just say no. It was always like some kind
of you know, eighties thing. Drug.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
Yeah, we're gonna stop everyone from doing drugs with safety pup.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
And dare Yeah. Keep talking. I'm gonna look up safety
Pup because I'm a bet you it's a thing.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
The chocolate milk they always had two tasted the same,
the every milk. I feel like it's the same in schools,
the plays.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Not anymore. Now there's lactose free and free and everything free,
you know, for the people that can't eat vegans and
all this stuff.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
There's vegan kids.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Yeah please really?
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Uh huh are any of your daughter's friends vegan? Oh?
Hold on one second?
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Oh here we go both on phones. Oh wait, wait?
What do we do talk? What am I supposed to do?
I don't know what to do? All right? So here's
Oh this is you know what I'm looking up, Safety Pup.
It doesn't I don't think that this is him. It
could be it's his, for it's from the eighties, you know,
I think this is him. Do you remember this guy,
Safety Pup? He was on the side of the milk cartons.
(11:34):
I wish I could find a milk carton. Oh yeah,
there it is. How funny. See I knew, I knew
what I was talking about. Safety Pup says, never take
short cuts on the way home. See, and then milk
was a quarter. But I guess I'm dating myself because
I think it's a dollar now. But actually, now during
(11:55):
COVID they are giving kids free lunches in my district anyway.
I don't if it's a state wide thing or a
federal thing or whatever it is. But I order lunch
for Cooper in school every day. Ashley, a little bit older,
not into lunch in the cafeteria. She always brings stuff
from home. All right, So we were just talking about
safety pop Andrew.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Sorry, I had a work call. Uh huh with Elvis.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
So did we do enough? Or you want to go?
Speaker 1 (12:21):
This is what ten minutes?
Speaker 2 (12:22):
I don't know, twelve?
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Oh? What? See? I feel like natural conversation. This is
how we actually talk to each other when it was
pre pandemic.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
No, we don't. We always yelled at each other.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Well, I mean we still yell at each other. I
mean I made fun of you for the first five
minutes of this podcast, just like I would pre pandemic
sitting watch you eat a donut, and you would have
used a glove to eat a donut pre pandemic as well.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
That's not true, but only because there were no gloves
readily available. Now they're everywhere, and I know, if.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Anything, it supports your weird thing.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
I don't like to get my hands dirty, and now
I don't have to go wash my hands again.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
In your defense, I have a weird phobia of I
don't like that, I don't like condiments like mustard or.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Okay, let's just end it. Okay, say Clink Andrew Clink.
We're good. Hey, hey, hey, hold on, hold on, and
we are recording, are we Yeah, we're recording on my end?
Speaker 2 (00:09):
We are, Hey, Andrew?
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Oh hi, Scott?
Speaker 2 (00:12):
What's going on? Not much?
Speaker 1 (00:14):
You know what today is?
Speaker 2 (00:15):
What is it Wednesday?
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Which means it's another episode of.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Bull Chat. Yay, that's so stupid. All of that is
so stupid, stupid. No, we don't do that on this one.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
No we do.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
We don't make fun of each other.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Yes we do. It's however we feel in that moment.
And right now I feel like making fun of you.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Oh okay, Hey, can I have one of those gloves?
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (00:38):
You cover the gloves?
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Do you need them?
Speaker 2 (00:40):
I need a glove? Okay, can I have a glove?
What are you about to do? I'm gonna eat this donut?
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Why do you need gloves for? Oh god? How many
do you need?
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Just one?
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Oh god?
Speaker 2 (00:50):
What are you.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
About to do?
Speaker 2 (00:51):
What do you want to talk about today? Buddy?
Speaker 1 (00:52):
I want to watch whatever you're trying to do with
this glove? Oh?
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Well, see, I don't actually eat whole donuts anymore because
I don't eat the donut part. I only eat the
the cream and the frosting. And you know, the whole
story because I almost died.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Oh my god, he almost. You're a murderer.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
I don't want to get greasy door. You have a
psychopath all over my hand?
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Why this is a mental illness?
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Why which matter?
Speaker 1 (01:20):
So what you're doing is scraping the chocolate off, eating
the chocolate, and that's fine.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
I'll remove the chocolate from the donut and I'll eat
the filling, but I won't eat the dough. I'm sure
you have some quirky things you do, not this. Well,
guess what now? I can get into size thirty four
geens because I do this?
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Is it worth it?
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Because it doesn't look like I went down from thirty
six because I only eat the tops and insides of donuts.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
I don't think that's why, Scott. I really don't.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
I'm pretty sure it is.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Scott. This is insane. Please just eat the full donut. No,
this is insane. You're wasting a donut.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
You can have it.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Why do I want? It's a pastry with cream in it.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
No, I'm gonna eat the cream.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
You realize that that's where all the calories are.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Watch, I don't care. Oh it's a good one. It's
Boston cream. Mhmm. Wait, so what do you want to
talk about today? That's good.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
This is disgusting. You're a disgusting person. Why just eat
the donut, dude.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
I'm sure you have quirks.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
This is not one of them. But this is not
This is not normal, just one of mine. I found
out my friend Pat when he eats burgers, huh, takes
the burger apart. So he'll take one bite of it
as a full burger right, then he'll take the top
bun off and the bottom bun.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Then.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
This is disgusting. This is this is why we started
bull chat because people need to know that you are
like a serial killer. Here go HELLEL serial killer, but
an s E R. I a L killer. Like nobody
does this. Nobody eats a donut with a glove.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
I can't be the Okay, well, I just don't want
to get quittal of my fingers. I'm next and clean,
and I'll just dispose of this properly.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
A full donut. You're disposing of not.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
A full doughnut. It's only about three quarters of a donut.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Now, It's basically you just threw away a glazed donut. No, no,
I ate the insides on the top, just eat the
full donut. No, that's not you're not taking away calories.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
I don't really eat pastries anymore. That's a thing of mine.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Because one time you had a cinnabon and we're convinced
you had a heart attack.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Do we need to get into the whole thing. I've
already told the story before.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
I know, and it's I still think a little comical okay,
changed your life completely.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
I passed out.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Because you ate like fifteen cinnabon delights from Taco Bell,
the little mini things.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Yes, they weren't that many. So I just decided for
myself to be better and not eat fried lardie pastries anymore.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
You be, but you still eat them. You're eating the inside.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
That wasn't the pastry. That's how my bread. My mind
was sole lard in the cream.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
There's there's no lard or any type of grossness in
the in the top part, the chocolate part.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Why can't you just let my mind work the way it.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Works because your mind is dumb in this case?
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Shall we move on?
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Well? No, Because my friend Pat eats burgers where he
deconstructs the whole burger and then tacos. It he'll eat
it like a taco. He'll fold it in half. It's
the weirdest thing I've ever seen in my entire life.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Well, there's a place by me called Burghito's and it's
a burger burrito.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
I loved that place. Yeah, they came up to the show.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
I can't believe you remember that.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Yeah, I mean it was delicious. How can I not forget?
How could I forget it?
Speaker 2 (04:34):
I may go there today. They're still open.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Are you going to take apart the tortilla because apparently
the insidees are the only No.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
No, I'll just tell them what I don't want in it.
Uey Chiro's not anymore. No, I don't.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
I just don't understand. It's not like you're not doing anything.
You eat cereal, which is basically a patie.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Here's the thing, And you're not the only one that
gives me crap. My wife makes fun of me too.
I could you imagine if I did eat all of that,
I'd seven and fifty pounds.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
You wouldn't, though I would, because I've cut it all out.
You're not.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Why does it bother you?
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Because there's no willpower? And there is hell, there's.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
So much willpower i'd have been a birthday cake in
three years.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
I get fruit now, Scott, one piece of cake. Unless
you're someone who like can't stop them.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
I eat one piece, I will continue. It's just like
a smoker or a drinker or someone that's on or
off the wagon or whatever that wagon is. If I
have one piece or one thing, I'm gonna eat it
again and again. I don't want to. Why is that bad?
Why do you get so angry?
Speaker 1 (05:34):
It's just the way that you're eating it. You're still
eating it. It's like eating. It's like saying, oh, I
don't smoke, but you jewel. It's like you're still vape.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
No, that's completely different. There's nicotine in both of them,
and it's still going in your lungs.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
You're still eating chocolate frosting.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Please move on. This is just an argument. It's an
argument that nobody's gonna win. So can we just move on.
I was your day and you didn't win. I won,
you didn't, Scott. Okay, when people hear this back, it's
going to be team me. There's gonna be other people
that say, hey, I'm with Scott. I get it. I
totally get I.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Eat donuts with gloves. I'm with Scott.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
No, but I understand that he doesn't want to eat
the fatty lardy pastry part. I get it. It's fine, Andrew.
What else is going on in your life?
Speaker 1 (06:14):
I mean, my birthday is next week?
Speaker 2 (06:15):
Hey hey? Hey?
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Yeah? Where shows that from? Uh?
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Fat Albert? Hey?
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Yes? But no, the hey hey hey that I did
is actually Duwayne from What's Happening? Hey hey hey, is
fat Albert? They did the haze differently.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Oh that's cool.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
I was speaking of fat Albert and heart attacks? Do
you know that this is an interesting story? I'm full
of them, you know. Yeah. When I was in fourth grade,
I was. I was a huge fan of fat Albert.
I don't know why, but I was. That was my thing.
But when I was in fourth grade, I didn't want
to go to school so badly that I faked an
illness and I pretended to vomit and I pretended that
(06:56):
I had something wrong with my stomach. And I stayed
home from school for a couple of days. And then
every time like the bus would come, I would go yeah,
and I would pour water in the toilet. And it
is such a convincing sound of me vomiting that I
would stay home from school again and it would just
keep happening, and my mom would there's something wrong with you.
We need to have you checked out. And I was
admitted to the hospital for a week. And of course
(07:19):
I didn't fake throw up in the hospital. I just
was eating the food and watching TV and loving life.
And the fat Albert thing comes in is because my
fourth grade class all sent me letters with pictures of
fat Albert because I liked it, and I still have them.
I still have them. But then on the very last
day that I was being discharged from the hospital, I
pretended to vomit and then they were like, okay, get out.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
So yeah, So to bring this full circle, huh, you
are the same person that's also eating donuts now with
a glove.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Yeah, so we could have predicted this when I was
in fourth grade.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
One hundred percent the hypochondriac and you slash whatever goes
on with you. Yeah, I am actually and I don't
know if I've mentioned this. I am terrified of throw up.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
I can actually remember every time I've ever vomited in
my entire life.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
You do have it written down, don't you.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
I don't know all in really, the old ticker see
to me, the last time I threw up was October tenth,
two thousand and nineteen.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Where were you? What were you doing?
Speaker 1 (08:12):
I drank too much. It was the only time I've
ever vomited from drinking too much.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
The only time I ever vomited from drinking too much
was at Webster Hall in New York City. We were
at a Z one hundred appearance and I ran down
the steps. I don't know if you are familiar with it,
to me too. At the very bottom of the steps
was the bathroom and there's a velvet couch with a
payphone where they used to be. I mean, this is
twenty years ago. And I ran down and I didn't
(08:37):
make it, and I vomited all over the couch, all
over it. And I just sat there with my legs
cross because I felt like an idiot. Some girl came
up and I was like, hey baby, you know, and
there was corn all over my face.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Shut up. That is disgusting.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
I swear it was the worst night of my life.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
That is not the visual we need to give people
on this podcast.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
No, but it's funny because I think it's funny to
watch people vomit.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
God, No, more.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Like on TV or in cartoon, like every time in
Family Guy when Uh Peter vomits or Stewie whoever vomits
like NonStop hilarious. And I and at the old radio station,
I would follow some guy around with the camera. He
would throw up and I would laugh, Oh God. As
soon as the smell hit me, it was all over.
But I think it's funny to watch vomitses, not to
smell it.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
I have an intense phobia of the pre part. Like
to me, I yeah, see that. To me, I don't
think you understand. In grade school, like I was like
a hawk and I stopped like I would look around
class after lunch and be like, who is it today?
Whoa Who's gonna do it today?
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Vomited in school every day.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
In my head, I was always so terrified that people
were going to get sick, and so I would watch
them and be like, from school lunch, Oh my god,
is this gonna yes? Always from school I.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Was all about it. I ate. I am such an
industrial food guy. It's funny because I'm the opposite of
every other kid in school. The only meal I did
not like was pizza. So on Fridays I brought food
from home.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Oh my god, you were the person.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
And ate the boiled hot I ate everything, the meat loaf,
the chicken that they had, this chicken patty that I
don't even know what it was, chip delicious, thuff, yeah,
sloppy Joe's. I ate everything, and I loved it. I
didn't love the hamburgers, but everything else I ate. Turkey
on I got turkey was like a feast.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
It's like a smell. I feel like all great school
cafeterias smell the same. It doesn't matter where you are
in the continental United States, if you walk into a
school cafeteria, it will always smell the same.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Do you remember safety Pup?
Speaker 1 (10:28):
I do not remember sety pup.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Safety Pup was on the side of the little milk
cartons that you would get for a quarter in the cafeteria. Yeah.
He would always have a little uh you know, hey,
kids just say no. It was always like some kind
of you know, eighties thing. Drug.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
Yeah, we're gonna stop everyone from doing drugs with safety pup.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
And dare Yeah. Keep talking. I'm gonna look up safety
Pup because I'm a bet you it's a thing.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
The chocolate milk they always had two tasted the same,
the every milk. I feel like it's the same in schools,
the plays.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Not anymore. Now there's lactose free and free and everything free,
you know, for the people that can't eat vegans and
all this stuff.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
There's vegan kids.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Yeah please really?
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Uh huh are any of your daughter's friends vegan? Oh?
Hold on one second?
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Oh here we go both on phones. Oh wait, wait?
What do we do talk? What am I supposed to do?
I don't know what to do? All right? So here's
Oh this is you know what I'm looking up, Safety Pup.
It doesn't I don't think that this is him. It
could be it's his, for it's from the eighties, you know,
I think this is him. Do you remember this guy,
Safety Pup? He was on the side of the milk cartons.
(11:34):
I wish I could find a milk carton. Oh yeah,
there it is. How funny. See I knew, I knew
what I was talking about. Safety Pup says, never take
short cuts on the way home. See, and then milk
was a quarter. But I guess I'm dating myself because
I think it's a dollar now. But actually, now during
(11:55):
COVID they are giving kids free lunches in my district anyway.
I don't if it's a state wide thing or a
federal thing or whatever it is. But I order lunch
for Cooper in school every day. Ashley, a little bit older,
not into lunch in the cafeteria. She always brings stuff
from home. All right, So we were just talking about
safety pop Andrew.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Sorry, I had a work call. Uh huh with Elvis.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
So did we do enough? Or you want to go?
Speaker 1 (12:21):
This is what ten minutes?
Speaker 2 (12:22):
I don't know, twelve?
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Oh? What? See? I feel like natural conversation. This is
how we actually talk to each other when it was
pre pandemic.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
No, we don't. We always yelled at each other.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Well, I mean we still yell at each other. I
mean I made fun of you for the first five
minutes of this podcast, just like I would pre pandemic
sitting watch you eat a donut, and you would have
used a glove to eat a donut pre pandemic as well.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
That's not true, but only because there were no gloves
readily available. Now they're everywhere, and I know, if.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Anything, it supports your weird thing.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
I don't like to get my hands dirty, and now
I don't have to go wash my hands again.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
In your defense, I have a weird phobia of I
don't like that, I don't like condiments like mustard or.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Okay, let's just end it. Okay, say Clink Andrew Clink.
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