April 8, 2024 • 18 mins
Expectations were high…results were disappointing. We’ll try one of the new Extra cereals from Kellogg’s, then a super random cereal from “Mexico”, and some granola that should have been really good, from Kellys.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
What up, fool? What? What up?
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Fool? No?
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Yeah, no, we're not doing that today, babes.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Today's April Fool's Day. Andrew, Oh okay, I pity the
fool who said that. Mister T all right, p mister
T Cereal, not mister T, just the cereal.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
But what did he die?
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (00:20):
This is serial wheelers.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Hold on, I'm setting back to.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Sorry, dude, you really need to clean this up.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
What happened?
Speaker 1 (00:32):
There's so much going on in here.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
See look, it's a new day, new clothing.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
I'm gonna put this, throw this all out.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
No you're not, Yeah I am, Then you're not a
true Cereal connoisseur.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
I am just not a hoarder.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Does nothing to do with hoarding. I literally we've been
through this a thousand times.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
I am next to boxes. There's I can't stretch my
legs out without hitting box.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
This is not a relaxing area.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Back up without hitting Cereal boxes.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
This is a small space. This is terrifying, but it's
also my space. I'm getting anxious being in here. Then
get out. I don't care. I got plenty that would
like to fill this chair. You have plenty of people
that want to fill the chair. Yeah. Oh really yeah
really yep. Okay, welcome to April. First. It is Monday,
April Fool's Day, twenty twenty four. We should have like
switched seats.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Was that an April Fool's joke before?
Speaker 2 (01:19):
No, it wasn't. Oh, people are just clamoring to be
in the seat, That's right. So here's how I think
about it at any time. Here's fire. Here's how I
think I want to do this episode, Andy, since it's
carefully curated by me, I think that I would like
to carefully hoarded present the cereals in order of how
I think they will be rated. So I'm gonna think
I'm gonna do the worst cereal first, up to the
(01:40):
best cool all right, sure, so none of these three
are are really bad, I don't think so it's gonna
be close. Ready, So again, thank you to our friend mate.
Matt is a rock star. And I'm not talking about
our other friend Matt. I'm talking about our cereal friend
Matt that sends us cereals this Dude, like, thank you, Matt. Really,
I don't think you appreciate him as much as I do.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Well, I mean, you're the one who is apparently doing
everything I'm just no, here's a wonderful, easily filled Pennsylvania.
Maybe Mack can come in here filling for you. Matt
could fill in anybody can.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
He can drive on it from AMA's Country and a buggy.
He'll be here in six weeks and he could sit
in his chair.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Yeah, if he actually comes, I would let him sit.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Okay, So here's it, which I think is going to
be the lowest sawn dish soap on my hands you're
not supposed to yeah, now my hands are super dry. Yeah.
Do you know that I was at I was at
an office the other day signing some papers and vague
and so the woman who is the woman who was
(02:41):
handing me the pen, and she goes, you know, I
have to ask you, what do you use on your face?
Because your face is just it's so smooth. And she says,
I'm gonna anesthetician? Is that what that is? And I said,
I don't know, luberderm nivia. Whatever I use on my hands,
I put on my face. She's like typical guy, and
she shook her head and walked out. You know, so
first it was a compliment and then it was like
(03:02):
you shouldn't be using that crap on you see, just see, I.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Use a retinol, I have a red light mask. Yeah,
I have a whole bunch of things.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Shake Shake your Shake Guardy. By the way, you remember
who sang that song shake Your Love?
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Uh? The thesis really Debbie Debbie Gibson.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Yes, she's been very active on social media. She's got
a lot going on. Big anniversary of Electric Youth, the
CD coming out of the album, releasing her perfume Gosh,
I hope so, so you could run to the store.
I'll ride my back to the super X again and
buy it and spray it all over my pillow. Pretend
it was a girl there. What Okay, let's just get
to the cereal please. So this is from the new
line of Extra Cereals from Calloggs. I don't know why
(03:53):
it's actually named after you, because I'm so extra. This
box also Andrew ten Dollar. What is going on? I
don't and you to know what's so special about random
piece of tape? What it's a random piece of tape
on the box. It was probably a coop on that
Matt used to buy a job. Matt Extra Crispy Clusters.
This is cinnamon. They also have an almond one melt
(04:14):
in your mouth, delicious clusters. Okay, huh huh, I don't know.
I don't know what is so special about this. It's
delicately crispy clusters, extra indulgent, extra dreamy, and extra luscious.
I've never heard of cereal be described as luscious.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Luscious cereal experience.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
An extra delicious moment of pure delight from the first
bite to the last. Toasty, whole grain oats blended with
the rich buttery taste of caramelized sugar, paired perfectly with
Indonesian cinnamon, all in one delectable crispy.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Bite Indonesian cinnamon.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Wow over. They make it sound so like fufushi, but
it's literally Kellogg's Cluster cereal.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
And you know, for an every man like you, you
don't need all that.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
That's right. This is just like a oken up granola bar.
Ten dollars a box. Stupid, Not for me.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
I'm in every man.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
I am in every man.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
They could just spit in the box and hand it
to me and I would take it.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
What about that? So back to the Farmland Fresh Dairyes
fridge again for a pint of whole milk. I bought
a bunch of pints. Cool Key Food had a special
on the pints. I like these, and do you remember.
Oh oh, I'm so sad. My mom was in the
hospital like last week and the discarded food cart was
in the hallway by the elevator and somebody left a
(05:31):
Farmland Fresh Dairies half pint a fat free milk. I
was gonna take it, but I don't know how long
it was been sitting out.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Thank you Jesus, you can take it. That's like going
up to a table like.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
No, it wasn't open, that was getting cleaned. It was sealed.
But I know I could have been sitting there for hours, days,
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
No, you don't take food or beverage off of like
a cart.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
I was just more excited because it was Farmland Fresh
Dairies half pints. Yes, we used to get those in
school when we were kids.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
The little Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
I had safety pup on the side, Remember safety pup.
Cross on the green, not in between, Cross on the red,
and you'll wind up dead, safety pup said. I added
that part in that is all right, here we go. Hmm,
(06:22):
This gentlemen's really nice.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Wow, I'm feeling like this is extra indulgent. Hm hm,
extra dreaming.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Don't be a jerk, Andrew.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
And wow, that is extra luscious.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
It's not luscious, that's for sure. When I think luscious,
I think of one of those chocolate covered cherries with
the goo spilling out of it. That's luscious like chocolate.
You could have just said the chocolate, not goo. No,
the cherry goo in the middle. That's the lushiest part.
Sarah's right, selahs sellas the individually wrapped the cherries, they
would come out like Christmas time or I hate or
(06:57):
Valentine's all my favorite. I could sucked down one of
those cherries a whole gallon I love.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
I don't need to hear about you sucking down lush
his cherries.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
You listen.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
I give this four bowls. They're good. The cinnamon taste
is good. It's an overall good cereal.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
I like it. I don't know if it's worth ten dollars, no,
but it's good. The cinnamon flavor is really not the
Indonesian cinnamon. Yeah, Chef's kiss.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
All cereals now need to have Indonesian cinnamon or I
won't try them.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Yeah, well, so you know what, I may have done
this wrong? Because I said this was going to be
the least rated cereal. Well you should know that I
like cinnamon cereals. Yeah, but I just thought it was
gonna be really an overblown thing. Oh okay, so all right,
very good, Andrew, it's heavy too. That's a heavy box,
all right now. Okay, our friend Matt also sent us
this one. This is also from the map pot. Please
(07:44):
you see the thing is I have to send that out.
It's autographed. Oh and every time someone squeezes it and
rubs the autograph off.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Stop doesn't look like stop it stop doesn't look like it.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
All right, So this is from Mexico. It does have
a best by date of February twenty twenty four, but
that's just merely a month ago. So it's all good.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Now Wait, I'm so sorry who wrote this post it Matt,
February twenty twenty four, date Mexico.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
What's the cereals from Mexico? What is telling us where
it was from?
Speaker 1 (08:11):
What is date?
Speaker 2 (08:12):
That's the date of That's the date on the box.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
Honestly, like this looks like it would be on like
a wall to solve a murder case, all right, like
Mexico In quotes why is Mexico In quotes it came
from Mexico.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
There's so many that doesn't make sense. Okay, so that's
like saying this.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Is New York. No, I'm actually in the state of
New York right now.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
She's telling us where it came from.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
But quotes implies it that it's not Mexico.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Oh so maybe it's not. There's just there's a whole
lot about this box that we need to we need
to die. Let's have this Mexican cereal. So the name
of the brand is Pampa, Pampa, Pampa, Pampa, Pampa. Probably pampa.
If it's from Mexico, it's probably pampa. What is pampa?
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Okay, Dora, I didn't know you could teach me Spanish.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
What does pampa mean in English? You can translate into
English and many other languages. Okay, she doesn't want to
help anyway, By idiot, these are fruity wheels. Okay, so
they're fruit loops, Yeah, fake frut loops.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
I was thinking that they were gonna when I saw
the name fruity wheels, I was thinking it was gonna
be an actual wheel.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Like a wagon wheel. Yeah, like Darius Rucker a mom
rock love that song. I know. I can't wait to
see him this summer. No fine, because he's playing with
Hooty and the Blowfish at Jones Beach. But they do
all the country stuff too.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Oh my friend Alexa would actually probably like the Hooty
in the Blowfish part.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
I need tickets.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Yeah, I'm sure they won't be hard.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Yeah that's rude. I saw him there in nineteen ninety
six at the Jones Beach, at the Jones Beach. I
have a picture.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Tom lives and Gina live over by Jones Beach, really
very close.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
They live on Long Beach. Yeah, they're far down the road.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
It takes them maybe fifteen twenty minutes to get there.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Sweet and Multi Grain Cereal. There's a link that.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
You know, just you generalize Long Beach and then just said, no,
they don't.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
In large enlarged image to show texture, like if these
are in large, look, if these are enlarged, then this
must be really little, right, because they're saying that this is.
And there's also pictures of cherries and strawberries and bananas.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Because maybe that's the flavors.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
There's no bananas in fruit loops.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Well, maybe that's why this one's different.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
There's so many ingredients here that I don't even know
what they are. And it's distributed by Transitional Foods. That's
the name of the company that makes this, and it
also contains bioengineered food ingredients. I'm a little bit scared about.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
The dollar forty nine. We're from ten dollars luxury cereal
to dollar forty nine Mexico cereal with a post it note.
I'm sorry, just look at this treasure.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Please tell me why is Mexico eat quotes? Because he's
telling us where it's from.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
But you don't need the quotes. Then that's not how
grammar works.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Okay, it really has no smell whatsoever.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Okay, So these were enlarged, right, that's it.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Don'tstic fingers and no hand jamming. Look at that that
is not in large. No, these are actually these are enlarged.
These were shrunk. Honey, I shrunk the cereal. I hate you.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
That was.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Oh you know something. There's light green ones in here
that might be actually what they're calling banana light green. Yeah,
these are weird. There's blue, red, orange?
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Is this mine?
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Yellow? Yeah? It was yours? Okay, okay, oh someone, oh
there we go, here we go. Andrew fruity wheels from
Pampa Pampa Pampa Transitional Foods a.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Dollar forty nine from Mexico that.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
He found in Pennsylvania.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Wow, No, that's all lot.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
The crunch is weird. The artificial flavor tastes very chemically. Yeah,
it doesn't taste like fruit lops.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
It tastes like you can't sell this in California because
it can't answer. Yeah, I feel like I just ate.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
It tastes wanna be fruit loops.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
There is no banana taste, there's no strawberry taste, nothing,
there's no cherry taste.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
And also my throat is burning, just saying yeah, this
gets a spoon. It's not even good. I didn't have
to spit it out, but I would not buy this.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Serious flavor washes off way too quick. I give this
a bowl a spoon, eh, a bowl?
Speaker 2 (12:10):
One bowl? All right, So I really messed up because
I thought this was gonna be okay, let.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Me just take a quick picture of the company. So
this way, if I wind up getting a disease, I'm
telling you, is your throat burning, Yeah, but who knows
what that could be from?
Speaker 2 (12:25):
It's this. My throat never burns, but it's burning Yeah,
that was not good. I think Matt is trying to
kill us. Huh. All right, I got to play something
here so we can get out of here and come back.
I don't know, Andrew, please give me some.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Have anything in the Cereal Graveyard that we could do
that has to be pre planned.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
I'm Wilford Brimley and I've had diabetes for about twenty
years and we're back. I'm gonna marked it down for you.
Andy twelve fifty three.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
Remember when you were going to start doing Cereal Graveyard again?
Speaker 2 (12:55):
I do, and I have a lot of things in mind.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Great, so then maybe you should start doing them.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
I need to find the gravestone that ever made it
over from.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Sure we could just do it without it.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
I need props. I need props.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
You really don't.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Yeah, I need a picture? Is props the whole thing?
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Cool?
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Because that adds to the experience for sure. So it's
never gonna happen anyway. Let's get to the third Cereal
all right? This one's in a bag.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
It God gets off free again.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
This one I bought Kelly's Family Foods. It's four plus
cherry chocolate. You don't like what cherries? Does your throw
clothes up, oats, non GMO canola oil, honey, maple syrup,
cherries and chocolate. Oh, this is gonna be my favorite
cereal of the day.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
I just I don't get it.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
What.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
I just don't like it.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Cherry get the.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Cherry chocolate thing. I just, oh my god, how funny
you were talking about cherries and chocolate being like your
favorite candy around Christmas time.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
I didn't even remember I had this.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
Maybe you didn't take your prevagen today, but.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
I really needed I wish it wasn't so expensive. Can
you please sponsor this podcast prevaging? Yeah, seriously, we can
have milk and drugs.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Right, it's a medicine.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Well, no, it's a supplement, actually supplement. Yeah, so it
It just looks like a whole bunch of oats. There's
a few cherries thrown in, and a couple of chunks
of chocolate. That's what I'm getting from this. It just
literally smells like granola. Disgusting. Why is it disgusting?
Speaker 1 (14:16):
I just don't want it here, Andrew, It's just the
chocolate tastes.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Try to get a little bit of everything on your spood.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
The same. My first cereal Rodeo HM.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
The cherries are really hard and chewy and tastes burnt. Almost.
I really wanted to like us, but I don't.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
Mm hmmm m there's a decent chocolate taste.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
No, I don't even think it does. Is it dark chocolate? Yeah?
I'm still trying to get through this cherry. Mm hmm.
It's like not good. It's really ashamed. Oh look at
the nice people on the back Andrew.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
Oh god, Cordy, please don't tell me that. It's like, oh,
we'll started this company after like our dog passed away.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Nate or Nato. I can't tell the middle one. What
was the name on that middle one? What?
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Nato? Nato?
Speaker 2 (15:13):
I think it's Nate.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
Just a bad Oh, it say it right here. The
Kelly family was very active and competitive rowing, so when
Cordy's two oldest sons, Nate and Will, asked her to
make a healthy snack for their training program, she baked
a hearty batch of nutty granola. The boys loved it,
took it to their workouts and races, shared it with
their teammates and friends, and everybody wanted to know where
can I buy it. That's how it all began, just
(15:35):
as basically Nepo Baby Cereals.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Trail mix is what it is. I guess right, Yeah,
just snack mix. You know what. I just got the
chunk of chocolate, which is not bad.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
They're rowing, they are. If they're rowing, they're rich.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
I'm gonna give this thing up. I'm gonna give this
thing two balls.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Yeah that yeah, that sounds fair.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
I like the chocolate chunks. The cherries are way too chewy,
and it's not old. It's good till November.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
I would like it without cherries, and I'd like it
without the chocolate. I think you got something. You got
me Kelly's. I think you got me on the oaths.
They have other varieties, and do you did you buy them?
Speaker 2 (16:07):
I didn't. What do you want to do? Fill cart
with Kelly's and spend one hundred dollars?
Speaker 1 (16:10):
No? No, no, you know, especially if it's going into
their pockets. They don't need the money. Why I'm saying,
they're entrepreneurs.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
Who cares? They started a business.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
I know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
You don't want anybody to fail, No except maybe Pampa
whatever they are.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Pampas being sold wherever this is, I I don't know.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Yeah, they should transition back to like dog food or
whatever they came from. Oh wow, well, I don't know
what said. The Transitional Foods is the company.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
And Transitional Food makes dog food.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
No, but they should, Oh okay, they should. Whatever.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Anyway, we came full circle.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
Yeah, okay, thank you so much for listening to serial Killers.
Just probably what do you doing? No? I didn't do
that because I didn't want to rip the name off
for the picture picture picture Andrew. I purposely tore it
like that. Oh you purposely toy? Yes, I carefully went
over the God. I do things with things in mind.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Yeah, of course you do. Gosh, my god rips, he
rips cautiously.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
I do.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
Okay, I always do. Yeah, sure, sure, sure champ.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Okay, follow us please on all social serial Killers piece.
Check out our friends Farmland Fresh Dairies on Instagram.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
But what did you think I was going to rate
any of these cereals?
Speaker 2 (17:13):
I don't know. It's went in order.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
No, you said this is perfectly curated, and you were
gonna do it from like what you thought we would
rate it?
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Right, right? I thought this was gonna be good like
fruit loops. Okay, so thought it was in the middle
of the road. Okay, and then I thought that was
gonna be the worst.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
You thought that was gonna be the worst.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Yeah, okay, So anyway, yeah, do you know how many
people say when Diamond comes in and just ruins everything, Hey, careful, careful,
no cursing.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
I'm not gonna do it.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Please, Okay, Andrew's eating just pure marshmallows right now. Yeah,
I'm not like that. Now.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
It's a bad episode now that I come in. Cereals
were discussed.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Holy over ow, thanks for listening.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
He leaves it all on the floor.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
They cleaned all that confetti up last time.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
And how nice is that?
Speaker 2 (18:03):
It's wonderful. That's what we pay them for.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Oh, you pay them out of your pocket. Thank you
so much for listening.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Check us out, cyreal, you're Diamonds yelling in there. Check
us out at Serial KILLERSPC dot com. You can see
all the cereals that we reviewed over one thousand now,
which is insane.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Cool.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Have a great week. We'll see you soon with a
bold chat. That's the sister podcast to this podcast where
we just talk about whatever. And Andrew barates me for
thirty minutes. Oh please say crime.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Ch Andrew correct? Oh man, I threw away my water
and it's cold. What the water was cold?
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Where to get you?
Speaker 1 (18:37):
Got on my hands.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
Okay, gotta go. Bye,
What up, fool? What? What up?
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Fool? No?
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Yeah, no, we're not doing that today, babes.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Today's April Fool's Day. Andrew, Oh okay, I pity the
fool who said that. Mister T all right, p mister
T Cereal, not mister T, just the cereal.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
But what did he die?
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (00:20):
This is serial wheelers.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Hold on, I'm setting back to.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Sorry, dude, you really need to clean this up.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
What happened?
Speaker 1 (00:32):
There's so much going on in here.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
See look, it's a new day, new clothing.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
I'm gonna put this, throw this all out.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
No you're not, Yeah I am, Then you're not a
true Cereal connoisseur.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
I am just not a hoarder.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Does nothing to do with hoarding. I literally we've been
through this a thousand times.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
I am next to boxes. There's I can't stretch my
legs out without hitting box.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
This is not a relaxing area.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Back up without hitting Cereal boxes.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
This is a small space. This is terrifying, but it's
also my space. I'm getting anxious being in here. Then
get out. I don't care. I got plenty that would
like to fill this chair. You have plenty of people
that want to fill the chair. Yeah. Oh really yeah
really yep. Okay, welcome to April. First. It is Monday,
April Fool's Day, twenty twenty four. We should have like
switched seats.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Was that an April Fool's joke before?
Speaker 2 (01:19):
No, it wasn't. Oh, people are just clamoring to be
in the seat, That's right. So here's how I think
about it at any time. Here's fire. Here's how I
think I want to do this episode, Andy, since it's
carefully curated by me, I think that I would like
to carefully hoarded present the cereals in order of how
I think they will be rated. So I'm gonna think
I'm gonna do the worst cereal first, up to the
(01:40):
best cool all right, sure, so none of these three
are are really bad, I don't think so it's gonna
be close. Ready, So again, thank you to our friend mate.
Matt is a rock star. And I'm not talking about
our other friend Matt. I'm talking about our cereal friend
Matt that sends us cereals this Dude, like, thank you, Matt. Really,
I don't think you appreciate him as much as I do.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Well, I mean, you're the one who is apparently doing
everything I'm just no, here's a wonderful, easily filled Pennsylvania.
Maybe Mack can come in here filling for you. Matt
could fill in anybody can.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
He can drive on it from AMA's Country and a buggy.
He'll be here in six weeks and he could sit
in his chair.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Yeah, if he actually comes, I would let him sit.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Okay, So here's it, which I think is going to
be the lowest sawn dish soap on my hands you're
not supposed to yeah, now my hands are super dry. Yeah.
Do you know that I was at I was at
an office the other day signing some papers and vague
and so the woman who is the woman who was
(02:41):
handing me the pen, and she goes, you know, I
have to ask you, what do you use on your face?
Because your face is just it's so smooth. And she says,
I'm gonna anesthetician? Is that what that is? And I said,
I don't know, luberderm nivia. Whatever I use on my hands,
I put on my face. She's like typical guy, and
she shook her head and walked out. You know, so
first it was a compliment and then it was like
(03:02):
you shouldn't be using that crap on you see, just see, I.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Use a retinol, I have a red light mask. Yeah,
I have a whole bunch of things.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Shake Shake your Shake Guardy. By the way, you remember
who sang that song shake Your Love?
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Uh? The thesis really Debbie Debbie Gibson.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Yes, she's been very active on social media. She's got
a lot going on. Big anniversary of Electric Youth, the
CD coming out of the album, releasing her perfume Gosh,
I hope so, so you could run to the store.
I'll ride my back to the super X again and
buy it and spray it all over my pillow. Pretend
it was a girl there. What Okay, let's just get
to the cereal please. So this is from the new
line of Extra Cereals from Calloggs. I don't know why
(03:53):
it's actually named after you, because I'm so extra. This
box also Andrew ten Dollar. What is going on? I
don't and you to know what's so special about random
piece of tape? What it's a random piece of tape
on the box. It was probably a coop on that
Matt used to buy a job. Matt Extra Crispy Clusters.
This is cinnamon. They also have an almond one melt
(04:14):
in your mouth, delicious clusters. Okay, huh huh, I don't know.
I don't know what is so special about this. It's
delicately crispy clusters, extra indulgent, extra dreamy, and extra luscious.
I've never heard of cereal be described as luscious.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Luscious cereal experience.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
An extra delicious moment of pure delight from the first
bite to the last. Toasty, whole grain oats blended with
the rich buttery taste of caramelized sugar, paired perfectly with
Indonesian cinnamon, all in one delectable crispy.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Bite Indonesian cinnamon.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Wow over. They make it sound so like fufushi, but
it's literally Kellogg's Cluster cereal.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
And you know, for an every man like you, you
don't need all that.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
That's right. This is just like a oken up granola bar.
Ten dollars a box. Stupid, Not for me.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
I'm in every man.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
I am in every man.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
They could just spit in the box and hand it
to me and I would take it.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
What about that? So back to the Farmland Fresh Dairyes
fridge again for a pint of whole milk. I bought
a bunch of pints. Cool Key Food had a special
on the pints. I like these, and do you remember.
Oh oh, I'm so sad. My mom was in the
hospital like last week and the discarded food cart was
in the hallway by the elevator and somebody left a
(05:31):
Farmland Fresh Dairies half pint a fat free milk. I
was gonna take it, but I don't know how long
it was been sitting out.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Thank you Jesus, you can take it. That's like going
up to a table like.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
No, it wasn't open, that was getting cleaned. It was sealed.
But I know I could have been sitting there for hours, days,
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
No, you don't take food or beverage off of like
a cart.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
I was just more excited because it was Farmland Fresh
Dairies half pints. Yes, we used to get those in
school when we were kids.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
The little Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
I had safety pup on the side, Remember safety pup.
Cross on the green, not in between, Cross on the red,
and you'll wind up dead, safety pup said. I added
that part in that is all right, here we go. Hmm,
(06:22):
This gentlemen's really nice.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Wow, I'm feeling like this is extra indulgent. Hm hm,
extra dreaming.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Don't be a jerk, Andrew.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
And wow, that is extra luscious.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
It's not luscious, that's for sure. When I think luscious,
I think of one of those chocolate covered cherries with
the goo spilling out of it. That's luscious like chocolate.
You could have just said the chocolate, not goo. No,
the cherry goo in the middle. That's the lushiest part.
Sarah's right, selahs sellas the individually wrapped the cherries, they
would come out like Christmas time or I hate or
(06:57):
Valentine's all my favorite. I could sucked down one of
those cherries a whole gallon I love.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
I don't need to hear about you sucking down lush
his cherries.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
You listen.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
I give this four bowls. They're good. The cinnamon taste
is good. It's an overall good cereal.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
I like it. I don't know if it's worth ten dollars, no,
but it's good. The cinnamon flavor is really not the
Indonesian cinnamon. Yeah, Chef's kiss.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
All cereals now need to have Indonesian cinnamon or I
won't try them.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Yeah, well, so you know what, I may have done
this wrong? Because I said this was going to be
the least rated cereal. Well you should know that I
like cinnamon cereals. Yeah, but I just thought it was
gonna be really an overblown thing. Oh okay, so all right,
very good, Andrew, it's heavy too. That's a heavy box,
all right now. Okay, our friend Matt also sent us
this one. This is also from the map pot. Please
(07:44):
you see the thing is I have to send that out.
It's autographed. Oh and every time someone squeezes it and
rubs the autograph off.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Stop doesn't look like stop it stop doesn't look like it.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
All right, So this is from Mexico. It does have
a best by date of February twenty twenty four, but
that's just merely a month ago. So it's all good.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Now Wait, I'm so sorry who wrote this post it Matt,
February twenty twenty four, date Mexico.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
What's the cereals from Mexico? What is telling us where
it was from?
Speaker 1 (08:11):
What is date?
Speaker 2 (08:12):
That's the date of That's the date on the box.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
Honestly, like this looks like it would be on like
a wall to solve a murder case, all right, like
Mexico In quotes why is Mexico In quotes it came
from Mexico.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
There's so many that doesn't make sense. Okay, so that's
like saying this.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Is New York. No, I'm actually in the state of
New York right now.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
She's telling us where it came from.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
But quotes implies it that it's not Mexico.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Oh so maybe it's not. There's just there's a whole
lot about this box that we need to we need
to die. Let's have this Mexican cereal. So the name
of the brand is Pampa, Pampa, Pampa, Pampa, Pampa. Probably pampa.
If it's from Mexico, it's probably pampa. What is pampa?
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Okay, Dora, I didn't know you could teach me Spanish.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
What does pampa mean in English? You can translate into
English and many other languages. Okay, she doesn't want to
help anyway, By idiot, these are fruity wheels. Okay, so
they're fruit loops, Yeah, fake frut loops.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
I was thinking that they were gonna when I saw
the name fruity wheels, I was thinking it was gonna
be an actual wheel.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Like a wagon wheel. Yeah, like Darius Rucker a mom
rock love that song. I know. I can't wait to
see him this summer. No fine, because he's playing with
Hooty and the Blowfish at Jones Beach. But they do
all the country stuff too.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Oh my friend Alexa would actually probably like the Hooty
in the Blowfish part.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
I need tickets.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Yeah, I'm sure they won't be hard.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Yeah that's rude. I saw him there in nineteen ninety
six at the Jones Beach, at the Jones Beach. I
have a picture.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Tom lives and Gina live over by Jones Beach, really
very close.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
They live on Long Beach. Yeah, they're far down the road.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
It takes them maybe fifteen twenty minutes to get there.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Sweet and Multi Grain Cereal. There's a link that.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
You know, just you generalize Long Beach and then just said, no,
they don't.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
In large enlarged image to show texture, like if these
are in large, look, if these are enlarged, then this
must be really little, right, because they're saying that this is.
And there's also pictures of cherries and strawberries and bananas.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Because maybe that's the flavors.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
There's no bananas in fruit loops.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Well, maybe that's why this one's different.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
There's so many ingredients here that I don't even know
what they are. And it's distributed by Transitional Foods. That's
the name of the company that makes this, and it
also contains bioengineered food ingredients. I'm a little bit scared about.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
The dollar forty nine. We're from ten dollars luxury cereal
to dollar forty nine Mexico cereal with a post it note.
I'm sorry, just look at this treasure.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Please tell me why is Mexico eat quotes? Because he's
telling us where it's from.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
But you don't need the quotes. Then that's not how
grammar works.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Okay, it really has no smell whatsoever.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Okay, So these were enlarged, right, that's it.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Don'tstic fingers and no hand jamming. Look at that that
is not in large. No, these are actually these are enlarged.
These were shrunk. Honey, I shrunk the cereal. I hate you.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
That was.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Oh you know something. There's light green ones in here
that might be actually what they're calling banana light green. Yeah,
these are weird. There's blue, red, orange?
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Is this mine?
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Yellow? Yeah? It was yours? Okay, okay, oh someone, oh
there we go, here we go. Andrew fruity wheels from
Pampa Pampa Pampa Transitional Foods a.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Dollar forty nine from Mexico that.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
He found in Pennsylvania.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Wow, No, that's all lot.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
The crunch is weird. The artificial flavor tastes very chemically. Yeah,
it doesn't taste like fruit lops.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
It tastes like you can't sell this in California because
it can't answer. Yeah, I feel like I just ate.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
It tastes wanna be fruit loops.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
There is no banana taste, there's no strawberry taste, nothing,
there's no cherry taste.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
And also my throat is burning, just saying yeah, this
gets a spoon. It's not even good. I didn't have
to spit it out, but I would not buy this.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Serious flavor washes off way too quick. I give this
a bowl a spoon, eh, a bowl?
Speaker 2 (12:10):
One bowl? All right, So I really messed up because
I thought this was gonna be okay, let.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Me just take a quick picture of the company. So
this way, if I wind up getting a disease, I'm
telling you, is your throat burning, Yeah, but who knows
what that could be from?
Speaker 2 (12:25):
It's this. My throat never burns, but it's burning Yeah,
that was not good. I think Matt is trying to
kill us. Huh. All right, I got to play something
here so we can get out of here and come back.
I don't know, Andrew, please give me some.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Have anything in the Cereal Graveyard that we could do
that has to be pre planned.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
I'm Wilford Brimley and I've had diabetes for about twenty
years and we're back. I'm gonna marked it down for you.
Andy twelve fifty three.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
Remember when you were going to start doing Cereal Graveyard again?
Speaker 2 (12:55):
I do, and I have a lot of things in mind.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Great, so then maybe you should start doing them.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
I need to find the gravestone that ever made it
over from.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Sure we could just do it without it.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
I need props. I need props.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
You really don't.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Yeah, I need a picture? Is props the whole thing?
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Cool?
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Because that adds to the experience for sure. So it's
never gonna happen anyway. Let's get to the third Cereal
all right? This one's in a bag.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
It God gets off free again.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
This one I bought Kelly's Family Foods. It's four plus
cherry chocolate. You don't like what cherries? Does your throw
clothes up, oats, non GMO canola oil, honey, maple syrup,
cherries and chocolate. Oh, this is gonna be my favorite
cereal of the day.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
I just I don't get it.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
What.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
I just don't like it.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Cherry get the.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Cherry chocolate thing. I just, oh my god, how funny
you were talking about cherries and chocolate being like your
favorite candy around Christmas time.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
I didn't even remember I had this.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
Maybe you didn't take your prevagen today, but.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
I really needed I wish it wasn't so expensive. Can
you please sponsor this podcast prevaging? Yeah, seriously, we can
have milk and drugs.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Right, it's a medicine.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Well, no, it's a supplement, actually supplement. Yeah, so it
It just looks like a whole bunch of oats. There's
a few cherries thrown in, and a couple of chunks
of chocolate. That's what I'm getting from this. It just
literally smells like granola. Disgusting. Why is it disgusting?
Speaker 1 (14:16):
I just don't want it here, Andrew, It's just the
chocolate tastes.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Try to get a little bit of everything on your spood.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
The same. My first cereal Rodeo HM.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
The cherries are really hard and chewy and tastes burnt. Almost.
I really wanted to like us, but I don't.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
Mm hmmm m there's a decent chocolate taste.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
No, I don't even think it does. Is it dark chocolate? Yeah?
I'm still trying to get through this cherry. Mm hmm.
It's like not good. It's really ashamed. Oh look at
the nice people on the back Andrew.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
Oh god, Cordy, please don't tell me that. It's like, oh,
we'll started this company after like our dog passed away.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Nate or Nato. I can't tell the middle one. What
was the name on that middle one? What?
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Nato? Nato?
Speaker 2 (15:13):
I think it's Nate.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
Just a bad Oh, it say it right here. The
Kelly family was very active and competitive rowing, so when
Cordy's two oldest sons, Nate and Will, asked her to
make a healthy snack for their training program, she baked
a hearty batch of nutty granola. The boys loved it,
took it to their workouts and races, shared it with
their teammates and friends, and everybody wanted to know where
can I buy it. That's how it all began, just
(15:35):
as basically Nepo Baby Cereals.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Trail mix is what it is. I guess right, Yeah,
just snack mix. You know what. I just got the
chunk of chocolate, which is not bad.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
They're rowing, they are. If they're rowing, they're rich.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
I'm gonna give this thing up. I'm gonna give this
thing two balls.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Yeah that yeah, that sounds fair.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
I like the chocolate chunks. The cherries are way too chewy,
and it's not old. It's good till November.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
I would like it without cherries, and I'd like it
without the chocolate. I think you got something. You got
me Kelly's. I think you got me on the oaths.
They have other varieties, and do you did you buy them?
Speaker 2 (16:07):
I didn't. What do you want to do? Fill cart
with Kelly's and spend one hundred dollars?
Speaker 1 (16:10):
No? No, no, you know, especially if it's going into
their pockets. They don't need the money. Why I'm saying,
they're entrepreneurs.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
Who cares? They started a business.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
I know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
You don't want anybody to fail, No except maybe Pampa
whatever they are.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Pampas being sold wherever this is, I I don't know.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Yeah, they should transition back to like dog food or
whatever they came from. Oh wow, well, I don't know
what said. The Transitional Foods is the company.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
And Transitional Food makes dog food.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
No, but they should, Oh okay, they should. Whatever.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Anyway, we came full circle.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
Yeah, okay, thank you so much for listening to serial Killers.
Just probably what do you doing? No? I didn't do
that because I didn't want to rip the name off
for the picture picture picture Andrew. I purposely tore it
like that. Oh you purposely toy? Yes, I carefully went
over the God. I do things with things in mind.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Yeah, of course you do. Gosh, my god rips, he
rips cautiously.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
I do.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
Okay, I always do. Yeah, sure, sure, sure champ.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Okay, follow us please on all social serial Killers piece.
Check out our friends Farmland Fresh Dairies on Instagram.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
But what did you think I was going to rate
any of these cereals?
Speaker 2 (17:13):
I don't know. It's went in order.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
No, you said this is perfectly curated, and you were
gonna do it from like what you thought we would
rate it?
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Right, right? I thought this was gonna be good like
fruit loops. Okay, so thought it was in the middle
of the road. Okay, and then I thought that was
gonna be the worst.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
You thought that was gonna be the worst.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Yeah, okay, So anyway, yeah, do you know how many
people say when Diamond comes in and just ruins everything, Hey, careful, careful,
no cursing.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
I'm not gonna do it.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Please, Okay, Andrew's eating just pure marshmallows right now. Yeah,
I'm not like that. Now.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
It's a bad episode now that I come in. Cereals
were discussed.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Holy over ow, thanks for listening.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
He leaves it all on the floor.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
They cleaned all that confetti up last time.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
And how nice is that?
Speaker 2 (18:03):
It's wonderful. That's what we pay them for.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Oh, you pay them out of your pocket. Thank you
so much for listening.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Check us out, cyreal, you're Diamonds yelling in there. Check
us out at Serial KILLERSPC dot com. You can see
all the cereals that we reviewed over one thousand now,
which is insane.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Cool.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Have a great week. We'll see you soon with a
bold chat. That's the sister podcast to this podcast where
we just talk about whatever. And Andrew barates me for
thirty minutes. Oh please say crime.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Ch Andrew correct? Oh man, I threw away my water
and it's cold. What the water was cold?
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Where to get you?
Speaker 1 (18:37):
Got on my hands.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
Okay, gotta go. Bye,
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