Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Sami dokim, I guess tan, what's gonna be? Well?
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Tell you what's sire Rangel the Night SIMPI kim, It's.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Dead Life, Rigulin, everything from Checks Vanilla to Chrispy's.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Okay, I'm done playing the music.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Wait, okay, so I need to go get cups. I
need to go get everything, and I need to find
a quiet area.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Oh but it's eleven o'clock. We're supposed to record.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Oh my god, if it takes me a minute, you
can wait.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Wait? Also, which ones are we doing today?
Speaker 2 (00:37):
The ones that we haven't done yet?
Speaker 1 (00:39):
That really limit it when you have four different options.
Your microphone's awful, yep, because I said I need to
get headphones.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
What's headphones? Hold? Do you're still talking the same?
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Hold on? Hold on one second.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
I'm unprepared for everything. I knew we were going to
record today, but I don't have anything set up. So
I'm just gonna wander around my house now and see
what I can find. Hmm, let's see. You got some
cups over here. Gotta go back up to the kitchen
to get some spoons. I don't have any milk. What
am I gonna do? Where's the cereal that we were
(01:14):
supposed to do today. I don't know. I blue scot
off yesterday, but I'm not even ready today. What's going on?
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Well, yep, you're in my kitchen and everybody just starts
you ranting to yourself like a lunatic. Yeah, he sent
me a waffle House hat. Okay, we don't have any
more disposable cups. Oh god, you know what, I don't care.
(01:43):
Just pour it in your hand, in my hand, pour
milk in my hand. That sounds like a great idea.
How do I sound terrible?
Speaker 2 (01:50):
You're so loud and I have to adjust the volume
so annoying.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Well, you know, I don't know what you want me
to do. It's not like I chose for my voice
to be loud.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
All right, Maybe that's a little better. Better, Yeah, I
think so cool? All right? Are we ready to start
this thing?
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Cool? Welcome to Serial Killers. I'm leaving all that in
by the way.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Well, people are going to be very bored for a
solid two minutes.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
It's Friday, May first. Welcome to May. This is episode
one oh five. How was your big day yesterday? Andrew?
Speaker 1 (02:22):
So exciting?
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Did you have a nice birthday?
Speaker 1 (02:24):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Good, that's good. You're twenty nine now, Yes, you're now
the age where every woman is perpetually forever. When people say, oh,
how old are you? Twenty nine? Again, they're just twenty
nine forever.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
So joy, Oh you kid, those jokes what keep on coming?
Speaker 2 (02:43):
That's not a joke, that's that's just what it is.
You ever listened with people who wish people a happy
birthday like twenty nine? Again, you're just it's twenty nine forever.
I don't know why twenty nine is the age, but
you're it. Congratulations, thank you, thank you. And guess what else?
So I compiled a little bit of a list of
all all the cereals that came out the year that
you were born, in nineteen ninety one.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Oh so it's going to be like a post birthday
cereal graveyard.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
Well, most of them were long gone. A few of
them were still around. But do you remember Adam's Family Cereal?
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Yes? I remember the Adams Family.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
No, no, no, the cereal.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
No, not the cereal. I remember the movie?
Speaker 2 (03:20):
Well that was a cereal from Ralston that came out
in nineteen ninety one. I'm not going to play the
commercial and bore you with it, but there was also
your favorite would have been if it was still around
a cinnamon mini buns from Kellogg's.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
That was probably like the precursor to cinnabon cereal. Okay,
so you probably really would have enjoyed that.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Yeah, I do like cinnamon.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
I have to tell you, I hate when you're home.
I hate it so much. I don't even want to
do this anymore. It's not fun, is it.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Because you can't yell at me.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
No, I can yell at you. I don't care. And
also in nineteen ninety one was Double Checks. I don't
know what it was, but it was a Czech cereal
and it was called double Checks and it was made
by Ralston before they sold the brands to General Mills.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Maybe it was like a regular checks piece and then
a mini checks piece.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
No, I don't think so. I think it was something
on one side and then a different one on the
other side, like a rice on one side and a
corn on the other.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Yeah. No, I think what it was was a big
checks in a little check.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Okay, Well, we're gonna investigate and prove me right. And then,
remember we talked about Erkolo's. Erklos also came out of
nineteen ninety one, what's Ercolo's It was Steve Erkele from
Family Matters?
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Is you idiot?
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Okay? And then another big one was w WF Superstar Cereal.
Do you remember that?
Speaker 1 (04:27):
No, I was born in nineteen ninety one. I wouldn't
remember a Cereal the year I was born.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
I was Cogan and Macho Man Randy Savage. Oh yeah,
and you don't remember them. They were huge in the nineties.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
I know who the wrestlers are. I don't remember the serial.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Okay, Well tell me if you remember this when you
were a kid and Dingle, Dingle, Dingle, the ice cream
truck would come by. Okay, did they ever have thee
did they ever.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Have the single?
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Whatever they did? Whatever? Did they ever have the Wrestling
Superstars ice cream pops? It was like a cake kind
of pop with a picture of wrestler on it, and
then there was ice cream because they had that. Well,
after that, no one cared about wrestling anymore.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Yes, no, people still care about rust no I.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Know, but but you know, wrestling was huge in the
late eighties and early nineties with all those guys before
WWF changed to WWE, and you know George the Animal
Steel used to eat the turnbuckles. Who anyway, when I'm trying.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
To get on.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
I was at Schopright, I said, chop Right yesterday and
they have the ww EF whatever wrestling Superstar ice cream
sandwiches again. They have them Who's on the Who's on them?
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Now?
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Old school everything. I was so excited. I didn't buy it, though.
I took a picture and I'll post it. Okay, However,
I just have to give you one more because this
one I never even heard of, didn't know it was
a cereal. This came out in nineteen ninety one. Listen
to this, introducing Wonder Brand Cereals, a wonderful new breakfast
cereal for the whole family, for growing up, for the
(05:53):
wonder years. Wonders. These are the wad finding the moments.
These are.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
New Wonder Cereals, Apple cinnamon cornflakes, crunchy gray oat rings,
and hunting that crispy rice have a wonderful day.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Okay, that was just weird. I mean the apple cinnamon
corn flakes sound delicious.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
I thought at first it was wonder Bread Cereal.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
It is, It's.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Like, yeah, but I thought it was like white Wonderbread.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
No, that'd be boring. As all hell, just little pieces
of wonderbread. Hard No, but I mean you grew up
with wonderbread, so I guess they're like, huh, we got
a brand, let's make cereal. So I didn't even that
was a thing ever, So you know, it couldn't have
been around very long because I've never even heard of
it before, which is weird for me because that's when
I was like really into cereals. Back then. I was
(06:51):
a kid eating all this crab cereal and I never
knew that Wonder had of cereal. But whatever, I digress?
Is that what they say? Digress? Okay, great, hey, let's yeah,
let's eat some cereal. Can we eat cereal? Now? Okay,
so let's see your baggies. What do you got?
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Is it one? Oh five?
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Stop telling me numbers. You messed everything up by blowing
me off two days in a row. This one, no,
how about it? Do you have a brown one?
Speaker 1 (07:18):
Uh? This one? It's like clusters.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
Sure, let's do that one first, because I know that's one.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Of them, and it has almonds in it.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
It sure does. Well, look at you. You can spot
the almonds.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Yeah, I'm a pro with that.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Good boy.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Oh my god, I hate you When you talk like that,
it's the most annoying thing in the world.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
I have to tell you something that's very exciting is
we keep getting giant boxes. Actually, when I came in
this morning, we had a huge box of cereal from
our friend Jamie in Virginia. And we're gonna get to
those over the next couple of episodes. You're gonna be
very excited. Don't try it. I see you in the
camera eating.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
It, and stop milling it.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
So this cereal came from Nicole from New Hampshire. She
is a big fan of the show and was going
up and down on the island, was like, do you
have this one? Do you have this one? Do you
have this one? And I was like, no, we don't
have that one. So she sent us a box of
Cascadian Farm dark chocolate almond granola.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Jackie is here, She says, Hi, Hi Jackie. You know
what it smells like? Nature Valley oats and honey granola bars.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
Okay, they used to have a cereal too, you know
what was it? Nature Valley? Its serious? All right, Okay,
here we go. We're gonna pour this into the cup now.
In case you all don't know at home, Andrew and
I are doing this over FaceTime. This was the way
that we found to be the best as far as
audio goes, even though it still sounds like crap and
(08:38):
I hate every minute of it. Here we go, let's
pour the cereal. Here's your sound effect?
Speaker 1 (08:45):
What do you? Jackie's just trying all the cereal? This?
Speaker 2 (08:49):
I seriously, this is the last episode we're ever doing.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
This is the last episode.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
You said that, like, you're still using that same Milkugh,
what that's the same milk that you've been using for weeks?
Speaker 1 (09:01):
I don't know. He sent me so many and then
I asked him what they are, and he labeled them
so he should know. Oh, I labeled this one this,
that's what it is. But instead he just goes, I
don't know what it is.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Now. I can barely hear you. I'm so angry that
I just want to end it right after we try this.
There's too many people talking. I can't edit things out.
I hate you so much. Don't you have a bunker downstairs?
Speaker 1 (09:23):
A bunker?
Speaker 2 (09:24):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (09:25):
No, I don't have a bunker.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
Archie bunker? Who's that? I know? Eat this? Can we
just eat this? I want to go home, Go ready,
uh uh uh huh, Jackie is correct. It tastes just
like a Nature Valley chocolate granola bar chopped up in
the little pieces, which really doesn't like what's the matter
(09:48):
with you?
Speaker 1 (09:49):
It tastes like a chocolate covered cherry.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
No, there's no cherry here at all, I.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
Know, but it tastes like that to me. I don't
like that. It's disgusting. I give this two bowls.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
If it was discuss you give it much less than
two balls, So give me another adjective. It's gross, So
two balls and it's gross. I think I think we
have to break up. I think this is our breakup
right here, right now.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
Hey, do you go to Montalk often with your shirt?
Speaker 2 (10:16):
Hey? Do you go to Miami often with your sweatshirt?
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Joe? But I went to school here so I can
wear it.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
You go to school?
Speaker 1 (10:22):
Yes? I did? Right? I don't.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
I don't. I don't want to do this anymore. Okay,
look what's going on now? You're working at waffle house?
Speaker 1 (10:29):
Well, there is only I could only go down after
doing a cereal podcast.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Wait, could I please take a picture?
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Yep? As it is. My mom is rearranging dollar Bill's
loudly in the corner. Jackie sitting next to me, trying
all the cereals. David, her husband's in the corner eating cereal.
Moon is probably barking somewhere.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
This is spectacular anyway, I'm going to give it three
balls in a spoon because I kind of like it.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
No, it's nasty and I'm not a fan.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
All right, Hey, can you come into the studio for
our next episode?
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Oh yeah, let me just risk my own there's no
life risking.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
Just come on in. Just put on a mask of
some gloves and getting a bubble and come in.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Yeah. Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
By the way, you know, it's really cool. Just moments ago,
some police officers threw a woman up against Skeary's car
parked out front and arrested her. And we watched it
out the window and you should have seen. You should
have seen, scary. That's my car. That's my car.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Of course, he doesn't actually care about anyone call.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
It was fantastic. I don't know what happened. I guess
we'll find out, all right. So take the next bag out.
Let me see what it looks like this one.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
No, can you show me what the box looks like.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
They're flakes, they're flakes and clusters. Yeah, that's it. What
that is.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Nature's valley or cascadient of five or one?
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Nature's Valley doesn't make cereal anymore. You know nothing about cereal?
Speaker 1 (11:47):
You know this.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Welcome to serial killers with little clusters in them. You
don't even care. I just want to get it over with.
This one's been around since two thousand and eight or so.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
My cups smell weird.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
They smell.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
Well. I'm using plastic solo cups. So yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
Fiber one also has that one that we ate that's
like bird nest, you know, the big long things. And
they also have the strawberry one that you didn't really like.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
No, I don't like artificial strawberries. You know this.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
It's not artificial, They're real. They're just dry.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Well, I don't like dried strawberries. Are you ready?
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Yeah? Sure, here we go? One? Two, three?
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Hmmmm.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
It tastes like molasses? Right? Where is that? What is
that flavor?
Speaker 1 (12:35):
The tea one that I like that I bought for you.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Just tastes nothing. I'm like macho green tea. Noic If
this tastes like tumeric at all, I would have split
it right at a screen.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
No taste check the ingredients. Turmeric is one of them,
my bet.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Oh yeah, okay, let's see whole green wheat. Oh clus,
I'm reading corn syrup, whole green rice, salt, natural flavor, barley,
malt extract, cinnamon. Maybe that's what you're tasting. Vitamin e,
corn brand sugar, whole grain, blah blah blah, brand, corn syrup, salt, honey,
blah blah blah. There's no turmeric.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Oh well, look I was right.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
There's no turmeric in here.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Yeah there is. There's not, no there is.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
It's very good though. I like it. I'm going to
give it four bowls by itself.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Like the flakes are really.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Good and it's full of fiber.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
Oh, fantastic, Just what I was looking for in my diet.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Taste so good, you'll forget the fiber. What you don't
even know what that is?
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Do I know anything that you say?
Speaker 2 (13:28):
You don't remember fruit and fiber cereal from the eighties
and nineties, you know what?
Speaker 1 (13:31):
I'll just say, sure, Yeah, it was my favorite.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
I love fruit and fiber. Taste so good, you'll forget
the fiber.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Okay, buy itself. I like it with milk. I don't
like it you gave it, I'm going to give it
without milk.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
No, we don't do that.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
No without four, but with two and a half.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
So it's two balls and a spoon. Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Okay, taste way better without it.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
I just want to end this. It's not very long,
but I'm kind of over this. I don't like the
way this works out when we're not together. So I
think the next episode is going to be not Andrew.
Oh okay, yeah, if you could please tweet us who
you would like to replace Andrew at Serial Killer's PC.
Here are your options, Nate or Scary, because that's all
I got left that's in the building. I need somebody
(14:15):
that's in the building. I can't do it like this anymore.
It's very frustrating.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
You're so curmudgeting. It's so funny. Hey, you're like an
adult child.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
No, I'm just an adult that is sad and is
missing his friend.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
And you know I is, you too, But you don't
have to be a cranky baby.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
But I don't like the quality of these podcasts, and
it's so annoying to edit. You have no idea.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
I didn't get to try this one, and I really
like it.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
That's the very one.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
Yeah, I like it. Did do that with Danielle? Or
did we do this last time?
Speaker 2 (14:45):
I did it with Daniell? Let's Cashi go wander.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
I'm a big fan of this.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Really sorry that you didn't get to rate it, but
you blew me off that day so you didn't get
to do it.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
You make it seem like I'm purposely avoiding you when
I actually have work to be doing.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
Okay, well, today you said you were going to start
late because you had to go for a run. We'll
just get up earlier. You're not doing anything.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
I'm already waking up at five forty.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
Why why would you do such.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
A thing because I have to be up for the show?
Speaker 2 (15:09):
No, you don't, Yes, I do. I work. What do
you make in Elvis' schedule? You got lunch today? Like?
What are you doing?
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Well? He does left his grilled cheeses on Wednesdays, so
I do have to make sure that he has the groceries.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Ready, So you have to remind him on his calendar
that he has to make grilled cheese. All right, that's cool.
Thanks for listening one, Thanks for listening to Cereal Killers.
This has been spectacular.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Let me tell you something. This was terrible the cereals
you gave me this class.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
You go wonder wander, wonder wander as it like to
walk around.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
So I'm wondering why you didn't let me do casa
wonder wander. That's it because this is a globe. This
is like four balls and a spoon worthy.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Well, you were supposed to do it with me, but
you didn't. Just keep being stop eating what are you doing?
Speaker 1 (15:55):
But this is delicious.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
That's not on your schedule for lunch. Stop eating that.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Well, I'm gonna go run it off anyway. All right,
Millennial is a new working out.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
Yeah, this has been Serial Killers one oh five. I
don't know no one's listening anymore. You can. You could
see on our statistics that their numbers are just going down.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
That's actually not true, but I mean, if you want
to go with that.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
Shore, have you found some way to promote this podcast
so people know that we're here?
Speaker 1 (16:19):
Yeah? On our screener we have over a thousand people
just subscribe to us. I have no idea how or why,
but a thousand people just subscribe to us. We can't
new subscribers like every day.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
That's good to know. This is really going to put
us over the top. This episode is people are going
to be thrilled.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Well, if anything, they're not going to be thrilled by
your lack of enthusiasm. I'm here trying to be Chipper Chip.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Hey, everybody, I'm Scotti being I love Cereal. That's Andrew
over there, and he's a dick. All right, we gotta
go follow us on social media. Serial Killers PC. That's
Cereal with a c oh look at your creepy box.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
Yeah, this is my creepy box.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
Look I have another creepy box all ready to go
for you.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
This one said this is the last episode.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
This one. This one says, Zappo's on it. So when
you get it, it's not.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
Choose, you're showed tricky.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
All right, Like and subscribe. Please leave us reviews because
we love reading your reviews. There's actually been a bunch
of really good ones the last couple of days. And
thank you very much. For some reason, you guys tell
you something. You tried that on the last episode, Andrew.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Yeah, these you gave me scrap.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Episodes for the last time. You were supposed to have
them with me, but you blew me off. I was
on your schedule, but you didn't do it. Thank you
for listening. We gotta go. We're not just gonna sit
here and fight because no one wants to hear this.
We will see you on Monday. Have a nice weekend.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Yeah, have a great weekend, and maybe.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Monday we'll have three to do.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
How about that three?
Speaker 2 (17:39):
We'll go back to three three serials.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You went from complaining that
this episode is the worst episode of all time. We're
done after one o five. We're gonna have to reassess.
Tweet me who you think should be the new cost
So let's do three on Monday.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Well, Jamie sent me a lot of really fun serials,
so I want to get it to you. Okay, all right,
thanks for me.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Have fun guests too.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
Who's going to be the guest? You know, the ant
that's crawling across your floor. What's going to be the
fun guest?
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Well, my dad wants to do an episode only if.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
He has a Quaker costume in the closet. That's the rule.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
I'll print out the Quaker face and then he'll just square
that the whole time.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
You have all weekend to make a costume. Okay, all right,
Let's get the hell out of here, have a great weekend.
We'll see you Monday, and say Crunch, Yeah I did
it because you don't care anymore.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
Okay, yeah, of course, just blame it on me for
your attitude.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
Just take crunch that we can go. Love you, Andrew,
so we can go. Bye bye Crunch. Bruh, you said brunch,
Stupid Andrew.