136- Brody Hates to Fly! - 10/25/17

Brody, Skeery and Garrett catch up about Brody's trip to LA!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
What would you talk about on your on your podcasts
minute rant session. No, not even Brody, I can feel
you wind it up. No, it's just I have a lot.
I'm jack in a box ready to pop out. I'm

(00:24):
upset you were Okay. First of all, do do do do? Do? Do? Do? Don't?
We're recording this on a Wednesday, Steering Jones and I,
as most of you know, do a Brooklyn Voice podcast,
which we're not gonna get until Friday Friday, and I
usually have a rant now on my phone. I have
like elevanteen rants ready to go. I know, so you
could use squander one here. I'm a little upset. I

(00:46):
don't know how Garrett feels about that, though. I could
go somewhere else with it to do that, like leave
the podcast and go talk somewhere else. You's gonna talk sayings,
I can just say we can. I'll hold it to
the Friday Brooklyn Voice point. I want you to just
do it right here. Garrett had something he wanted to
talk about, Well, we weren't talking about anything because we're

(01:06):
listening about your flight. I didn't even know. I didn't
even know Garrett wanted to talk about anything. You've been
you've been sitting on. It's just the three of us,
so we're not gonna get any complaints. Elvis is not
here to say this is the word worst podcast ever.
Nate isn't here to give like dirty grins and be like,
and Danielle and Bethany aren't here either for you know,

(01:26):
to change the topics. So smart for you, because you gave.
You gave little things about each and every person except
Bethany and Danielle, because those two would rip you the
biggest one if you were to mimic them whatsoever. So
you may mc nate you you miymic you mimic Elvis. Uh, well,
Elvis could rip you a good one. So but all right, yeah,

(01:48):
Brody went to l A. All right, So I had
the by the way, we talked about this in the
fourth last forty seconds of yesterday's podcast, Well pick up
where you left off because you didn't get enough time. Okay.
So yeah. Over the weekend I had a great play
measure and privilege of being given a trip out to
Los Angeles with my Walkers and Talkers podcast co host
Jamie uh great trip, beautiful hotel. We went out to

(02:11):
cover the hundredth episode season premiere of The Walking Dad.
We got on the red carpet was great, and we
flew the same airline to and from. I don't need
to mention the airline's name, but it wasn't jet Blue.
Love jet Blue, And when you fly an airline that
isn't Jet Blue not a sponsor, you're reminded that not
every airline does the really nice little things that Jet

(02:32):
Blue does. So on the way there, there's like a
menu screen in front of you. You can watch TV
shows and movies and whatnot. Some of the TV shows
were like season one episodes of shows I hadn't seen,
but they didn't have episodes one and two. They started
with like episode three, three, four, and five. How does
that help anybody? What the one person who happened to

(02:52):
watch episodes one and two, it's like, oh great, they
have episode three. So f that entertainment center. Disclaimer, Brody
also doesn't fly a lot. Yeah, So I need I need.
I need a constant stimulation. And like a child that
needs something to do, I am not I am not,
I am not so okay, so I need stimulation. So

(03:13):
we didn't buy any food because on the website it
said the plane had WiFi, and it had meals. And
by the way, the flight from Los Angeles to New
York is about five hours, the long flight both ways
about okay. So I didn't buy a meal because it
said on the website meals and WiFi. Now the plane ticket,
because we were booked last minute. I looked at the

(03:35):
price was nine dollars, right, So for nine dollars, they
still wanted dollars to check my bag, so I didn't
check my bag. They wanted uh seven or eight dollars
for the one sandwich they offered. The only thing that
was free was the soda. The chips were the chips
course money. The luggage cost money, the meal cost money.
So we get on the plane and like, oh god,

(03:56):
I have no I have no food. I thought there
was meals they charged for the wife fight. It's eight
dollars for a half hour for WiFi again jet Blue
free WiFi. I can't tell you enough jet Blue free, chips,
free WiFi. So now they're charging me for They want
to charge me for the WiFi, which they said WiFi.
I thought WiFi available. Oh, it's available, you have to
pay for it. Nine flight they don't give me WiFi.

(04:18):
Did you so you put out nine hundred bucks. No no, no, no,
no eight on. I'm saying the airline got nine dollars.
I'm not saying I don't have five bucks for a sandwich.
That being said, the menu was a couple of different
bags of chips, a cheese platter they call protein, a
fruit platter, which like half grapes, half hummus. I don't

(04:40):
need humus, and then one sandwich. You should really try
it scary. And I tried this chocolate humus the other day.
If you have to put chalcol on in it so
it tastes good, I don't want it. I just need
the chocolate chocolate like dunk a Ruse. Just just give
me to tell a dude boars Head dark chocolate humas,
It'll change your life. Okay, boars had, I'm eating, oh chickpeas,

(05:02):
give me the roast beef. Boor has had great corn beef,
all right. So I want to get a soda, so
I'm like, oh, they have diet sprite, and there's a
picture of a can of diet sprite. So I ordered
two because number one the three and number two you
can never get in a comeback. So I'm like, oh,
I'll just get too beginning to flight. So the steward
comes over and he he says, I can only give you
one because there's a lot of people on the flight
and we may run out. I said, because, I said,

(05:24):
in all fairness, pro everybody asked for two halfway down
the level. So I said, that's fine. I had my
my my can. That's great, and then uh, a couple
of hours later I ordered another one. He says, I
have to pour into a cup. I only have three
quarters of a can. This is like an hour and
a half into the flight. I said, but it's a
five hour flight. You're out already. So they're out of
diet sprite an hour and a half into the flight.

(05:47):
Here's an idea, pack more diet sprite. Okay on the
way hole. So the guy that doesn't like to fly
is telling the airlines how to run the business. No, yeah,
it doesn't listen. I don't have to like food. I mean,
if I go to rest on, I can tell the
chef something's good at bed, but like be just could
it be that that the airline was just having one

(06:07):
of those days just we all do if but not
on my flight? No, no, if it didn't happen worse
on the trip home. I would have said it was
a one time deal. Coming home again. One sandwich. Don't
put condiments on the sandwich. Don't decide for me what condiments.
Don't say it comes with Dijon mustard. Put the Dijon
mustard on the side. I get that it's twenty cents
more to give me a packet, but don't decide for

(06:28):
me that I want dijon. I don't want dijon, I
don't want Mayo. Leave it on the side. Some people
don't want condiments. Okay, so there's one sandwich available again,
cheese platter, half a peanut, butter and jelly for five
dollars whatever. So we take off. I order my diet
sprite and uh my, my traveling companion Jamie orders, tries

(06:49):
to order the sandwich. We haven't even gotten to the
part where you say you can unfasten your seatbelt, and
they're out of the sandwiches. They didn't make enough sandwiches
for a five hour flight again, coming to the same thing.
Out of sandwiches. No, now again, you have the fruit platter,
or you have half peanut butter and jelly sandwich, half
of peanut butter and jelly sandwich for an adult on

(07:11):
a five hour flight. Do you think you're on the
no fly list? I will be so I get. The
guy comes and he brings in my sprite in a cup.
It's already in the cup with ice in it. You
guys know me. I drink diet coke no ice, like
the most amount of soda, because he doesn't want it
to get watered down. Right while I'm sitting there, the
ice melts of waters downe you drink slow? Do you

(07:32):
drink on a five hour flight with one kid? I'm
gonna sip it there out of sprite. Here do you
sip soda? And okay? If I go up at four
and a half hours, I have no soda. Okay, so
I said to the guy, Uh, I'd like it without ice, please,
I'm sorry, he was, Oh, no problem. Comes back, brings
it with no ice. A few hours later, I ordered

(07:54):
the diet sprite. Out of diet sprite again, I said,
I'll order die coke. I go into little computer a
little cann of dike. I order one and the guy
comes again with with with a cup of ice with
soda the ice. I said, um, I know there's a
lot of people on the plane. But if you remember,
I'm the no ice guy. Can I please just have
no ice? He's no problem. Just next time he hit
the no ice button, I said, there's no no ice button. Yeah,

(08:15):
sure there is. There's a no ice button option. So
I said, okay, hold on, and I pull it back up.
And on the right side where you order no no
button that says no ice and the bottom left corner
under the can picture is a little circle and it
says the word meat. Yeah, I okay, hold on. Neat
means no ice. If you're ordering Scotch. Nobody orders a

(08:36):
diet Cote neat. Nobody says give me a give me
a dr Pepper neat, No such thing. Why can't they
put the words no ice? But this is a British company. Okay,
they have America in the title. Okay, they have whatever
the name of the company is. It's something America, but
shut up. But they're based out of Britain. Guy who

(08:56):
invented invented it was The guy who invented airplanes was
a American. The guy who invented soda was American. Pretty
sure the guy who invented ice was American. I know
it's a glacier that they we didn't invent ice. The
point is put no ice there. Put the word no
ice or anyway the thing is okay. And I think
the larger picture here that blue gives you a can
and says, enjoy the know this entire this entire trip

(09:22):
was free to you. It was free. It was missing
the point. Even if it's free, you still you still
want a good meal. But we would relate to you
more if you paid that. If the airline gave me
the free flight, you don't have a right to complain.
But the airline was paid nine hundred dollars to take

(09:44):
care of me. And listen. I'm not I'm not Hoi poloy.
I'm a middle class guy from a middle class family.
I don't know from nice things. I really don't I drive.
I drive middle class cars. I drove shitty cars in
my whole life. I was shitty clothing. I'm not a
Hoi Poloy guy. Don't I don't. I don't want Yeah,
I don't want John Varvado's jackets like you do. I'm

(10:05):
very under the very no. No, I'm very blue collar.
So I'm just I just would like a sandwich on
a five hour flight. But you're sounding like your hordy
toity by going I don't want to condiments hoity toity
is I want caveat hoity toity is I want a
fancy kish and lobster dinner. When I'm looking at this

(10:25):
the wrong way because in my in my mind, if
I had gotten what you had were due, which is
a free flight, free hotel, a whole weekend meeting the
hugest stars of the Biggest. If your boss, if your
boss takes you for dinner, and the and the and
the kitchen burns your food, You're not gonna say anything.
But if Franks, I would take it in stride, is

(10:47):
what I'm saying. I'm like, you know what, I just
had the best weekend of my life. But it didn't
cost me a dime. Okay, but you guys, you guys know,
you guys know I hate flying. You guys know I
get stressed on planes. So if I have nothing to
eat and nothing to drink in a five hour flight
to distract me, and nothing to watch because I didn't
watch episodes one and two of the show, it's a

(11:08):
little They don't know anything anything, but we all have
that thing in our lives which we expect a certain thing.
If you go to a restaurant, you expect certain thing.
You go to a baseball game, you expect a certain thing.
You got a Broadway show, anyway you go, you expect
a certain level of something. All I'm saying is I've
been on a lot of airlines. This was the the

(11:28):
low end in customer service. It's funny because what I'm
saying this is my The airline that you flew is
my favorite airline to fly. It's the best. I've taken
that company's planes to Europe right there, their regular line,
and it's like it's like flying a palace. The best
customer service, the best seats. It's fantas. This company is

(11:50):
known for fantastic customer service and pampering. All I'm saying
is and I didn't complain to anybody. I didn't ask
for anything for free on All I'm saying is it
was no Once they said we don't have any soda.
In your mind, You're like, what can I get from that?
Not at all. No, I don't want anything. I just

(12:12):
I didn't tweet about if you paid for it? Would
you have said what if I if I paid the
nine hundred dollars and I couldn't get a soda. No, no, no,
forget it. Somebody paid, but somebody paid nine hundred dollars.
Everyone that it's not your fight to fight, but if
you didn't pay the night. But I'm the customer that
can still be upset that my company laid out nine

(12:34):
dollars on my behalf and I don't have soda. As
a customer, I'm still allowed to say. I can still
write it. I can still have a review. If I
get into the movie so free, I can't come out
and say the movie stunk. But if you watch a
TV show for free, you can't say the TV show
is bad. But the airline, the airline is not gonna
take you serious. Did I ask the airline to take
me seriously? They're not going to the First of all,

(12:56):
the airline doesn't know who paid. Second of all, if
I'm a business travel that's more important to them because
I'm more likely to spend on a ticket two days
before the flight. And so are you going to write
a letter? Are you answer this tweet? Richard Branson right now?
I already stopped mentioning the company. Look, I already said
I'm not going to complain. But you guys asked me

(13:18):
how my flight was, and I'm telling because you asked
me a question. Was there turbulence? Yes, the last twenty
seven minutes of the flight home was pure. Now that's
nobody's fault. But it was a terrible flight. You got
home quicker. No, it doesn't go faster. Turbulence doesn't bounce
you fall. You had the jet stream So it wasn't
a five hour It wasn't five hours. It was five hours.
We didn't land earlier because the jets none that either

(13:38):
way coming from it. Asked me if there was turbulence.
There was turbulence vomiting on the plane. But were they yes, well,
I guess they had the one sandwich that was available
because they threw up. I didn't or they were so
hungry that they vomited. Yeah, I didn't eat, so I
didn't have any food to throw up, but I did
have that bad was this turbulence? Seven minutes of up
and down? And so when you can't watch a TV

(14:01):
show and you don't have soda, and that's what distracts you.
You asked me how my flight was, so I told
you other than that, had a great time. Other than that,
how is the play, Mrs Lincoln. No, the trip was great.
The people that arranged the trip pampered us. They're wonderful.
I'm just saying I was disappointed because that airline has
a reputation of being regal, of being pampering airline. You

(14:24):
tried to slip in, Abraham Lincoln joke. Didn't I didn't
slip it, but I said it. It's a cliche. Other
than that, how was the plane? How was the play,
Mrs Lincoln? Other than that, I had a great weekend.
We had a fence at the hotel. We stayed in
a Hilton. They know how to do hotels. Hilton. Hilton
is fantastic, beautiful rooms, great view, housekeeping like crazy anyway,

(14:45):
plenty of free ice oh the hotel. No water in
the room, no vending s. Thank you. Fifteen minute Morning
Show